Find more ways to stay

motivated at cleo.com,au
"ai n c g at t r;tq h,r e hua ng e rjl co in o ai ;,' : s; e,. rr
:

i:oii'r', piex, eou p :e;'d l,ivi,t i-l !6r,riri sg! r-

esi:e;ugr:n,earia,.!"tu:alllrkt€teliolot,
j're, :;i OV i n g
n
l'-'.1, it61 y'riri;, 61,
r,,6i1
"'

ways they fall short," says Shaw.

"What they don't realise is this mindset
can mean they don't present themselves
well in a given situation.
"They can be self-deprecating, and
[the resuli is] they're not taken very
seriously. For example, they can be
so sure they won't get a job that they
under-prepare and undersell themselves."

So, how does one stop themselves from

going "postal" and starting up an anti-
Natalie Portman blog? The first step,
Shaw suggests, is to explore the reasons
why you're comparing yourself to others. 3.t't:::::a

"lf it's because you're hurt or

disappointed, or it's in an area you have
never felt particularly confident, then it's
important to get a good friend to talk
this through with you; someone who
really sees the best in you, so you look
at things from better angles," she advises.
"When I feel my life isn't as great as
so-and-so's, I tell my friends about it. lt's
so comforting to hear that they suffer the
exact same kind of anxieties," says 27-
year-old Lee. "No matter what, there'll
always be someone who's doing better
lthan you], but the key is to keep doing
your thing regardless. Their success
doesn't have to equal your failure."
\..",':i::t:
Next, you need to make sure you're
making the right comparisons. lt's
pointless to liken yourself to a lawyer
friend if you're training to become a
chef. lnstead, look at a range of people
in a similar field to yours, rather than
focusing in on just one person.
As Shaw points out, "lt's important
not to use a comparison to negatively
view yourself and change as a result.
For example, it's certainly no good to
think, 'My ex seems to prefer this or that
... so l'll do that to win him back'."
"lSelf-comparisonl is only motivating
if you use it to harness your own abilities
and stretch yoursell not to criticise and
punish yourself," warns Shaw.
lf all else fails, make an effort to focus
on the positives in your life and how
these measure up to others. Chances are,
even being a talented Hollywood actress
has its drawbacks in comparison. fl

ll, o=srcN=R coLLABoRATTONS lll gEC & BRTDGE i:ll

119