CONFLICT

• Definition
• Types
• Causes
• Conflict management
 Definition

Please tell one sentence

definition of conflict
 What are your associations to
the word, “conflict ” ?

Beliefs about conflict…

• Conflict is generally negative and destructive
• It is better to ignore small problems
• Recognizing conflict can make it increase
• Problems will work themselves out
• Conflict is the result of bad management
• There are usually single, simple causes of conflict
 Definition
• A situation in which someone believe that
his/her own need has been denied
• Conflict stems from unsatisfied human needs
• Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least
two interdependent parties who perceive
incompatible goals, scare resources, and
interference from others in achieving their
goals.”
• In conflict, people represent their interests, &
will use power and coercion to meet those needs
 Coser – social function of conflict

• Conflict is not always dysfunctional for the

relationship within which it occurs; often, conflict is
necessary to maintain such a relationship
• Conflict not only generates new norms, new
institutions…it may be said to be stimulating directly
in the economic and technological realm.
 The Cost of Conflict

• Over 65% of performance problems result from

strained relationships rather than skill or motivation
problems

• Amount of time wasted during conflict can be as high as

50% of gross salary, defending, avoiding & venting

• Chronic unresolved conflict is a decisive factor in 50% of

people leaving, and 90% of involuntary terminations

• Projected costs should include estimates of wasted time,

reduced decision quality, loss of skilled employees,
restructuring, sabotage, lowered motivation, lost work time,
and health costs, loss of innovation & initiative.
 Types of conflict

Internal External

Between a character & Between a character

his/her self & an outside force

Man vs self Man vs man

eg. Choose Man vs nature
between right & Man vs society
wrong
 Causes
• Conflicting resources.
• Conflicting styles.
• Conflicting perceptions.
• Conflicting goals.
• Conflicting pressures.
• Conflicting roles.
• Different personal values.
• Unpredictable policies.
 Symptoms of conflict
• Tensions
• No desire to communicate
• Work not done poperly
• Disastrous meeting
• Anger occurs quickly & easily
• Failing productivity
• Absenteeism
• Accidents
 In order to make things fair, all parties
have to:
• Understand
• Avoid making things worse
• Work together
• Find a solution
First we have to try to understand – by
putting ourselves in the other person’s
shoes.
Five Conflict Response Styles

• Avoiding
• Competing/Controlling
• Accommodating
• Compromising
• Collaborating
 Avoiding
• Deciding that you don’t want to take on a particular
conflict.
• Choosing not to engage in a particular conflict.
• Not addressing the existence of a difficult issue or
conflict.
 Avoiding is best used when you are:
• Withdrawing from a “hot” situation.
• Deciding that this is not a high priority issue for you.
• Waiting for a more appropriate time to deal with the
conflict.
• Concerned that a confrontation may be damaging to you
or others.
• Don’t feel you have the power or authority to address the
issue.
 Competing
•Standing up for your rights or beliefs
•Being assertive.
•Pursuing your own beliefs, values and concerns.
•At times, asserting your opinion at the expense of
others.
 Competing is Best Used When:
• The issue is vital to you, your family, or your organization,
and you need to stand up for your values and beliefs.
• It appears that someone needs to take charge of a
situation.
• There is an emergency or question of safety and a quick
decision needs to be made.
 Competing
 Personal and Professional Costs
 This style generally sets up “win-lose” situations.
 Difficult to promote democratic decision-making
and/or creative problem-solving when a
competing style is used often.
 The sense of power gained by does not create an
inclusive environment for others.
 Frequent use of a competitive style can escalate
anger and conflict.
 People may develop a negative view of you.
 Accommodating
 Letting go of your own ideas in a conflict for the purpose of
satisfying someone else’s interests above our own.
• Being cooperative, conceding to the wishes of others.
• The opposite of competing.
• A quick way to resolve a conflict.
• May involve selfless charity or generosity.
 Accommodation Is Best Used When:
• The issue is more important to the other person than us
• When want to demonstrate that we are reasonable, /or you
realize that you are wrong.
• By ending the conflict through accommodation, will not risk
losing everything.
• It’s important to preserve harmony or avoid disruption.
• The sense of cooperation we are building now will enhance
relationships in a way that will be beneficial over time.
 Compromising
• Compromising is the middle ground between competing and
accommodating, in which each of the people involved in a
conflict gives up some things and not others.
• Compromise can be thought of as “sharing the pie” or
“splitting the difference.”
• It requires both assertiveness (e.g., standing up for what is
really important to you) and some level of cooperation
(being willing to give up that which is less important to you).
 Compromising
 Compromising is Best Used When:
• All or some of the issues being discussed are
moderately important.
• The people involved realize that it is more
important to solve the problem than to “win.”
• There is a sense that it is possible to reach a “fair”
or temporary settlement.
• A quick middle-ground solution makes sense and
brings at least partial satisfaction to all involved.
 Collaboration
 An approach in which people go beyond their own
interests and solutions to create something new.
• Asserting our self interests, while respecting and
cooperating with the interests of others.
• Meeting the interests of all parties to the maximum
extent possible.
• A win for everyone- “One for all-all for one.”
 Collaboration is Best Used When:
• The solution meets all needs and doesn’t
compromise anyone’s critical beliefs, values, or
outcomes.
• Using a team approach & are trying to equalize
power, gain commitment, and merge insights.
• We have authority to implement the solution.
 Overview of the Five Conflict Response
Styles
 Avoiding: Not addressing the existence of conflict.
 Competing: Being assertive and pursuing your own concerns,
sometimes at expense of others.
 Accommodating: Letting go of your own ideas in order to satisfy
others’ interests above your own.
 Compromising: Middle ground between competing and
accommodating, where you give up some of your ideas but not
all of them.
 Collaborating: An approach in which people go beyond their own
interests and solutions to create something new

Source: Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (1974),Thomas-

Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. Tuxedo, NY: Xicom Inc.
 Final Thoughts
• Each of us has our own style with which we are
most comfortable or skillful.
• Most of us use more than one style to some
degree.
• We sometimes mirror and are influenced by the
conflict styles of others.
• The more we recognize which styles work best in
particular situations, the better we become at
responding to conflict.
 Case Study Activity
• Imagine that you are the leader of a four person parent advisory committee that
has done a lot of research on ways to enhance activities available to students with
disabilities and other students who are experiencing challenges in your school.
After months of hard work, you have submitted a proposal to the school board for
an inclusive after school program that your group feels will benefit all children.
Yesterday, you got a call from the principal saying that the school board has chosen
not to approve the proposal for budgetary reasons. You are about to hold a
meeting to decide what to do next and have had a few preliminary calls that
suggest that members of your committee have different opinions on the topic. One
is really angry, because he believes that the principal and school board members
care more about supporting sports teams than about supporting kids who struggle
in school. He’s ready to call the chair of the school board and the principal to let
them know how he feels. Both of the other two members of your committee feel
that the budget for the program was pretty high. One feels that your committee
should start over and come up with a totally new plan that the Board will support,
while the other thinks your committee should ask the board for ideas about how to
scale back the current program so that it would be acceptable. You are not sure
what solution is best, but you don’t think the group would be well-served by being
either too assertive or by giving up. As your meeting begins, you are wondering
how to resolve the conflict that is likely to take place during your meeting…
 Case Study: Questions for Discussion
• What are the primary conflicts that you see in this situation?
• Based on the information you have, what are the conflict
response styles of the members of the committee?
• What is likely to happen if group members rely only on their
preferred conflict styles during the meeting? Think about 1)
what might happen within the group, and 2) what might
happen to the group in relation to the school board’s decision.
• What other options does this group have, and what conflict
response style(s) might be most helpful in this situation?
• What might you, as the facilitator of the group, do to support
the group in working towards solutions to 1) inner group
conflicts, and 2) the challenge you face in dealing with the
school board?
STRESS

• Feelings of lack of control over environment &

an inability to change things
• A person’s physical & emotional response to
change
• Stems from psychological rather than physical
threat
• Becomes a problem when it interferes with a
person’s ability in daily life or impact health
negatively
STRESS!!!
• Eustress: Good Stress

– Getting into college

– Getting engaged

– Winning the lottery

STRESS !!!
• Distress: Stress from bad
sources

– Difficult work
environment

– Overwhelming sights
and sounds

– Threat of personal
injury
 Categorizing Stressors
• Personal Stressors
– major life events that have immediate negative
consequences that generally fade with time
• Background stressors
– everyday annoyances that cause minor irritations but have
no long-term ill effects
• Uplifts
– minor positive events that make one feel good
• Cataclysmic events
– strong stressors that occur suddenly, affecting many
people at once
 General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS)
• Stage I - Alarm Reaction
– The “fight or flight” response which causes you to
be ready for physical activity

– However, it decreases the effectiveness of the

immune system which makes you more
susceptible to illness
 General Adaptation Syndrome
• Stage II – Stage of adaptation or resistance
– If stress continues, the body adapts to the
stressors it is being exposed to

– If the stressor is starvation, the person

experiences a reduced desire for physical activity
to conserve energy, and the absorption of
nutrients from any food intake is maximized
 General Adaptation Syndrome
• Stage III – Stage of Exhaustion

– Stress persists for a long time

– The body’s resistance may be reduced or collapse

quickly

– People who experience long-term stress may have

heart attacks, severe infections, or chronic pain or
illness
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

• Behavioral symptoms

• Physical symptoms
 BEHAVIORAL SYMPTOMS
• TOO MUCH SLEEP (HYPERSOMNIA) OR
TOO LITTLE SLEEP (INSOMNIA)
• NIGHTMARES
• NERVOUS HABITS LIKE NAIL-BITING
OR FOOT-TAPPING
• DECREASED SEX DRIVE
• TEETH GRINDING
• IRRITABILITY OR IMPATIENCE
• CRYING OVER MINOR INCIDENTS
• DREADING GOING TO WORK OR OTHER
ACTIVITIES
 PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

• MIGRAINE OR TENSION HEADACHES

• DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS LIKE
HEARTBURN OR DIARRHEA
• SHALLOW BREATHING OR SIGHING
• COLD OR SWEATY PALMS
• JAW PAIN, NECK PAIN,SHOULDER
PAIN
The Interactional Model (Folkman and
Lazarus, 1984).

Stressor
An event occurs.
An invent occur

How do I feel about this?

Primary appraisal How do I feel about it?

Secondary appraisal How can I cope with it?cope with this?

Stress if I cannot cope .

Outcome
 Coping strategies.
• Emotion-focused coping
– characterized by the conscious regulation of
emotion in which people seek to change the way
they feel or perceive the problem
• Problem-focused coping
– attempts to change the stressful problem or
source of the stress
 Coping with Stress.
• Hardiness
– Is a person’s ability to cope with stress.
– a personality characteristic associated with a
lower rate of stress-related illness
– People with hardy personalities have an internal
locus of control, are strongly committed to the
activities in their lives, and view change as an
opportunity for advancement and growth
• Social support
– a mutual network of caring, interested others
 Coping with Stress.
• Hardiness
– a personality characteristic associated with a
lower rate of stress-related illness
• commitment
• challenge
• control
• Social support
– a mutual network of caring, interested others