LIVING A FORGIVENESS LIFESTYLE

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13What Apostle Paul is advocating here is not reluctant and sporadic forgiveness but a generous and openhearted attitude to people who offend us as a reflection of the Father's attitude towards us in spite of the way we behave towards Him. Forgiveness is the foundation of our relationship with God, and His forgiveness stands securely on what Jesus did on the cross. He paid the debt of all the sin of all people for all time when He gave up His life as a sin offering for us. God requires a reciprocal attitude from us. Since He has already forgiven the sin of those who sin against us, we have no right to hold them guilty. To do so is to act illegally because we cannot demand payment for what had already been paid for. If we refuse to forgive another, we automatically cancel God's forgiveness of us. Now that is a scary thought! That means that we will experience separation from God and have to bear our own guilt. Not to forgive our fellow man for the trivial things he does against us is to misunderstand the greatness of the debt we incurred against God and the enormity of His mercy that provided a way of forgiveness at the cost of His own Son's life. Because we tend to focus on what the other person has done to us rather than on what we did to God, we hold on to our offenses instead of letting them go because we can. But there is something deeper to this issue of forgiveness. God forgave us through the death of Jesus to restore the unity between Him and us. When the relationships between humans remain fractured through offenses and forgiveness, life unravels, leaving in its wake chaos and destruction. Forgiveness is God's way of restoring unity with Himself and unity between people. When we forgive and reconcile, we contribute to the healing of our world. When we refuse to forgive, we fail to cooperate with God in His work of restoring everything to its original purpose of reflecting Him in the universe. We add to the destruction of our world. Since God has already cleared the debt of the one who sins against us, all that is required of us is to look the guilty person in the eyes and declare, "You owe me nothing." It's not about making excuses for their failure. It's about setting them free from their debt and restoring the unity that expresses who God is. And that is not only an act but a lifestyle. While there are important similarities between forgiveness and reconciliation, however there are some differences. Reconciliation entails the restoration of trust in a relationship that has been damaged. It is a major achievement. Both parties might not be involved in the resolution. Forgiveness is something that is granted by the person who has been wronged. It can be carried out alone or in interaction with the

offender. Forgiveness does not mean that reconciliation could or will occur. For example, a person may choose to forgive a former partner for a betrayal of trust that ended the relationship, but still choose not to reconcile. Forgiveness offers the person freedom from feelings of anger, bitterness and resentment. And it is very important to free ourselves from these feelings as they are what lead us into not living in fullness and wholeness. As stated, reconciliation does not necessarily mean that forgiveness has occurred or will occur. One or both individuals involved in a conflict may set the issue aside and act as though nothing happened. In other words, the disagreement or conflict can be separated from other areas of the relationship depending on the ability of the individuals in handling such a complex relationship. This method of setting aside conflict is one way to avoid potential fallout. And as the memory of the offence and hurt fades, the resentment is slowly abandoned as well. This is what is referred to as `time heals. Unfortunately, sometimes, the memory and pain can easily resurface by a similar offence from the original offender or by someone else. If this happens, resentment may increase and be out of proportion to the most recent offence. As a result, the failure to address and reconcile old hurts leaves one at much greater risk for future conflict, as well as the ongoing burden due to unresolved resentment. Thats why it is important that we consider adopting more of a `FORGIVENESS LIFESTYLE. HOW DO WE LIVE FORGIVENESS? The first step in living in forgiveness is recognizing and acknowledging that one has been deeply hurt and identifying ones deep feelings about having been wronged and hurt. Simply saying `I forgive you may do little to relieve the pain and resentment. It is important that the person recognize and let go of certain needs and/or desires that may never be fulfilled as a result of the offence. The losses suffered through the injury need to be accepted. This may entail a great deal of emotional and spiritual work; and a great amount of mental work is also required in shifting ones perspective of the offender. Much of this entails thinking things through to the point that one can separate the offender from the offence and develop empathy and compassion towards the offender without condoning the offence itself. Eventually, when you can form a new understanding of the situation, of oneself and the person who offended you, your perspective of forgiveness can become more realistic to you. Now, I want to be completely honest, it is still possible to slip back into the old pain and a state of `unforgiveness, so some situations require a process of forgiving again and again. And as Christian Ambassadors we are instructed to do this, we are instructed extend the same forgiveness that Christ has given us to those who have disappointed, offended and hurt us. The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us: Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13Forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive. If we reflect on how many times that we have confessed our misdeeds and sins to Him begging and asking for forgiveness and swearing we will never ever do whatever it is again. He

forgives us and wipes the slate clean while throwing our transgression into the sea of forgetfulness. And then he goes a step further and covers us with his blanket of love, compassion, grace and mercy. What more motivation do we need? Just remember that as we begin to live a FORGIVENESS LIFESTYLE," we will discover that this command is in place for our own good. we receive the reward of our forgivenessFREEDOM.

STEPS TO FORGIVENESS
I am a firm believer in putting information into action and I have shared below practical steps that you can take to Live a Forgiveness Lifestyle. 1. Decide You will never forgive if you wait until you feel like it. Choose to obey God and steadfastly resist the enemies attempts to poison you with bitter thoughts. Make a quality decision to forgive, and God will heal your wounded emotions in due time (see Matthew 6:12-14). 2. Depend You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It's too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you, but you must humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit!" His next instruction was about forgiving people. Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who've hurt you. 3. Obey The Word tells us several things we're to do concerning forgiving our enemies: Pray for those that abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (see Luke 6:2728). As you pray, God may reveal to them that there is an issue between you and them. They may not even be aware they hurt you, or maybe they're aware but are so self-centered that they don't care. Either way, they need revelation. Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). You can't walk in forgiveness and continue to speak of the offense. You must stop repeating the offense. You can't get over it if you continue to talk about it. 4. Seek Counsel - When struggling with forgiving others, talk with someone you respect and trust to give you wise counsel, such as your pastor or friend. Forgiving someone not only releases the hold theyve had on your life but also opens the door for God to heal the hurt they may have caused you. Try it todaychoosing to walk in forgiveness just might change your life!

Prayer
Lord Jesus, you are the source of all love and goodness. You have created me to love and be loved and you have given me my family, friends and loved ones to experience this love. Father You are a friend that never leaves us nor forsakes us. You know the motive of my heart while others may not and I ask that You guide me accordingly. Give me insight and wisdom regarding my relationships with those of the faith and those who are not. I come to you now humbly asking for healing as I suffer now because of a broken relationship and a broken heart. Grant me, Lord, the grace of true forgiveness, to let go of all my bitterness, anger and buried resentments and I ask that you help me to choose to forgive even if it hurts. Keep me from harboring a vengeful spirit or allowing bitterness and anger to root within my heart. I want to grow and mature in the ways that make me more like You. I also ask that you grant me the grace of humility to ask forgiveness, too, for my own mistakes and for patience and perseverance to keep on in this journey towards forgiveness despite the challenges and trials along the way. Lord, you know all things, you can do all things and you love me as you also love those that have hurt me. Touch my heart with your power that can heal all damaged relationships and bring peace with myself and others. Let all blaming ease and let each person see things from your point of view and through your eyes of love. Let your love break down all dividing walls and barriers, restore these damaged relationship and lead us to seek and follow your will and divine plan for our lives. Let joy rest in our hearts once again. Help us to do so as we pray in Jesus name. Amen.