Though Time has been seemingly maintaining a steady, uncompromising pace, ever since the beginning of time; cause

and effect; moment to moment; day in, day out, it also cheats when youre not looking. Time tends to fly in retrospective, so it still feels like youve only started drifting no more than a heartbeat ago. Yet, on those rare occasions, when the mind does manage to stitch all these fragmented bits and bouts you carry around in your sack, the result is a technicolored fabric already eight years in length. When you needed money, you simply climbed back on the wagon in some sort of a country where quick cash could be earned without too much hassle. When you came across a place you liked, you ust pitched a tent for as long as you were happy there. When it felt like it was time to go, you left obs, friends and lovers behind and hit the road. !ometimes, things went your way, and sometimes, you went their way. "or, at the end of the day, fortune has a way of spinning things around. #ight years down the road, you found yourself at yet another crossroads, as one e$piring visa forced you out of %ussia, while a second, denied visa kept you from entering &hina. Thus, caught between the hummer and the sickle, fortune ended up pulling a wildcard out of its sleeve, landing you in 'apan, with an ine$plicable urge to e$plore everything that is 'apanese; an urge youd very much like to scratch. "rom (iigata, central )onshu, about two and a half hours away by ferry, lies !ado *sland, a perfect microcosm for e$perimentation. + short tour of the island may clarify ust how well hitchhiking work round here, plus whether its humanly possible to endure sleeping outdoors; spending the chilly nights on a trusty hammock; your best amigo. ,riginally hand woven in the -e$ican city of -erida, this remarkable hammock first ourneyed to #urope, all the way across the +tlantic ,cean, only to be given to you as a most welcomed birthday gift by a friend in )olland. With its cherry barely popped, an invasive *talian backpacker had already torn it a new hole at a hostel in .ene/ia, whilst piercing your very heart as in the process. Though you immediately kicked his sandaled ass off the hammock, it was nevertheless clear that a

tear like that would mean the beginning of the end for even the strongest of hammocks. )owever, thanks to your attention and care, periodically braiding and fastening the netted fabric, so as to keep the tear from widening, it still lives to this very day. The years have passed, and finally the both of you ended up roaming together across !candinavia, the vast !iberian wilderness and the !ea of 'apan, completing a round0the0 world ourney, all the way from its 1atin0+merican birthplace and back to the shores of the 2acific ,cean. Take but a single step off the ferry, and youre in %y3tsu 4ay, a sleepy port town that was originally a fishing village of coiled nets and fishy odors, neatly tucked in between the two mountain ranges that form !ado *sland. Your journey starts here, you reali/e, as you take the subsequent steps out of the port and across town, and where it ends is a complete unknown. &louded by obscurity, you drag your feet across backstreets of rickety wooden houses. #$hilarated by the thought, you pass by a traditional drumming school on its outskirts, pause, listen and, all of a sudden, are transfi$ed by ceremonial folk rhythm; by the combined beats of a multitude of hearts, echoing off the walls of a hollow, which opens into the 5uninaka 2lain. !everal minutes later, a car simply pulls over, without you as much as lifting a thumb, and a courteous driver offers you a ride. Together you cross the green plain, covered in rice fields, sprinkled with tiny shrines and enclosed by the two rocky eruptions, which shaped this island into a gigantic, dwarfish battle a$e. You attempt to communicate with your host, but he ust smiles and nods bashfully. +nd so, you settle for smiling and nodding back, making at least a decent effort to wordlessly communicate your appreciation. (ight begins to fall as you reach !ado &ity, where you arigato1 the guy, who in turn smiles, nods and drives off. You stroll around, with the backpack weighing you down, until you locate a small grove on the outskirts of town. *f this should work, it might be but the first of numerous nights you shall be spending on your hammock; cocooned

Thank you 7'apanese8

inside the sleeping bag and with more and more layers of clothing added, as the autumn shall age in days and decline in warmth. With a pack of 1ucky !trike in one pocket, torchlight in the other and the rest of your backpack stashed underneath the hammock, you end up sleeping like a freshly born baby, casually waking up shortly before noon the ne$t day, grateful in your heart for the isolation even a few trees can offer from inquisitive eyes. The ne$t night you spend swinging inside a humble fishing shed, dreaming of mermaids in very short kimonos, and wake up only when the fishermen have already begun unloading the days catch. %ides are easy to catch and folks remarkably courteous, yet quite rarely speak a word of #nglish. You can improvise though, learn a few key words, smile and nod a lot, and soon enough are able to engage in lengthy conversations with your hosts, largely based on nothing but commonsense. Your last ride takes you along a steep ridge, secured with enormous iron nets, which the local farmers use primarily for hanging their rice plants to dry. Thus, you travel across the 5asado mountain range, back towards %y3tsu 4ay. Your hike0givers are an aging father and his fetching daughter, who also turns out to be the very first decent #nglish speaker youve had the good fortune of coming across. 9When you get to Tokyo, you can call me,: she proposes, while her dad is answering a call of nature at a service station, and hastily writes down her number on a napkin. Not too bad for three days work, huh, you conclude. Got plenty of rides, slept well without paying any n e!en got a sure thing in store for when you get to "okyo, ya# wide eyed de!il you. +nd with such an optimistic evaluation of future prospects, why, only a fool would not be raising his thumb once again, allowing fortune to sweep him off his feet. +nd you may be many things, but fool sure aint one of them. ;;; *n 'apan, every mountain is sacred, every mountain is san.

You go up a long cable car ride, and when you get to the top, you comprehend why. The view is out of this world, taking in all the surrounding valleys, covered in patched rice fields and bamboo villages and sprinkled with tiny shrines; a hori/on0to0hori/on carpeting, under the sturdy feet of equally sacred hills, erupting from the earth as if erected by some mystical variety of monster ants. You walk along the trail, so neatly laid and maintained; railed with strips of wood or concrete, that its hardly surprising to come across elegant women in high heel shoes, as they return from their pilgrimage. Thinking back, you probably should have noticed everyone else was already making their way back from the shrine, smiling and nodding as they passed you by. *gnorantly blissful instead, you simply nodded back and carried on wandering around the summit, taking in the tender colors of the early autumn leaves. -elting with delight, you happen to reach a splendid viewpoint, ust as the sun begins to set on the hori/on in an orgasmic display of colors, smeared across the sky in a grandiose blast of crimsonness. 1ong have you been desiring to put together a photography book of the most magnificent sunsets captured at veritable locations around the globe. Yet, whenever you come across one, you never seem to have your camera at hand. 1uckily enough, though, you do happen to have your camera with you this time. +nd so, another ma estic sunset is documented for future generations with the touch of a button. 4y the dim residue of light, still lagging behind an already retired day, you attempt to find your way back to the cable car station. $t has been a long while since we#!e last had a real con!ersation with a fellow human being, you come to reali/e. Not to mention physical contact, for that matter. (evertheless, you also fail to feel as lonesome as is to be e$pected for that. %ust#!e gotten yourself real used to being alone by now, huh. &here ha!e the jolly days of tra!eling 'outh (merica in great herds of gra)ers and gee)ers gone* Though you know damn well where theyve all gone 0 back home, each and every one of them; ended up oining the <real world years ago, while you ust kept on drifting.

+ second thing you soon come to reali/e, once you finally reach the cable car station, is that the cable is all too still, the cars all too motionless and the station itself, the key to your safe descent, all too closed. (ot such a great scenario for a guy whos stuck up here with nothing but a thin coat, his torchlight and a pack of ciggies. Well, at least you can light one up and e$amine the situation. No freakin# chance we#d be able to endure a whole night up here in this weather+ you conclude. ,nly thing is to start descending along the cable route and pray you shant end up breaking a leg or two. Therefore, you begin to follow a snaky path running right underneath the cable in the sky, struggling to keep one foot in front of the other while the mind drifts in contemplation on the sub ect of hitchhiking. The thing about hitchhiking is that you can never predict how long it might take to get where youre going. Today, for e$ample, you simply arrived at the foot of this mountain too damn late. The only thing to do is to try and improve your ride0catching technique, while at the same time working at acceptance of things as they turn out to be. The path is rough, long and winding, non0e$istent at times, abruptly terminating at cliff edges and dead ends, rolling you down steep slopes and through thick vegetation. (onetheless, you find yourself surprisingly more e$hilarated than youve been in a long while. =uess getting lost really is what its all about> When it starts raining, you find cover under a tree, and when that tree gets wet through, you ust get under another one. When you get hungry, you start nibbling on pine nuts; when you get bored, you start whistling show tunes, and three hours later, you finally reach the base station, inside which you previously left your backpack. (ow all you need to do is find an open window, squee/e yourself in and spend the night indoors, tucked inside your sleeping bag, until the operators will show up the ne$t morning. Too groggy to react, they ust stare at a western devil, who offers them a wide smile, a quick nod and buggers off, even before their aws hit the floor. ;;;

+fter a couple of dusty days on the road and sweaty nights on your hammock, you decide its high time to give yourself a good scrub, if only out of sheer regard for the kind people willing to endure your body odor inside their nice cars. You once spoke to an e$perienced traveler, ust before you yourself first set out on your own nomadic path, and asked him to share something of his accumulated insight with a youth eager to follow in similar footsteps. 9'ust make sure you take a shower every day>: was his somewhat disappointing pearl of wisdom. (evertheless, that pearl seems to glitter more vividly with each passing year you yourself are spending on the road; having e$perienced, in the flesh, ust how easy it is to let yourself go under such circumstances. +s it happens, there is a hot spring bathing facility, referred to as onsen in 'apanese, a couple of kilometers down the road. !ince you can only afford to sleep and shower in the, relatively speaking, cheapest establishments this mighty e$pensive country has to offer, and only once every three to four days at that, these facilities are a perfect solution for maintaining the decency of your personal hygiene. These affluent halls of pleasure offer all the imaginable delights one could get out of scorching hot water, erupting from the bosom of our mother earth. &entered around a big heated pool are smaller pools of various degrees of temperature, with buckets for splashing water on your body, taps for head and feet, a sauna room and an icy cold pool, always clean, quiet and rela$ing to the level of comatose. ?nfortunately, these onsens operate on a strictly traditional, segregated moral code. Therefore, you never get to ogle any unclothed women while in there, no matter how much you may be desiring to do ust that. *nstead, you find yourself thrown into this marble den that is filled with the most properly tamed lions. With each and every other man in the hall attempting to keep his genitals discreetly covered with a white tea towel, they simply are not, however, able to resist a sneak peek at your private parts, no matter how hard you try to master the use of that tiny towel. &uriosity, it seems, is the one thing that might bring these big cats to e$tinction. 4efore an ample hike0giver bought you one of these white tea towels, your first several visits to all kinds of onsens were characteri/ed by cluelessness @ fig0leaflessness. 4eing the only traditionally permitted accessory, you were left completely in the nude,

sub ected to various oddities from the part of masters in the art of politely averting their eyes, while managing a full intake of all youve got to offer. Then again, once youve managed several glimpses at what theyve got on display, you couldnt help but feel better hung than youve ever felt in your entire life. +fter all, wasnt it #instein who said everythings relative in this worldA ;;;

%ight underneath your feet, the roaring elements, which made, in their grandeur, this turbulent wonder that is )okkaido, are constantly at work, keeping the land so rigid and fuming, that it feels as though it might erupt at any minute. 5agi0Tsuchis B epic steam bath, once erected in behalf of mighty gods, is forever steaming, pushing and tearing at the very rocks underneath your feet. +t a certain point, what began as a stroll through a site of some recent volcanic activity, turned into a hike through uncharted territory, for the sole purpose of avoiding the !isyphean necessity of backtracking the one and only path through this twisted land. +t another, undetermined point, that hike through fields and across ditches turned into a conscious attempt to get completely and utterly lost. !urprisingly enough, you now find yourself without the slightest idea where you are. What you do have is an intuitive feeling that the town you would like to reach before sunset is right behind this monstrous erection of a hill, now blocking your entire world view. &overed from base to peak in savage vegetation, you cannot even begin to tell how steep this hill might be. +nd so, you decide the only way to find out is to storm it first and ask questions later, only once youve conquered the invisible summit. )alf an hour later, what began as a pleasant hike up a moderate hillside turns into a fierce struggle up a steep, muddy slope. =rabbing at tree trunks, pulling at bushes and tall grass, you follow the only progressional course 0 a dried up creek leading upwards.

The blacksmith god of fire

4y the time the e$hilaration runs out, leaving an e$hausted lunatic kicking at slippery soil, youve already ascended way too far to turn back. +nd so, you keep on advancing, until the slope becomes too steep and the vegetation too thin to allow for further erect advancement. When, with every second step you take, you end up slipping a couple of steps back, you result to hands as well as knees, and mount the rest of the hill on all fours. 1ike a wounded beast, you finally collapse at the hilltop. 4efore your eyes, by the dim light of dust, a shifting cloud of vapor covers a vast, cracked and twisted plateau. The lost world in all its primordiality is visible to you alone. 1ike +dam, with a full set of ribs, you alone stand witness to the awe inspiring forces of creation, with no one to share in the moment. #' no good that a man should be alone all this time, you reckon. (fter all, what good is an impression if you ne!er get to impress anyone with it* ,nce youve caught your breath and regained your strength, though, you must also cut your meditation short, so as to start hurrying down this slippery slope; make your way back to civili/ation, or else darkness shall cover the land and youll be fucked. When youll finally manage to reach the plateau, you will be able to use your torchlight in order to avoid the fuming cracks and bubbling mud pots, make your way back into town and successfully locate your ryokan.C + shapely rib to cuddle with or not, you at least shall have a comfy straw mattress to sleep on tonight. 2hotos once again neglected or not, this 'urassic mental picture of primordial mayhem and turmoil will surely remain with you, no matter how much more lost you yourself might succeed in getting. ;;; +utumn has long ago swept the land with its bree/y brushes, painting each and every leaf on each and every tree with each and every possible color. ,nly a nature so gentle, so soothing to the eye, can give birth to a culture so gentle, so soothing to the mind.

traditional 'apanese inn

"lowers are arranged to perfection. Take a single petal away, and the entire effect shall fail. Trees patiently tamed to perfection, bind down to their miniature si/e without losing any of their natural distinctiveness. ,nly masterful needlework can create such gentle clothes, in such a soothing array of dyes. #ven the sheer visual aspect of the written word is brought to such perfection, that it transcends even its own meaning. *t warms the cockles of your heart to spend the entire day surrounded by all these cultural wonders; by fine arts as well as performances of traditional dances, of rhythmic ceremonies and displayers of martial arts. Then again, while your heart might be kept warm, the rest of you is still sub ect to the autumn winds; to the seasonal chill. Therefore, by evening time, all you are really longing for is a warm shelter from the unforgiving elements, and possibly a cup of tea. 1uckily enough, thats e$actly what you get. +s you walk past a hut on the outskirts of the arts and culture village, a smiling old woman, dressed in a lovely blue kimono, bows her head and signals you with her hand to step in. =ratefully obliging her, you find yourself inside a large empty room, with walls literally paper thin and a floor covered with straw. +midst a great array of colorful pots, bowls, trays, bo$es, scoops, whisks and water containers stands a metal bra/ier, behind which a younger maiden, in a lovely green kimono, is kneeling. +round the room, a group of 'apanese visitors are already seated, and as you take your place among them, the ceremony begins. You quietly observe, as the bra/ier is fed with perfectly shaped coal. With graceful movements, the girl in green fans the flame, while arranging the numerous dishes to one side. + while later, a kettle is filled several times, with water from several containers, using several scoops, and is then empted into several buckets, until finally placed on top of the bra/ier for several minutes. You watch with fascination, as the water slowly comes to a boil. With flowing movements the girl in green keeps fanning, while rearranging the dishes to the other side. + long while later, she hovers back to her original position and fills a single pot with boiling water. That water passes from pot to pot, to bowl, to tray, to container, again and again, until you feel your own mind becoming numb.

You watch with growing frustration, as each bowl is again being rinsed several times, to each of the four winds, three dimensions, two sides to each tray and a single cup of tea has yet to have emerged. 4y the time the very first scoop of tea powder is introduced into the process, you are already drooling at the mouth. Trembling with anticipation, you sit and stare, as she slides in perfect choreography, knees rising and falling, hands whisking, pouring, purifying, twisting and turning, and finally produces a single bowl of thick green liquid; a touch of heavenly tea. +n eternity goes by, before a tray is rinsed and passed around, baring this divine brew of endless toil. You can almost taste its smooth te$ture, as it reaches the first guest. ?nfortunately, it quickly turns sour in your mouth, as he empties the entire bowl in one go, while a scream of agony nearly escapes your trembling lips. The entire process begins from scratch, right in front of your very eyes, with dishes rearranged, bowls rewashed and girls in green resuming an endless flight of the bumble tea. #' just a bloody cup of tea+ you finally break down in inner despair. (ll $ e!er wanted was a nice cup of tea, for crying out loud+ ;;; *t is raining %anekinekos and ,itsunes,D by the time your ride arrives at !endai. Your courteous host throws in a complementary spin along the coastline, allowing a splendid overview of the numerous tiny islands, covered in feral green vegetation; of the stormy dark blue ocean turning into white foamy surfs, as it continuously splashes against the black surface of the rocks, under the ominous purple sky. ,nce within the safety of a Youth )ostel, you leniently allow yourself a nice, long hot shower, thanking your good fortune for not being forced to spend this stormy night at the mercy of the elements. While sipping complimentary green tea, as always relaying on your own supply of sugar bags for added flavor, you are reminded of this cute little angel you met back in )okkaido, sensing a growing inclination to stop at her house for a prolonged visit.
D

"ortune &ats and -ischievous "o$es 7'apanese8

When the rain finally stops, you hit the town in search of cheap feeding. *nstead of scavenging, though, you find yourself swept off by a violent attack of Yellow "ever E an overwhelming randiness, caused by an overpowering desire to have wild monkey se$ with each and every amber beauty you see around you. "eeling weak at the knees and limp everywhere else, you soon collapse onto a wet bench, where you struggle to contain yourself. These beautiful crescent eyes, soft features, breasts easily capped with a single palm and tiny skirts all around. 1egs so bent, for a constant want to hide their panties from shameless sneak0peekers while riding their bikes or the public transportation. Teeth so crooked, that dental catastrophes have actually emerged on the kawaii- side of social norms. You want them all, you want them now, but you aint getting any. *nstead of wallowing in se$ual frustration, you decide to catch a movie, once the fever has subsided and youve finally managed a decent control over your bonerism. ,ill .ill/ 0ol. $, Tarantinos brand new flick, is showing in the local cinemas. You cough up for a ticket, grab a front row seat and e$citedly await another masterpiece of cool fiction from one of your favorite film makers. (evertheless, soon after the lights goes off, and ust as you reali/e what a bastard this 4ill really is, 4lack -amba ends up in 'apan, and for about half the movie everything is in unnarrated 'apanese. (ormally * wouldnt mind, but as it happens, therere obviously no #nglish subtitles for the only Gaijin1 in the house. !oon enough though, everyone else becomes as bewildered as you, for in his eagerness to imitate the 'apanese film style, dear Fuentin had so many limbs severed and so much blood splashed all over the place, that when the lights turn back on, the entire audience, sons and daughters of this said culture, is equally speechless. %eali/ing youve ust missed the last metro, you convince a bunch of youngsters to drop you off back at your hostel. These cra/y eighty eight speed through the rainy streets like theres no tomorrow, sliding curves and whi//ing through traffic. The second the car door swings open, those of us lucky enough to still ha!e our li!es, take them with us and never look back.

G H

&ute 7'apanese8 "oreigner 7same8

;;; 4y the time you finally locate a proper grove, on the outskirts of the castle town of )ime i, the fallen night is pitch dark, as still as death and all together dreary. You easily manage your hammock, for by now youre already capable of stringing it up blindfolded if need be, but must take into account the oppressive clouds, which have been depriving the passing day of most of its warmth. "or precisely that reason, youve previously sought and acquired a tarpaulin; a large sheet of strong, fle$ible, waterproof plastic of a sort, with reinforced grommets. ,nly thing is that putting that tricky mother up in the dark can be a real bitch sometimes. Torch in mouth, you struggle with the feeble ropes, pulling in various directions without ever finding suitable trees in range to tie the ropes to. You tread in the mud, swear in a multitude of languages, drop the flashlight, then swear some more. 2ust remember that anything you may lose in the dark could be found with the help of a torchlight, you remind yourself. "hat is, e3cept for the torchlight itself. The days been long, the castle huge, and the hike all the way out here took whatever little strength and patience you might have had left in you. "inally, you settle for a significantly less than perfect infrastructure, crawl into your sleeping bag, layered with each and every piece of clothing youve got with you, light up one last cigarette, and are impersonating a sawmill even before the ash hits the ground. !ometime in the middle of the night, it starts rainingI !ooner or later, you wake up, become semiconscious of the fact that the cover had been retaining water, but are too knackered to do anything about it, other than shut your eyes and make the problem go away. 'ust before dawn, at the coldest hour of the night, you shiver onto the bridge between the realm of the sandman and the domain of the rain0man. *t has been raining continuously and your cover looks like a huge water balloon, about to burst. *f you fiddle with it, itll surely spill, if you get yourself away from it, the rain0man will get you.

1ike a deer caught in the headlights, you free/e. + moment later, one of the ropes snaps and a massive gale of water descends upon you, all your clothes, the sleeping bag, the hammock and your entire backpack underneath it. You sit up and reach into your pocket, but even your cigarettes are soaked, leaving you capable of nothing more than ust sulking there, drenched, shivering and in the foulest of moods, until the sun shall rise. -eanwhile, the rain ust keeps on falling on your head, steadily making its never0 ending way towards an ocean that is never full. ;;; With days dripping of honey behind you, these current days bear an onion stench so vivid, it brings tears into your eyes. With hours on end by the side of the road, this day shall not bring you any closer to your destination, unless you take your destiny into your own hands. 94ift the moist backpack onto your shoulders, oh tra!eler of roads less tra!eled, gi!e fortune the finger and hop on the ne3t train to 5iroshima. ,f course, you cannot possibly afford the fare for the entire ride, yet are able to board the train with a single stop ticket and simply stay on. Yep, youve got a ticket to ride, and thats all that matters. *n the country of the righteous, a crooked man is king. 1ucky for you, the last station before the big city is a countryside terminus station, which allows an easy, if not altogether legit, e$it a few steps down the rails for those who seek it. +ll thats left is to reenter, buy a single stop ticket, board the ne$t train and youre in )iroshima, safe, sound and legal. 5ell, a man#s gotta do what a man#s gotta do, in order to get around in this world. *n this case, after three whole months of legitimately hitchhiking all around 'apan, thats simply what youve gotta do. 1ife aint a bed of roses for any of us, and an outskirter is no e$ception. !ome days all you wish for is a bed to call your own, a house instead of that hunchback of yours and to simply be able to fit in, or at least not stand out like a purple

rumped baboon. Youre tired of the constant need to resort to invisibility, ust so people wouldnt be probing you like a goddamn alien. Youd like to have enough money to do whatever you want whenever you want it, and are even willing to allow yourself to be enslaved by the habitual work ethic; to be imprisoned in fear of choice and change inflicted by oppressive traditionalism. 4ut then again, you often wake up the very ne$t day in an entirely different place, surrounded by strange and e$citing people and looking into a future full of new possibilities. Thats when you reali/e that, though its all the same same, its also completely different, and that your greatest treasure is "reedom; freedom to be who you are, to see things as you choose to see them and to live life the way you want. With that in mind you step out of the station, and into a city that symboli/es new beginnings, emerging like a phoeni$ out of the ashes of traditional oppression. ,ut in the distance, the 2eace -emorial stands tall and proud, a reminder of a horrendous past; a hope of bettering the future. The entire city is a museum of "reedom, though somewhat lacking in %esponsibility, it seems. You wouldnt have made it here any other way, and wouldnt have liked to either. Whether from here you shall continue your ourney into &hina, or head back to your little geisha and her warm house in the country, the choice is entirely yours. "or in your heart you know no choice can ever be a wrong one, ust as long as you, and you alone, make that choice.