“Before & After” names from The StyleInvitational
(Results of Week 287 of The Washington Post’s humor/wordplay contest, TheStyle Invitational, of October 4, 1998.)A new version of this contest, Week 963, appears in the March 18, 2012,Washington Post Sunday Style section. See it online beginning March 16 athttp://wapo.st/wk963. Results will appear beginning April 13, 2012, athttp://wapo.st/inv967.© The Washington Post. If reprinting any of these entries, please credit ThePost, the writers of the entries, and The Style Invitational, and online pleaselink to its website, washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.
Report from Week 287,
in which you were asked to replicate the"Before and After" game from “Wheel of Fortune,” beginning with a name andadding to it a word or expression that creates a bridge of words.Sixth Runner-Up: Lloyd Bridges of Madison County -- A rootless photojournalistand a bored housewife have an underwater knife fight. (Ralph Scott,Washington)Fifth Runner-Up: Rembrandt Van Rijn Tin Tin -- The night watchdog. (MegSullivan, Potomac)Fourth Runner-Up: Heimlichtenstein -- A small country firmly lodged betweenAustria and Switzerland. (Sandra Hull, Arlington) Third Runner-Up: Darryl F. Zanuck nyuk nyuk -- A slapstick filmmaker. (SueLin Chong, Washington)Second Runner-Up: Roseanne Boleyn -- Queen who kept talking after beingbeheaded. (David Genser, Arlington)First Runner-Up: Anais Nintendo Gameboy -- The pocket toy you really don'twant to give your kids. (Greg and Kristine Griswold, Falls Church)And the winner of the snake wine:
Thomas Jefferson Clinton -- President who penned the famous introductorylines:"We hold these half-truths to be legally accurate ... " (Douglas Riley, Reston)
Honorable Mentions:
T.S. Eliot Ness -- Poet who wrote "The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover." (RalphScott, Washington)Cole Porter Potty -- Wrote many moving lyrics, including "Can-Can." (JenniferHart, Arlington) Jack Ruby Tuesday's -- Where one goes to eat hot lead. (Stephen Dudzik, SilverSpring)Alan Greenspandex -- An ugly way to contain inflation. (Jonathan Paul, GarrettPark)Marco Polo for Ralph Lauren -- Acquires goods cheaply in Asia, then sells themfor an astronomical profit. (Niels Hoven, Silver Spring)Boy George Gershwin -- Composer of “Rhapsody in Lavender.” (Tom Witte,Gaithersburg) Tom Daschle Hammett -- Author of “The Maltese Donkey.” (Stephen Dudzik,Silver Spring)Picabo Streetwalker -- A working girl delivering satisfaction in 1.32.656minutes. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)Attila the Hunchback of Notre Dame -- Nobody made fun of him. (Niels Hoven,Silver Spring)Bobby Fischer-Price -- Chess player who toys with his opponents. (JenniferHart, Arlington)Marilyn Monroe Doctrine -- Post-Clinton regulations requiring all futurepresidential bimbos to be at least 30 years old. (Philip Vitale, Arlington;Susanne Lazanov, Reston)Madonna Reed -- A 1950s TV housewife who could do all the housework andstill have dinner and an orgy ready when her hubby came home. (DavidGenser, Arlington)
Shoeless Joe Mama -- The man who threw the World Series because thepitcher was so fat, when someone told him to haul butt, he had to make twotrips. (Jessica Henig, Washington)Glenn Miller Lite -- Big Band Muzak. (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)Alfred Hitchcock and bull -- Film school midterm essays. (Jim Doyle, Trenton,N.J.)Aretha Franklin Roosevelt -- President who said all we have to fear isdisrespect. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)Mister Rogers and Hammerstein -- Short-lived duo who parted ways becauseHammerstein's lyrics were "too racy." (Joe Ponessa, Philadelphia)Boy George Will -- Singer of the hit song "Dogma Chameleon." (Tom Witte,Gaithersburg)Ayn Rand McNally -- A woman who thinks she's at the center of the universeand has a map to prove it. (Greg and Kristine Griswold, Falls Church)Ellery Queen Latifah -- Detective. Raps up cases quickly. (Ben Llewellyn, FallsChurch)Al Gore Vidal -- An author with writer's block. (Dorothy Franklin, Columbia) Janet Reno, Nev. -- A city not known for its gorgeous showgirls. (SusanneLazanov, Reston)Mike Tyson's Chicken -- And I'm not afraid to say it to his face! (John Q. Public,Anytown, U.S.A.)Rin Tin Tintin -- A Belgian shepherd. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)Cal Ripken Junior Mint -- A refreshing little candy that lasts forever. (RozLevine, McLean)Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi Kootchie Koo -- A politician who diverts attentionfrom economic crisis by kissing babies. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)CIACLU -- An organization that protects your civil liberties, but then has to killyou. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)Oscar Mayer Lansky -- Prime suspect in the disappearance of Salvatore "TheGlazed Ham" Fondolini. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)
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"Before & After" names from The Style Invitational
Results of Week 287 of The Style Invitational, the weekly humor/wordplay contest of The Washington Post.
The contest was to combine two people's names so that they overlapped, and then describe the resulting "person." See the encore presentation of this contest, Week 963 (March 18, 2012), at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.)
The contest was to combine two people's names so that they overlapped, and then describe the resulting "person." See the encore presentation of this contest, Week 963 (March 18, 2012), at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.)
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