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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

https://foxhugh.com/communication/men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus/
1.0) Point System Women
1.1) Each individual act of love gets one point, regardless of magnitude.
1.2) Money and/or time involved in the act is less important than the emotion behind the act
2.0) Point System Men
2.1) Men assign small acts fewer points.
2.2) Men assign big acts more points if the acts was more money and/or time
2.3) Affective context of the act is less relevant
3.0) Stress Women
3.1) Women use a "wave" to handle stress
3.2) The wave is an act of giving that is reciprocated
3.3) Women need attention, listening, and understanding to stop the wave from crashing
4.0) Stress Men
4.1) Men withdraw when exposed to stress
4.2) Men withdraw to "the cave"
4.3) The cave can be the garage and/or a bar
5.0) Why We Communicate - Women
5.1) Seeking connection
5.2) Build and maintain relationships with others
5.3) Talking is the essence of relationships
6.0) Why We Communicate - Men
6.1) Seeking status
6.2) When it makes them look good, strong, competitive, or independent
7.0) Communication Styles - Women
7.1) Express emotions
7.2) Share personal feelings
7.3) Relate stories
7.4) Listen empathically (also called rapport talk)
8.0) Communication Styles - Men
8.1) Competitive joking
8.2) Assertive speech that wins control of the conversation (report talk)
9.0) Differing Perceptions - Women: Connection Lens
9.1) Look for similarities to achieve connection
9.2) Try to achieve equality
10.0) Differing Perceptions - Men: Status Lens
10.1) Look for differences to achieve status
10.2) Young boys try to one up each other
10.3) Strength of personalities means height of status

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


https://foxhugh.com/communication/men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus/
11.0) Non-Verbal Communication - Women
11.1) Direct, face-to-face gaze
11.2) Used to focus on connection
11.3) Misinterpret no eye contact as a sign of not listening
12.0) Non-Verbal Communication - Men
12.1) Avoid direct eye contact
12.2) Are still listening, although they may not look directly at you
12.3) Misinterpret direct eye contact as a confrontational or flirtatious
13.0) Conversational Rituals - Women
13.1) Use compliments
13.2) Related to the connection dimension
14.0) Conversational Rituals - Men
14.1) Use playful insults and teasing
14.2) Related to the status dimension
15.0) Small Talk - Women
15.1) Talking about personal subjects in order to give sense of connection
Ex: Hows your family?
16.0) Small Talk - Men
16.1) Focuses on information details, statistics
Ex: sports and hobbies
17.0) Giving Orders - Women
17.1) Indirect
17.2) Use strategies not to appear bossy
17.3) Men interpret this as:
17.4) Not being managerial
Easier to say NO
18.0) Giving Orders - Men
18.1) Direct
18.2) Dictate orders
18.3) Not bossy or offensive
18.4) Women interpret this as:
Impoliteness
Overbearing
19.0) The Double Blind for Women
19.1) Expectations for how an authority figure should speak is based upon men in authority
19.2) If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy
19.3) If a woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


https://foxhugh.com/communication/men-are-from-mars-women-are-from-venus/
20.0) Why Is This Important?
20.1) Most men and women dont grasp that talking through their problems with each other
will only make things worse if its their divergent ways of talking that are causing the trouble in
the first place
20.2) If we recognize and understand the differences, we can take them into account, adjust to,
and learn from each others styles
20.3) This will allow us to confront real conflicts of interest
21.0) Some Survival Tips - Women
21.1) Give ideas outright without disclaimer
21.2) Be more concrete when giving orders
22.0) Some Survival Tips - Men
22.1) Give compliments more freely
22.2) Use praise to temper criticism
22.3) Asks for anothers opinion to make them feel included

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