Ive known many dogs of character, Each more forceful than the last, Ascending in order of manipulative intelligence

to the ultimate experience that is Toby. If you fancy yourself as a pack leader to a cowering and adoring hound Forget it. e is so vast in si!e and sheer psychological insight into human nature That all you can hope for Is a permanently evolving negotiated settlement That does not involve too much loss of face and screaming "# $T $% A&' (IE ')*&+, This is humiliating, 'emeaning to our sensitive, finely-attuned nervous-systems, And puts us in our place. *e are reduced to cattle. e remains unmoved. e has got what he wants And we wonder how we allowed ourselves to be manipulated once again. For he has only to wait and things will "normalise,, as he puts it, And he will be in charge again. 'on.t get me wrong, I am a ruthless, highly experienced dog-person *ho knows it is always the fault of the owner when dogs go wrong. I have rules, I am not ashamed to admit it, And rules must be obeyed. /ut with Toby I get the uneasy impression that they are I# rules, And I am implementing them to achieve his ends. *ith the uncanny advantage of being so beautiful that he is fre0uently kidnapped, e becomes glamorous. #o when he decides to seduce you, you.d better watch out. e will wait until you are on the sofa so that he towers above you when he sits down. Then he will gently place his head on your breast, 1a!e at you lovingly and waft his fan-dancer.s tail. And you will be so captivated by this amorous proposal 2ou will not notice he has eaten your cake.
(from DOGGEREL by E. J. Ward)