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Age Jokes

Age Jokes

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Published by Kathy Abe

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Published by: Kathy Abe on Mar 13, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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06/18/2010

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Signs That You Are No Longer a Kid
 You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. Your back goes out more than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car. You are proud of your lawn mower. Your best friend is dating someone half their age ... and isn't breaking anylaws. You sing along with the elevator music. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. You make an appointment to see the dentist. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.Neighbors borrow *your* tools.People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?" You have a dream about prunes. You answer a question with, "because I said so" You send money to PBS. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. You take a metal detector to the beach.
 
 You wear black socks with sandals. You know what the word "equity" means. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. Your ears are hairier than your head. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You got cable for the weather channel. You can go bowling without drinking. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
 
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 7 when...1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mailaddresses.6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help youcarry in the groceries.7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60)years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :> )12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

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