Volume 3, Issue 3—no.
12—June 30, 2008
HOPSTAKEN INTERNATIONAL — AMSTERDAM — HO CHI MINH CITY
What is Wisdom???
“The moment a person realizes that reality has many faces, he/she takes the first step on the road to wisdom.”
A new face, a new
coat
Welcome to the first
‘dtp’ edition … a mo-
dest effort to improve
the image of this com-
munication vehicle for
alumni from DDU &
Wittenborg.
What is Wisdom??? is 3
years old this summer.
Will it ever grow up?
Find the answer to the
question? Survive ano-
ther year? They say,
‘Heaven knows …’ but I
doubt it.. I guess we’ll
have to figure it all out
as we go. Wisdom so
often is an afterthought,
when looking at the
result of a decision. Per-
haps that’s why we are
scared to decide, why we
need leaders—people
who decide. Hmmm ...
This edition was finali-
zed in Ho Chi Minh
City, and Deventer.
Loek & Peter
CONTENTS:
Major changes 2
China event Dam 3 since Peter decided to help me out
4
What do you know?
Morgan’s wedding 6 Jane sent me something she had
Amy’s wedding 8 application I had never used, or
Back in Vietnam 13
Randomity starts ... 17
The curtain fell, for certain ...
Spring 2006 it was expected that
DDU would end its activities very
soon. Then, in September, it
restarted for another year. With a
small number of students, and
limeted staff. Peter and I were the
only ones left of the old teachers
team. After the June 2007 gradua-
tion, DDU closed its doors in de
Hofstraat, Deventer. To re-emerge
under the name ‘MIC/DDU’ in
Amsterdam. Here it delivered both
bachelor and master courses to a
handful of students. Now, after
most of them graduated, DDU is DDU Amsterdam: final reception
no more—at least, in Holland. The
few that didn’t make the grade will know a bit about a person’s past to under-
be coached by Mr. Deelstra until stand his present condition. Not just his edu-
they do. DDU’s activities have cational past, find out about his cultivation.
now moved to Paris. How do you find out? Become really intere-
sted, and search for his milestone moments,
Old chapters, new chapters and what these mean to him. What made him
To most of our readers, DDU is a change, as a person? Did he lose old, find
relevant piece of our personal his- new purposes in life?
tory. Years not only of education, Through the years, I see new chapters in lives
starting, completing, and new ones starting.
but also, cultivation. I believe culti-
My true friends however, re-appear in each
vation outlives education: this you
chapter, as our friendship is not affected by
need to keep refreshed, but culti-
vation is rooted in our hearts and these changes. Only a few years ago I had no
souls. This is why you need to faith in Mankind. I now have. Thanks to …
yes you, and to you, and you too.
After all these years … a new face!!! (1)
Since I started this newsletter,and created a new catalogue of my services both in
Dutch and in English, and of course the next
to meet the deadline, I haven’t step was redesigning your What is Wisdom???
really looked at its design. Then The colors represent my favorite tulip colors;
you may have seen the two tulip photo albums
made in MS Publisher, an Office on my msn site. The choice of design reflects
Jane’s original idea. To me it signals, that life is
even looked at. From then on, I only exciting, when it’s slightly off balance. We
spent many hours playing with it. don’t want you to be bored. So what do you
Redesigned my Dutch newsletter, think? Do you like it? (see page 2)
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 2

After all these years … a new coat!!! (2)

While playing with the new design, I decided to throw the old formula,
with an article, a quotes and a portfolio section, overboard. I wanted to
make it even more informal, and more inviting for the reader to leaf
through the newsletter to find something interesting. Each time the co-
lors will be different. These are summer colors, inpired by spring tulips.
Obviously, the next step is publishing it online, so we don’t have to
bother about mailing it as an attachment. Then a simple link will get you
my website. As this newsletter is a hobbyhorse, business prevails: first I
have to invest in upgrading my June 2001 website, www.hopstaken.com.
Let’s make some money first. We’ll see ...

2008: a Year of Major Changes

“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different
one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this
miracle.” Paulo Coelho (author of ‘The Alchemist’)
The first day of this year I knew it: 2008 Olympic Games in China starting soon.
would be a year of major changes. Devastating changes, such as the Myanmar
Change is everywhere in the air: Mr. cyclone, and the Sichuan earthquake. Posi-
Obama, a presidential candidate in the tive change, when many Chinese and their
USA, made it his keyword. Yet, I feel allies around the world helped improve the
change everywhere. Many friends tell image of China, as it was being damaged. A
me about changes both in jobs and pri- result of the daily confusion, in the form
vate lives. From study to work, or rever- of a mix of facts and lies the newsmedia
se. Or is it me projecting my own perso- keep on pouring out. Oh yes: happy chan- Changes happen. After going up, you
nal changes on my environment? The ges: two dear friends getting married, a few come down. Then, stand up ...
end of DDU? My Vietnam dreams? Is weeks ago, Morgan & Amy. And here’s me
the world on the move, or is it just my … starting a new life, with just some small
world? Somehow the speed of change change in my pocket. And we’re only half-
accellerates, and it’s not always easy to way the year!
keep up with it. It reminds me of an old
movie, where two men are chasing each Changes can be awesome. Free falling, stuck
other on top of a train, back and forth, to a professional sky diver, from an altitude of
now and then ducking, just in time, to 3 kilometers, is a most rapid and fantastic
avoid being hit by a tunnel. Exciting change. When you have an opportunity, DO
changes: three weeks of European IT. And if you are afraid of heights, the only
Championship Soccer just finished, the
danger is you may lose your acrophobia.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 3

Dam Square, May 10: we love CHINA!

The terrible events in Sichuan,
less than two days later, and the
massive and ongoing effort of
many to save people, help the
wounded and homeless, and
restore the living conditions, have
made a deep and lasting impressi-
on. “I love China” is not just a
promotional slogan, it comes
straight from the heart of every
Chinese.

This I noticed on May 10, during

a two hour China Olympics event
on Dam Square, Amsterdam. The
many Chinese, young and old,
made me feel one of them, and
once again I realized that nationa-
lity, race and culture are no barrier
to human togetherness. We are all
family. We should concentrate on
the 99% we have in common,
instead of pretending that the 1%
difference is 99%.
Two days later I realized we have
99,9% in common. The 0,1 per-
cent is each person’s unique per-
sonality. All the rest: make-belief.
Below: signing the banner that will go to
Beijing.
Above: Luo Man (Romana)
& Zeng Qian (Tracy) with a
Dutch Olympics fan.
Left: Peng Jianxiong (Saxon)
leading the Arnhem delegation
on Dam Square. There were
groups from Groningen, Wage-
ningen, Delft, Leeuwarden and
other university cities.
Below: a reporter for Radio 1,
the Dutch national newswire,
asked me what a Dutchman
was doing among the Chinese.
I told him I like to surround
myself with friends.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 4

What do you know?

CHINOISERIE
Pronunciation: shin-wah-zree
Part of Speech: Noun
Meaning: Anything reflecting Chinese culture:
Chinese artifacts, designs, artistic styles,
behavior.
Notes: If you choose today’s Good Word keep
in mind that its French spelling and
pronunciation give it away as rather artificial
and affected. However, it is true that English
offers no unaffected alternative. Just be careful
of the pronunciation.
In Play: Chinoiserie may refer to things from
China or things done in a Chinese style: “After
her cruise up the Yangtze River, Gilda Lilly Greece: Mount Olympus. If you were a god, would you live there???
redecorated her apartment from top to bottom The deities believed to have dwelled upon the mythic mount
in chinoiserie.” Today’s word may be pluralized were Zeus, the king of the gods; his wife Hera; his brothers
since it can refer to individual objects: “Haifa Poseidon and Hades; his sisters Demeter and Hestia; and his
children, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Aphrodite, Athena, Hermes
Luten likes to serve her Chinese dinners on a
and Hephaestus. It is interesting to note that these Olympian
hodgepodge of porcelain chinoiseries she gods and goddesses were understood in ancient times as
collected on her trips to the Far East.” archetypes representing idealized aspects of the multi-faceted
Word History: This Good Word, as mentioned human psyche. Worship of the deities was a method of
invoking and amplifying those aspects in the behavior and
above, is French, the noun from the adjective personality of the human worshipper. Zeus was the god of
chinois ‘Chinese’ from Chine ‘China’. Chine, mind and the intellect, and a protector of strangers and the
China, and similar words found in European sanctity of oaths; Hera was a goddess of fertility, the stages of a
languages were borrowed by those languages woman's life and marriage; Apollo represented law and order,
from the Persian and Sanskrit word cinah and the principles of moderation in moral, social and
intellectual matters; Aphrodite was a goddess of love and the
‘Chinese people’. These languages picked up the overwhelming passions that drove humans to irrational
word from Chinese Ch’in (originally Qin), the behavior; Hermes was the god of travelers, of sleep and dreams
name of the Chinese dynasty (221–206 BCE) and prophecy; Athena was spiritual wisdom incarnate;
that established the first centralized imperial Hephaestus was the god of the arts and fire; and Ares
government in China. Much of the Great Wall represented the dark, bloodthirsty aspect of human nature.
of China was built during the rule of this
dynasty. These gods and goddesses did not actually live upon Olympos,
rather the ancient myth can be understood to be a metaphor
(Source: Dr. Goodword AlphaDictionary) for the power of the sacred mountain. This spiritual power had
drawn hermits and monks to live in the caves and forests of the
The REAL Mount Olympus mountain since long before the dawn of the Christian era. With
the coming of Christianity the myths and legends of the old
Traditionally regarded as the heavenly abode of the Greek Greeks were suppressed and forgotten, and the holy mountain
gods and the site of the throne of Zeus, Olympos seems was seldom visited. Today, weekend hikers and young travelers
to have originally existed as an idealized mountain that on the vagabond trail through Europe dash up and down the
only later came to be associated with a specific peak. The peak in a single day. It is certainly a beautiful place for such a
early epics, the Illiad and the Odyssey (composed by Ho- hasty hike, yet to draw upon the real magic of Olympos one
mer around 700BC) offer little information regarding the must come as a pilgrim and stay some quiet days in the woods.
geographic location of the heavenly mountain and there The author has lived for a month in the forests of the sacred
are several peaks in Greece, Turkey and Cyprus that bear peak and experienced that the spirits of the old gods and
the name Olympos. The most favored mythological choi- goddesses are still powerfully present.
ce is the tallest mountain range in Greece, the Olympos (Source: www.sacredsites.com)
massif, 100 kilometers southwest of the city of Thessalo-
niki in northern Greece. The highest peak - shown in the “Do one thing at a time and do that one thing as if your life
photograph - is Mytikas at 2918 meters (9570 feet). depended upon it.” Eugene Grace
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 5

Useless Knowledge
This summer’s word: doozy (with a note on ‘lulu’) Hobby madness
Pronunciation: du-zee . Part of Speech: Noun
Meaning: A pip, a beaut, a lulu, a humdinger, a lollapalooza, in other Many of my friends at some
point in their lives have gone
words, an epitome, prime example, something truly extraordinary in its totally out of control, where
class. their hobby was concerned.
Notes: Although I’ve equated lulu, beaut, humdinger, and lollapalooza in They collect everything that is
today’s definition, this characterization is at odds with the late George even remotely connected, the
most trivial information, and
Carlin’s. According to Carlin, “There are two pips in a beaut, four beauts pay lots of money for souve-
in a lulu, eight lulus in a doozy, and sixteen doozies in a humdinger. No nirs. They become member of
one knows how many humdingers there are in a lollapalooza.” a club that consists of the
same mad people. Travel half
I wouldn’t argue with him; I don’t think I have ever seen a lollapalooza. the globe to visit congresses
The plural of this word is doozies, which leads some speakers to assume where they collect more use-
that the singular is spelled doozie. It isn’t. less knowledge and collectors’
In Play: Our original choice for a Good Word for today was lulu, but the items.
origin of this word turned out to be a doozy of a mystery, so we settled In fact, I’m crazy too. You
may recall I’m a fan of Duke
for doozy itself—a lulu of a word, if I do say so myself. If we follow Ellington, the American
Carlin’s formula, we could say things like, “I wouldn’t say his new car is a bandleader and composer. I
doozy but she sure is a lulu.” But would we want to? have nearly all his recorded
Word History: The question of the origin of this good if slangy word has output. Know thousands of
very small details only my
bred two schools of thought. Some think it a corruption of daisy which Ellington friends are intere-
referred to anything first-rate in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Howe- sted in. But they know them
ver, the slippage from the vowel in daisy to that in doozy is unlikely. already, so when we talk we
Others think this word is a variant of Duesy, a clipping of Duesenberg, usually just confirm our
the expensive and exquisite car of the 20s and 30s. The problem here is knowledge. Every day I recei-
ve on average 10 emails con-
that the word doozy first appeared in print in 1903. However, prior to taining information and dis-
building their superb cars, the Duesenberg brothers built superb racing cussions on this topic. I read
bicycles (raced them, too), and they began that business in 1895. The best them all. End of May I missed
speculation, then, is that our Good Word began as a clipping of the attending the Duke Ellington
bicycle name, which was reinforced in the 20s and 30s by the reputation 2008 Conference in London,
felt this was a serious loss.
of the car. Like in Stockholm (2004) I
(Source: Dr. Goodword - www.yourdictionary.com) could have met again some of
the living dinosaurs of the
world of Ellington, people
who have worked with him
60, 70 years ago.
Why go mad with a hobby?
We all have the ability to start,
move/change and stop some-
thing. But once we find some-
thing we really really like, we
start, and just keep moving …
Why stop? This of course
may lead to excesses like fat-
ness, gambling debts, or on a
different level, to becoming
filthily rich. It can also lead to
relationships going down the
drain, as the partner feels
second place after the hobby.
So the solution to all of life’s
problem is, to turn your life
partner into your no. 1 hobby.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 6

Chen Yan (Morgan) marries Corné

Peter had told me that Morgan could sing. Then a moment arrived when she hap-
pened to be the last in room 102, and I asked her if she could sing something for
me. Although she was a bit reluctant, she did sing a few notes. They worked like
magic. When I say, she restored my faith in Mankind, I’m not joking. Morgan’s sin-
ging did this to me. She sang solo during the Chinese Cultural Evening (when she
also led the ‘Ye Shanghai’ parade), and the Graduation boat trip, duetting with Pe-
ter. I have it all on film. Before she returned to China, I told her my wish for her: to
find the love of her life. Within two months, she did. In her home town Zengzhou
she met Corné, a Dutchman who was travelling in China with two friends. January
2006 he returned to China, and proposed her to marry. Then a long procedure star-
ted to bring Morgan to The Netherlands. 11 months after they met, they started
their life together in his house in Roosendaal, The Netherlands. Morgan learned
Dutch fast, and found a job. June 12, the couple married in the nearby town of Ber-
gen op Zoom. What a wonderful wedding it was!

Top: Morgan, 2008; left: singing with Peter on the Graduation boat, July 15, 2005, singing ‘Sealed with a Kiss’; right: with
Corné in the frontyard of their house, September 1, 2006. Below, left: Morgan in Shanghai dress, June 23, 2006. Below and next
page: Morgan & Corné’s wedding. Below middle: Morgan’s mom. Below right: Peter arrives at the party.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGINA 7
 VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 8

Tran Thu Thao (Amy) marries her Nhat

She transferred from Saxion to DDU in September 2005, and graduated June 2006. Rapidly she made her presence
felt among the Vietnamese students of her year. No shyness, direct, spontaneous, outspoken and ‘outward bound’. I
recall a great Vietnamese-Nepalese dinner at her friend Jane’s house in Deventer, a private Vietnamese language les-
son, and several happy chats. She went back to Vietnam right after Graduation, to meet her family, but also, her boy-
friend Nhat. Last year, I was fortunate to meet them both, and Amy’s family. The day Jane & I spent at her family
house, April 2007, is an unforgettable memory. I got to know Nhat a bit, as Amy took him along every time we met.
Let me assure you: these two are a true love couple; they have been since before Amy came to study in Holland. 2
years ago she invited me to her wedding. I’m so glad it all worked out for them. And as for myself: so glad I could
make it! I was honored to be their guest, at her parents’ house, at Nhat’s mom’s house, and in the evening at a great
dinner party. Jane, Tony & Van were also present.

Top left: Amy and Peter Waite, June 14, 2006; top right: Graduation, June 23, 2006; below left: Amy & Nhat celebrating Moon,
October 10, 2006; below right: Amy collecting fruit in her backyard, April 22, 2007. Next page: Amy & Nhat’s wedding, HCMC
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 9
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 10

Hand picked from my mailbox

Above: Deventer garden shots by Peter.

Left: bitterballen in Margate, Florida (USA) during
Holland—Italy (3-0)
Below: traditional Dutch lady’s bike, Deventer

Left: Junlin Li (Jetli) performing in Arnhem; right: at work for Huisman

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 11

About masquerades, images & identities

Left: the statue of Queen Wilhelmina on Brink Square suddenly had a new crown.
Below: Zhou Lincheng (Apple, left) feeling good in Guilin, with her cousin Rebecca.

At DDU I ran several classes on ‘Image & Identity’, as part of the PR block. At Wittenborg, I delivered
an I&I seminar. Most students like it, as it’s not limited to business use, but also for personal use, as in
career building and personal PR. It’s an intriguing subject. Finding out about a person’s true identity
may take years, or seconds. Many of us need others to help us discover who we really are. Usually,
when a person feels good and is among friends, it’s easy to show the identity. It’s easy to ‘be yourself’.
Those moments life feels very simple; no theatre, no stress, no hiding behind masks. You can be ‘just
you’. The image is that of a person who feels good. Like Apple above. It’s quite relaxing: you don’t
need to think, play a role, consciously put on a mask. It’s different when the image does not reflect the
identity. When you feel bad, but want to make a good impression, you’ll tend to hide your identity be-
hind a mask. Then you hope for better days, so you can take off your mask and be simple again.
Some argue we wear masks all the time. This would mean that everyone is to some degree lying about
his or her true identity. I’m not that cynical. I know that those who are closest to me make me feel I
don’t need to play a role, or wear masks. I can be just me. Nothing is more relaxing!
In social life we are forced to play our roles. In her time, Queen Wilhelmina—grandmother of Queen
Beatrix—was the sole successor to the Dutch throne. She grew up and was educated to be fulltime
Queen. She was seen as a strict and formal, even somewhat cold person. Someone you wouldn’t dare
to approach. The Statue at the Deventer Brink conveys this image. This was before the Second World
War. During this war the real identity of this lady came out: a 100% committed, disciplined yet warm-
hearted and emotional woman, the mother of all Dutch, who both deeply impressed, and stole the
hearts of those who met her.
“Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don’t just stand there, make it
happen.”
Lee Iacocca (1924-, American Businessman, Former CEO of Chrysler)
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3
Above: Nieuwe Markt, Deventer, as seen from the semi-
nar room at Wittenborg, May 16. Rain was a needed
change after two weeks of sun. Two days later, the skies
were clear again for another period of early summer wea-
ther. The Dikke Van Dale terrace is full of people.
PAGE 12
Above: Dai Jiaying (Wing) in Shanghai
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating
youself.”
George Bernhard Shaw
Left: Manish Gaurav successfully runs his clothing
shop in Bahraich, Uttar Pradesh, India. He has
marriage plans.
“I think and think for months and
years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusi-
on is false. The hundredth time I am
right.”
Albert Einstein
Left: Lien Huong (Jane) and her cousin & friend
Phuoc Tran (Bup), in Ho Chi Minh City.
“The true secret of giving advice is, after
you have honestly given it, to be perfectly
indifferent whether it is taken or not and
never persist in trying to set people right.”
Hannah Whitall Smith
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 13

Returning to Vietnam
Two years ago (Wisdom no. 4) I wrote an article “If one advances confidently in the direction of
called ‘Before reality there is a dream’. The quote his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which
on top said: “One does not discover new lands he has imagined, he will meet with a success un-
without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a expected in common hours...If you have built
very long time.” castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
Nearly all readers have done just that. You left that is where they should be. Now put foundati-
your homeland for a few years, even. You have ons under them.”
discovered at least The Netherlands, small as it is.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862, American
Until recently I had spent altogether just 4+ weeks
essayist, poet, naturalist
in Vietnam. This proved to be too short. Nga
(Anna) was right all the time: “You have to be here
a few months!” Well, finally I have listened to her
advice. Since June 14 I am in Ho Chi Minh City,
and will not leave until August 4. Seven weeks!
This time it’s ‘now or never’: if I succeed, GREAT.
If I don’t, great! Vietnam has gotten ‘under my
skin’; it feels like a second home. When the ‘call’
came, I bought a ticket to Ho Chi Minh City, whe-
re Lien Huong (Jane), Huyen Nga (Anna) and Hai
Ha (Jenny) made sure I’d meet the right people.
And I did: I now have a most interesting network.
I ran a workshop for supply chain managers in
Vietnam. There will be free introductory lectures.
I’m also helping to establish a knowledge link bet-
ween Dutch and Vietnamese lawyers. Still, sofar I “Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be
haven’t succeeded in setting up shop. I’m not ma- always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
king money: the dream is still a dream. Yet, the there will be a fish.”
adventure is one that has been worth every effort. Ovid (BC 43-18 AD, Roman Poet)
From reuniting with DDU alumni, and meeting
several of their families, to being introduced to ele-
ments of the country’s culture no tourist will ever
experience. I’m no longer a tourist, I’m a Dutch
Vietnamese. Even if I only speak a few words, and
have no clue what the Vietnamese talk about. What
is it then? In the book ‘Saigon’ the main character
says that once you’re infected by Vietnam, you
won’t get rid of it. Of all foreigners I’ve met, only
one wanted to move on. As he is a career diplomat,
it’s not surprising. So I’ve returned to Vietnam, for
work, for the country, the people, and yes of cour-
se, for my special and dearest friends. Some first
impressions you see on the next pages.
“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or
in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and
protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes
always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.”

Woodrow T. Wilson (1856-1924, Twenty-eighth President of the USA)

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 14

Returning to Vietnam images

Ho Chi Minh City,
late June. Clockwise
from top right: A
large painting of
Keukenhof on a
hospital wall; a
table with a screa-
ming advertisment
and a noodle and
spring roll dinner;
Jane’s bike getting a
wash; a lady who
serves breakfast
below my balcony; a
bike driver with a
great profile.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 15

Returning to Vietnam week one

Top: delivering a workshop; home cooking delight. Above: dining with Nga
(Anna) & her brother Trung, and Huong (Jane).

Left: Thu, a member of Huong’s

church choir married Vi. The wed-
ding ceremony took place in the
Notre Dame Cathedral, Ho Chi
Minh City. In the evening the choir
sang at the wedding party, where
they impressed me with an unrehear-
sed thoroughly fun performance.
Above: with Huong in ao dai before
the Notre Dame.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3
What we all have in common: matters of the heart
If you ever had the idea that matters of the heart
only concern young people, I have news for you.
Matters of the heart concern all of us, of all ages, all
times, all cultures. True, some manage successfully
to deny, ignore and even hide the matters of their
heart. That is: for some time, years, maybe even
decades. A lifetime, even.
Romantics are people who can’t hide the matters of
their heart. They find it very hard to take distance
to their feelings of love for someone. Yet, our cul-
tures demand we are careful to expose these fee-
lings. Certainly, it would become quite a mess if
everyone with romantic feelings starts expressing
them in public. Although, Paris has a reputation for
spontaneous public expressions of love, especially
since Robert Doisneau’s picture (right) was publis-
hed. A definite ‘don’t’ in Beijing or Ho Chi Minh
City! Amsterdam? Hmmm … with our ongoing
internationalization it seems to change towards less
tolerance.
Anyway, non-romantics don’t care about this; they
find romance a bit silly, and see people in love as
half-lunatics. Which, by the way, is true. Lovers
happily lose their minds, let their hearts take full
control, and often are nuts to the bone. They tend
to become highly irresponsible, and very creative in
finding ways to make love work. Non-romantics in
my opinion are afraid of the dangers of love. Not
just afraid of what family or their neighbour may
think. Also afraid of losing their love. As they may
“Friends may come and go, but those who truly lo-
ve you will never leave you.”
Anonymous
“Who loves and is loved, would never be the same
person as before. Love is all we want and in the end
is all we had.”
Alexandru Paler
“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor
hell a fury like a woman scorned.”
William Congreve (1670-1729, British playwrite)
“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.”
Hannah Arendt (1906-1975, political philosopher)
PAGE 15
have heard or read about love going wrong, and
former lovers become wildly destructive. So they
prefer the safety of no romance, of a loveless life.
Married or not. Life is all about making decisions.
In a Dutch song there is a line that says: “Oh, I
wished I had said yes, that summer I said no.”
Love is a risky business. How can you be sure it’s
real? How will you conquer those seemingly im-
possible barriers? How much ‘stamina’ do you
have? What to do when you realize you don’t lo-
ve your partner? Or when you love and your part-
ner no longer loves you? And how about telling
each other everything? Hmmm … complicated!
Love is ultimate communication. When you have
problems communicating, you’ll have problems
giving and receiving love. As with the whole sub-
ject, there is no school on the planet where they
teach kids about communication. Result: a world
which is suffering from the effects of miscommu-
nications. Let alone, of love that ends all too
soon. Life is love’s school, many miss class ...
Recently a young man told me his idea of love.
He had found the answer on the internet. In his
words: “Love is pure biology. A physical pheno-
menon. Attraction lasts 2—3 months, then you
have to return to reality, and build a relationship
based on friendship.” I didn’t argue with him; it’s
useless arguing with a believer. Just like it’s use-
less to convince a romantic that love is just a bio-
logical function.
But this young man has a problem. Whenever he
meets a girl, and he tells her about his idea about
love, she walks away. Matters of the heart ...
Denial and reason are insufficient to grasp them.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 17

Random images from East & West, North & South

Right: all over the world there Above: May 24 Patrice reads
are walls where people put up from her book, the day it was
notes. Often these are ads, or published: ‘Memories from my
prayers. Sometimes cries from the heart’s little drawer.’
heart. Like someone looking for The book deals with her per-
a loved one, after a disaster. Liu sonal life, about losing her
Fan (Sarah) poses next to such daughter, nearly her life, and
a (Chinese) wall. picking it up again. In a
grand way.
“You create your oppor- Actually, the book is an ac-
tunities by asking for count of survival. It could be
them.” an encouragement to anyone
Patty Hansen who needs to overcome serious
loss.

Left: the Deventer Brink on an average day.

This spring the ‘terrace weather’ arrived sud-
denly; as if the winter changed into summer,
overnight. Is it climate change? Or just typi-
cal Dutch weather? The ‘terrace people’ don’t
mind. All they want is a chance to catch
some light, enjoy good company, and relax.
With a soft drink, a beer or an ice cream.
When I think of the cities many readers now
live and work in, Deventer must have become
a strange memory of a quiet, slow-paced,
clean, small provincial town. Where most of
you lived (and studied) for 2, 3 years. No,
old times won’t come back. Memories do, if
you allow them to. “Long ago it must be, I
have a photograph. Preserve your memories,
they’re all that’s left you.” (Paul Simon)
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 18

Images from a Deventer Festival (1)

Peter took pictures during the Deventer ‘stilt festival’.

In June, the ’Kermis’ was back in town. Anyone who
stayed in Deventer will recall these events.

Left: Hilde using her binoculars to watch the high and

mighty stilt walkers. Or the photographer?

“There is no such thing as a ‘self-made’ man.

We are made up of thousands of others.
Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for
us, or spoken one word of encouragement to
us, has entered into the make-up of our cha-
racter and of our thoughts, as well as our suc-
cess.”
George M. Adams
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 19

Graduation Assignment Presentations MIC/DDU

Clockwise from left:

Mr. Deelstra, Kamal
Kumar Aryal, Jimmy,
Ananda Acharya,
Laura, Janet Hou,
Huilin Sun, and
Rana Bahadur Lama
with mr. Van Kuijk.
(May 31 & June 6)
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 20

Random DDU memories

Peter & I still know ALL

the names … do you?
These are some graduates
from summer 2004 and
summer 2006.
From a 2008 perspective, I
see two mothers, one father
(excluding the greyhairs),
several who have careers,
several who continued their
studies.
Quiz: Do you remember
the names?
Those who have all the
names correct (nicknames
no problem), will have
their own page in the next
Wisdom.
Good luck!
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 3 PAGE 21

Images from a Deventer festival (2)

Peter took all the Deventer pictures.

Deventer will never change. So if you ever
plan a reunion in Deventer, even if it’s 25
or 50 years from now, it will always be like
when you were living here.
 HOPSTAKEN INTERNATIONAL — AMSTERDAM — HO CHI MINH CITY ♫

WHAT IS WISDOM???

What is Wisdom??? is
published 4x a year, usually at
the end of each quarter. When
you want to see your stories
and pictures in the next
edition, make sure I have it/
them at least two weeks before
publication.

Created with the help of many.

Peter van Oosten is my no. 1
assistant.

All correspondence:
loek.hopstaken@gmail.com.

Amsterdam/Deventer/Ho Chi
Minh City, June 30, 08
Rachael graduated in England … she’s Master in Finance & Business Management

Left: April 28 Jules Plevier’s dad (right) completed

his rich career as director of a series of companies. It
was my privilege to follow the final 13 years, and
witnessed how he put three companies on the world
map. At Jules’ right is his wife Yildiz, Deniz’ sister.
The picture was taken at Keukenhof Castle; which
explains the tulips.

In Amsterdam, Caroline went to the première of this Sean Penn movie,

about a guy who chased his dream, but forgot to take the gruesome reality
seriously.

THE NEXT ISSUE OF WHAT IS WISDOM

Piotr & his baby boy, in Poland. WILL BE OUT AROUND MID OCTOBER 2008