Dealing with Difficult People

CC Core Training Series (Conflict Resolution)

 Difficult People are

 Difficult People make you feel

Training Objective:
How you can better cope, interact with, deal with, and survive Difficult People in your daily encounters.

The Core Rules for Dealing with Difficult People.

Rule #1 in Dealing with DP

Dont take DP personally. DP are equal opportunity annoyers.

Rule #2 in Dealing with DP

Dont try to change DP; it usually wont work. You can only change the way you react to DP.

Rule #2 in Dealing with DP

Dont try to change DP; it usually wont work. You can only change the way you react to DP.

Managing Behaviors v. Fixing People.

Rule #3 in Dealing with DP

The system (not you) needs to work at removing difficult people.

Rule #4 in Dealing with DP

Dont let difficult people suck you in or change you.
(Dont fight back, retaliate or try to beat DP at their own game. Theyve been practicing their whole life; youre a lowly amateur.)

Rule #5 in Dealing with DP

Dont try to merely appease DP. (DP will keep coming back for more; change the way you react to DP and your life will be better)

A Basic Set of Strategies for Dealing with DP

A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP

1. Start out by examining yourself. 2. Explore what you are experiencing with a trusted friend or colleague. 3. Approach the DP for a private discussion using an I message. 4. Its okay to confront the DP publicly. 5. Be direct but use the right tone. 6. Listen for interests not issues.

A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP

7. Deal with the issues and interests; not with changing the person. 8. Competitive people: treat the situation as a sport (win-win). 9. Avoiders and Compromisers: treat the situation as an exercise in self-improvement. 10. Its ok to test! 11. Learn from your experiences!

Dealing with Specific Types of Difficult People

Accept what you cant change. Try to understand these fallible humans. --Albert Ellis

 As novices, we think were entirely responsible for the way people treat us. I have long since learned that we are only responsible for the way we treat people.Rose Lane He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. Lao-tzu