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 A l so by Beth e n n y Fr a n k e l

N aturall y Thin

The Skinnygirl Dish

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 A Place of Yes
10 Rules for Getting Everything
You Want Out of Life

Bethenny Frankel
with Eve Adamson

A Touchstone Book
Published by Simon & Schuster
New York  London  Toronto  Sydney

30049_PlaceOfYes.indd 3 2/9/11 1:29 PM

 Touchstone
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020

Copyright © 2011 by BB Endeavors, LLC

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof
in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights
Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Touchstone hardcover edition March 2011

TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases,

please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at
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Designed Joy O’Meara

Manufactured in the United States of America

1  3  5  7  9  10  8  6  4  2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Frankel, Bethenny.
A place of yes : 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life /
by Bethenny Frankel, with Eve Adamson.
p.  cm.
1.  Self-actualization (Psychology).  2.  Self-realization. 
3.  Self-defeating behavior.  4.  Success.  5.  Frankel, Bethenny. 
I.  Adamson, Eve.  II.  Title.
BF637.S4F723 2011
646.7—dc22 2010050090

ISBN 978-1-4391-8690-9
ISBN 978-1-4391-8692-3 (ebook)

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 This book is dedicated to you:
my passionate, fearless, inappropriate,
supportive, caring, hilarious fans.

You go for it, you want more, you believe in yourselves

and in the fight and you know that good enough
simply isn’t good enough.

You have come into my life and allowed me to come into yours.
Everything I do is to show you that anything and everything
is possible, and we will get there together.

Trust this book, love yourself,

and allow yourself to live the life
you always dreamed of.

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 Contents

Introduction
Who I Am, What This Book Is About,
and What You Need to Know Before You Begin  1

Rule 1
Break the Chain: Surviving Childhood  18

Rule 2
Find Your Truth: How I Finally Met My Match  64

Rule 3
Act on It: My Dream Evolves  114

Rule 4
Everything’s Your Business: Finding My Stride As an Entrepreneur  143

Rule 5
All Roads Lead to Rome: The Rise and Fall of BethennyBakes  174

Rule 6
Go for Yours: The Apprentice, Martha, and Me  201

Rule 7
Separate from the Pack: My Life as a “Housewife”  226

vii

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 viii Contents

Rule 8
Own It: Bethenny Getting Married?  253

Rule 9
Come Together: My Life Now  276

Rule 10
Celebrate!: The Business of Being Happy  311

Acknowledgments  323

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 Rule 8

Own It
Bethenny Getting Married?

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is tell-

ing the truth to other people.

—Spencer Johnson, business author

T his next rule is one of those rules that applies at any stage of
life—as much when you’re first starting out as when you’re at the
peak of your success. It’s a rule I’ve always lived by, and it really
came to fruition at the next stage in my life. It will be your ally and
your greatest defender, no matter what you’ve done. Rule #8 is your
touchstone: Own it.
Owning it is about honesty, and copping to what you’ve done or
said—no matter what. Some people say I take it too far. I am the
queen of TMI. I sometimes overshare or say inappropriate things in
part to entertain people, in part to entertain myself—it’s my strange
sense of humor. In some way, it makes me feel more real, like I’m
really here with my two feet on the ground, running my own show
and not under anybody’s thumb. It’s my way of being myself.
But no matter what I reveal, on my show, in my books, in my
253

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 254 A Place of Yes

appearances, or anywhere else, I will always follow rule #8. I will

never deny something I really said or did.
When you break the chain, take responsibility for your life, find
your truth, act on it, have faith that all roads lead to Rome, go for
yours with passion and dedication, and separate from the pack,
you’ll absolutely have to own it. You’ve set yourself up to live with
integrity, and this rule is the key to practicing that integrity.
If you do it, say it, think it—then own it, and you’ll never have
to scramble to cover your tracks or remember your lies or make up
any excuses. Owning it means taking that final step toward fully
acknowledging who you really are.
At every stage of my life, I’ve owned it, and owned it big. Some-
times it stung in the moment, but it was always better in the end.
I’ve never pretended to be somebody else, denied anything I’ve
done, or refused to admit to something I actually said, even when it
might have benefited me in the short term to do otherwise. Some-
times, I’ve even felt as if my life depended on owning it. I live by all
the rules in this book, but in many ways, this rule defines me. I’ve
thought a lot about why owning it is so important to me, and I think
I know why. It’s because of rule #1, breaking the chain.
I told you all about my mother in the beginning of this book, in-
cluding how, last year, after an article appeared in People magazine
and I talked about my childhood, my mother came forward and
talked to the tabloids, and sold my childhood pictures to the press.
I knew she would do this at some point, and, oddly, I understood
why. She felt exposed and uncomfortable about what I’ve said about
her, and she wanted to tell her side of the story.
But I never felt like my mother was able to own her own life,
and I think that’s why I’ve always been overzealously committed to
owning mine.
In writing this book, I never wanted to hurt her or anybody. I
wish when this book comes out so she wouldn’t have to see it or
know about it. However, my conflict was that if I can’t tell the truth

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 Own It 255

about the past, I can’t move on from it. I can’t break the chain. Also,
I can’t help people, or even ask them to live a certain way, unless I
can stand up and do it first. I have to tell my story. I have to let you
under the hood of my life, so I can lead by example and help other
people with their own struggles. I have to do it for myself, for my
husband, for my daughter ​. . . ​and for you. I’m sorry if she’s uncom-
fortable with how I remember my past, but I have to own it, and I
can’t be responsible for her inability to own what she’s done or who
she is.
She might be angry with me, or maybe she’s not anymore. I
don’t know. All I know is that I’m not angry with her about the past.
I’m deeply hurt by her recent actions, but not surprised. I believe
people shouldn’t complain or explain. At some point, you have to let
it go. Every time I’ve ever talked to my mother, she’s full of negativ-
ity. The last time I talked to her, I told her I was breastfeeding, and
she said, “I didn’t breastfeed you. Maybe that’s what I did wrong!”
Then she told me my husband must be from New York because my
accent was horrible. (He’s not, by the way.) When it comes to my
mother, there is always a dig.
All I can do is stand up for myself and own my own life, and do
everything I can to protect my daughter. That’s the whole point of
rule #8. The truth sets you free, so own it.
This book is about me. And it’s about you. Maybe I take it too
far by wearing my heart (and all my other body parts) on my sleeve,
but I do it to defeat my own childhood noise. It’s my coping mecha-
nism. It’s the way I own it, and it works for me. It helps me be
lighter and not take myself too seriously.
If you want to have integrity, if you want to feel right and good
and strong about what you are doing and where you are going with
your life, you have to own it. Do you feel it? Did you say it? Did you
do it? Did you really mean it? Is it who you really are? Then own it.
Rule #8 is about taking responsibility for who you are, what you
do, what you stand for. It’s about being truthful, not just to other

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 256 A Place of Yes

people but to yourself—even if your friends aren’t or your family

isn’t. It’s about seeing the reality of a situation, accepting it, and
working with it.
Perhaps I’ve chosen an extreme solution to making my life, my
mistakes and successes, transparent—by putting it all on television.
Some people might think my career and life are too public, and
would never want to bare themselves in public the way I do, and I
understand that. This is my way to do it, not yours. You’ll have your
own path for owning what you do and what has happened to you in
your life.
Personally, I feel so fortunate to have this forum for voicing my
ideas and sharing my experiences. When I think of something great,
sometimes it doesn’t seem truly great until I can tell people about
it, and I’ve got a way to do that. But it’s not for everyone, and when
Bryn is old enough to be aware that she’s on television, Jason and I
will have to have a serious heart-to-heart about whether to keep her
in front of the camera. A lot of that will depend on her. If there is
any negative effect at all, of course it will end immediately, and who
knows, I will probably be doing something else by then, anyway. My
goal isn’t to be on reality TV forever. It’s to have a longer and more
in‑depth dialogue with my fans through a different outlet, such as a
talk show.
But even though I’m guessing your life isn’t on camera the way
mine is, it’s still your life and it’s real and it’s happening to you right
now, and you can make it into anything you want. Owning your
words and actions is the way. You don’t have to be on camera having
your life dissected by viewers in their living rooms to take responsi-
bility for that life. You just have to own it.

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 Want more from Bethenny?
Pre-order your copy of A Place of Yes today!

A PLACE of YES
New from Bethenny!
On sale in March 22, 2011
It’s easy to say no and “I can’t,” to expect
the worst and to doubt yourself. But your life
can be better than “not bad” or “good enough”—
it can be amazing.
In her new book, Bethenny opens up and
shares the obstacles she overcame and the
great success she has enjoyed while discovering
how to approach life from “A Place of Yes.” By
putting together Bethenny’s ten rules for
pursuing your goals with authenticity and drive,
you too can be more successful, more fulfilled,
healthier, and happier than ever before. Click
here to learn more!

Available wherever books are sold.

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