A basic overview of Japanese Etiquette

Amanda Burden (Yamanashi 2003-2006)

Language
Do you need to speak Japanese?
Yes:
to establish rapport to show initiative to become part of the team to demonstrate interest in the country to earn the respect of your peers for studying such a difficult language

Language ctnd
Not necessarily
Its all about HOW you say it Actions speak louder than words!

Basic useful phrases

Sumimasen Domo arigatou gozaimasu Dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu

Overview
Consider your role
Are you a guest? Are you a foreigner?

Consider the environment

Formal / business / casual

Situations
Meeting people Guest Dining

Maintaining relationships

Meeting people
Supervisor Kocho / Kyoto sensei

Other teachers People in the community

Greeting!
Hajimemashite
To shake or bow?
Either is fine: YOU initiate

~ desu.
Say your name slowly If you have a business card, get it ready

O sewa ni natte orimasu

This means Thank you for taking care of me! ONLY to people who are helping you

Dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu

This means: I I hope to start a good relationship

Business cards
Your supervisor
Get a meishi case

Your kocho / kyoto sensei

If you receive it at a table, leave it face up in front of you and after the meeting, store it

Other teachers
Probably wont give you business cards

People in the community

Treat them like kocho / kyoto sensei

Omiyage
To your supervisor
Tsumaranai mono desu ga

To kocho / kyoto sensei To other teachers To people in the community

Neighbors New friends

PRACTICE!
Amanda sensei, supervisor Amanda sensei, kocho / kyoto sensei Amanda sensei, home economics teacher Amanda san, elderly neighbor downstairs

As a guest
Be on time!!! When entering a home
O jama shimasu Im invading your space Take off your shoes in the genkan (foyer) If youre offered slippers, remove them and leave them outside if entering a tatami room

If you brought omiyage (which you did!), present it to the host / hostess
Spirits in the States, flowers in France, junk food in Japan (sweets, dessert or snacks!)

Giri / Ki o tsukau
Japanese hosts will go OUT OF THEIR WAY to be gracious, so dont push it with special requests.
Ex: What would you like to drink?
Japanese people will ask what your friend / host is drinking and have the same so as not to inconvenience them Dont worry about that, but dont make special requests to come off as a high maintenance guest The onus is on THEM to offer, and YOU to refuse Let the host know as far in advance If there are food items you cant eat, express deep regret and use the STOP gesture

For dietary restrictions

Spending the night

Youll be offered the bath scrub yourself down and do you washing with soap outside of the bathtub using the pail OR shower Dont drain the water, because itll be reused. If youre squeamish, you can skip the bath part.

Consider the circumstances under which you were invited*

As a guest ctnd
Sitting
Under kotatsu
If your legs are too long, beware kicking someone Cross legged is best

Not under kotatsu

Its rude to cross legs for ladies Seiza alternatives: legs to the side (ladies), cross legged (men)

Position
Least important person sits near the door NOT you

Dining
Chopsticks
Dont play with them, use them to gesture, spear anything, etc.

Family-style food
If you go to a restaurant, expect to share* Dont help yourself the host will serve you Dont hover your chopsticks over a dish

Pouring drinks
Pour drink for your neighbor If at an enkai, wait for the toast to imbibe! If you need more of a beverage, offer your neighbor some and theyll do the same

Rice
Rice is the staple of the meal; all items prepared are meant as complements Its slightly sticky to enable you to grab large clumps, so dont mix it up or add soy sauce You may pick up the chawan (bowl) to eat it

Itadakimasu
Wait after the host is seated to eat If you want more of something, you can comment on how delicious it was if youre shy to reach for more!

Dining ctnd
Table Manners
Eating Noodles
Slurping is fine, but its not sucking, its inhaling Not necessary for spaghetti, though some do it

The aftermath
You dont have to clean your plate Not always necessary to stack plates that are finished Keep your area clean

Paying
If youre invited by senpai, they *may* treat you
Refuse until they seem offended Thank them profusely! Gochisou samadeshita A little thank you note with a one-point English joke or something is a thoughtful gesture

Going Dutch is a bit different

The designated host usually divvies up the check Men usually pay more than women Vegetarians / non-drinkers, beware

If you need the waiter / waitress

Sumimasen Onegaishimasu

PRACTICE!
At a new friends home

At a restaurant

At an enkai

Miscellaneous tips: Donts

Be late or cancel
If you are late, its important to apologize; the greater the inconvenience, the more ways you should demonstrate your regret If you *must* cancel, deeply apologize and suggest an alternative date or solution You will not receive invitations again if you continue to dottu kyanseru

Attend to personal grooming in public

Blow your nose in private Mints are better than chewing gum you can bring a toothbrush around if you need Do your makeup in the bathroom

Some Western body language

Yawning is BAD, period (kara genki) Fidgeting / shaking legs comes off as childish

Be a rude communicator
Dont ask why! Communication in Japan is like bowling, not tennis Complaining or commenting about how something is weird in Japan may be taken personally

Be sarcastic

Miscellaneous tips: Donts ctnd

WARPS Automatically feel that you have to take it!
If *you* feel offended by
A personal question, just smile and say, Chotto hazukashii desu A comment, just make a tight smile and try to move the conversation away from it A gesture (sexual harassment), you dont have to tolerate it and can be firm in cutting off that behavior

Miscellaneous tips: Dos

Appearances count!
Keep your hair and clothing tidy and in good condition
Get anti-mildew stuff for your closet Get a fan to blow air through your closet for drying clothing

The amount of care you put into your appearance reflects how much care you will put into the relationship Keep your apartment clean and in good shape for your sanity and to increase your social options Open body language crossed arms vs. folded hands

Thank people graciously! Ask questions politely

People love to share information about themselves and their culture Who, what, when, where, how are fine

Be comfortable with silence Bring a stash of Western goodies just in case

Wrapped non-chocolate mints or hard candy lasts at least a month Pencils, pins, postcards, blank CDs to make mixes

Miscellaneous tips: Dos ctnd

Earnestness goes a long way
Actions speak louder than words SMILE

Resources
Google Japanese Etiquette Big eyes and ears

Books by Donald Richie (Temple University professor) Hokkaido Highway Blues: Hitchhiking Japan by Will Ferguson