HANSEL & GRETEL and THE BIG WOODS

(c) 2005 Jeannette Jaquish Offered for free performance use by J. Jaquish, if she is notified: www.theaterfunscripts.com . READER HAN E! "RE#E! #E$%O% &A#HER '(#)H E!& * + ,ossy E!& - . me//y E!& 0. #witchy E!& 1 . )/umsy E!& 2 . Narco/epty E!& 3 . 'hiny E!& 4. NEE56 + Actions but no /ines &A(R6 DO" %O#HER &A(R6 &RO" %O#HER (PROPS: Big pot, potato & carrot, 2 hankies for Sneezy. Dogs & Frogs an!s optiona".# .......................................................... READER: Once upon a time, a /on7 /on7 time a7o, there /i8ed a brother and sister named Hanse/ and "rete/. HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: HAN E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: READER: 6es, ;ust as ( said. #hey /i8ed in a cotta7e in the woods with.. HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: READER: Enou7h: #hey /i8ed in a cotta7e in the woods with their father who /o8ed them 8ery much, and their stepmother who had her sanity to consider. #E$%O% : Husband: 6our chi/dren are dri8in7 me cra<y. (9m Hanse/: (9m "rete/: #a=e them into the woods and /ea8e them:

&A#HER : ,ut they9// 7et hun7ry. #E$%O% : Don9t worry. A nice witch wi// feed them 7in7erbread. &A#HER : Oh. #hey /i=e 7in7erbread. O>: )ome on =ids: READER: o the stereotypica//y c/ue/ess father too= Hanse/ and "rete/ far far away and /eft them. Howe8er, he made one mista=e. (nstead of ta=in7 them out into the 'OOD ... "RE#E!: 'hy did Daddy /ea8e us in the weeds? HAN E!: Ow: (t9s a// stic=ery. READER: Hanse/ and "rete/ stood around in the pric=/y stic=/y weeds waitin7 for their father. "RE#E!: Ow: HAN E!: Ow: "RE#E!: Ow: HAN E!: Ow: READER: &ina//y, "rete/ rea/i<ed he was not comin7 bac=. "RE#E!: Daddy is not comin7 bac=: How wi// we find our way bac= to our house? HAN E!: !oo=, it9s ri7ht o8er there. 6ou can see it: READER: o they wa/=ed home and ;umped on the couch and 7ot stic=ers a// o8er it. ($%&P'()# HAN E!: (9m Hanse/: Hanse/: Hanse/: "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: "rete/: "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/: Hanse/: Hanse/: and "rete/: "rete/: "rete/:: READER: #heir stepmother heard the noise and came out to see. #E$%O%: Ohhhh, they9re bac=. READER: #heir stepmother had a sp/ittin7 headache when she ca//ed her husband. #E$%O% : HA ,AND: &A#HER: 6es, dear? READER: he to/d him where to ta=e those noisy chi/dren.

#E$%O% : #a=e those noisy chi/dren o8er the hi// and deep into the forest and /ea8e them: &A#HER : ,ut they9// 7et hun7ry. #E$%O% : Don9t worry. e8en /itt/e dwar8es wi// feed them. &A#HER : Oh. #hey9d /i=e that. O>: )ome on, =ids: (S*+P&O*,+R +-'*S. F.*,+R "ea!s ,&) thro/gh the a/!ience. 0%R*.'( 01OS+S 2 change set.# READER: o their father too= them ooooooooo8er the hi// ... and throu7h twisted, scary trees.. past the dens of hideous, sme//y, unsuper8ised creatures, who watched them as they passed (chi"!ren "ook at a/!ience fearf/""y#..... to a c/earin7. #heir father patted them on the head, and 7a8e them some words of wisdom. &A#HER: ay he//o to nee<y for me. ,ye =ids: (+-'*S# READER: #heir father headed home wishin7 HE was 7oin7 to ha8e 7in7erbread for brea=fast. &A#HER: %mmm... 7in7erbread. READER: Hanse/ and "rete/ stood around as the forest 7ot dar=er and dar=er. HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/. (pa/se# READER: Ni7ht fe//. (t was co/d and dar=. #he chi/dren had to s/eep on the 7round. #he cric=ets chirped. (+"3es 4ake so/n! F-.# #he ow/s hooted. #he moon came out. #he wo/8es how/ed. &ina//y it was mornin7. "rete/ shoo= Hanse/ awa=e. "RE#E!: Hanse/, it9s mornin7. HAN E!: (9m hun7ry. 'hat9s for brea=fast? '(#)H (entering# : 6ou are: Heee Heee Hee Hee: Oh, ( mean you de/icious, ( mean dar/in7, chi/dren are HAB(N" brea=fast with me: READER: Hanse/ and "rete/ introduced themse/8es. HAN E!: Hi: (9m Hanse/.

"RE#E!: Hi: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: '(#)H : And (9m a nice o/d /ady. %y house is o8er here... throu7h those trees.... HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: '(#)H : Enou7h: 'a/= this way... (5'*0, a"ks 6ent o3er7 ,.(S+1 & )R+*+1 a"k "ike her to her 8ho/se9 6ack at center stage.# READER: #he nice o/d /ady was rea//y a wic=ed witch who /i=ed to eat chi/dren. he too= them into her house. "rete/ /oo=ed around. "RE#E!: ( thou7ht you wou/d ha8e a 7in7erbread house. '(#)H : Oh, the property taCes on that thin7 were =i//in7 me: READER: Hanse/ was 7ettin7 hun7rier so he as=ed a7ain: HAN E!: 'hat9s for brea=fast? '(#)H : omethin7 de/icious, but first you must wash up. READER: #he witch in8ited them to hop into a bi7 pot of hot water. he said: '(#)H : crub a dub a dub, into the tub: "RE#E!: 'hy are there carrots and potatoes and ce/ery... HAN E!: f/oatin7 in the bathtub? '(#)H : Oh, hee hee hee hee. #hose are bath toys: READER: o Hanse/ and "rete/, who ne8er were the bri7htest cand/es on the ca=e, hopped into the pot. (,.(S+1 & )R+*+1 r/6 3egeta6"es /n!er ar4s an! 6ack of neck "ike soap.# HAN E!: p/ash sp/ash sp/ash. !oo= "rete/, my potato is a submarine. $in7 pin7 pin7. "RE#E!: !oo= Hanse/, my carrot is a torpedo: >a.b/oosh: READER: #he witch added some sa/t and spices. "RE#E!: 'hat are you sprin=/in7 on us?

'(#)H : Just some bath sa/ts. Hee hee hee... "RE#E!: Oh: (Sp"ash sp"ash sp"ash# READER: #here was a =noc= at the door. '(#)H : 'ho9s there? (+"3es 4arch in singing a 4arching chant.# E!& *: ( don9t =now but (98e been to/d: E!BE : !eprechauns 7ot pots of 7o/d. E!& *: ,ut do not 7rab one by the /e7. E!BE : #heir feet sme// /i=e rotten e77: E!& *: One, two and three, four: E!BE : "uess who9s =noc=in7 at the door: E!& *: &i8e, siC and se8en, ei7ht: E!BE : Dwar8es don9t /i=e their supper /ate: E!& *: ound off E!BE : One two: E!& *: ound off E!BE : #hree &our E!& *: ound off E!BE : &i8e iC . . e8en Dwar8es: (+"f : stops, 2 & ; stops, < crashes into the4, re6o/n!s 6ack an! a"" fa"". +"f : =/4ps /p.# E!& *: Attention: (+"3es =/4p to attention.# $/eased to meet you: (9m ,ossy: E!& -: (9m me//y. E!& 0: (9m #witchy. E!& 1: (9m )/umsy. E!& 2: (9m Narco/ep......ty. E!& 3: (9m 'hiny. E!& 4: (9m.. (9m... (9m... Aaaachoo: (Sneezes on other ! ar3es ho fa"".# E!& *: And he9s + E!BE : NEE56::: ( +"3es =/4p /p.# E!& *: 'e9re here to wish you a 7ood day: E!& -: 'e /i8e in a cotta7e down the way. E!& 0: 'e were ;ust passin7 by when we came under the spe//, E!& 1: Of a most de/icious, bewitchin7 sme//. E!& 2: Of cinnamon, fin7ers and mar7arine, E!& 3: o if you don9t mind, may we come in?

'(#)H : 6ou are in: READER: Hanse/ ;umped up and ho//ered. HAN E!: Hey: nee<y: NEE56: Aaaachoo: (5ipes nose ith hanky an! a3es it.# HAN E!: %y dad says hi: READER: #he se8en dwar8es were rea/ moochers: (+1>+S search front ro of a/!ience.# #hey started scroun7in7 around for somethin7 to eat. #hey hadn9t had a hot mea/ since now 'hite married the Handsome $rince and mo8ed away. ,ut a// they found were hideous 7ar7oy/es: A!! E!BE (face to face ith a/!ience#: EEEEE>: (+1>+S r/n 6ack to stage.# READER: #hat caused some confusion. And instead of findin7 food they found: E!& *: pider /e7s in the cupboard: E!& -: &ro7 ton7ues in the refri7erator: E!& 0: %on=ey ears in the toaster: E!& 1: Rabbit teeth in the candy dish: E!& 2: Hissin7 coc=roaches in the coo=ie ;ar: E!& 3: u7ar/ess candy corn: A!! E!BE : u7ar/ess candy corn??? ,/ecch: E!& *: 'hy do peop/e buy that stuff? READER: ,ut the dwar8es =new they sme//ed somethin7 7ood. #hey fo//owed their noses unti/ they found... (+1>+S go to 6oth si!es of pot.# E!& *: A bi7 pot of soup: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: oup? 'here? (9m hun7ry: A!! E!BE : )hi/dren oup: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: Eeeeee=: READER: #he dwar8es tried to rescue the chi/dren. Anfortunate/y they weren9t 8ery or7ani<ed. (D ar3es preten! to p/"" on 6oth ar4s of chi"!ren, "eft, right, "eft, right.#

READER: ,ut they on/y made it worse. #he dwar8es ye//ed for the chi/dren to 7et out: E!& -: "et out of that soup pot: E!& 0: #hat witch wants to coo= and eat you: READER: ,ut the chi/dren had been in the hot water too /on7. "RE#E! ( iping 6ro #: (9m me/tin7..... HAN E!: %e tooooo.... (,.(S+1 & )R+*+1 faint o3er e!ge of pot# READER: Hanse/ and "rete/ fainted in the hot water: And it was 7ettin7 hotter: #he dwar8es tried to /ift them out. E!& *: *, -, 0, !ift: READER: ,ut the witched f/apped her arms and ye//ed: '(#)H : top that ri7ht now: READER: #he /eader of the E/8es was 8ery bra8e: E!& * (in her face#: !et them 7o you mean o/9 witch: '(#)H : 6OA /et them 7o or (9// turn you a// into dwarf hamsters. HAN E!: Dwarf hamsters are so cute....... '(#)H : ,ite.si<e dwarf hamsters. 6um. A!! E!BE (=/4ping 6ack#: Eeee=: READER: #he E/8es /et 7o: #hey were afraid to be turned into hamsters. #heir /eader had an idea. he to/d "rete/: E!& *: "rete/: )a// on your &airy "odmother: A!! E!BE : "rete/: "rete/: 'a=e.up: E!& *: "rete/: )a// on your fairy "odmother: A!! E!BE : "rete/: "rete/: 'a=e.up: "RE#E! (groggy#:)a//in7 &airy Do7 %other...

READER: (n a b/indin7 f/ash of /i7ht there appeared: DO" ("eaping onto stage#: 'oof: E!& *: 'hat are you? DO": "rete/9s &airy Do7 %other: E!& *: No No: "rete/: )a// on your &airy "OD %O#HER: "RE#E!: )a//in7 &airy &ro7 %other.... READER: And with another b/indin7 f/ash of /i7ht: &RO" ("eaping onto stage#: >ribbit: E!& *: 'hat are you? &RO": "rete/9s &airy &ro7 %other: E!& *: No No: "rete/: )a// on your &airy "OD %O#HER: "RE#E!: nore: READER: "rete/9s snorin7 shoo= the house: E!& 1: he9s as/eep: E!& 2: he can9t ca// anyone: E!& 1: How about Hanse/? )ou/d HE ca// H( &airy "od %other? E!& 2: He wou/d probab/y ca// his &airy Hamster %other: A!! E!BE (no!!ing#: 6eah.... READER ( a"king across stage gest/ring#: #his /oo=s bad: Hanse/ and "rete/ are a/most 7ra8y and instead of a fairy 7odmother, we ha8e a &airy Do7 %other... DO": 'oof: READER: ... and a &airy &ro7 %other: &RO": >ribbit: READER: (t /oo=s /i=e there wi// be no happy endin7 to this story. #he e/8es burst into

tears. A!! E!BE : ,oo.hoo.hoo.hoo: E!& 3: #his is terrib/e, terrib/e, terrib/e: READER: #he &airy Do7 and &airy &ro7 %others /oo=ed at each other. &RO" : 'e// this is a pretty mess: DO": 6ou said it, 'onder 'arts. ( 7uess it9s up to us. &RO": Ri7ht you are, %a7ica/ %utt. Do you =now what to do? DO": ure do. !et9s ro//: (DO) & FRO) ro"".# READER: #he &airy Do7 %other cast a spe// on the 'ic=ed 'itch 7i8in7 her f/eas and a//er7ies. DO" ( a3ing pa s#: &/ee<us. nee<us: (shakes# '(#)H : Ha ha: Do7 ma7ic? (sarcastic# Oh, (9m sooo afraid: Ha ha ha:. oD soD soD (tchy: (tchy: (tchy: Aaachoo: Aaachoo: (S(++?@ han!s a hanky to the 5itch ho 6"o s a rasp6erry into it an! tries to han! it 6ack.# NEE56: 6uc=: ( S(++?@ =/4ps 6ack in !isg/st an! the 5itch !rops it on the f"oor.# READER: #he &airy &ro7 %other hopped o8er to the pot and said these ma7ic words: &RO": Hoppus $/oppus toppus: READER: he hopped into the pot sp/ashin7 Hanse/ and "rete/ out in a hu7e tida/ wa8e: (FRO) =/4ps in A ,.(S+1 & )R+*+1 =/4p o/t. +1>+S fa"" !o n in the ti!a" a3e.# READER: #he dwar8es cheered: A!! E!BE : 6ay: *, -, 0 .. "o &airy &ro7: >ribbit >ribbit >ribbit: "o &airy Do7: 'oof 'oof 'oof: READER: #he 'ic=ed 'itch ran off to ;ump in the ri8er to drown her f/eas.... '(#)H: Oh, (9m so itchy itchy itchy... (+-'*#

READER: and Hanse/ and "rete/ reco8ered from their soup induced heat stro=e. #hey introduced themse/8es to the e/8es. HAN E!: Hi: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: Hi: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: E!& * : Hi: 'e9re the se8en dwar8es. E!& -: 6ou mi7ht ha8e heard of us in the story of now 'hite. E!& 0: Once upon a time a /on7 time a7o... HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: E!& *, - @ 0 : Enou7h: READER: #he E/8es showed Hanse/ and "rete/ the way home. (*ra3e" into a/!ience or aro/n! stage.# HAN E!: (9m Hanse/. "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: (on an! on an! on# (+1>+S ha3e han!s o3er ears an! 4oaning.# READER: #he E/8es cou/dn9t 7et rid of Hanse/ and "rete/ fast enou7h. ()o to ,o4e area. +ach +"f pa/ses to speak.# E!& *: O>: Here is your house: "ood bye: E!& -: 'hat an ordea/: (+1>+S +-'*.# E!& 0: ( thou7ht they wou/d ne8er stop ya==in7: E!& 1: #hey ne8er did: E!& 2: %y ears are =i//in7 me: E!& 3: %y ears are bi77er than yours so mine are =i//in7 me more: NEE56 : Aaachoo: (searches pocket for hanky 6/t cant fin! it so 6"o s rasp6erry on 6ack of +"f Bs shirt.# E!& 3: Hey: 'hat9s 7oin7 on bac= there: (+1>+S +-'* or sit at front of a/!ience.# READER: Hanse/ was sad to see them 7o:

HAN E!: ,ye, nee<y: 6ou are my fa8orite: READER: 'hen their father came out the door, he was 8ery happy to see them (.11 h/g.# and 8ery sorry he had /eft them in the forest. He ca//ed to his wife: &A#HER: Honey, the =ids are home: #E$%O% (+(*+R'()# : Oh, no: HAN E!: Remember us? (9m Hanse/: "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: HAN E!: (9m Hanse/: "RE#E!: (9m "rete/: HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/.. &A#HER : Enou7h: top sayin7 the same thin7 o8er and o8er. 6ou are dri8in7 us cra<y: "RE#E!: O=, Daddy: 'ou/d you /i=e to ta/= about bio/o7y, instead? HAN E!: Or architecture? #E$%O% : Oh, ( /o8e bio/o7y and architecture: !et9s 7o down to the pond and catch fro7s and bui/d sandcast/es: (S*+P&O&, ,.(S+1 & )R+*+1, go to si!e, panto4i4e.# "RE#E!: (9m ma=in7 a princess cast/e. #E$%O%: #he archway is 8ery 7racefu/. HAN E!: (9m ma=in7 my dun7eon first. #E$%O%: (t is 8ery deep. 6ou are doin7 a 7ood ;ob. READER: And then a ma7ica/ thin7 happened. 'hen the yammerin7 stopped, their stepmother ma7ica//y turned into a /o8in7 carin7 person. (t was ma7ic. &A#HER: No.... ( don9t thin= that was ma7ic. READER ("ifts ar4#: And they a// /i8ed... (.0*ORS r/n onstage. Rea!er c/es the4:# (R+.D+R !rops ar4:# A!!: ..Happi/y e8er after: HAN E!: (9m Hanse/: "RE#E!: (9m "rete/:

HAN E! @ "RE#E!: 'e9re Hanse/ and "rete/: A!!: Enou7h:::: #he End: ............................... Author9s Notes: Hanse/ and "rete/ say E(9m Hanse/. (9m "rete/.... on and on unti/ someone says EEnou7h:F (f actors for7et /ines, Reader can prompt them by sayin7, for eCamp/e: EHanse/ said, ERemember us?..F Reader prompts them as if it was written in the story + ;ust the be7innin7 of the /ine is usua//y enou7h .. and as soon as the actor catches on and says their /ine, the Reader is quiet. 'hen &ather ta=es Hanse/ and "rete/ into the 'oods, he can ta=e them out into the audience. ,i7 $ot need not be a pot. )an be painted @ cut cardboard mounted on a stand or onto a bi7 cardboard boC. Asin7 rea/ potato and carrot is easiest. #he potato wi// ser8e day after day, but carrots wi/t by neCt day if not refri7erated.

JA)>(E AND #HE )H(!E #A!> ,y D. %. ,oca<.!arson

)opyri7ht G -HH2 A// Ri7hts Reser8edI

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Before performing this script, you must first request permission at pocolocoplayers@yahoo.com or http://www.geocities.com/pocolocoplayers/request.html The script may be printed and copied for free. If you decide to perform the play and charge admission, the requirements are below: 1. All programs, posters, etc. should have the author's name (D. M. Bocaz-Larson) and something that tells about the Freedrama.com website such as "Produced by special arrangement with www.freedrama.com". When you complete the production, mail a copy of the program to the royalty address listed below. 2. There is a $20 royalty for using the play for up to two performances. If you perform the play three or more times, the royalty is just $10 per performance. The royalty payment must be sent via http://www.paypal.com. Or you may send a check to: D. M. Bocaz-Larson, 1721 Encino Ave., Grants, NM 87020. Please no purchase orders. NOTE: The play may not be reproduced or published in any form without written permission from the author. Thank you for selecting my script. I hope you enjoy it. Sincerely, D. M. Bocaz-Larson

#(%E and $!A)E

!on7 a7o in a /itt/e pueb/o outside O/d A/buquerque

)A # O& )HARA)#ER

B(EJO: An o/d man who te//s the story of Jac=ie and the )hi/esta/=

JA)>(E: A youn7 7ir/ who /o8es )hi/es

%A%A: Jac=ieJs mother

)O': A cow named Bacita that is so/d to B(EJO Kthis actor has no /ines but needs to ha8e 7ood eCpressionsL

"(AN#: Not rea//y a 7iant but rea//y ta//. Kactor can either be a ta// =id or adu/t + 7uitar p/ayin7 s=i//s he/pfu/ but recordin7 can be usedL

JA)>: A bratty boy who sto/e the "OO E who /ays 7o/den e77s.

"OO E: !ays 7o/den e77s and on/y says Mhon=N

)ENE *

K#he bac=7round is a southwest nature scene with red mesas and b/ue s=y in the bac=7round. #his can either be painted nice or /i=e somethin7 out of a Road Runner cartoonL

B(EJO (n a dry and dusty pueb/o, there /i8ed a /itt/e 7ir/ named Jac=ie who /o8ed chi/es.

JA)>(E K)arries her bas=et of chi/esL #he hotter the better.

B(EJO he cou/dnJt resist the sme// of roasted chi/e. he /o8ed har8est time because she new the roastin7 time was near.

JA)>(E %ama, %ama. ( pic=ed some chi/es. )an we roast them now?

%A%A (s that a// we ha8e?

JA)>(E (Jm afraid so.

%A%A (tJs been a bad year for a// the crops. #hereJs not much of anythin7. K)O' wanders in and /oo=s around for foodL

JA)>(E No beans?

%A%A No beans.

JA)>(E

No carrots?

%A%A No carrots.

JA)>(E No peas?

%A%A No peas.

JA)>(E "ood. ( hate peas.

%A%A Just a few chi/es.

JA)>(E #hatOs a// ( /i=e anyway.

%A%A ,ut this wi// on/y be enou7h for one stew. 'hat wi// we do after that?

JA)>(E 'e cou/d eat the cow. K)O' stops and /oo=s scared. tarts to snea= outL

%A%A NoP K)O' stops and si7hs with re/iefL 'eO// se// her insteadL K)O' /oo=s upset and starts to snea= out a7ainL )ome here, Bacita. K)O' sha=es her head noL

JA)>(E K"rabs )O'L 'here do ( ta=e her?

%A%A #o the o/d man on in the 8i//a7e.

JA)>(E #he cra<y o/d man?

%A%A

HeOs not cra<y. Just a /itt/e /oco.

JA)>(E !oco means cra<y, %ama.

%A%A Just 7et 7oin7 and 7et somethin7 7ood for the cow.

JA)>(E !etOs 7o Bacita. K)O' moos in protest. %A%A eCitsL

B(EJO And thatOs when Jac=ie appeared at my door. KB(EJO can ro// in a door or stand readyL

JA)>(E "et o8er here, Bacita. K$u//s )O' to B(EJO and =noc=sL

B(EJO Ho/a, hi;a. How can ( he/p you?

JA)>(E enor, we ha8e no food eCcept for a few chi/es. 'e must se// our cow.

B(EJO ( wi// buy your cow. K#a=es )O' and scratches behind her ear and sheOs happyL

JA)>(E #han= you, senor.

B(EJO ( ha8e somethin7 youO// en;oy. )hi/es. KHands JA)>(E a shiny c/oth ba7 made of a ma7ica/ /oo=in7 materia/L

JA)>(E )hi/es? ,ut we a/ready ha8e chi/es.

B(EJO ,ut these are ma7ic chi/es.

JA)>(E %a7ic chi/es?

B(EJO #hey wi// 7i8e you more wonderfu/ thin7s than you can e8er ima7ine.

JA)>(E ( can ima7ine some pretty 7ood thin7s.

B(EJO #a=e them to your mother and a// wi// be 7ood a7ain on your rancho.

JA)>(E #han= you. "ood.bye, Bacita. K)O' stic=s her ton7ue out at JA)>(EL

B(EJO Jac=ie ran eCcited/y bac= to her %ama to te// her the news of the ma7ic chi/es.

JA)>(E %ama, %ama. !oo= at what ( 7ot:

%A%A A /itt/e ba7? ( hope thatOs not it.

JA)>(E

No, inside are ma7ic chi/es. K$u//s out chi/esL

%A%A %a7ic chi/es?

JA)>(E #he o/d man said they wou/d ma=e our dreams come true.

%A%A Dreams wonOt feed us, Jac=ie. ( canOt be/ie8e the cra<y o/d bandito wou/d do this to us: K#a=es chi/esL

JA)>(E %ama, no: K%A%A tosses chi/es to DR sta7eL

%A%A "o to your room and donOt come out unti/ ( 7et bac= from the o/d manJs.

JA)>(E 'hat are you 7oin7 to do?

%A%A (Om 7oin7 to 7et our cow bac=. KECitsL

JA)>(E Oh, %ama. (Om so sorry. KJA)>(E cries and cur/s up on the f/oorL

B(EJO ,ut ( did not /ie to the /itt/e 7ir/. #hose chi/es were ma7ic and whi/e Jac=ie s/ept, a most ama<in7 thin7 happened: K!i7hts fade and ma7ic panish music is heard. %oon/i7ht hits DR and then a rumb/e sound and a chi/esta/= rises to from the 7round. NO#E: 6ou can sta7e this in a 8ariety of ways. Ha8e a rope from the cei/in7 that pu//s up the chi/esta/= or ha8e a drawin7 on the bac=7round that is unco8ered from the bottom up. #he sound wa=es JA)>(EL

B(EJO 'hen Jac=ie wa=es, she sees a most ama<in7 thin7. A 7iant chi/esta/=.

JA)>(E K he risesL (s that... itOs a... 7iant chi/esta/=: K he ;umps up and down eCcitedL #hose chi/es are ma7ic: %a7ic: %a7ic: %a7ic:

B(EJO #o/d you so.

JA)>(E K!oo=s upL (tOs so ta//. ( bet ( can see A/buquerque from up there.

B(EJO )/imb up and see.

JA)>(E ( thin= ( wi//.

B(EJO 6ou wonOt be sorry.

K%a7ica/ panish music a7ain. JA)>(E c/imbs the chi/esta/=. NO#E: #his can be done with a hidden /adder behind the chi/esta/= or JA)>(E can eCit behind the scenery of the chi/esta/=. !i7hts fade to b/ac=. cene chan7e to "(AN#Os home. #he entrance to the home can be ro//ed in or the bac=7round can be chan7edL

JA)>(E K"ets off chi/esta/=L 'here am (? (s this A/buquerque?

B(EJO No, this wasnOt A/buquerque. Jac=ie had arri8ed at a 7iantOs casa in the c/ouds.

JA)>(E #hatOs a bi7 door. ( wonder who /i8es here?

"(AN# KOff. ,i7 boomin7 8oiceL Ay yi di me: (s it a f/ea? )omin7 to 8isit me?

JA)>(E K caredL 'ho is that? (t sounds /i=e a 7iant. KHidesL

"(AN# KEnters. He is ;ust rea//y ta//. Opens doorL 'hat can it be? 'hatOs this ( see? A beansta/= at my door. ,ut what is it for?

JA)>(E Actua//y itOs a chi/esta/=.

"(AN# 'ho are you? And whatOs that do?

JA)>(E #hatOs a ma7ic chi/esta/= that brou7ht me here.

"(AN# )hi/e? )hi/e? #hatOs so si//y.

JA)>(E Hey, are you the 7iant that scared e8eryone away from our pueb/o?

"(AN# 6es, but ( didnOt mean to. ( went down /oo=in7 for somethin7 to do. (t 7ets so /one/y up here. No one e/se /i8es near. One day there was this bi7 beansta/= and wanted to stay around the c/oc=. ,ut some boy has sto/e my 7oose and he said ( was a monster on the /oose. (O8e been a/one e8er since. ,ecause a monster that ma=es peop/e wince.

JA)>(E 6ouOre no monster. And ( =now which boy youOre ta/=in7 about. Jac=.

"(AN# Jac=. 6es, Jac=. #hatOs the one who attac=ed.

JA)>(E

'e//, ( thin= we need to pay Jac= a 8isit.

"(AN# ,ut he scares me. One si7ht of him and ( f/ee.

JA)>(E DonJt worry. 6ou wait here. (O// 7o 7et that Jac= and weO// 7et a// your stuff bac=.

"(AN# Oh, than= you, but it wonOt do. %y fami/y sto/e that 7uitar and 7oose too.

JA)>(E 'e//, two wron7s donOt ma=e a ri7ht. &ine, we wonOt stea/ it bac= but Jac= needs to /earn a /esson.

"(AN# 'ait, thereOs sti// a ma7ic 7uitar. He hasnOt come and ta=en that so far. K"(AN# 7oes to 7et itL

JA)>(E A ma7ic 7uitar? K panish 7uitar music is heard as "(AN# entersL )oo/. 'hat does it do?

"(AN# (t can ma=e peop/e do whate8er you want too. And it wi// do any son7 for you.

JA)>(E o why not te// it to brin7 your 7oose bac=?

"(AN# ( 7uess ( cou/d. ( didnOt =now if it wou/d.

JA)>(E 'hy wou/dnJt it?

"(AN# (t canOt do anythin7 to ma=e peop/e unhappy. (t wi// on/y ma=e happiness.

JA)>(E ( see. o e8en if it ma=es you happy, it wi// ma=e Jac= sad. ,ut Jac= doesnOt deser8e to be happy.

"(AN# #he 7uitar doesnOt care. (t sti// wonOt thin= itOs fair.

JA)>(E o the tric= is to =eep Jac= happy and 7et the 7oose.

K"ets an ideaL Ha: ( 7ot it. $/ay the 7uitar. #e// it to brin7 Jac= and the 7oose here.

"(AN# #his ( wi// try to do. ( hope it wi// p/ay for you. K panish 7uitar music starts to p/ayL (t /oo=s /i=e it is p/ayin7. (t /i=es what youOre sayin7.

JA)>(E )ome Jac=: )ome 7oose. 'e ha8e a /itt/e somethin7 for you.

JA)> KAppears at the top of the chi/esta/=L ( heard the most beautifu/ music and ( had to see where it was comin7 from. And then ( saw this beansta/=...

JA)>(E )hi/esta/=.

JA)> 'hate8er. K"OO E appears at the top of the sta/=L 'hat are you doin7 here? ( to/d you to stay home.

"OO E Hon=. KDrops a 7o/den e77L

JA)> ee, youOre /ea8in7 e77s a// o8er the p/ace now.

JA)>(E K$ic=s up a 7o/den e77L 'ow, is this rea//y 7o/d?

JA)> 6eap. (O8e 7ot a mi//ion of them.

JA)>(E Neat. K"OO E runs up to "(AN# who pats her headL

JA)> K#a=es e77L Hands off. #hatOs mine.

JA)>(E

,ut you said you ha8e mi//ion of them.

JA)> o? 6ou can ne8er ha8e too much 7o/d.

JA)>(E )anOt you share? K panish 7uitar musicL

JA)> 'e//, maybe this one. KHands it o8er to JA)>(EL Dan7, why did ( do that?

"(AN# (tOs the 7uitar p/ayin7. (t can chan7e what youOre sayin7.

JA)> Oh, /oo=. (tOs the /itt/e 7iant. %iss your 7oose?

"(AN# ( miss her so much.

JA)>(E !oo=s /i=e she misses you too.

JA)> 'e// you canOt ha8e her bac=. KJA)> 7rabs "OO EL

"OO E Hon=.

JA)>(E ,ut you sto/e her.

JA)> And his fami/y sto/e her before ( did. (t doesnOt be/on7 to them either.

JA)>(E HeOs 7ot a point. ,ut that doesnOt ma=e what you did ri7ht. 'e shou/d 7i8e the 7oose bac= to her owner.

JA)> And who wou/d that be?

"(AN#

( donOt =now who it be. %y fami/y ne8er to/d me.

JA)> &inders =eepers.

JA)>(E 6ou didnOt find her. 6ou sto/e her.

K%A%A c/imbs to top of chi/esta/= with B(EJOL

B(EJO Here they are.

%A%A Jac=ie:

JA)>(E %ama: KRuns to herL (Om so sorry about the chi/es.

%A%A No, (Om sorry for bein7 mad. #hese chi/es were ma7ic.

B(EJO No one e8er be/ie8es me.

JA)> Hey, youOre that o/d 7uy who so/d me those beans. ( suppose youO// want a cut of my profits.

"OO E Hon=. K!ays an e77L

JA)> K$ic=s up e77 and tosses it to B(EJOL Here. >eep the chan7e. B(EJO #oo bad you arenOt this nice to e8eryone.

JA)> (tOs my 7oose now so ( 7et a// the e77s.

%A%A (s that you, "oosie?

JA)>(E "oosie?

%A%A K"oes up and hu7s "OO EL (t is you:

JA)> #his is your 7oose?

JA)>(E 'hen did you ha8e a 7oose, %ama?

%A%A 'hen ( was a /itt/e 7ir/, the o/d man so/d my fami/y a 7oose. (t was a ma7ic 7oose that...

"OO E Hon=: K!ays an e77L

%A%A KHo/ds up e77L .../aid 7o/den e77s:

B(EJO #o/d you so.

%A%A ,ut then a 7iant came and too= it.

"(AN# (t was not me. (t was Anc/e mee. He was rea//y bad. orry it made you mad.

%A%A ( ne8er thou7ht (Od see her a7ain.

JA)>(E !oo=s /i=e we found the owner.

JA)> KRuns to chi/esta/=L &ine. >eep your 7oose but youO// ne8er 7et to en;oy it. ,ecause (Om c/imbin7 down and cuttin7 this sta/= down and trappin7 you here fore8er.

JA)>(E #he 7uitar. top him:

"(AN# (t wonOt p/ay (Om afraid to say.

JA)> ,ut if you 7i8e me the 7oose, then ( wonOt cut it down.

%A%A 'hat a horrib/e /itt/e boy you are.

JA)> ,ut (Om a horrib/y rich /itt/e boyP KHo/ds out handL )ome /itt/e "oose. M'ith our combined stren7th, we can end this destructi8e conf/ict and brin7 order to the 7a/aCy.N K tarts breathin7 hea8i/y /i=e Darth Bader and then cou7hsL JA)>(E 'hatJs wron7?

JA)> A /itt/e asthma. orry about that. K%adL Now, 7et o8er here "oose or (O// destroy them a//.

"OO E K caredL Hon=.

JA)> )ome with me. (tOs your destiny:

%A%A $/ease, 7oosie. tay with me. 'e mi7ht be trapped here but (O// ta=e care of you a7ain.

JA)> ( ta=e care of her... sometimes.

"OO E K ha=es her head noL Hon=.

JA)> &ine. tay here. ( ha8e enou7h 7o/d to /ast a /ifetime. K"o toward chi/esta/=. )ou7hs and snee<es and mo8es awayL Oh, man. ( thin= (Om a//er7ic to chi/es. K"oes near chi/esta/= a7ain and snee<es. %o8es awayL

JA)>(E !oo=s /i=e youOre stuc= here.

JA)> "ot any a//er7y medicine?

"(AN# No, ( donOt ha8e much to he/p you. 'ait, maybe thereOs somethin7 ( can do. K"A(#AR p/ays and JA)>Os snee<in7 stopsL

B(EJO #he ma7ic 7uitar can ma=e it a// better.

JA)> (tOs 7reat a//er7y medicine... K6awnsL Dan7... a//er7y medicine a/ways ma=es me s/eepy. K its down and fa//s as/eepL

JA)>(E 'e did it. #he 7oose is free.

%A%A

'ou/d you /i=e to come home with us?

"OO E KHappyL Hon=.

JA)>(E (s that o=ay?

"(AN# Of course thatOs what you shou/d do. %y fami/y sto/e it from you.

JA)>(E #han= you.

%A%A !etOs 7o home, 7oosie. K"OO E and %A%A 7o down chi/esta/=L

JA)>(E (tOs so nice to see, %ama happy a7ain.

"(AN#

And now ( can see what wi// ma=e my fami/y happy.

JA)>(E 'hatOs that?

"(AN# A /itt/e ta/= with the boy of the sta/=.

JA)>(E 'hat wi// they do to him? #hey wonOt hurt him wi// they?

"(AN# 'hen he was here before, he not on/y bro=e our door but made messes on our f/oor and dama7ed the dQcor. He wi// stay for a few days. He has some time he needs to repay.

JA)>(E And hopefu//y /earn somethin7 in the process.

B(EJO And he wonOt be too happy when he 7ets home either.

JA)>(E 'hy not?

B(EJO #hereOs nothin7 worse than rotten 7o/den e77s. #he boy ne8er /earned that the 7o/den e77s are on/y 7ood when fresh. #he 7o/d is on/y 7ood if it is shared. (f anyone =eeps it too /on7, it rots.

JA)>(E $oor Jac=.

B(EJO ( fee/ worse for his nei7hbors.

JA)>(E ( 7uess itOs time to 7o home. And it wi// be a much happier one this time.

B(EJO Just remember to share those e77s.

JA)>(E ( wi//. K"i8es an e77 to the "(AN#. #hey hu7L "ood.bye my friend. (Om so 7/ad ( found those ma7ic chi/es.

B(EJO %e too. Down the chi/esta/= with you.

"(AN# )ome Jac= into my home and (O// 7et the fami/y on the phone. K"(AN# dra7s JA)> into the casa and eCitsL

B(EJO And so Jac= c/eaned and c/eaned unti/ the )asa in the )/ouds was as 7ood as before he came and sto/e the 7oose. #he 7iant fami/y then returned him home where he had another mess to c/ean up. And Jac=ie and her %ama found new happiness with the "oose and the 7o/den e77s and that happiness spread throu7h the pueb/o as e77s were shared with a//. (Jm 7/ad ( 7a8e Jac=ie those ma7ic chi/es. After Jac= and the beans, ( wasnJt so sure ( wanted to try that a7ain. ,ut this time the ma7ic found a 7ir/ who had a 7ood heart. $erhaps ( wi// try a7ain. Anyone /i=e to trade for some ma7ic brocco/i?

END O& $!A6

'H6 DONO# #HE6 )ARE 'HA# HA$$EN #O #HE EAR#H?

by

D. %. ,oca<.!arson

III

)opyri7ht G -HHA// Ri7hts Reser8ed

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,efore performin7 this script, you must first request permission at poco/ocop/ayersRyahoo.com or http:SSwww.7eocities.comSpoco/ocop/ayersSrequest.htm/ #he script may be printed and copied for free. (f you decide to perform the p/ay and char7e admission, the requirements are be/ow: *. A// pro7rams, posters, etc. shou/d ha8e the authorOs name KD. %. ,oca<.!arsonL and somethin7 that te//s about the &reedrama.com website such as T$roduced by specia/ arran7ement with www.freedrama.comT. 'hen you comp/ete the production, mai/ a copy of the pro7ram to the roya/ty address /isted be/ow. -. #here is a U-H roya/ty for usin7 the p/ay for up to two performances. (f you perform the p/ay three or more times, the roya/ty is ;ust U*H per performance. #he roya/ty payment must be sent 8ia http:SSwww.paypa/.com. Or you may send a chec= to: D. %. ,oca<.!arson, *4-* Encino A8e., "rants, N% V4H-H. $/ease no purchase orders. NO#E: #he p/ay may not be reproduced or pub/ished in any form without written permission from the author. #han= you for se/ectin7 my script. ( hope you en;oy it. incere/y, D. %. ,oca<.!arson

III

)ast of )haracters

,ear: A po/ar bear that can be a fema/e or ma/e that is bi77er than the other cast members. he is the /eader of the 7roup, the wisest, and mother or father fi7ure to EA!.

$uffin: hort, chubby ma/e or fema/e. He is a true dreamer and eCpert story te//er. He p/ays the comedy re/ief of the p/ay a/ways comin7 out with a 7ood ;o=e at a moments notice.

ea/: hort and scrawny fema/e or ma/e. )an be p/ayed by a chi/d. he is a chi/d thrown into an ear/y adu/thood. he is often wea= and scared.

&oC: An arctic foC that is a sma//, s/ender ma/e or fema/e. He has an unfortunate reputation

of bein7 a thief. He a/so seems to a/ways 7et himse/f into some =ind of troub/e. He is 8ery ;umpy and tends to comp/ain a /ot.

'o/f: An arctic wo/f who is the second bi77est in the cast. He is a ma/e or fema/e with a 8ery stron7 persona/ity. He comes across as powerfu/ and mysterious. Norma//y, he is a /oner. He becomes the warrior and protector of the 7roup.

#ime and $/ace #he present. (n the arctic.

Note #he fi8e characters can simp/y be p/ayed by actors wearin7 neutra/ co/ors or c/othin7 co/or coordinated with a head dress that represents the anima/ he or she is p/ayin7. #he p/ay can be performed on any sty/e of sta7e Ktraditiona/, thrust, arena, etc.L. No props are required, on/y costumes. #he type and dynamics of the sta7e is up to the theatre producin7 the p/ay.

,ac=7round #he tra7edy of the A/as=an oi/ spi// can ne8er be undone. Hopefu//y, itOs sacrifice wi// be remembered and not repeated. #his p/ay is in the memory of an touched North that is has now been a/tered beyond repair. A/thou7h, humorous in nature, this p/ay sti// hopefu//y wi// he/p our chi/dren to see c/ear/y what has been done. %aybe, in the best of a// possib/e wor/ds, they wi// /earn to a8oid our mista=es.

III

A)# ( cene *

K!i7hts come up on ,EAR sittin7, ), /oo=in7 sad/y out into the audienceL

,EAR K#o herse/fL 'hen, ( saw those mi7hty %an 8esse/s brea= throu7h the ice into my domain twe/8e moons a7o, ( cou/d fee/ the dan7er. #he ice parted before them, unab/e to resist. #he scars sti// remain. At the /ast moon, ( was awa=ened by an o8erwhe/min7 and cho=in7 sme// of the b/ac= /iquid %an came to my home for. %y eyes are wea=, but ( cou/d sti// see what they had done. #heir mi7hty 8esse/s had been sp/it open by the roc=s in the sea and their treasure of the dar= /iquid seeped out, b/ac=enin7 the once b/ue waters. K toppin7 and eCpressin7 dis7ustL #he sme// is unbearab/e... K adL and my home/and is ruined. %y food that is in the sea has been spoi/ed and ( am hun7ry. %any of my friends ha8e either mo8ed on or passed away. %an has robbed us of our beautifu/ home. KAbout in tears, ,EAR stops and tries to =eep contro/ of whate8er emotion she has /eftL

$A&&(N KOff RL tupid, stupid %en: K)omin7 onL %essin7 up my home and my /ife:

K)rossin7 to ,EAR but sti// ta/=in7 to himse/fL And ri7ht when thin7s were 7oin7 so we//. K#a/=in7 to ,EARL ( was about to open those ice s/ides (O8e a/ways dreamed about, but no. #hose stupid men had to mess it a// up with their stupid b/ac= stuff, that spi//ed a// o8er the p/ace.

,EAR K ad/yL He//o, $uffin.

$A&&(N K$/oppin7 down neCt to ,EARL (tOs been a rou7h day.

,EAR (tOs been a rou7h moon.

$A&&(N KAn7ry and upsetL #hat b/ac= ;un= in the water too= away my fami/y. %y who/e fami/y, ,ear:

,EAR K ad/yL %ineOs 7one, too.

$A&&(N KE8en/yL ( ha8e to 7et out of here. #hat stupid whatchamaca//it is 7ettin7 to me.

,EAR 6ouOre /ea8in7?

$A&&(N K tandsL Ri7ht away. (Om out of here.

,EAR 'here are you 7oin7?

$A&&(N KDreami/yL outh. #o a /and free of %en and their stupid b/ac= stuff.

,EAR Ne8er heard of any p/ace /i=e that.

$A&&(N

(tOs a wonderfu/ p/ace. No worries, no cares... KAn7ri/yL and best of a//, no %en.

,EAR Ha8e you been there?

$A&&(N No, my 7reat unc/e to/d me about it.

,EAR 'hy did he come bac=?

$A&&(N (Om not sure. omethin7 about it bein7 a sort of confined de/i7ht.

,EAR Huh?

$A&&(N DonOt as= me. He was 8ery o/d when he to/d me. He babb/ed a /ot. 6ou can come a/on7, if you want to.

,EAR K!oo=in7 out to seaL #hereOs nothin7 /eft for me hereW anythin7 sounds better than this. Especia//y if there are no %en.

$A&&(N 6ouO// /o8e it. 'hat a 7/orious p/ace it is. 6ouO// ne8er be hurt, youO// a/ways ha8e she/ter, and youO// ha8e more food than you e8er dreamed of.

,EAR (O8e dreamed of quite a bit /ate/y.

$A&&(N %e, too. K$o=in7 be//yL &ood has been scarce e8er since that b/ac= ;un= muc=ed up the water. KAn7ri/yL tupid %en. K)ryin7 is heard off !L ,EAR K)oncernedL 'hatOs that?

$A&&(N K'add/es ! of ,EARL ounds /i=e someone is cryin7. KA white, baby sea/ comes on cryin7 from !L

,EAR (tOs a baby sea/.

EA! K ees others, stops, and cowersL $/ease, donOt hurt me. (O// 7o away.

,EAR K"oin7 to EA!L No, wait. 6ou can stay.

EA! 6ou wonOt hurt me?

,EAR K mi/esL No, of course not.

EA! K%o8es c/oserL #han= you.

$A&&(N 'hatOs with the tears?

EA! (Om a// a/one. %y fami/y... K tops, criesL

,EAR K,rin7in7 EA!, ), and settin7 her downL (tOs a// ri7ht to cry. !et it a// out.

$A&&(N ure. ( cry a// the time. ome of my best friends cry... K,EAR stops him ramb/in7s with a /oo=L

,EAR Just re/aC, youOre amon7 friends.

EA! K)ryin7L %y mother sent me away when she 7ot sic=. he said it was no /on7er safe. he p/eaded with me to 7o, but ( cou/dnOt. #hen, sudden/y, she stopped ta/=in7. ( tried to 7et her to spea=, but she wou/dnOt. he wou/dnOt e8en sin7 to me anymore. he a/ways sin7s to me. A/ways.

K)ryin7 uncontro/ab/yL

,EAR KHu77in7 EA!L 6ouOre safe, now. 'eO// ta=e care of you.

$A&&(N 6ouO// a/ways ha8e friends if you stic= with us. %y pop to/d me once that if youOre =ind to e8eryone and ha8e a smi/e on your face, youO// a/ways ha8e friends. 6aO =now...

,EAR 6ou donOt ha8e to run anymore. 6ou can rest at /ast.

$A&&(N #hen, weO// ta=e you away from this %an corrupted /and to a better, more beautifu/ p/ace.

,EAR 'here thereOs no %en and no hun7er.

$A&&(N 6ouO// ne8er ha8e another worry a7ain.

EA! K,ri7htenin7L

(t sounds /i=e a wonderfu/ p/ace.

,EAR 'eOd 7/ad/y brin7 you a/on7.

$A&&(N 6ou bet. T#he more the merrier.T %y "randpa said that.

EA! ( wonOt be too much troub/e?

,EAR Not at a//.

$A&&(N 'eOd /o8e to ha8e you. %y fami/y a/ways /i=ed us to ha8e /ots of friends. K!au7hs to himse/fL ,ut, you shou/d ha8e seen my momOs face when ( brou7ht home... KHe is cau7ht in a fit of /au7hterL

EA! K#earsL ( was so worried (Od be a/one fore8er. K mi/esL %other was ri7ht. A worthy prayer is a/ways answered. ( prayed so 8ery hard for a friend

K#o ,EARL and ( 7ot one.

,EAR 6our mother sounds /i=e a beautifu/ anima/.

EA! K mi/esL 6es, she... K$auseL was.

$A&&(N %y mother had fine ad8ice, too. !i=e, ne8er swim on a fu// stomach, a/ways stay away from %en, K'onderin7 bac=wardsL And ne8er, e8er wander to c/ose to the ed7e of a c/iff. K&rom off R, &OX bursts on and tumb/es into $A&&(NL 'atch it, &oC:

&OX K#errifiedL 'o/f:

K tumb/in7 forward and pointin7 off RL 'o/f: K EA! hides behind ,EARL

$A&&(N KAnnoyed, 7rabs himL Now, ho/d on a minute, buc=.o. Just ca/m down and te// us why in the wor/d you are bein7 chased by a wo/f?

,EAR #hey arenOt usua//y too fond of eatin7 foCes.

&OX K caredL (t was an accident, rea//y. ( didnOt mean to =noc= him into the water.

$A&&(N 'ait a minute. #his story is missin7 somethin7. How did you mana7e to =noc= a wo/f into the water?

&OX ( was happi/y runnin7 a/on7, when sudden/y the ice became s/ippery. ( be7an s/idin7 a/on7, out of contro/. ( tried and tried, but ( cou/dnOt stop. NeCt thin7 ( =new 'o/f was in the water.

$A&&(N Rea/ smooth.

&OX K$/eadin7 to $A&&(NL $/ease, he/p me. (t was on/y an accident.

'O!& KOff RL (Om on your trai/, &oC: K$A&&(N and &OX ;oin EA! behind ,EAR. 'O!& comes onL 'here is that /itt/e thief?

,EAR K#o &OXL 'hat does he mean by thief? K&OX shru7s innocent/yL

'O!& #hat /itt/e creep =noc=ed me in the water and sto/e my fish:

&OX

Accidents happen.

'O!& Accident:

&OX ( didnOt mean to =noc= you in.

'O!& ( suppose you accidenta//y too= my fish, too.

&OX K mi/es wea=/yL ( fi7ured you didnOt need them since you were busy tryin7 to 7et out of the water.

'O!& K%o8in7 inL 'hy you /itt/e...

,EAR K&irm/yL Ho/d on a minute, 'o/f.

'O!& K tops, an7ri/yL 'hat::

,EAR 'hy canOt we stop fi7htin7 amon7 ourse/8es? #here are on/y a few anima/s /eft. 'e need to start he/pin7 each other, rather than hurtin7 one another.

'O!& &ine, =eep the /itt/e, thie8in7 &oC. ( ha8e better thin7s to do than stand around and ar7ue with you. K'O!& eCits RL

&OX #han= you e8er so much, ,ear.

$A&&(N #hief, eh? 6ou want to =now what my Aunt did to a thief once...

&OX Oh, no. (Om not a thief. (Om ;ust hun7ry. #hese are desperate times.

,EAR ( su77est you be a wee bit more carefu/ in your search for food no matter how hun7ry you are.

&OX (Om sorry. ( seem to brin7 troub/e where e8er ( 7o. K tarts to eCit !L ( wonOt cause you any more prob/ems.

EA! 'ait, donOt 7o. 6ou donOt want to be a/one do you?

&OX K topsL No, not rea//y. K$A&&(N /oo=s suspicious/y at himL (Om troub/e, ea/. ( ha8e to 7o.

EA! K#o ,EARL DonOt /et him 7o. HeO// be a/one.

,EAR ea/Os ri7ht. 6ou must stay with us.

$A&&(N K"i8in7 inL ure, why not.

&OX KHappi/y ;umpin7 aboutL #han= you. #han= you. #han= you. #han= you so much.

$A&&(N 6eah, yeah, youOre we/come. Just ca/m down. (tOs not that bi7 a dea/.

EA! And you can come with us, too.

&OX 'here?

$A&&(N KJumpin7 into story modeL #o a 7/orious p/ace, where there are no %en to cause us any more pain.

&OX KECcitedL No %en. 6ou can count me in.

'O!& KOff RL ( wou/dnOt trust him if ( were you:

&OX KDi8in7 behind ,EAR. 'hinesL (tOs that awfu/ 'o/f, a7ain: K EA! and $A&&(N bac= awayL

,EAR K#o off RL ( thou7ht you were /ea8in7, 'o/f?

'O!& KOffL ( chan7ed my mind. K)omes onL ( /i=e the sound of that p/ace of yours, $uffin. ( mi7ht ;ust 7o ha8e a /oo=.

&OX %a=e him 7o away. He scares me.

,EAR 6ou can stay if you promise to /ea8e &oC a/one.

'O!& KHe sett/es down in shadows ARL No prob/em. HeOs for7otten. K"oes to s/eepL

&OX K ta7e whisperL $/ease, ,ear. end him away.

,EAR ( canOt. 'o/8es do what they want. ( usua//y donOt ar7ue.

$A&&(N %y cousin =new a wo/f, once. Handy fe//ow to ha8e around.

,EAR 6eah, ri7ht.

$A&&(N 6ou ne8er =now, you mi7ht be than=fu/ heOs stic=in7 around.

&OX (n your dreams, $uffin.

,EAR ( must admit, ha8in7 a wo/f around ma=es you fee/ =inda safe.

&OX Depends who you are.

$A&&(N 'e//, ( canOt say (Om sorry heOs comin7. 'o/8es ma=e enemies thin= twice.

&OX

( see why.

EA! K#o ,EAR, /oo=in7 at 'O!&L (O8e ne8er seen a wo/f before. ,ut, %other to/d me stories about them. %y fami/y didnOt /i=e them 8ery much.

,EAR Nor mine. K$u<</edL ,ut, this wo/f is different. #hey usua//y donOt /i=e stic=in7 around. ( donOt see why he wants to 7o with us.

EA! ( hope he stays friend/y.

,EAR K mi/esL Just be =ind and =eep a smi/e on your face.

$A&&(N 6aO =now, thatOs eCact/y what my pop a/ways says...

,EAR !etOs 7et some rest. 'eO// /ea8e in the mornin7. K he sett/es down !). $A&&(N p/ops down R of herL

$A&&(N "ood ni7ht, a//.

&OX K)ur/s up ! of ,EARL Ni7ht. K>eeps a watchfu/ eye on 'O!&L

EA! K"oes up to ,EARL ,ear?

,EAR 6es?

EA! Do you thin= $uffinOs p/ace is rea/?

,EAR (Om not rea//y sure.

EA!

#hen, why 7o?

,EAR #hereOs nothin7 /eft for me here.

EA! (Om scared. (O8e ne8er been away before.

,EAR K)omfortin7L E8erythin7 wi// be fine. 6ouOre safe with us. /eep, now. (tOs /ate.

EA! K ett/es down neCt to ,EAR. $auseL ( miss my mother.

,EAR /eep.

EA! "ood ni7ht. K$auseL And than= you for not /ettin7 me be a/one.

K,EAR smi/es and pats EA! on the head as the /i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene -

K!i7hts come up on the s/eepin7 bunch minus the 'O!&. #hey are a// awa=ened by the 'o/fOs how/ off RL

&OX KJumpin7 upL 'hat was that?

,EAR (t sounded /i=e 'o/f.

$A&&(N ( wonder what heOs up to?

'O!& K&/yin7 on from RL

%en:

EA! K caredL 'hat?

'O!& %en. #heyOre comin7. 'e must 7o, quic=/y.

$A&&(N K'add/in7 off !L #hose stupid %en. DonOt they e8er 7i8e it a rest?

&OX KRuns off !L (Om 7one.

,EAR Hurry, ea/.

EA! (Om scared.

,EAR 6ou must be bra8e. #hey feed on fear. Run: K#hey eCitL

'O!& K"/ares off R. "row/s in dis7ustL %en. KECits as /i7hts fadeL

cene 0

K!i7hts come up on an empty sta7e. Boices are heard off !L

&OX KOff !L (Om tired. (s it much farther? ( need to rest.

'O!& KOff !L 'i// you shut up?:

$A&&(N K'add/es on from !L ( thin= weO// stay here for the ni7ht.

&OX K)omin7 on and sittin7 )L (tOs about time.

'O!& KEnterin7L Anythin7 to stop your comp/ainin7. K ett/es down A!L

,EAR

'i// you both p/ease stop it?

&OX (Om hun7ry. K'O!& 7row/s. ,EAR scow/s at them bothL

EA! )ome on, $uffin. !etOs 7o fishin7.

$A&&(N K#hey start off RL ounds 7ood. 6aO =now, this reminds me of the time pop and (... K#hey disappear off RL

&OX 'hy do we ha8e to 7o so far e8eryday? (t ma=es my paws ache so.

,EAR ( 7uess weOre in a hurry to 7et outh.

&OX ( su77est we s/ow down and ta=e it easy for awhi/e. (Om tired, (Om hun7ry, and (Om wet. (tOs been days since (O8e had enou7h s/eep.

'O!& KJumps upL hut up, &oC: (Om tired of your comp/ainin7: )anOt you =eep quiet for a sin7/e second: K&OX bac=s away fri7htened. He doesnOt /oo= where he is 7oin7 and fa//s throu7h the ice. YNote: #his can be done either off ! or on a s/oped part of the sta7e possib/y downsta7eZL

&OX K&a//sL He/p:

,EAR HeOs fa//en throu7h the ice:

'O!& KDi8es and 7rabs &OXL (O8e 7ot him:

,EAR K"rabbin7 'O!&L DonOt /et 7o:

&OX ( donOt p/an on it:

'O!& $u//, quic=/y, ,ear: (Om /oosin7 him. K,EAR pu//s them both out. #hey a// /ie motion/ess on sta7e a momentL

&OX #han= you, 'o/f. 6ou sa8ed me.

'O!& K"oes to ARL 6es, ( did. KHe turns his bac= and is si/entL

,EAR K#o &OXL 6ou o=ay?

&OX (Om mi7hty co/d.

,EAR At /east youOre a/i8e.

&OX K!oo=in7 at 'O!&L 'hy did he sa8e me?

,EAR 'hy shou/dnOt he?

&OX He seems to hate me so much. ,ut he sti// sa8ed me.

,EAR 'o/8es are a stran7e breed. ( ne8er understood them.

&OX And why is he stayin7 with us? DonOt they usua//y tra8e/ a/one or at /east with other wo/8es?

,EAR #heyOre /oners a// ri7ht. ( donOt =now why he stays. K#o &OX, concernedL Rest whi/e you can. 'e ha8e another /on7 day ahead of us.

&OX K ett/es down. arcasticL 6ippee s=ippy. ( canOt wait. K EA! and $A&&(N come on carryin7 pantomimed arm/oads of fishL

$A&&(N 'e hit the mother /oad:

,EAR K ittin7 downL ,rin7 it on o8er. (Om star8ed.

&OX KHead pops upL &ood? K ees fishL &ood: K its by ,EAR and di7s inL

EA! K)rosses to 'O!&. mi/es =ind/yL 'ou/d you /i=e to ;oin us?

'O!& No, than= you.

EA! 'e ha8e p/enty.

'O!& ( hunt on my own. K EA! turns sad/y away. 'O!& sees thisL ,ut, than= you. K EA! smi/es and then ;oins others. 'O!& eCits RL

EA! $uffin, te// us a story. K#o othersL He te//s wonderfu/ stories.

$A&&(N (tOs somethin7 to do whi/e fishin7.

,EAR "o on, te// us a 7ood one.

EA! $/ease, $uffin.

$A&&(N O=ay. (O// te// you the story about a /itt/e 7ir/ and the /ast foC on Earth.

&OX ( donOt =now about this.

EA! 'hatOs a /itt/e 7ir/?

$A&&(N A youn7 'omanW %anOs mate. #hey are the fema/es of their species, but much =inder and 7ent/er. %anOs better ha/f ( mi7ht add.

&OX K'orriedL 'hat about the foC?

cene 1

$A&&(N Once upon a time, in a /and not so far away, there /i8ed a /itt/e 7ir/ named )indy.

K!i7hts fade. EA! becomes )(ND6 and &OX becomes the /ast foC on EarthL

$A&&(N K(n dar=ness now a/on7 with ,EARL he was a =ind /itt/e 7ir/. As nice and 7ent/e as a =itten. K)(ND6 comes s=ippin7 on from R and sees some f/owersL

)(ND6 'hat beautifu/ f/owers. ( must ta=e one home to mother. K he pic=s a pantomimed f/ower and sme//s it. he hears mo8ement off !L

He//o, is someone there?

&OX Nope. Nobody here but us f/owers.

)(ND6 6ou canOt foo/ me. ( see you.

&OX 'e//, bu//y for you.

)(ND6 $/ease, come c/oser. (O8e ne8er seen anythin7 /i=e you before.

&OX And you ne8er wi// a7ain.

)(ND6 'hat ma=es you say that?

&OX K)omes c/oserL (Om afraid that (Om the /ast foC on Earth.

)(ND6 #he /ast one?

&OX %en hate us. #hey thin= weOre =i//ers. (O8e on/y ta=en a chic=en of two, rea//y. ,ut they sti// thin= weOre 8icious =i//ers that must be wiped out.

)(ND6 #hatOs awfu/:

&OX No =iddin7.

)(ND6 Are you scared?

&OX Of course, wou/dnOt you be?

)(ND6 #hen, why donOt you run and hide?

&OX (Om tired of runnin7.

)(ND6 DonOt you want to /i8e?

&OX ( donOt =now anymore. (O8e been dod7in7 hunters a// my /ife. (t 7ets =ind of o/d after a whi/e. ometimes ( thin= ( shou/d ;ust /et them 7et me. #hereOs a /ot of presti7e in =i//in7 the /ast of a species, p/us thereOs a hi7h price for itOs s=in. ( cou/d set somebody up for /ife.

)(ND6 #hatOs terrib/e: How can they 7et away with that?:

&OX #hatOs the way it wor=s in this wor/d, =id. >i// the /ast of a species and youO// be rich. (tOs posted e8erywhere.

)(ND6 ( donOt understand.

&OX ( ou7ht to ;ust /et you ta=e me in.

)(ND6 ( cou/d ne8er so that.

&OX

6ouOd be rich.

)(ND6 ( canOt =i// ;ust to 7et money. (tOs immora/.

&OX ince when are %en mora/?

)(ND6 $/ease, run away. %y dad wi// be home soon.

&OX ( canOt run anymore. #hereOs no use.

)(ND6 KAr7ent/yL %y dadOs a hunter. 6ouO8e 7ot to 7o.

&OX !et him ha8e me, then.

DAD K'O!& becomes her DAD. Off RL )indy? (s that you?

)(ND6 Hurry, you must 7o.

&OX No, ( canOt.

DAD KOffL )indy?

)(ND6 $/ease, 7o:

DAD KOff. His 8oice is hushed but eCcitedL )indy, is that a foC? DonOt mo8e, honey, donOt scare it away.

)(ND6 Run: K&OX doesnOt mo8eL

DAD KOffL

)indy, mo8e away.

)(ND6 Daddy, no.

DAD )ynthia, mo8e:

)(ND6 No: $/ease, donOt hurt him: K#o &OXL 'hy donOt you run? HeO// =i// you if you donOt:

DAD )indy:

&OX K'ea=/yL %o8e, )indy.

)(ND6 No:

&OX $/ease, /et me die. K he starts to ob;ectL $/ease. K)(ND6 runs off to her DADL

DAD KOffL "ood 7ir/. K!i7hts fade as a rif/e is coc=ed and fired. #he cryin7 of a /itt/e 7ir/ is heard in the dar=nessL

cene 2

K!i7hts come up on a sad foursomeL

&OX ( donOt =now if ( /i=ed that story 8ery much.

EA! (t was so sad.

,EAR

DoesnOt bui/d a /ot of hope inside you, does it?

$A&&(N ( /i=e depressin7 stories. #hey ma=e you fee/ better about your own /ife.

,EAR #rue.

$A&&(N #hey ma=e you rea/i<e that thin7s cou/d be worse.

&OX (t sure didnOt cheer me up. 'hy did it ha8e to be a foC?

$A&&(N (t didnOt ha8e to be. (t ha8e been any anima/. A bear, a sea/, or a wo/f. 'eOre a// in dan7er of the same thin7.

EA! K ad/yL %en.

$A&&(N 6ouOre /earnin7 fast.

EA! #hey scare me.

,EAR #hey scare me, too.

EA! #hey do? ,ut, youOre so bi7.

,EAR (t doesnOt matter. %en ha8e fi7ured out ways to =i// us a//. 6ou name an anima/, they ha8e a way.

EA! Are we a// 7oin7 to die, /i=e that foC? K&OX squirmsL

,EAR ( donOt =now.

$A&&(N (O8e heard that some %en do care. #hey try to sa8e us and our homes and wor= to stop the bad %en from wipin7 us out.

&OX #heyOre not tryin7 hard enou7h if you as= me.

$A&&(N No, (tOs ;ust that not enou7h %en care.

EA! 'hy donOt they?

$A&&(N #heyOre into he/pin7 themse/8es. #hey on/y support us if it means theyO// turn a profit.

,EAR %anOs a stran7e creature.

&OX #hatOs an understatement.

,EAR (tOs /ate. 'e need some rest.

&OX

A7reed. "ood ni7ht a//. KHe eCits RL

$A&&(N K&o//ows &OXL Ni7ht. KECitsL

EA! K#o ,EARL /eep we//. K tarts to eCit RL

,EAR 6ou, too.

EA! K topsL ArenOt you comin7?

,EAR (O// be with you in a minute. ( need a moment a/one.

EA! O=ay. K EA! eCits R. ,EAR stares sad/y ahead a moment. 'O!& enters from !. ees ,EAR. tops and turns to eCit a7ainL

,EAR K ees 'O!&L 'ait.

'O!& 'hat?

,EAR tay a moment. (Od /i=e to ta/=.

'O!& K tays in shadowsL As you wish.

,EAR KAfter a short pauseL 'hy are you stayin7 with us?

'O!& (t p/eases me for the moment.

,EAR 'o/8es are /oners, they stay with no one.

'O!& 'e do what we p/ease.

,EAR ( sti// donOt understand why it p/eases you to tra8e/ with us. (tOs not natura/.

'O!& KAn7ryL (s anythin7 natura/ in this wor/d, anymore? K$ause. He turns to 7oL (tOs /ate. "o to s/eep.

,EAR $/ease, donOt 7o yet.

'O!&

K topsL 'hat do you want, now?

,EAR #hereOs more, isnOt there? K"ent/yL $/ease, te// me.

'O!& 6es. #hereOs much more. K$auseL %an came and destroyed my home, made it un/i8ab/e for my =ind. K tops, doesnOt want to te// anyone his fee/in7sL

,EAR "o on. (t wi// ma=e you fee/ better if you ta/= about it.

'O!& K"/arin7 at ,EARL A// ri7ht. ,ut, if you te// a sou/ what ( te// you, youO// /i8e to re7ret it.

,EAR ( sha// =eep whate8er you say to myse/f.

'O!& K'anders as he ta/=sL 'hen, %an came to our /and, some of my =ind mo8ed on, searchin7 for a p/ace that didnOt ha8e them. #he others who stayed tra8e/ed c/oser to each other than usua/W safety in numbers.

,EAR 'e a// chan7ed our natura/ habits when they came.

'O!& Not (. ( stayed on my own. A /oner of /oners. #hen, one ni7ht, ( heard horrib/e screams from my fe//ow wo/8es. ( rushed to see what had happened... K$auseL

,EAR ( heard a/so, but ( stayed away.

'O!& KApsetL ( cou/dnOt. #he screams were too piercin7. K$auseL ( was sei<ed by the cries and drawn to the source.

,EAR 'hat had happened?

'O!& #he %en had set a hu7e trap for the 'o/8es and /ured them in with raw meat...none escaped. #hey a// were beaten to death with c/ubs. K$auseL

#hey died in such a7ony. K topsL

,EAR KAfter a momentL (Om sorry.

'O!& #hey =i//ed the rest of my =ind that way. ( mana7ed to a8oid the traps, thou7h. &i7urin7 they successfu//y wiped us out, the trappin7 stopped.

,EAR 'hy did they do it?

'O!& 'hen they first arri8ed, a wo/f attac=ed one of the %en after it had been chased and cornered. #hey decided we had to be destroyed before any %en were =i//ed.

,EAR ( canOt be/ie8e they cou/d be so stupid.

'O!& 'e//, they are.

,EAR ti//, why didnOt you stay a/one? 'hy choose us for companions rather than other wo/8es that were far away?

'O!& ( searched and ( ca//ed. ( found no one.

,EAR K ad/yL 6ouOre a/one.

'O!& 'hen, ( =new that, ( fe/t /one/y for the first time. ( /i=e bein7 a/one, but not that a/one. ( needed someone of any =ind, to be with. ( found you a// and wanted so bad/y to stay. Ne8er before had ( wanted friendship so bad/y.

,EAR K mi/esL tay with us, my friend. 6ou are we/come.

'O!& K!oo=s at ,EARL ( wi//.

,EAR (Om than=fu/ to ha8e you with us. ( fee/ much safer.

'O!& omeone has to ta=e care of a// of you. KECits !L "ood ni7ht, ,ear.

,EAR "ood ni7ht, 'o/f. KA/oneL %ay your dreams comfort you. K!i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene 3

K!i7hts come up on ,EAR /yin7 ) and EA!, $A&&(N, and &OX are usin7 her as a pi//ow. 'O!& is A! in the shadows. #hey are /oo=in7 up at the ni7ht s=y. YNote: #he characters can be in 8arious arran7ements dependin7 on the sta7e. On a thrust or arena sta7e where the audience rises about them, they cou/d /ie f/at /oo=in7 up. Otherwise

they can sit up or rest a7ainst somethin7ZL

EA! #he s=y is beautifu/ toni7ht.

,EAR (tOs so c/ear. #he stars are easy to see.

&OX #here are so many of them.

$A&&(N ...one hundred and two, one hundred and three...

EA! #he stars are so peacefu/ and soothin7. (t wou/d be such a wonderfu/ p/ace to be.

&OX $uffin, te// us a7ain about the p/ace we are 7oin7 to.

$A&&(N #here are no worries or cares. E8erythin7 youO8e e8er wanted is there. %ore food than you cou/d e8er desire and a she/ter that is yours fore8er. And best of a//, not a %an can touch you. #hereOs nothin7 they can do to hurt you.

EA! 'i// we be there soon?

&OX

'eO8e been tra8e/in7 a /on7 time. (s it much farther?

$A&&(N 'e are 7ettin7 c/oser. ( can fee/ it.

&OX #he on/y thin7 ( fee/ is my achin7 feet.

EA! (Om so eCcited. (t sounds /i=e a dream come true.

$A&&(N (t is, ea/.

&OX ( hope there isnOt much tra8e/in7.

$A&&(N None. 6ou can stay in one p/ace for as /on7 as you /i=e.

,EAR ( hope itOs not too hot.

&OX Or too co/d.

$A&&(N (t wi// be ;ust ri7ht for each and e8ery one of us.

,EAR (t sounds a/most too perfect.

&OX 'hatOs wron7 with that?

,EAR Nothin7. (Om ;ust cautious thatOs a//.

$A&&(N (t a// wi// be better than any wish someone cou/d create with their wi/dest ima7ination.

EA! ( wish we were there.

&OX !ife is /oo=in7 7rand. (ma7ine. Out of the hands of /and mushin7 %en and into paradise.

K!i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene 4

K!i7hts come up on an empty sta7e. ,EAR enters from R. $A&&(N and EA! enter from !L

,EAR ( canOt find him.

$A&&(N 'here did that cra<y &oC 7o?

EA! HeOs been /ost for hours.

,EAR >eep /oo=in7. ( ha8e a bad fee/in7 that he needs he/p.

$A&&(N Ri7ht. KHe eCits !L )ome on, ea/.

K EA! eCitsL

'O!& KEnters from RL &ind him?

,EAR No. ( ha8enOt come across any si7n of him.

'O!& (O// chec= the /ower c/iffs.

,EAR (O// swin7 by the 8a//ey. KECits RL

'O!& K"oes D!) to a /ower part of the sta7e Yif possib/eZ. !i7hts come up on &OX cau7ht in a trapL &oC: KRushes to himL

&OX K'ea=/yL 'o/f, (Om cau7ht.

'O!& !et me free you. K tarts at trapL (t wonOt bud7e.

&OX K niffin7L me// that?

'O!& K tops and sniffsL (tOs a %an:

&OX !ea8e me. a8e yourse/f.

'O!& K tru77/in7 with trapL No: Just 7i8e me a second.

&OX (tOs no use. "et out of here.

'O!& ( canOt /ea8e you.

&OX #he %anOs 7ettin7 c/oser. "et away, quic=:

'O!& HeO// =i// you.

&OX HeO// =i// both of us if you donOt 7o. Run:

'O!& ,ut...

&OX DonOt sacrifice yourse/f. %y time has come. "o and find your paradise. K)/oses eyesL ( sha// soon be in mine. ( wi// be far, far away...

K$ause. Opens eyesL ...out of the hands of %en and into paradise.

'O!& K ad/yL $eace, my friend. K$eaceL ay he//o to the "reat pirit for me.

&OX K#ries to smi/eL !on7 /ife, my friend. K!ies down and c/oses eyes. 'O!& /in7ers a moment than darts away. !i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene V

K!i7hts come up on 'O!& sittin7 motion/ess ). ,EAR enters from RL

,EAR 'o/f. Did you find him?

'O!& K ad/yL 6es.

,EAR K$auseL (s...is he a// ri7ht?

'O!& KApset. ,e7ins spea=in7 in no particu/ar orderL He was cau7ht in a trap. #he %en ha8e his s=in. ( watched from the shadows after &oC sent me away to safety. He didnOt want me to be cau7ht, too. ( wanted so bad/y to rescue him from their fi/thy hands...

,EAR 'e must /ea8e, quic=/y, before they find the rest of us. K$A&&(N and EA! enter !L

$A&&(N K ensin7 sadnessL 'hatOs wron7?

EA! 'hereOs &oC?

,EAR K /ow/yL He...heOs dead.

$A&&(N 'hat?:

,EAR He was cau7ht in a trap.

'O!& #here wasnOt time to sa8e him.

EA! K!oo=in7 aroundL (Om scared. ( want to 7o bac=. %en fri7hten me so bad/y.

,EAR K)omfortin7 EA!L 6ouO// be safe with us. 'e must a// stay c/ose from now on.

$A&&(N

( fee/ awfu/ about this. #his is my doin7. ( brou7ht us outh. (Om sorry. %y dream of a 7/orious /and c/ouded my thin=in7. ( i7nored the dan7ers. (tOs my fau/t.

'O!& (tOs not your fau/t. 'e each chose to come. 6our dream became ours, a/so. 6ouOre not responsib/e for our choices.

,EAR %en brin7 us these dan7ers. #hey threaten to destroy us. (f there is a chance of bein7 free of that threat, ( want to ta=e it.

'O!& ( a7ree. E8en ;ust a dream of no %en is a fantasy worth see=in7.

$A&&(N K mi/esL #han= you, friends.

,EAR &or what?

$A&&(N &or not b/amin7 me.

,EAR

6ou werenOt the cause of &oCOs death. (t was the %en.

$A&&(N tupid %en.

'O!& %en destroy a// that is around them and wonder what happened to it when it is 7one.

EA! 'hy do they hurt thin7s? 'hy donOt they care what happens to the Earth?

,EAR ( donOt =now.

$A&&(N ( donOt thin= they =now.

'O!& One day theyO// be sorry.

EA! ,ut wi// we be here to see that day? KE8eryone is si/entL

$A&&(N K,rea=in7 si/enceL ( wou/dnOt want to be around after %en run the Earth for awhi/e anyway.

EA! KApsetL 'hy doesnOt the "reat pirit stop them? DoesnOt the pirit care about us, too?

,EAR 'e are a// a part of the "reat pirit, e8en %en. #he pirit /o8es us a// because we are a part of the who/e. Our =inds /earned /on7 a7o of nature, %en sti// ha8e yet to /earn. #he "reat pirit needs us to teach %en of their wron7 doin7s and we ha8e been as=ed to sacrifice ourse/8es for that purpose. (f we fo//ow the pirit, we sha// be rewarded. (f %en fai/ to /earn from our eCamp/e, they sha// be punished.

EA! (tOs hard not to hate them.

'O!& (tOs difficu/t not to want to punish them myse/f.

$A&&(N (tOs tou7h not to insu/t and spea= bad/y of those stupid %en.

,EAR #he "reat pirit /o8es a// the chi/dren. ,ut, %en need a /ot more nurturin7 than other =inds. 'e must he/p them to become our brothers and sisters, and then they too can ta=e their p/ace in nature.

'O!& K niffsL ( sme// %en. 'e must 7o.

EA! Home?

$A&&(N Or outh? K$ause. A// /oo= at ,EARL

,EAR (f there is a p/ace without the dan7er of %en, ( must 7o there.

'O!& ( wi// 7o, too.

$A&&(N (tOs outh for me.

EA! K$auseL ( ha8e no home, anymore. (O// 7o a/on7.

'O!& K!eadin7 them off RL #heyOre comin7. Hurry. K!i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene [

K!i7hts come up on an empty sta7e. $A&&(N comes on from off RL

$A&&(N K$oints out at audineceL E8eryone, come quic=:

EA! KEntersL 'hat is it, $uffin? K!oo=s outL

'ow.

,EAR K)omes onL !oo= at a// those /i7hts.

'O!& K)omes on /ast. Dis7ustedL (tOs a city.

EA! A what?

'O!& #he habitat of %en.

$A&&(N K(n aweL (O8e ne8er seen anythin7 /i=e it.

,EAR KDistastefu//yL (t sme//s /i=e nothin7 (O8e e8en sme/t before.

'O!& (O8e seen p/aces /i=e this before. #he /and is either torn, con8erted, of co8ered. E8erythin7 is dirty and sme//y. Nothin7 can /i8e there eCcept %en.

EA! K"rowin7 scaredL #here are so many %en. Are we safe here?

$A&&(N KECcitedL nap out of it e8eryone, itOs beautifu/. Just /oo= at it. o many shiny thin7s, itOs fun to /oo= at.

,EAR #he air is dirty. (tOs hard to breath.

EA! %y eyes hurt. #heyOre a/most burnin7.

'O!& (tOs a bad p/ace. #he "reat pirit has been for7otten here.

,EAR

#his p/ace is unnatura/.

$A&&(N (tOs 7/orious:

'O!& (s this the p/ace you to/d us about?

$A&&(N 6es.

,EAR #his canOt be it. 6ou said there were no %en.

'O!& ( see quite a few.

$A&&(N (nside this p/ace, the city, is the ha8en we see=.

,EAR How can such a p/ace eCist amon7 so many %en?

'O!& 6ou must be mista=en.

$A&&(N 'e ha8e to find it. (tOs there, ( can fee/ it. 'eO8e tra8e/ed to far to turn bac=, now.

EA! ( donOt want to 7o there. (Om scared.

'O!& 'e canOt 7o prancin7 around a city, $uffin. (tOs too dan7erous.

,EAR 'o/f is ri7ht, $uffin. 'e canOt ;ust de/i8er ourse/8es to them. 'eO// ha8e nothin7 to protect ourse/8es with. No p/ace to hide. #heyO8e e8en found ways to 7et us in our homes. How can we sur8i8e in theirOs?

EA! ( want to 7o home.

$A&&(N 'e ha8e to 7o on: 'eOre a/most there:

'O!&

6ou want to ris= our /i8es for somethin7 that mi7ht not e8en be there.

,EAR 6ouOre not e8en sure this wonderfu/ new home is in the city.

$A&&(N ( =now it is. (Om sure of it.

,EAR ,ut youOre not positi8e.

$A&&(N (tOs a ris= (Om wi//in7 to ta=e.

,EAR ( donOt =now, $uffin. ( donOt thin= itOs safe.

'O!& ( wi// 7o.

,EAR K urprisedL 'hat?

$A&&(N Rea//y?

'O!& ,ut, ( 7o a/one.

$A&&(N Ah, 7ee wi<<. )ome on. ( wanna 7o.

,EAR K#o 'O!&L ( canOt /et you do that.

'O!& (O// 7o and search for $uffinOs dream p/ace. (f it is there, (O// return and ta=e you a// safe/y to it.

,EAR Are you sure?

'O!& No ar7uments. ( and ( a/one wi// ta=e the ris=. K tarts to eCit !L

&arewe//, my friends.

,EAR %ay the "reat pirit be with you.

$A&&(N K$outin7L ( wanna 7o. ,ut no, 'o/f wants a// the 7/ory to himse/f. K'anders downsta7e, squats, and watches happi/y out at audienceL

EA! 'i// 'o/f be o=ay?

,EAR ( hope so. K$auseL

EA! #he city scares me. (tOs so bi7 and dirty.

,EAR 'hy wou/d any creature do that to the /and? (O8e been a/i8e a /on7 time, eCperienced many thin7s, but this ( donOt understand.

$A&&(N ( canOt wait unti/ 'o/f returns. (Om so eCcited.

EA! KAside to ,EARL How can he admire that?

,EAR HeOs /i8ed his dream of findin7 a perfect /and for so /on7, he canOt see whatOs rea//y before him.

$A&&(N Oh, ( see it, ,ear. ( see the %enOs pi7 sty. ,ut, ( a/so =now that the 7reatest treasures can be found in the most un/i=e/y p/aces.

,EAR ( hope youOre ri7ht. K6awnsL (Om tired. (Om 7oin7 to s/eep.

EA! (Om too fri7htened to s/eep. (O// =eep watch.

$A&&(N (Om too eCcited to s/eep. (O// stay up with you, ea/.

,EAR %ay as we// stay up, too. ( probab/y cou/dnOt s/eep with this awfu/ sme// anyway. K#hey 7ather to7ether and /oo= out at the audience. $A&&(N is happy. EA! is afraid. ,EAR is sad and worried. !i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene *H

K!i7hts come up on the three anima/s as/eep. 'O!& rushes on from off !L

'O!& K caredL E8eryone wa=e up:

,EAR 'hat is it?

EA! 'hat happened?

$A&&(N 'hatOs with you?

'O!& %en: #heyOre comin7:

,EAR #heyOre after you?

'O!& ( thin= ( may ha8e thrown them off my trai/.

$A&&(N 'hat about the city?

'O!& (tOs a horrib/e p/ace. #here are many %en, a// heart/ess and e8i/.

$A&&(N 'hat about the ha8en we came here for?

,EAR

(s it there?

'O!& KAn7ri/yL (tOs there, a// ri7ht.

EA! (t is?

$A&&(N (tOs there: 'eO8e found it at /ast: KDances aroundL

'O!& $uffin, stop.

$A&&(N KHoppin7 aboutL 'eO8e found it: 'eO8e found it:

'O!& K"rabs himL $uffin: !isten to me:

$A&&(N 'hat? 'hatOs wron7, 'o/f?

'O!& A// the anima/s are in ca7es. #hey canOt mo8e around and 7o where they want to. #heyOre condemned to stay in a /itt/e space, made up to /oo= /i=e your home/and.

,EAR )onfined de/i7ht.

'O!& #he anima/s are fed a /ot and they act happy, but itOs not natura/. #hey seem /i=e toys for %enOs amusement. #heyOre e8en trained to do tric=s for them. (tOs humi/iatin7.

$A&&(N #hat canOt be ri7ht.

'O!& (t is, $uffin: #heyO8e become a bunch of brain washed frea=s: K"un shot off !L %en: #heyOre 7ettin7 c/oser: ( thou7ht ( /ost them.

,EAR

Hurry: Run for the trees: K EA! and $A&&(N rush off R. 'O!& hesitatesL )ome on, 'o/f:

'O!& "o on without me. (O// /ead them away so you can escape.

,EAR ( wonOt /ea8e you behind.

'O!& DonOt ar7ue. ,etter me than a// of us. Now, 7o:

,EAR "ood.bye, my friend.

'O!& "et 7oin7: K,EAR eCits. #o an empty sta7eL (O// say he//o to the "reat pirit for you. KRushes off !L )ome on, %en: how me what youOre made of: K!i7hts fade to b/ac=L

cene **

K!i7hts come up on $A&&(N, ,EAR, and EA! /oo=in7 out at audience. #hey are bac= homeL

EA! Our home/and seems sma// since we tra8e/ed so far.

$A&&(N (Om sorry ( /ed you there.

,EAR 'e 7ot cau7ht up in your dream as much as you did. A// of us /on7ed for a p/ace free of %en.

$A&&(N 'e /ost &oC and 'o/f. ( can ne8er rep/ace those /i8es.

,EAR 6ou donOt ha8e to, $uffin. #hey died fo//owin7 a dream.

$A&&(N A fa/se dream.

,EAR ,ut, a beautifu/ one.

EA! (f on/y it had been true.

$A&&(N (nstead it was a ni7htmare. #he sme//, the noise, and thousands of %en. #he arm pit of nature. K$auseL ( donOt see why you donOt hate me after a// that.

EA! 'e canOt hate you for tryin7 to /ead us to a better p/ace. %en made that fa=e home/and 'o/f saw. Anythin7 touched by %en, no matter how 7ood it sounds, seems to turn bad.

$A&&(N 'ow, thatOs quite a mouthfu/ for someone your a7e.

EA! !on7 trips ma=e you 7row fast. K#hey notice ,EAR is sadL

$A&&(N 6ou sti// /oo= so sad, ,ear.

EA! ArenOt you 7/ad to be home?

,EAR ( sit here and sme// that b/ac= /iquid in the sea, that has been /eft behind. (t saddens me to thin= no where on this Earth has been /eft untouched by %en.

$A&&(N #hen, a7ain. %aybe a /itt/e farther outh there ;ust mi7ht be...

EA! $uffin.

$A&&(N orry.

EA! K!oo=in7 outL Hey, /oo=. ome %en are comin7.

$A&&(N

Oh, no. Not a7ain.

EA! #heyOre c/eanin7 up the b/ac= ;un=.

$A&&(N 'e//, sort of.

EA! #heyOre tryin7.

$A&&(N #he 'omen must ha8e made the %en come c/ean up their mess.

EA! Hurray for 'omen:

,EAR (t appears someone cares enou7h to ma=e them c/ean it up.

$A&&(N %aybe theyO// be sure to be more carefu/ neCt time or theyO// ha8e to 7o throu7h this a7ain.

EA! (s there sti// hope, ,ear?

,EAR %aybe. (f enou7h %en start carin7, (f not, weOre doomed.

EA! #hey better start carin7... K oft/yL or none of us wi// be /eft.

,EAR &or our sa=e and theirs, theyOd better watch what they do.

$A&&(N Or theyO// ha8e to answer to me. K tarts shadow boCin7 at in8isib/e opponents, trips and fa//s f/at on his faceL

,EAR "ood thin7 we ha8e $uffin to protect us.

EA!

'hat wou/d we do without him?

$A&&(N K"ets up and f/eCes his musc/esL 6ouOd shri8e/ up and die, ( suppose. K,oCes some more as the /i7hts fade to b/ac=. i/ence. (n dar=ness the how/ of a wo/f is heardL

END O& $!A6

The Owl, The Bull and the Forest

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,efore performin7 this script, you must first request permission at poco/ocop/ayersRyahoo.com or http:SSwww.7eocities.comSpoco/ocop/ayersSrequest.htm/ #he fo//owin7 requirements are for a// pub/ic performances or uses of this p/ay: *. A// pro7rams, posters, etc. shou/d ha8e the authorOs name KD. %. ,oca<.!arsonL and somethin7 that te//s about the &reedrama.com website such as T$roduced by specia/ arran7ement with www.freedrama.comT -. 'hen you comp/ete the production, mai/ a copy of the pro7ram to the roya/ty address /isted be/ow. 0. end feedbac= on the scripts inc/udin7 the run time on the p/ay Kthis is a common question ( 7et about the p/aysL, any typos you found, if you raised money for a charity with the production, and any su77estions for impro8in7 the script. #his p/ay is free for your use as /on7 as you are performin7 the p/ay for educationa/ purposes or for fund raisin7 for a non.profit or7ani<ation. (f you do not meet these

requirement, there is a U-H roya/ty per performance. NO#E: #he p/ay may not be reproduced or pub/ished in any form without written permission from the author. #he roya/ty payment can be sent 8ia http:SSwww.paypa/.com or mai/ed to: D. %. ,oca<. !arson, *4-* Encino A8e., "rants, New %eCico V4H-H A A. #han= you for se/ectin7 my script. ( hope you en;oy it. incere/y, D. %. ,oca<.!arson )ast of )haracters Ow/: An actor made up to be an ow/ whose home in a tree is disturbed by an unwe/come 8isitor. ,u//: An actor made up to be a bu// who =noc=s down trees for a /i8in7 so that he may earn food for his fami/y. K(n dar=ness, the audience hears hu7e thuds /i=e somethin7 rammin7 into a tree. !i7hts come up on a ,A!! steppin7 bac= to ram once a7ain into a tree off R. O'! comes on from off R, furiousL O'! 'hat do you thin= youOre doin7?: ,A!! (Om =noc=in7 down that tree. KAbout ready to char7e at tree a7ainL

O'! top: ,A!! 'hat? O'! #hatOs my home you want to =noc= down. ,A!!

K$u<</edL #hat tree? O'! 6es, ( /i8e in it. ,A!! Rea//y? O'! Of course. Ow/s /i8e in trees, you =now. ,A!! K"oes a/on7L Ah, yeah. Of course. Now, if youO// stand aside. ( need to =noc= down that tree. K"ets ready to char7eL O'! 'i// you /isten to me a minute?: ,A!! ure. O'! #hat tree is my home. ( /i8e in it. 'ithout it ( wou/dnOt ha8e any p/ace to /i8e. ,A!! (Om rea//y sorry, but ( sti// need to =noc= it down. O'! 'hy? ,A!! #he cat wants me to.

O'! 'hat does he want with the trees? ,A!! ( donOt =now. ( ;ust 7et my pay. ( donOt as= questions. O'! 'e//, (Om not about to /et you destroy my home because some cat to/d you to. ,A!! He 7i8es me and my fami/y a /ot of 7rain and feed to eat for e8ery tree ( =noc= down. ( canOt /et my fami/y star8e. O'! 6ou canOt destroy my home either. %y fami/y has /i8ed in this o/d tree for many, many years a/on7 with a /ot of other anima/ fami/ies. Do you want to ma=e us home/ess? ,A!! K$ersistentL (O8e 7ot to feed my fami/y. O'! )anOt you earn food for them some other way? ,A!! ( donOt =now. ( canOt rea//y do anythin7 e/se besides =noc=in7 down trees. #hatOs a// (O8e done my who/e /ife. O'! #here must be somethin7 e/se you can do. omethin7 you mi7ht e8en en;oy more. ,A!! ( /i=e to pu// the p/ow throu7h the fie/ds. O'!

ee, thereOs somethin7. ,A!! 6eah. KDreami/yL ( /o8e to dra7 that p/ow a/on7 and rip and tear up the earth. O'! O=ay, o=ay. (O8e 7ot the idea. 6ou can do somethin7 e/se. ,A!! ,ut, nothin7 pays as we// as =noc=in7 down trees. O'! #here are some thin7s more important than money in this wor/d. ,A!! !i=e what? O'! !i=e tryin7 to =eep nature the way it shou/d be. ,A!! 'e donOt chan7e it that much. O'! Remember how the nei7hborin7 forest was a// =noc=ed down? ,A!! ure ( do. #he cat sure was happy. O'! ,ut, a// those anima/s that /i8ed there had to mo8e. #heir homes were destroyed and they had to 7o far away to /i8e safe/y a7ain.

,A!! ee. #hey can a/ways find other p/aces to /i8e. O'! 'hat happens when a// the forests ha8e been =noc=ed down? ,A!! #hat wonOt happen. O'! (t mi7ht. ,A!! o, what if it does happen? O'! A// the anima/s wi// ha8e no p/ace to 7o. 'eO// ha8e to mo8e on to a p/ace far away where you or the cat canOt find us. Do you want us a// to /ea8e, ne8er to be seen a7ain? ,A!! No, ( 7uess not.

O'! 6ou ha8e to do somethin7 or e/se a// the trees wi// be 7one. #hen, neither of us wi// ha8e anythin7. ,A!! 'hat do you mean by ( wonOt ha8e anythin7. O'! Once the trees are 7one, you canOt earn food for your fami/y anymore. ,A!!

"osh. ( didnOt thin= of that. O'! 6ou need to. ,A!! 'ait. #here are p/enty of trees around. #heyO// /ast throu7h my /ife time. O'! 'hat about your chi/dren? ,A!! 'hat about them? O'! #he trees probab/y wonOt /ast throu7h their /i8es at the rate youOre 7oin7. ,A!! 'eO// ;ust p/ant more trees then. O'! (t ta=es a /on7, /on7 time for trees to 7et bi7 enou7h for some of us anima/s to /i8e in. ,A!! 'e//, itOs somethin7, isnOt it? O'! 6es, it is. ,A!! #hatOs ;ust what weO// do then. $/ant more trees. O'! (tOs not enou7h.

,A!! 'i// you stop with a// this?: 6ou thin= too much, ow/. #hatOs whatOs wron7 with you. O'! 6ou thin= too /itt/e. ,A!! ( donOt see any of this bad stuff you =eep ta/=in7 about. (tOs /i=e youOre ma=in7 it a// up or somethin7. ( donOt be/ie8e any of it. O'! 6ou stubborn bu//. 6ou may not see any prob/ems with =noc=in7 down trees. ,ut, ( do. ,A!! !i=e what?

O'! #here are not enou7h homes for them a//. &orests wi// become o8ercrowded. Anima/s wi// ha8e troub/e findin7 food. #hey need to feed their fami/ies, too. ,A!! 6eah, ( 7uess so. O'! #rees a/so ma=e c/ean air for us to breathe. ,A!! #hey do? O'! ure. ,A!!

How? O'! 'hat we breathe out, trees breathe in. 'hat trees breathe out, we breathe in. ,A!! 'ow. ( didnOt =now that. O'! #he air, trees 7i8e us, is c/ean air. (f we cut down a// the trees, the air wi// 7et a// bad and yuc=y. ,A!! Are you sure? O'! !oo= at the smo7 in cities. ,A!! 6eah. (tOs pretty 7ross. O'! 'ithout trees, a// the air wi// become so ic=y no one cou/d e8en breath it. ,A!! 'ou/d that rea//y happen? O'! (f you =noc= down a// the trees, a /ot more than that wou/d happen. ,A!! #his is a// 7ood to ta/= about, but ( sti// ha8e to wor=.

O'!

( 7uess (Od better start pac=in7. )ome on =ids... pac= your thin7s. K tarts to 7oL

,A!! 'ait. KO'! stopsL

O'! 'hat? ,A!! K#hin=s a momentL %aybe ( cou/d ;ust ta=e part of the trees and /ea8e the forest anima/s some. #hat way we both win. O'! ( donOt want to see any trees ta=en. E8ery time some are ta=en, the more dan7er our Earth wi// be in. ,A!! (O8e 7ot to /i8e. O'! 6es, you do. K#hin=s a bitL %aybe we can share, but /i=e ( said, e8ery time a tree is =noc=ed down the en8ironment wi// be in a /itt/e more dan7er. ,A!! ( =now, ( =now. #he bad air and a// that.

O'! And ha8e you noticed the temperature? ,A!! 6eah. (t seems /i=e itOs 7ettin7 hotter e8ery year. O'! #hatOs because weOre /osin7 so many trees. ,A!! (t is? How? O'! 6ou =now how ( was te//in7 you about how trees breathe in what we breathe out? ,A!! 6eah. ort of. O'! (f there arenOt enou7h trees to breathe in a /ot of what we breathe out, what we breath out ;ust han7s in the air and isnOt used. ,A!! 'hat does that ha8e to do with temperatures? O'! Heat rises from the Earth. 'hat we breathe out traps the heat and =eeps it down around us. (f there arenOt trees to breathe that air, the heat wi// stop escapin7 at a// and weO// end up /i8in7 in a 7iant steam bath. ,A!! KHis brain has had too much to thin= aboutL Oh... but winters are 7ettin7 co/der. O'!

#hatOs a// part of the same prob/em. #he warmin7 ma=es a// the weather worse... e8ery year we 7et more hurricanes and tornadoes. E8erythin7 is more eCtreme. ,u// /oo=s confused. O'! K)ont.L #his isnOt ma=in7 any sense is it?

,A!! No rea//y... O'! #hen (O8e a/ready /ost. ,A!! !oo=... ( donOt want to destroy your home. )anOt we ma=e a dea/? O'! 6ou canOt ma=e dea/s with nature... KO'! starts to 7oL ,A!! "ood.bye, Ow/. O'! "ood.bye. )ome on =ids. Ow/ can 7ather up cute /itt/e ow/ toys or if other actors are a8ai/ab/e, they can a// be cryin7 as they fo//ow Ow/ out. ,A!! K!oo=s around and says to himse/fL #he forest sure is a beautifu/ p/ace, isnOt it? %aybe this tree can stay a /itt/e /on7er. KHe smi/es and eCits ! as /i7hts fade to b/ac=

END O& $!A6

$e77y the $int i<ed $irate

A )hi/drenOs $/ay

K*2 minute 8ersion . 4 characters p/us optiona/ eCtrasL

by

D. %. ,oca<.!arson

)opyri7ht KcL -HH0 A// Ri7hts Reser8ed

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,efore performin7 this script, you must first request permission at poco/ocop/ayersRyahoo.com or http:SSwww.7eocities.comSpoco/ocop/ayersSrequest.htm/ #he script may be printed and copied for free. (f you decide to perform the p/ay and char7e admission, the requirements are be/ow: *. A// pro7rams, posters, etc. shou/d ha8e the authorOs name KD. %. ,oca<.!arsonL and somethin7 that te//s about the &reedrama.com website such as T$roduced by specia/ arran7ement with www.freedrama.comT. 'hen you comp/ete the production, mai/ a copy of the pro7ram to the roya/ty address /isted be/ow. -. #here is a U-H roya/ty for usin7 the p/ay for up to two performances. (f you perform the p/ay three or more times, the roya/ty is ;ust U*H per performance. #he roya/ty payment must be sent 8ia http:SSwww.paypa/.com. Or you may send a chec= to: D. %. ,oca<.!arson, *4-* Encino A8e., "rants, N% V4H-H. $/ease no purchase orders. NO#E: #he p/ay may not be reproduced or pub/ished in any form without written permission from the author. #han= you for se/ectin7 my script. ( hope you en;oy it. incere/y, D. %. ,oca<.!arson

)ast of )haracters

$E""6 )A%%6 . youn7 pirate who says mean thin7s to $E""6 )A$#A(N !AD"E )A$#A(N O""6 "RAN# . wise o/d pirate who spea=s mysterious/y EA %ON #ER %O% %ON #ER

EX#RA . Other pirates

cene * . A pirateOs co8e for 7ames and 7rub cene - . An is/and where the ea %onster /ur=s

)ENE *

K$E""6 is a 8ery sma// pirate 7ir/ who is anCious to be a bi7 pirate. $E""6 enters pirateOs co8e and sees $irates p/ayin7 8arious 7ames and en;oyin7 7rub. E8eryone is much bi77er than she is and she /oo=s out of p/aceL

$E""6 K#o audienceL Hi, (Om $e77y. $e77y the... 'e//, ( donOt ha8e a true pirate name yet.

)A%%6 K#o $E""6L ure you do. (tOs $e77y the $int i<ed $irate. KOthers /au7h and then 7o bac= to their 7amesL

$E""6 6es, thatOs what they ca// me. $e77y the $int i<ed $irate. ,ut (Om tired of it. ( wonOt stand for it anymore.

)A%%6 'onOt stand for it? ( thou7ht you were sittin7 down.

$E""6

(Om so tired of short ;o=es. Anyway, #oday is my bi7 day. ( fina//y was 7oin7 to be a pirate. (O8e dreamed about this day since ( was /itt/e. K )A%%6 /oo=s at herL 'e//, (Om sti// /itt/e... and (Om sti// dreamin7. ,ut fina//y the day has come. (Om 7oin7 to do it. (Om 7oin7 to be a pirate. K )A%%6 /au7hs at her and then points to )A$#A(N who enterL

)A%%6 !ine em up:

K$irates /ine up. $E""6 7ets stuc= behind the other pirates and hops around tryin7 to see. he s/ips in between two of themL

)A$#A(N O""6 'e need two crews for a treasure run to #ucson.

$E""6 #uscon?

K$E""6 7ets pushed bac= and hops around behindL

)A$#A(N !AD"E ( 7et first pic=. (\]^// ta=e ,ob the ,ra8e

K,O, happi/y /ines up behind !AD"EL

)A$#A(N O""6 (O// ta=e ue the me//y.

KE8eryone steps bac= so AE can mo8e o8er by O""6 who notices her odor. !AD"E and O""6 continue pic=in7 pirates durin7 the fo//owin7:L

$E""6 ( was so eCcited. #his was the first time ( tried out for a pirate crew. )aptain /ud7e had the fastest pirate around. E8eryone was anCious to be with /ud7e when the sea speed record of *V*- was bro=en. And then )aptain o77y was 7reat too. o77y had the on/y pirate ship that wou/d 7o underwater. Rea//y: ,ut after more and more pirates were pic=ed, ( 7ot worried because no one was pic=in7 me.

)A$#A(N !AD"E And (O// ta=e cummy the weet. K )A%%6 stic=s ton7ue out at $E""6 and /ines up with othersL #hatOs it then. K$irates a// start to ta/= and 7o with )A$#A(N L

$E""6 'ait: 'hat about me?: KE8eryone stops and stares at $E""6. #hen they /au7hL

)A%%6

No way, shrimp.

)A$#A(N O""6 K$ats $E""6 on headL %aybe when youOre bi77er.

)A%%6 Ri7ht, that wi// happen.

)A$#A(N !AD"E ,etter stay here and /et the bi7 bra8e pirates 7o. 'e donOt want you to 7et hurt.

)A$#A(N O""6 'e canOt hand/e screamin7 /itt/e 7ir/s on ships with sea monster afoot.

K$irates /ea8e and $E""6 sits by herse/f a// upsetL

$E""6 Now (O// ne8er be a pirate. K$E""6 criesL

"RAN# KO/d "RAN# entersL

'hatOs this boo.hooin7 ( hear?

$E""6 No one wants me to be a pirate. #hey thin= (Om too /itt/e.

"RAN# Do they now?

$E""6 E8eryone /au7hed at me and said (Od be scared. (Om not scared of anythin7. And ( wou/dnOt cry... K'ipes away tearsL (Om not afraid of any sea monsters. K)ries a7ainL 'ho am ( =iddin7? ( am too /itt/e.

"RAN# 6ouOre not /itt/e at a// you =now.

$E""6 'hat? )anOt you see me? (Om tiny.

"RAN#

#hereOs somethin7 ( can see thatOs bi77er than any pirate ( =now. omethin7 that youO// ha8e to see on your own.

$E""6 ( donOt 7et it. 'hat do you mean?

"RAN# "i8e it time, $e77y and youO// see.

$E""6 K#hrowin7 a fitL ,ut ( wanna be bi7 now:::::: KJumps around and screamsL

"RAN# K'aits for $E""6 to stopL &ee/ better?

$E""6 K)a/mL Actua//y, yes. #han= you.

"RAN# Bery soon youO// 7et your chance to see what you ha8e that is 7reater than most.

$E""6 'e//, (Om not mo8in7 from this spot unti/ ( find out.

"RAN# tubborn arenOt we?

$E""6 $e77y the tubborn. Naw, doesnOt sound ri7ht.

"RAN# $atience $e77y. 6our moment wi// come. K"RAN# /ea8esL

$E""6 O/d peop/e saw the weirdest thin7s. %e bein7 bi7? Now? ,ut how? o ( stayed here and waited for an answer. And it didnOt ta=e /on7.

)A%%6 KRuns inL Ahh: #he horror: #he horror:

$E""6 'hat is it, cummy?

)A%%6 ,oth ships are 7one. Destroyed.

$E""6 ,ut how?

)A%%6 #he sea monster:

$E""6 Rea//y? And the pirates cou/dnOt stop them.

)A%%6 #hey tried but the monster is too powerfu/. ,oth ships are 7one fore8er.

$E""6 How did you sur8i8e?

)A%%6 ( hid in a barre/ when ( saw the monster comin7.

$E""6

6ou hid? #hatOs not 8ery piratey.

)A%%6 $/ease donOt te//. K )A%%6 runs and hidesL

)A$#A(N !AD"E KEnters with )A$#A(N O""6L ( canOt be/ie8e our ships are 7one.

)A$#A(N O""6 And the entire crew was captured.

$E""6 'hat are you 7oin7 to do?

)A$#A(N !AD"E 'hat can we do?

)A$#A(N O""6 %aybe (O// open up a /itt/e sea side resort.

$E""6

6ou canOt 7i8e up. 'hat about your crew? 6ou must sa8e them.

)A$#A(N !AD"E orry, but (Om not 7oin7 out there a7ain. Not with that monster out there.

)A$#A(N O""6 And ( cou/d ser8e soda pop and soup with /itt/e tiny umbre//as in them.

$E""6 o youOre both a coup/e of chic=ens. K,oth )A$#A(N stop and stare at herL

)A$#A(N !AD"E 'hat did you say?

$E""6 )hic=ens. KActs /i=e a chic=enL ,roc=, broc=, broc=.

)A$#A(N O""6 ( cou/d put chic=en between two s/ices of bread. omeone showed me that on the andwich (s/ands. K)A$#A(N O""6 eCitsL

)A$#A(N !AD"E &ine. 6ou thin= youOre so bra8e. #hen you be captain and ta=e care of that sea monster yourse/f. K tic=s hu7e captain hat on $E""6 and it co8ers her headL ,est of /uc= to you, )aptain. K!au7hs and eCitsL

$E""6 K$u//s off hatL )aptain? 'as he serious? E8en if he wasnOt, it doesnOt matter. omeone has to sa8e those pirates. K"rabs )A%%6 out of hidin7L )ome on, cummy. 'eOre 7oin7 to sa8e some pirates.

)ENE -

K!i7hts come up on an is/and where the sea monster /i8es. $E""6 and )A%%6 enter. )A%%6 is terrifiedL

$E""6 ( too= a /itt/e boat with on/y cummy to he/p row. 'e fo//owed the trai/ of wrec=ed ships unti/ we made our way to this /itt/e is/and that must be the sea monsters /air.

)A%%6

( donOt thin= this is a 7ood idea, $e77y.

$E""6 6es, you said that about a hundred times on the way o8er. ,ut someone has to sa8e these pirates.

)A%%6 And what ma=es you thin= we can do it?

$E""6 ,ecause ( can do anythin7 ( put my mind to. KRoarin7 sound off sta7e. EA %ON #ER uses microphone for bi7 soundL

)A%%6 'hatOs that?

$E""6 ( donOt =now. KRoarin7 sound a7ainL

)A%%6 #here is was a7ain. KRoarin7L

!etOs 7et out of here.

$E""6 ,ut ( donOt see anythin7.

)A%%6 KA hu7e shadow appears behind them. hadow is cast usin7 a cut out behind a /i7ht or by the EA %ON #ER standin7 bein7 a spot/i7ht. )A%%6 sees itL Ahh: Run: K )A%%6 runsL

$E""6 cummy: "et bac= here. K$E""6 stands ready and faces the shadowL ( 7uess itOs up to me. K,ra8e/y ca//s outL how yourse/f sea monster. (Om ready for you:

EA %ON #ER KRoars. OffL 6ou better run /itt/e pirate before ( eat you.

$E""6

No, you better run before ( eat you.

EA %ON #ER KOffL 'hat? 6ou canOt eat me.

$E""6 ( can eat anythin7 ( want.

EA %ON #ER KEnters. EA %ON #ER is not much bi77er than $E""6. EA %ON #ER can be in a costume with one or two actors inside. (f two actors are in costume, one is the head and the other wor=s the hind end and tai/L 'hy arenOt you scared?

$E""6 Hey: 6ouOre ;ust a /itt/e 7uy.

EA %ON #ER Asua//y the shadow scares most of them away.

$E""6 How did you do that?

EA %ON #ER Ancient sea monster secret.

$E""6 )ome on, you can te// me.

EA %ON #ER 6ouOre a pirate. ( canOt te// you.

$E""6 K$roudL Hey, no body has e8er ca//ed me a pirate before.

EA %ON #ER #hat wasnOt a comp/iment.

$E""6 o whatOs the dea/? How can a /itt/e monster /i=e you defeat a// those pirates?

EA %ON #ER Oh, that isnOt me. #hatOs my mama. heOs the one who destroys a// those ships.

$E""6 And she captured a// those pirates?

EA %ON #ER 6es.

$E""6 #hen ( need to ta/= to her.

EA %ON #ER 6ou canOt do that.

$E""6 'hy not?

EA %ON #ER he wonOt ta/= to you. heO// ;ust capture you and torture you /i=e the others.

$E""6 #orture?: #hatOs terrib/e.

EA %ON #ER #hey are 7ettin7 what they deser8e.

$E""6

( wonOt hear of it. #a=e me to them or e/se.

EA %ON #ER Or e/se what?

$E""6 (... (...

EA %ON #ER 6ou... you... what?

$E""6 ( wonOt te// you my secret.

EA %ON #ER ecret? 'hat secret?

$E""6 K#o audienceL ea monsters canOt resist a 7ood secret. K#o EA %ON #ERL (O// te// you if you ta=e me to your mama.

EA %ON #ER

"i8e me a hint:

$E""6 Nope. Not unti/ ( see your mama.

EA %ON #ER Not one /itt/e hint?

$E""6 orry.

EA %ON #ER &ine. (O// ta=e you to %ama. heO// ;ust capture thou7h. he wonOt te// you anythin7. &o//ow me.

)A%%6 K nea=s up on them and stabs EA %ON #ER in the foot with a stic=L Ha: ( 7ot you.

EA %ON #ER Ow: KHops around in painL

$E""6

cummy: 'hat ha8e you done?

)A%%6 (O8e defeated the sea monster:

$E""6 ,ut if you hurt the sea monster, we wonOt =now where the pirates were ta=en.

)A%%6 Oh.

EA %ON #ER 'ho po=ed me? #hat hurts:

)A%%6 K$oints to $E""6L he did it. K )A%%6 runsL

EA %ON #ER )ome bac= here. ( =now a /itt/e /iar when ( see one. K#a=es a step and how/s in painL

$E""6 Here, /et me he/p you.

EA %ON #ER 'hy wou/d you want to do that?

$E""6 'e//... ( do want you to show me where the pirates are... but...

EA %ON #ER ,ut what?

$E""6 ( =ind of /i=e you too.

EA %ON #ER 6ou do?

$E""6 ( =now pirates arenOt supposed to /i=e sea monsters, but ( do =ind of /i=e you.

EA %ON #ER And why is that?

$E""6 ,ecause youOre /itt/e and youOre so bi7 a// at the same time. ( wish ( cou/d be as bra8e and stron7 as you.

EA %ON #ER ( donOt fee/ so bra8e and stron7 with this stic= in my foot. KHow/s in painL

$E""6 Here, /et me he/p with that.

EA %ON #ER K%o8es awayL No.

$E""6 )ome on.

EA %ON #ER No, itOs 7onna hurt.

$E""6 DonOt be a baby. !et me 7et it.

EA %ON #ER &ine, but ( canOt /oo=.

$E""6 On the count of three (O// pu// it out. Ready?

EA %ON #ER Ready.

$E""6 One, two... K$u//s out stic=L

EA %ON #ER ...whereOs three. K!oo=sL

$E""6 tic=Os out. ee, it wasnOt that bad was it.

EA %ON #ER K!oo=s at stic= then how/sL

Ow:

$E""6 'hat? 'hat?

EA %ON #ER Now it hurts. De/ayed reaction.

$E""6 DonOt be si//y. (tOs a// in your head.

EA %ON #ER 6ou thin= so?

$E""6 ( =now so.

EA %ON #ER ( 7uess itOs not that bad.

$E""6 "ood. Now ta=e me to your mama.

EA %ON #ER Ah, $e77y. KHu7e shadow /ooms up behind $E""6. %A%A %ON #ER can remain a shadow un/ess a production bud7et a//ows for a /ar7e monster head to appear on sta7e but this is unnecessary. A shadow cast by a cutout in a /i7ht wi// wor= with the 8oice of %A%A %ON #ER on microphoneL

$E""6 6es?

EA %ON #ER heOs here.

%A%A %ON #ER He//o, baby. Did you capture another pirate?

EA %ON #ER 'e//, not rea//y. #his is $e77y. he wants to ta/= to you.

%A%A %ON #ER #a/= to me? 'hy?

$E""6 ( want you to re/ease a// those pirates you captured. %A%A %ON #ER

'hy?

$E""6 ,ecause what did they do to you?

%A%A %ON #ER #hey ha8e made a 7arba7e dump of the sea.

$E""6 6ouOre mad at them because they /itter.

EA %ON #ER $irates ma=e a /ot of trash.

$E""6 ,ut youOre po//utin7 the sea with bro=en pirate ships.

%A%A %ON #ER "ood point. 6ouOre a smart /itt/e one.

$E""6 ( 7uess ( ma=e up for si<e with brains. #hat must be what that o/d coot meant. %y brains: #hey must be bi77er than any pirates.

EA %ON #ER #hatOs not sayin7 much. ( thin= my ear waC is smarter than most pirates.

$E""6 o what did you do with the pirates?

%A%A %ON #ER 'eOre ma=in7 them pic= up a// the /itter theyO8e made.

EA %ON #ER And that cou/d ta=e a /on7 time. #heyO8e /ittered a /ot.

$E""6 ( promise that they wi// ne8er /itter a7ain if you /et them 7o.

%A%A %ON #ER )an ( trust you? 6ou\]^re a pirate.

EA %ON #ER heOs not /i=e other pirates, %ama. he he/ped me when ( was hurt. he is a/so my friend.

$E""6 Rea//y?

EA %ON #ER Rea//y, rea//y.

%A%A %ON #ER $irates: K$(RA#E rush out and crowd to7ether sha=in7 in fearL (O// /et them 7o, but ( don\]^t want to see any more /itter. K$(RA#E sha=e head noL "ood.bye $e77y $irate. ( wish a// pirates were /i=e you. K hadows fadesL

EA %ON #ER "ood.bye, $e77y.

$E""6 'i// ( see you a7ain?

EA %ON #ER 6ou bet. K )A%%6 s/in=s in cautious/y. )A$#A(N !AD"E and )A$#A(N O""6 fo//ow. )A$#A(N happi/y 7reet $(RA#E L Just donOt brin7 that thin7 with you. K EA %ON #ER eCitsL

)A%%6 K ees $(RA#E L 'hat happened?

$E""6 #hey set the pirates free.

)A%%6 6ou sa8ed them.

)A$#A(N !AD"E ( ne8er thou7ht such a /itt/e pirate cou/d do such a bi7 thin7.

)A$#A(N O""6 How wou/d you /i=e to be my first mate?

)A$#A(N !AD"E #hree cheers for $e77y.

$(RA#E Hip.hip.hurray: Hip.hip.hurray: Hip.hip.hurray:

$E""6 #han= you a// of you. ,ut this means no more /itter. K$(RA#E nods in a7reementL

)A$#A(N !AD"E !etOs 7o, you scur8y do7s. K$E""6 watches $(RA#E 7o with )A$#A(N . )A$#A(N O""6 tosses some /itter in front of her. $E""6Os ;aw drop when she sees the spot where they were standin7. (tOs fu// of /itterL

$E""6 ( see my wor= is cut out for me.

END O& $!A6 #HE ,O6 'HO )R(ED "EN(E from freedrama.com

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Emai/ poco/ocop/ayersRyahoo.com for permission to perform the script. &ind more p/ays at freedrama.com )A # O& )HARA)#ER : * ma/e: Derre= 2 fema/es: "enie, "ir/, 5ombie, 'oman Y8ampireZ, Jesi

(N#. )omputer !ab. Day. DERE>, a coo/, confident 7uy, enters the /ab. JE (, a shy, nerdy 7a/, /oo=s /i=e she wants to ta/= to him but can on/y mana7e a whisper. Jesi Hi. Dere= doesnOt hear her and 7oes to a computer to start wor=. Jesi rushes out a// embarrassed. Dere= finds a cd stuc= in the computer. (t comes out and it is 7/owin7 Y!i7ht shines on itZ. He /oo=s at it and rubs it. A puff of smo=e Yfo7 machineZ f/ows in and a "enie steps in with it. "ENie 'hat do you want? dere= 'hat? 'ho are you? Dere= /owers the cd and sees the "enie. "EN(E (Om a 7enie. he wa8es her hands and more smo=e appears. DERE> A 7enie? "EN(E 6eah, yeah. 6ou =now the dri//. DERE> )oo/. Oh, ( =now what ( want. ( want the perfect 7ir/. "EN(E As you wish... o... does that mean ( 7et three wishes?

)enie !isappears into the s4oke CeDitsE an! )'R1 appears, acting 3ery yo/ng, "icking a "o""ipop an! =/4ping /p an! !o n eDcite!. )'R1 ,i, "etFs p"ay. Dere= turns /oo=in7 for the "enie. DERE> No, no, no. "enie appears and 4akes )'R1 !isappear CeDitsE. "EN(E 6ou did as= for a 7ir/. Dere= ( want someone much o/der than that. "EN(E As you wish... )enie !isappears CeDitsE an! ?O&B'+ appears. D+R+G (ot that o"!H )enie 4akes ?o46ie !isappear CeDitsE. "EN(E 6ouOre down to one wish... ma=e it 7ood. DERE> 'hat? Oh, man. O=ay. ( want the perfect woman is my a7e, beautifu/ and sharp. "EN(E 6ou 7ot it.

)enie !isappears an! a 6ea/tif/" 5O&.( appears. She co4es /p to hi4 an! he s4i"es. She crosses 6ehin! hi4. She p/shes 6ack her hair an! e see her pointe! ears an! she 6ares her fangs. o4an 5ant to neckI Derek s4i"es 6ig an! t/rns an! sees her fangs co4e at hi4. ,e screa4s. D+R+G )enieH 5O&.( !isappears an! )enie appears an! sighs. DERE> Kcont.L 6ou ruined a// my wishes: "EN(E 'ishes are not the =ey to your happiness. "enie disappears and Dere= fa//s into a chair. Jesi returns. Dere= and touches him on the shou/der and he ;umps. JE ( (Om sorry. Ha8e you seen my =eys. DERE> >eys? JE ( Here they are. DERE> Hey, whatOs your name? JE ( Jesi. And youOre Dere=. he ner8ous/y approaches

DERE> 6ou wor= in the /ab in the mornin7s huh? JE ( Ah.huh. 6ou want my emai/? (n case you need to as= me somethin7... about the /ab. DERE> No one e8er comes in the /ab durin7 my shift. 6ou want to stay and han7 out? JE ( ure, (Od /i=e that. "enie appears on the computer screen and win=s Ythis can be a 8ideo on a /ar7e computer screen or a pro;ected ima7e onto a screen . if neither of these are possib/e you can end on the abo8e /ineZ. Jesi Kcont.L 'hat was that? DERE> ome computer 8irus. JE ( ( =now this 7reat anti.8irus software... /et me show you. (t wor=s /i=e ma7ic. END OF SCRI T