The Wandering Harlot Table

The First Edition

Dungeon Master Guide

contained asubtable on page 192 of what sorts of harlot a partymight encounter in a city. Unfortunately, this tableproved far too limited for the much wider variety ofprofessional entertainers available in the MutantFuture, and therefore the present author hasexpanded it. This table is intended for the author'ssetting of Vega$, but will work for any fairlycosmopolitan wretched hive of scum and villainy.It builds on the

DMG

subtable, but if you don't havethat, just remember phrases like “slovenly trull”,“wanton wench”, and “brazen strumpet,” and you'llbe ne: plug in your own values on Subtable A andgo to town.Notes: in the “Gender” entry, “H” means“Hermaphroditic” (at least one of each gender'sgenitals), and “N” means “Neuter” or “Not Applicable”, meaning no genitalia at all, or areproductive system bafingly foreign to humanconcepts of sexuality. For a hermaphroditic plant, rollonce on each of subtables E and F.In the “Clientele” entry, “MF” means the harlot willtransact business with males or females, but neitherneuter nor hermaphroditic characters. A negativeprice is a possibility in one entry: the harlot willactually pay the character to be allowed to renderservice.Mutated Animals and Humans should proceed toMutation Subtable P after the harlot subtable typehas been determined. Mutated Animals should rollon Mutation Subtable Q to determine the base animaltype.Harlots are quite likely to attempt to rob theircustomers, and are perhaps even more likely to carryvile diseases, with a probability more or less inverselyproportional to their price.

Wandering Harlot Tabled100Type/Gender/Clientele/Subtable

01-08Pure Human / F / MF / A 09-13Pure Human / F / M / A 14Pure Human / F / Any / A 15-17Pure Human / M / M / B18-20Pure Human / M / Any / B21-53Mutated Human / F / MF / A 54-58Mutated Human / F / Any / A 59-61Mutated Human / M / Any / B62Mutated Human / H / Any / C63Mutated Human / N / Any / D64-71Mutated Animal / F / MF / A 72-75Mutated Animal / F / Any / A 76-78Mutated Animal / M / Any / B79Mutated Animal / H / Any / C80Mutated Animal / N / Any / D81Mutated Plant / F / Any / E82Mutated Plant / M / Any / F83Mutated Plant / H / Any / E+F84-88Mutated Plant / N / Any / G89-92Android / F / Any / H93-94Android / M / Any / I95Android / N / Any / J96Sapient Monster / F / Any / K97Sapient Monster / M / Any / L98Sapient Monster / H / Any / M99Sapient Monster / N / Any / N00Other / - / - / O

Wandering Harlot Subtable A - Femaled100type Price (gp)

01-10from subtable in AD&D 1E

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, 1921d1011-25“4d626-35“1d436-50“3d851-65“2d866-75“5d476-85“1d100 + 5086-90“1d6x10091-92“d10093-94“freebie95-9786ed Bary3d699Nun1099Party Member's Sister (if possible)8d800Party Member's Mom (if possible)1d3

Wandering Harlot Subtable B - Maled100TypePrice (gp)

01-11Busted Gambler4d412-16Hopeless Crackhead1d217-79Republican Politician1d3-280-89Televangelist4d890-92Flamboyant Queen10d693-95Unctuous Gigolo3d2096-97Drunk, Curious Fratboy2d1298Priest1099Party Member's Brother (if possible)2d600Party Member's Dad (if possible) 1d4

Wandering Harlot Subtable C - Hermaphroditicd100TypePrice (gp)

01-25Big-titted Chick-with-dick (hottish)10d426-84Slender ladyboy (hottish)4d2085-91Bearded Lady1d1092-98Mid-op-Obese-Transsexual (not hot)1d899Siamese Twins, one of each gender 1d10000Ancient Tiresias1d4

Wandering Harlot Subtable D - Neuterd100TypePrice (gp)

01-25Simpering Eunuch6d426-52Androgynous Bowie Clone10d1053-79“Pat”1d680-97Angelic-voiced Soprano Castrato10d898-00Horric Chainsaw Accident1d2

Wandering Harlot Subtable E – Female Plantd100Genital ResemblancePrice (gp)

01-25Venus Flytrap3d826-40Georgia O'Keefe Flower10d1041-45Box Elder2d646-55Pussy Willow4d856-62Yew Bush1d1063-70Slippery Elm5d471-79Splintery Knothole1d480-89Fleshy Pitcher Plant10d8

90-94Melon with Hole8d695-00Trumpet-shaped owers4d6

Wandering Harlot Subtable F – Male Plantd100Genital ResemblancePrice (gp)

01-10

Amorphophallus Titanum

10d611-15Fuck Yew1d1016-45Prickly Cactus2d846-55Mangrove roots3d455-63Cucumber1d664-69Cucumber (waxed)4d670-73Humorously-shaped gourd2d874-79Lodgepole pine2d480-87Fleshy Fungoid2d1288-93Maize2d694-00Fiddlehead Fern3d6

Wandering Harlot Subtable G – Neuter Plantd100ResemblancePrice(gp)

01-10Oak1d611-23Pine1d424-39Honeysuckle2d840-47Poplar2d448-59Hibiscus1d1060-63Redwood1d2064-72Puffball10d1073-77Chili Pepper4d878-82Mulberry2d483-88Dandelion1d889-92Pokeweed1d493Ragweed1d294Baobob7d695Mother-In-Law's Tongue5d896Monkey Puzzle2d697Peyote Cactus4d10098Banyan3d899Rosebush10d400Lamb's Ear3d8

Wandering Harlot Subtable H – Female Androidd100TypePrice (gp)

01-10Sultry French Maidbot8d611-25Brazen Strumpetbot3d426-32Solvent-addled Slutbot2d233-37Robostewardess on day off4d1038-49Saucy Tartbot3d650-55Luscious Femmebot12d2056-62Demure Geishabot4d2063-68Badly Confused Warbot1d869-77Sleazy dude in silver paint/fake boobs1d478-87Psycho Hosebot3d1288-91RealDoll Mk. XVIII2d10092-96Ghetto Hobot4d397Depraved Nunbot1098

Really

broken Slot Machine199Unemployed Vacuumbot2d400Wanton Wenchbot1d10

Wandering Harlot Subtable I – Male Androidd100TypePrice (gp)

01-08Hairy Bearbot6d409-22Laid-off Bending Robot1d623-44BoyToy 30007d645HolmesBot 12-incher1d20+3047-68Ubiquitous RonJeremyBot1d469J. Edgar Hoovertron DX5d670-72Hobo in cardboard robot suit3d473-79Industrial Painting Robot in new career1d680-85Robot from

Moonwalker

video game4d486-90Navybot on shore leave1d891Peter Northbot3d1092-96Tin Woodsman3d897Chatterly GardenerBot4d1098CNC Drill Press on the lam1d1099Protocol Droid/Astromech double-team6d1200Dirty PriestBot10

Wandering Harlot Subtable J – Neuter Androidd100TypePrice (gp)

01-10Toaster1d411-25Refrigerator3d426-32Juicer2d233-37Blender4d438-49Rice Cooker3d250-55Microwave Oven3d456-62StenographerBot1d863-68Automated Taxicab4d4+4/mile69-77Suicide Booth1d1078-87Washing Machine3d688-93GardenerBot (ungendered)2d294-97DentistBot3d3981963 Volkswagen Bug with insane AI1d899Locomotive3d1000Tankbot4d20

Wandering Harlot Subtable K – Female Sapient Monsterd8TypePrice (gp)

1Brain Lasher2d122Eye Bitch2d63 Humanoid Mass3d84Medusoid2d105Pod Plant2d86Sky Ray2d207Walking Dead3d38Xeno Cow2d8

Wandering Harlot Subtable L – Male Sapient Monsterd100TypePrice (gp)

01Brain Lasher2d1202Eye Dog2d603Humanoid Mass3d804Pod Plant2d605Pumpkin Man2d806Sky Ray2d2007-98Spidergoat1d399Walking Dead3d300Xeno Bull3d20

Wandering Harlot Subtable M – Hermaphroditic SapientMonsterd4TypePrice (gp)

1Fungoid4d62Humanoid Mass8d83The Irradiated1d64Kamata4d4

Wandering Harlot Subtable N – Neuter Sapient Monsterd10TypePrice (gp)

1Carcass Scavenger1d32Burrow Tuber1d33Fungoid4d64Gamma Wyrm8d105Humanoid Mass1d86Insectoid Eye2d87The Irradiated1d68Narcolep4d89Stalker Plant1d610Walking Dead1d2