Professional Documents
Culture Documents
By Spencer Michaels
©2006, All Rights Reserved
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Table of Contents
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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Introduction
In his famous book, The Art of War, Sun Tzu spoke about using
meet and attract any woman, anywhere, at any time. By the time you
women.
The past does not equal the future. Take this statement and embed it
in your mind. The record of what has been has nothing to do with
what you can accomplish in the future. At this very moment you can
decide to be the person you want to be and design and entirely new
life for yourself. While we need to leave the past in the past, we need
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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all. There are rules and proven methods – which I’ll teach you in this
book. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results. That’s right – If you are trying to
meet women the same way you’ve always been and expect that
take my advice. I wasn’t the dorky guy who never got girls and then
women. I was always pretty good with women but still made tons of
human desires, but that was nothing compared to the education I got
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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and women and became infatuated with learning about what makes
women tick. So for years, I’ve researched and read every book and
then I’ve spent my years coaching guys around the country on how to
attract and meet women. I’ve taken what I’ve learned from the books
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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how to attract women and often find that it doesn’t work? I did for
years. I even made the ultimate mistake of asking girls I was dating
how I should act. Many guys have the mentality that if they want to
learn about what women want, they should ask women. It seems
logical enough but it doesn’t work for one major reason – Women
don’t know what they want! It’s a sad reality that very few women will
actually admit to you. A woman’s emotions are all over the place
day she might be in the mood for a sensitive guy, the next a funny
guy, then a week later she’s in the mood for a musician type. One
day she wants a guy who’s domineering and the next a sweet
sensitive guy who gives her all the space in the world.
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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City. The men at the events were given 6 minutes to talk to eight
everyone in the room, the men and women were given a secret ballot
to check off which people they were interested in. If both people
checked off each other, they were given each others' email
questionnaire before each speed dating event, after the event, one
month later and six months later. The questionnaire asked the
they were also asked to rate the person they just dated on the same
that the women filled out about what they were looking for in a mate
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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and the guys that they actually selected had absolutely no correlation.
In fact, what they said they wanted in a man and the men they
made by the professors was that the women's ranking order of what
they were looking for often changed the day after the event. They
found that if a woman met a few guys that she liked who were more
"attractive and funny" than "sincere and intelligent", the next day
when she filled out the same questionnaire, her preference order
funny higher than sincere and intelligent. After doing this experiment
with thousands of women, this pattern held true in almost all cases!
Another thing that happened in almost all of these cases was that
when filling out the same questionnaire one month later they'd go
back to the original answers they had chosen the first day they filled
This doesn't necessarily mean that women have no idea what they
want, it's just incomplete. This is where you step in with your
starts with of her ideal mate is her conscious ideal. But much of this
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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genetic programming kick in. This is why you need to take what a
woman says about what she wants in a man with a grain of salt.
Never assume that you're not her type, even if she says it. YOU can
I'm about to tell about a mistake that 99% of guys (who haven't read
this book) make when trying to get a woman to like them. They try to
use logic to appeal to women. They try to reason their way into to her
pants. This will NEVER work. Why? Because women work very
differently then men. The sooner you understand and accept that the
better off you’ll be. Women are not creatures of logic - they are
and most men spend the majority of their time trying to appeal to her
brain instead of making her feel. You can never convince a woman to
have feelings for you if she doesn't. Watching a guy try to convince a
girl to like him can be fun to watch. It’ll never work because women
gauge of attraction.
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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says or how civilized, cultured or progressive she tries to be, she has
characteristics and we’ll have women falling all over us. A major
they search out the strongest males to mate with in order to preserve
the race and create strong offspring. When a woman feels excited
and wild over a guy she’s feeling the same genetically programmed
response that an animal feels when it goes into heat. She can’t help
these feelings. The female animal in nature goes for the seemingly
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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how much she tries to fight these instincts it’s simply factual that they
structure.
logically choose it – they feel it or not. You can buy her flowers for the
next ten years and it won’t matter unless you make her FEEL this
attraction to you. Women don’t care how things work; they care how
things make them feel. In all of the romance novels and soap operas
women have been devouring since they were kids, the leading males
are always untamable, strong men who sweep women off their feet.
This is the quality that many “jerks” have. Women don’t like the fact
that the guy is actually a jerk – it’s just that jerks have a tendency to
“nice” guys don’t have. They can’t help it fellas. They are simply
realize and accept these facts, the easier time we’ll have
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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programmed to desire?
Physical Strength
man. Now don’t go running off to buy steroids because this doesn’t
necessarily mean that she wants a guy like the incredible Hulk. In fact
when a guy gets too huge muscularly many women see that as a
who walks with his head up high, with his shoulders back, showing
Ambition
usually enough to tell a woman that at some point soon, you’ll be the
dominant male she’s looking for and as long as she has the patience
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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listening to Renee Zellweger say, “I love him for the man he almost
is” and thinking “What a bitch. What’s wrong with the man he is right
now”. Then I realized that she couldn’t help it. It was her genetic
Yes I know it’s just a movie but it’s a perfect example of how women
think. His ambition to be the strong male was enough to keep her
women are programmed to look for the instinct in you that wants to
be dominant. Most men assume that they need to have lots of money
and power to get women when in fact; you don’t need to be rich or
attracted to the trait in you that desires to get rich, powerful and
successful.
Modesty
it will shine through in your actions. Any man that feels the need to
seem weak. Women have a built in radar that let’s them spot the
difference between real and fake confidence. Instead show with your
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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about it. I will teach you in this book how to always appear humble
them.
These are just a few of the characteristics that women are genetically
programmed to desire. Let me stop the list here and move on the
next chapter where I’ll begin to tell you how to start making these
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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Chapter 3: Confidence
People feel good about themselves when they are around confident
people. When you exude confidence and feel great about yourself,
You create a glow around you that women want to be a part of. They
can tell that you feel good about yourself and they want to feel that
way about themselves. They will draw close to you, hoping it will rub
off on them.
this lack of confidence eat me alive, I went out and learned all I could
with you the most important things I learned and the confidence
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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let me break down the myth that you must be the quintessential “good
What if I was to tell you that you are equally as good looking as Brad
Pitt? I bet you’d think I’m crazy. Well actually it’s true. The
make one person better than the next? It’s the way the viewer
we don’t actually see anything with our eyes. What actually happens
someone who you’ve known for several years. How do you look at
them? Would you say they are attractive overall? Now think about the
first day you met them. Really try to picture how you viewed them the
first day you saw them. I bet it’s at least somewhat different than how
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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More proof that you are really no different than Brad Pitt comes when
person was rich enough to afford a lot of food and avoid physical
labor. While we spend time on the beach working on our tan, in the
This was an indication that a man was wealthy and didn’t have to
work outside. In fact, people used to cover their entire bodies when
If a woman of today sees you having yellow teeth she’ll assume you
have bad breath and you don’t take care of yourself. In Japan and
Europe there was a time when men would dye their teeth black
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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showed that they were brave and didn’t back down from battle.
they’d like Leonardo and Giselle to stay on the island with them. Not
knowing that Giselle and Leo were dating, the guy answered that he’d
love them to stay but they’d probably never find mates because they
are so ugly. This guy actually thought that these two American icons
of beauty were the ugly ones! So back to my original point and the
really good news; YES - you are as good looking as Brad Pitt. That’s
the good news. The bad news is that women of our time and culture
attractive than “us mere mortals”. While it’s certainly an uphill battle
to try to convince a woman that you are better looking than Brad Pitt
off the bat, with proper technique you can shift her perception of
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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beauty. Think about it this way. For every feature on him, there is
Let’s look at his prominent cheek bones and strong jaw line and chin.
In Western societies, men and women of all races often agree that a
cheekbone structure and an extremely tiny chin but you are incredible
confident and masculine. In fact, you are the most confident man
she’s ever met. You have just set a new precedent for what confident
means to her. I agree that for the first meeting or two she’ll probably
still say that Brad is more attractive than you, but after a while those
old cultural views that she had associated with a strong chin can be
any chin at all. A “chinless” guy will actually become her new symbol
actually go out and search for a guy with a tiny chin because she now
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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So what’s the lesson to be learned about all this? If you don’t look like
Brad Pitt, don’t worry about it. With extreme confidence and the right
techniques you will actually become her new standard for beauty and
masculinity. Keep this in mind when you are out meeting women. You
that you have no reason to ever feel insecure. Be confident that with
the right attitude you can actually become the vision for what beauty
is in her eyes.
can blind a woman to the fact that you aren’t classically handsome. I
was hanging out with a group of girls I know watching Sopranos a few
sooooo hot!”. On the screen all I see are Tony and Carmela Soprano.
start looking around the room and see some photos on a table next to
the TV. In one of the photos I see a picture of one of the girls with her
arm around some guy. I assumed that must have been who she was
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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kept watching the show. A little while later, one of the other girls says,
“Yeah, he really is hot”. I finally realize that they are talking about
Tony Soprano. How could this possibly be? I was so confused. These
girls were drooling over Tony Soprano like he was a piece of steak. I
asked the other three girls in the room if they thought he was
was hot. They said, “There’s just something about him. I don’t know
what it is”. I couldn’t believe my ears. This was the ultimate proof to
me that with the right attitude, ANY man can be considered attractive
commanding, authoritative tone. He’s the kind of guy that will put a
woman in her place if she gets out of line with him. He will call her out
So no matter how ugly you are, if you can get women to think that
you are strong, in control and confident – they will find you attractive!
This is great news for all of us that look more like Tony Soprano than
Brad Pitt.
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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at some ways we can begin to develop it. I often have guys ask me
and imagine every aspect of his character. Don’t rush through this.
Without a very vivid picture of who you want to become, you’ll never
these questions: How does he walk? How does he move? What does
his voice sound like? Does he hold his head high? How does he
want you to say to yourself, “If I can see him, I can be him”. Now take
your face and put it on this character. I want you to brand this image
into your subconscious. In your mind, get used to walking around like
this guy. Get used to talking like him. Just as you wouldn’t expect to
be the best piano player in the world without practicing, you shouldn’t
comfortable with the new guy you’ve created. I want you to really
embrace the concept that you can be anyone you want. No guy was
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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a day and you’ll become more and more comfortable being this
“character”.
Another similar drill I want you to try is called “Acting as if”. Right now
I want you to stand up and try something. Come on, get up and really
do this! I want you to stand how you’d stand if you had 100 times
more confidence. Imagine that you were unstoppable. Stand how you
would if you were the most powerful, confident guy on the planet.
How does it feel? Get your chin up and your shoulders back. Now
step away from this book for a minute and walk how you’d walk if you
were 100 times more confident. Walk like you’re a lion marking his
territory. Walk with long deliberate strides. Take each step with total
self assuredness. Now I have to ask you – Why don’t you walk
around like this all the time? What are you afraid of? I’m sure you’re
thinking things like, “People might think I’m arrogant” or “It’s just not
me”. It’s these thoughts of fear that women can smell on you. You
who’s not afraid to let the world know he’s confident. You have
nothing to be afraid of. Let everyone around you know that you’re
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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someone important. What you’ll find is that they’ll start to treat you
you’ll start to actually become that way! For the next few weeks I
if you had 100 times more confident. After a while you’ll notice that it
Companies across the country teach sales teams a very key rule that
helps them sell. They are taught to assume that the buyer already
successful with women you need to assume that she wants you.
Assume that she is interested in you and your body language will
follow along.
took place to tell her that he already won. It’s no coincidence that he
was the 7 time champion. By the way, go out and buy “Pumping Iron”
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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inspirational. You can see that Arnold would have been irresistible to
confidence but he’s really enjoying life. People just flock to him.
buy the movies they are in and carefully observe every move the
they say and the way they say them. Skip to scenes where they are
speaking to a woman and pause the movie after they say lines that
you find well delivered. Rewind and listen to the line several times.
Then practice saying the line out loud in the exact way they said it
and model their posture and stance. Get out a pen and write down all
of the details you possibly can. Where are his eyes looking? How
all? Do this drill with a least 3 movie characters and try to find
confident? If you can pin point EXACTLY what it is they are doing,
you can do these exact same things and seem confident as well.
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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any chance you get. When reaching for a beer at the bar, grab it
tightly and pull it in to you. When you put seasonings on your food
use a couple of good hard shakes and then put the shaker down 20%
harder than you normally would. This shows you are in control of the
situation and that you’re decisive. You may not realize it, but she
shaking can turn a woman off. On a date you are being judged on the
Strong animals in nature make every move with power and authority.
You also need to learn mark your territory. An easy way to start doing
this is to take up more space. When you’re on a date, spread out and
process will reflect in all of your actions from the way you open a door
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved
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ahead of her (on the side closest to the street is you are walking near
probably won’t realize what you’re doing consciously but she will feel
Thank you for reading this free preview of The Art Of War For
the beginning of The Art Of War For Dating ebook course. The
http://www.datingwar.com
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels ©2006, All Rights Reserved