Writing Tips: Using Sentence Length to Mirror Action

Long, short, and in-between: more is communicated in the length and rhythm of our sentences than most of us suspect. One of language's most fascinating tricks is its ability to mirror the action it depicts. For example, look at this piece of narrative: "The squirrel fidgeted, twitching its tail, as I inched closer with my hand outstretched. It bit me, and I yelled." Shortening the sentences and rearranging them slightly sharpens the action: "The squirrel fidgeted. I inched closer, my hand outstretched. Its tail twitched. Suddenly, it bit me. I yanked my hand back with a yell." Fidgeting, twitching, and biting are short, sharp actions. The sentence length mirrors them.

By contrast, some actions are better expressed in long, flowing sentences: "The water danced. It flowed over the rocks. The sun sparkled on it." The flow of water is a continuous thing, and the sentence can show that in its length and structure: "The water danced and flowed over the rocks, sparkling beneath the sun."

Until next time, happy writing, and may your pen be ever blessed! Labels: Writing, Writing Tips