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Flirting Formula
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Preface
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
Why does dating seem so confusing and illogical? No matter how much we think about the dynamics between men and women, nothing seems to make sense. Men have always asked themselves questions such as: What defining characteristic makes women love some men and never notice others? Why do women say one thing but mean another? Why is it so hard to start conversations with women? Do similarities or opposites attract? What really attracts women? Maybe famous psychiatrist Sigmund Freud couldnt answer the question, What does a woman want? but you can be certain by the end of this book youll have the answer. As we embark on this journey to understand the differences between men and women take notes and refer to them often. Theyll help you grasp the concepts and jump-start your success. All the best,
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Contents
Chapter 1: How To Meet Women.......... 7
Fear.......................................................................................................... 7 Approach Excuses ................................................................................. 7 Why Men Approach Women ............................................................... 9 Real Man Test: Will He Talk To Me? ................................................. 9 Womens Ultimate Fantasy..................................................................10 Powerful Beliefs ....................................................................................11 Power Approach Technique ................................................................11 Bad Opening Lines In Clubs................................................................13 Where to Meet Women ........................................................................14 Hesitation ..............................................................................................15 Approach Anxiety Action Plan ...........................................................15 Step 1...................................................................................................16 Step 2...................................................................................................17 Step 3...................................................................................................17 Continuing Steps ..................................................................................18 The Bar Bet ............................................................................................18 Persistence .............................................................................................19 Gradual Improvement .........................................................................19 Start Conversations with Everyone ....................................................20 Indirect Approaches .............................................................................21 Classrooms .........................................................................................22 Parties .................................................................................................22 Clubs and Bars ...................................................................................23 Section 1: Flirting Introduction............................................................25 What Is Flirting? ................................................................................25 Why Is Flirting Important?...............................................................26 Interpretation .....................................................................................27 Flirting Instincts.................................................................................28 Anti-Flirting .......................................................................................28 Flirting vs. Rapport ...........................................................................29 Section 2: Flirting Components ...........................................................31 Verbal Flirting....................................................................................31 Non-Verbal Flirting...........................................................................34 Section 3: The Playful Conflict Flirting Formula ...........................38 Playfully Provoke ..............................................................................38
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Playfully Disagree .............................................................................38 Playfully Accuse ................................................................................38 Playfully Compete.............................................................................38 Section 4: Flirting Qualities..................................................................39 The 3 Qualities ...................................................................................39 Confident Flirting..............................................................................40 Playful Flirting...................................................................................44 Sexual Flirting....................................................................................46 Without The 3 Qualities....................................................................51
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Mini Golf ............................................................................................77 Movies ................................................................................................78 What To Talk About On Dates............................................................79 Good Topics .......................................................................................79 Deadly Topics ....................................................................................79
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Approach Excuses
Let me tell you a story. Away for the summer at his beach house, John noticed a woman he wanted to meet. John walked down towards the waves as she played around near the waters edge, laughing and giggling with her friends. Witnessing the potential interaction, I saw that the group of women knew exactly what was going on. By just lingering around near the water for a long time, looking stupid in the process, John managed to make the girls feel uncomfortable, dampening his
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chances should he eventually speak. But he never actually went over and talked to the group of women. When he came back I asked him, What happened? He replied, I looked at her, now she needs to do the rest! Sadly John didnt understand what the role of a masculine man was. He was so fragile he couldnt even admit he didnt have the guts to approach them. Do you think these women would start a conversation first? No. Part of being a masculine male involves being the leader, decision-maker and initiator of all interactions. If you dont go over and talk to a woman its very unlikely she will come over and start a conversation with you. What causes this fear is an imaginary voice in ones head. Excuses come from doubt, from not knowing the outcome of a situation, from lack of confidence. With this state of mind men invent outrageous excuses to keep themselves from meeting new women and simultaneously protect their fragile ego. Excuses allow the ego to feel safe and unbroken, reinforcing the view that nothing could have been done in the particular situation anyway. The brain becomes so creative that it makes up an excuse for every single situation where its possible to meet women, so men never take action. If you make excuses, you are only cheating yourself. Here are the common excuses: No, shes probably got a boyfriend. No, if she has a boyfriend he might beat me up. No, she looks busy; I wont disturb her. No, shes with her friends. No, shes on the dance floor; its too loud to talk there. No, she looks bitchy and mean. No, shes sitting at a table. No, shes walking past me. No, shes way out of my league.
These excuses are rubbish! Women in relationships are often flattered to have men approach them and a simple Thanks anyway ends the conversation. Ninety-nine point 999 per cent of the time men wont do anything, even if theyre right next to their girlfriend when you talk to her. And finally, women want to be swept off their feet as if by magic, so there is no excuse not to interrupt her daily routine. Men also raise and lower their standards within seconds, claiming that women are too attractive or not attractive enough. This excuse simply becomes an
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endless loop that ultimately gets men nowhere. If you continue to do the same things, youll always get the same results. If you continue to make these excuses to yourself, dont expect your dating situation to ever change. The ability to change your thinking and beliefs also changes your results in the dating world. So what happens when men dont feed their minds any excuses to meet women? They freeze. Oh, I want to meet this woman. Umm, what do I say? I need something creative to say. What can I say, what can I say? While the man thinks of something to say the woman gets up and leaves, and the man misses his opportunity.
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If youre not willing to walk up to a woman and open your mouth because youre too scared, then she already knows youre not the man shes looking for. Period. This may seem cruel but its the harsh reality of attracting women youve never met before. Dont wait for a go signal like eye contact or someone to introduce you. Just take action. Do you feel even more intimidated by the thought of approaching an extremely attractive woman? The more beautiful the woman, the harder it is for a man to start a conversation with her. This is just one of the ways women filter out men that dont fit their image of the ideal man. Exceptionally beautiful women wear the most stylish clothes, coolest sunglasses and sexiest tans, and often dont smile when walking through the world. Why? Their image screams, stay away, and less confident men are often so intimidated by this aura that they decide to do nothing. This sneaky strategy can be employed by a woman to filter out the less confident men from ever approaching her, ultimately saving her lots of time. She only wants to date the most masculine and fearless partners possible. The same rules apply in isolated settings. If theyve been talking in front of a roasting fire with romantic lighting and seductive music, the man must still make the first move or nothing will happen. Even if women are ready and willing they almost never take the first step. Its all part of testing men. If men cant initiate and escalate the situation, women wont be interested. Waiting for the man to lead allows the woman to assess the sort of man shes dealing with and gives him the opportunity to attract her. Women are drawn to mens leadership qualities. Their instinctive habits are to passively observe males with strong masculine behaviour. Theyll watch men as they approach and compete, rather than walk around and start these interactions themselves. For these reasons men must approach women.
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The stories always go something like this: a knight in shining armour, risking his life, rides to the castle, defeats the dangerous creature and saves the princess from her misery. Men may find these tales childish and stupid, but to women these stories take on greater meaning. They love these sagas of romantic heroes facing danger, risking their lives and leading women away to live happily ever after. The story of Prince Charming is the model for womens ideal man. Women want to be swept off their feet. Women want to be approached.
Powerful Beliefs
The successful man holds only powerful positive beliefs that allow him to approach beautiful women everywhere without even hesitating. After having enough positive experiences to reinforce their beliefs men lock powerful beliefs into their minds. These powerful beliefs are the only things that separate success from failure. Positive Beliefs: Women love sex. Women love me. I have nothing to lose. Its her loss. Im just going to talk lets see what else she has going for her. If shes not interested thats OK, theres plenty more women.
Some of these beliefs may seem arrogant but thats because success often breeds arrogance. Once men experience success the power often goes to their heads. But after a time men go from shy, to arrogant and finally, humble. Whether a man stays arrogant or becomes humble, no man can just believe women love me without some sort of experience reinforcing their belief. So to start transforming these beliefs we will now explore the powerful technique used to approach women confidently and without fear of rejection.
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No sweating palms, thumping heart or nervous screeching voice. The reason most men get terrified when they conceive the thought of approaching a beautiful woman is because they associate getting results with the interaction. They burden themselves with so much pressure by believing they have to make her laugh, get her number or get a kiss or else they are a loser! Putting the pressure on yourself by saying that you must get this girl would make anyone extremely nervous. If you simply change your mindset when thinking about women you take the pressure off and allow yourself to start conversations with them easily. A great way to start approaching women is to find one thing that you sincerely want to know and use it to initiate conversations. Here are 11 examples of sincere questions you can ask women. Club Hey guys, what time is this place closing? Hey, do you guys know who the DJ is? Hey, do you know what this song is called? Hey guys, have you tried vodka and cranberry juice? Is it nice? Shopping Mall Hey, wheres the closest coffee shop around here? Hey, wheres the best shop with sexy clothes for guys? Super Market Hey, what tastes better oranges or mandarins? Hey, is it just me or is it cold in here? Anywhere Hey, I just bought these jeans and was wondering if I made the right decision. What do you think? Hey, I was thinking of getting this tattoo drawn on my upper back, (show picture of tattoo) what do you think? Hey, whats the time? (careful it's hard to come across natural with this one) Information or opinions as mentioned above work quite well if theyre things you sincerely want to find out from people. A sincere question helps you come across cool and calm because youre tricking your own mind to forget about the outcome and just flirt with women. Ask her anything, but the idea is to disassociate you from trying to get results. Youre not trying to get her number, kiss her or impress her. Your only goal is to learn from the experience. This mindset takes the pressure off getting results. When your goal is to learn from the experience you cant fail because no matter what happens youll always learn something. Opening your mouth and saying something is better than
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saying nothing at all. Heres the difference between a negative and positive mindset in these situations. Mindset Less effective: More effective: I must get this girls number. I hope I dont stuff it up. I wonder what she thinks of my shirt. Maybe this girl knows where the shop is.
This technique is very powerful in helping men get over their initial fear of approaching women for the first time. Some might argue that using a sincere question is manipulation because youre trying to get something from the woman indirectly. Yes, you are trying to get the experience of approaching women youve never spoken to. If you have a question or opinion you sincerely want answered, there should be no problem approaching a woman, because youre not putting pressure on yourself to get results. Use this concept as a set of training wheels to get you started approaching women today.
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THAT MEANS: his self-esteem is so low that believes he needs to buy me a drink to keep my attention and he only likes me for my looks because he hasnt even spoken to me yet. Oh well Ill take the drink and maybe even thank him but Ill head back over to my friends straight afterwards. Sadly some men believe this is the greatest flirting technique ever invented. Just dont be surprised when she takes your drink, thanks you, and disappears.
Online Dating One great way to practice flirting and get a real feel for talking with women is to join some dating sites. With millions of people worldwide looking for the perfect match, why not? Many online dating sites have instant messaging (IM). This is different from email, where you send a message and get a reply one, two or three days later. IM allows you to talk to women that are online now. You look at a womans profile on the website, check if she is someone you want to talk to and then click the link to get started. You type messages and get a text reply only seconds later. Its basically a simulated conversation where you type messages back and forth in the comfort of your home. Would there be any attractive women on these sites? Youd be surprised. The Internet isnt just for techno-whiz people any more. Nowadays millions of people are trying out online dating services yes, even beautiful women.
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Hesitation
If you hesitate to approach women your mind will come up with more and more reasons why you should stay away. A good general rule is to not even think about it. Just start walking towards the woman and ask her a curious, sincere question. The longer you wait the harder it will be to get started. You must be 100 per cent certain youre going to approach or else you wont do it. Momentum is a powerful thing. If you can speak to a woman within the first five seconds of seeing her itll be only natural to keep talking to more and more women throughout your day, but if you hesitate then youll continue to hesitate and get nowhere. Momentum is a very powerful influence on the human mind. Make it work for you.
Approach Anxiety Action Plan Action is the real measure of intelligence. Napoleon Hill
Basically your success depends on two stages: Meeting women Dating women.
Even if youre not dating women maybe youre still meeting them. But if youre not meeting new women on a regular basis there is no chance of dating them. So I want to address how to approach and meet women youve never talked to before. Youll learn how to do it effectively and get dates. As we all know, it can be very scary to approach women. As humans we are wary of the unknown. When we are uncertain whats going to happen in situations we get scared because we dont know the outcome. Often the reason we feel anxious is because we want something from the situation and were afraid of failure. The mentality is, Ive got to get this number/date or else Im a loser. We put pressure on ourselves, trying to always be the best.
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Im about to outline a very powerful way to overcome that fear, explode your confidence and successfully meet women. Heres what I want you to do: Go down to your local major mall or shopping centre. I dont want you to go to clubs or bars, for a specific reason. Theyre too loud. Women will be socializing in large groups, which will intimidate most men, and even if you do approach a group the women wont be able to hear what you say because of the music. If youre going to a shopping mall between Monday and Friday youll find more women there between 3 and 5 pm. If youre planning on going down Saturday or Sunday be there around 12 to 2 pm. What Im going to give you now is an exact step-by-step guide to action. If you follow this guide you cannot fail.
Step 1
If you have a watch, hide it, then approach a male. Yes, you are going to approach a man! There is nothing sexual about this; its about proving a point. Simply approach a man and ask him the time. As humans we have an amazing ability to learn from experience, and its much more effective than simply learning from reading. If you can learn from an experience and feel the emotion associated with that action youll learn a lot more (and faster) than just reading from books. What we are doing here is the power approach concept, which is asking people sincere questions. You must ask an individual something you genuinely want to know. Make sure you dont know the time when you ask the question or youll look stupid. A sincere wish to know will come across cool and calm in your voice, body and words. The reason were asking a guy first is to show you how easy this task can be when you ask someone youre not sexually interested in. There is no fear, anxiety or pressure on you. There is no fear of rejection, because you never wanted anything from this man in the first place (except to know the time)! Now wouldnt it be great to harness this energy and attitude when speaking to a woman you are actually interested in?
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Step 2
Approach a woman you dont find attractive and ask her, Can you tell me which is the best coffee shop around here? Yes an older woman or somebody that you wouldnt particularly like to meet from first impressions. When you have her reply, just say, OK, thanks, bye! Easy! You wont freeze. You wont be lost for words. You wont change your attitude. You wont stutter. You wont embarrass yourself. Youll be confident. Youll be calm. Youll come across normal. Women are attracted to the confidence in men. Step 1 requires you to approach a man; step 2 asks you to approach a woman you have no sexual interest in. By approaching people you arent interested in you learn to approach without anxiety and without the fear of loss. This is exactly how you should act around women you do like. By performing the first two steps youve already stepped outside your comfort zone, talking to people you dont know. Many people find it difficult to even do this. If you find it hard to complete these steps, stop for a minute and look at the significance they could have on the rest of your life. Think what a wonderful girlfriend or exceptional wife you could find by just taking the time to boost your confidence. Arent these easy steps worth that happiness?
Step 3
Approach a woman you do find attractive and ask her, Hey, what are the best clothing stores for guys around here? Listen to her reply, say Thanks! and walk away. Youre already in a shopping centre, so shell definitely have an opinion. Itd be nice to hear her opinion because women will always have different opinions from you on what are the best clothing shops. And you just want to sincerely know this, which makes it natural and cool.
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But if you dont want to sincerely know where the best clothes for guys are, youll come across as fake and most likely get an awkward response. In this case, find a similar question to discover your own way of acting natural during conversations with women.
Continuing Steps
If you do these steps youll have already done more than most men will ever do, but theres one final step. Approach a woman you find attractive and ask her, Do you know what time (your shopping centre name) closes today? Listen to her reply, then say, OK. Thanks. So what are you doing here today? Youve started a conversation with her! Continue talking to as many women as possible and take the interaction as far as possible. If you begin to struggle again, just repeat steps 1 and 2 until your confidence is re-energized. As you approach more and more women youll realize its quite easy, but until then youre learning from the experience. Because these steps seem so simple and straightforward most men wont do them. Very few people actually follow direct instructions because theyre lazy or dont think theyre necessary. They think, I know how to talk to other guys I dont need to do that! But theyre missing the point. Its about learning from the emotions associated with the experience to build your confidence. If you cant fearlessly approach women use these steps.
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Persistence
The quality of persistence is one of the most valuable characteristics a man can have. Its the attitude of someone that doesnt give up when things look like theyre not working out. He fights on and usually finds success, just around the corner, when the average man would give up. Had he stopped he would never have found success. Persistence will help you progress quickly when you start putting these techniques into action. Frequently, women act cold or laugh at men while they talk to women. This especially happens with very attractive women. Of course this is where most men give up, feeling uncomfortable with the situation and assuming the women dislike them. Well, I can verify from many past experiences that, if a man persists and continues to interact with a woman who has shown him no signs of interest, she eventually warms to him and starts liking him. Women often use such behaviour as a shield or a way of weeding out the weaker men. The stronger men know exactly what they want and are willing to hang in there. These women are testing for true masculinity by throwing them the hardest tests in the very beginning. By passing them, the men prove they are the real deal, true masculine men. Now this doesnt mean you should stalk women even though theyve made it perfectly clear they dont want you around. Persistence when meeting new women means not even considering rejection and working towards finding someone that is of interest to you rather than wishing somebody will like you. Can you see the difference there? Learn to persist and youll quickly push past the first signs of failure to find success.
Gradual Improvement
Men often get upset if the first conversation they start with a woman doesnt turn into a date. Listen very carefully. Its very unlikely your first meeting with a woman will turn into a date. Understand things will go wrong at times; its part of the process. Ideas dont always go according to plan. Instead of focusing on getting results, focus on getting experience. When you realise how powerful this principle is and utilise it correctly, success will come. Think about your situation this way: No matter how good you are with women, if you get five numbers a day,
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or no dates all year, today is the worst you will ever be. Tomorrow youll try something new, learn from that experience and grow. Maybe youll go for approaches in a local bar Maybe youll try a new sincere question. Maybe youll attempt a new angle. Whatever it is that you choose to develop, it will only make you stronger through experience.
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distance isnt recommended there are certain circumstances where a few powerful techniques help to gain recognition and celebrity-like status before you even introduce yourself.
Indirect Approaches
Social proof is an interesting piece of psychology that affects every human. Everyday we are faced with hundreds of decisions to make: What jeans should I wear? What cereal should I eat? What shoes should I buy? Whos advice should I listen to? To help us make these decisions we look to people we trust and see what they are doing and follow them. Because we have so many decisions to make, our lives become much easier if someone makes decisions for us. The reason leaders are so valued within our society is because they are rare and stand apart from the majority of people. Jay Abraham, a marketing legend that understood human psychology once said, People are silently begging to be led." So if you can lead others and influence them, you can influence women youre trying to date. Distant flirting is only useful to make women notice you in situations that arent favorable for direct one-on-one encounters. Here are several example scenarios you could use social proof to get a womans attention. It wont always be necessary and wont always produce the results you want but if you find yourself in a situation where theres a lot of distractions distant flirting can work. The best three places for distant and indirect flirting are: Classrooms Parties Club and Bars
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Classrooms
Scenario: Youre in a learning environment and the woman is on the other side of the room. You can make eye contact if shes looking but theres a much more powerful way to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Using your most confident and loud voice simply ask an interesting question, make a funny joke or voice your opinion on something to the teacher. By simply saying anything youre standing out from the crowd and projecting confidence in front of a group. If the funny comment makes 25 people laugh thats great social proof for the woman when you introduce yourself after class. HE JUST: made a joke and made the entire class laugh THAT MEANS: hes funny, intelligent, social and everyone likes him. If everyone likes him then I think I like him too. If your contribution to the class wasnt embarrassing or stupid youll have a much better response when you talk to the woman. This is one of the rare opportunities where women can actually see you as a celebrity and can trust you the minute you approach them.
Parties
Scenario: The woman is at the party but is always crowded with other people. While you cant make jokes that everyone at the party can hear you can still use social proof to your advantage at a house party. People tend to stay for extended periods of time during house parties so you have more opportunities to delay speaking to your woman of interest. If the woman is hard to get hold of, speak to all of her friends. Introductions build your social proof and allow you to intercept her conversations with the people youve spoken to previously. This way the friends youve spoken to happily introduce you and build social proof for you automatically. Oh Sarah, this is John, hes really cool.
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HE JUST: got introduced by my best friend. THAT MEANS: my friend, who I love and trust, likes this guy. If she likes him then so do I. This technique isnt necessary but it can give you an edge over the other guys whore competing for the same girl. This way when the woman is talking to another man you tell her friend (someone she trusts) that hes no good for her and make her friend pull the woman back to your circle. This flirting technique improves your chances of succeeding in very competitive situations.
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Flirting Formula
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In short, flirting is vaguely and playfully suggesting sexual interest in somebody. Think about how you nurtured friendships with the people in your life. I doubt you and your best friend grew an incredibly strong bond by simply sharing experiences, fears, memories, secrets and other personal information with one another. Although personal experiences build relationships you cant expect to build trust and togetherness on that level with someone youve just met. When we meet people for the first time our interactions should be light-hearted, fun and playful. Once our impressions are made and we enjoy the company of another person we begin to open up to them and nurture that relationship. But when trying to attract women, leaving a stunning first impression is the hardest part of the whole experience. Both men and women have been socially conditioned to act very reserved around strangers and acquaintances. The problem is if you act like a stranger around new women, that is all youll continue to be-- a stranger. So how do you talk to beautiful women and make them want you more than anything in the world? What is the driving force responsible for leaving an unforgettable first impression on women and the true essence of flirting? Emotion. Let me ask you a question. Why do you think women are addicted to romantic novels and soap operas while these forms of media repel most men? They are full of emotion. Women are unconsciously drawn to these media forms the same way men turn their heads and watch a beautiful woman enter the room. Women are attracted to an emotional connection; men are attracted to physical beauty. Novels and soap operas wouldnt be read or broadcasted if they didnt contain conflict, drama, tension and emotion. So if women are actually addicted to strong emotion doesnt it seem logical to use this form of communication to attract women?
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If they think differently, then they talk and communicate completely differently as well. In order to get women to feel sexually attracted to you, you need to speak differently-- you need to flirt. If you are not having success with women then obviously its time to try something different. In order to be phenomenal with women you need to make sure you learn to speak their language. The goal of flirting is to attract women and make them realize you have all the qualities theyre looking for.
Interpretation
Lets say youve been talking to a woman for several minutes and you pinch her hat straight off her head and she tries to snatch it back from you as you constantly hide it behind your back, smiling and laughing. Does this seem like an absurd thing to do? Youre saying, Wont that screw up my chances of dating her? In fact, by doing this youll most likely increase your chances of dating the woman. Why do you think this simple act would be so powerful in attracting women? Its not what you say or do, but the meanings behind a statement or action that make women find you irresistible. No matter what you do, whether its show up late, laugh at her, buy her gifts, compliment her, grab her hand, smile at her or turn away, women are interpreting what these things mean. HE JUST: playfully took my hat off my head and made me chase him to get it back. THAT MEANS: He is very confident, funny, secure, in control, hard to get, playful and really fun! Hes not just interested only in my looks because hes not sucking up to me like all the other guys. Hes actually kind of mysterious and Im not really sure if he likes me or not. I like this guy. Thats a lot of great qualities for doing something as simple as harmlessly playing with her hat, isnt it? All the flirting techniques throughout this book are designed to project powerful qualities to which women are attracted. Women love confidence so act in a way that shows youre confident. Even simple acts without words, such as stealing her hat, project many powerful characteristics about you.
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Flirting Instincts
To understand flirting better think of it in terms of a courting ritual. Just like other animals look for the biggest tusks, most colorful wings or physical strength, a woman looks for a man with enough confidence to protect her. Instead of colors or tusks think of humans as using their voices as a complex courting process designed to attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately men often experience rejection or use flirting at inappropriate times, which leads to associating flirting with pain and failure. From then on they never try to play or flirt with women because they believe it doesnt work. Just like exercising a muscle, once they stop being flirty and fun because the pain of rejection is so strong they slowly lose those skills.
Anti-Flirting
The biggest mistake men make when interacting with beautiful women is speaking emotionless conversation. While starting conversations with women seems hard enough it appears even more daunting to keep a great fun conversation going. When men hang around with their friends they laugh, make jokes, have fun and dont take things too seriously, but strangely when a man suddenly finds himself interested in a beautiful woman he usually becomes very reserved. He stops laughing He stops making jokes He stops teasing He stops having fun He stops being flirtatious. When in the presence of a potential date, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe he has with his friends he suddenly becomes boring. He wont make jokes or laugh with the woman; he wont play around like he does with his friends and he takes things way too seriously. Why? Why do men change their actions around women usually without even realizing it? Men are afraid to lose their only chance with a particular woman and that ultimately turns them into Mr. Serious Man. Men get so nervous talking to beautiful women that they lose all creativity and cant make interesting conversation. Fearful that they might say something rude or challenging they resort to boring walking on egg shells conversations, which results in no
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emotion. While men can tell you that its important to not be boring when interacting with women, they dont even realize theyre doing it. Remember this simple law. 1 2 3 4 5 When you fear loosing a woman you become cautious. When youre cautious you become serious. When youre serious you become boring. When youre boring women arent attracted. When women arent attracted you dont get a date.
Men have such a strong I must have this girl attitude that the more they desire a woman, the more serious and boring they become in their poor attempt to date them. Although films and television strongly encourage the idea of begging women, it doesnt work. These values are used to evoke emotion for the movie experience and in some cases suggest that buying into this behavior leads to success. It always seems like Mr. Romantic is doing the right thing by standing outside a balcony window every night singing love songs, reading poetry and bringing flowers until his dream girl finally falls in love with him. While these actions may seem romantic and work in movies, we dont live in the movies; we live in the real world. Women can smell manipulative men miles away and dont respect their child-like behavior. Remember always acting playful and silly around your brothers and sisters when you were growing up? Whether you were older or younger usually determined who was in control of the playing. If you were older, youll probably recall calling your siblings harmless names, hiding their toys and making them beg for them back. But unfortunately as men grow into adults they forget their playful instincts and try to make logical sense of everything. Before reading this book you may have heard of the term flirting but never really understood what it was or thought it wasnt necessary to attract women. As you learn the flirting techniques within this book youll recall other times during your life when you behaved like this. Remember them and bring them back.
As we can see from the dictionary definition above rapport is a relationship involving trust and the ability to like somebody. The fastest way to build relationships with people is to share personal information about yourself with another human being. When you talk to a woman and talk
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about things you have in common or experiences, you are building rapport. The longer you talk to someone and discuss a wide variety of topics the more rapport you build. Rapport is how you constantly nurture and grow your relationships with friends, family and anyone with which you come in contact. The most common mistake is starting with rapport and trying to build a sexual attraction later on. Heres the simplest way to remember how to interact in any given situation. 1. Flirt till shes attracted to you. 2. Then maintain the flirting and begin to reveal personal information about yourself. Its the information about yourself that helps build relationships your name, job, dreams, hobbies, interests and memories-- but its the emotions you evoke through your personality that sparks attraction-- your confidence, security, sense of humor, leadership, mystery and playfulness. Never try and build rapport without first being flirtatious, fun and playful. Without showing proof that youre desirable she has no reason to be interested in you. Nothing has set off the attraction. Talking about hobbies, life ambition, careers and education can be fascinating conversation and can work if youre flirtatious but most men who start on the boring demographic questions find it difficult to transition into a flirtatious mood later. Most men have the urge to get into these questions first and then try to be playful and flirtatious, attempting to make her sexually aroused after they have already become friends. This rarely works. Instead, youre about to learn how to become irresistible with flirtatious communication.
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Verbal Flirting
Voice Tone Voice Volume Voice Speed Voice Smoothness Spoken Words Finding the right words to say to women continues to be the hardest thing for men to overcome. Comedians often say, Its not what you say, but how you say it and they are completely right. A single word response such as What? can be interpreted dozens of ways depending on the characteristics of the voice. It could be angry, surprised, uninterested or curious. Say, what in using each of these emotions and note the difference in your voice. If you want to successfully flirt with women stop thinking about the right words and start to deliver your words in a confident and irresistible manner. Below are the verbal flirting characteristics that are responsible for attracting women. Voice Tone Women often say that deep voices are extremely sexy. Deep voices are sexy because they represent a cool, fearless, in control personality. A deep masculine voice is universally more attractive to women and helps distinguish your voice from all others. This sort of voice becomes very important in isolated and private settings when youre together with women. How to deepen your voice: 1 2 3 4 5 6 Place your hand on your chest Say a few words and note the feeling on your hand Stop talking and begin to hum Lower the tone to increase the bass in your voice. Note the feeling on your hand Continue to hum and turn the sound into words
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You dont need to have an extremely deep voice but it should be deep enough to communicate that youre comfortable in the presence of women. If you notice when you talk to women your voice becomes squeaky from nervousness use this technique to compose your voice. Voice Volume Sometimes for fun I ask women what they like about men. While consciously women want their men to be, nice, caring, romantic, etc, unconsciously they want men who are masculine. When I ask what they like, these women respond with things like: I like a man who holds himself well I like a man who knows what he wants I like a man whos sure of himself I like a man whos not intimidated by me I like a man whos not nervous While from first glance these qualities may all seem different they are in fact all the same. Unconsciously women want confident men. Part of a confident voice is the volume you project. Confident men flirt with loud, strong and clear voices. Unconfident men speak with soft, weak and muffled voices that project fear and low self-esteem. If you want to get the attention of women start speaking with a louder voice. If women intimidate you, chances are your voice is very soft. Boost your voice to a volume that seems too loud and youll speak at a comfortable volume. Because youre not use to speaking at this volume it will seem very loud; dont worry, practice makes perfect. Voice Speed Public speaking is a great fear for most people. When somebody stands up to speak you can tell exactly how confident they are just by the speed of their voice. When we talk to our friends we speak in a cool calm voice and at a reasonably slow pace . If you hear a terrified person make a speech against their will, youll hear the fear in their voice. Unconfident people speak at an unnaturally fast pace to get it over and done with. They are so uncomfortable at public speaking that they rattle off their speech so fast most people have trouble getting the main points. Just by listening to the pace of your voice women can determine if youre
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nervous. For men who are terrified at meeting women heres a great tip: Speak at half the speed you think you should be talking and youll most likely be talking at a natural pace. Voice Timing Comedians are funny because they deliver their jokes with great timing. Learn to add emphasis, pauses, pace changes and fluctuating vocal tone. If you want to know exactly how to talk to women study some of the most confident public speakers and coaches of our time. Go to seminars and listen to confident people speak on TV, noting the characteristics of the speakers. A lot of men say they know what makes a confident voice and how to project one but when it comes time to approach women and use this confident voice they freeze up. Just knowing something doesnt make you an expert; you must put what you know into practice. Spoken Words The words you speak have very little impact on your ability to attract women. Having said that there are words or lines you can say that will repel women so fast you wont know where shes gone. Lines that define women as sexual objects, creatures of desire or nothing but a shell of physical beauty dont work. You cant flirt with women by being too direct about your intentions. Hey cutie, babe, hot stuff are terrible lines for first impressions. As mentioned before, women interpret the meaning behind your words, so think about these words from a womans perspective. Whenever in doubt always use the formula below designed to transform action into meaning. HE JUST: said Hey sexy THAT MEANS: hes only interested in my looks. I know this because hes never met me before and doesnt know anything about me. If hes saying things like this without getting to know me then he just wants to sleep with me. Having said that, there are exceptions to every rule. Some men can walk up to women and have them charmed by saying the above phrases. Usually these men have much more experience and know what theyre doing. In learning to flirt for the first time realize that everything can work when you understand the deeper meaning behind your actions.
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More Than Words As we move onto non-verbal flirting remember that flirting is much more about how you use your voice rather than the words you say. This point has been repeated, but with good reason. When a friend talks about the success hes had hell tell his friends the lines he used rather than what he did and how he acted. These friends then go and tryout their newly found pickup lines only to get harshly rejected. They conclude the lines dont work and give up. If they realized that flirting is more about the delivery than the lines, everything would make sense to them.
Non-Verbal Flirting
Throughout the next several chapters youll discover many examples and illustrated diagrams of verbal and non-verbal flirting you can use to attract women. But before we explain flirting during steps of the dating game, its necessary we highlight the important non-verbal aspects all women notice even before you open your mouth. Body Language Body language is how you communicate your feelings through your eyes, facial gestures, stance, posture and movements. Its called body language because its a universal language that all people can understand no matter what language they speak. An angry person frowns, yells, and makes fast agitated movements while a sad person moves very little, is very quiet and curls up into a ball, hiding from the world. Body language is significant because the best body language interpreters in the world are women. Women are very good at interpreting body language for one reason: Its the basis for determining whether a man is irresistible or not. While men primarily focus on womens physical beauty, women focus on how men hold themselves. Are they confident? Do they have self-respect? Do they have high self-esteem? Did you know that women could know how confident you are just by the way you stand? Confident men are irresistible to women the same way beautiful women are irresistible to men. For this reason women always interpret mens body language. Heres an example.
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HE JUST: walked past with his back hunched over and had his eyes fixed towards the ground. THAT MEANS: hes very unconfident, probably has low self-esteem, is shy, probably doesnt have very good social skills and would be very boring and possibly doesnt have many friends. Surprising? Did you ever think that the way you hold yourself determines how women view your personality and social status? The message here is that body language and the way you hold yourself is extremely important when flirting. Throughout the later chapters youll see illustrated diagrams that show you nonverbal flirting (body language) that all women are unconsciously drawn towards. These non-verbal techniques will accompany the verbal flirting to achieve maximum results. Energy Energy is the fuel that keeps us going throughout our day. Without energy people cant do anything except sleep. Do you remember a time when you had to be somewhere and interact with people but you had zero energy? People in our world dont value their bodies anymore. We believe we have to stay up late and study for exams or go out every weekend and party till 5 am. With this fast-paced, instant gratification society we live in today we want everything and we want it now. This occurs because we over eat, stress ourselves out and pack too much into every day, which ultimately burns us out. No matter how energetic you are you could definitely use more energy during your day. People who lack energy are very grumpy and have no passion for life. Can you remember a time when you were really tired and felt upset but couldnt explain it? Even though you were around people you loved, for some reason everyone was just making you angry? Lack of energy is the answer. People who dont have enough energy to flirt come across as boring, emotionless and monotone in their speech. If you want to show women youre an exciting and irresistible man, first you need the energy to prove it. Lacking energy is also linked to laziness. Surprisingly while approaching women can be scary for some men, a lot of guys simply dont approach because they lack the energy and are thus lazy. Successfully meeting, flirting, attracting and dating women takes a lot of energy. How can you possibly impress women without energy? Here are three tips for endless amounts of energy.
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Energy Tip 1: Get Proper Sleep While the average adult needs around 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep most people only sleep 7 hours. While this doesnt seem very bad, if you followed this sleeping pattern for one year you would lose 504 hours sleep! Thats 21 days of sleep. As you can see over time this adds up and is often responsible for sickness, lack of concentration and even depression. While most peoples lifestyle isnt this extreme everyone has experienced sleepless nights. Below are some tips for better sleep, more energy and thus greater ability to flirt and attract women. Avoid caffeine When people feel tired the first thing they reach for is caffeine. Coffee and other caffeine drinks affect everyone differently but some can find it difficult to sleep even after only one cup of coffee before dinner. Avoid alcohol While alcohol makes you feel drowsy and helps you sleep, it often wakes people up after only several hours sleep and stops the body from entering the deepest stage of sleep where the body heals and recovers itself. This is often why people feel so sluggish after a night of hard drinking. Go to bed early and get up early The earlier you go to bed the better. When electricity didnt exist humans when to bed when the sun went down, nowadays we stay up way past our bedtime. Your body is conditioned to do most of its recharging between 11pm and 1am. If you go to bed after these hours everyday youll constantly be tired and sluggish. Dont stimulate the brain before bed If you watch TV, exercise or read suspenseful books before bed youll find it hard to sleep. Make it a habit to unwind an hour or two before bed rather than suddenly trying to sleep after an energy-intensive activity. Keep a Rhythm Give your body a routine it can stick to by going to bed and waking up the same time every night. No one can go to bed the same time every night but make the effort to have a sleep routine a majority of the time. People who try to accomplish too much tend to go to sleep very late and get up late. Falling into a
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routine like that makes it very difficult to change your sleeping patterns to more suitable hours. Listen to mellow music If you find it hard to unwind before bed listen to soft, mellow music. Stay away from heavy rock and techno if you want to sleep. Hide your clock Staring at your ceiling for more than an hour is frustrating enough but if you turn over to your clock and see that its been two hours that just increases stress and makes it even harder to fall asleep. Make sure there are no visible clocks in your room when you sleep. Just remember that the more sleep you get the more energy you have and the more energy you have the better you flirt with women. Energy Tip 2: Energizing Exercise Everyone knows that exercise is good for you but how many people do you know that actually jog or swim on a regular basis? If you can motivate yourself to do between 30 60 minutes of moderate paced exercise every morning, youll feel totally energized. If you havent exercised for several months you may get some minor muscle pain until your body adapts. After only a week youll see enormous changes in your day-to-day activities. Youll be faster, happier, stronger, healthier and more positive. Lots of exercise = lots of breathing = lots of oxygen = lots of blood circulation = lots of energy Energy Tip 3: Eat in Moderation Most people feel tired when they wake up, between 3 5pm and 11pm. Its during these times that people have an urge for sugar to give them a kick-start. Even though eating sugar and caffeine make you feel like you have instant energy, these foods make you sluggish and tired only hours after ingesting them. Instead walk around, listen to music, and socialize to reenergize yourself. Now that you understand what is necessary to flirt with women, its time to explain the types of flirting that attract women. Even though the actual words you say have very little impact on your success, learning to use the right flirting techniques will make you do the right things, skyrocketing you automatically to being successful with women.
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Playfully Provoke
If she's sitting on your bed push her off. If she's enjoying the movie throw popcorn at her. If she's enjoying lying down tickle her. Steal her hat off her head.
Playfully Disagree
If she says shes a good girl, tell her you want someone bad. If she says shes cool, say youre cooler or shes a dork. If she likes something say it doesn't look good. If she thinks something is cool give her a weird look. If she says she doesn't like something say how good it looks. If she sits next to you tell her to keep her distance
Playfully Accuse
If she says she likes an actor, tell her she has a crush on him If she places her hand on your leg, give her a weird look like she coming on to you. If she says lets go home, say, Im not going home with you! I dont even know you! Accuse her of being a bad girl whenever possible.
Playfully Compete
If you're both playing a game make a confident wager that youll win. Always cheat to win. Poke your tongue out at her. Playfully walk away.
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As you can see the above graph is a circle divided into three equal sections. They are in the form of a circle because each is equally important and all must be done. Lets briefly define each step of this formula. Confident To make women comfortable by being confident Playful To make women interested by playfully with them Sexual To make women desire you by strategically communicating your interest Lets detail each of these qualities and provide examples to make it easier to understand.
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Confident Flirting
HE JUST: said I look like a dork in this hat. THAT MEANS: hes confident and independent. Hes not kissing up to me like all the other guys and isnt trying to get anything from me, or is he? I like him. Can you see how telling a woman she looks like a dork works so well? While this behavior may seem mean or fake you must realize something. Look at these two examples to better understand the concept thats about to change your perception forever. Example #1 A young man was brought up into a rich household and grew up with everything he ever wanted. He had the latest sports car, his own apartment and all the best suits. All he had to do was ask his father for his credit card. This man even got a job because of his fathers business connections. The Result: This man didnt value his success. Example #2 A young man grew up with his single mother who earned just enough money to survive. He spent 2 hours traveling on three buses and a train to attend college for which he paid for himself by working two part time jobs. He eventually opened up a successful and profitable business from the knowledge he acquired in college. The Result: This man valued his success. As you can see both men grew up with very different lifestyles. The big difference was the second man valued everything while the first man didnt. Which brings us to a fundamental rule about life and dating women. That which is not earned is not valued. Dont treat women special just because you like them. Dont call women every day and crave their attention. Dont jump at every opportunity to do womens gardening, laundry and fix their electrical problems. Dont reveal your life story and problems to women early on. Dont bitch, snicker and base your conversations around negativity.
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looking for confident man that engages her mind with mystery and challenge. Without these attributes men dont provide women with any real value for choosing a boyfriend. They arent looking for men to baby-sit, theyre looking for a protector, provider and lover. Men who act super-eager and horny repel women very quickly. If youre difficult to impress, women need to work to impress you. If women need to work, they need to earn you. If women need to earn you, they value you.
This is quite a shift in thinking, isnt it? Think of it this way. A door-to-door salesmen get rejected the second you find out he is trying to sell you something. Similarly, very attractive women will reject you the second she finds out you like her if youve communicated it in some stupid obvious way. Heres how to make women value you: Courageously approach her cool and calm to show youre not scared or super eager. Tease her by treating her like just a buddy to prove youre not just interested in her looks Act playfully unimpressed to show you have real value. Be firm if shes late, make sure she respects your time.
People may read this and think, This earn/value rule doesnt apply to dating. Dating is totally different. Unfortunately this is basic human psychology that is relevant in all situations. Why dont women date men who desperately want them? Women dont find these men challenging. What is not earned is not valued. Here are 8 great flirting techniques to project confidence to let women know youre extremely valuable. These techniques attract women and position you as one of the most unique guys shes met in a long time. Tongue Poke At some point during conversation poke your tongue out at the woman. This is extremely playful and shell probably start playing along with your flirtatious behavior. Use it when theres a silence, when shes waiting for you to respond to her question or just in the middle of the conversation.
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After talking for some time you can walk up to her and look over her head as if youre looking for something. You can then say, Where did Sarah go? Dont stand too close just close enough to get the point across. Youll usually get a playful hit for this one because it implies that shes short. If youre the same height or just a little bit shorter stand on your toes to add some extra height. Being the same height can actually make this technique work better because its sarcastic humor. Youre saying shes short even though shes clearly level with your height. If youre feeling extra confident even say this to a woman whos taller than you. Stand in Front While talking, stand in front of her and playfully point something out in the distance and saying something like, Wow, check out that wall, thats really cool. Women usually find it uncomfortable for men to enter their personal space when theyve just met but what youre doing is standing in front of her with your back facing her. This technique also works great when shes waiting for her question to be answered or during an uncomfortable silence in the conversation. Doing something playful like this can spice things up if theyve gone dull. The idea is to use something very plain so she knows youre not being serious. If you said, Hey check out that plane and actually meant it, she would think youre rude and arrogant. This communicates youre flirty and playful but not going to drop everything for her. You have power and no ones going to take that away from you. Walk Away As you flirt with her playfully walk away from something she says. This technique works great if you do it for something meaningless and pointless. If she says, I like pink clothes, you can say, Oh I dont think I can be seen talking to you anymore and walk away. Dont use this technique to walk away from something offensive. If she said something like, Youre so cute, just like a teddy bear, and you walk away youre communicating youre easily upset and cant keep your cool. The idea is to be playful so the sillier the reason for walking away the funnier and more successful itll be. Arms of Steel Look at her arm then just squeeze it near her shoulder with a surprised look on your face. You can then say, Wow, I wouldnt want to meet you in a dark alley. Arms of steel! implying shes a huge masculine man. Touching: Only use this technique if you feel the woman is already comfortable
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around you or else shell feel endangered by physical contact. Humor is based on opposites and sarcasm so dont use this technique if she has large arms for a woman, otherwise youd be teasing her insecurities and thats not what you want. Of course no woman wants to feel masculine because theyre a women, so by implying shes masculine when she clearly not becomes funny. Sympathetic Pat When she makes a comment about something that seems funny or strange simply look at her sympathetically and pat her on the head. For example if she said, I likes shopping at X shopping mall, you can pat her on the head and say, Its ok. This implies she needs better taste. Use it in response to her clothes, quirky hobbies or other harmless things. Remember these techniques are supposed to be playful, use them when things are silly and inoffensive. Again only use this technique when youve spoken for a few minutes and gained her trust. Embarrassed or Weird Look Give her an embarrassed or weird look for something she says or does. Again when she makes a comment about something, for example you may say, What brand are those sunglasses? And she says, Oh these are (expensive fashionable brand), if you give her an embarrassed look it implies she has no taste. You can use this technique when she answers your question or does something silly. Of course this embarrassed look is suppose to be fun and playfully, if you look serious youll scare the woman off very fast. Unlike the above technique, this technique can be used the moment you introduce yourself to a woman because it doesnt involve touching. Catch Me If You Can Grab or take an item of hers and playfully keep it from her. If youve been talking for a while you can ask to look at some sort of bracelet or hat shes wearing. Then when she asks for it back you can make her playfully try and grab it back. If she doesnt ask for it back you can get things going by saying something like, Hmm, I think Im going to keep this. Then pretend to give it back and quickly move your hand when she tries to grab it. This flirting technique is very similar to how an older child would play with his younger brother or sister. This flirtatious behavior is lots of fun and women love it if youre smiling and laughing as youre doing it.
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Playful Flirting
HE JUST: grabbed my hands and started playing a slapping game to decide if hes cooler than me. THAT MEANS: hes social, playful and knows how to have more fun than all those jocks out there. He doesnt take things too seriously. I like him. Can you see how there is some subtle tension and conflict within this example? If a man is playfully communicating he is cooler than a woman he is disagreeing. For most men the thought of disagreeing with women sounds absurd. Why would you want to get into a conflict with a woman youre interested in? First, were not talking about a serious fight. Were talking about a playful flirtatious conflict. Remember women are attracted to the feelings men give them. And the feelings of a playful battle are very emotionally intense. Playful conflicts focused on women create emotionally intense conversations that attract women. Its obvious women want somebody interesting and fun to hang out with. But often all the things men know about being fun and interesting in social situations go out the window the minute they start talking to a beautiful woman. I say, talking because rather than flirting with women they think theyre being fresh and original by asking boring demographic questions like: Where do you live? How old are you? Where do you work? Whats your family like? Do you have any pets? Whats your brothers, best friends favorite color? There is nothing wrong with these questions, but unless you add in playful disagreement women wont feel attracted to you. The problem with demographic questions is, once started, its very difficult to transition into a more fun and interesting conversation. Of course you can use these questions if done correctly. Asking a woman Where do you live? and then playfully transitioning into an emotionally intense argument about why your neighborhood is cooler than hers puts you on the right track. If you playfully build conflict you build tension.
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If you build tension you build intense emotion. If you build intense emotion you attract women. As you can see sometimes the strangest ideas work in ways we couldnt imagine. What you must remember is that women are different creatures; they feel attraction for men completely differently. Emotion is much more powerful than a mans looks. So what ways can you build conflict? The most powerful way to evoke emotion is to focus on the woman. Here are 5 examples of playful flirting. Playfully settle verbal arguments in silly ways and always make sure you win. Thumb Wrestling Challenge her to a thumb war to settle a playful argument. While having a playful argument over something like who is the coolest, whos shoes are more stylish or whos neighborhood rocks the most challenge her to a thumb war to determine who is right. Its childish but extremely playful and emotionally intense. Always make sure you win, so feel free to use your other hand to cheat. This shows youre easy going and dont take things too seriously. If she genuinely gets upset from your cheating you know youve found a very serious uninteresting woman. Playfully steal something of value to her. Photo Snatch Ask to see her wallet and take out her photo ID and make fun of it. If she doesnt want to show you, show her your photo ID first and make fun of it if it looks silly. Almost every single woman hates other people looking at their photo IDs. Shell most likely try and snatch it back from you as fast as possible because the photo was taken when she had a hairstyle she didnt like or when she was much younger. If shes not ashamed of the photo its hard to be playful about it; just play it as it goes. Playfully provoke her in someway. Playing Poker Ask her if shes any good at poker and then poke her ticklish area around the waist and hips. Realize that touching a woman is a big deal when you start dating, people only feel comfortable with others touching if they trust them. If the woman trusts you poke her around the rib cage where shes most ticklish. The first date might not be the best time to engage in this playful behavior. It just depends on how comfortable you make her feel around you. Even the second date might not be the right time for this; just make your own judgments. If youre not sure leave it. Playfully insist she is wrong about something.
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Shoulder Tap Tap her on the shoulder and quickly turn around denying it was you. This technique is childish but works like a charm. Tap the woman on her shoulder when shes not looking then turn away. Whether you turn away in time or not doesnt matter. Let her catch you turning away with a big smile on your face. Continue to look away or look around the room with a silly face to avoid eye contact. You can finish by saying something like, It wasnt me! It was that guy on the other side of the room! I swear! He just ran back over there really really fast honest. Playfully contrast the current situation. Mr. Serious When youre both having a fun, great time, laughing and giggling put on the most serious straight face you can make and say, Ok, ok were having too much fun. Stop it! No more fun! If youre in a highly energetic and playful mood, shell stop for a second and then burst into laughter. Or she may play along. In that case put on your most serious face together with a really monotone voice and start saying things like, Ok So do you have a house? Yep me too I have a house. Wow, thats fascinating. Hmmm So do you like stuff? Say something completely obvious and say it with the most serious face you can. While youre having a boring conversation youre actually communicating that you understand boring conversations and making fun of them in the process. As long as youre doing this after something completely fun and playful this will be hilarious.
Sexual Flirting
While friends talk about hobbies, the weekend and gossip there is one form of communication that two friends never engage in together. Flirting is more than telling jokes, being funny and being confident. Intent Sexual flirting speaks right to a womans core and allows her to understand you in her language. While men tend to think very logically and straight down the line, women think emotionally. When interested in men women hit and tease them , while women who arent interest tend to stay in demographical So where do you live? sorts of conversations. She can be interested in your conversations, which can go for hours, but shell never feel attracted to you. Why? Women are different creatures; therefore they think, feel and act differently. If
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you want women to realize youre the man shes been searching for you need to speak suggestively. You dont do this by saying how beautiful she looks but rather by saying shes a bad girl. While sexual flirting is probably the most powerful type of flirting that exists, it is also the most difficult to understand. What makes this form of flirting so powerful is the intent. Instead of just talking about each other youre playfully suggesting that you should be together without actually saying it. If you said, you know, we would fight all the time youre communicating the possibility of dating without saying stupid like, I think youre very beautiful and Ive liked you for a long time now. Will you go out with me? If you add sexual innuendos and suggestive comments to your emotionally intense playful arguments or conflicts youll create magic. Suggest Attraction Its because you want me Be bold. Be brave and say this with confidence. You never know she may start to like you after your confident statement. She doesnt have to like you but the idea of sexual flirting is getting women to think about the statements you say. You can recycle this joke over and over during your interaction by saying, Sarah! Stop liking me so much! No funny business Ok? I dont even know you yet If she wasnt thinking about sex before she will be after this statement. Understand that suggesting attraction only works if the woman finds you socially fun and interesting; if youre boring and have nothing to talk about then youll just come across totally weird. Could you imagine saying, No funny business Ok? with low self-esteem and no confidence or social skills? The woman would just flat out laugh at you. Role Play Coupling We would fight all the time. Subtly implying how much you guys wouldnt work out. This comment is great when youre having an emotionally intense playful conflict. It works like magic. (At the cinema) Hey lets get married right now! Well get the popcorn guy to be the priest Suggesting marriage sounds absurd to most men but if you do this playfully
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shell realize youre independent, confidence and dont take dating seriously. Imply Shes Sexually Aggressive Youre such a bad girl. You can bring sexual ideas into the conversation without being shallow. There are certain words, regardless of their context, that are always interpreted with a sexual connotation. Words and phrases such as innocent naughty bad girl good girl trouble maker mischief maker are great examples. Some women actually play into the Yes, Im a bad girl idea while others laugh and try and convince you theyre not. Of course when she says, Hey, Im not innocent! implying shes feisty and aggressive like a man, tell her youre not interested in a sexually aggressive woman. On the other hand if she says she is innocent you can say youre looking for someone wild. Can you see what were doing here? Instead of always agreeing with women youre making them fight for your approval and showing them youre not so easily earned. Always flirt by offering the opposite opinion to the woman, building conflict, which builds intense emotion required for playful flirting. Somebodys feisty. Again this statement could be made at many appropriate moments to imply her aggressive nature. You could say it: When youre playing with each others feet under the table When youre looking at her photo. When shes trying to take back something you stole. When she touches you unexpectedly. When she rests her hand on your leg. Obviously statements like these cant be used without a context. Never memorized an entire script of dialogue to say around women because youll come off totally weird and say things out of context in a strange rehearsed tone. Imply Shes Naughty What sort of mischief are you getting into lately? What sort of trouble are you getting into lately? These statements work best to restart conversations. Use them when text
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messaging women or meeting up with them for a date. This statement is great for re-starting up the flirtatious atmosphere between the two of you. Youre in so much trouble. While this works great after a comment she makes it can also work really well straight out of the blue. Of course this evokes lots of curiosity as she wonders why shes in trouble? You dont actually need a reason if she asks about why shes in trouble but you can always make up a playful one. While its important to deliver this line smiling and playfully you can actually say it with a completely straight face. Once youve said it you can crack the littlest smile to show her youre joking. Great situations to use this type of flirting are when she: Meets you for her date (whether shes on time or late) Picks some food off your plate Drops something or makes a clumsy mistake Imply Youre A Man HE JUST: jokingly said, Come on Ill buy you a diamond ring. No really I will! THAT MEANS: he isnt easy to win over and has power when choosing who he dates. He understands exactly how most losers act around me and is making fun of them. I like him. The general rule: Say things that dorks would seriously say or do and make them sarcastic and playful. Most men buy women expensive gifts, call them every day, do helpful things they would never normally do and even say they love them. Use these behaviors to show you understand her. Other variations are: Come on Ill only call you every-single day! Come on Ill buy you the biggest diamond ring money can buy. No seriously I will. I really need to find a way to impress you. Come on Ill do your laundry. If the woman says, Youll really do my laundry? act disgusted and say, No! What do you think I am youre slave? Dont ever let her think youre being serious. I think I secretly love you. No really I think Im going to stalk you everyday. This statement can only be said if you understand how to joke. If you said this in a really plain tone of voice she would think youve being 100 per cent serious. Can you see how what you say is nowhere near as important as how you say it?
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Playfulness has been emphasized in nearly every example during this chapter so you can really understand the language of flirting. If you use any of these techniques and you claim they dont work, its because youre saying it at the wrong time or in the wrong way. Sexual Actions A significant part of being what women call a real man is taking charge in all situations. Women often say, I like a man who knows what he wants. Unfortunately this statement baffles most men. A man who knows what he wants doesnt ask for permission. He takes the leadership role in every situation and expects others to comply. If youre ever in clubs or bars watch as the dominant men control the situation by approaching women, talking to them, taking them by the hand and guiding them through the club to another location. These men expect women to follow their lead. They dont politely ask they just do it. You might think this attitude seems rude or careless, but what you must understand is that women want men to do this. Why do you think men who ask, What movie do you want see? get responses such as: I dont know. I dont really care. You decide. Women want men to be the leaders. Men who ask women to make the decisions get vague responses like the examples above because women want men to lead. The woman is offering the man a chance to affirm his manliness. Real men make decisions. It may seem daunting to maintain this sort of control, but as the behaviors are broken down into actions it will become clearer. When women say they are attracted to strong men, they dont mean physically strong. They mean men who can control situations. But unless men start these interactions they wont ever get a chance to control them. A masculine male begins by starting the conversation and continues to initiate and advance to each logical step of the dating process. Heres the basic list of initiatives men take during their encounters with women: | 1 2 3 4 5 Meet the woman. 6. Set the date. Lead the conversation. 7. Make all decisions. Get her number. 8. End the date. Call her. 9. Set further encounters. Plan the date. 10. Establish intimacy.
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Men lack the courage to take control of situations for one reason: insecurity and fear. If I do that she wont like me; shell leave me. No! If you lead and control all situations youll attract the women youve always wanted with incredible consistency.
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These women are approached hundreds of times a week by men communicating their interest for them. This may be flattering for sometime but after a while it gets "boring". If she could have any man within 5 seconds of meeting him what fun and excitement would be left? People want to lead spontaneous, wild and unpredictable lives. But for this to happen people need to be presented with the unexpected, the challenging and the mysterious. As Albert Einstein once said, The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. so lets learn how to be unpredictable, exciting and challenging and intensify every womans emotions. Uncertainty/variety is a core need of every human being and men who present challenges fulfill this deep need within women. Remember we said that women are attracted to emotions and the feelings men give them. So if a woman is 100% sure she can have a man because he communicated this in some really obvious way, how much effort is she going to put into calling him, making an effort talk to him or begging him to catch up? She wouldnt chase him because she knows he's there for her whenever she wants and that's something she can take for granted. So how do we flirt in a way that portrays us as possessing these attractive qualities?
Flirting Formula
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playful and really fun! Hes not just interested in my looks because hes not sucking up to me like all the other guys. In fact Im not even sure if he is interested in me. Im going to keep flirting with him and get to the bottom of this. RESULT: shes attracted. Do you see how playful flirting challenges and attracts women? Now that you understand why this type of flirting is necessary lets look at more examples that attract the sort of woman for whom youre looking. By learning verbal techniques that work, other aspects of your personality will develop automatically transforming you into the irresistible man women want.
Cute Line
Awe Youre so cute. Flirting with a woman by saying shes cute can be said at almost anytime and really gets emotions running. Women know you are putting them down in a nice, fun and playful way. Usually women are the ones men cant figure out. Instead turn the tables in your favor.
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HER: Yeah YOU: Really? (Pointing to the other guy) Aww thats awesome I think you two would make a cute couple! HER: Yuk! YOU: I can see a potential future for the two of you. HER: No way! YOU: Come on, Ill introduce you to him. HER: No!! (laughing, giggling) Most men dont understand why you would try and playfully match make a woman youre interested in with another man because they dont realize two very important things. First, you are proving you really dont need her, projecting independence as a masculine man and second, youre having fun. All people want to have fun so make sure the woman associates fun with you. Tease, flirt and accuse all you want. You do what you want, youre a masculine man remember?
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THAT MEANS: hes very experienced at dating because he knows that I dont want to hear that Im beautiful from somebody I dont know very well and hes so confident he can make fun of it. This technique is quite advanced and should be exercised with caution. Make sure you understand how to deliver the pick up line. Use it when you believe your flirting experience has improved.
You: Hey, do you know when the semester finishes? Her: (her answer). You: Hey, you look pretty intelligent. I reckon we could start our own school and itd be way better than this one. Yeah. Not like all these boring schools you see everywhere. Our school would be the best school in the world! From here on the idea is to imagine the two of you working together in this situation. Try and think like a comedian. They take a basic idea and discuss it in as many crazy scenarios as possible. Ask her what shed like to see in the fantasy and come up with your own suggestions. You: Well make millions! Well double the fees to help fund our secret scam to live like filthy rich kings. And if anyone disobeys us youll take care of em, wont ya? And after the school well take over the world! The more your stories dont make sense the more emotionally intense theyll become. Find absurd situations both of you can playfully experience. These stories can sometimes go on for a long time. Youve got enough material to last for hours. Just take the scenario youve put yourself in and relate it to everything and everyone around you. YOU: Yeah, see that guy over there? Hell become our university money slave; he can walk up to all the students and demand their cash for me. Dont worry youll get some too.
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Depending on where you meet the woman the playfully absurd role-playing story could be: Starting a rock band and shes your manager. Starting a nightclub and shes your bouncer. Starting a coffee shop and she can grind the beans. Starting your own country and she can make the flag. Making your own feature film movie and she can be your actress. Always base the stories on power, wealth and fame. You can mention how rich youll become; wholl do the dirty work for you and what youll do once youre both wealthy and/or famous. Be creative and find a scenario you know a lot about or feel comfortable with, but make sure you can make the idea fun and exciting. Theres no use getting excited about starting your own flea market or retirement village.
If you really find it hard to start conversations with women spontaneously with these techniques, try coming up with ideas before hand, writing them down and memorizing the basic idea but not the exact lines. Rehearsed scripts make you sound fake and unnatural no matter how much work you put into it. Learn the general flow of your material until you build the confidence to do this effortlessly.
Conclusion
It doesnt matter what you say or do with women as long as it evokes emotion. All of these flirting techniques are simply training wheels until you feel comfortable talking about anything with women. If youre completely terrified talking to women memorize some easy techniques like poking your tongue out at women and see what happens. Once you see women responding positively towards you, youll be instantly motivated to learn more flirtatious techniques.
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Posture
Bad Posture
Good Posture
Posture is extremely important when you flirt with women. Notice the man with the bad posture is leaning forward and carrying his weight on his back rather than positioning the centre of gravity in his hips? This unacceptable posture forces your head to look at the ground. To continue looking forward with this posture the man bends his neck back. Standing like this, his shoulders roll forward and give him a weak submissive appearance. Other the other hand, the man with good posture has a straight neck, head facing forwards and shoulders right back, which puffs out his chest and makes him appear bigger and stronger. Women can tell whether youll be interesting or not just by observing your posture as you approach them. Although posture is important, eyes come in number 1 for successful body language and flirting.
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Eye Contact
Eyes tell a tremendous amount of information about a person. Notice how the first man is looking away as hes talking to the woman, while the second man is looking right into her eyes. The man with bad eye contact also has his head tilted down submissively. Engaging eyes show women youre confidant, interested and most importantly, that youre listening to her. Eyes direct how the rest of your body positions itself. If you look at the ground because youre shy your head will naturally point towards the ground too. When your head faces downwards your shoulders tend to roll forward creating terrible posture. Thats why simply looking at the ground can repel women instantly. HE JUST: looked at the ground instead of focusing on me. THAT MEANS: hes very shy, has low self-esteem, cant flirt and is boring. I know this because his posture says he doesnt love or value his own life very much and I dont want to be with a man like that whos going to bring me down. These interpretations can seem very harsh but its just reality. If you cant project confidence when you flirt with a woman youre not what shes looking for.
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Head Positioning
Less Confident
More Confident
While eye contact and posture are the two most important factors necessary to effectively flirt with women, the positioning of your head can add the finishing touches to a mans confidence. Can you see the subtle difference between these two men? Even though the first man does have straight posture his head is falling forwards because the woman hes talking to is shorter than the man. Thus to meet her eyes he needs look down. A subtle improvement would be to keep the neck straight and position the chin slightly up but still make eye contact with the woman while flirting. Women love it when youre very sure of yourself. While this technique may project arrogance it doesnt come across that way. Women enjoy men who are arrogant but not offensive. Notice how popular and rich people tend to project an aura of arrogance? People respect these people because they respect themselves. Use this universal body language to subconsciously communicate success and selfrespect. Soon others will believe you are. Ultimately you are what you believe.
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To effectively flirt with women during first encounters relaxed body language is necessary. Interestingly, all human emotions are contagious. Men who approach women and shuffle their feet, fiddle with their hands or constantly look around project nervousness. By communicating fear you not only make these women uncomfortable but also repel them. So instead of flirting with women to attract them, men focus too much on what to say which inflames this nervousness. Can you see how these men show fear by using their hands too much? Sometimes less is more. The less you move your body the more attractive and confident you appear. If you can keep conversations going, maintain good posture, smile and hold eye contact without fidgeting youll do very well as long as shes single. Men often seem to get rejected by women before theyve even opened their mouths. Outwardly expressing too much nervous body language makes women realize youre not a mentally strong, confident, suitable partner. If you stutter,
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submissively break eye contact, sway or shuffle your feet you communicate an unattractive image. After some time men unconsciously develop habits they always communicate every time theyre nervous. Some examples are: Scratching their back, neck, hands or face. Shuffling their feet Swaying left to right Talking in an unnatural or rehearsed tone of voice Speaking monotone Fidgeting with accessories such as, phones, watches, bracelets or necklaces Looking around A lot of nervous communication comes from using your hands at unnecessary moments. Obviously if youre telling a story or doing playful gestures then hand movements become acceptable. Its only when hands movements dont accompany the verbal communication that theyre interpreted as nervousness.
You will need to project that you dont need her and take things more casually in the presence of women even if you arent dating any women yet. Consciously putting this information into practice and believing you are successful with women before you actually flirt and date any women is important. A successful man who remains unnamed once put it this way:
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How would you act if you had 200 million dollars in your bank account, 20 beautiful women chasing you all day long and an amazing body that people would kill for? Walk through the world with this attitude and see how you come across. The common advice preached in sales situations is that a man must always project a sense of successfulness even if hes not. Follow this principle and make it work for your dating life. Notice how these two men sit and stand while they talk to women and adopt their communication. Do things like: Stand tall with great posture Keep your feet firmly in one place Talk slowly in a deep resonating voice Always look at her to show youre listening.
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Initial Resistance
When you start putting your new knowledge into practice youll make mistakes everyone does. Resistance during the initial meeting is normal. When you start to use this information, by understanding the excuses women might give, you can be prepared with your own responses and possibly save hundreds of hours. There are only two reasons why a woman would avoid giving out her number:
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1. Shes in a relationship. 2. She isnt attracted to you. Understanding the reasons, lets look at the four major excuses women use. Excuse #1 Why dont you give me your number? Dont buy into this common trap. Women almost never call men first because, as discussed before, men are supposed to be the leaders. They should control every step of the dating process. Continue to ask for her number. If she doesnt want to give it to you, dont give her your number, because youll just be wasting your time. A woman says, Why dont you give me your number? To the misguided man this means, Shes interested and will call me But it actually means, I dont feel a connection to you and want to get out of this situation as quickly and easily as possible. Excuse #2 Im really busy with work/school/commitments at the moment. This can be her mind really trying to stay away from men she doesnt know well. The best way to deal with this is setting up a date on the spot. Say something along the lines of: Thats OK I understand, Im really busy myself, but everyones got 20 minutes for coffee no matter how busy they are, havent they? Excuse #3 I have a boyfriend. This excuse can mean two things. She actually has a boyfriend and is happy with her relationship, or she doesnt have a boyfriend but wants you to leave her alone. This is usually a loselose situation, because if you persist she reinforces her choice by telling herself you have no respect for a woman already in a relationship. Take the excuse I have a boyfriend as a sign to thank her, have a laugh and move on, no hard feelings. Excuse #4 Why dont we swap numbers? Why would a woman want your number in return? Most likely so she can see whos calling and avoid answering the phone if she doesnt find the caller interesting. Lets say you successfully get the womans number, now its OK to give her your number in return, right? No! You dont want a woman identifying your number. Although this may seem strange, the fact is a woman doesnt need your number. If you call her three times while she was working shell see: three missed calls from John. Doesnt look too good if you want to appear as an independent, strong and masculine male. Instead it makes you seem clingy and desperate. Women would rather wait for you to call again. So remember not to offer her your number at all. If she asks for it, just say she doesnt need it, or say, Na, just
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give me yours. Its that simple. If you dont want to give her your number and I recommend you dont just let her know. Women dont really want to lie. But after years of experience with boys they werent attracted to, theyve engineered an under-the-radar method to avoid socially awkward situations theyd rather not face. While some of these dating tactics seem tricky and complicated, just understand that what women say isnt always what they mean. Identifying the common responses and resistances lets you know whether you should invest your time further or whether she isnt interested at all but is just being nice and avoiding awkward confrontation
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Flirting with women on the phone only allows 45% of the flirting power necessary to attract women effectively. For this reason phones should only be used for setting dates with women. Talking on the phone doesnt allow the intimate connection we get with people face-to-face. If you talk on the phone with a woman too long you increase her chances of losing interest. In addition, text messaging and emails only use 7% of your potential flirting abilities. In this circumstance you need to be very advanced in your flirting abilities to make email and text messages work for you.
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but the personal contact and efficiency of a call. You never know when, if ever, a woman will check her e-mail. It could be 1 day or it could be 10 days after you send the message. But you can guarantee a text message reaches its destination almost instantly and will be read very soon. Now you may be thinking: But text messaging is crap because it takes forever to set up a date, sending messages back and forth. This is exactly why youre not sending text messages back and forth. Instead, this simple strategy allows you to incorporate text messaging with calling; the result being shell answer her phone almost 100% of the time. The problem with calling is getting messages like this phone is currently switched off or leave a message and Ill get back to you, which she wont reply to. So heres the 4 steps you can take to always make her call back. Step 1 Have A Plan Before you do anything you must already have a plan for your evening. You need to know: When youre available Where youll be going on the date What time youre willing to meet up/pick her up
You dont want to sit there thinking of a place to spend time together while shes waiting to do other things, these are decisions you need to make before the text message. Women love a man that makes decisions and has a plan. Step 2 Sending The Message Instead of calling, after getting her cell number simply send her a simple text. This text doesnt need to say anything about catching up or even hint at any obvious intention you have to see her again. It simply says, Who you are How you met Casually asking how things are going.
It doesnt have to be long and it doesnt need to be deep. There are four parts to writing the simple message.
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Hey shorty, Its Tim, from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. Hows things? What sort of trouble are you getting into lately? Hey shorty, Hey shorty shows a high level of confidence, communicating that youre so comfortable around a woman you just met that you can even call her names to communicate a sign of disinterest and proving your masculine independence. Things like fatty or tubby wont get you a positive response so stick to something harmless and fun like the example illustrated above. Its Tim, from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. Its important to define who you are in the first message. If she doesnt recognize you then she probably wont reply. If she does reply it will be a confused who is this? message, not the best way to start out. Of course make sure youve exchanged names when you talked to her in person.
Also include the exact place you met her. For example saying in the shopping mall is too vague, she may have given her number out to 2 or even more guys in that one place. It happens. Also include what day you met her. So be specific. Its Tim from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. Failure to be specific means sending more text messages until she finally understands youre not a stalker. In any case, its likely the woman wont remember you very well at all, unless you left a stunning impression on her. So follow the guidelines above to make sure she knows who you are after just one message. Hows things? General comments usually exchanged by friends, implying you two already have a connection. What sort of trouble are you getting into lately? This flirting technique vaguely implies she is a naughty girl. It implies sexual activity in a fun and harmless way. Because the last sentence of a text is the most
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remembered part of a message, it becomes crucial to end the text message with a question. Doing so reinforces her need to reply to your message. Everything included in the text message above is a device to increase the response of her sending a message back. This system will get a response 99% of the time, assuming you flirted correctly during the first encounter and she doesnt have a boyfriend. It combines the advantages of both calling and sending e-mails to increase your chances of success. So how long should you wait after getting her number before you send the message? The day after is the best time to text her. If you send a message the same day you may freak her out by your eagerness. Sending a text message a week later is too late because by then shes probably long forgotten you. 1 or 2 days after getting her number is the best time frame with which to work. Step 3 Wait For Reply This is the easy part. Waiting for the woman to reply to your message. I say easy because you dont need to do anything but this step could drive a lot of men insane. Not hearing from a woman for several hours would be hard for some men. They may start to make judgments on what she thinks. Why hasnt she replied yet? Theyll start to pollute their minds with all sorts of ideas like: She doesnt like me She probably deleted my text She thought I was boring So how do you know what she thinks before shes messaged you back? The answer is to not care. If you get a reply great! If not, no big deal. Dont waste your time thinking about what she thinks. If you dont get a reply you can send another message 2 days later with the following text. Hey (name), Im going down to (date idea) soon u should come along. Be completely calm, understanding and not annoyed that she didnt text you back from the first message and just wait for a reply patiently. Dont get upset or negatively emotional and never try to make women feel guilty, youll just come across weak and insecure. If she still doesnt reply you have two choices. 1. Call Her There still could be legitimate reasons why she didnt respond. 2. Move On
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There are plenty of women out there, if one isnt interested dont get upset just understand she wasnt right for you or you need to continue working on your flirting skills to improve your chances of success. She might have had a boyfriend or it could have been a complicated time in her life. Women still give out numbers when they have boyfriends but dont tell men until they contact them, strange isnt it? Step 4 Call Her Upon Reply Now heres where the system works wonders. As soon as you get a reply from the first message call her straight away, dont wait. The minute you get a reply to your phone you can be certain she has her phone on, in her hand and is very likely to answer. Of course she could be in a meeting or at the cinema when she replied, but in most cases if she just messaged you she is available to talk. From here you can talk for a few minutes simply to organize a catch up.
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How successfully you flirt when you met her governs how likely she is to text you back and go out on a date. Now if she replies great! If not, who cares? She wasnt that interested in you anyway and you just saved a lot of time. If she were interested she would have responded. The text method works wonders for a few reasons. Quick and easy 99% chance of women answering the phone. Great training wheels for shy inexperienced men Saves you time and money on women that werent very interested. Because its so easy to ignore a message you can guarantee that a woman who replies to your message is definitely interested in a date.
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John: Sarah:
Although this is a very simple conversation, it works. There is no need to talk for longer than a few minutes. Keeping the phone conversation short shows you have a life and other things to do. Men who linger on the phone until the woman gets bored project that they have nothing better to do than talk all day. These women might be doing important things and now find you annoying because youve kept them from their activities. Even if the flirting during the first encounter went really well and the woman was attracted to you, by lingering on the phone without flirting you show that you faked the first encounter by communicating that it wasnt the real you. Of course most conversations wont be this short but keep them as close to this guideline as possible. If she starts asking you about your day you can comment but dont get into details because before you know it youve just used all your Mr. Interesting on the phone rather than the actual date. If you want to build some emotion on the phone with flirting thats fine. If you decide to talk a little longer make sure you end the conversation at the peak of your emotionally intense flirting and never when you run out of things to say and it dies down. HE JUST: called, invited me on a date and left. THAT MEANS: hes confident, independent, directed and has a life. Hes got other things to do than just talk to me and even though I wanted him to talk to me longer I respect him more and feel even more attracted to him now.
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Shopping
During a shopping session youve got many conversation topics at your disposal. Starting conversations should be easy with all the shops, items and people around. Shopping is great because it shows youre not trying to impress. Youre both constantly moving which makes the experience much more energetic and lively, a great way for her to remember the date. Clothing Store Find the most horrible piece of clothing and place it in front of her while looking in the mirror and tell her it makes her look cool. Shell say its horrible and tell you to get it away from her but just continue to emphasis why you think it looks cool. Na look it matches your hair/eyes so well The idea is to be sarcastic. You need to find something that looks terrible otherwise shell think youre strange. If youre not sure whats unstylish ask her,So whats the dorkiest girls item in this place? Then grab the outfit she points to and say why it suits her so well. Clothing Store -Give her a weird look when she picks a piece of clothing off the rack that she obviously likes. Opposite to the previous, this works well when she points out something she likes. Remember, by always having the opposite reaction to what she likes builds tension and intensifies emotion. This is powerful flirting.
Coffee
Unlike shopping, coffee doesnt have much movement and energy. A date at a cafe needs flirting that is playful and confident. But because you cant move around as much the power of your verbal flirting becomes more important. Play footsies under the table. Although its a clich, it works. While youre talking or having a moment of silence gently step on her foot. Once she looks at you glance away pretending you didnt do it or look at her like a foot war is about to break out. Your facial expressions need to let her know youre not being serious. Alternatively you can point to somebody at another table implying he stepped on her foot. Choose the option with which youre most comfortable. Pretend to read her future in her palm
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Ask for her hand and tell her something silly about her future. Say, Do you want to know your future? If she agrees grab her hand and in a disappointing voice tell her that shell be working at McDonalds for the rest of her life. Alternatively, you can just ask for her hand and just say, Oh no! and give her hand back. After her curiosity has been stirred by saying things like, I dont think I can be seen with you anymore then reveal her future.
Mini Golf
Mini golf is a great active date that youll both enjoy. Make sure shes the fun type; unfortunately some girls believe theyre too cool for activities such as mini golf. If she is too cool to play, its a good indicator that shes not adventurous and fun. The only rule is to take the game very light-heartedly and maintain emotion, drama and tension throughout the entire date. Make a wager that the winner is crowned the coolest person in the world. Although this sounds silly its very flirtatious and fun, especially if youre a highly competitive person. Making a meaningless wager such as this makes the mini golf game much more exciting, tense and an excuse for excessive flirtation. Cheat any way possible to make sure you win. Because youre not taking the mini golf seriously you can do sneaky things to make sure you win. If you do poorly you can say, Im just giving you a head start. If you do poorly putting near a hole take several shots in a row and say it was only one shot. Shell say youre cheating and you can simply tell her youre making new rules to the game. The new rules state that only Chris can win! Hey, you gotta play by the rules Fiona. If you play a terrible shot playfully and sarcastically boast about how great your skills are. If she sees you take a bad shot say something like, No, no its alright, Im just warming up You put me off or Youre bad luck. The idea is to keep flirtatious sexual tension and to make sure youre arrogance comes across as being playful. Pretend to be a serious golfer. Put on your most serious face, lick your finger and check the direction of the wind and take your shot like the pros do on TV. This works even better if youre indoors. Obviously jump back out of your serious face when you finish. This communicates you dont take things too seriously and that golf isnt the
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most interesting sport, especially for women, but youre making it as fun as possible.
Movies
While the movies can be a great place to take women on dates, its not recommended for the first date. Its hard to spend time together with someone when you cant talk in the cinema. Regardless of whether you go on your first date or a later date make sure its a film thats been screening for some time so there wont be that many people in the cinema. Ask her if she thinks the lead male role is hot. Then ask her whos the hottest actor. When she tells you her answer, tell her she has a crush on him. Its just harmless fun to tease women about a crush they have. It doesnt even matter if she really likes the actor or not. Throw popcorn at her. Remember when you were a child? Did you ever harmlessly throw things at your brothers or sisters? Maybe it was your best friend? Just like a woman communicates that they like a man by slapping him on the arm, youre communicating your interest by throwing popcorn at her. The best thing is you cant accidentally hurt anyone by throwing popcorn because its light as a feather. You may even break out into a popcorn fight. Tell her she needs to keep her distance; shes being suggestive The best way to create sexual tension is to mention it. Let the woman know shes being too suggestive by sitting next to you in the cinema. You can pretend to define an invisible wall between the two seats to make it perfectly clear that you dont want her temptations to get the better of her. Alternatively, move to the next seat leaving a gap between the two of you and then wave to her implying youre now at a safe distance. You might get a soft hit or disappointed look but dont give in. After youve made youre point you can move back to your seat. This technique shows youre not eager and are accusing the woman of being the aggressive male. Its fun, flirty and shell love it, whether she admits it or not. Notice how most of these flirting techniques are based on conflict, emotion and sexual tension? Create playful arguments during your dates.
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Good Topics
The best way to make women feel comfortable and close is getting them to share experiences and information about themselves. Ask about their passions, dreamlife and what they wanted to be when were a little girl. Talk about current TV shows, Hollywood gossip and anything in the entertainment industry. Dont forget to throw in some playful behavior during the dates to keep the interaction interesting. Remember: If you get caught up in the facts youll certainly become boring. Youre in complete control over what you talk about so make it interesting. If you do talk about factual stuff spice it up with things like, Youre such a dork Im watching you missy or You know I have eyes in the back of my head. I can see everything.
Deadly Topics
Politics, propaganda, religion and negative experiences such as deaths, expartners or the state of the world are all topics from which to stay away. People associate the time theyve had with someone to the feelings they experienced during their time together. If youve spoken excessively about topics that have no hope of bringing up humor, youre in trouble. If you find yourself moving into one of these directions just say, Lets talk about (insert new topic), then quickly interject using one of the topics above to save yourself from a depressing date. Dont say, Can we please change the subject, just go ahead and talk about something more fun. Youre the leader so make sure you guide the conversation in a positive direction.
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Absolutely boring! Women are emotional creatures and they love the feeling a collection of emotions gives them. You may have heard of the term flirting before and never really understood what it was or never really thought it was necessary in attracting women. Well, Im here to tell you that flirting is an important part of communicating with women. When women hit you with standard questions like these its a good idea to have cheeky answers ready to throw back at them. Playful and absurd remarks work the best. Here are some examples of better responses.
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What is your name? How old are you? So where do you work? How long? (looking at crotch) to know that.
Prince Charming. Too old for you. Im a lion tamer. No, really, I am! I dont think youre entitled
If you dont talk in a playful tone of voice youll come across as serious, arrogant or just weird. On the other hand, if you answer her questions playfully with logical answers youll seem childish and feminine. So make sure your comments are both playful and absurd. Of course you cant keep this charade up forever but by answering question in a funny way you show her that you have a fun personality and dont take the date too seriously.
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Show her youre a man by taking charge and kissing her. Women actually find these leadership acts kissing and making decisions very attractive. Use them wherever possible.
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with you. Whos doing the chasing now? Ultimately, this throws you back in the category where most frustrated men stay all their lives. Although you want to become a strong, independent man, having your own life, this is not to say you should abuse the rights of women. The idea is not dating hundreds of women and saying that youre exclusive with every one of them. Thats not what were teaching you. Rather, date multiple women until you find a great girl you want to get into a relationship with. Just know that it could be 50 girls before you find a great girl. For every man itll be different, depending on what he likes.
5. Be a gentleman
Chivalry is still an important aspect of dating which you should acknowledge. These rules have been around for decades and still apply in todays world. Failure to be chivalrous can result in a woman no longer seeing you. Chivalry is most crucial during the first date where women form their initial impressions of you. Most men dont understand that these tasks are simply a necessity. Just because youre being nice it doesnt entitle you to sleep with a woman. Learn to do these things simply as kind gestures. The order of importance is: Pay for dates. Open building and car doors. Pull out her chair. Walk on the outside of the curb. Of course you dont have to do all of them all the time. But be aware that failure to pay for a date could mean you never get a second date. This is serious: some women take these rules very seriously. It doesnt mean you must go out of your way to buy things only if you end up getting food. Shopping is a great activity because the most youll pay for is milkshakes. Always assume youll pay, but if the woman insists on paying her share, let her pay after offering to pay twice. Why cause an argument? It works best when these gentlemanly actions look normal and youre doing them sincerely and naturally. If you look uncomfortable youll make the woman uncomfortable.
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6. Look sharp
Before you even consider getting together with a woman you must be clean. This is not an option, its a requirement. Women put hours and hundreds of dollars into looking their best when going into public. To leave the best possible impression you need to have everything working in your favor, and it doesnt take much effort to shower. Clothes Dedicate an entire day at your local mall to get your personal appearance up to scratch. If you already have a stunning wardrobe, thats great! On the other hand, if youre the type of guy who wouldnt know style if he were wearing it, then get someone to help you out. This is the perfect opportunity to ask female strangers their opinion on something you sincerely need to know. Then if the conversation seems to go well you might as well ask for her number. 39 per cent of women find a mans small and sexy butt to be his most attractive body part. So spend most of your energy finding a great pair of jeans thatll really make your butt look stunning. Cologne Find great cologne that women really enjoy. If you pick your fragrance well women will constantly compliment you on it. Even the 30ml bottles last a long time. This doesnt mean great cologne can replace showers. Cologne only smells great on a clean body, remember that. Always test cologne on your skin before you buy it. Some fragrances smell great on the sample card but horrible with your skin type. Shoes (most important for first impressions) Have you ever noticed some girls have more pairs of shoes than they do wardrobe space? Girls put great importance on their choice of shoes. Work out your style and then find shoes that accompany that style, or find a style that accompanies your existing pair of shoes. If you want to get noticed this is a surefire way. Personal Hygiene I hope this goes without saying always shower, have a clean fresh haircut, trim your nails, look after your teeth, and always, and I mean always, have fresh breath. I hope you see the importance of these things when trying to date women. It would be very difficult to get a call back from a woman that smelt your beer-and-pizza breath, wouldnt it? Work these things to your advantage. These little things can make all the difference in the long run. Have some great outfits and be proud when wearing them.
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Facial Hair If your genetics allow you to grow facial hair, experiment with growing short stubble versus a clean-shaven look. Lots of women find stubble very attractive on a man. Its attractive because its unique to men, and is thus considered a physical element of masculine energy. Strangely enough, many women are attracted to men that are similar to their fathers. So if you find out her father has a beard, try growing a goatee.
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Women love compliments. If you ask them how they want to be treated theyll often mention they enjoy compliments. They do. Everyone likes to be complimented but to attract a woman this is not recommended. Does this mean you can never give women compliments? No. Instead of complimenting her on her appearance, compliment her on her personality or great behavior. An example would be, You know what I like about you You have such a passion and curiosity for life. Youre so open to hearing other peoples opinions. You have such a great sense of pride. You really respect peoples time. Women love men who notice specifics. The more detailed the compliment the greater her appreciation. Always connect the compliment with an event to prove youre not just rambling some lines off the top of your head. Theres nothing women hate more than a liar. Linked to an experience, youd say something like: You know what I like about you Youre so open-minded about other peoples opinions. Like yesterday when we spoke to John you were so patient and really gave him the time he deserved.
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focus on. Unless you can maintain a balance between your dating life and the other aspects of your life, youll never keep the woman you truly want. Eventually shell notice the strange, insecure and extreme attachment youve grown towards her, ultimately making you seem too feminine, and shell leave you. There are many strategies and guidelines you can follow to ensure you come across as cool, easy-going and masculine while dating women.
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While these are only guidelines and examples they show the progression of trust in a relationship and the steps necessary for comfortable physical intimacy.
Flirtatious Mood
The flirtatious mood is the same flirting used during dates. This involves being playful, fun, teasing and confident. Here are some examples of fun things you can do in a secluded setting. Bed Push While the two of you are talking on your bed/couch subtly roll over while performing a yawn or stretch to move her closer to the edge. Once she realizes whats going on shell try to move her way back on. Whether you decide to slowly push her completely onto the floor is your choice. Depending on the size of your bed/couch and whether this action can be done harmlessly or not is up to you. Bed Hog When she tries to get back on the bed/couch or even if shes already lying with you roll over taking up most of the space. As she realizes youre taking over shell try and win her share back. If she asks for you to roll back onto your side you can say, whats in it for me? or Na, what are you talking about? Im not taking up any room at all. Be smiley and sarcastic when you say this comment, creating a Im hard-to-get vibe. Soft Tickle If shes comfortable lying next to you and being close you should be able to tickle her gently to get a positive reaction. Tickling her hips, waist, feet or armpits work best. If shes not ticklish or you dont have the right touch to make her giggle say something like, Im not trying to tickle you, really Im not. This saves you from looking like youve failed at tickling. Pillow Fight To increase the excitement, grab your pillow and start whacking her softly with it. If she joins in and gets more aggressive turn up the pace but dont use all your strength. If youre looking for a great way to transition into a pillow fight throw your pillow at her when shes across the room or on the bed with you. If she doesnt throw it back tell her to throw it back. If she still doesnt throw it get off the bed, grab the pillow off her and throw it at her again. Eventually shell join in.
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Suggestive Mood
While hogging the bed, tickling and having pillow fights is fun it wont easily transition into intimacy unless you know what youre doing. The suggestive mood is slow, sexy and romantic. This type of flirting shows your intentions for women without groping or using other lame forms of horniness. The Suggestive Mood is broken down into the non-verbal, verbal and actions
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whole face and then slowly drop your mouth into its neutral position. Your eyes sparkle and glow when you do this. It goes without saying you want to give women your complete attention during this stage of the courting process. There is no need to tease and play around anymore. The woman likes you and wants to be with you.
Do you understand the difference? You need to act cool in the intimate situations.
Personal Space
If the woman isnt comfortable with you entering her personal space at this stage you havent initiated enough physical contact during your previous encounters. In secluded settings its much more appropriate to sit closer, have your bodies touching and have your faces close together. By kissing or hugging you are entering personal space. Make sure you realize its now appropriate for you to make the moves that seemed unacceptable before.
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matter. Implying sexual interest can be expressed simply by your tone of voice. At this point the playfulness should stop; heres why. HE JUST: stole my hat again and is teasing me, again! THAT MEANS: he probably doesnt like me and is playing with my emotions. He already won me over with his charm, confidence, social ability and playfulness and he knows Im his, why doesnt he want me? Can you see how the dynamics change in secluded settings? While this stuff works to attract women, eventually women come to a point where theyre so attracted to you that they just want to kiss and be intimate. While its okay to be playful in secluded settings the suggestive mood needs to start at some point for intimacy to begin. When a couple move into an intimate setting the conversation can take a turn towards plain boring words but still be extremely sexy and seductive. Look at the following dialogue closely.
Oranges Dialogue
Man: Hey whats that? Woman: An orange. Man: Oh, do you like oranges? Woman: Yeah. Man: Yeah you love them, dont you? I can see it in your eyes. Is it because they taste so sweet? Or do you prefer their shape? After reading this dialogue exchange you might think: What the heck? Theyre just talking about oranges? As explained before the words almost become obsolete and a seductive tone of voice becomes the driving force. The use of metaphors can take the place of real words in this situation. When the man says, Yeah you really love them, this is just playful courting that keeps the conversation going. Heres another example.
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Well, I can write things in blue, black, red and even green. That doesnt sound so magic to me. Yeah, well to your naked eye this may seem so. You see there isnt another like this one anywhere. You could search your entire life and never find another just like this. Is that so? Yep, before you know it youll miss out forever. How would that feel? Well Im not sure. Well thats because you havent looked hard enough. Let me show you its magic.
If you dont see how using plain language like this could work then read through this dialogue again visualizing the man as a confident person who speaks slowly, deeply and deliberately. Unfortunately most men find it difficult to believe this sort of behavior is very attractive when its executed in the appropriate environment. A dialogue exchange such as this would usually take place in a bedroom, empty park, beach or on a couch. Its very difficult to understand this sort of communication unless youve seen it done extensively. If you want some great examples to get your head around this sort of flirting hire some James Bond films and watch how Bond uses suggestive flirting to attract women. Bottom line, secluded flirting is suggesting sexual interest. While the dialogue seems like meaningless drivel the magic pen could also be interpreted as a metaphor for the man himself. With lines such as, You see there isnt another like this one anywhere. You could search your entire life and never find another just like this Yep, before you know it youll miss out forever Well thats because you havent looked hard enough. Let me show you its magic. All these lines could be interpreted as the pens magic or the mans magic? What exactly is his magic? Well, whatever the woman interprets it to be.
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Kiss her neck and shoulders gently Whisper in her ear softly
Once youve done these things and the woman is ready for hot and heavy intimacy you must initiate this and take charge. Shell feel 1000 times more turned on if you take the lead.
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Films can portray false realities that would never happen in real life but there are some movies where men are doing exactly the right things to attract women. Heres just a sample of the films you can check out to see men who know how to flirt with women. The James Bond Series Don Juan DeMarco Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom Pierce Bronson, Sean Connery Johnny Depp Harrison Ford
Big Personalities
Often times, telling men to just be normal isnt enough. To the average shy man the term normal can mean staying home and playing videogames. To be normal or to be yourself isnt the right advice. We want men to develop big personalities. Women are attracted to spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, funny and interesting men. While its virtually impossible to list certain qualities and expect men to act accordingly it is possible to provide some places to help develop these qualities naturally. Drama Groups Drama students and actors alike are an interesting bunch. They possess most of the qualities above including confidence. Joining a drama group that gets together regularly does wonders for a mans confidence, if he can build up the courage to start. It may seem silly and strange because its not within your comfort zone but then again neither is talking to women. If you want more self-confidence sign up for a theatre group today and let the actors optimism and quick-wit brush off onto you. Really consider looking up drama classes, its the best investment youll ever make. Popular Hosts Television and radio hosts are paid for their big personalities. Next time you listen to live radio or live TV shows pay attention to the attitudes, expressions, tone of voice of the host rather than what they actually say. The reason for listening and watching live broadcasts is because these people need to think on the spot; they naturally have these high social skills.
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Learning Process
If youre completely terrified talking to women memorize some easy techniques like poking your tongue out at women and see what happens. Once you see women responding positively towards you the motivation to grow and to learn more flirtatious techniques will come naturally. Start by learning just one technique from this book and start using it during your conversations with women. Most men because they fear failure try to know everything before they try anything. This is the wrong approach. While a lot of people claim to know everything they dont seem to put anything into practice. Actions speak louder than words. To really benefit from the overwhelming amount of information provided you must pick just one technique to use when you flirt with women. Why only one technique? While you may know everything now, when you start conversations with women everything will fly out the window. Having just one technique allows you to assess the womans reaction. Use the technique, assess how the woman reacts and start to use a second technique. Like building blocks, use one technique to progress to more complex techniques. You cant expect to know everything before you try anything! What if something doesnt work? If you keep trying one technique and your results are less than favorable, then you need to move back and reassess why things arent working. There are three reasons the technique wont work. First Common Mistake Poor Body Language Remember if you cant make women feel comfortable first, nothing else will work. In Chapter 5 read the section called, First Encounter Flirting: Non-Verbal and look at the drawings to see what might be wrong with your posture, eye contact or facial gestures. Dont project nervousness or else women will be nervous too! Of course this skill takes practice so dont expect to walk up to women and have total confidence the first time. Second Common Mistake Not Being Social, Fun and Interesting If you believe your body language is great go back and read Playful Flirting in Chapter 3 and realize most men dont speak emotionally when talking to a woman they really like. Remember for women to feel attracted you need to add some conflict and tension first.
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Third Common Mistake Sucking Up Too Much If youre doing everything above correctly then maybe youre sucking up to women too much. Women hate this behavior and dont find it attractive at all. Go back and read Human Desire and Sucking Up vs. Playing Hard-ToGet in Chapter 5. As you grow from your experience itll become easier and natural to flirt with women wherever you go. Learn from your mistakes so you can move forward quickly without much frustration.
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Youve arrived at the last page and that says a lot about you. Youre ready for success and are willing to do whats necessary to achieve your goals. Congratulations and good luck on your journey to a successful and happy dating life! I hope you have enjoyed your journey through this book. If you have any questions or success stories feel free to send your comments to: Chris@FlirtingFormula.com
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