Selena Chavez Humanities and Writing 011 Debelius September 9th, 2013 What does it mean to be educated?

One week. Five hundred girls. Well yes, I was excited to attend California Girls State that summer. But on the other hand, it seemed like a lot to handle. First of all, being around five hundred or so girls twenty-four seven, every second of every day, would be kind of stressful. I had never been in that sort of one gender situation before. But it wasnt exactly the lack of boys that made me the most nervous. I had this lingering fear that when I did arrive at the Claremont McKenna College, I would yet again feel like a total underdog. I had been in that type of situation before. Id meet a bunch of people who seemed more intelligent, more experienced, and more amazing than me. They all seemed to do everything and know everything while I was just lucky to hear about their exciting lives. So I assumed that Girls State would be a similar experience. I would pass the week in a semi-confused state as ambitious and seemingly omniscient girls marched around me ready to take over the world. But the week wasnt entirely what I thought it would be. I realize now that my preconceived notions about what it would be like and what I would be doing were completely wrong. When I arrived on campus I was told I would be living in the City of Crocker; all of the participants were assigned to live in different cities composed of about thirty girls who would live together on a dorm floor. As I pushed open the door to the city of Crocker, entering the floor common room with luggage barreling behind me, I stood with slight confusion as a group of thirty girls sat in a circle discussing how our city would function. Two minutes in, the huge government simulation had already begun.

In a way, I was right- I had no idea what was going on for a day or so. However, I was incorrect to assume that everyone else had everything figured out. Yes, the girls were smart and ambitious, but in the beginning none of them really knew what to expect. They were actually as new to the situation as I was. We were there to learn together, grow together, and experience the week together. The purpose of Girls State was to create our own California; it was almost like a big game of house. The delegates were each divided into cities and within those cities elections for city council, mayor, treasurer, our Senate and Assembly representatives, etc were held. Everything was very fast paced, and by the end of the first day we had already appointed city jobs and joined committees. I joined a committee in charge of creating our city laws and ordinances and on a whim become part of the Swamp Squad, which was our citys own law enforcement agency. The Squad patrolled the streets of Crocker, protecting the Crockerdile citizens and throwing any mischievous ruffian into the Swamp (our makeshift jail). As the week continued, our lives as Girls State citizens got a little more complicated. We began to not only attend city meetings, but also county meetings. Counties were composed of four different cities (which usually stayed in one dorm building) and Crocker City was a part of Larkin County. We began to hold county elections, and as we better understood the process we really started to immerse ourselves into the simulation. Animated campaigns began for county positions; girls created posters and passed out homemade buttons. Because Girls State was trying to be as realistic as possible, we were even required to fill out official paperwork and obtain signatures from other citizens and Notaries in order to run for a certain position. Soon, the political aspect came into play. We had to join a party, either the Whigs or the Tories. Each party had its own beliefs and main focuses. Elections for Party Leader, Platform Committee Chairman, and Steering Committee Chairman began. One person was elected from each city that then ran against three other girls in county elections. After a series of local elections, we had one Chairman or leader to represent our whole party. As a party, we were in

charge of creating a Party Platform for the state elections on various issues ranging from agriculture to immigration for our State. By the last couple of days, we had all gotten used to the Girls State way of life. We went to city, county, party, and even committee meetings and acted as if we were running our own little state. But everything had led up to the State elections. For a hectic couple of hours, girls campaigned for various honored State positions, such as Governor and Secretary of State. I served as a verification deputy for a girl who was running for governor. I was in charge of obtaining endorsement signatures from people in my county so that she would be qualified for elections. Out of scratch, we had created our own State. We had functioning cities with reasonable rules and had elected a governor who seemed like she would be running the State with the utmost care. We created laws on a variety of issues and had a clear view on what we wanted our state to be like. Although I felt dumb in the beginning, I learned so much throughout the week. I now understand that I was supposed to start with a clean slate so that I would be fully able to immerse myself in this new way of life. Although it was a simplified (and still yet complicated) version of a state, I felt very educated on how states are run. I realized that being educated does not necessarily mean that you already know everything but that you are willing to learn. You do not need to start off with the most knowledge but with an open mind and brain. I did not only learn the importance of keeping an open brain for academic reasons, but for keeping an open heart. While I was quick to judge the girls at the beginning, I discovered that I was wrong about them. As we all spent the week living together and experiencing the madness of Girls State, we grew as a family. They all were sweet, caring, and yet unique. We truly cared for each other, and became close friends in such a short amount of time. I would not have wanted the week to go any differently, as I couldnt have learned more about myself and my expectations and therefore grown as a person.

Selena, Thanks for sharing this story about Girlss State. You do a nice job of setting up your expectations and then pivoting (at a delta momentis that what Prof. D called it?) to your actual experience. Youre at your best when you offer specifics, as you start to do when you name the Swamp Squad, the Crockerdile citizens, and the Swamp. But even here (as well as throughout the essay) theres room for more specificity. What did the Swamp look like? What crimes did people commit? Help create a vivid picture for your reader. Details make your story your own; they help it come to life. When you revise, keep building the reflective portion of your essay. Are negative preconceptions the only obstacle to your willingness to learn? Whats the relationship between academic learning and non-academic learning? You write in the final sentence that you couldnt have learned more about yourself. Can you give us the specifics? (What all did you learn about yourself?) Finally, how might this experience shape your thinking about what it means to be educated, or about your outlook on Georgetown? How will you make the most of your four years here? You have a strong and clear narrative voice. I look forward to working with youand to seeing how that voice tackles all kinds of writingthis semester. Emmett