Habina 1

Elizabeth Habina Instructor: Malcolm Campbell Honors English 1103 8/27/13 Learning to be LOUD

I stoo outsi e the !oo en oor" I !as late# because the room number $or the classroom ha gotten change at the last minute" I !as una!are o$ the change# so I en e up being about 10 minutes late $or class" %ortunatel& $or me# the teacher !as also late '!ho starts the school &ear li(e that)*" I !as incre ibl& ner+ous $or this English class" ,ll I coul thin( o$ !as papers# papers# an - guess !hat- more papers" I cant write papers. Especially on topics that dont interest me. I am not good at forced writing. ,n all these $lashes o$ 10-page papers# rough ra$ts# an hours spent staring at a blan( computer screen !ere racing through m& min " I dont know how I am going to do this. ,n the roc(s in m& stomach .ust sat there as I entere the classroom $or the $irst time" /e$ore atten ing m& ual enrollment English class at 0CCC '0o!an Cabarrus Communit& College*# I !as !or(ing +er& har to impro+e m& !riting s(ills" I lo+e !riting as a little (i # an use to !rite the arn est things" 1hat !as be$ore !riting became an important part o$ aca emics an something I had to o to earn a gra e" I !oul !rite !ell enough to get an acceptable gra e# but i n2t ta(e an& .o& in it" M& 3,1 essa& score $rom that spring ha been (e& e+i ence o$ that" It !asn2t impressi+e" I mean# it !asn2t awful4 it .ust !asn2t up to !hat I (ne! I coul o" 3o in preparation $or m& college-le+el English class an another go at the 3,1#

I bought a boo( that ha !riting tips in it an starte to (eep a .ournal" I !oul onl& !rite in m&

Habina 2

.ournal !hene+er I $elt li(e it" I i n2t !ant m& !riting to be $orce 4 I !ante to !rite because I ha something to sa&" ,t $irst# it !as about ran om stu$$: !atching the 5l&mpics# $ear o$ college classes# an !hatnot" 6ou coul tell that I !asn2t com$ortable !ith the i ea" It !as li(e ma(ing small tal( !ith a person !hen &ou2re not sure !hat to sa&" ,bout t!ent& pages in# I starte to let lose" It liberate e+er&thing m& 7uiet reser+ation ha hel in me throughout the !hole a&" It let me put o!n !hat I coul n2t sa& because it !oul n2t come out o$ m& throat the !a& m& min !ante it to" I ha paragraphs entitle 80an om 0ants9 about people or things that ma e me particularl& ma that a& 'I !ant to assure &ou that these i not happen ail&4 .ust !hen I !as in an e:ceptionall& ba moo *" ;riting became a !a& to get out !hat I i n2t sa&# because I2m not such a +ocal person" 1he more I !rote# the more I en.o&e it# an the more natural it became" M& English teacher# Ms" Mitchum !as 7uite the scatterbrain# but she !as the s!eetest person# an let me slo!l& nurture m& !riting abilit& throughout the semester" 1he class starte out the semester !riting a personal narrati+e" I !ill totall& a mit that it !asn2t the best paper I ha e+er !ritten -m& !riting still !as maturing" I escribe m& cousin2s !e ing that !e ha atten e earlier that summer" It2s a cute stor& 'it2s (in o$ har to ruin a stor& about a !e ing# .ust sa&ing*# but i$ I !ere able to re-!rite it# I !oul # an I !oul probabl& start $rom scratch" M& English teacher2s criti7ues !ere e:actl& !hat I nee e # because it ma e me more humble about m& !riting an sho!e me I still ha a long !a& to go" 3hortl& a$ter turning m& paper in an recei+ing her $ee bac(# I too( another shot at the 3,1" In all honest&# I thought I !as more con$i ent in m& !riting abilit& until I sa! the prompt" <et it be (no!n that I2m ba at $orce !riting# but I absolutel& suc( at timed, $orce !riting" Especiall& !ith the 3,1 !riting prompts that I can2t e+er seem to ta(e one position on an go !ith it the !hole !a&" I can2t $igure out ho! I $eel about the prompt in m& hea # let alone !rite

Habina 3

about ho! I $eel in t!ent&-$i+e minutes" I ha to remin m&sel$ that I ha more o$ an a +antage than be$ore: I !as !riting about $i+e times more than !hat I ha been !hen I pre+iousl& too( the 3,1" 3o# I .ust !rote" ;hen &ou thin( about it# &our score is .ust base on opinion" I coul onl& hope that m& st&le o$ !riting !oul appeal to !hoe+er rea it# an there !asn2t an&thing I coul o e:cept !rite the same !a& I ha been !riting uring the summer an the earl& portion o$ the school &ear" ,$ter the 3,1# I ha to !or( on a 8position essa&9 $or English !here &ou ha to pic( a contro+ersial sub.ect rele+ant to to a&2s societ& an !rite &our stance on the sub.ect" I chose late-term abortion 'not an eas& topic- I am !ell a!are* to !rite about" It !as a +er& intimi ating paper- there !ere man& times !hen I .ust stare at m& computer screen# pra&ing I coul thin( o$ something that !oul $ill up the empt&# !hite space" ;riter2s bloc( contribute to the pains o$ !riting that paper at the beginning" It too( going to Church an listening to a surprise sermon about abortion to get m& min rolling t!o a&s be$ore m& rough ra$t !as ue" ,$ter that# the !or s $le! $rom m& han s to the (e&boar M& English teacher !as +er& impresse !ith m& paper# an I !as +er& surprise " I !asn2t as con$i ent in m& !riting as I ha been !hen I ha turne in m& narrati+e essa&" %or m& position essa&# I recei+e a score o$ 100" I realize that all o$ those tough# !riter2s bloc(- $ille moments !ere totall& !orth it# an that score# plus her $ee bac( ga+e me a much-nee e con$i ence boost in m& !riting" 3hortl& a$ter that paper# I !as able to get m& 3,1 scores# an # belie+e it or not# m& score !as a lot better than be$ore '!hoop# !hoop*" 3o ta(e the con$i ence boost I got $rom m& paper an a it to the one I got $rom the 3,1 score an -!ham= - &ou2+e

got a prett& coc(& !riter on &our han s"

Habina >

1he coc(iness !as goo though# because our last paper ue $or English !as a classi$ication research paper one in ,?, $ormat" 3o !hat !oul seem especiall& aunting an intimi ating because o$ it being our $inal paper 'an the $act that Ms" Mitchum reall& !asn2t 7uite sure hersel$ about ,?, $ormat in the beginning* !as .ust another assignment to me" ;ith this ne!# haught& attitu e to!ar s !riting# I eci e to !rite about something $un an en.o&able $or me. I2m not sure m& topic o$ classi$&ing i$$erent t&pes o$ @H< coaches has an&one else .umping up an relate to school" I remember sitting in a computer lab on campus" 1he room !as ob+iousl& ne!er than most places on campus" 1he carpet !as surprisingl& hal$!a& ecent# an the room !as actuall& painte " 1hree ro!s o$ tables !ith $lat-screene monitors $ille the room" , total o$ about 2A computers !ere in it" 3itting to!ar s the mi le o$ the secon ro!# I !as suppose to be 8researching9 $or m& paper4 instea # I !as cop&ing o!n a po!er point I ha misse $rom /iolog& <ab the pre+ious %ri a&" Ms" Mitchum !as going computer-to-computer iscussing the rough ra$ts o$ our papers !e ha turne in an that she ha pro+i e $ee bac( on" 1his is going to soun a!$ul# but I reall& i n2t put that much e$$ort into m& rough ra$t 'that ten s to happen !hen &ou get on the coc(& si e*# because I ha ha a prett& hectic sche ule at the time an $igure it !as onl& a rough ra$t" ,s I sat there# not $ollo!ing irections b& cop&ing /iolog& in$o instea o$ 8researching9# I coul o+er-hear her iscussions !ith $ello! peers" 1hings li(e 8!ea( topics9 an lac( o$ 8,?, $ormat9 came up 7uite a bit" ,n I !as terri$ie # because I ha n2t ha the time to o an&thing !ith the ,?, $ormat: 3he !as luc(& she actuall& got a rough ra$t in b& the ue ate= I coul alrea & hear her complaints in m& hea # an o!n# but a$ter that long semester# I !ante an nee e to en.o& something

Habina A

I starte planning out m& assurances that I (ne! !hat I !as oing an that the $inal ra$t !as going to blo! her a!a&" %inall& m& turn came" 3he glance through m& staple papers" I brace m&sel$ $or !hat I thought !oul come" 8I lo+e &our topic"9 3he sai in a s!eet# motherl&# com$orting +oice" 8It2s +er& creati+e"9 3he iscusse ho! she li(e m& opening# an I assure her that the ,?, $ormat !as m& ne:t step" 3he then let me lea+e# because it !as near the en o$ class" I !al(e out o$ the computer lab shoc(e - here she !as gi+ing literar& criti7ues to e+er&one else on their rough ra$ts# an accor ing to her# e+er&thing !as $ine an that I ha e+elope some $orm o$ immunit&" an & !ith mine" I !as beginning to thin(

;ith a !ee( le$t in the semester# !e !ere in our closet o$ a classroom !hen the gra es !ere gi+en $or our classi$ication papers" I !as hoping $or the best# an base o$$ o$ pre+ious $ee bac(# I i n2t $eel that I shoul ha+e been concerne in an& !a&" I recei+e m& paper !ith the score o$ BB on it an lea$e through her comments e:cite l&" ,t the bottom o$ the abstract page she le$t the $ollo!ing# brie$ note: 86our !riting is /eauti$ul# lo+e to rea &our essa&s= ;ish &ou the +er& best"9 <oo(ing bac( through m& .ournal# an rea ing that comment ma e me realize: I lo+e to !rite" 1hat semester taught me to ha+e a lot o$ con$i ence in m& !riting# but not thin( that I !as the ne:t Cic(ens or 1olsto&" I learne to recognize m& !riting +oice an let m& !riting +oice be lou enough to ma(e up $or m& t&pical silence" ,n as I !rite in m& .ournal or a paper $or school# I remin m&sel$ o$ ho! !riting use to be .ust something I had to o" ,n &es# I still have to o it $rom time-to-time" In the 7uiet o$ m& !orl # it2s the one place !here I can be <5DC"