Reflection

Take 4.5 I had a very hard time starting this reflection. In fact, this is the 4.5th version (0.5 because there was some debate if this piece was an introduction or reflection). And it probably explains why the heading is super large. Was it really that I had nothing to write about? Nothing about English AP had an impact on me at all? Nothing about creative writing changed my view of the world or something? English 11 AP why was I even in that class? I got straight Bs last year! If I could have it any other way, I would not have chosen the English AP path. However, I did not regret it at all. I do not enjoy writing, yet it is essential to every class even science, my intended major. At first the markers, the mind maps, the overly-passionate lecturing was just passed off as non-serious teaching. Crayola markers were for kids; why were we using them to writes notes in class? If we were writing notes, then why not just make us get colored pens? You once explained this: It was about the medium. When I simply got tired of writing in a pen day after day, a marker was much appreciated! Before implementing color, I never noticed how bland my notes were. In chemistry class last year, I was already experimenting by highlighting headers and subtopics in my notes. But I didnt know I could take it further. What really allowed me to reach the full potential of colored notes was 11 English AP. Every day English class encouraged marker use; every day I was enlightened by rainbows and soon I couldnt stand the white and black of my notes and cheesy highlighting. There were so many colors in between that I rigidly thought were only for drawing amateur pictures again, for kids. I started taking my physics notes in color and it

did help. I took more time to furnishing my notes and I looked at them more often (sometimes just to admire the beauty). And then I realized: English AP did a lot more than just help my writing it enhanced my skills as a student. Emphasis on sentence variety was another piece of English AP that I initially scoffed at. I always asked myself, Why should it matter how many times I use the long dash, a colon, a semi-colon, a tricolon, etc. If the meaning is clear, then there is no need for such trivial things! However, as I progressed through the year I realized that sentence variety was a great tool. Higher level writing was composed of these tools which made writing easier to understand and more interesting the latter the most important. The sophistication impresses readers, thus attracting attention to the message of the writing. I must admit, if it werent for all the sentence variety practice throughout the year, I would not have done as well on my SAT essay (I left a whole example out but had a ton of writing techniques in the introduction and first body and managed to score a 9 or maybe I just got lucky). Take risks. The phrase was repeated so much, I think it finally got to me. Before 11 English AP, I was a safe writer: writing to please, writing to get the grade, and writing to protect myself. I was adamant to keep my own opinions behind the walls of grades, but I got comfortable. The environment in the English classroom was supportive and promoted uniqueness and dissent. It was the perfect breeding ground for creativity. I always admired those students that dared to hand in a poem bashing creative writing the icon of Mr. Weinsteins class. Yet it surprises me even more to see a teacher so willing to accept the divergence and resistance of his students. To be able to laugh things off calmly when they

were mocking his English faith was a test of resilience. So I, too, will take the ultimate risk. I do not like creative writing. It becomes so personal even when writing about impersonal things. Or maybe Im not used to it. Maybe theres just too much risk. My whole high school career as an English student was crammed with detached essays. 11 English AP was just the opposite. Though the year had a sufficient amount of essays, students were encouraged to use pathos in an academic paper a recommendation unheard of. I always knew the definition of pathos since freshman year, but I never practiced using it. Teachers wanted logos; there was no room for pathos. Since I was a safe writer, I performed to their expectations. But creative writing was the new ground where I could write myself, mark myself, and be myself on paper; where I had supreme freedom. With great liberty comes great danger because creative writing required my personal thoughts. Getting back a T-E always gave me a sinking feeling even when I knew it was not the content that is being corrected, but the writing. However, the revision process is the ultimate showing of resilience for English students and is an important step to improving. My best friend is a great editor. Before creative writing, I did not share anything I produced to anyone. The insistence for peer-editing forced me to be more open. I found that the more pieces I let her read, the more proud I was of my writing. If I gained anything at all from creative writing, it is that I am no longer embarrassed about my work. I always knew it was complete and utter crap but I didnt know how to edit it. Having someone to dump my writing on and say, Here it is. Make comments. Ill be back in half an hour, was almost a guarantee that I would improve. Hell, she has even edited this reflection (which

she expressed her undying love for)! I owe her a lot for putting up with my incessant pleas to read my writing. I was completely caught off guard when Mr. Weinstein announced, Take out your headphones or Take out your cellphones. I could only raise my eyebrows skeptically. Was a teacher seriously endorsing the use of cellphones in his class? It was shocking and I was afraid that he was being too nave; students would just take advantage of this policy. However, it worked to give students a sense of choice. My favorite class lesson was creative writing workshop as I remember just plugging in my music. Before I knew it, the period was over. In all my past English classes, sitting behind desks and listening to a single tyrant drone on and on about a book I could care less about was absolutely horrible. English was a mere class that I had to take to make it to graduation. I vowed to myself, no more English classes after high school. But 11 English AP showed me that English wasnt about being forced to write ridiculous essays I, as a student, had freedom for once. I dont want to spoil this ephemeral feeling of taking control of my student career so I will not be taking 12 English AP next year. If I did continue on my English AP path, I would have found myself reading boring classics and writing boring essays; I would have found myself pushing into a direction I defiantly despised. This year, I have taken so many risks; it is the perfect time for me to expand into the fields that I do enjoy while I am still open to dissenting opinions and resilient enough to withstand criticism.