FHIf,

All of the good, none of the bad,everymonth

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From the mouth of

Asia's Sex Lessons Thecountry's premier Gurugreetsus from Sex Amsterdam!pl38 World of iiggy International sex newsfromall overthe planet! p140 GK Theaspiring painter her on addiction CalvinKlein! p142 to Ladies' GonfessionsAlmost caughtby daddylp144

43 Bling brigade!
lconic TheSamsung-Armani Pb20 parades the gadgetcatwalk! on p43 Spin crazy Hey Mr.DJ!Put our requests p44 on! Ministry of sound Blazing goodies audiophiles shouldlustafter!p4S

Everythinsthat tterCthis honth...

Keepyourmindoff the sweltering summer heatwith features on... Tin Amante We'reproudof this pl6 sultry mama! JumpingbeanstalkSuperbonngg putsup withparkour! pl8 Urban planning Doingour bit for good old Manila! p20 PLUS! Laughing Jake Uichico,s at greenjokes,skipping town in our Toyota Previa,exploring indie comics'dark side,and partying like we'rein Entourage!

46 Dashing directives
Office wear Dapperwaysto work hardfor the money! p46 Getup guru Yourwardrobe mishaps-explainedl p49 All-star shave Shaving must-haves p50 to hoard!

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THUE STOHIES
160 Anecdotes galore
Tired and sleepless,working stude chooses wrong day to get drunkl

149 Life-enhanced!
lron man training!Superhero workout, armorunnecessary! p1S0 Jody Coseteng The mastercar racerzoomspastlife'shumps! pl52 You go grill But knowhow to do it perfectly first!pl53 Gondo quest! Makemoney your off realestateinvestment! pl57

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S u m m i t M e d r 6 F & T F R o b i n s o n s C y b e r g a t e C e n t e r T o rR o b3n s o n s P i o n e e r C o m p l e x , P i o n e e r S t . , M a n d a l u y a .re. i

For Him Magazine,SummitMedia,6F & 7F RobinsonsCybergateCenter Tower3, RobinsonsPioneerComplex,PioneerSt., Mandaluyong City lbEO Telephone: 63(2)631/89/71 to 85 Fax:63722Q6 . SMS: FHM ED (message) (name) and send to 23669 . e-mail:fhm@summitmedia.com.phwebsite: www,fhm.com.ph

What's your all-time favolite Pinoy folk song? EIlIT(|RIAT

C a l c u l a t e d h e n u m b e ro f h a n d st h a t w o u l d c a r e s sc o v e rg i r l P r e c i o u s d o n a , t A a n d u l t i m a t e l y a k ef o r a m e m o r a b l e h o t o . m o

Ufords Asia Agcaoili,Lou Albano;ChristianBautista,Omarglenn Belo,RheaCatada,MncentCoscolluela, lvan Dapul, Jacqueline DyeqFayellogon,RuelLucas,ElijahMendoza, Mica SiquijoaKathleen VallePidures Ocs Alvarez, Mari Arquiza, Carlo Bandoquillo, CharlesBuenconsejo, MncentCoscolluela, Christim Halili,AlfredMendoza, PaulMondok Dr. MarlonPecjo,Dix Perez, Tablante, Jay JakeVezosa lllustlatlons MikkeGallardo, TracySantuyo,SonnyRamire, Jennyson RoseroStyllng/Makeup SalieAcupan,NanteAlingasa, DarleneAnderson, AilanBaCina, AmixBeltran, DebraBemales,DiannaDe Castro,Omar Emita, Badj Gallas,Ana lsip,Jonathan, HannahKim,TonLao, Myron Mariano, Genie Ranada, TelayRobles,MickeySee Spedal thanks to Vncent del Rosario, Mhit Pimentel, Mva,LBJ, One RomanSuites,Astica Bar San Juan,A&M, Monet Pun. Route 196

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FII IIITERIIATI IIETWll M ll ]IAt RK

Internatlonal Dheclor of llen's Magazlnes SimonGreves Internatlonal Edltorlal Dlrector Chris Mooney Digltsl Dlrctor GaryBroughlon Internatlonal Edltorlal Manager HenryRimmer lnternatlonal Content llanegel Jennifer Kynoch Internatlonal Coordlnator AnouskaChristy Internatlonal Bualnoss luanager Mark Beard Dlgltal ftolect Managor GrahamKirx Internatlonal EdltoB (UK) AnthonyNoguera(Australia) (China) EwenPage (Bulgaria) Spahiyski Emil JaclEJin (Croaria) (Denmark) DomagojGlogovic Soren Baastrup(Estonia) RobertKorvits(FrancejLomigGuillo (Germany) (Hungary) Christian Kallenberg DavidHraschek(Holland)ErikNoomen(lndonesia) RichardSam Bera (Latviai KasparsOzole(Lithuania) (Malaysia) Aidas Puklevicius SimonBurgess(Merico)JorgeArias (Nomay) Martin (Portugal) Thronsen PedroMendes(Romania) EduardTone(Ruesia) SergeyKolesov(Serbia)MomirBorocki (Singapore) (Slovenia) DavidFuhrmann-Lim (SouthAfrica)HagenEngler(Spain)MiguelMllamizar Uros Majcenovic (Sweden) TobiasWicksirom(Iaiwan)Han Ku (Ihailand)PakornTansiri ffu*ey) DidemTamarBehram

Went with Alex on her radio Refusedan offerto be Waited patiently an for tour, presumably check to Boom Boom's personal offerto be Apl.de.ap's on her good behavior. punching ag. personal b assistant.

SUTTIMIT MEllIA
Pr$ldent Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng VP fot Oporatlons Hanseldela Cruz Dlgltal Publbhorfieam Rtbll3hor Denisdel Callar A$oclate Publlshor Chad Rosario

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Web Doslgner KetuinTee Wsb Programmr KoreeMonteloyola Productlon Dl.octor Intet Mctoriano Asslstant Produc{on Managor JaneM. Puno Productlon Coordlnator Arnel Laigo Ptoduction Dsslgner ArthurAsturiano Admlnlsffi\,s llanager Vvhilma Lopz Admin AsCstants RosaiieArteta,Angel San Jos AoYERiItSlltC Group Advert|3lng Dlrctor Florence Bienvenido Adv. Dlrsctor-lGy AccounE Group Regie Uy Ady. Dhoctor-Men's Tltles MaizaMueco Key Account SpdalEts JoeyAnciano, Junnde las Alas,JoyceArgana, Cha Clarino, Alex Revelar, Annie Santos,SuzetteTolentino Senlor Account Manager Bem Caharian Junlor Accourt Managers- l(ey Aounts Group GingerTaduran, Dinglasan, JJ CherrieBanetto, GasglfbdAct EreorUrpsSharcn HloEMitrelleDizon Execr|tlye As6lstant Rita Barbacena Koy Accounts Asslstants ChinggayCabit,Onnie del Mundo,DianneSuegay,MaricelSamson Advertbhg Asslstant ElinorCorneio Adv. ltafflc Supelisorc Bizieldel Rio,Mya Gorcsoe MARTENilG llarkotlng Dlrector for In-magazlne Promotlons & Eyents Groups MarcieLinao Creatlve Dhector Noel fucueta Prolect Offlcer Chary Antonio llarlctng Assodabs l(ap Estoista,EhineNativilad Marketlng A3slstant San Francisco Creatlye Art|st3 JomarFajardo, Jimenez Aia , JohnnyOna , DonnaTapay Events Prolecl Offlcars Rudotph Baldonado, CharlotteMaximo Sr, Markeflng Assodate lris Azadon, Leah Basco Jr. Maftotlng Ass. AllanAltera, Mari Go, Kridel Lorbes, Caz Marifto, MaanPe, MirelleOuizon, Anna Ramos, Simbulan Ais Ualkotlng A3st DonnaFuentes Dade Markothg OIG Anne ChristineO. Ong llade Marketlng Officer ErnestD. Javier Sr. llade Marketlng Assoclates KnelleD. Reyes, Tricie P. Cuasay Ilade Markotlng Asoclato CandaceU, Lobendino Itado Mad(dng Ass, EunicoZ. Bisnar,CharlesL Chua Vlsua! Mrdrandlsel WarrenE. Espejo Medla Relatlons PR tlanager Ro Manalo PR Assodates Mica Siquijor, IngridMllafuerte PR Clerk Hae Romawac Spodal Pub Edltor-ln-Chlef lfistine Fonacier Croatlv Dlrector Noel G. fucueta Spdal Pub Asslstant ilanaglng Edltors Sunshine Selga,lza Santos,Samantha Echavez Spodal Ptrb Edltodal Asslstant PatriciaEnriquez Spodal Pub Art Dlrec{orc Bong Sevilla, Cindy Dy, JonasAsistio,CleoneBaradas Spclal Rtb Ssnlor G.aphlc Dslgne]s Alona Martirez,Eric Mendoa

Wished Alex'sclothes Grinnedfor posterity amidst Chaps with red designerwell for saving being smashedat Alfred M's lips,erect tower... up on textiles. and wife Pia's birthdaybash. Freudis reelinq!

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Cl?qrlatlon Manager-GtlA GlendaGil Proylndal Sal3 Manager AlexisMartinez Intematlonal DlgHbutlon Spoclallst UlysisJavier Clrqrlatlon Supervlsor MayleenLaron Clrcul.tlon Admln Asst AyenSanritlan, Cathy Yabut,NancyPastor l{ewsstands Supsrybo.-Valu liodia JoelValdez ,?, Saler R6p-Valu llodla Johnlakhi Cetso Sr. I{swsstand Superv|sor-GMA CarolineHenera Jr. Salos Rsp-Provlnclal McmarAwid, Dong Manlansing, SermandLacza,RodelRevilla, Ferdie Oreto, RogolioCaballero JeromeEspejo Jr., Key Acc. Group Head Mai Lozada, MalouRubinos JL Salo6 Rp NoreenSescon,LeslieBagon, VivianManahan, ChadotteBarlis,Lhon Bituin,Bea Velmquez, JennyReparep, JamesRusselDds Sub Supet.lsor Hector Castillo Sub Coordlnator JofetAbad Sub & Dlroct Sales A$oclate EmelyLorenzo Loglstlct Manager Noman Campo

Rapper was Chill ) furious usfortaking at things too a bit literal - ; during FHMdebut.L her I Sony, case didn'tI in we apologize Holla I then. girl!We back, miss you-and Lagaristaslar Janna Victoria, too.
a

Nothing thismagazine bereproduced in may in whole part or without written permission publishers. the of the We cann0t accept responsibili$unsolicited for manuscripts photographs miterial ordamagedthemail. and orfor lost in

FHM is printedin the Philippines SummitMedia underlicenselrom BauerConsumerMedia.All riohrsreserued. by The tnde markFHM and certainmaterial containedhereinare owned by BauerConsumerlriedia.

1 0 F H M M A Y2 0 0 8 w w w f h m , c o m , p h

fhm@summitmedia'com.phSummit POST: Media, & 7FRobinsons 6F Cybergate Tower Robinsons Complex, St., Center 3, Pioneer Pioneer Mandaluyong1550 City
magaztne s e c r e t l yw h e n I was rnhigh school-my f a t h e r ' ss t a s h a c t u a l l yw h i c h , h e u s u a l l yk e p t in the closet My b o y f r i e n da l s o lovesFHM and it's sad he doesn't know that I read it, too, so we s e l d o m d i s c u s s e v e r yi s s u e w e ' v e , r e a d . I ' v e a l w a y sw a n t e d t o d o t h i s . w i t h h i m . W e ' l l c e l e b r a t eo u r f i r s t anniversary n May 17 | would like o y o u t o h e l pm e s u r p r i s e i m I w r l l h b u y m y f i r s t - e v e rF H M I o g e t h e r w i t h m y J C o n o u r b i g d a y ! T h a n k s ,F H M , for beinga part of our veryhappy a n d b l e s s e df i r s t a n n i v e r s a r yT o l m y J C , I l o v ey o u , p a r e ! H a p p y f i r s t a n n i v e r s a r!y

Summer's hottest
Great to see Alessandra d e R o s s io n yourApril c o v e r .S h e ' s so hot and s e x y lA n d s h e ' s m o r e b e a u t i f u l t o d a yt h a n i n a n y o f h e r p r e v i o u s p i c t o r i a l s I. m u s t a l s o a d m i t h o w s u r p r i s e dI w a s t o s e e N i n a J o s e a n d H a z e lM e n d o z aa s y o u r c o v e r g i r l s .I u s e d t o t h i n k N i n a w a s j u s t t h e p a - t w e e t u m st y p e . But when I saw her-WOWI Keep surprising s, FHMI u

L o l ob,ye ma i l i I n fl u e n t i a l !
I just want to let you know that I'm an avid collectorof the m o s tp o p u l a r a g m inthe Philippines, and maybethe universeWorkingin a w a r e h o u s eI,' m s o rntoyour mag I even asked my suppliers bribe rrrewith to a monthlyedrtion Fortunately, of one them agreed Now I have rny own FHM supplierI hope you can post my wife's picturein time for our 1 l th weddrng anniversary May 20 on Begie, email by

NorbertFuentes, C. Zamboanga City

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Addictus!

H e yg u y s ! W e want the world to know aboutour : a d d i c t i o nt o y o u r 'l j m a g .T h i sg u y a n d I |f ' took some souvenir shotsof our last nrghl o u t t o g e t h e r .A n d t o r e a l l ym a k e i t m e m o r a b l eI d e c i d e dt o s e n d o n e , of them in. L y a n d M a c ,b y e m a i l

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Oh b a b y ! Ba b y !
H e l l on e w a n d i m p r o v e d H M l Y o u r F mag makesour days complete And to completeour

H e rf i r s tt i m e !
I used to scan and read vour

celebration for ourbouncrng baby boy, born last November 1 5 ,w e d e c i d e d to send you hrs pic Hope you can post thrsfor our l i t t l e n e .T h i si s o u r o son RasheedLeuan holdinghis favorite covergirl,Katrrna Halili To our dearestson, welcorneto the Christian world! We alwaysthank God for givingus a healthy and cute baby lrkeyou Thankyou for rnaking our livescomplete, being our for s t r e n g t h n d f o r g i v i n gu s j o y O u r a wish is for you to be God fearing and to havea good future Remember that we're alwayshere for you, We loveyou so much Be a good babyl Mommy Gelle andDaddy, email by

Never too late!

H i , I ' v eb e e n a fan of ycrrrs s r n c et h e f r r s t d a y I l a r de y e s on a copy of FHM I always b u y a n i s s u ee v e r yt i m e I g e t t h e c h a n c e ,b u t w i t h o u tm y m o m k n o w i n g i t I h a v ea b i g f a v o rt o a s k I w a n t e d t o p r o p o s et o r r y g r l J o i c e M a l a g a
J i r o u r t r r s ta n n l v e r s a r y ,

1 B I h o p ey o L r a n c a n n o u n c er n y p r o p o s a l b y p o s t i n gt h r s J o i c e , w r l ly o u m a r r ym e ' a n d b e m i n ef o r all eterrrity? lease P m a k et h i s a d r e a m contetrue

MAY
Wallpaper! Meaningful Just for kicks! Bulagal He's the man!

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'My thought one going bejust picture one myacademy this was to a of of husbandI just and wantedhaveprcture-pedect to a moment," "lt was late findout some bosses l,"says and too to that tongue- explains "Trouble s0me0ne the just was, invadedscene tospoil the wagging suddenly ruined cadet had everything byinvading framel the Iun. Parang hangingleelh salikod ntay tuloy ko.Grrrl"

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:..J "We tothe went south Black last Saturday lglesia," for Visita reveats "l took nice infront a Batangas when thin in photo a of Church this guy blue from snuck behind, as we're smilinu if friends!"

"This picture taken was during tour the our of breathtaking London "To dismay, foreigners Tower Bridge," writes my three were caught frame inthe making look the me like intruder here,

d t h e m p L r b l r s h e B y t h e w a y .l m s t i l l s r r g e a ' r d l o o k i n gf o r w a r d t o m e e t a s p e c i : r g a l o u t o f y o u r m a n yl o y a l f e m a l er e a d e r s C a r l o s .y e m a i l b

l b o L r q hy o u r t M a r c hi s s u e a r r do n m y w a y h o m e ,I h Lrrr e d l y o p e n c dt h c m a g wh clwasridinq t h e l e e p r r e yo t s c a n i f t h r :p c t u r e o f r n yw f e r - n a d et r n i h e l e t t c r s i s c c t o n I w a s d i s a p p on t e d S o I d e c r d e dt o s c n d a n o t h e r m a i lb u t e r t t h s t r r n e r yh t h r c c p c t l r e s o f r n y w i f e , l t s a l l L r pl o y o r -ii{ y o L r a n t t o w p r - r b lh t h e r r l t s r - n y a y o f r n a k r n g s w L p t o r r y v , , i f c o r h c r b r t h d a ya n d r f rt o r , rfro r - r h : l ' l - v c r s a r y a r s t a r c h M

H o p ey o u c a n c o n s i d e p u b l i s h r r n q m y p h o t o r ny o u rA p r i lt s s r _ r e I t ' sa s i m p l cr e q u e s t r o m a n a v r d f f a n w h o s c e l e b r a t i n g r sb r r t h d a y h o n t h c s a r n em o n t h A n d t o s h o w y o u g L r y sh a t l ' m a r e a lf a n . h e r e ' s t a p h o t o t a k e no r - t h e d a y o f t h e r a u t o g r a p h t g nn g e v e n tw i t h R i z a s Santos To c o v e ra l l t h e b a s e s ,I a l s o p o s t e ds o m e p h o t o so n y o L r r w e b s i t ea l d theWho The Hc secton h o p r n gt o q e t

lagree w r t hw h a t !ou !rl!s sard n a previous

r s s u e .t h a t t h c r e ' s n o t h l g s e x i c r t h a n r n a k i n ga g r l w c a r y o u r oversrzed shLrt So that s lvhat I d d when I took th s snap o{ rly g i r l f r e n d , I h o p e y o L ro a r c L r b s h th s photo of her so she ce e.. I ve scnt rtto you guys tc aa eliaite our com ng monthsary

J u m p eb ye m a i l r,

Mabuhay!

Perfect weirdo

Arf ! Arf !

Esmyuskee!

Mamhie Love!

Live!

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14 FHM i,ii'

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05108 >GRAFFM METRI|

s0um0ils

PARKI|UR GREEII JOKES

You'llprobably swearshe'sone of thosesteaming Brazilian hot imports, you'llbe sorely but mistaken. Amanteis as Pinoy Tin as a puto-bumbongcravingat four in the morning, onlyneeds she to talk to makeit obvious. The lively25-year old, who repeatedly excused humorous her ramblings by saying"Pasensyana, bakla pol' is as funnyas she is hot-well, maybethe scalestippinga bit moreon the hot side. Thisfiery Cebuanaswears that she'snot really model;she a just took someoffers. Well,she surefooledeveryone. Besides, with a body likethat, it would have beensuch a shamehad it been keptunderwraps... How many people have mistaken you for aBraziltan? Not a lot actually, because speak I Filipino Cebuano and evenbefore theyget to talkto me.Ha ha! Do you often go out for fun? Hindi ako mahilig sa gimik. Pagkatapos kong magtrabaho, umuuwi ako kaagad.Sumasama ako minsan,pero parang hindi ako masaya,eh. Mas gusto ko sa bahay,magpatugtog music, ng manoodng-N-ganun. Does that mean you're vicefree, too? Yes.I neither drinknor smoke. lf ever I drink,isang basolang, bagsakna ako, umiinomna ako ng kape.I've tried smokingbefore, pero parang ayaw talaga ng katawan ko, hindi talaga bagay. We hear you have a kid and have no qualms talking about it...

Kasi honestnamanako, sinasabi kong may baby ako. Laging nagugulatyung mga tao. Yung iba, hindi naniniwala. Tapospag pinakitako yung picture, sakalang naniniwala.Payat kasi ako kaya hindi halata.Nakatutuwa siya kung iisipin mo. Parangproud ka pa nga eh. Do you use that line to shoo away unwanted admirers? Ha ha! Hindi naman.Madalas kasi kasama ko yung anak ko, kaya sinasabikobaby ko.Pero minsan may nagsasabi,Puwede ako na " lang magingdaddy?"Jino-jokeko na lang drn. I ask them to pass a resum6. Do you consider loving as a vice? No naman,pero pag na-in love ako, todo. Sobrang loyal ako. Seryoso ako pagdatingsa relationships. Seryoso kasiako pag nagla-last talaga.Ayoko ng laru-laro.Dalawa lang naging boyfriendko simula nung dalagaako. So how do you show signs now when you like a particular guy? Tinitingnanko lang siya. Hinihintay ko kung magkakagustorin siya sa akin. Pag pinansinako,makikipagusap ako. Kung hindi, wala na lang din. Pag feelingko hindi ako gusto, stop ako. Having any mutual feelings with anyone at the moment? Ngayon, wala. Mas masarap magingsingle.Nagagawako lahat ang gusto ko. Kasipag nasa relationshipka,parang nali-limit ka, kasi siyempre roon ka na eh. Mas masayaakong kasama yung friendsko. FHM

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You've probably heard of Parkour.lt involvesnavigatingthe urban streets through anythingbut walking-you can run,you must jump, leap,flip, whatever it takes to get from point A to point B. O b v i o u s l y , o t h i n gI s h o u l d n ' t n be able to do. To prove it, I hooked up with the boys of Philippine FreeRunnersto see if they could eclipse my moves. They showed me a coupleof running-to-the-wall-thenbackflippingmoves. On my first attempt, unfortunately, became that I guy Manny Pacquiao ridicules in the painkillertablet TV ad (that was my official explanation). excused I myself,admittedly harboring some ill feeling towards the showoffs. So what did I do to get back at these boys with ADHD? | tipped the park's security guard that some 'Akyat Bahay" members were rehearsingfor their next heist. In no time, the Parkour boys were running away in real desperation!

18 FHM MAY2008 www.fhm.com.oh

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We believe we've stated our case against MMDA art-those pastel atrocities on metro walls covering up what could have been better atrocities-in earlier Incoming stories. Let's repeat our stand: They would be better off hiring r e a l v a n d a l sc h u r n i n go u t b e t t e r art. Like this group at the Tutok Creative Convergence,where unique expressiorisof graffiti art-

like spider webs made of toyo and plastic bags as artistic installationsare commonplace. Mark Salvatus, who speaks for the graffitiartists, puts it: "Walang theme sa amin na mga makakati ang kamay, we just want to reclaim the street from advertisementsl' They don't just use walls as canvas-they use themselves,and you, if they have to. One of the highlights as a w taong grasa, authentic in every way, who hours later reappeared in respectable clothes and carried good conversation.Now, let's see

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PROBI SOUED

PBOBLEM: POIAIEB
S0[UT|0N: have take ? We to thealternative-fuel advocates' word this:Biofuels the on are futuru. letstake So allthatland at Meralco's headquarters in 0rtigas theiremployees use (man, they for parking do have cars!) build and huge pigpens instead. Raise a million hogs them. in Drain allthatpig-poo down a biofuel conveder. Result: megawatts fecal-porcine of power!

20 FHM

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At a price of well over two millionfor the top of the line,you might as well take out a housingloan to purchase the Toyota Previa.Which gives us an admittedly complicatedbut otherwise novelidea-we at FHM will examine this car not like our cousinsal Top Gear but with the eye for detaillike our sisters ai Real Living. And why the hell not? lf the luxuryminivan's worth a house then it sure shouldfeel l i k eo n e . S o i n t h e m a n n e ro f o u r desperatereal-estate agent selling us a patch of oasis in far-flung Montalban, shalltake you on a we tour aroundthe movinghouse that is the Previa. Trustus, this is quality condo living,not prefabricated governmenthousing. lf you would care to step onto the passengerdoors,you'llsee that there are two of them, one on each side, NoW normally you'llhave a door on the suicidepart of a van if you purchaseda smuggled right-hand drivesetup in Subic. No, you can't havethose Japaneserejects.This one's good and very legal. But that is not the spectacular thing about these two doors. lf you happento havethe keys-which is no key at all because it's keylessand works electronically, even the whole stadrngup process-stand merely inchesaway from the vehicleand the doors automatically unlock,as though recognizing your noble presence. Pressthe open button on the "key" and passengerdoors slide open.

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T h a ti s w h a t w e c a l l t h e i n v i s i b l e butler (or invisible lnday if you'rethe rags to richestype). Moving on to the "livingrooml' you havetwo captain'schairs and one couch that could sit four average-size passengersout back. You'llbe pleasedthat floor area certainly wasn't compromisedfor comfort,so despitethe generous seat spacingyou stillhave ample aislesto amble your way in. You'll be even more pleasedto know that the two captain'schairshave leg raisesfor you to get the full stretch. Air-conditioning vents everywhere c o o l i n gy o u a n d t h e p l u s hl e a t h e r seats all add up to that posh feel and smell. Takenote though that this is still a "bare unitl'Youwill haveto install your own entertarnment system,as we feelyou will want LCD screens and theater-surround systemshere givenyour lifestyle. We're afraidthe basic sound systemjust won't do. Captain'schairs,too, are no La-Z Boy by all accountsand you'd wish there was a massagingmechanism there somewhere.But surelythat can be arranged. Also, the bittertruth is this is stilla car. No 3O-year mortagefor as low as six-percent intereston this one-that would be a Pag-lbighousingloan and that would be us peons availingit. We will haveto wait for a full government refund (for overallfailure?) beforewe can go out and get our first Previa, if t h a t ' sa t a l l o o s s i b l e . . .

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THE FAITS Uichico ilame:Jake Entrepreneur Profession: 52 Age: [/lanila Hometown: volleyball Former Careel: coach Sundol his Read work: Hubo Pindot t Hubad Really Jokes Really, Green

Just curious, are you related to coach Jong Uichico of Barangay Ginebra? C o a c h J o n g i s m y b r o t h e r .F r v e boys kamiand all La Sallites, a l l a t h l e t e s .M y b r o t h e r s P l a y b a s k e t b a l l .A k o , I l o v e b a s k e t b a l l b u t t h e s p o r t d o e s n ' tl o v em e . I e n d e d u p p l a y i n gv o l l e y b a l l . How did Sundot Pindot, Hubo't Hubad come about? T h e b o o k ' s a c t u a l l ya r e s u l t o f a c o l l e c t i o no f t e x t j o k e s I h a v e . When I had a stroketwo Years a g o , I f e l t r e a l l yd o w n . W a l a k a n g g i n a g a w a .I s t a r t e d t a l k i n g t o t h e w a l l s .W h e n t h e w a l l s s t a r t e d t a l k r n gt o m e , k i n a b a h a n n a a k o . B u t m y f r i e n d sk e p t s e n d i n g m e j o k e s t o c h e e r m e u P . I c o m P i l e di t . Just wondering, are you an advocate of sex education? T a y o k a s ie x p e r i m e n t a l a h a t . t A n d w h e n y o u e x p e r i m e na l o t , s d e f i n i t e l y o m e t h i n gw i l l g o w r o n g . Mga Pinoy pag may naghubad, lahat n4l<atinginat may mababangga. I n E u r o p e ,h i n d i ganun. So the more y o u r e s t r i c t ,t h e more manyakis ang JaKc lalabas. Yung mga Assumptionista, wild daw di ba? My wife's an A s s u m p t i o n i s t a(.l a u g h s ) But that'sjust innate Some say those who ioke about sex don't get much. Your thoughts. I t h i n k b a l i k t a d .T h o s e t h a t j o k e about sex are just haPPY eoPle. P Y o u s h o u l d l a u g ha b o u t t h e s e t h i n g s .T h o s e w h o a r e t o o m u c h s e r i o u si n l i f e s h o u l d d i e . ( l a u g h s ) Care to share the dirtiest ioke you've ever received? I w o u l d n ' tk n o w . L a h a t k a s i d i r t y b u t h e r e ' ss o m e t h i n g :I n t h e m o d e r ne r a , g i r l s P u t t h e i r c e l l p h o n e si n t h e i r v a g i n ao n v i b r a t o rm o d e . T h e y a s k t h e i r t b o y f r i e n d o r i n g t h e i r p h o n e .T h i s i s c a l l e d E - F u c k .l f o t h e r sc a l l t h e m ,i t ' s c a l l e dE - R a p e .

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Wildthing!

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aregrowing wildl" Ronald Kessel, email by

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w h a t e v e r e l i k e do n t h e w i n d o w . h e h T A c o n t r a c t ow h o h a d b e e nc o n f i n e d r o l d m a n t h e n t o l d t h e p r i e s ti n a f i r m { o r a b o u ta m o n t h w a s d y i n g , h e T a n d s t e a d yv o i c el u s t w h a t h e w a n t e d : m a n ' sw i f e a s k e dt h e p a r i s hp r i e s tt o " l n h o n o ro f J u a n D e l aC r u z , h o d i e d w v i s i th e r h u s b a n di n t h e h o s p i t aa n d l l i k eC h r i s t . . . b e t w et w o t h i e v e s l ' en t r y t o p u t h i m i n t o a m o r es p i r i t u a l Oanvin Cortez, email by f r a m e o f m i n d .T h e p r i e s tc a m e a n d t a l k e dt o t h e o l d m a n ,I n t h e c o u r s eo f t h e c o n v e r s a t i o nh e p r i e s ts u g g e s t e d T h r e et r i b e s m e n r e b e i n g p u n i s h e d t, a that the man make a donationto b y t h e r rl e a d e r',A s c o n s e q u e n c eh'e l t h e c h u r c hi n a t o n e m e n t f h i s s i n s . o t e l l st h e m ," y o u h a v et o b r i n gm e 1 0 T h e c h u r c hn e e d e da s t a i n e d - g l a s s f r u i t so f t h e s a m e k i n d l 'J u a n c o m e s w i n d o w , e s a i d .H e e v e n p r o m i s e d h f i r s t w i t h 1 Os a n t o l " N o w p u t t h e m . t o a l l o wt h e m a n t o i n s c r i b e n t h e o i n s i d ey o u r a n u s | t h e l e a d e rs a y s . 'Anyone b o t t o mo f t h e w i n d o wa n y t h i n g e h w h o l a u g h so r c r i e si s g o i n g l i k e d , n d t h a t t h i s p e r p e t u am e m o r i a l t o g e t k i l l e d lF e e l i n g h e f i r s t s a n t o l , a l ' t w o u l d c o s t o n l y P 5 0 , 0 0 0 .A t t h a t Juan cries, etsshotwith arrows g p o i n tt h e d o c t o rc a m e i n a n d s t a d r e d a n d d i e s o n t h e s p o t .P e d r oc o m e s m a k i n go u t t h e b i l lf o r t a k i n gc a r e o f n e x t w i t h 1O g r a p e f r u i t s . a r e f u l l y , e C h t h e p a t i e n tf o r t h e p a s tt w o m o n t h s , i n s e r t se a c h g r a p er n h i s a n u s ,u n t i l T h e b i l lc a m e t o a l m o s tP 2 , 0 0 0 , 0 0 0 , h e r e a c h e s h e n r n t hp i e c e , h e r e h e t w a t w h i c ht h e p o o r o l d m a n a l m o s th a d b u r s t sw i t h l a u g h t e rI.n s t a n t l y ,e g e t s h a s t r o k e .H e w r o t et h e c h e c kf o r t h e k i l l e d L a t e rJ u a n a n d P e d r om e e t . d o c t o r w h i l et h e p r i e s tr e m i n d e d i m , h i n h e a v e n " Y o uw e r e o n y o u r n i n t h . o f h i s p r o m i s e o a l l o w h i m t o i n s c r i b e g r a p e , o u a l m o s tc h e a t e dd e a t h l t y

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The badly nun, needing the touse restroom, into local walked a Hooters, H o l e s i n t h e w a l l A guy'scar breaksdown in the mic: = place hopping music The was with of town. He finds a smallhotel and and contlersation, loud and BVery walks in. He asks the man at the onceawhile lights in the would counter, "Do you haveany rooms turn Each this off, time happens, available?" man at the counter The says,"Yes. But in your room you will place erupt cheers, the t,votlld into find three holes. not to stick any Try However,the when revelers saw part of your body in theml'The guy the the went silent. nun, room dead agreesand walks to his room.A She walked the trp to bartender, coupleof days laterhe startsto get "May and asked, I pleasethe use curiousabout the holes.He sticks restroom?" The bartender reolied. h i s d i c k i n t h e f i r s to n e .' A h h ,t h a t "0K, I should you there f e e l sg o o d ! "H e t h e n s t i c k sh i s d i c k but r,varn that in the secondhole.'Ahh,that feels isastatuea naked inthere of man even betterl" Then he stickshis dick "Well,that wearing afigleafl' in only i n t h e t h i r dh o l ea n d c r i e si n p a i n . e H case, look other l'llju$ the way,"saidquicklypullshis bloodydick out.After the So bartender nun the showed gettingtreatment, goes to the hotel he the tothe ofthe nun back restaurant. counterto ask what were in the holes, After few but before he could ask anythingthe a minutes, came she back man said,"Youstuck your dick in the out, the place and whole $opped three holes,didn'tyou?"He said,"Yes, ju$long enotlgh the a togive nun and how did you know?"The man loud ofapplause,went round She to at the countersaid,"Becausenoq the bartender "Sir, and said, I don't my wife is pregnani, daughteris my understand,did applaud pregnant, my pencilsharpeneris Why they and for just me because tothe brokenl' I went Andrew UoydTodio, email by restroom?""Well, now know they y0u're ofus," the 0ne said baftender, "Would like drink?""No you a thank you, | $ill t understand," btlt, don said puzzled"You the nun see,' 'every laughedbartender, time the someone figleaf that lifts the on go Now, statue, lights out. how the about drink?" that
James Concepcion, T. byemail

26 FHM

MAY 2008 www.fhm.com.ph

05/08 ) GAMES FILMS DYD MUSIC BtI(IKS TY

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What it's about: Local MMO - o n o l i t h e - G a m e sg i v e s I n t e r n e t t : a f e s h u t - i n s h e c h a n c et o d = r p e r i e n c e i s c o l i g h t sa n d : J r -a t i n gb o d i e s w i t h o u t V :y ' -avingto abandon the : o m f o r to f t h e i rd a r k , - o p e l e s s l yd a n k c a v e s a r d t h e i r d a i l yr o u t i n e r f b u r y i n gt h e i r o w n v e s i n t ot h e g r o u n d . )ance Battle Audition s a n o t h e rr h y t h m i c c u t t o n - m a s h eirn t h e . a l l - t o o - f a m i l i t rr d i t i o n aa : f t i t l e sl i k e D a n c e )ance Revolution, Bust A G r o o v ea n d e v e r y o t h e r b s u b s e q u e n t a s t a r dc h i l d n t h e i r b l a r i n gm u s i c a l , v a k e f o l l o w i n gt h e w e l l , (nown customof cussing o u t f l a s h i n ga r r o w s t o t h e tuneof bubblypop muzak. " " ,i T h e g a m e h a s a c t u a l l yb e e n o n t h e l o c a l o n l i n es c e n e s i n c e 2 0 0 6 , b u t recent updatesand patches have made it a far sweeter package now. What's good about it= Audition gets major props and points v . for the deliciously aried s re r v o mo u o a i . ' Jf l I, o ve lverc rtri o n v r f r r r v u d e s o n d ? , f g a m e s t y l e s ,r a n g i n g b u r n i n gy o u r c a s h i n t h i s g a m e i s t h r o u g ht h e i t e m m a l l ,w h i c h c a t e r s b t o y o u r i n n e rf a s h i o n i s t a y l e t t i n g y o u d r e s s u p y o u r c h a r a c t e rw i t h o increasingly utlandish utfits o i n t r u e M M O f o r m .Y o u c a n b u y c o s t u m e p i e c e s h e r e e i t h e rw i t h D e n , t h e g a m e ' s c u r r e n c y ,o r l w i t h e - G a m e se - P o i n t s . f y o u ' r e t h e t y p e w h o g e t s t i n g l y ' i nt h e i r u s p e c i a lp l a c e sf r o m l e v e l i n g p a n d c o m p a r i n ge - w a n g s ,t h e n License Mode awaitsyou with its t . e x p e r i e n c e r e a d m i l l sB e s t o f a l l g f o r t h e m u s i c - l o v r n m a s s e s ,t h e s o n g s e l e c t i o na l s o b o a s t s O P M tracks,so go ahead and enjoythe m n u a n c e da n d f r o l i c k i n g e l o d i e s o f " P a m e l aO n e ! " P r e f e r a b l y somewhere very, very far away from us. What's bad about it: Like o t h e r t i t l e s i n t h i s g e n r e ,A u d i t i o n i s a n e x c e l l e n tw a y t o t w i s t y o u r f i n g e r s a n d a f f l i c t y o u r s e l fw i t h

Y o u ' r ea l s o g i v e n a n o p t i o n t o c r e a t e y o u r o w n p l a y r o o ma n d p a s s w o r d - p r o t e c ti t f r o m r a n d o m t r o l l s ,v e r y m u c h a w e l c o m e f e a t u r ef o r t h o s e e l i t i s t p r i c k s who want to stick with their c i r c l e o f d r i n k i n gb u d d i e sa n d avoid being hit on by creepy p r e d a t o r s p r e t e n d i n gt o b e g i r l s .T h e m a i n m e t h o d o f

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w a n k e r ' sc r a m p , g i v i n g c r e d e n c e t o t h e n o t i o nt h a t y o u ' d b e b e t t e r o f f s h a k i n gy o u r o u t s i z e da r s e i n s o m e a c t u a l d a n c i n g .W h a t passesfor depth is watching a marbleroll back and forth on a s t r a i g h t l i n e ,a n d j a b b i n g y o u r spacebarat the precise moment f o r t h a t s h i n y P E R F E C Ts t i c k e r o n y o u r f o r e h e a d .l t ' s r a t h e r a m u s i n g to watch in multiplayer hen w s o m e o n ef u m b l e st h e i r f i n g e r i n g and stands around lookinglikea p i l l o c k ,w h i l e t h e r e s t o f t h e t e a m keeps flowingtogetheras smoothly a s b u t t e r ,i n f l a w l e s s h a r m o n v .

T h e g a m e p l a yl a c k s t h e o o m p h of something like Guifar Hero but r e p l a yv a l u e i s d e f i n i t e l yt h e r e . Much like 02 Jam,this one only w i t h s l e e k e rd a n c e m o v e s . Our verdict: In spite of its quirks, A u d i t i o n i s s t i l l a f a i r l yd e c e n t a n d r e c o m m e n d a b l er h y t h m r o m p t h a t you can enjoywith your friends. Y o u ' d p r o b a b l y h a v et h e m o s t f u n p l a y i n gt o g e t h e r i n t h e s a m e r o o m , o r w i t h r u n n i n ga v o i c e c h a t a p p a t t h e s a m e t i m e , t o m a i n t a i nt h e t i m e - h o n o r e dr i t u a lo f r u i n i n g e a c h o t h e r ' s c o n c e n t r a t i o nf o r t h o s e c h e a p g i g g l e s .* * * * *

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Who? Harrison Fotd (iconic), Shia LaBeoul (greaser), Cate (evil hottie) Blanchett What's it about? The sight o f h i s w e a t h e r e df e d o r a h a t , l e a t h e rj a c k e t , a n d w h i p m a k e s u s w a n t t o b e g e n e r o u sw i t h t h e s u p e r l a t i v e sb e i n g t h e i c o n i c f l i c k , t h a t i t i s .T h i s o u t i n gh a p p e n s1 9 y e a r s l a t e r ,I n d y ( F o r d ) , h a v i n g a q u i e t l i f e a s a p r o f e s s o r ,i s b a c k f o r a n o t h e r a d v e n t u r e ,H i s n e w q u e s t i n v o l v e sa c r y s t a l s k u l l ,t h e M a y a n c i v i l i z a t i o na n d a w i c k e d h o t , . R u s s i a nd e t e c t i v e( B l a n c h e t t ) H i s n e w a d v e n t u r et a k e s h i m a c r o s s N e w M e x i c o ,C o n n e c t i c u t ,M e x i c o City, and the jungles of Peru. What's good about it? The film had Ford doing most of his stunts, i t u s e d l e s s C G l , a n d t h e r e ' l lb e a c o u p l e o f w i s e c r a c k s( s o m e a b o u t I n d y ' sa g e ) . l t w i l l h a v ey o u c r a v i n gf o r o l d J o n e s f l i c k s . What's bad about it? Sean Connery turned down a cameo a p p e a r a n c ea s I n d y ' s d a d H e n r y J o n e s ,S r . The verdict: Set up a tent outside t h e t h e a t e r s ,y o u b e t t e r b e t h e r e first. *{t{<{r{t

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SPEED RACER
Who? EmileHirsch (adrenalrne * j unke Ehristina Rtcci (flashy i ), stunner), Matthew tox (speed frenzy) What's it about?This cult classic racingextreme about to levels isprobably the reason 20some and 30-somethings ifthey on drive as re Mach Now 5 revived big for the screen by lheMatrix's the Wachowski brothers guessing willend asanother we're this up classic lt could growbreednew even a of deadlier freaks racing Useful/useless The hit: late grunge legend Cobain a rock Kurt was huge Racer Speed buff

THECHHONICLES OFNARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN

Who? William Moseley (angsty) Anna Popplewell(upright), Ben Barnes (flerce) What's it about?Apparently one year 0tlrw0rld years in c0nverts1300 to i nN a r nTa a t sn o utgmfe r h e ih e t h ot extinctionNarnias of Age for Golden and a villainous tograb tnrone bloke the Also enough forthePevens 0sr0grow time ?, aninch orderfight i, :..e0 in to forces the plague mysticalnsc' liarn that the rea a U s e f u l / u s e l e sb i t : T ' ' :i l a ' e n s s r inthls were tobe :: ,',::' film said a . t h atn aitnt h e o o k s t ' : s's " : : z ' / . 2 . h b to t o no ft h e e q u*e l* * * e s *

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Who? Robert Downey lr. (sobeI, GwynethPaltrow (still hunched) What's it about?He not as may be btg Superman orSpider-man as Batman grantedown franchise tobe his film but lron isa troubled-en0tlgh [/an superher0 who deservesnoticedwhat also tobe So else makes flick this deserving ofyour practically attention? theres Well Downey p0rtraying as rich himself this guy b r r m m t ntga l e n tl t r s a t t r ia n wi h t b b ng addiction Useful/useless After bit: working with Downey flick inthis director Jon Favreau expressed inworking interest with the as0ne the actor 0f characters inan Avenqers {c{c{c{r movle {c

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Ihe first iruring, which was starred by the same cast, dabbled on puzzlers about the declaration of independence.

Who: Nicolas Cage (hunte); Diane Kruger (treasure) W h a t ' s i t a b o u t : T h i s i n n i n gi s t h e s e q u e l t o t h e 2 0 0 4 f i l m , b r i n g i n gb a c k t r e a s u r e - h u n t e r B e n G a t e s ( C a g e ) o n a n o t h e rm i s s i o nt o u n c o v e r t h e r e a l d i r t o n L i n c o l n ' sa s s a s s i n a t i o nF r o m t h e . O u e e n ' s s t u d y i n L o n d o n t o t h e O v a l o f f i c e ,t h e

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D o l b ya n d w i d e s c r e e n f e a t u r e s . n d s h o u l dy o u A want to brushup on y o u r F r e n c h ,i t c o m e s i n t h a t s u b t i t l e ,t o o . Verdict: Not nearlv as good as its preoecessor, b u t i t ' s s t i l la gooo excuse to skip work for when you just don't feel likeit.

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This very be could well ls there scene any that themost chaotic movie doesn't a human show you'll see. human ever No getting killed?! blood gore, a and just lotofincomprehensible extratenestrial screeching here there. and

It doesn't surprise me thata titlethisstupid is a Paris Hilton starrer. Hottie nottie, refuse or I to dignify movie my this with thoughts. street My cred is at stake!

I seriously I lost think a million couple ofbrain cells just sitting from through this movie. more lt's like a 90-minute Hilton Paris advertisement.

It flopped badly box- Ahhh,know so in I original version records were offige there of this, Dida. Pido reportedly anaverage only per of 28people theater whosaw movie its the on opening weekend.

Parallel Pirate world. shios. Armored I was bears. too gleeful watching, while I might well worn as have bunny and ears clapped with delightthroughout. all

Nicole Kidman more looks likea goddess a than get villain here.stillcan't I over Gruise Tom dumping her uh. .never for, . mind.

This the is second movie thatstaned Nicole Kidman Daniel together, and Craig the other being movie lhe lnvasion. were Both also year, released same inthe 2007.

WhenBoy I Scout in Grade I use 3, compass in camping Mt.Makiling. in I getlost day for because I don't know compass why point N. keep to

There a slight is possibilitytearing ol up midway through watching. I'llbethefirstto admit thatyes, men real shed tears. hand that So me pack tissue, ya? of will

No matter old gets how he John Cusack the isstill ultimate sweethearl forme. Hecould playinqgreatbe a grandfather bet and my I salary still hearls! he'd melt

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girlfriend I have before name Grace. leave for She me magbababalut kanto.to in nexl Jograd. and I cry listen l to April forone Boy month. o a Grace Jograd 12 O and have children in last10years. now
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Okay, Rex. Clue us in on the band. What must we know? R e x h a s e x i s t e df o r a b o u t a y e a r and a halfnow.Last 2005, I r e l e a s e da s e l f - t i t l e d o l o d e b u t E P s which was producedby Grammyw i n n i n gp r o d u c e r / e n g i n e e J,o e r ( C h i c c a r e l l i U 2 , F r a n kZ a p p a , E l t o nJ o h n ) .T h e m u s i c i a n s h o w playedon the EP includedWarren C u c c u r u l l oo f D u r a n D u r a n ,L y l e W o r k m a nw h o ' s c u r r e n t l y n S t i n g , i J u s t i nM e l d a lJ o h n s o no f B e c k , JoeyWaronker of REM. Eventually t h e E P m o r p h e di n t o a f u l l - l e n g t h band effort,2007's Act Natural, They're Watching was mixed by Geza X of BlackFlag. The band is named after the vocals/front person of a band. Has this been an issue with the rest of the band? T h a t w o u l d b e m e , R e xo n v o c a l s , " T h e K i n g , "t h a n k y o u v e r y m u c h . I n t e r m s o f m e g e t t i n ga l l t h e a t t e n t i o n I ' m a l w a y sr e m i n d i n gm y , g u i t a rp l a y e rA b h i n a va n d b a s s playerDee that I'm the king here and that I run the show. What I say goes.Ha ha ha! Your sound is very different from the current post-punk wave. All arrows point to retro L.A., which is where you're from. ls this a conscious effort to distinguish yourself from everybody else? Or is this really just how your music turned out? I t h i n kt o o m a n y g o o d b a n d s a r e l o s t i n t h e m i x b e c a u s et h e v a r e p l a y i n gi t s a f e . Y o u h a v et o b e w i l l i n gt o d o w h a t y o u t h i n k i s c o o l , e n t e r t a i n i n ga n d n o t w o r r y a b o u t , w h a t c r i t i c i s my o u m i g h t r e c e i v e . f l you want to stand out on your own, d o n ' t b e a f r a i dt o l e t t h e t r u e a r t i s t i n s i d eo f y o u c o m e o u t , o t h e r w i s e , f o l l o wt h e h e r d . M y m u s i c h a s i t s o w n i d e n t i t yb e c a u s e m y a r t i s t r y i s f r e e t o f l y w h e r e v e ri t oesrres.

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Author lllustrator: and Oavid B. (fAssociation) An accountof the a u t h o r ' sc h i l d h o o d spent with his e p i l e p t i cb r o a n d h i s f a m i l y ' sf u t i l e and tragic attempts to find a cure. The s y m b o l i ci m a g e s herecomolement its internalnarrative, showing us a poetic a n d u n i q u ea s p e c t o f w h a t t h e m e d i u mc a n achieve.The matterof-fact narrationis backed up by pictures that are layeredwith lush imagery, aking m t h e s u p e r n a t u r alle a p i n t o t h e r e a lw o r l d .

THECOMPLETE PERSEPOLIS
Author lllustmtor: and Ma{ane Satrapi (Pantheon) Persepolis is the new Maus. Already ( a brilliant and Oscar-nominated) film adaptation, t h e g r a p h i cn o v e l , p originally ublished in two parts, is a m e m o i ro f a g i r l ' s c o m i n g - o f - a g en h e r i h o m e l a n d ,l r a n .A n d for us readers,it's a quickand interesting h i s t o r yl e s s o no n t h e Middle Eastas well. This series,which was o r i g i n a l l y u b l i s h e di n p two-parts, gives us a unique look at history

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Author lllustrator: and David Lapham ( E lC a p i t aB o o k s ) n David Lapham is sick, in a sort of Quentin T a r a n t i n oa n d R o b e r r Rodriguez-ish ay. w I t ' s g r i m ,i t ' s b l o o d y , and damnwell not f o r c h i l d r e n .S t r a y Bullet's first issue h a s a h i t m a nf a l l i n gi n lovewith the corose that he's supposed to be disposing. he T s e c o n d i s s u eh a s g r a d e s c h o o lc h i l d r e n beatingeach other to t h e d e a t h .S e e m i n g l y s t a n d a l o n es t o r i e s t i e up in darklybrilliant ways.

JIMMY CORRIGAN: STRANGE A DAY THESMARTEST A u t h o rl :l a m o n u r d , H I{IDONEARTH l l l u s t r a t oT:a t i a nG i l l r a

A u t h oa n dl l l u s t r a t o r : r Chris Ware (Pantheon) The amountof detail put on this book will drive you crazy or, al t h e v e r y l e a s t ,c a n turn you obsessivec o m p u l s i v e .N o t h i n g r e a l l ys t r i k i n ga t f i r s t g l a n c e ,i t ' s a d r a m a about an estranged f a t h e ra n d s o n . W h a t makes Jimmy Corrigan s p e c i a li s C h r i s Ware's jaw-dropping way of playing with the comic book form t o d e l i v e rm e a n i n g f u l storytelling. ( A l t e r n a t iC e r n i c s ) vo H e r e ' sa q u i c k r o u n o up: Guy skipsschoo to wait outside a local music store for The Cure's newest album. W h i l e t h e r e ,g u y e n d s u p h o o k i n gu p w i t h g i r l ,w h i c h t u r n s o u t t o h a v ea s i m i l a ri n t e r e s t . They sharethe day in witty banterand Robert Smith lyrics. l f y o u ' r ei n t o s o m e l i g h tp a g e - f l i p p i n g , opt for this one. lt's a f e e l - g o o ds h o r t read,a definite must for new wave fanboys.

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BLACI{ HOLE
Author lllustrator: and Gharles Burns (Kitchen Press) Sink In this graphicnovel, the story revolves a r o u n dT h e B u g . l t ' s what they call the disease that targets t e e n a g e r s ,m a k i n g them butt uglyand e v e n t u a l l yu r n i n gt h e m t into social outcasts. Kind of likesuperacne but with your skin turning a different color and growing extra appendages. Reads like an old s c i - f i f l i c k ,c r e e p y a n d d i s q u i e t i n ga n d , exploresthe depths of o u r j u v e n i l ee m o s o u l s .
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Becausethephenomena of Entourage created, they came withan Entourage out juicy book includes that details behind series. the

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HBO MAY 5, MONDAY 10 P.M Who? Adrien Grenier (curly), Kevin C o n n o l l y ( s e r i o u s ) ,K e v i nD i l l o n (daft), Jeremy Piven (wore) What's it about? We've seen the s o m e t i m e sa s i n i n ec r e w o f s h o w b i z " i t " b o y V i n c e n tC h a s e ( G r e n i e d p a r a d et h r o u g ht h e g l i t z yL A s c e n e , l i v i n gt h e H o l l y w o o dh i g h - l i f e N o w , . t h e s t a k e s a r e m u c h h i g h e r ,O t h e r t h a n s o m e s e r i o u sb o n d i n g c l a s h e s , a major career step up for Chase h a p p e n sa s t h e M e d e l l i nf i l m p r o j e c t is finallyunderway, What's good about it? Expect more guest stars to add fizz to the series: M. Night Shyamalan, Dennis Hopper, Snoop Dogg, and Anthony Michael Hall, among others. What's bad about it? Fictionalego trips, lovely celebrity lasses, Hollywood glam, and other elitist excesses can't be allthat bad. So we love it. The verdict: lf la-la-land's cosmetically enhanced chicks (hoveringover Chase) can't get your eyes fixed on the screen, we don't know what will,

cHUCI{
PREMIERES t|N AXN Who? lachary (nerd) Leui What's it about?hpionage just got tad macho-no 0 codes a less double and British accents ju$ your here arlerage, schoolboy unif0rm-wearing who lI geek may etlen remotely toIhe be related 47-yearold Vigin.Fron a humdrum he life turned into thegovernment'spowerftll rlveapon most Makes r,vantsend 'Forgive goodie us t0 a Me' bag those bullied school to we inhigh Fastfacts: Inone scene Moroan Grimes a messenger has bag with:Tyrell g Corp Genetic Engineering ASection Zone Replication onit.A reference Section tothe corporation center Blade atthe ol Runner.

(li|AXN PREMIERES Who? Lee (doe Pace eyed)Anna Friel (resurrected) What'sit about?Invaporub lingo a nurttlring can y0llr from touch ease self anannoying kid whining Pushtng little s ln (mag ) Darsres ontheother ca nand. world a single can touch revivefin off or sh a being.ita loud mara.,etor19 be harry dog. 0ralvo0ly mammoth l,il ,ronder [r1akes what happens a vaporub lhe when ,,, ir same comes effect out Fastfacts: The has ::- i show a book version features i:,s:i'is that tte\,/ and background shovrr .^' TV info not :ep des iso

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SMASH LAB
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Samsung Armani P520 Moto had Dolce and Gabbana, L G h a d P r a d a ,a n d n o w S a m s u n g h a s t h e l a t e s tm a r r i a g e o f f a s h i o n a n d t e c h n o l o g yw i t h the Armani phone.Quite simply the phone is, well, pretty-but it goes for a price that will cost y o u a n A r m ( a n i )a n d a l e g , B o a s t i n ga f u l l 2 . 6 - i n c h t o u c h s c r e e n ,t h e P 5 2 O i s a breakfrom Samsung'susual s t r i d e . T h e o n l y p h y s i c a lk e y s i n front are the two call and answer b u t t o n s , e v e r y t h i n gi s v i r t u a la n d can be accessed only through t h e L C D . M e n u s a r e n e a t l yl a i d out with a color scheme that c o m p l i m e n t st h e A r m a n i p h o n e ' s A-listaura. Price: P45,000 www.samsung.com.Ph

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T h e s t y l i s h , r a d i t i o n ac o l o r s n a v y b l u e , b l a c ka n d t l gray are always no-failoptions for business suits. S p i c e u p t h e s u i t e n s e m b l eb y c h o o s i n g l i v e l i e r c o l o r s f o r y o u r b u t t o n - d o w ns h i r t - m a u v e ,l i g h t b l u e , p u r p l e ,a n d y e l l o w a r e m o r e c o l o r f u lo p t i o n s that can go with any suit color. Blue long-sleeved shir1, dress P1,599.75, coat matching gray and slacks, P5,999.75,blue tie, and slim P358, from all Ondsimus at Robinsons Department black Store; shoes, P2,380, Bristol at Robinsons Department Store

S t i c k t o l i g h t w e i g h tt r a v e lc l o t h e s , f o r t h e p a r t i c u l a rr e a s o n t h a t i t ' s a n e m b a r r a s s m e n tf o r a n y g u y t o h a v e e x c e s s b a g g a g e .A l s o , c h o o s e a w r i n k l e - f r e e ,a r r y - o n a c k e t t o l o o k p o l i s h e d j c a f t e r a l o n g f l i g h t .A s c a r f i s a l s o a g r e a t c o m p a n i o n ,e s p e c i a l l y n c o l d c o u n t r i e s . i t B l u e u t t od o w n h i r tP 6 4 9 . 7 5 ,d r a j a c k eP,1 , 5 5 9 . 7 5 . b n s , an g y p7g5 both Pisanti Robinsons at Department gray Store; scarf, T o p m a n ; e aw h i t eu b b e r o e P,l , 4 9 9 , 2 0 t R o b i n s o n s oc n r sh s H a Department Store

lf you'renot the type who wears long-sleeves o r c a r d i g a n s ,a k n i t t e d t o p i s t h e p e r f e c t g e t - u p f o r y o u . K n i t t e dp i e c e s a r e a l r e a d yg a i n i n g p o p u l a r i t yi n o f f i c e s t h a t d o n o t r e q u i r e p o w e r d r e s s i n g .W h e n w e a r i n g k n i t t e dt o p s , g o f o r subtle shades like black or gray to createa d r a m a t r cs t a t e m e n t . B l a ctk pa b o u t 2 0 0 00 n 6 s i m u s R o b i n s o n sp a r t m e n t o , P , , at De e S t o r e :a vjy a n s , 7 7 9 . 7 5o m p a n ya t R o b i n s o ne p a r t m e n l n P C, B Ds S t o r e : h o eP , , 3 8B r i s t oa t R o b i n s o ne o a r t m S no r e S s2 0, l Ds et t

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Apl.De.Apmeans what exactly? The first part are my initials; my real name is Allan Pineda Lindo. e means'of'and P is D A Angeles,Pampanga. that's So what it is. A short abbreviation for AllanPinedaLindoof Angeles, Pampanga. Do you really call each other in the Black-Eyed Peas by stage name? Yeah,we reallydo. lt even gets shorter:they me Ap. We call call Taboo,Tab.Fergie,Fergand Will, wiil. Being famous and all, can you recall the craziest thing a fan has done to get your attention? The ladiessometimes flashtheir boobs at me.That happensin almosteveryshow duringthe Warpedtour eventwe did. lt's likea rocktour but we'rethe onlyhip-hop band.So, that'sthe craziest far. so Ever considered hooking up with a fan, maybe? Well, I can't say since I haven't hookedup with a fan yet. But there are local celebrities that I find very prettyand interesting. Therewere times when I get tongue-tiedHa ha ha! What made you decide to tell your story to the world? That was becausewhen lwas from my familywhen separated I went to the US, and the'APL Song" was kind of a balita.lt was kind of liketellingmy people what was going on with me in the States,the news about me. "The APL Song" was quite a revealing piece. What did the rest of the Black Eyed Peas think about it? Actually, ljust thoughtof showing it to them one day.I sang it and they were,like,"Yo,you shouldput that in the albuml'youknow lt was interesting them becausethat's for the firsttime they heardTagalog in a rap.Theyappreciatedit. Also, there's that jeepney in the "Bebot" vid, but it was shot in the States. How did you score the ride? We found that jeep in Las Vegas 2008www.fhm.com.ph 52 FHM MAY

so we drove it back to LA. That was my requestactuallybecause originallywantedto film in the I Philippines we settledfor but a jeep instead. we ended So up searching aroundthe whole Westsideand found one in Vegas.Oh, and I'm actuallygonna buy that jeep for myself. Would you rather hook up with a bebot then? Um, I don't discriminate I but would reallyprefera Filipina if girl I want to hook up with someone. I like bebofs.Ha ha ha! Really? Yeah,becausethey'revery malambing. And it's likeyou can dependon a Filipina To most girl. bebots,it doesn't reallymatterif you havemoney, you know.Well, that'swhat I've noticedwith my ex-girlfriends. they can cook, And too. So you're not into white girls? Well, I've also been in long relationships with Americangirls and it's not reallydifferent. all lt's good, too, but if givena chance, I'd ratherchooseto be with a Filipina becauseI likecertain traits that they have. Say,there's a bebot that you're eyeing for. How do you get her to notice?

HikingSocietyup to the modern stuff like ParokyaNi Edgar, Bamboo, Gloc 9. I likethem.I to also reallylike Gloc 9's rappingin Tagalog. You've been in some of Manny Pacquiao'sfights. We're guessing you worship the guy. Well, I'veseen all of them actually and the lastone I walkedhim out. good. He's a good He's really boxer. Was there ever an instance you actually felt ashamed to be called Pinoy? Not at all. I'vealwaysbeen proud of who I am. I thinkcomingfrom growingin the the Philippines, US, that reallykept me humble and groundeduntilnow. It's obvious you're attached to your Pinoy roots. But can you still.eat maybe,tuyo or bagoong and actually like it? Oh yes,ha ha! | likethem.I like tuyo, tinapa, daing, bagoong. I eat them until now.There'sa stock of that in my fridgein the US. And are you still familiar with cuss words in our language? Oh yeah,I still know how to say sira u/oand allthosewords,ha ha hal You're going solo now with this new album in the works. What Ganwe expect in this one?

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the US.
Well, I try to be very romantic aboutit. Maybelwould ask her for a date and treat her to a nice meal.I think it's important treat to her special.You should be very respectful a Filipina. to What do you really think about the local music scene? I'm quite updatedreally. Other thanAsin,which is a big influence, like Florante, I Apo

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It's a self-titled album.lt talks aboutthe Philippines, the hardships and the beautyof the country.Ferg is featuredin my albumas well as Will.l.am, and also BillyCrawfordand a lot more collaborations.haveno definite I date yet but it will come out sometimethis year. Would you ever consider a career in acting?

Actually ljust did a stint in a movie called Subject: I Love You whereI'm supposedto be this wise kalesadriver.So there,I gave the lead rolesa ride around Intramuros and gavethem some sound advice.lt's great. That's just a cameo. How about doing it for real? Well, I don't know about that but I'm planning do an to autobiography movie.I've been talkingto people about it. So let's just see what happens. Fergie,Will and yourself seem to be busy doing solo stints. Does this mean it's the end of the Black Eyed Peas? No! The rumorsaren'ttrue.Right now we'rejust busydoingour projectsto set us individual apartas individuals. even We collaborate with each other.Right now a new Black Eyed Peas album is in the works so that's a bad rumor;we're not breakingup. What's it like being around Fergie? ls she as hot in person as she is in her videos? Well,we treat her like our sister and she talks to me about girl stuff,girl mattersand allthat, but you know,she's hot. Definitely! And afever we get to bump into her,what can we do to impress her? Ha ha! Well,you know what she hates.lt turns her off when a guy goes gaga at the sight of her,you know like some guys wouldjust shoutout, "Oh Fergie, I loveyou!"What she likesare flowersand fine dinnersand nice conversations, gentleman all stuff. 9 J She's a bit of a romantic. f We hear you find Luningningof o Wowowee stunning... z Ha ha ha! She's pretty.There o are a lot of prettygirls in the :J Philippines she was the only and one I could remember duringthat I time,so there.But she can dance, t she can definitely dance.You v know,that's attractive. Oh, and I she can do the splittoo! (L lnterview by CharmaineZ. Chanco

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on the cover of a men,s to work with DirekMaryoJ. Delos magazine-are new to you. Reyes.Mas mahirap umarte, kasi Yes.I'vebeen into modeling since sa shots puwedeng snapshots 2002.ldid ramp, commercials lang, unlikesa movies,gumagalaw TV and some shootsfor magazinessryla dapateverymove,every so tween mags like Candy. And expression natural. now l'm on FHMI Ha ha! Well.I What is your role here, by the think nag-mature yung mukha na way? ko, so hindi na ako puwede sa I play manang na naiVetapos pambatan magazines. g Also, biglang nagloko sa asawa. beforethis photoshoot ljoined the You haveto feel you are the Be Bench modelsearch, then I but character, you are that person.At was the third one to be eliminated. first nahirapanako kasi I never Up till now, we still don't get expected would be doinga sexy I why the judges didn,t pick you role.MauiTaylor told me it's make et's get thingsstraight: Doesour as the grand winner... or break. Kailangan kong ibigay covergirl makeyou horny? lt's just that I thinkhindi ako lahat, pero nung ginagawa ko "By hellshe should,otherwise napiga.Nung auditionkasi yunglove scenes,hindi ko kinaya. you'd defeatyour own purpose punung-punoako ng confidence, Could that be good news for entirely!" Socrateses the among pero sa competition itselfunfrus? Please expound. you would retort.And you'd be unting nauubosyung confidence I thinkI have,like,four lovescenes right.We are, anyway, askingthis ko. But I'm thankfultobe part of and two torridkissingscenes!Dun question because want to not we the top 12. Froma thousand a to ako rnedyo natakot perol was able get AN answer, because but our hundred, 50, 30 and down to to to do them naman,so thankGod. newlyunearthed treasure, Precious 12. lt was okayna rin kasimedyo Yes, thank God you have four Adona,is aboutto be launched like nakilala ako. Nagulatako may mga love scenes! a rocketfrom a bottle in theaters Friendster account akong hindi Ha ha! througha sexyflick called Torotot ako ang gumawa.Sa YouTube, if Did you do proper researchthis month.And you know how dati "Be Bench"yung sine-search i.e., watching porn or sexy "torotot"translates English, to ko, now if ltype my own namemay flicks-before jumping into the right? searchresultsna. lfeel likeI'm scenes? "Horn." Yes.But enoughof our getting there.Malakingbagay sa No...Although seenUnfaithful, I've lazyjournalism. Moviegoers should akin yung pagsaliko sa contest.In OriginalSrn,and the like before. be gearingup at this time to see most placesI go, I get recognized. OriginalSrn has the most the 23-year-old ex-BeBench Any vital learning you'd want memorable sexyscene for me so modelsearchcontestantbare to instill in other would.be far-when AntonioBanderas and moreof herself the big screen. on contestants? Angelina Joliewere makinglove. "Best friend ko si Maui flaylorl I can't say for cedain,ha ha!Thisis I don't know if lwas that good,or rifo," she explains. "Parehas may onlythe first contestI hadjoined. kung lumabas na sexy talagayung flawsyung asawa namin,so To me, ljust learned how to be ginawa ko. One of my costars nagloko kami, nanorotot kami!' patient. learned I how to accept eventofd me,"Alam mo, wala So hereright beforeyou,an defeat. kang kalibog-libog sa katawan!' overgenerous previewof better Speaking of defeat, did any So perhaps you could tell it thingsto come.Everybody honk catfights occur backstage? yourself: Wala nga ba? your hornsfor Precious! Ah wala, neverakong nagkaAy, hindi ko nga alam eh, ha ha! problema sa mga kasamako Kasiparang may pagka-childishpa kasi I'm easyto get alongwith. rin ako, isip-bata. way I move, The You got quite a good drizzle Sometimes also bad kasithey it's the way I speak,I can say I am still there! Feeling cold now? tend to abuseyou. immature. Hindi masyado kasimedyo tense tHornst din ako.The water was, actually, just rightl Where do you think will Let's talk about the title... What was running in your mind people's eyes wander Torotot could either mean the whole time the crew was when they see this on the a horn or an act of adultery. spraying water on your body? newsstands? Which one does it pertain to? I was a bit nervousbecause Hopefufly, eyes, kasinag-exert my Sa movie, can be a horn.like it the firsttime I met Doc (the talaga ako ng efforLdun. Sana the one you use,or duringthe photographer),thought baka I mata talaga,hindi yung ibang earlytimes,a term kapag niloko sobrang galing niya, bakahindi ko mata.Hahal ka ng asawa mo. Kapag lalaki ma-meetyung expectations ninyo. And how would you describe nanloko, nangaliwa; kapag babae, But he is in fact SO good that he your, er, "primary,' eyes? nanorotot. give you an idea, To showedme the emotions should I My eyes are veryexpressive. best friend ko si Maui rito, parehas depict sa shots niya, kaya nadalian They're windowto my soul, the mayflawsyung asawa namin,so ako.I was guidedallthroughout. likethey say.When I'm sad or nagloko kami. So in these photos, what happy, talagangmakikita mo yung Ever did a "torotot" in real life? emotions were you depicting? nararamdaman through my ko Me? Hindi pa... More of sa eyes and tensionng eyes. Now this question has become muscles. felt so luckybecause I How is it different shooting a pass6 but we have to ask you the peopleI was workingwith film and a pictorial? anryay out of curiosity. What earlier were all good. ln my first indiefilm kasisobrang kind of man would you not do We understand these thingsikli lang ng roleko. This time I'm a "torotot" on? starring in a movie, appearing one of the leadstars.I was able Guys who are affectionate,

Causing stir a

Makeor break

Girlsof FHM

Can you tellwhen a guy is lying to your face? Sobrang lakasng instinctsko, lf I feel something fishy, thereis goingon. lt'stested, something it has neverfailedme yet. Never. Huwag naman sana.

Cinerama
Should we expect more sexy roles by you in the future? I would loveto try anotherrole,but as muchas possibleI don't want to do sexymoviesanymore. rather I'd do dramaor comedy. Hopefully. Grabe namankasr,I felt so tired in that movielHa ha! | had likeseveral lovescenes,kissingscenes, wild thingsthat you would never imagine doing.Hopefully get me I'll a chanceto act out a different role. Would you like to be the one giving the slap or receiving it? Receiving I liketo be the it. oppressed. alwaysliketo I cry. Siguro marami lang yung pinaghuhugutanko.I had so muchproblems the past,na in siguronag-ipun-ipon na.In a way it was easyfor me to cry.But therewas this one scenein the moviena I was superdown, I was cryingpero walanglumalabasna luha. Nahihirapanakong umiyak. Napagodna yung utak kong maginternalize.Sa City Jailyun hal Ever had a lun-in with the police? Nahuli na ako, naparana ako nang sobrang daming beses.One time nahuli talaga ako kasi I was drivingmy unregistered The car. policewere like,"Ano tiketan na ba kita?" Sabi ko,"Sige tiketanmo akot' Ayaw ko kasingnagbibigay ng lagay, okaylang kung mahuli. Althoughkawawanaman sila kasi maliit na nga suweldo tapospagod na pagod pa. Pero kahit na, hindi pa rin sila dapat nangongotong. Other than that, wala na. Ayoko, takotako.I'm not a risk-taker. lt's eitherI play it safeor I makesure. How was your experience inside the jail? Nakulong ako,as in pumasok talagaako sa City Jailat nakihalubilo sa mga nakakulong. Nakakaawarin yung mga tao roon, when I'm studying scriptthey'd the say, "O wag kayong maingay,nagi-internalize Ma'aml'They'dtell si me storiesof their lives,kung bakit silanakulong, and they'dtell me, "Dito ang dali lang umiyak!' Did you get to taste prison food? No.FHM
For more photos of Precious, log on to www.fhm.com.ph. Vote for Precious, text FHM10O Precious Adona to 2948

NOTA ISKTAKER S EITHER I

attentive, may isang salita,hindi mayabang. don't ask for a perfect I guy,I don't go for lhe guwapo, machotype. Gusto ko lang a personwith a greatsmile. Do you have safety measures for you not to be cheated on? Are you the jealous type? Dati oo, pero ngayon hindi na. Medyo lumulugarna ako.Feeling ko matandana ako para sa childish relationships. Marunong akong magselos pero hindi yung tipong,"Who'sthis?Who's that?

What are you doing?Whereare you?"As long as I feel secure, kahit lumabaska with girls or boys, l'll be calm. What's one thing you hate about men? Most men are liarsand one-foot forward,pakitangtao.Ayaw ko ng mga mayayabang. don't like I guyswho rollaround withtheir dad'scarsand spendtheirmom's money. know because I when I boughtmy first car it was almost from my own money.

We're dumber!
how about lose Teachers hair stressing our through thick to ram theirlessons That's why 86 percenl of our female skulls. They're to are classmates dearer them. to compared 82 and reading mathwizards you pErcenlof us.A paltryadvantage, think? season come Waittill it matters iob-hunting than whenyou'llgetfewercallbacks her. gov.ph) (www.nso. gov.ph; www.lcrfw.

Wetre immature!
Justa monthintoyour breakup and you find out she'salready hitting big with a it new guy.Someone older, more successful richer and thanyou! Sixty percent of women,sooner or later, Noteto self: Honeys do. abhorbabysitting insecure young men! (www.t ei ntenetdatingg uide.com) h r

We fantasize about other hot girls!

u wanttheirloyalty? ll, we ofPinays remain will (foolish?), steadfast standing theirmen by

even somebody if hottelsmarter; richer and co nd good looks hardlymatter to of them.Thecatch? be Just dependableall times. at Problematicl (Eosmo Plillippines Suwey)

Signwe're earning than less her:E5 percentof Filipinas refuse open to a jointsavings account with theirboyfriends. (Cosmo Philippines Survey)
We're hardlv ' in control!
And boy,do our women loveit! lt's insane how we can be so givingmajority the of time. Eighty two percent of Pinays believe theirhusbands or boyfriends allowthem to callthe shotsin theirrelationship! Who's the realmartyrnow? (Cosmo Phili ppines Survey)

86 FHM MAY2008 www.fhm.com.ph

Wetre
A whopping 9I
Pinoys are Therap on endthere. I marriedwomerl theirhusbands whenall theyseeis itt :rnen, no wonder wish they
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Wetre fond of Gasual sex!

A study shows that men are far more interested in shortterm casualsex than women: 75 percent of the men approached by an attractive female stranger agreed to have sex with her while zero percent of the women approached by an attractive male s t r a n g e rd i d . (www. p sy ch o Iogytod ay.co m)

We're easilv satisfied!

46 percent of the hotties out therehavea hardtime enjoying with guyswho are sex intellectually inferior them. to Thismatteronlyconcerns 27 percent of us on the otherhand. Whichillustrates exactly which headdoesthe thinking us most for of the time. (www.tickle.com)

Wet-re bo-ring partners!

Sweethearts, percent 46 of them,easily turnto other activities whentheirsexliveshit a dull streak.They(93 percent) consider themselves more sexually powerful now thanthey were a decadeago. (www.sp iegel.de; C osmo Philippines survey)

We drool over fenna fameson!

of women theyneverletpornrule say their lives.(vwrvr,blazinggrac e. Drg)
88 FHM N/AY 2008 www.fhm.com.ph

're lousy bosses!

There's reason womencolleagues a our hogthecorporate spotlight morethanwe do.A studyof various Fortune companies 500 shows hiringmorefemale that directors is pretfymuchakinto winningthelottojackpot. Themoretheygrowin number, more the profitable efficient and yoru company becomes. f,onsider these chart-busting figures: female execs record 83 percent higheraverage an We surf for returnon eqr:ity, percenl higherreturn 73 Internet porn! Sometimes, linger we after on sales, ll2 percent higher ild return officehoursto abuseour free on invested capital thantheirrepresentationInternet access.ftrenty percent of menaccesspornography while bnrning malecounterparts. fu,wvw.ft.com) only 13 percent of womendo.
You're already thinking eyeball, aren'tyou?Worththe XOXOs, really, it'llbe tough.Thegood but news:You'llfind twicethe number of womenthanmen in chatrooms. The bad news:about 7O percent of themkeeptheircyberlifestyle prettyhush-hush. (www.wsr.byu.edu)

We're pessiinistic!
Ninety two percentof womenfeelthey're in control theirlives. of Women (88 percent) expressgreat satisfaction over keeping their families happy.And84 percent of themthinkthe worldwill be a betterplacein 10 years. (www.avon.com)

We're excited about happy hour!

In both developed and developing countries, women work 35 hours morethan men everyweek.Thoughwe suspect they spenda good amountof whichwalking and fro the ladies to roomfor facialretouches. (www.wal orkshop.com) lw

We're incompetent!
In theworkplace, thereare currently overlwo million Pinays holding supervisory and positions executive versus l.E million Pinoys. (vrvrvr,dole.gou.ph)

90 FHM MAY2008 www.fhm.com.ph

I was in Amsterdam a vacation for and couldn'tresistthe urgeto experience firsthand how it was liketo partythere.Walkingin the city one night,I saw people wearingverylittleclothing-shorts, nets,gladiator outfits-ateight degrees Celsius, outside thisclub. Instantly friendand I purchased my VIP ticketsfor 40 Euroseachto see whatwas happening inside. Uponentrywe were greeted by two gorgeous women,who offeredus drinks. We walkeda few morestepsand saw a large projector showingnakedvideosof womenmasturbating, womentied up,womensmooching. Further inside, saw womenwearing we leather, chains and thingsI could onlydreamof wearing-thong PVCs,bodypaints, somevery and whorishtype of outfits! We went to the areaat the backof the DJ and noticedtwo Jacuzzis both sides.A few on minutes latertwo toplessdancers came out of nowhere and started shaking theirhipson the ledge. I ordered drinks, drankthem likewater,and dancedtoo as soonas I got tipsy, the while all staringat theseseductive women. It didn'ttake long untilI started to copy theirmoves. woman A named Anna approached me and said,"Oh, you are one hot girl,stop seducing me, pleasel'We both giggled. girl, Another Bianca, came up to me.

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We had somefriendly talk as we walkedtowardthe sofato sit. ln the middle the conversation, of she and her boyfriend startedtouching my legs alternately. Biancasat very closethat our kneesand cheeks rubbedagainsteachother.While we were chit-chatting (anddoing mentalforeplay), anotherwoman namedDianne sat in betweenus and startedFrenchkissingBianca. Afterwhich,Bianca liftedDianne's thigh-length skirt, whichgaveme a peekof her cleanpussy! shaven

Anothergirl on my right,Ericka, who was about a foot awayfrom Dianne, willingly showedherown pussyin her almostnon-existent Amazona skirt.To my surprise, Biancaleaneda littleto my right and did a spreadeaglein frontof me.She showedher own jewels whileanother guy besideher boyfriend, Frank, startedto play with her clitoris. Geeezz!What a party!| was so overwhelmed, lthoughtof playing with thesewomenbut my friendmightget pissedif I did so. I was not even sure if I wanted to becausemy interaction with them mightleadto a free-for-all crazeof touching and gang-banging the in

VIP lourpge! my friendand ljust So waved{t our new acquaintances and left the area. We walked aroundas the nightwent by.The partygot wilder and wilder, with peoplekissing, petting, womenin the Jacuzzis fingering, licking, showing their boobseverywhere, strip-teasing, massaging erotically, takingoff piecesof clothinghereand there. It seemsljust foundwhereI really belong... Asiawould liketo thankthe following: Belo Medical Group; Cosmopark Greenhills; Salonde Manila; PremiereCondoms Vi it www.myasi world.com s an www.asiastoys.com www.astaspeep.com Watch her on Kung Fu Kids on ABS-CBN

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particularly ath geezers, each and everyprofessor who flunked us callously, havelong usedand abusedthe letters"X" and "Y" in various mathematical problems to botherour already troubledminds. Littledid thesetormentors know aboutthe emotionaltrauma had they causedus, making dread"X" and us "Y" for the restof our lives. Now we don't knowaboutyou,but this even had us throwingColdplay's 200b albumawayin hysteria! MeetingXl however, changed everything. Athleticand bubbly, she'sthe kind of personyou'd cut classes with.The 25-year-old modeladmits she'snever bored, and goes to beaches surf and to wakeboardalmosteveryweek. And talkingwith her madeus think: Forgetmath,life is a beach! X Y i s q u i t e a n u n u s u a ln a m e .l s it your real name or is it meant to be a suffix of "sexy"?

varsityplayerfrom elementary untilcollege,playbilliards. I I'm alwaysat the beach,seryoso!This weekendl'll be in La Union.next week in PuertoGalera. What about the beachdo you keep coming back for? Yungkuwentuhanwith friends, that's what is fun. Hindi naman ako nagsi-swimmingmasyado.I drinka little, yes.Sa wakeboarding, ang sarapng feelingkapag nakatatayo na. Firsttime ko ka mag-kneeboard,naka-one- d -aan half na ikotna ako. Sabi ng mga long-timer, ang galing ko raw. So you think you're gifted with some super power? Mahilig lang talaga ako sa sports, ano ba? Ha ha! What's your drink of choice? I drinkbeersometimes, pero mostlyharddrinks. And your most vivid alcoholrelated beach memory? Threeweeks ago sa Boracay.I'd

W e h e a r dy o u ' r eg o o d f r i e n d s w i t h l o c a l r o c k s t a r sK a m i k a z e , Quezo, rbandub... U Hindi namanmasyado,ha ha! Maramirin akong pinagdaananclub scene, hip-hop, sa then nagkaroonako ng ex-boyfriend na nasa band din. I enjoyrock music, evenmorethan Embassy music.I onlygo to danceclubspag namimiss ko yung hip-hopfriends ko. B u t w e r e y o u i n i t i a l l ya g r o u p i e of these bands? Hindi ah, friend lang talaga.Ha ha! Do you play any instruments yourself? . Hindi, pero I can carrya note. Mahilig akong mag-videoke.Last FetedelaMusique ljammedwith Epi Ouizon's band (Makatha) as backupsinger,pero isang song lang, ha ha! And also last Marley Fest sa Xaymaca, pina-jam ako ng ReggaeMistress-onthe spot! Any boyfriendsat the moment? None.Ngayon lang ako naging

masyadongkailangannun, Hindi ko siya nami-miss masyado. Siguro pagod na rin ako. So that means you gave your all before? Hindi namanlHa ha! Bastasingle muna. Gusfo ko ngayon yung mabait na matinong tao. Yung walangbisyo, medyo stable na. Kung magkaka-boyfriend ako gusto ko siya na yun. Kaya matagalpa siguroyun. But if everyou find one, would you want to be the dominantone? Even lang, saktolang. For me dapatganun, walangboss sa relationship. Puwedengsiya pero wag lang yung sobra.G.usto ko ako namanyung pina-pamper. So gusto ko ng older guy sa akin, SO yearsold and below. What gets you in the mood? Pag gusto ko yung guy...l'mnot into one-night-stands. I'd And nevermadethe first move. Any pet peevesin bed?

Ha ha!My realnamekasiis Xynith, My dad sayshe namedme afterthesong 'As llme Goes By." But howthat became Xynith, really I don't know. You say you'vetried fashion editorialsbefore. How is your FH M experiencedifferent? This time I felt sexier, kahit hindi, ha ha! You don't think you're sexy? Long-legged daw ako pero feeling ko hindi naman,body-conscious lang talagaako. I like sports, wakeboarding,was a volleyball I FHM MAY 2008www.fhm.com.ph

liketo tell you what happened, but lcan't evenremember how I got backto the hotel,ha ha! You must have so much time i n y o u r h a n d st o b e a b l e t o d o t h o s et h i n g s ! I don'thavea dayjob. I do modeling lang talaga.Pag wala lang work, that'swhenI'mableto do these. Last Augustdapafflightattendant ako na pero I flunked medical kasi the test hindi ako clearlungs,so hindi ako nakalipad. the end of AugustnagBy cfearfungsna ako,ha ha!

singfe,for six months now.Matagal kasiakonghrndisingle,lahatng relationships matatagal. last ko My relationship lastedthreeyearsand five months. H o w d o y o u f i n d t h e s i n g t et i f e ? Enjoy, kasimay bagongfriendsna nakikilala.Tsakawala nang sariling mundounlike whenI hada boyfriend. Pero it's basically same. the But how can you say it's the same if you don't have a, you know, sex life? Okay lang yun, hindi ko naman

No analsex,please. Ayoko!Yuckl Does that mean you'vetried it b e f o r ea n d d i d n ' t q u i t e l i k e t h e feeling? No! Never!| knewof it from porn flicks. So you do watch porn flicks. Noon pa. Lahat namandumadaan sa ganun.Inelementary we'd watch porn at a classmate's house fromtime to time. Any personalfavorites? Walal lt's not like I watchedthem religiously. ha! rxu Ha

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G i r l s f F H M Natalie Trevis o

e mayhavefinally stumbled upon a womantrulyin league with the devil. Natalie Trevis an English is lawyermarried a similarly to successful lawyer. She is 5'10" and an absolute stunner. She job leaves well-paying in London a to be with her husband senton assignment Manila. to Finding not muchelseto do hereapart frompartying mostnights, she enrolls herself a fashion in course. Probably a whim,she decides on to do a bit of modeling and gets stellargigs,FHM beingone of

them.As we writethis,she is exhausted froma longflighten routeto Europe, spending is a nightin Amsterdam sleep, for then it's off to Valencia, Spain, then London and Scotland the next in coupleof weeks. lf we knowthe priceto be paid for a charmed we'd say her life, husband's bosswas Al Pacino and this is all TheDevilb Advocate. Youknowhow the movie goes: Hotshotof a lawyermeets Satandressedas a barrister. Devil temptshimwith riches and success,lustsafterhis beautiful

w i f e . D e v i lf a i l s b u t d o e s n ' t d i e , o f course,going back to his tar pit w a i t i n gt o i n d u l g ea n o t h e rp e r s o n ' s v a n i t y ,h i s f a v o r i t es r n . That,or she s just smart, b e a u t i f u la n d i n t h i s c a s e n o t t o o s h y t o u n d r e s s .S h e s a i d s o h e r s e l f .' A l t h o u g h s o m e t i m e s I ' m s u r e I c a n b e a d e v i l ,I l i k et o t h i n k I'm a smarl angel at heartl' We do some llackground checks on any new babe who comes our way, Most times it's "young girl, f irst-time model, wants to be famousJ' But yours is vastly

different. You're a lawyer.How does that fit into this context? Ha ha,yes I'vehadsomething a of career diversion sincecoming to the Philippines! a broadcasting I'm lawyer fromLondon, I'munable but to practice the Philippines so in and I'mpursuing morecreative my side in an areaI haverealpassion for, whichis fashion. taking fashion I'm a design courseherein Manila and alsomodeling, whichare boththings I lovebut whichI'venever hadthe timeto pursue before. loving I'm my newfashionista lifestyle! O u r s o u r c e st e l l u s y o u ' r e a r i c h l a w y e r .H o w d i d y o u a m a s s yourwealth? Who said lwas rich?!Ha ha!You can certainly earna nice salary at a cityfirmin London, beinga but fashion student and modeland doingsomething really I loveis far moreexciting and rewarding for me at the moment thanearning the big citybucks. And your husband is a lawyer, too. You remind us of lhe Devil's Advocate -lawyers, wea lth, Al Pacino. Are you in leaguewith the devilor just reallysmart? Yep,my husbandis a lawyer, too, but fortunately doesn'tlook like he Al Pacino! Hmm,I don'tthinkI'm in league with the devil-although sometimes sureI can be a I'm devil!-but liketo thinkI'ma smart I angelat heart. They also say lawyers are the best liarsin the world. P l e a s ed e f e n d a n d s a v e y o u r profession in ai many words as you please. Well,I havelots of lawyer friends and I haveto say that theyare all amazing, intelligent people with lots of integrity. Obviously, thereare a few exceptions the in profession, you'llalwaysfind but one or two that givethe rest of us a bad name.We're not all cold money-grabbing liarsl Why not take fashion design coursesin London,Paris,or Milan,the more obviousdroices? lwouldabsolutely to study love fashion Milan, in Paris, London or but I'mherein Manila a couple years for of job, withmyhusband's so Manila isl it Who knows, maybe takea further l'll in course Europe somepoint, at although Filipinas haveplenty the here of style, you know. too, You've obviously seen the w o r l d ,w h a t m a k e sy o u want so stay longerin the P h i l i p p i n e sa p a r tf r o m y o u r , h u s b a n d ' sj o b ? l s e v e r y w h e r e else in the world boring? I'vetraveled lot in Europe, a Africa, andAsiaand it'scertainly not boringin anyof thoseplaces, but

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Girlsof FHM Natalie Trevis

the Philippines a prettyfantastic is combination allthe goodthings of youfind in othercountries. You've got the fabulous beaches, city the and partylifestyle Manila, in the peoplewho just wantto have friendly a goodtimeand alsothe gorgeous weather. lovetraveling I aroundthe Philippines, the different to islandseachisland unique, is how couldyou everget bored?| couldeasily stay herefor a few years. We quote our celebrity coordinatodsdescriptionof you: "She's very posh in sudr a way that she can be consideredproper British snobl' ls that accurate? Ha ha,if you onlyknew!| guessall British accentsmustsoundposh, right?I'mfar fromposh.In fact I'ma good, down-to-earth Northernlass underneath all.My family from it is Liverpool the Northof England in and I'vehad a verynotmalBritish upbringing. private No schools or trustfundsfor me! | don'tthink anyone woulddescribe as a me snob either, hopenot! | do likethe I finerthingsin life,but don'twe all? But same person goes on to say: "Everythingabout her seems to be calculated.During the shoot, she was a natural, she knew how to pose for the 112 FHM MAY 2008wwwfhm.com.oh

cameral' Sounds like you've been doing this before... Well,I'm gladyou thinkthat I was a professional! Yep,I do havea reputation beingverycalm in a for crisis.I try not to let thingsfazeme or stressme out, I thinksometimes I can seema bit reserved and quiet, but it's becauseI'm actually quite shy aroundnew people.Please don'tthinkthat I'man lce Oueen, though-onceyou get to know me there's stopping no me! | also havereputation beinga poser for in everyphototaken!I really enjoy modeling, hair, make-up, the the the clothes-orthe lackof them on this shoot,ha!-what'snot to like? lf there ever was a highmaintenance girl, you'd probably be it. But are you? Hmm,maybeyou shouldask my husband! thinkhe wouldprobably | agreethat I'm high-maintenance in that I liketo lookstylishand puttogetherprettymuchall the timeyou won't oftensee me out and aboutwithoutmake-up heels.I'm or not one of thosesuper-demanding princesses, though. Although I mightlook high maintenancehope I I don't act it! We imagine as we sit down to write this you're probably

30,000feet up, flying business c l a s s .C a n y o u j o i n t h e m i l e h i g h c l u b w i t h o u t h a v i n gt o g e t up to go the toilet in business class? you shouldsay that because Funny l'll be flyingto Amsterdam before traveling Valencia, to then London phew! | haveto say and Scotland, it'seasier join the mile-high to club in business classthesedayswith the secludedflat beds-no needto squeeze the toilet!But whether in I haveor not,I'm not telling! How do lawyers make love to another lawyer? We imagine t h e p o w e r p l a y ,t h e p l e a d i n g a n d c o n v i n c i n gm u s t b e exhausting. Ha ha! Yeswe liketo agreeterms and sign a contractfirst,too! lf you were single, would you be datingany of the Pinoymen you must have seen hovering aroundin the clubshere? I'veseenloadsof hot Pinoyguys, for sure.The problem me is for t h a tI ' m5 ' 1 0 " s o I ' mt a l l e r h a na t lot of guys,which I knowsome men find uncomfortable-although I'vehad shorterboyfriends before. MaybeI would haveto look for a player! basketball Do you think they can handlean

accomplished woman like you? I thinkguysof any nationality can sometimes intimidated be by laromen who havea brainand an opinion, especially the womanin if question alsoa babe.Intelligent is womentend to knowwhat they want out of lifeand usually don't needa manto helpthem achieve theirgoals.But thereare morethan enoughguysout therewho can handle independence spirit our and and who want to be challenged by theirpartners. Who wantsa brainless bimbo? Most FHM editions in Europe, and FHM Philippines in fact, are breast worshippers.Do you know why we love breasts so much? Believe me, I'venoticedthe FHM obsession! Thisis sucha hard question a girl to answer! for Why do you guys lovebreastsso much? I supposethey'rethe ultimate symbolof femininity.know lots I of guyswho are bum or legs men, too. Variety the spiceof life! is Because they're soft and secure and when you touch them all is good in the world. Doesn't that make you feel special? Ha, ha,you'resucha bloke!rxu

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Girlsof FHM Sherylie

Callingyourself crazytendsto give varyrng rmpressrons. get lf you really the nervous ticks all the time,you could be crazy uazy-we meanthe genuine starkravinglunatic. you could Or be the unique, eccentric kindof crazyif you're a radicalartist of some sort. Thenthere'sa kindof crazy thatwe areparticularly of: The fond wild extremely and dangerous types. Especially they're if women.Per{ect if theyknowit. Sherylie sucha is woman. This19-year-old stunner fromAngeles Cityfindsit just apt to describe herself exactly that."l'm really acrazygirl.lf I wantto go wild,thenI go all out,walangpretenses.can do I stuffmostgirlscan'tl'Now that'sthe we'llgladly.tolerate... sortof crazy What do you mean about doing stuff most girls won't do? Kasil'ma veryliberal-minded girl so I'm opento new and wild things. Bastainteresting siyapara sa akin, l'm willing try it. Kahitweidpa to giveit a shot. yan,l'll usually How'llreird" can you actuallygo? Hmm...siguroas weirdas you can imagine. ha ha! Ha 2008wwwfhm.com.ph 126 FHM MAY

You'rb a feisty one. Where can we find you if ever we go looking? When I'm not busyworking on my website, www.sherylie,com, madalas nasagimikanako. I really loveto go barhopping. When I'm there,madalasakong nagwawala sa ledge.Mahilig kasiakong sumayaw. When I'm dancing, that'swhenI'm really having fun. Hindi kasi ako umiinom ng alak. Bihira lang kaya dinaraan ko na lang sa sayaw. You said you're based in Angefes. Ever tried the gimik s c e n ei n M a n i l a ? Hindi pa actually, Pampanga sa lang. Mas maramingbars doon. Threetimes pa lang kasiakong nakapunta Manila, crowded sa it's and verypolluted. Mas gusto ko sa amin, familiarna ako sa places.I'm sure maliligawlang ako sa Manila. Ha ha ha! And being an occasional drinker,we're guessing it doesn't take much for you to get drunk. Hindi rin naman.When I'm in the mood to drink kasiang favorite drink ko rum coke. Siguro mga

nakakasamoung drinksako noon bago ako malasingso normal/ang ang tolerance ko. S o d o w n i n gt h e 1 1 t hg l a s s would spelltrouble... Forsure!| remember onetime this na nasobrahan ako sa alak.My friendstold me bagsak daw ako sa mesa.Wala na akong naalalang nangyarithat night. How did you get home then? Sabi ng friendsko hindi na raw nila ako magising kaya wala silang choice,binuhatnila ako palabas ng bar pauwi sa bahay. Nagising na lang ako the nextday nasa housena ako. That's tough. So what do you do when you're not busy barhopping and getting unconscious? Most of my time nauubossa websiteko. Veryhands-on kasi akoroon.Sa morningnaman, go I to the gym.Usually spendabout I threehoursthere,mga from sixto nineeveryday.That'smy regular routine.Para sexyhindi ba? Kaya laging masakitang musclesko, ha ha! Nothing a good back rub can't take away,we presume...

I tried gettinga massage kaso nakikiliti naman ako kaya tinutulog ko na lang para ma-relax yung musclesko, Effectivenamanso far. Really,you're that ticklish? SobrafEspecially leegand sa sa partsko, of course, sensitive We're guessing you have a bubbly personality. Medyo. Malambingako and very friendly, and crazy.Pero if I get to knowsomeonebetter, doon Iumalabasyung pagka-maingay ko. I can be a bit loud kasr.Pero mabaitnamanako.I'm even friendly strangers. to So guys shouldn't be intimidated? Oo naman.Sanaynamanakong nilalapitan guys.Ha ha! But if the ng guy is a snobo medyosuplado,lget turnedoff easily. friendly I'm kapag friendly ang kausap ko. What are you like when you're mad? My friendsknowwhen I'm angry kapag hindi na ako namamansin. Pag galit ako sa'yo hindi kita kakausapinkahit ano pa ang elforI mo. Wth guysnaman,usuallyI try to confrontthemto resolve the oroblem. FHM

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Jen nyson'Rosero lflip.tr i,fft, gtt91t

'Let's come together!' -EU to world Aiming promote to andpreserve their

audiovisual and cinematographic culture, the European Unionhascreated a seven-year program called Media 2002 introducingthrough 44it a "softporn" second filmclip"Film Lovers LoveThisl'The Will clio showcases couples a series 18 in of various stagesof sex,Footages frommovies suchas Amelie andAll About My Motherwere included the film. in Theclipends withthe couples'orgasms with a tagline that says, "Let's come together. UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloomseems seethe humor to in thisby evensaying, suppose "l thisfilm is appropriate, EU The hasbeenscrewing Britain the for past30 yearsl'

EUROPE

Woman invents orgasm-aid for moms

Joanne Drysdale, a mother of three, who hasn't had sex for the past 15 years following her divorce, has inventeda vibratorthat one can attach to a vacuum cleaner to attain multipleorgasms for a minute, Called Vortex Vibrations, Drysdale s t u m b l e du p o n t h i s w h e n a p i e c e of rubber got caught in the nozzle of the cleaner,which resulted in a gently resonatingairflow and a soft vibrationupon contact,In a span of a few hours,Joanne had come up with the prototype,tried it, and achieved an orgasm in 1O seconds."That was when I knew I was on to something that could potentiallybring pleasure to all womenj'she says.

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NORWAY
Sex store unsafe
When a food safety o f f i c e rm a d e a s u r o r i s e v i s i tt o o n e o f t h e country'slargest chain of sex s t o r e s ,h e f o u n d t h a t m a n y o f t h e i r p r o d u c t s - s u c ha s e d i b l ee r o t i c goods like penis pasta,chocolate body paint,and candy underwear and handcuffs-violatedfood labelingregulations,Norwegian law dictatesthat products containingfood must be marked w i t h a N o r w e g i a nl a b e l ,l i s t i n ga l l ingredients. Kjersti Antonsen,a store employee,was a bit shocked to find the food safety authorityinspecting their store."But food is not reallvour core productj'he said

THE NETHERLANDS
Geeks will have it, too
Menwho've never hada sexual encounter should no longer fear becoming 4O-Year The Old Virgin. Whatmayseemlike a scenefrom TheBeautyand the Geek has become reality a for manyDutchmen. escort An service called Society Service wasput up by Sociology student Zoe Vialet reduce growing to the number inexperienced A of men, big majority hercustomers of are lT professionals, whomshe claims "areverysweetbut are afraidof seeking contact withotherpeople, Theymeanit verywellbut are veryscaredJ' Packages startat a $950,whichincludes woman for a duration threehours. of Their services include baths, massages, andexploration eachothers' of bodies. the "When dateis over, you will havehad a fantastic experience, you willbe able and to pleasure woman," a saysVialet. "Somemenneeda littlebit of helo. But it makes themhappy andthey areglowing. Thereis nothing more terrible thandyinga virginl'

140 FHM MAY2008 www.fhm.com.oh

FHM

rnotography Erwin Barletaof Edge Of Light I

Art can meananything,rom ancient f c a v e p a i n t i n g st o t h e a s t o u n d i n g f i g u r e sw e c r e a t e w h e n e v e rw e p e e o n o u r n e i g h b o r ' sw a l l . O f c o u r s e , you know our taste for thesethings. We have a new "art oiece" on e x h i b i tt h i s m o n t h ,a n d a p p a r e n t l y s h e i s a l o v e ro f t h e a r t s h e r s e l f . B e h o l d a s w e u n v e i l2 S - y e a r - o l d C K - a b u d d i n g i n t e r i o rd e s i g n e r , s i n g e r ,m o d e l ,a n d c h a r c o a lp a i n t e r . A total artist,we say.

I s t a r t e d m o d e l i n ga t 1 7 a s a T s i d e l i n e . h e n a f e w y e a r sb a c k ,I w o r k e d i n J a p a na s a s i n g e r .N o w I d o n ' t g e t t o p r a c t i c em y s i n g i n g , s o I m a i n l yd o m o d e l i n g .A s i d e f r o m t h a t , I d o i n t e r i o rd e s i g n .G r a d u a t i n g na ako pero puwede na kaming mag-take ng projects as long as may cltent.

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a s s i g n e dt o o u r r e s p e c t i v ep l a t o o n s . I w a s d e s i g n a t e dt o t h e t h i r d p l a t o o n ,C h a r l i eC o m p a n yo f t h e s e c o n d b a t t a l i o n , u r p l a t o o nl e a d e r O i n t r o d u c e dh i m s e l f ,c h a t t e d w i t h u s f o r a w h i l e ,t h e n o r d e r e d u s t o f o r m t h e p l a t o o n .H e b e l l o w e d , " l s a h a n g b i l a n g ,N A l " L i k e c l o c k w o r k ,t h e f i r s t c a d e t r e p l i e d" / s a ! "t h e n t h e s e c o n d , " D a l a w a l "a n d s o o n . E v e r y t h i n gw a s g o i n g s m o o t h l yu n t i l t h e 2 0 t h c a d e t . T h e w h o l e p l a t o o n ,e x c e p t f o r o n e , l o u s yt r o o p e r ,b r o k e i n t o l a u g h t e r , W a n t t o k n o w w h y ? W e l l ,w h e n i t w a s h i s t u r n t o s a y h i s n u m b e r ,h e s h o u t e d i n c r i s p ,m i l i t a r ym a n n e r r 'Labing sampu!" Kenneth Gagayan 0ro City R., de

Button mallunclion botches kid's euil plans

I t h a p p e n e da d a y a f t e r a s l e e p l e s s n i g h t a t s c h o o l .B e f o r e I g o i n g h o m e , I w e n t I o m y n i n a n g ' sh o u s e o n l y t o f i n d o u t t h a t t h e f a m i l yw o u l d g o s w i m m i n ga t a r e s o r t ,T i r e d ,I s a i d t h a t I ' dj u s t s l e e pt h e w h o l e d a y w h i l e t h e y w e r e a w a y .B u t i n fact, I had a dark idea in my mind. G r e e n ,a c t u a l l y . m m e d i a t e l y f t e r l a they left, I turned on the computer s o t h a t I ' d g e t t o p l a yg a m e s w h i l e there was nobodyin the house. T o m y d i s a p p o i n t m e n tI, f o u n d o u t t h a t t h e c o m p u t e rw a s b r o k e n , A n d s o I p l a n n e dt o w a t c h p o r n i n t h e c o u p l e ' sr o o m i n s t e a d ,I s w i t c h e dt h e T V o n a n d i n s t a n t l y the welcomescreenappeared-with a g u y l i c k i n ga g i r l ' sn i p p l e , s I t r i e d A to press the fast-forward button, I d i s c o v e r e d h a t t h e r e m o t ec o n t r o l t w a s b r o k e n ,t o o , a n d t h e b u t t o n s i n t h e p l a y e rw e r e n o t w o r k i n g ,S h i t ! I c o u l d n ' tw a t c h . I d e c i d e dt o s l e e o i n s t e a da n d t r i e d t o e j e c t t h e d i s c . H o l y s h i t l T h e e j e c t b u t t o nw a s b r o k e nt o o l W h a t i f t h e y f o u n d o u t I w a s w a t c h i n g p o r n ? | d e c i d e dt o t u r n o f f t h e p l a y e ra n d t h e T V a n d p l a n n e do n p r e t e n d i n gn o t t o k n o w a n y t h i n ga b o u t i t . I h o p e d t h e y w o u l d n ' tu s e t h e p l a y e ra n d T V t o watch DVD on the same day so t h e y ' d n e v e rf i g u r e o u t i t w a s m e , L u c k i l y ,u n t i l t o d a y ,t h e y h a v e n ' t a s k e d m e a n y t h i n ga b o u t i t , N o t y e t . B u t I p r o m i s en o t t o w a t c h p o r n i n that houseeveragainl Cristhe Great, email by

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Latebloomermisses the spot

At the age of 24, I was stilla virgin, S o y o u c o u l d i m a g i n eh o w n e r v o u s I w a s w h e n m y g i r l f r i e n da n d I f i n a l l yd e c i d e d t o h a v e s e x , S h e i n s i s t e d h a t w e s p e n do u r n i g h t i n t a l u x u r i o u sh o t e l s u i t e r a t h e rt h a n i n a c h e a p m o t e l .W e c i l e c k e d i n a t h r e e - s t a rh o t e l s o m e w h e r ei n Pasay, nd there we startedkissing a a n d t e a r i n g e a c h o t h e r ' sc l o t h e s .l t was her first time too and she was a f r a i dt h a t s h e m i g h t g e t p r e g n a n t , A g a i n s h e i n s i s t e dt h a t m y d i c k s h o u l d n o t p e n e t r a t eh e r p u s s y .T o my dismay, e only did the oral sex w a l l n i g h t l o n g ,l m a g i n eh o w h o r n yI w a s a n d f r u s t r a t e dt h a t I c o u l d n ' t a p p l y t h e t h i n g s I l e a r n e dw a t c h i n g p o r n .I l i c k e dh e r p u s s yu n d e rt h e m a t t r e s sb e c a u s es h e w a s s h y t o show it to me.lt was pitch blackand I c o u l d n ' ts e e w h a t h e r p u s s y l o o k e d l i k e .G o o d t h i n g I c o u l d h e a r h e r m o a n i n gk n o w i n gt h a t I w a s h i t t i n g t h e r i g h t s p o t .T h e n e x t d a y I a s k e d her how was my first performance w a s ,a n d s h e r e p l i e d" 8 o u t o f 1 0 , lang kasi hindi mo naman naipasok." MG,by email

lizzy boy gets ohuious Beinga responsible student the morning in and call center agentat night,I seldomget to hangout and drink with my officemates, until onedaywhenmy schedule open. was After our shiftwe went straight the gimik tn spotnearbyanddrankour lungsout.Being the show-off I was,I neverpassEd that a shoteventhough hadn0 sleep the past I for few daysbecause work andschool. of It 5TIR was still fineuntilwe hadto bid eachother sTORIES goodbye. we parted So wayswhileI still had Kristine laca to takea van before couldreachhome. I ljammed asong I with bandthis a in was s0 drunkandsleepy thatI fell asleep bar The 0n at Fort. automatically I gotseated. the middle once In my down way the I $age, I tripped over of the longtrip home, suddenly awokeand the speaker infront f,elt dizzy, andthe nextthing I know I was Eadamit,cadel! ofme fell and in I wasa member the lastbatch of vomiting insides my out. .inside van,in the front everybodyl of of cadets whenROTC wasstill the backseat! fellowpassengers My | rushed to back rushed a mandatory, two-year course. our pretendingto makethe van stopandgotoff immediately table During thosetwo years crude, of thatwas right, I all whileI was soaking mixedbeerand in useless military training exercise, But inside deep we troopers ourshare happy had of pulutan mesh.I had to pay the driver I felt hiding like andfunnyexperiences. most The inside powder additional the P200for the carwash andwalked unforgettable during first was our room everyone until homewith pukeall overme!It reallysuckedl dayof roundup whenI wasstilla gone had awayl
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