Planet Nilknarf

September 2009
 Welcome to the September Issue of Planet Nilknarf
I hope everyone has had a good summer! September is CAROUSEL MONTH! For me
anyway! Then again, for me, EVERY month is carousel month! But especially September
because that's usually when I go to the NCA conventions, finances permitting. This year I am
going to Philadelphia, otherwise known as the City of Brotherly Love and Crappy Bus
Schedules. Yes, it's true. Buses from Toronto to Philadelphia have only two departure times:
Too Early in the Morning (6:30 a.m) or Too Late at Night (11:15 p.m) No Go bus could get me
out of Oshawa to get me to the Toronto Bus terminal that early in the morning and if I take the
late night bus I'm sitting in the Buffalo bus terminal from around midnight to 3:00 a.m. Might
as well wear a sign around my neck that says “Rape Me” while I'm at it. These are no places
for a woman to be traveling alone in the middle of the night and the Detroit terminal was bad
enough in broad daylight! My friend Richard says why don't I catch a bus to Philadelphia from
New York. Toronto has New York departures every hour or two and New York has Philly
departures just as often. The only problem with that is that it is already a 12-hour bus ride
from Toronto to New York to begin with, so it's still six of one and half a dozen of the other. My
eleven-hour journey to Sandusky back in May was basically my limit!

So I've had to beg mom for birthday money and fork out over $500 for air fare! At least there
are several convenient departure times in both directions so I chose takeoff at around 1:30
p.m which means landing at approximately 3:00 in both directions. That way I can take public
transit between the airport and Oshawa!!! I still, however, have to set aside shuttle bus money
to take me to and from my hotel when I'm in Philly.

Inquiring minds want to know why I don't take my husband on these trips. Truth be known,
he's just not interested in carousels! And besides, he could use a break from me. I'm not the
easiest person to live with! I'll be Richard's problem that week! Poor sucker doesn't know what
he's getting himself into! MWAH-HAH-HAH-HA!!!! Only kidding. Things shouldn't be too bad
as long as we respect each other's privacy and personal space and he understands my need
for downtime. I've been spoiled after so many years of having a room to myself on these trips.
But these rooms are more expensive so both Richard and I are glad to have someone to split
the cost with and we'll still have privacy because these rooms are suites; separate bedroom
and living room. He can have the bed while I bunk out on the folding couch. That way I won't
disturb him either if I want to get up early to use the pool, which opens at 6:00 every morning.
I am so looking forward to starting my mornings with a swim!

Our hotel is also next to a huge shopping mall which also has a carousel! I might go for a ride
on that the first night after registration, especially if anyone wants to go with me. I'll have a
room to myself the first night because I'm NOT missing the pre-convention tour! I've ALWAYS
wanted to go to Knoebel's Grove! It is the home of two unique carousels: a Kremer's frame
with mostly Carmel horses and a very rare 2-row Stein & Goldstein portable machine! S & G
are more well-known for their large park machines with horses that are almost life-sized. The
one at Central Park, New York is a prime example!

And best of all, I can look forward to using my new DIGITAL CAMERA!!! At the top of the
previous page, you can see the horses I appliquéd onto a piece of fabric for the BEST DOLL
DRESS EVER! I would like to thank Loet Vos for the piece of fabric and now I could kick
myself for not scanning it before I cut it! I knew it would be impossible to cut straight without
cutting parts off any of the horses so I cut the individual and pairs of horses out and appliquéd
them to the fabric, first using iron-on adhesive and then sparkley gold buttonhole stitching. I
then used my scanner for those images at the top of the previous page. And when I finished
the dress I used my new digital camera to take my doll's picture:

Mark and Janette's Excellent Adventure

In June, Mark and Janette took a holiday to North Bay. Highlights of this trip included the
Dionne Quintuplets Museum and the North Bay Heritage Carousel, a place I've been wanting
to visit for YEARS! Lucky they got to go. They sent me this beautiful postcard while they were
there:(left) and took plenty of the following pictures:
They were surprised and delighted to discover something I already knew but was surprised I
never mentioned to them that there are TWO carousels. Besides the North Bay Heritage
carousel, there is he smaller Winter Wonderland carousel with local wildlife menagerie figures
including an otter and a mythical hippocampus with the tail of a rainbow trout!

One thing I know for sure is if I ever do go to North Bay, I NEVER want to go to the
Quintuplets' museum! Nowadays you can't go anywhere there without a tour guide watching
your every move and you have to sit through this awful video that has a lot of the sounds of
them crying!

Upcoming Events:
The Canadian National Exhibition
August 21st until September 7th.

Family Fun Day

Kerry's Place Autism Services will be having a family picnic filled with FUN activities and a
BBQ on Thursday September 3, 2009 at Hayden Shores Park located at 589 Water Street.
The cost is $10 per family or individual if they want to come by themselves. It is from 12:00
until 3:00 pm. The registration deadline is September 1st. If you haven't registered please
contact Tiffany MacDonald by phone at (905) 579-2720 ext 25 or by e-mail at
tmacdonald@kerrysplace.org I will be selling my merchandise there including T-shirts,
carousel horse ornaments, dolls and Autism Awareness teddy bears.

National Carousel Association Annual Convention,

September 22nd until 27th, Philadelphia, PA. I've registered, bought my ticket and made my
hotel registration so I hope to be there and bring back plenty of wonderful photos and video
footage, as well as great stories and ideas!

Whitby Courthouse Theatre Presents Sweeny Todd

Thursday November 5th, Friday November 7th, Saturday November 8th
Thursday November 11th, Friday November 12th, Saturday November 13th
Thursday November 18th, Friday November 19th, Saturday November 20th
More details to follow.

New KISS Album Comes Out!!!

“Sonic Boom” will be released on October 6th! It will be a three-disc set consisting of one
disc of all new material which they claim to be their greatest album since “Destroyer”, one
greatest hits CD and a DVD of live concert footage in Argentina. Wal-Mart is accepting pre-
orders in September.

Take My Uterus, PLEASE!!!

One Woman's Journey through 57 ½ Days of Bloody Hell
Warning: Mature and graphic content. Reader Discretion Advised

It all started the day Michael Jackson died. Go figure. I hadn't heard the news yet, but my
friends Alan, Mark and I had enjoyed a busy and productive day at Kerry's Place, assembling
the first of many “Frequent Rider” passes to use at the opening of the Autism Awareness
Carousel. While we worked away happily, we actually happened to be talking about Michael
Jackson, not knowing that he was dead.

When I got home, I was exhausted and needed a nap. It wasn't long until my husband woke
me up to tell me that Alan was at the door with Aliya and Susan. They wanted to take me to
the mall to treat me to an ice cream. I didn't really want to go but dragged myself along,
reluctantly. I hate Oshawa Centre. It's always too noisy. Especially around the food court area.
And this time was no exception. I begged to sit outside where it was quiet, but my friends
wanted to be where it was air-conditioned. Even on a bench away from the food court, all the
noise was literally making me feel sick. I quickly wolfed down my Brownie Batter Blizzard
without really enjoying it and hurried home.

When I got home I headed straight for the bathroom where I was greeted by a huge,
unpleasant surprise all over the seat of my pants. That was the beginning of what ended up
being a total of EIGHT WEEKS of bleeding.

It was that night, June 25th, when I was sitting at my computer, one of my FaceBook friends
instant-messaged me with the news of Michael Jackson's death. Yadayaydayayda.

Anyway, the bleeding continued, so I made an appointment with my doctor and she managed
to squeeze me in for an appointment on Monday, July 27th, the day before my birthday. My
period had already put a bit of a damper on my husband and mine's wedding anniversary on
July 13th and now I was stuck with it on my birthday too, even though she had prescribed me
a 10 day supply of pills to make my period go away.

These were some kind of progesterone hormone pill. I read the enclosed literature from my
pharmacist. These pills serve two functions. They're supposed to A. make your period start if
you haven't had it in a long time or B. Make your period STOP if you've already had it too
long. HELLO!!??? It turned out my body did NOT know the difference so these fucking pills
did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING except give me the HEADACHES FROM HELL, each one
worse than the one before, especially down the right side of my head. I'd experience jolts of
even more excruciating pain if I bent over or made any sudden movements. The last
headache was the worst. I felt like the right side of my head was going to EXPLODE!!! It was
so bad I screamed and cried like a baby.

In fact I screamed and cried like a baby a lot during this time of tribulation. I bet the tenant
downstairs wanted to complain to the landlord and have me evicted!

I don't know what was worse during this season; the actual endless bleeding itself, or feeling
like God didn't care anymore. Lots of people were praying for me. I called 100 Huntley Street
several times and left several messages with Joyce Meyer's prayer line. I talked to as many of
my Christian friends as possible. But it felt like everybody's prayers were falling on deaf ears,
like God didn't even EXIST anymore. Even when I looked to the Bible for words of healing
and comfort, instead what I got were scriptures about patience and discipline!!!

I didn't even watch Joyce Meyer anymore because I was so sick of her catch phrases: “You
can be pitiful or powerful but you can't be both.” This ordeal was making me feel too
pitiful to be powerful.

Not to mention “The Robot”; “WHAT ABOUT ME-WHAT ABOUT ME-WHAT ABOUT ME...”
Well, what ABOUT Me? It felt like everyone else's prayers had been answered but mine, that I
was the only one without a success story. Even that story in the Bible about the woman who
had THIS SAME PROBLEM for TWELVE YEARS!!! Would I have to wait THAT LONG for MY
healing? By then I'd be wanting a HYSTERECTOMY!!! In fact I wanted one NOW!!! They
didn't have them in those days! In fact she was healed when Jesus was in town and she
pushed her way through the crowd and grabbed a hold of his garment. It felt like all the prayer
in the world wasn't enough. If only he really COULD be here in person so I could reach out
and touch him like that woman in the Bible. Then again, as my faith wore thinner every day I
was beginning to think what my ex-boyfriend Will would always say “How can you base your
faith on a bunch of stories that were written over two thousand years ago? How do you know
they were even REAL?”
And my mom was telling me she spoke to this cousin of mine who went through the same
thing for SIX WEEKS! She had an ultrasound and they told her she needed exploratory
surgery. She refused and it went away on its own.

As I finished my pills with no progress or change, I called my doctor's office again. “If the
bleeding doesn't stop over the weekend, just come in on Monday.” So I did. On Monday,
August 10th, I took the earliest train into the city and my doctor took a look inside me. “It looks
like it's almost over.” she said, but recommended I book an ultrasound. Meanwhile the
bleeding worsened again.

There was an ultrasound clinic downstairs in her building, but they were booked until the
following Tuesday. Besides, I'd be better off with a place closer to home, as I would soon find
out. The closest clinic listed on the form my doctor gave me was in PICKERING!!! HELLO!!??

Fortunately, my husband mentioned that he'd had plenty of ultrasounds right here in Oshawa,
so there had to be a clinic that would take me much closer to home. I phoned the hospital.
Their ultrasound clinic was booked for MONTHS, but they referred me the Glazer Clinic
where I was lucky to get an appointment that Friday!

Usually I hate the Glazier clinic because usually on any given time I've been there there's
usually been at least one or two screaming babies. But then again it's usually been quiet on a
Friday anyway, and I was happy that it was quiet on this particular day. I brought my
embroidery to work on while I sat in the waiting room, my stomach gurgling from having to
down two full water bottles (the equivalent of at least five or six glasses). I was working on
one of my “Ewetopia” sheep designs on a long-sleeved, light-blue children's T-shirt when a
kindly woman with a foreign accent led me to a small, dimly-lit room.

I didn't have to undress just yet, just pull my skirt down. But I wanted to go to the washroom
first even if I was NOT going to pee but change my tampon, which I could feel leaking. The
pressure of my full bladder combined with her poking around made the leaking even worse. I
wished someone had told me to bring a change of clothing because when I got up from the
table, the back of my denim skirt was badly stained and my underwear was totally ruined. At
least I had the common sense to bring a change of underwear. Dearest readers, if you are
ever faced with a similar situation, (and I PRAY this NEVER happens to you as it is a fate I
wouldn't even wish on my WORST ENEMY) PLEASE don't forget to BRING A CHANGE OF
CLOTHING!!!

I washed my denim skirt under the bathroom tap with liquid soap from the pump and returned
for the vaginal probe part of my ultrasound which was actually the lesser of two evils. I
watched as she unwrapped a disposable probe. I'd had a similar probe done at this
gynecology clinic in Toronto back in 2001 and back then they used one that they slipped a
condom onto. For some reason that struck me funny. Sex with killer robots anyone?

Anyway, once she was finished, she told me to just call my doctor. That was it? When I called
my doctor's office I was told it would take at least a WEEK to get results. A WEEK!!? A person
could be DEAD by then? I wanted my hysterectomy as soon as possible. I was positive the
bleeding would never stop and that would be the only solution. Why so long? Well, the
pictures have to be sent back and forth through a regular Rube Goldberg of radiologists and
technicians before it finally gets to my doctor's office. HELLO???!!! I'm going to
PHILADELPHIA AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER! I DON'T WANT TO BE BLEEDING LIKE A
STUCK PIG ON MY TRIP!! Eleanor assured me at the time that this mess would be sorted
out by then.

However, the bleeding had worsened since my ultrasound and my heart sank every morning
with the removal yet another saturated tampon!

I bristled at the annoying commercials for feminine hygiene products with their annoying
names and slogans. “ALWAYS INFINITY”! They named it after me! You can't get much more
ironic than that. “ONE WEEK, ONCE A MONTH” is enough!!! And at the end they say “Have a
happy period!” How can you have a “happy” period when it has lasted close to SEVEN
WEEKS at this point.

What really gets me are those Playtex Pearl Tampon commercials with Mother Nature and
her monthly gifts. Since her gifts to me were more than monthly, here's what I wanted to do to
HER!!!

And to top it off, when I called my doctor's office again, to ask for progress on my ultrasound,
they told me I'd have to wait SIX MONTHS for a hysterectomy! SIX MONTHS??!! HELLO?! A
person could be DEAD by then. Even if I COULD get it tomorrow, I was told it would still take
EIGHT WEEKS to recover!!! “Fine,” I sighed, exasperated, “I'll enjoy my trip to Philly while
bleeding like a stuck pig.”

On Thursday, August 20th I was on the phone with my mom, expressing my frustration. She
accused me of being self-centered. At that point I totally lost it! I started screaming and hung
up on her! I was so angry, upset and frustrated I even started beating my belly, hitting myself
with a hairbrush until I was quite bruised while I screamed and screamed. I couldn't take it
anymore! I wanted to die! If I couldn't get a hysterectomy or if I could and wouldn't be able to
heal in time for my trip I would probably end up in the hospital anyway with a nervous
breakdown. I was hysterical!! I thought I'd never stop screaming.
By the time I finally stopped screaming I was quite dizzy and exhausted. Mom tried to phone
me back but I just ignored the phone. But she kept calling until I finally answered. “Self-
centered bitch here,. May I help you?” I forget what our conversation was. All I knew was that
I was at rock bottom and I couldn't take it anymore. If God wasn't going to heal me, I just
wanted to die. These had been the eight longest weeks of my life. In fact they felt more like
eight YEARS!!! Often I found myself asking what had I done to deserve this? I probably didn't
DESERVE to be healed because my attitude sucked. I'd been yelling, crying and screaming a
lot during this time period and swearing so much that washing my mouth out with soap
wouldn't be enough! I should be GARGLING WITH TOILET BOWL CLEANER!!!!

“Praise and be Raised, Complain and Remain.” That was another one of Joyce Meyer's catch
phrases that at that tie made me want to hurl. I found it IMPOSSIBLE to praise Him these
days! What had He done for me lately? And what were these people praying about? Were
they really praying for my healing or did they just want me to have PATIENCE!!??

At least Janette and I got into a good conversation, remembering how God got us through
difficult times before. We survived our season of poverty when we first moved to Toronto and
those unscrupulous talent agents scammed us out of every cent we had. Janette recovered
from pneumonia that spring even though the devil had been working through her dad and
stepmother, blinding them to her condition.

I no longer work for Maggie and I DID get out of Ruth's basement apartment despite her
repeated plans to sabotage my house-hunting efforts. Butthead is out of my life and I am
married to a wonderful man I do not really deserve!

And in November of 2006 there were those two weeks I was in the hospital with my bipolar
episode. That was a scary time for me, not knowing what was wrong with me or how long I'd
be there, plus I was frustrated with having to miss my friend Jan's big birthday party in Orillia.

Thursday August 20th was the first morning I did NOT wake up with a saturated tampon, but I
did have several unpleasant gushes. “Complain and Remain, Praise and Be Raised”. At
that point I still couldn't quite praise God but I'd at least made progress. I wasn't complaining
anymore. I'd just decided to humbly and reluctantly accept my condition and learn to live with
it for the rest of my life or until I get a hysterectomy six months later. I was like “Fine God, be
that way!” I figured that I'd be just like that woman in the Bible for at least six months, that
surgery was probably my only option. The only words of reassurance I got from my doctor's
office were “GO to the hospital if the bleeding gets any worse!”

But then on Friday morning, there was a little bit of brown on the tip and I'm happy and
relieved to say it's been gone ever since.

Why do I tell you this story full of gory details? Because there are other people in the same
situation as myself who have experienced this agony. Because I can tell them it WILL end. It
finally DID end for me! I never thought it WOULD but it did. 56 ½ DAYS were more than
enough! And now I'm finally free. I am so happy and relieved. I still don't quite have the
energy to do a happy dance just yet but it'll happen eventually.

I've had to miss the CNE this year because even if I am all better now, I've had to spend so
much money on transportation to and from my doctor's office that what little I have left I'm
saving for my trip to Philly for transportation to and from the airport and whatever meals aren't
included in my tour package.

I guess this is the latest in seasons of tribulations I've survived in my lifetime. The important
thing is that God finally proved Himself faithful after all. Perhaps another time I'll share my
stories about our early days in Toronto or my stay in the hospital. The important thing is that
I've survived and it's over.

Autism Awareness Carousel Update

News has been kind of slow this month, but at least we have two more entries in our contest,
Ethan MacDonald's horse on the left and Mackenzie MacDonald's horse on the right:

They tried to introduce my idea at camp, but the kids just weren't interested in participating. It
makes me wonder what kind of sad and sick world this has become when kids just don't care
about the promise of free merry-go-round rides anymore. If such a contest had been made
available to me when I was a kid, I would have just JUMPED at the chance! In fact, this
contest isn't even just for kids. All ages are welcome to join and you don't even need to
decorate the templates I provide. Animals created from your own imagination are perfectly
welcome.

We had our last meeting on Thursday, August 13th. Present were Tiffany MacDonald, Alan
Burns, Mark LaFlamme and myself. Our next meeting will be Wednesday, September 16th. I
am hoping Cecily from Wind Reach Farm will be able to attend this time. She was invited to
attend this meeting but had another one she had to attend at the Farm. And you do NOT say
“no” to the Board of Directors.

I still have a ton of paperwork to fill out as I am in the process of applying for a grant from the
Trillium Foundation. This has to be completed by November so I am hoping that well before
then I will have found someone who can take the time to sit down with me and help me
answer a lot of the crazy questions on all these forms!!! Meanwhile, here is yet another page
to decorate for the “Design Your Own Carousel Horse” contest:
 Official Newsflash!!!!!
KISS is coming to Oshawa after all!!! You've probably heard it by now anyway, unless you've
been hiding under a rock....!!

Fans were outraged and appalled on August 25th (which also happens to be Gene's birthday,
BTW ;)) when they went to the official website and read the tour schedule only to notice that
Oshawa was conspicuously LEFT OFF THE LIST!!! “HELLO!!??? WTF IS THE MEANING
OF THIS!!??”must have been the unanimous cry of thousands of KISS fans I Oshawa. At
least they were playing in Toronto. But OSHAWA WAS NUMBER ONE on the list of places for
KISS to play on their upcoming tour.

Fortunately, Gene appeared on the news the next day to apologize for the misunderstanding
and set the record straight. The reason Oshawa was left off the list was because KISS had an
extra special surprise for us KISS fans in Oshawa. They wanted their concert here to coincide
with the release of the new album and they will be playing at the GM Centre on October 7th.
Ticket sales details have yet to be released but kudos go to Shaun Shane, Oshawa's biggest
KISS fan for spearheading this project in the first place and to Oshawa's Mayor John Grey
who happens to be a big KISS fan too. To top it off, my hubby and his co-workers were shown
on the news because Shaun happens to work at Lear.

Personally, I'm glad that the concert happens to be on a WEDNESDAY night because my
rehearsal schedule for Sweeny Todd is usually Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Go figure!
It's like they KNEW! And even if they didn't come to Oshawa and I'd have to schlep my royal
keester to Toronto to see them, that show is on a Friday!!!

I want to wear KISS makeup to the show but there's nowhere to buy it around here. Perhaps
when I go to Toronto for my next doctor's appointment I'll look for a place where I can buy the
stuff. Back when I lived there I used to frequent a place called Costume Witch, where I'd buy
my makeup in tubes which I applied with a brush. I bought my KISS makeup there and I also
bought my stage makeup which was basically modified KISS makeup anyway, like Paul only
with a blue star. Costume Witch still exists but they don't seem to have a store anymore.
Here's their website:http://www.costumewitch.com/index.html

I might phone them to find out if it's still possible to get makeup from them. My stage persona
was a cross between KISS and KIDEO, however, my blue wig came from a place called
McCullough's in Scarborough. McCullough's is actually the same place where KIDEO got
their wigs and masks. I remember asking the shopkeepers if they ever saw KIDEO without
their masks and makeup but they said they sent their manager to buy all that stuff for them!

Nice to know that this place still exists too even though it's quite a distance:
http://www.mccullochs.on.ca/

Looking up all these old places that were so special to me back in those days is making me
feel kind of nostalgic (sniff!)

Ewetopia