Theory of Politeness

External and Internal Factors

• We are participating in various interactions where the social distance
determined by external factors is dominant: relative status of the
participants, social distance and closeness, and social values.
• Internal factors of a conversation are determined by imposition or degree
of friendliness which may change the social distance between two or
many participants (E.G. At the first meeting, we call our
partners/colleagues by their last name but if we have a closer distance then
we call them by their first name).
 Politeness
• Politeness represents polite social behavior where we show some
principles like modesty, and sympathy towards others, which may create a
closer relationship between participants or generate respect from others.
• The key to politeness is the public self-image of a person (or face) which
illustrates the emotional and social sense of self that everyone has and
expects everyone else to recognize.
• Showing awareness represents a perfect example of polite social behavior
which negotiates the social distance or closeness between participants.
 Politeness - Examples
• If the other participant is social distant then showing awareness
symbolizes a sign of respect or deference but if the other participant is
socially close then showing awareness symbolizes friendship or solidarity.
• Examples:
a) Excuse me, Mr. John, may I talk to you for a minute?
b) Hey, Johnny, got a minute?
 Face wants
• Face wants are built by the behavior of a participant in social interaction
to the expectations concerning their public self-image, which generally
gains respect.
• A face-threatening act represents the behaviour of a participant in a
social interaction which is considered an insult resulting in the
degradation of the public self-image.
• A face-saving act illustrates the reparation of the public self-image after
the face-threatening act realized by a participant in social interaction.
 Face wants - Examples
It’s midnight. A neighbor blasts his speakers because he wants to party.

a) I’m going to stop that awful noise right now (A face-threatening act ).
b)I could ask him if he will stop soon because it’s getting and people need to
get to sleep (A face-saving act).
 Negative and positive face
• Negative face is a term used to describe the desire to maintain
independence and freedom of action and the aversion towards being
imposed upon others.
• Positive face refers to the need to belong, to be liked, and to be accepted
by others. It is the term used to describe the desire to be seen positively by
others and to maintain a positive social identity.
 Self and other : say nothing
In the following example, you are the “self” and your colleague is the
“other”
• In politeness, indirect language is often used when we make a request. For
example, John is late and attends the seminar but he doesn't find his
pencil. He is looking at his colleague and still searching for his pencil.
• Many people prefer to suggest something instead of speaking about it or
even asking (Suggestive images or gestures).
 Say something: off and on record
• When speaking “off record”, you are suggesting something but it can be
interpreted as a question (Similar to the previous example but now we use
some words that suggest a question even if we are not speaking directly
with the other person)
• When speaking "on record”, you are speaking directly with the other
person in expressing your needs. A key element is the use of the
imperative sentence but with the polite formula “Please”.
 Negative Politeness and Positive
Politeness
• Negative politeness refers to the use of language that is polite and
respectful in order to avoid imposing on others. It involves using indirect
language, hedging, and apologies to show deference to the hearer's
feelings and preferences.
• Positive politeness involves using language that is warm, friendly, and
supportive in order to establish rapport and show appreciation for the
hearer. It is the term used to describe the desire to be seen as a good
fellow by others and to maintain a positive social relationship.
 Examples
• A) What’s up? Today is a rough day, isn’t it? Have I missed something?
Please, lend me a pen.
• B) I’m sorry to bother you, but can I ask you for a pen or something?
 Strategies
• Solidarity strategy refers to the use of positive politeness form,
emphasizing closeness between speaker and hearer (also includes personal
information, nicknames, and sharing slang expressions)
• Deference strategy (formal politeness) refers to the use of negative
politeness. This strategy emphasizes the hearer’s right to freedom through
impersonal expressions and absence of : personal information, slang
expressions and nicknames)
 Strategies - Examples
• A) Let’s go to the concert. Everyone will be there. We will rock!
(solidarity strategy)
• B) There’s going to be a concert if you make it. It will be fun. (deference
strategy)
 Pre-sequences
• Many of us are making a pre-request that emphasizes our requests which
can be responded to with “stop” or “go ahead” (the chances of the offer
being refused or accepted is 50/50).
• The responses are very suggestive such that we understand if it’s an
approval or a rejection but they are realized in a polite manner through the
use of specific formulas sort: “sorry”(which implies a refusal), “yeah,
sure” (an ambiguous answer but implies an approval).
 Pre-sequences - Examples

Accept Case Refuse Case

• Her: Are you busy? (pre-request) • Her: Are you busy? (pre-request)
• Him: Not really. (go ahead) • Him: Oh, sorry. (stop)
• Her: Watch this video. (req.)
• Him: Sure. (accept)
 Pre-sequences - Examples

Pre-invitation Pre-announcements
• Jim: What are you doing • Child: Mom, guess what
tomorrow? happened?
• Becky: Hmm, nothing. • Mom: (silence)
• Jim: Come over for my birthday • Child: Mom, you know what?
party. • Mom: Not right now. I’m busy.
• Becky: Gladly.
 Pre-sequences - Examples
• Pre- invitation (Refusal)
Jim: Are you doing anything this weekend? (pre-invitation)
Becky: Yeah, busy. (refuse)
Jim: Okay, bye. (stop)
Thank you!