Resolving conflicts

in Non-Violent
Ways
Jose Garcia Villa
• José Garcia Villa was born in Manila in 1908. He attended the
University of the Philippines, In 1929 he won a short story contest
through the Philippines Free Press and used the prize money to travel
to the United States, where he studied at the University of New
Mexico. José had a secret name when he wrote: “Doveglion.” It’s a
mix of three animals: a dove, an eagle, and a lion. Each animal
symbolized different parts of his creative spirit.
• Read them carefully and find out the problems encountered by the characters of the story
• Excerpt A 1 wil marry Teang," Dodong repeated. "I will marry Teang." His father kept gazing
at him in inflexible silence and Dodong fidgeted on his seat. "I asked her last night to marry
me and she said...yes. I want your permission. I... want... it...." There was impatient clamor in
his voice, an exacting protest at this coldness, this indifference. Dodong looked at his father
sourly. He cracked his knuckles one by one. and the little sounds it made broke dully the night
stillness. "Must you marry, Dodong?" Dodong resented his father's questions; his father
himself had married. Dodong made a quick impassioned easy in his mind about selfishness,
but later he got confused. "You are very young, Dodong." seventeen." "That's very young to
get married at." 1... I want to marry...Teang's good girl." "Tell your mother," his father said.
"You tell her, tatay." "Dodong, you tell your inay." "You tell her." "All right, Dodong." "You
will let me marry Teang?" "Son, if that is your wish... of course...„ There was a strange
helpless light in his father's eyes Dodong did not read it, too absorbed was he in himself.
Dodong was immensely glad he had asserted himself. He lost his resentment for his father.
For a while he even felt sorry for him
Excerpt B

Blas was not Dodong’s only child. Many more children

came. For six successive years, a new child came along. Dodong
did not want any more children. But they came. It seemed that
the coming of children could not helped. Dodong got angry with
himself sometimes.
Teang did not complain, but the bearing of children tolled on
her. She was shapeless and thin even if she was young. There
was interminable work that kept her tied up. Cooking,
laundering. The house. The children. She cried sometimes,
wishing she had no married. She did not tell Dodong this, not
wishing him to dislike her.
 Excerpt C

She accepted me tonight.

“Itay, you think its over.”
Dodong lay silent.
I loved Tona and… I want her.”
Dodong rose from his mat and told Blas to follow him. They descended to the yard where everything
was still and quiet.
The moonlight was cold and white.
“You want to marry Tona, Dodong said, although he did not want Blas to marry yet. Blas was very
young. The life that would follow marriage would be hard…
“Yes.”
“Must you marry?”
Blas’ voice was steeled with resentment. “I will mary Tona.”
“You have objection, Itay?” Blas asked acridly.
“Son… non…” But for Dodong, he do anything. Youth must triumph… now. Afterward… It will be
life.
As long ago, Youth and Love did triumph for Dodong… and then life.
Dodong looked wistfully at his young son in the moonlight. He felt extremely sad and sorry for him.
Give the problem depicted in the excerpts of
the story by filling out the graphic organizers
below then provide a great solution (5 points
each)

Possible
Problem Result
Solution
What are the types of conflict?
Internal conflict, called man vs. self, occurs when a character
experiences opposing emotions or desires simultaneously—good and
evil or vice and virtue, for instance. These conflicting desires force
the character to battle their own mind. Internal conflict frequently
occurs when a character struggles with mental illness or regrets
actions they committed in the past.

External conflict is when a character is engaged in a struggle with

forces outside themselves. There are five main types of external
conflict: man vs. man, man vs. nature, man vs. society, man vs.
technology, and man vs. the supernatural.
1. A feeling of displeasure R---ntm---

2. Having No End I--e-m---b-e

3. Note or reference f--t-o-e

4. To pass from a higher place to a lower one d--c--d

5. Full of yearning or desire w--t-ul

The Five Solutions to Conflicts

1. Getting Angry at Conflicts (Lose-Lose): This strategy involves reacting emotionally to conflicts
by becoming angry, frustrated, or hostile. It often leads to a lose-lose outcome because it escalates
the conflict, damages relationships, and rarely results in a satisfactory resolution for either party
involved. People who choose this approach may struggle to control their emotions and may resort
to aggression or passive-aggressive behavior, which can further exacerbate the situation.

2. Postponing Conflicts: Sometimes, individuals may choose to postpone addressing conflicts,

either because they feel overwhelmed, lack the necessary information, or hope that the issue will
resolve itself over time. While postponing conflicts can provide temporary relief, it often prolongs
the problem and may allow it to fester, potentially leading to even greater tensions later on. In
some cases, however, postponing conflict resolution may be strategic, such as when emotions are
running high and need time to cool down before engaging in a productive dialogue.
The Five Solutions to Conflicts

1. Getting Angry at Conflicts (Lose-Lose): This strategy involves reacting emotionally to conflicts
by becoming angry, frustrated, or hostile. It often leads to a lose-lose outcome because it escalates
the conflict, damages relationships, and rarely results in a satisfactory resolution for either party
involved. People who choose this approach may struggle to control their emotions and may resort
to aggression or passive-aggressive behavior, which can further exacerbate the situation.

2. Postponing Conflicts: Sometimes, individuals may choose to postpone addressing conflicts,

either because they feel overwhelmed, lack the necessary information, or hope that the issue will
resolve itself over time. While postponing conflicts can provide temporary relief, it often prolongs
the problem and may3. Giving
allowInit (Lose-Win): This strategy
to fester, potentially involves
leading one party
to even greater tensions later on. In
capitulating to the demands or desires of the other, resulting in a
some cases, however, postponing conflict resolution may be strategic, such as when emotions are
lose-win outcome. The individual who gives in may do so to
running high and need time to cool down before engaging in a productive dialogue.
avoid confrontation, maintain harmony, or because they perceive
the issue as less important than preserving the relationship.
While giving in can diffuse immediate tension, it may lead to
resentment or a sense of injustice over time, especially if one
party consistently yields to the other without addressing
underlying concerns or finding mutually beneficial solutions.
The Five Solutions to Conflicts

1. Getting Angry at Conflicts (Lose-Lose): This strategy involves reacting emotionally to conflicts
by becoming angry, frustrated, or hostile. It often leads to a lose-lose outcome because it escalates
4. Getting Help During Conflicts: Seeking assistance from a
the conflict, damages relationships, and rarely results in a satisfactory resolution for either party
neutral third party, such as a mediator, counselor, or trusted
involved. People who choose
advisor, canthis approach
be an effective may struggle
strategy to control
for resolving their This
conflicts. emotions and may resort
to aggression or passive-aggressive behavior,
approach acknowledges which
that the caninvolved
parties furthermay
exacerbate
need the situation.
outside support to facilitate communication, clarify
2. Postponing Conflicts: Sometimes, individuals
misunderstandings, may choose
and explore potential to postpone
solutions. addressing conflicts,
Mediation,
either because they for
feelexample,
overwhelmed, lack the necessary
allows conflicting information,
parties to express their or hope that the issue will
perspectives
resolve itself over time. in a structuredconflicts
While postponing environment while thetemporary
can provide mediator relief, it often prolongs
the problem and may helps guide
allow thefester,
it to conversation toward
potentially a mutually
leading agreeable
to even greater tensions later on. In
some cases, however, resolution. Getting
postponing help during
conflict conflicts
resolution may often promotes such as when emotions are
be strategic,
understanding, encourages empathy, and increases the likelihood
running high and need time to cool down before engaging in a productive dialogue.
of finding win-win outcomes.
The Five Solutions to Conflicts

Compromising
1. Getting Angry at5.Conflicts (Win-Win):
(Lose-Lose): Compromising
This strategy involves involves
reacting emotionally to conflicts
by becoming angry, both parties making
frustrated, concessions
or hostile. to reach
It often leads to a alose-lose
mutuallyoutcome because it escalates
acceptable
the conflict, damages resolution.
relationships, Unlikeresults
and rarely givinginin,a which may resolution for either party
satisfactory
involve
involved. People who one this
choose partyapproach
sacrificingmaytheir needstoorcontrol
struggle interests
their emotions and may resort
entirely, compromising
to aggression or passive-aggressive requires
behavior, whicha willingness
can further from both the situation.
exacerbate
sides to find common ground and negotiate a solution that
addresses
2. Postponing Conflicts: the concerns
Sometimes, of all parties
individuals involved.
may choose This
to postpone addressing conflicts,
either because theyapproach fosters cooperation,
feel overwhelmed, preserves information,
lack the necessary relationships,orandhope that the issue will
resolve itself overallows for a balanced
time. While postponing outcome where
conflicts can each party
provide gains relief, it often prolongs
temporary
the problem and maysomething
allow itwhile also potentially
to fester, making concessions.
leading to Compromising
even greater tensions later on. In
is often
some cases, however, viewed as
postponing a win-win
conflict strategy
resolution may because it promotes
be strategic, such as when emotions are
fairness,
running high and need timerespect,
to cool and
down collaboration in resolving
before engaging conflicts.dialogue.
in a productive
 Dodong as a son (15 points) Youth today

Differences Similarities Differences

1. What are the two types of conflicts? (2 points)

2. When do human beings encounter conflict ( 2 points)
3. What are the solutions of solving conflicts ( 10 points)
4. Why must conflict be solved(5 points)
5. In Your experience, How did you solve a conflict in a non violent way (5 points)
Given thy situation under think about thy conflict and resolve the conflict in a non violent way (5 points each)

1. You and your older sibling disagree on which tv channel to watch

2. Your Sibling often uses your personal belongings

3. You are not in favor of your sisters boyfriend

4. You do some class reporting and mispronounced some words. You

feel sorry and ashamed of youself for making such mistake

5. Your neighbors are throwing their garbage in your garden

Given thy situation under think about thy conflict and resolve the conflict in a non violent way (5 points each)