Planet Nilknarf April 2014

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!!!!

Greetings from Planet Nilknarf

It is with great sadness, sorrow, regret and remorse that I must inform my dear readers that this is the LAST issue of Planet Nilknarf. That's right. We've had some wonderful times over the years, some ama ing adventures, !ut I'm afraid I must now tearfully say good!ye forever" I have !een e#tremely !usy with s$hool and my heart hasn't !een into doing these newsletters anymore. I never have time to read for my !ook reviews and I've !een all out of ideas for my $artoons. Not only that !ut I'm afraid that we've had to file for !ankru%t$y whi$h means I $an't afford to go on any more of my ama ing tri%s that I usually take every year. I guess we won't !e going to New &ork this year after all. 's%e$ially sin$e I now have a full(time )o! at Tim *orton's. I really don't like it and I am ama ed I've lasted this long without having a meltdown and storming out. *alf the time I want to $url u% under the $ounter with my fingers in my ears !ut I manage to %ut on a !rave fa$e even though I am e#hausted when I get home. At least most of the $ustomers are %retty ni$e. Not only that !ut in a few months I will !e moving to Australia for a!out si# months, all(e#%ense %aid. +y name made it onto a list to a$$e%t a %osition as a %rofessional !logger. I should !e e#$ited !ut to !e honest I am really feeling kind of sad even though everything will !e %rovided for me in$luding a la%to%. ,e$ause I will !e !logging a!out life down under and my la%to% system will %ro!a!ly !e very mu$h different $om%ared to what I am used to, I will !e una!le to %rodu$e anymore issues of Planet Nilknarf. At least when I'm there I'll get to see and ho%efully have a ride on the Sema%hore $arousel, !ut most of the time I will !e working in $onstru$tion !uilding homes for the homeless. When I found out I would !e doing all this %art of me was disa%%ointed !e$ause it means I won't !e a!le to do my ,ig Art Show in ,o!$aygeon after all. I've !een looking forward to and %lanning this ever sin$e the LAST one in -e$em!er ./0.12anuary ./03 ended with more e#$iting %ro)e$ts than ever. 4oing away means I won't see my hus!and for at least si# months nor will I see 2anette or anyone else I know around here. I should !e e#$ited a!out all the new friends I'm going to make while I'm hel%ing !uild houses and !logging a!out it. Something had to give. It was no use %ursuing the 56arousel of 7riendshi%8 %ro)e$t anymore. No!ody is interested in hel%ing me and the few $ommittee mem!ers I do have have too mu$h else going on in their lives these days. It's !een im%ossi!le to s$hedule meetings, es%e$ially when Allan has !een si$k and my own hus!and has !een ill too. -ave will !e well !y the time I leave for Australia !ut in the meantime I have !een )uggling my )o! and doing things like gro$ery sho%%ing as well as trying to get this %la$e $leaned u% so we don't get thrown out. To to% it off it looks like I may !e needing surgery again. The Period 7rom *ell is !a$k and it's !een raging on for the last month"" I don't think I $an take this anymore. This is so frustrating. I've 9uietly ke%t it to myself all this time !ut it affe$ts everything I do and makes me so tired. No wonder we are struggling finan$ially. Again with going through an entire !o# of tam%ons every day and !eing so darned tired all the time"" I ho%e this sto%s !efore I go to Australia. I would not want to !e on a 0.(hour flight with this""" I'm not %arti$ularly looking forward to this 0.(hour flight %eriod. No %un intended. What have I gotten myself into: Why am I doing this:

BAZINGA!
A%ril 7ool""" &ou ;N'W this $ouldn't !e the LAST issue" Why would I 9uit now: The Art Show IS going to ha%%en and 2anette and I A<' going to New &ork in Se%tem!er. In the meantime I $ouldn't resist" I )ust *A- to get another tattoo"""

=n$e again BAZINGA!!! This is S= N=T my !ody and I will N'>'< look like this"" Anyone who thinks I CAN is 7?6;IN4 N?TS so don't even think a!out offering me ins%irational motivational advi$e or I'll )ust sla% you with a T<=?T""" I've !een there often enough to know that my weight is a lost $ause unless I suddenly stum!le a$ross some great mira$le no one else has even heard of !efore""" ,esides, even if I -I- look like this I dou!t that I'd get a tattoo T*'<'" I am WAAAAA& T== TI6;LIS*"""" It's !ad enough when a dan$e %artner has to try to %ut his hand on my waist"""

Detroit o!k "it#

In the midst of the ,ig 6leanu% that has !een going on these days I have !een e$stati$ to dis$over some long(lost treasures that I never thought I'd see again. In this $ase %hotos. ,ut not )ust AN& %hotos. These are the %i$tures that were taken when I was an e#tra on the set of Detroit Rock City!! ?nless we are friends on 7a$e!ook, you %ro!a!ly haven't seen these !efore" ?ntil I found them among all the $lutter on my old !ooks shelf in the hall I had seriously thought I forgot them at the theatre !a$k in .//@ when I was on the set of Hello Dolly!

*ere are various assorted %i$tures of me with various assorted ;ISS lookalikes"" &es, I am the one in the $olourful )a$ket and the em!roidered ;ISS )eans and I still have !oth. The )eans are still somewhere in my $loset. Sadly they haven't fit me in years and as long as I have to !e on my meds %ro!a!ly never will again. The $oat I still wear although it's $onsidera!ly faded and $overed with %at$hes"" The one in the lower left where I am wearing my !lue lum!er )a$ket was taken the first night when we were near the St. Lawren$e +arket area. There was the !ig s$ene in front of the $hur$h where the +AT+=; A+others Against the +usi$ of ;ISSB women were %rotesting. Paul Stanley's wife was a$tually among the %rotesters. ?nfortunately, most of the dialogue in that s$ene had !een edited out. Too !ad !e$ause she had some hilarious lines in$luding saying that Paul was 5flaunting his se#uality like some WANT=N *=T-=4 >'N-=<"""8 Now there's a mental image that will haunt my

mind forever" *a(ha(ha""" Perha%s the !est thing a!out this e#%erien$e is that we got to see ;ISS u% $lose for 7<'' at *amilton's 6o%%s 6oliseum where they filled the $on$ert footage at the end of the show. I got some %retty awesome %hotos"

And I got 4ene Simmons to autogra%h my ;ISS )eans"" It meant having to take them off though, so I $ould hand them on stage to him. No se#y lingerie for me, though. +y fellow ;ISS fans had to $ringe at the sight of me in my mutandi de nonna!!! A=ne of the few words of Italian I know"B Another highlight of !eing %art of this e#%erien$e was $at$hing an AalmostB em%ty 6oke $an that A$e 7rehley had a$tually drank from" There was even a tra$e of his !la$k li%sti$k on the straw !ut unfortunately it ru!!ed off when I took the last si% from that $an. To this day I still have that $an. It may look like an ordinary %o% $an, !ut to me it will always !e s%e$ial !e$ause I was there to $at$h it and saw it with my own eyes so I know for a fa$t that this is the $an that A$e 7rehley drank from"" I think some 5S%a$e A$e +agi$8 ru!!ed off on me in the %ro$ess !e$ause ever sin$e then, even though I'm usually 4ene, the times I've worn A$e 7rehley makeu% I've a$tually attra$ted some of the !est kisses"" ,ut that's a story for another time. +eanwhile, you $an see the rest of these %hotos hereC htt%sC11www.fa$e!ook.$om1media1set1: setDa.3E@.E03@F3EF.FF.0/E3E@0G@/.0////3GF300H30/Ity%eD0IlDef@dH$edH. And if you ever get a $han$e to see this movie you may a$tually get a $han$e to s%ot me in the $rowd wearing my $olourful $oat""" ,y the way, some of our $rowd s$enes were filmed at the 6N' 4randstand !efore it was demolished. &ou'd never know it from the film, !ut )ust off $amera they were %re%aring for the <oyal Winter 7air and there were stalls of $attle sitting there. They were very gentle and friendly and it was ni$e to kee% my hands warm stroking their soft, glossy $oats. They weren't afraid of my %ainted fa$e either. 7or all I know, with my !la$k(and(white markings, they %ro!a!ly thought I was )ust another *olstein in the *erd""" *a(ha(ha"""

Another $last From the Past% &'r First Niagara Trip

5L'T'S 4= T=+=<<=W""""8 I suddenly !lurted out. 2anette and I had )oined hands in %rayer with our landlady Lisa Lau, de!ating on when we should go to Niagara 7alls. It had !een a long and diffi$ult season for us, having )ust moved to Toronto in August of 0FF@ and finally getting our first )o!s in 2anuary. +oney was tight and 2anette had !attled %neumonia earlier that s%ring. We wanted a treat" we felt like we needed to get away, even if only for )ust the day. And when I said those words it was one of those 5'ureka +oments8 as we $alled them. 2ust like that time nearly a year ago, the morning of our <oseneath >ideo Shoot when we looked at ea$h other and e#$laimed 5L'T'S +=>' T= T=<=NT="8 ?% until then I had !een to Niagara !efore !ut wasn't overly thrilled with the idea !e$ause u% until then it had either !een on family tri%s or with my e#(!oyfriend, -arren, and in those days we almost N'>'< went where I wanted to go"" Niagara is full of ama ing attra$tions. I was 'JT<'+'L& lu$ky !a$k in 0FEG when I managed to get my dad to take me to the Skylon to ride the $arousel !e$ause it was !roken u% in au$tion !a$k in 0FGF and there was nothing !ut video games there when I went with -arren and his annoying 5it$hy trigger finger.8 Times !efore that when I went with my family, we took my $ousin Peter to the 7alls when I was si# years old, and we went to Tussaud's Wa# +useum, whi$h I !arely remem!er. The one thing I remem!er most a!out that tri% that I wanted to do more than AN&T*IN4 was 4= SWI++IN4""" Pools were '>'<&W*'<'"" ,ut they were stri$tly for the hotel guests"" And I was 'N>I=?S of them"" And then there was the time when I was in si#th grade I took the day off s$hool to go with my dad to !ring Aunt 2anny and ?n$le Ti)s to the 7alls. We drove all the way there )ust to look at the 7alls for

a!out ./ minutes and that was it. We )ust got !a$k in the $ar to drive all the way !a$k again. I was so disa%%ointed that that was all we did that day" And to add insult to in)ury we )ust *A- to %ass a 6A<NI>AL with a ,I4 ,'A?TI7?L +'<<&(4=(<=?N-" And we did N=T get to sto% T*'<'""" ,ut on that glorious 2une day in 0FFK I let 2anette !e my 5offi$ial tour guide8 and I've !een !itten !y the Niagara ,ug ever sin$e. &ou see, she had !een there on many family tri%s where she'd gotten to stay for several days and see all kinds of attra$tions. So she knew her way around and W' got to do and see what W' wanted to do and see"" And we sure managed to $ram a lot of a$tivity into that one glorious day" It feels like another lifetime. What else did we do that day !esides go u% the Skylon and wat$h the I+AJ movie: Now I remem!er. We also went u% the S%iral Tower. The S%iral Tower was also the first thing -ave and I did during our honeymoon !ut it doesn't e#ist anymore. It was torn down, along with -a le Land, to make room in more re$ent years for the Sky Wheel. -a le Land had a %retty little $arousel !ut it was )ust for $hildren. At least the Skylon now had a ni$e little Italian fi!erglass one we $ould a$tually ride"

The view from the Skylon and us u% there"

That first day tri% we took together was one of the ,'ST -A&S '>'< and the first of so many e#$ellent adventures we've had there sin$e then, in$luding, most re$ently, 2anette's K/th !irthday )ust a $ou%le months ago. So mu$h has ha%%ened over all those years"" And Niagara 7alls is always $hanging. There are always new attra$tions so in many ways it's never the same %la$e twi$e. &et there are still a lot of the same old attra$tions we like to revisit time and time again, su$h as the +aid of the +ist, =aks 4arden Theatre and the Skylon, and of $ourse, more re$ently the Sky Wheel. +ore of these %i$tures $an !e seen here on my 7a$e!ook a$$ountC htt%sC11www.fa$e!ook.$om1media1set1: setDa.3E@E.@0@H///HGH.0/E3E@0G@0.0////3GF300H30/Ity%eD0IlDdddE!F!H0!

()an Tortik% An &ld Norse Folk Tale

Today when I was $leaning my $loset I $ame a$ross an old sket$h !ook with some illustrations I did )ust for the fun of it over ./ years ago when I was still living in Lindsay" ,a$k when I was in Lindsay I on$e took a $lass in storytelling and one story in %arti$ular really $a%tured my imagination. So sit right !a$k and en)oy the tale of Ivon Tortik.....

=n$e u%on a time, may $enturies ago, a $hild was !orn in a village far away. *e was a!out as homely as a mud fen$e, with dra!, $olourless hair, a %ale, $halky $om%le#ion and eyes as %lain and dull as two rough %e!!les. *is mother $hristened him 5Ivon8 and %erformed the ritual herself !e$ause no one else wanted to !e !othered.

The kids in the neigh!ourhood would %oint at him and laugh. 5Ivon Tortik" Ivon Tortik"8 they would $hant, 5Tortik8 !eing an old Norse word for 5hun$h!a$k8. They didn't $are that he was an ama ing artist and there was nothing Ivon liked !etter than drawing on the walls with a sti$k of $har$oal.

When Ivon $ame of age, he thought he would seek a wife. And he found himself smitten with +arguerite, the daughter of the wealthy a%%le farmer, so he asked for her hand in matrimony.

&eah, right.8 she said, 5I'll marry you" When you are as handsome as the day is long and when your %o$kets are as full of gold as my father's trees are full of a%%les"8

6restfallen, Ivon left town to seek his fortune. It was late in the autumn and the nights were growing $older. As he walked along he met a wise farmer. 5*alloween is $oming soon.8 said the farmer. 5Wat$h out for the fairies"8 57airies:8 Ivon thought the farmer was strange. 5&es indeed,8 said the farmer. 5=n *alloween they get u% to all kinds of mis$hief, !ut if you $an tea$h them a lesson, they will ri$hly reward you.8

5I see.8 Ivon nodded, ske%ti$ally. 5Not only that, !ut if you kee% heading north you will $ome to a stone $ir$le. ,eneath one of these stones there is !uried treasure !eyond your wildest dreams. =n 6hristmas 've, the stones get u% and walk over to the river for a drink of water. &ou'll want to gra! as mu$h of it as you $an !efore they $ome !a$k and $rush you. Ivon thought the farmer was full of nonsense !ut he smiled and nodded %olitely and $ontinued along his way. Lo and !ehold, *alloween night $ame along. =!livious to the %assing of time, having totally forgotten what night it was, Ivan Tortik fell aslee% in the woods. *e was awakened !y singingC Monday Tuesday, Monday Tuesday,Monday Tuesday, Wednesday!

Sure enough, it was the fairies" Ivon Tortik $ould not !elieve his eyes and thought he was dreaming at first. 5It must have !een those wild mushrooms I ate for su%%er last night.8 he yawned and mum!led to himself and tried to go !a$k to slee%, !ut the singing $ontinued as the fairies, with skin like %ar$hment

and hair as !la$k as ink, fluttered their wings in his fa$e and flew around him in $ir$les. Monday Tuesday, Monday Tuesday,Monday Tuesday, Wednesday! they $ontinued to sing as he rose from the ground where he'd !een slee%ing and let them take him !y the hands.

After several more rounds of this Ivon interru%ted them. 5There are more words to this song"8 he said to them. Thursday, Friday, Thursday, Friday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday! The fairies were thrilled" They $ontinued to dan$e and sing throughout the night with Ivon until he started to !e$ome very slee%y. 5We would like to reward you for tea$hing us this new verse.8 they said 5What would you like more than anything:8 Ivon knew that fairy gifts of silver and gold usually faded away so he said 52ust make me as handsome as the day is long. Soon Ivan drifted off into a %ea$eful slum!er and their magi$ worked its way as he sle%t.

When Ivon awoke he looked at his refle$tion in the river and $ould not !elieve his eyes" They were as !lue as sa%%hires, his hair as !la$k as the wings of a raven and his !a$k as tall and straight as a %ine tree" If only +arguerite $ould see him now"

,ut he still had one more matter to settle so he $ontinued his )ourney north to the 6ir$le of Stones. ,y then it was finally 6hristmas 've. Now that Ivon knew that the 7armer's words were true, he followed some strange instin$t that led him to draw a Nativity S$ene on one of these stones.

As it got darker out, the rest of the stones trundled off to the river. -a ed !y the light of the 6hristmas Star, the stone Ivan had drawn u%on to%%led over to reveal a magnifi$ent %ile of treasure. There was more gold and )ewels that Ivon had ever seen in his life" Now he $ould easily fill his %o$kets with even more gold than +arguerite's father had a%%les in his or$hard"

Ivon gra!!ed as mu$h treasure as he $ould $arry and hurried away !efore the stones $ould return to their rightful %ositions.

Ivon returned home to ask for +arguerite's hand in marriage.

With a kiss, she a$$e%ted his %ro%osal.

*owever, whether or not they a$tually did live ha%%ily ever after is hugely de!ata!le if you ask me"" LB

1* Things +ighl# "reati)e People Do Differentl#%

I thought this link worthwhile for sharingC htt%C11www.huffington%ost.$om1./0@1/31/@1$reativity(ha!itsMnM@GKFEHF.html

Ne, "aro'sel in GTA

Well, here it is, the news I've !een waiting for... htt%C11ur!antoronto.$a1news1./0@1/31folk(art($arousel(add(whimsy(downtown(markham No offense !ut I'm really kind of disa%%ointed. This is )ust my o%inion. So it's 9uirky and uni9ue !ut it )ust isn't my style. ,esides it looks to !e a !it on the small side. 2ust as well. I still like my own idea !etter even if it doesn't e#ist yet. And now the offi$ial video I've $ome to rely on as my offi$ial sound test to make sure my s%eakers are %lugged in and working %ro%erlyLLL htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDwNNEo7;s; & And while we are on the su!)e$t of $arousels, I would like to share this video <i$hard %osted of an unusual horse ride in India..." htt%sC11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDJ'.6wNOy!lA Whi$h !rings me to the ne#t su!)e$tC

"aro'sel of the -onth

This month's $arousel is the ./00 6arousel Works 'ndangered S%e$ies $arousel at the ;ansas 6ity Noo in ;ansas 6ity, +=. We visited early in the morning !efore it was o%en to the rest of the general %u!li$. *ere is some video footage I took of that $arouselC htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDS.nv)w!)K>'

<ight ne#t door to the $arousel was another one of my favorite things..."" This aviary full of adora!le rain!ow lorikeets""" htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDg7=t%hh%0?' And while I was there I was looking at theseC htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDhaL/N<NFAGg While T*IS was %laying on my +P3 %layerC htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vD<shfn.f)i@&

+APP. $( T+DA. "&L(N

We here at Planet Nilknarf are very ha%%y to wish 6olin a very ha%%y !irthday and we are ha%%y to share the news that his story has gone >I<AL""" htt%sC11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDOMHfKh#lF>o 6olin is in 7lorida right now as I write this, having the time of his life at Walt -isney World""" I mailed him his $olouring !ook on Thursday !ut it %ro!a!ly won't rea$h him on time. No %ro!lem. It will !e waiting for him when he gets home along with tons of other gifts that have !een sent to him. =ver TW= +ILLI=N P'=PL' have res%onded to his story. &ou may re$all me mentioning it in last month's issue when 6olin's mother asked him if he wanted to invite some friends over for a !irthday %arty. 5What's the use, I have no friends.8 he sighed. So 6olin's mother de$ided to $reate a 7a$e!ook Page where %eo%le $ould share their s%e$ial !irthday greetings to him. The tri$ky %art was kee%ing it a se$ret until his !irthday finally $ame around. I sent him one of my 5-esign &our =wn 6arousel *orse8 $olouring !ooks along with this %i$ture of him as a $ow!oyC

I ho%e that 6olin has a really wonderful day and wish him many wonderful times for the future"""

Dear -om and Dad

+onday, +ar$h, 0/th, ./0@ -ear +om and -ad *ow's everything in heaven: It is +ar$h !reak here and I am having a very !usy and %rodu$tive time. Never a dull moment" We have !een !usy as !u y !ees getting this %la$e $leaned u%. &ou'd !e very %roud of us if you $ould see this %la$e now. It may not !e 0//P %erfe$t yet !ut it is a definite im%rovement $om%ared to

the way it was when our landlord dro%%ed that horrendous !om!shell. We do N=T want to get ki$ked out of here. At least we've had three months to straighten u% this %la$e. A month and a half down, another month and a half to go. I'm sure we'll have this %la$e shi%(sha%e well !efore the deadline at the rate we're going. When we first got started this %la$e looked like a lost $ause. We figured we were doomed. ,ut look what we've managed to a$$om%lish so far... htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vDN.3&ka?/s.+IfeatureDyoutu.!e I figured showing my %la$e on video would hel% me motivate myself. I've already made even more im%rovements sin$e the $om%letion of this film so in another day or so I shall make yet another video !log entry when this %la$e is even +=<' organi ed. Sin$e the making of this film I've gotten rid of all the $ra% on that kit$hen $hair and the %ile on my ta!le in front of the $om%uter is gradually getting smaller. I'm not em!arrassed to have %eo%le over anymore. Not that I ever was in the first %la$e !ut there were $ertain %eo%le I was un$omforta!le having over !e$ause I know they'd )udge and le$ture. We $ouldn't have done it without 2an and 7ede's hel%. They !rought over a !un$h of !ook shelves last weekend. At first I was disa%%ointed !e$ause none of these shelves were as !ig as the one that had !een languishing in the hallway. That !ookshelf was literally falling a%art at the seams, tilting to one side at a %re$arious angle. If I hadn't !een so em!arrassed a!out the way this %la$e used to look I would have taken 5!efore8 and 5after8 %hotos. ,ut the !ook shelves 2an and 7ede !rought over $ame in useful after all. The two smaller ones are in my !edroom and the tall one is in the kit$hen. When we em%tied the !ig !ookshelf in the hall we found that it $ould a$tually !e fi#ed. 2an and 7ede 9ui$kly dashed out to 6anadian Tire for some tools and some metal L(sha%ed !ra$kets to reinfor$e the $orners of that !ig shelf and it's as 4==- AS N'W""" They even went !eyond the $all of duty and !rought me and -ave ;76 for su%%er" I am so thankful for the hel% they've !een too us. Amy has !een a great hel% too. A $ou%le weeks !efore that she and Tasha took me all over hell's half a$re in sear$h of that 7irst ,ook Shelf that I needed for the !edroom to take $are of all those annoying !ooks that were %iling u% ne#t to my !ed. I )ust needed a small shelf that $ould sit sideways ne#t to my filing $a!inets !y the window. We went to the Salvation Army and a num!er of different furniture stores. It is so hard to find small !ookshelves nowadays. 'veryone either owns !ig, im%ressive li!raries or totes all their reading material around on ;indles and other su$h devi$es. I $an't remem!er the name of the last store where we 7INALL& found that right !ook shelf !ut even after it was finished there STILL wasn't room for ALL my !ooks so I am really grateful that I have more shelves now. A %la$e for everything and everything in its %la$e" 4etting everything %la$ed u%on those shelves has !een a ma)or milestone. Another milestone was a $ou%le days ago when I was sim%ly a!le to %ut those two !ags full of fa!ri$ into the $loset. Prior to that it was another milestone to free u% one of those %lasti$ !ins in the $loset so I $ould %ut the full one inside the em%ty one and have even more s%a$e. +y art su%%lies are now on my shelf where I $an see them and ho%efully use them soon. I so !adly want to %aint that horse I !ought in ;ansas. There are S= +AN& things I want to do !ut I'm afraid of messing the %la$e u% again. I've 4=T to get in the ha!it of %utting things !a$k as soon as I'm done with them. At least now I am in the ha!it of va$uuming every day and I've gotten !a$k into the ha!it of making my !ed every morning. +y video e#%lains a little tri$k I taught myself for dealing with all my %illows and stuffed animals. It 7''LS ni$er getting into a !ed that's !een made. It's one of those things I've always en)oyed a!out staying at a hotel. Now I $an feel like I have that hotel e#%erien$e at home" I am S= loving all this e#tra s%a$e that I didn't have !efore. =ne of the first ma)or milestones was getting all those !ins sta$ked and u% off the floor. ,efore I was a!le to move them there was hardly any room to move around in my room.

=ne thing I love a!out all this new s%a$e is now I a$tually have room to set u% the $ard ta!le inside my !edroom instead of out in the hall so it's not in any!ody's way if I want to work on my $raft %ro)e$ts at the ta!le. ,esides !eing in every!ody's way, when the $ard ta!le was out in the hall it had the tenden$y to !e the *=TT'ST %art of the house" And I have 7INALL& su$$eeded in getting ALL the $ra% $leaned out from under the kit$hen ta!le. A %lasti$ sher!et $ontainer really %ut u% a fight though. It was so determined not to leave that it a$tually ,<=;' in the %ro$ess. There I was using the handle of the !room to nudge those %ie$es of %lasti$ out from under the ta!le. It's not easy when I have my s$anner on a smaller ta!le under the ta!le and my modem under the ta!le too on a small %lasti$ kids' $hair and there are wires hanging everywhere. &ou wouldn't !elieve the amount of $ords and $a!les I've found that aren't !eing used for anything and I have no idea what they're for or where they $ame from" &ou wouldn't !elieve all the T'L'P*=N' e#tension $ords we have" And I've managed to get some of my homework done. S$hool has !een 7AS6INATIN4" I am taking a $lass in World <eligions and I've $hosen to do my summative %ro)e$t on Noroastrianism. ?% until I took this $ourse the only thing I knew a!out Noroastrianism was that it was 7reddie +er$ury's religion. I also had this 5Wi ard of = 8 story!ook I'd !ought in ;ansas that said that the Wi ard's full name was =s$ar Noroaster -iggs. Then when we were learning a!out 5$reation8 stories, we studied 6hristianity AAdam and 've, of $ourseB, an$ient 4ree$e APandora's ,o#B and Noroastrianism. The Noroastrian $reation tale is a very long and $onvoluted story that says their first human !eing was a $hara$ter named 4ayomart who was !oth male AN- female and neither moved nor s%oke for three thousand years. I remem!er the details of 7reddie +er$ury's funeral when they said it was a Noroastrian funeral and his $offin was dra%ed with white satin and a single red rose. ;nowing that 7reddie +er$ury was o%enly gay, I $ouldn't hel% !ut !e $urious to find out what the Noroastrian o%inion is a!out homose#uality. So far I haven't found one. What I do know, however, is that he was raised in the Noroastrian faith, as is everyone else of this religion. There are no 5$onversions8. As for his funeral, he was $remated and his ashes are in an undis$losed lo$ation, even though there is a memorial %la9ue with his real name, 57arou9ue ,ulsara8, in a West London $emetery. +ore Noroastrians are !eing $remated now !e$ause their usual method of dis%osing of dead !odies is !e$oming less %ra$ti$al. They !elieve in the 5e#%osure8 method, where a !ody is left at the to% of the 5Tower of Silen$e8 where it is allowed to !e $onsumed !y the elements and flesh(eating !irds su$h as vultures. *owever, now that vultures are !e$oming endangered, $remation is !e$oming more widely a$$e%ted. They do not a%%rove of !urial !e$ause they !elieve that a de$om%osing !ody %ollutes the soil. =ne we!site I looked at says that 7reddie +er$ury is !urning in hell not for !eing homose#ual !ut for not knowing 2esus as his saviour. I know it's hard not to think a!out death and dying this time of year !e$ause of a $ertain anniversary that's $oming u%. 7riday is that day... +eanwhile I $ame a$ross something that will %ro!a!ly give you a !it of a $hu$kle. This %i$ture of me was %ro!a!ly taken at least four or five years ago, and this one of him is distur!ingly similarC Talk a!out an amusing $oin$iden$e. =kay, so he's got more !ananas than me, !ut we !oth have rather similar goofy e#%ressions" To think he's !een gone for more than ./ years"

,y the way did I tell you the e#$iting news last month: I've )ust finished W<ITIN4 A ,==;""" &''''( *AWWW""" It is $alled 5+agi$al 2ourneysC The Ama ing Ouilts, 6reations and Adventures of +argaret 7ranklin8 and I am ho%ing that the finished $o%ies will !e ready !y the end of A%ril when my art show !egins. It's %retty $ool the way it all !egan" A!out a week after our landlord dro%%ed the ,om!shell, 2an and 7ede dro%%ed !y to visit and I was showing them some of my 9uilts as well as the !inder that $ontains my %ortfolio and 7ede was really im%ressed" And he )ust ha%%ens to work in his own small %u!lishing !usiness" It only took me two or three weeks to write my !ook, as it was mostly %i$tures and I'd already had %revious e#%erien$e with my %resentations and stuff. I was S= in my element""" 7ede set u% the %age format for me and I !asi$ally went to town on the whole thing" The hard %art, however, was getting the manus$ri%t to load onto a flash drive. I had Walter try to hel% me with that and he su$$eeded eventually although for awhile it looked like he wasn't having any su$$ess either and I had an em!arrassing meltdown in front of him. *e said something that really kind of u%set me and makes me feel kind of hesitant to ask him for any more hel%..I'm 5s%iritually low8. *okay...WT7 is that su%%osed to mean. =kay, I know I haven't !een to $hur$h in years, I tend to use the 7(!om! more than I should and I don't want to have kids. In fa$t I'm not sur%rised some %eo%le think I'm an evil %erson !e$ause I'm not overly fond of !a!ies. I know I'm a $ra%%y 6hristian !ut I haven't $om%letely renoun$ed my faith..yet..and I don't %lan on doing so even though sometimes I feel like the only thing I'm good at is !eing a !ad e#am%le. I admit I got a little %i$kled at +el's %arty a $ou%le weeks ago. I even had a !eer on Tuesday night after -ave and I got our in$ome ta#es done. And that's another e#am%le of Autisti$ *ell Night. I guess it was a !lessing in disguise that 6heryl $ouldn't do our ta#es this year after all. At first I admit I kind of felt resentful a!out the idea, es%e$ially knowing that they were going to *AWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII""" &ou know how *awaii has !een sort of an o!session of mine lately. At least now that the weather is getting a !it warmer and I've !een so engrossed in this $leanu% that I am a$tually en)oying the way our home is starting to look the *awaii !ug isn't !iting me as hard as it used to. 'nvy is S= N=T a good thing"" ,ut if 6heryl *A- done our ta#es we'd STILL !e waiting for them. At least going to *I< ,lo$k meant getting our $ash right then and there. -ave's $ash anyway. *e raked in )ust over Q3///. I made NIL6* as usual. ,ut it's money we needed N=W. There were fees and dedu$tions so there wasn't as mu$h as we would have gotten !a$k if 6heryl had done it !ut we'd rather have a little less money immediately than !e !roke for

another month or two. The only !ad thing a!out the e#%erien$e though was that the re$e%tionist who wel$omed us went home at the end of the day and forgot to tell the new re$e%tionist we were there so no!ody $ame to get us when it was our turn and we waited for over half an hour. <ight in front of =ld Navy and The 4a%. And the musi$ from one or !oth of these stores was so loud that it was making the !en$hes we were sitting in >I,<AT'" If it's that !ad out in front of the store, imagine what it must !e like for the %oor %eo%le who have to W=<; in these %la$es" I wouldn't last 7I7T''N +IN?T'S" The %ounding was driving me $ra y. When it finally was our turn all the noise in the mall felt like it was %ressing down on me. I had a %ounding heada$he and I was on the verge of tears due to sensory overload" And at least I got to mention that when I filled out the survey that was emailed to me, whi$h they %honed a!out the ne#t day a%ologi ing for what ha%%ened. I ho%e that doesn't ha%%en again ne#t year. At least listening to some musi$ hel%ed a !it and !y the time we were finally finished I was feeling okay enough that we $ould en)oy a ni$e meal out at 6asey's. I'd had a $raving for honey(garli$ $hi$ken wings and I thoroughly en)oyed my ,''<""" 'ven though I don't have s$hool tomorrow I should have !een in !ed ages ago. Tomorrow I'm su%%osed to $lean the !athroom and I have a dentist a%%ointment in the afternoon" =h, )oy, oh !liss, doesn't that sound like more fun than a !arrel of monkeys" Love, +argaret

$itten $# the Tra)el $'g!!

I )ust *A- to share this link of some of the world's most !eautiful towns""" htt%C11www.viralnova.$om10F($harming(%la$es1

A $r'sh /ith Death

7olks, this is N=T, I re%eat N=T an A%ril 7ool's -ay )oke. I really 6=?L- have died this weekend. This <'ALL& 6=?L- have !een the LAST issue of Planet Nilknarf and I wouldn't have even had the $han$e to %u!lish it if it hadn't !een for the diligen$e and $om%eten$e of my wonderful %harma$ist. She literally saved my life. *ere's why. It !egan like any other +ar$h !reak. I had high ho%es of not only getting this %la$e $leaned u% even !etter than it is now, !ut also $om%leting several $raft %ro)e$ts I've looked forward to working on. ?nfortunately, a routine tri% to the dentist turned into a nightmare as of Tuesday, +ar$h the 00th when they dis$overed strange white dis$olourations inside my $heeks and on my tongue. ?% until then and even now I was in no %hysi$al %ain or dis$omfort. ,ut they insisted I !ook an a%%ointment with an oral surgeon. And it would have $ost Q@//, thank you very mu$h" RCA We do S= N=T N''- T*IS" I %honed 2anette with the !ad news and %osted it in my 7a$e!ook status and I am thankful that Iris and Lorraine !oth suggested I make an a%%ointment with my regular do$tor first to get her o%inion rather than fork out Q@// for what is %ro!a!ly )ust Thrush +outh" Then again there is no su$h thing as 5)ust8 thrush mouth. It $ould !e a sym%tom of something even worse like $an$er and dia!etes and my mom had ,=T* !efore she died as well as thrush mouth so !ad she $ould hardly s%eak. I ho%e I don't have either, even though my mom was G0 when she died.

Today is the third anniversary of her death" AI-S %atients suffer from thrush mouth too, I wonder if 7reddie +er$ury had it !efore he died. ,ut Thrush +outh is another one of those %ain(in(the(ass things like ,artholin $ysts Ain this $ase literally""B and alo%e$ia, not to mention autism in the regard that is there anything that -='SN'T $ause itC meno%ause, ST<'SS Aand I've had %lenty of T*AT these days thanks to this evi$tion ultimatum and -ave's latest !out of $ellulitis"B, vitamin defi$ien$y Aes%e$ially iron and ,0. whi$h I $ould understand the iron defi$ien$y if this ha%%ened 3 to K years ago with all my %eriod %ro!lems"B or it $ould !e 9uite sim%ly yet another side(effe$t from my !i%olar meds, whi$h is why I have to go to the dentist more often than anyone else to !egin with. +y !i%olar meds $ause dry mouth and e#$essive !uildu% of %la9ue, re9uiring me to have to see the dentist for $leaning every 3 or @ months instead of every si#. Last time I was there was %ro!a!ly Novem!er or -e$em!er and everything was %erfe$tly fine. So I made an a%%ointment with my do$tor for yesterday. +eanwhile I read everything I $ould on the Internet a!out thrush mouth and of $ourse they show you the worst $ase s$enarios" They also suggest %lain yogurt as a home remedy in the meantime. It must have a$tive %ro(!ioti$ $ultures to fight the mayhem going on in my mouth. Tuesday the weather was !eautiful, !ut on Wednesday it was !li arding like hell" I !raved the !us ride downtown and went to the !ank as I had errands to doL %ay Q0K/ off on my >isa $ard for the time !eing and take out some money for train fare to Toronto, et$. for my do$tor's a%%ointment. I talk a!out it in my latest video !log entry... htt%C11www.youtu!e.$om1wat$h:vD+tJt!n4vG>s So I get to the gro$ery store and all I see is one $arton of vanilla Iogo on the shelf. The de%artment where the yogurt is usually availa!le is !lo$ked off and 6L=S'- 7=< 6=NST<?6TI=N"" Story of my life" 4<<<<<" I had to get the $ashier to go to the sto$k room for me. She returned with two $artons. =ne was %lain and one was vanilla. I ke%t the %lain and asked for another %lain one even though she ke%t talking a!out vanilla. I -=N'T WANT >ANILLA" It *AS to !e PLAIN" N= S?4A<"" And it +?ST have A6TI>' P<=(,I=TI6 6?LT?<'S" 4''N"" Why does '>'<&T*IN4 I need always have to !e su$h a damned $onvoluted O?'ST""" Anyway I did N=T fan$y the idea of navigating my way a$ross the +idtown +all %arking lot in the midst of that snow storm. It was $oming down so hard I e#%e$ted to !e u% to my knees in a matter of minutes. So I $alled a $a!. I knew it would take long" '>'<&=N' wants a $a! on a day like this" I must have waited at least 0K or ./ minutes. And while I was waiting Oueen's 5,ohemian <ha%sody8 $ame along. I don't $are if I looked silly, I )ust sang right along. 2ust as the song was ending the $a! $ame. When I $ame home I filmed my latest video !log entry. +y a%%ointment was at .C// on Thursday. The anniversary of the last time I saw my mom. I arrived at 7in$h station early enough that I had time to WAL; the rest of the way there. It was a !eautiful, sunny day and I en)oyed my walk. When I got there, they figured while I was there they might as well give me my %hysi$al right then and there as it had !een a long time sin$e they've seen me and they might as well save me the tri%. +y do$tor took a swa! and sent me to the la! for !lood work as well as a urine sam%le. I never felt S= N=T like I had to go in my life !ut managed to s9uee e out a few dro%s after all. ,ut they had a hell of a time trying to find a vein. I ho%e I do N=T have dia!etes. I do, however, have high !lood %ressure so my do$tor gave me some sam%les and I have to return ne#t month.

She also wrote me out a %res$ri%tion for the %ills to take for my thrush mouth. The %ro!lem is, tonight when -ave and I went to the drug store to fill my %res$ri%tion, the %harma$ist $ouldn't do so without $onta$ting my do$tor first. +y do$tor ;N=WS I'm on S'<=O?'L1O?'TIAPIN'" Why did she %res$ri!e something that $ould ;ILL me when 6=+,IN'with my !i%olar meds": 'ven if I only have to !e on these %ills for T*<'' days, they're N=T taking any $han$es""" I know it would !e ni$e to see my mom and dad again, !ut N=T &'T" I'm N=T <'A-& to die" I have too many unfinished $raft %ro)e$ts to $om%lete. It's !ad enough that this u%heaval has made it im%ossi!le to finish anything over the +ar$h !reak !ut this would have meant I wouldn't get my master%ie$es $om%leted '>'<""" That and all the ama ing %la$es 2anette and I want to visit together"" We haven't !een to WIS6=SIN yet" =r LAS >'4AS" =r +&<TL' ,'A6*""" In fa$t we've already made most of our %lans to go to N'W &=<; in Se%tem!er"""" And we're talking a!out going to 4?'LP* for my !irthday" And of $ourse I have my !ig art show $oming u% in ,o!$aygeon for +ay and 2une"" 7olks, you +?ST $ome and visit" It's definitely worth seeing. At least we've gotten over the hurdle of -ave's illness and he's !a$k at work and doing okay. I *=P' our a%artment %asses ins%e$tion so we -=N'T get evi$ted, and I $ertainly don't need this thrush mouth1dia!etes nonsense in my life"" If anything I WANT T= 6AN6'L +& S?,S6<IPTI=N to the 6<ISIS =7 T*' +=NT* 6L?,"" I did N=T ask for this"" +ay!e I'm !eing %unished for swearing too mu$h"" 4o figure, there had to !e an 7(!om! in this newsletter somewhere"" It's the %erfe$t !it of $autionary mum!o()um!o for %aranoid %arents to s$are their kids with, right u% there with 5-on't make that fa$e, it'll 7<''N' that way"8 and 5-on't go swimming until an *=?< after you've eaten or you'll get 6<A+PS"8 A$tually I have found a kernel of truth to the latter statement. The last $ou%le of times I've gone swimming I did N=T wait an hour after eating and found out 9uite effi$iently that I $ouldn't en)oy my swim and had to get out of the water 9ui$kly !e$ause 5$ram%s8 is 9uite the deli$ate and dis$reet little eu%hemism for I G TTA G TA!" A #HIT!!!!!$ =kay, so I'm living %roof that swearing $auses thrush mouth. +y former landlady is living %roof that G ##I% CA&#"# G IT"R!!!"

"aro'sel of Friendship
The 'ild A(out )un*le Cat+$ ,uilt

The 5Wild A!out 2ungle 6ats8 9uilt is AL+=ST finished"" I am down to the LAST row" I was a$tually ho%ing it would !e finished !y the time this issue is %u!lished !ut I dou!t that will ha%%en on time. In fa$t I've !een feeling kind of disa%%ointed and frustrated !e$ause with all the u%heaval that took %la$e over the +ar$h !reak I didn't have time to get AN& of my $raft %ro)e$ts finished" ?nfinished $arousel horses still hang from the living(room lam%. At least they've all got their ears. I had so many !ig %lans for the holidays and now I $an't hel% feeling ri%%ed off !e$ause I never had the $han$e to finish anything. At least the to% row is $om%leted at last, es%e$ially the s$ene in the middle of the $arousel museum at

PT6 SH in ,urlington, 6olorado. *ere's a larger view of itC

Sorry it's a little $rooked on the s$anner. &ou may re$all I showed s$enes of it in %rogress last month. I am down to the last row nowC

*ere we have the lion fa$e that a%%ears on the !a$k of the $hariot at the 7ort 'dmonton $arousel, a tiger from my !eloved PT6 S0. at 6rystal ,ea$h whi$h a%%eared on the $over of one of my old Carou+el Ne-+ . Trader$ maga ines and the early -ent el lion I am working on now. Sin$e this %i$ture was taken I am almost finished that lion and I must $onfess, it is one of the most ,=<IN4 $arousel animals I have ever worked on""" Not only that !ut there were some annoying little orange stains near the edge of the fa!ri$ that would N=T $ome out with hel% from the Tide sti$k so I disguised them with some $lever little nauti$al stars"" Two more tigers and I'm finished, not to mention the ordeal of having to sandwi$h the !atting !etween the to% of the 9uilt and its !a$king and do all that hand(stit$hing to 9uilt and hem this son(of(a(gun"" And then I a$tually may have a $ustomer who is really interested in !uying this %arti$ular 9uilt" This is

e#$ellent news from a finan$ial %oint of view !ut it may mean the %u!li$ won't get to see it in my ,ig ,o!$aygeon Show"" +y e#hi!it runs for the entire months of +ay and 2une at the ,oyd *eritage +useum 4allery at .0 6anal Street in ,o!$aygeon and on Saturday, +ay 0Eth. I find it odd that +ay 0Fth is >i$toria -ay this year even though the .@th is on a Saturday" In the meantime, during my $leanu% I $ame a$ross some more $arousel artwork that I didn't even ;N=W I had"""" I have no idea where these $ame from !ut they're going on the N'JT 9uilt...

The s$anner does little )usti$e to the original $olours of these %i$tures, and the last two are %ossi!ly unfinished !ut it's hard to tell. The last one looks like the artist might have !een ha%%y )ust to $olour the mane and tail and leave the rest of the !ody white. The $olours of the tail remind me of a waterfall. In the meantime, as soon as I finish the two 9uilts I am working on I +?ST knu$kle down and get as mu$h work done as %ossi!le on 2oey's %ro)e$t. I had a kind of an em!arrassing e#%erien$e going through my email yesterday when I $ame a$ross a message from her asking if I was almost finished yet and I re%lied to it and after I sent it I reali ed she'd sent it LAST &'A<"" I didn't want to go into too mu$h detail a!out everything that's !een going on in my life lately !e$ause I don't want 2ean finding out. If she knew a!out this a%artment and my thrush mouth I'd never hear the end of it, so I'm !asi$ally kee%ing a low %rofile. So how $an I kee% a low(%rofile if I'm always on line: It de%ends on who's reading it. So far Planet Nilknarf has !een a relatively safe little !u!!le. I have a grou% of faithful followers !ut I am not viral. +ay!e it's a good thing I'm not. Life is !usy and $om%li$ated enough the way it is. +eanwhile, en)oy this list of EE A+ANIN4 7A6TS" htt%C11www.!u feed.$om1daves@1EE(fa$ts(that(sound(like(huge(lies(!ut(are($om%letely(true

$eetle0om01s $ook Nook

The Creativity Cure !y 6arrie ,arron, +- and Alton ,arron, +- and God is Not Mad at You !y 2oy$e +eyer

The Creativity Cure is an e#$ellent !ook for en$ouragement. I dis$overed it at the li!rary at the start of +ar$h !reak when I was gathering resear$h for my summative %ro)e$t. It tells of the im%ortan$e of working with your hands. Whether it's $ooking, $rafts, knitting or writing, taking the time to do something $reative will hel% you feel !etter whatever ails you. +y $reative %ro)e$ts are what's ke%t me sane all these years Aalthough some would think that's %ro!a!ly de!ata!le, tee(heeB. Working on a $reative %ro)e$t gives you a feeling of satisfa$tion that nothing else $an and it is good for your !rain. Not only that !ut so is time to )ust allow yourself 9uiet time to )ust sit and do nothing. This !ook $an e#%lain it all mu$h !etter than I $an. I dee%ly re$ommend it. God is Not Mad at You $ouldn't have $ome at a !etter time" The world needs more !ooks like this !e$ause we need to know more a!out 4od's un$onditional love. +any of us have a hard time a$$e%ting it !e$ause our relationshi% with our heavenly father tends to !e !ased on how we e#%erien$e our relationshi%s with our earthly fathers. I had a good relationshi% with mine, however $ertain figures of authority su$h as !osses and tea$hers Aes%e$ially kindergarten and the first few years of elementary s$hoolB have !een diffi$ult and tur!ulent. The good news is 4od loves you no matter what and the gift of his healing and un$onditional love are yours for the taking. I know there is a lot a!out relationshi%s, !ut for me sometimes I've felt like 4od was mad at me !e$ause of some of the things he's allowed me to go through. I still hunger for an e#%lanation as to why 4od allows !ad things to ha%%en to good %eo%le and then worry that I'm not good enough, !ut 4od is good and his mer$ies are new every morning. *is love and forgiveness are things we often need to !e reminded a!out again and again and this !ook tells it like it is.

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