Conflict management

HEALTH MANAGEMENT
Learning Objectives
Upon completion of this lecture, you will be able to:
• Describe how conflict impacts individuals and teamwork;
• Assess their own personal history and comfort level with conflict;
• Compare and contrast cultural differences in expressing and responding to
conflict;
• Listen to others with empathy;
• Understand their own autobiographical listening patterns;
• Distinguish between task and relationship conflict;
• List at least two actions that can be used for managing and resolving conflict;
• Relate the leadership practices in Habit 5 to the skills required for conflict
management; and
• Integrate insights from self-assessment, learning, and reflection into the
Individual
 Definition
• Conflictmeans
conflictstruggling
between people.
= struggle

• People with different ideas, different beliefs, different values, different needs.
We'll start this module on conflict by thinking about what that word actually
means to you.
• When I use the word "conflict," take just a moment in your mind's eye to think
about what conflict looks like to you.
• For many of you I'm guessing you first are seeing negative images. Images of
war, arguments between people, anger and frustration, images of tension.
What does conflict look like?

• We often think conflict in terms of winners and losers

• Terms such as
• Resistance
• Silence
• Inertia
Come to mind
conflict

• Many people also associate conflict with images of winning and losing. Winning
a dispute, losing an election, court cases, arguments, and I imagine that some
of you are remembering difficult meetings where there were personal attacks
going on, feelings of alienation and isolation in the room, and maybe silence
instead of healthy debate and discussion.
• Yesterday somebody was telling me about one of our partner agencies, that is
undergoing a reorganization that's caused a great deal of conflict. My friend
there described the environment as "Putting a plate of vegetables down in front
of a child who sits and stares at it, but doesn’t make a move to eat any of it." It's
true that we often have these sorts of images when we think of conflict.
Resistance, silence, inertia
What

• Use conflict for your own effectiveness

• Reduce and resolve negative conflict
Conflict can also look like this (in fact must look like)
• Creative thinking
• Understanding all sides of the issue
• Group cohesion
Conflict can be healthy debate
Conflict

• However, conflict can also look like this, people coming together for a healthy
debate on difficult issues. Our presidential elections, for instance. It's clear
there's should be no love lost between the candidates and yet they're willing
and expected to air their differences in front of us.
• For me this is what democracy is, a kind of healthy debate so that people like
me can make a choice of who is going to lead us into the future. From this type
of conflict comes creative thinking, a much greater understanding of all sides of
complex issues, and greater group cohesion. This lecture is one of the most
important tools in your management and leadership strategies. The ability to
use conflict, to increase your own effectiveness, and to reduce and resolve
negative conflict and strife on the job.
Successful leaders manage conflict

• They don’t shy away from it or suppress it, but see it as an engine of creativity
and innovation. Some of the most creative ideas come out people in conflict
remaining in conversation with one another rather than flying into their own
corners of comfort or staking out entrenched positions. The challenge for
leaders is to develop structures and processes in which such conflicts can be
orchestrated productively.
• It is very important to create these structures.
Five Modes for Handling Conflict

1. Competing
2. Collaborating
3. Accommodating
4. Avoiding…..and
5. Compromising.
These correspond to two dimensions of personality:
• Cooperativeness
• Assertiveness.
Cooperation and assertiveness

• Each of us fall along a continuum between cooperative and uncooperative and

between assertive and unassertive.
• Depending upon the situation you are in and the degree of your own and
others’ cooperation and assertiveness, you can consciously decide which ways
of responding might lead toward the most effective response to the
circumstances.
• Culture also play a significant role in how you handle conflict. Some cultures
are generally more non-confrontational and prefer to avoid conflict or not deal
with it unless there is really no choice. Other cultures literally look for conflict.
Response to conflict

• Of the five responses to conflict, there is not necessarily one that is always
correct to use.
• As a matter of fact, being aware of options for different responses will increase
your “conflict vocabulary”, if you will, and your chances of responding in a way
that resolves conflict to everyone’s satisfaction.
Assertiveness and cooperativeness.

• Assertiveness is the extent to which you attempt to satisfy your own concerns
in a conflict.
• Cooperativeness is the extent to which you attempt to satisfy the other
person’s concerns in a conflict.
Matrix

ASSERTIVE UNCOOPERATIVE

UNASSERTIVE COOPERATIVE
Matrix
• The diagram illustrates that these two dimensions affect how someone handles
conflict. A highly assertive and highly uncooperative person is much more likely to
address conflict in a competitive sort of way. A highly unassertive and highly
cooperative person on the other hand is much more likely to approach conflict
resolution in an accommodating manner.
Matrix

• In the bottom left quadrant is avoiding, or “leaving well enough alone.” Someone who avoids
conflict may choose not to engage rather than address the conflict directly.
• This resolution tactic can be useful, as many conflicts resolve themselves if you don't intervene.
The people involved are forced to find a solution without bringing the project manager into the
situation, and that tends to strengthen the relationship between team members.
• Avoidance can also be used at certain times to buy yourself time, so that you don’t jump into
conflict resolution too quickly or without enough information. However, avoiding conflict can
become a habit, especially if you value harmony and prefer to avoid conflict.
• It’s important not to use avoidance too much, but it can be a choice. It's used in diplomacy to
move slowly through volatile issues and to avoid a confrontation that would ultimately do more
harm than good.
• There are also times when you can avoid a conflict or use this avoidance strategy by delegating
responsibility for conflict resolution to someone else. However, if you delegate conflict resolution
too often, you're probably just avoiding conflict in a different way
Matrix

• Moving along the assertiveness axis we come to competing. This might be

thought of as “might makes right.” When people are highly assertive and
highly uncooperative, conflicts are more likely to be managed by attempting
to win, using whatever power is available to prevail.
• Note that competing is not always bad—it might be effective when you need
to make a very quick decision; for instance, a decision in the midst of a crisis
or when you need to make a difficult or a controversial decision that is going
to be hard no matter what decision you make. In that sort of situation, you
face conflict squarely and force resolution in your favor, believing it’s best for
everyone.
Matrix

• Moving along the cooperativeness axis we come to accommodating. The

sentiment here might be akin to “extending kindness.” A person in this
quadrant will neglect their own concerns and interests in order to
accommodate those of the other person. In some cases, this approach is the
right one to use.
• It can be an appropriate way to address conflict if you want to create goodwill,
keep the peace, preserve harmony, and when the relationship is more
important than the issue at hand.
Matrix

• In the middle, we have compromise, also known as “splitting the difference.”

This means finding a mutually acceptable solution that is at least somewhat
satisfactory to both parties.
• You might approach a negotiation or a conflict with your own needs in mind,
but with the spirit of give and take. Your intent is to find a mutually acceptable
solution to the problem.
• However, compromise usually means that neither party entirely gets what they
want. It is used to resolve important conflicts where you want both parties to
have at least partial satisfaction. This strategy of compromise or meeting in the
middle can be quite effective.
Matrix

• Finally, in the top right corner is collaboration. This could be thought of as “two
heads are better than one.” This means engaging with the other person to find
a solution that fully satisfies each of their concerns.
• This solution may be totally different from the original solution each person
proposed, but both parties agree that it is the best solution to the problem.
Collaboration is often the most enduring and productive approach to conflict
resolution, but it also takes the most energy, the least interference from
individual egos, and the greatest level of
Types of conflict
• The first is task-related or work-related conflict.
• The second is personality or relationship-related conflict.
• Let's talk first about task-related conflict.
Types of conflict
• This type of conflict has to do with different options about how to get
something done or what work actually needs to be done. Difference in
methods, style, values or approaches. I think that task-related conflict can
actually be something positive. People are engaged, they are passionate, they
have ideas about the way forward.
• But if you as a manager leave this type of conflict unattended for too long or
unresolved or you deal with it poorly, choosing one person over another for
personal reasons, for instance, this type of conflict, though it started as
productive conflict, can negatively affect team functioning and relationships
on the team, and it can turn into the second type of conflict, personality-
related conflict or relationship-related conflict.
Resolution

• Problem solving through accommodation, collaboration, cooperation. Working

together to find a solution that satisfies each persons concerns or splitting the
difference in a way that is somewhat satisfactory to both parties.
• Successful resolution results in enhanced creativity, improved decision making
and better outcomes.
Relationship –related conflict

• This type of conflict is a whole different thing. This type of conflict involves
typically hurt feelings, blaming behavior, misunderstandings, the inability to
understand or hear what others are saying, positions of defensiveness,
resentments and competition for resources.
• I know that these are all things that you've experienced at one time or another at
work because I think we all have. The idea in thinking about what type of conflict
is occurring is really not to have the goal of eliminating conflict completely.
• Rather, you want to keep conflict from becoming destructive. You want to keep it
from becoming personality-related conflict if you can. The thermometer you're
going to see on the next slide illustrates this idea in a straightforward way.
Thermometer analog

• Top- personal attacks- tempers flying

• Middle – constructive conflict- normal climate

• Bulb – artificial harmony- it’s a matter of time

Thermometer

• What you're not after is artificial harmony where people don't really agree,
but they are afraid to say so. When that occurs, program quality almost
always suffers. You also don't want personality-related conflict to infect your
office and that sometimes, it only takes one or two people to ruin a
workplace atmosphere.
• In between these two extremes is a zone where constructive task-related
conflict allows us to examine different approaches, hear many points of view,
and build a cohesive team. In the end, many times someone still has to decide
among different points of view. That might be you, that might be someone else.
Thermometer

• And there are also times when people need to actually leave the job because
they can't work more cooperatively with others, or they're not able, for some
reason, to put personality-related conflict aside.
• When that happens, it's your job as a manager to see what's happening and to
intervene, to shape what happens next or to influence the outcome, and to
keep the vision and the mission or the goals of what you're trying to
accomplish clearly in your own sight and in the sight of the team.
Confronting Conflict

• Yes, there is sometimes unavoidable conflicts and I think you have to identify them,
recognize them, declare directly to the people involved about your concerns and then
seek to resolve them. And don’t give up until they are resolved. But the biggest problem
with conflicts, I think, is when the two parties involved refuse to confront the conflict.
• When complaints are made indirectly or to other people but not directly to the person
with whom you have a difference. And when you do that, you break down all trust.
There is no resolution to a conflict if there isn’t a direct confrontation. If there isn’t
wiliness to say, I don’t like this and we have to resolve this.
• And they may say, well I don’t like you either and I don’t like this but at least you know,
face-to face what the issues are. And there is no telling what the outcome of that conflict
will be, but there is a clear understanding of where each side is coming from. Sometimes
conflicts are not negotiable. I’m not a Pollyanna, I don’t believe that all conflicts can be
resolved
The Unmotivated Worker

• But there are situations, probably where it is more common, in which you have
to work, or there is no way you can change the team so it’s the way it is.
Because of labor things or because of other situations.
• There is no way there is going to be any change. So, with this person, there was
that situation and so this is what we call a permanent position so I decided to
talk.
• So, what if we have a coffee and we talk? Right?
The Unmotivated Worker
• ‘’I know that you are an intelligent person. I know that you are a caring person, but
there is something that is wrong. What is going on? I mean, what can motivate you
to do these things or what would you like to do?”
• “So that I can support what you would like to do. And initially, he was very closed but
then he opened and he was actually very honest and he told me, well you know, I
have this job and I need to survive but I’m not interested in these kinds of things. I
am interested on other things. That shocked me.”
The Unmotivated Worker

• He said, but I’m really surprised that you have taken the time to talk to me and
discuss this issue. So, I’m going to make an exception and if you tell me one of
two things that you would like me to do then I will do it.
• And he did it. But that was the most I was able to get. But that was the most
restraining situation I had ever had. But he was able to do it. He was smart but
he was completely unmotivated with this type of governmental work.
• He just wanted to cover the time he was working but he did the two things
that he compromised to do. He did it, so I can at least say I was able to maybe
not make him part of the team but at least take those two commitments and
do it
Letting It Go

• “My father is somebody who doesn’t hold grudges. So, if anything happens in the
home, he would tell me, my friend, even if you get hurt, even if you cut yourself,
even if you take a knife, chop one of your fingers, it has happened, let go and
forget about it. So, that over the years I have that in mind, from the years of my
childhood, meeting these difficult people, meeting difficult situations, I’ve always
said, oh hell, after all, what do I lose if I let it go, and then forge ahead? And that
has helped me, but it’s not something that just comes in very easily. You have to
make sure that your mind changes, you entertain it until eventually it becomes
settled in you. My boss, So that was her principle, if you had crossed swords with
somebody, don’t take it to heart. It will only harm you, to eat you and at the end
of the day it would be you who would not be functional, who have problems. So,
it is better to accept what has happened and let it go and move forward”
Reaching a Compromise

• “I think being able to be open the group has to know what their complaining
about has been registered, it has been received and acknowledged. I think that
is the first step. When I first started out as district health officer it was during the
rainy season and we were faced with a cholera outbreak and we had to prepare.
• “There is a particular cadre of healthcare workers who were going out and
dealing with the cholera patients more so than any other cadre and they were
demanding allowances, which they were not entitled to by government policy.
And they were threatening to go on strike.”
• “And that is the most serious thing that could happen in a district because you
know you may lose your job regardless of the circumstances. It is very bad
publicity and people would rather get rid of you, rather than addressing the true
issue.”
Reaching a Compromise

• “So, in those circumstances I did invite, not the whole group, but
representatives of the group to be able to sit down at the table and ask them
to outline their points of view, what they felt they were entitled to something.
I also enlightened them to the policy and the regulations in place.”
• “I tried to bargain with them to say okay, if you are not allowed to have
allowances and you understand the reason why you are not allowed to have
allowances for the work that you do, could we decide on the best approach
that would allow me as a manager to continually support you and that you
would find acceptable when you go back to the group and tell them.”
Reaching a Compromise

• “So we did reach a compromise that was helpful because we also built that
sense of team spirit. That they were not alone when they went out to go
manage or investigate a cholera patient. They had the support behind them.
They had the equipment that they needed. They had other health works
supporting the work that they did. They were not castigated; it’s not like they
were dealing with leprosy patients where nobody else would support you.”
• “The whole team has to be behind the individuals who go to the front line and
even be willing to go with them. So, that was demonstrated throughout. I made
a commitment to them and I kept that commitment throughout the time that I
was there and the whole situation was diffused.”
 Seek first to understand.
Then
• Good leaders/mangers tocommunication
believe that be understood
is the most important skill in life,
and I have to agree with them. And communicating is, first and foremost, about
listening.
• We spent years learning to read and write and years learning to speak. But what
about listening?
How do we listen now?
• Ignore- avoid
• Pretend- yeah, uh hum…
• Selective listening
• Attentive listening- getting worked up
How do we listen now?
• Most people listen autobiographically, meaning that they listen with their own
personal filters—concerned with how what is being said is relevant to them.
• In this sense the common phrase that “We hear what we want to hear,” seems to fit.
Most people do not step into the shoes of the person who is speaking.
• WE FAIL TO STEP IN THE SHOES OF THE PERSON SPEAKING
Avoid (STOP) autobiographical responses
1. Evaluate: You either agree or disagree.
2. Probe: You ask questions from your own frame of reference.
3. Advise: You give counsel and solutions to problems based on your own experiences.
4. Interpret: You try to figure people out—explain their motives and behavior—based
on your own motives and behavior
How do we become better listeners?
• Sop talking
• Don’t interrupt
• Ask questions appropriately to clarify
• Look, act and be interested.
• Seek to first understand, then be understood.
• Be sensitive to the speakers feelings and appreciate their point of view.
In other words, don’t evaluate, probe, offer advice or interpret until you really have
listened
Genuine listening

Genuine listening means suspending

• Memory
• Desire and
• Judgement and for a few moments, at least, existing for other person.
Empathic listening skills
Empathic listening skills include:
• Rephrasing content
• Reflecting feeling
• Asking questions for better understanding
To listen with empathy you need to do all three.
Rephrase content
• When you rephrase content, you put the meaning of what another person said into
your own words. You are trying to see things as he or she does—trying to understand
things from his or her frame of reference.
• You are thinking about the content of what is being said and not just about words
only. Here is an example. This may sound easy, but sometimes it can be quite
challenging. Especially when you have a different opinion from the person you are
listening to.
Reflecting feeling
• Let’s consider what we mean by “rephrasing content?” When you rephrase content,
you put the meaning of what another person said into your own words.
• You are trying to see things as he or she does—trying to understand things from his
or her frame of reference. You are thinking about the content of what is being said
and not just about words only. Here is an example.
• This may sound easy, but sometimes it can be quite challenging. Especially when you
have a different opinion from the person you are listening to.
Reflecting

In this example Maria says:

• This project is driving me crazy. I don’t know if I’m going to get it finished
before I go home for my sister’s wedding. And
• Josephine responds: Maria, you sound a bit worried. By reflecting feeling we
mean emphasizing the emotion of what’s been said through feeling
statements, metaphors (“Kind of like . . .” “It’s as though . . “), etc. The
reflection of feeling is often regarded as the deepest form of reflection
Key points about empathic listeners

Remember, some key points about empathic listeners:

1. Receive the speaker’s message, without interruption, until the speaker is
finished
2. Remain focused on the speaker’s message without piggybacking or stealing
the topic
3. Refrain from providing suggestions or giving advice until asked
4. Apply their attention to remembering what the speaker has said rather than
formulating a response
5. Know when to listen and when to speak
6. Limit questions that direct the conversation where you want it to go
Reflections

• .In general, simpler reflections of content and understanding are used at first,
when meaning is less clear, and then you reflect feeling as understanding
increases. Jumping too far beyond what was said, however, can turn into an
unwelcome interpretation and become a roadblock to good listening and
relationship building.
Control

• “I always tell people that I don’t walk slowly in the hospital, and there’s many reasons
for that. If you are walking very slowly, if you are going slowly, anybody can stop you,
and ask you for something. If you’re walking very fast, then you are showing you are
going somewhere and so you have to have a purpose in what you’re doing.”
• “So, the ability to carry yourself and to be able to change, to be able to show
concern, to be able to be angry at something and to be able to deal with that, is
something that I work on and I...I do get angry, but I wouldn’t shout. Most of the
time, if something is really made me very, very unhappy, I will not deal with it at that
time. I’ll let it go...and then wait, and then come back and usually by the time I come
back I’ll be able to separate what was my personal emotion and what was the actual
problem that had actually existed. I try not to let it slide...to let it go”
Tools of managing conflict

1. Build trust in your team. We've talked in this and other modules about the importance of trust and the
importance of having a reserve of trust so that you can weather disagreements and difficult issues. Know
yourself and allow others to know you.
2. Self knowledge and disclosure-Be willing to disclose your weaknesses or your tendencies towards one type of
comfort level with conflict or another. Let people know you. That's another way of building trust within your
team. This means disclosing to others what tendencies or experiences you might have when it comes to
confronting and resolving conflict.
3. Develop conflict norms and ground rules-A third idea is to take a conflict styles inventory with your own team
or across your organization. This gives everybody a common vocabulary and understanding of what the ground
rules around conflict management might be. You might also in your organization or on your team develop
norms about how you will handle conflict as a group of people. Norms like discussing difficult situations in
private. Using a tone of civility no matter how hot and passionate the discussion gets around the issue. Or
getting in the habit of naming the type of disagreement or the type of conflict that you think is occurring.
4. Model and practice effective communication.
5. Mine for conflict and model acceptance
6. Reinforce healthy debate
Dealing with Interpersonal Conflict

• “Yeah, so, so, I think what happens a lot of times, rather than people directly coming
to you with a complaint or just letting them know, letting you know where they stand
they'll just conduct their activities in a way that's really passive- aggressive and you
sort of pick it up, you, you, it takes me by surprise every time because I ultimately
have this good faith in people and I think that basically all people are basically good-
hearted until they show me this other side.”
• “I tend to then try to confront people and let them know that I’m here to stay and I
didn't work all these years to allow someone to either do something that's going to
make me appear to be anything other than who I am.“
Dealing with Interpersonal Conflict

• “So, don't waste your time and, you know, in trying to derail me if you have
something that we need to talk about let's talk about it, but don’t let me hear
about it in the hallway or let me hear about it from one of my superiors, you know, I
mean that's just not the way that I want to conduct business. sometimes that
works, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes that's just in a person's nature to act that
way and in that case you just have to move around them, you know, you, what I’ve
done many times, is just reflect in their performance that's there's a performance
issue, reflect in their inability to work as a team if that's an issue and then they'll
eventually decide that we're not working well together and move on. And I wish
them well, never speak badly about them, you know, because my, I always let
people know I have no reason to ruin your career over our ability to work together.”
The
END