CHAPTER 5

Listening
 Chapter Outline
• The Nature of Listening
• The Challenge of Listening
• Components of Listening
• Types of Listening Responses
 Learning Outcomes
You should be able to:
• describe the importance and nature of listening, and the
listening styles that interpersonal communicators use;
• explain the challenges that can impede effective listening and
identify your own ineffective listening;
• identify the five components of the interpersonal listening
process; and
• effectively use a variety of reflective and directive listening
responses.
 The Nature of Listening
The importance of listening
• When people think of improving their communication
skills, they usually think of developing their ability to
send messages.
• However, many scholars suggest that if you were to
choose only one communication skill to improve, your
best choice would be to improve your listening skills.
• Listening skills are critical in the workplace and in family,
social, and romantic relationships.
 The Nature of Listening, cont’d
Listening defined
• Hearing is the process by which sound waves strike
the eardrum and cause vibrations that are
transmitted to the brain.
• Listening is the process of receiving, interpreting, and
responding to spoken and non-verbal messages.
– The brain reconstructs the electrochemical impulses into a
representation of the original sound and then gives them
meaning.
– Hearing is automatic whereas listening requires the effort
of paying attention, understanding, remembering, and
responding.
 The Nature of Listening, cont’d
• Mindless listening
– Occurs when we react to others’ messages automatically
and routinely, without much mental investment.
• Mindful listening
– Involves giving careful and thoughtful attention and
responses to the messages we receive.
 The Nature of Listening, cont’d
Listening styles
• Task-oriented listening
– Concerned with efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand.
• Relational listening
– Concerned with building emotional closeness with others.
• Analytical listening
– Attends to all aspects of a message before coming to judgment.
• Critical listening
– Evaluates message’s quality, focusing on accuracy and consistency.
 The Challenge of Listening
Recognizing barriers to listening
• Information overload
• Personal concerns
• Rapid thought
– Can understand up to 600 words per minute; average
person speaks 100–140 words per minute.
• Noise
– Internal and external noise means it takes more effort to
listen.
 The Challenge of Listening, cont’d
Avoiding poor listening habits
• Pseudo-listening
– Polite imitation of listening to mask inattention.
• Stage hogging
– Being interested only in expressing one’s own ideas and
not caring about what other people have to say.
• Selective listening
– Responding only to the parts of a speaker’s remarks that
spark one’s interest, rejecting everything else.
 The Challenge of Listening, cont’d
• Filling in the gaps
– Manufacturing information that was not part of an original story or
message so that when it is retold, it is a distorted version of the
original.
• Insulated listening
– Failing to hear or acknowledge certain topics when they are raised.
• Defensive listening
– Taking innocent comments as personal attacks.
• Ambushing
– Listening in order to collect information with which to attack the
speaker.
 Components of Listening
Hearing
• Physiological aspect of listening.
• Diminishable by physiological disorders, background
noise, and auditory fatigue.
Attending
• Psychological process.
• The effort of paying attention to both verbal and
non-verbal messages.
 Components of Listening, cont’d
Understanding
• Involves attaching meaning to a message.
• Requires awareness of syntactic and grammatical
rules of the language, familiarity with the speaker’s
vocabulary and jargon, and knowledge about the
source and context of the message.
• Listening fidelity
– The degree of congruence between what a listener
understands and what the message sender was trying to
communicate.
 Components of Listening, cont’d
Remembering
• Depends on the number of times information is
heard, how much information is received at once,
and whether or not the information can be
rehearsed.
Responding
• Giving observable (both verbal and non-verbal)
feedback to the speaker.
 Types of Listening Responses
Silent listening
• Staying attentive and non-verbally responsive
without saying anything.
• Can be the right approach:
– If you don’t want to encourage the speaker to keep talking.
– If interjection would not be appropriate.
– To listen to others’ ideas on collaborative tasks.
– To help others solve their own problems.
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Questioning
• To clarify meanings
• To learn about other people’s thoughts, feelings, and
wants
• To encourage elaboration
• To encourage discovery
• To gather more facts and details
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Questioning, cont’d
• Sincere questions: Aimed at understanding
• Counterfeit questions: Designed to send a message,
not receive one
– Questions that trap the speaker (e.g. leading questions)
– Questions that make statements
– Questions that carry hidden agendas
– Questions that seek a positive judgment
– Questions based on unchecked assumptions
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Paraphrasing
• Feedback that restates in your own words the message
you thought the speaker sent.
• Types of paraphrasing statements:
– Change the speaker’s wording.
– Offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about.
– Describe the underlying theme of the speaker’s remarks.
• Paraphrasing can involve factual information (facts, data,
details) or personal information (thoughts, feelings,
wants).
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Empathizing
• Listeners use an empathizing response when they
want to show they identify with a speaker.
• Empathizing is not:
– Denying others the right to their feelings.
– Minimizing the significance of the situation.
– Focusing on yourself.
– Raining on the speaker’s parade.
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Supporting
• Reveals your solidarity with the speaker’s situation.
• Types of supportive responses:
– Agreement
– Offers to help
– Praise
– Reassurance
– Diversion
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Analyzing
• Listener offers an interpretation of speaker’s message.
• Guidelines for knowing when it’s helpful to offer analysis:
– Offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather than as
absolute fact.
– Your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance of being
correct.
– Make sure that the other person will be receptive to your
analysis.
– Be sure that your motive for offering an analysis is truly to help
the other person.
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Evaluating
• Appraises the sender’s thoughts or behaviour in
some way.
• Evaluations may be favourable or unfavourable.
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Advising
• Providing the speaker with your opinion about what they
should do.
• Reasons why advice is not always helpful:
– It may not offer the best suggestion about how to act.
– People may perceive it as implying they are inferior to the
advice giver who has a ready solution.
– It often allows others to avoid responsibility for their decisions.
– People often do not want advice, and instead may simply need
to talk out their thoughts and feelings.
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Advising, cont’d
• Questions to consider before offering advice:
– Is the advice needed?
– Is the advice wanted?
– Is the advice given in the right sequence?
– Is the advice coming from an expert?
– Is the advisor a close and trusted person?
– Is the advice offered in a sensitive, face saving manner?
 Types of Listening Responses, cont’d
Which style to use?
• Consider the situation.
• Consider the other person.
• Consider yourself, your weaknesses, and your
strengths.