DRIVER

C: ( All rights reserved)

David William Kirby

Driver
Copyyright David William Kirby 2009
C: The Dogbreaths Publishing

A play

Dwkglynrde5@yahoo.co.uk
Cover Picture kindly reproduced
By
TRADEMARK/HEAVEN

All characters are fictional

Any resemblance to persons
Living or dead is co-incidental

DRIVER.
c: The Dogbreaths Publishing.weebly.com
(

SCENE ONE INT NIGHT

(We focus upon the face of a woman, she is gagged
and tied. There is a look of terror on her face.
A steel blade flashes in the light.)
SCENE 2 EXT NIGHT
(We are in a car heading through the back streets of
the west end. The radio is on, playing some
thumping techno. The driver is young, but not too
young, he has a thick mop of black hair and
tattoos on his neck. As he drives through the
streets slowly people recognize the car
occasionally and nod at him. He is our taxi
driver)
Narration
They call this city The Big Smoke, perhaps
because once it had towering smokestacks
everywhere bellowing filth. Today they are gone
but the filth remains, you can see it on the
streets, its in the eyes of the people that
inhabit this town. Im not just talking about
garbage and dirt either. Some people are just
filthy.

Especially at night, the darkness brings them

out. There are people on the make, others looking
for a good time. The bar flies, gay girls and bad
boys. Boys who take it and girls who promise to
give it.
The promises are often empty, like the bars the
unwary get sucked into. Clip joints full of hard
men and harder women waiting to roll the next
punter. Theres easy money on these streets. Ever
since the time of Dickens people have arrived
here expecting them to be made of gold, only to
find the gold has been dug long ago and now the
diggers want to get their greasy fingers into
someone elses pockets.
If you are lucky youll go home skint and bruised
but ready for work the following Monday.
If youre not so lucky you may never go home; you
may end up walking the streets like thousands of
other lost souls do every night. Looking for a
scratch, a line, a fuck. Its all out there if
you are hard enough to take it.
You may never go home, truly; this town has been
the end of many. I try to remember that as I
scratch my living from its dirty streets. What
was it Mr Rama used to say, they think they are
hard, they come to London and find out England
has always got someone harder.
My eyes see everything but only look at the road,
my ears hear every last word but only notice the
sound of the traffic as it saunters by. This is
my town and I want it to feed me. So, I keep my
mouth shut and do my own thing. Thats how you
survive in this city; thats how you keep on
living
How do I make a living? Mr Rama is the guy I work
for. This time of night the market in Berwick
Street has closed and our office opens on the
street front. Hes about fifty, smart tweeds and
3

bow tie. He just stands there recording who goes

where and whos out next; clip board clutched to
his chest; not quite the fat controller.
More the bored little fifty year old scratching a
living in the rear end of this pig they call a
city.
(Our narrator smiles and parks up. Getting out
the car the girl on the door of the clip-joint
opposite smiles and he nods, joins Rama and a
couple of other friendly drivers in the office
doorway. The street is busy with people and cars
even for the time of night. Loud music blares out
from the bar opposite and the sound of police
sirens ring out nearby.)

Mr Rama
Ah, Zero Seven. Your lady friend has called for
you. She has booked a car for midnight. To go
home. This is okay yha?
Zero 7
Fine. How are you Mr Rama?
Mr Rama
God has given me strength this evening. I feel
that my drivers will make lots of money.
Zero 7
Well all do a ton, will we?
Mr Rama
If not more.
(The other drivers murmur their agreement as one
is directed towards a punter looking for a lift
to Dalston, Rama writes it on his clipboard and
the driver leads the punter away.
Later that evening Zero 7 is waiting for another
job with Rama and two other drivers, Two Three
4

and One One. Two three, a quiet man, a Pakistani

laughed as One One, a huge Indian, cracks a joke.
A fat West Indian girl stands near the office
with an uncomfortable looking man. Another West
Indian girl approaches.)
West Indian woman 1
Whats the problem here?

Man
Look, I dont want any trouble, Girls; I just
want my money back.
West Indian 2
I havent got your fucking money Man, so take a
hike.
Man
Last night I gave you a hundred quid for a girl;
you just ripped me off and I want it back.
West Indian 2
What are you saying? That Im a fucking
prostitute are you? You slimy creep, you can fuck
yourself. I wouldnt fuck you no matter how much
money you had. I dont even know you. Who are
you?
Man
I stood here last night and gave you a hundred
quid; this very spot. I want it back.
West Indian 1
Shes not got your money Man. You lost it, Okay?
Do yourself a favour and go home, put it down to
experience.
West Indian 1
Yha, go on, fuck off you fat cunt. Fucking nasty
worm, paying prostitutes like that. You should be

ashamed of yourself. Im off, I dont mix with

fat bastards.
(Both women walk away pursued by the man.)
Two Three
What was all that about?
One One
Those two girls are down here every night.
Theyre what youd call Clippers.

Rama
Yes, the clippers of Berwick Street; theyre
famous.
One One
I dont know about that, but every night they go
home with two to three hundred pounds in their
purses. They think the likes of us, working men,
men trying to feed their families, are mugs.
Mugs for chasing about all night trying to earn a
few bob. When every night there are people on
this street just throwing their money away.
Two Three
What, men just give them money?
Zero 7
No, whats happened is this; the girls ask
passing men if they want a girl. If they get a
good response theyre in there. How long you
want a girl for? One hour, two hours?
One One
As if a man can fuck a woman for two hours; its
not even possible.
Zero 7
Well say the guy thinks he is a stud or something
and he orders a girl for two hours? They say its
6

forty pounds per hour and ask they guy if he has

the money to pay. If not theyll take him to a
cash machine to get cash.
Then theyll pretend to call someone and say the
girl is waiting in a nearby hotel. They take the
guy to the Ritz or some other hotel and say, in
reception, ask for the money for the key to the
room. The man hands over the money and is given
the key to one of the rooms.
One One
It could be on the top floor or something.
Zero 7
He goes off to the elevator and the two girls are
off. The key could be any old thing with a
number.
One One
Hes been clipped. Theres no room, no girl,
there are men just throwing their money away;
its amazing.
(Just then a man approaches.)
Man
Got a taxi, man?
Rama
Where are you going?
Man
To the Elephant.
Rama
Seven pounds please.
Man
What, you want me to pay in advance?
Rama
Yes please, seven pounds to the Elephant and
castle.
7

One One
Everyone pays in advance.
Man
Okay, no problem.
(The man pays Rama and he is told that Zero 7
will be his driver. He follows Zero 7. As they
walk to the car another man joins the passenger
and they both get in the rear of the car behind
him. Then the opposite door opens and a very
large man gets in the car. The man in the middle
shakes his head. Zero 7 starts the car and they
head off taking the route to South London)
Man on Left.
I want my money, when the fuck are you going to
sort it?
Large man on right
No more of you effing bullshit. Yesterday you
said youd have it last night. Then, last night
you said it would be this morning, then tonight.
Basically you have just fucked us around all
day. Like were a couple of right mugs.
Man on left
Do I have the word cunt stamped on my forehead
or something?
Man in centre
Its not like that boys, I was expecting a drop
but it didnt happen.
Man on left
I dont want to know about your fucking business.
Its just not something Im particularly
interested in. I just want my money; thats it.
If this bitch of a whore doesnt sort it out I
might just start hurting people, you, your wife,
your sister. Ill do all of them.

Man on right
The last thing we need is to go all the way over
there, in a cab. Me and George have got more
important things to do. But youd go on the
missing list if we just let you go.
Man on left
Im not letting you out of my sight till my
monies in my hand.
Man in centre
I didnt ask you to come. It was up to you. I
could have sorted this out alone.
Man on left
Sure you would; fucking prick. After you fucked
me over for the best part of a week. Grow up.
Man in centre
Well, what is she doesnt have the money in the
house. If she has to go get it?
Man on right
Are you taking the piss?
Man on left
Youre really winding me up now. Im going to do
you. This is serious now, you cunt
Man in centre
Hang on George, you dont have to do that..
Man on left
No, your times run out old boy.
Man in middle
George! George
(The driver looks into his rear view mirror)
Zero 7
What the fucks going on in the back man?

(He pulls the car over and turns seeing the man
on the left stabbing the man in the middle. The
scene is in slow motion, The knife glinting, the
mans sudden expression of confusion.)
I dont care about your argument man but look,
the fuckers getting claret all over the
leatherwork. He needs a hospital, look at him?
Man on left
(Panting, with a bloody knife in his hand)
Youre paid to drive. Well, just drive.
Zero 7
What, and end up with a stiff in the back seat;
youve got to be fucking kidding. Im sure you
dont want the old bill getting too interested
because he bleeds to death. Do yourself a favour
and let me take him to hospital.
Man on right
Hes right; Im not doing life for the pussy.
Dont matter what hes done its not worth doing
life over..
Man on left
Okay, okay. Heres a nifty, (Hands over a fifty
pound note to zero 7) take the cocksucker to a
hospital and get your car cleaned. Come, were
out of here.
(Both men leave the vehicle. Zero 7 looks at the
remaining man and sighs. Hes been groaning
mournfully until the men leave.)
Man in middle
Sorry about the mess.
Zero 7
Save your energy man. Phew, they really did a
number on you.
(Hands the man a rag)

10

Put this over the cut and press hard, shit, they
really have done some damage. Ill get you to a
hospital if you can hang on in there
SCENE 3 EXT NIGHT
(Outside the cab office, Rama is standing with a
couple of drivers when a middle aged woman stops
by them,)
Rama
(To the passing woman) Excuse me Madam, would you
like a taxi-cab?)
Woman
No sorry.
(She looks at the office sign and the drivers
before digging into her bag and pulling out a
printed flyer. It has the words Missing in
large letters at the top and a small photo of a
young boy in a school uniform.)
I dont suppose you could hang this in your
office window for a while. Perhaps the drivers
could look at it and if they know anything, ring
the number. Its here at the bottom, see?
(She points to the phone number printed on the
flyer)
Rama
What is this you have?
Woman
Its a flyer from the Missing Persons Service;
were looking for this boy and we think he came
to London a while ago. Hes only a kid, it would
help if your drivers could look at the photo
Rama

11

Let me see (He takes the flyer). Good looking

boy, and hes missing you say?
Woman
Yes. He may not be in school uniform but
Rama
You know, this face is very familiar, but I cant
think where from. I see hundreds of people round
here every night but I cant remember them all.
Woman
Could you put it in your window please?
Rama
No problem.
One One
Thousands of kids go missing in this city every
year. They just disappear, gone, not to be seen
again; its amazing, it really is. I blame the
families.
Rama
Enough of that. We will look out for the boy.
Woman
Thank you.
One One
I was only saying.
Rama
You say too much; what if this woman was boys
mother.
SCENE 4 INT A HOSPITAL CASUALTY DEPARTMENT
(The swing doors open and Zero 7 enters pushing the
man in a wheel chair. He parks him by a bemused
nurse.)

12

Zero 7
I just found this guy outside, he looks like hes
in a pretty bad way; youd better deal with him.
Nurse
Whats his name?
Zero 7
How would I know, he was just outside.
Nurse
Whats wrong with him, can he talk, have you got
any details?
Zero 7
Look, the guys got a knife sticking out his
chest and you ask whats wrong with him; I dont
think hes got a fucking headache. I gotta go.
Nurse
Can you leave a phone number in case the police
want to interview you?
Zero 7
Sure, tell them to phone Whitehall 001, they can
ask for Scottie.
Nurse
Scottie, okay.
(A little later we find him smoking a cigarette
with a collection of paper towels around him as
he cleans the back seat. He cusses under his
breath)
Narration
It isnt every night that you get someone done
with a knife in the backseat but I see everything
in my rear view mirror. This city has it all
violence, drink, drugs, sex. If it happens in
London its happened in the back seat of my car

13

SCENE 5 EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 is parked outside the office leaning on
his car; a loud techno track is playing on the
midnight as an announcement says it is Midnight.
He flicks away a cigarette as a Girl approaches
from the office door.)
Girl
Hi, ya. Had an exciting evening have we?
Zero 7
You wouldnt believe it. How bout you?
Girl
Two wanks, a blow job and a spanker. No much for
the day. Its been really quiet; still, the
spanker gave me an extra score for wearing a
rubber glove. You should have seen the boil on
his arse, I was glad I could wear the glove. Made
me feel sick.
Zero 7
Hmm. Still, its over for the day.
Girl
Until tomorrow, How about a kiss for your baby
then?
Mr Rama
Zero 7, will you be returning?
Zero 7
Just run little miss home and then Ill be back.

Rama
No problem.
(Zero 7 and the girl get into the car and he
starts the engine)

14

Girl
Have you got to come back?
Zero 7
Yha, Ill drop you off and get back here to make
some money. Ive only done one job so Ill stick
around till around five.

Girl
Well try not to wake me up; will you be coming in
for a coffee?
Zero 7
I have to change my shirt so yha.

Girl
Is that blood?
Zero 7
Yha, some silly bugger was playing with a knife
earlier. I got his claret all over my best shirt.

SCENE 6 INT NIGHT

(Later in the girls flat they are drinking
coffee. Zero 7 is taking off his shirt while the
girl relaxes on a sofa)
Girl
What the fuck? What was he doing, slashing his
wrists or something?
Zero 7

15

Hmm, Id better have a wash before I put another

one on.
Girl
(Pulling the wig from her head.)
This wig has been giving me a headache all day;
Ive got through about twenty asprin today and my
head is still throbbing. When I was wanking this
geezer off earlier the bloody thing started to
fall forwards. Ill have to get some clips;
terrible isnt it, I come home from work covered
in body fluids and you come back dripping with
blood; what a pair?
(He joins her wiping a towel though his hair.)
Zero 7
Im not home for the evening yet, have you seen
my mobile?
Girl
Still, at least Im my own boss. I couldnt
imagine working for anyone else. No get them in
and get the bastards out again; thats what you
call earning a living. Can you see me in an
office?
Zero 7
Not in that get up; mind you
Girl
Come, give your baby a kiss.
Zero 7
Im going to be late again
SCENE 7 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 is driving down the Highway toward the
West End, the radio is on loud and he leans
forwards to turn it down as he picks up the phone
and dials)
Zero 7

16

Hi F. Yha, its me, mini-cab. Im on my way

through to you, where are you now? Right, Ill be
there in 5, get half a 6th ready for me? Just jump
in when I pull over.
(He drives further and into Windmill St, Halfway
down he pulls the car to a halt and the passenger
door opens. A large Blackman gets into the car
making that side sag into the gutter. Zero 7
hands over the 50 pound note he was given
earlier. The man hands back a wrap of plastic
nods and gets back out.)
Have a good night man.
(The Blackman just smiles
fillings and tucks the 50
pocket before closing the
to drive and soon is back

a mouthful of gold
pound note into a
door. Zero 7 continues
outside the office)

Rama
Zero 7, these three people to Brixton please. Ten
pounds.
(Three girls get into the back of his car, two
white and one black, he starts to pull away.)
Back girl
You know Brixton Hill love, by the lights?
Zero 7
No problem.
White girl 1
Er, this seats all wet, back here.
Zero 7
Sorry about that but the last passenger was a bit
old, you know, pissed himself.
White girl 1
Oh no, you are fucking joking. Im not sitting in
piss all the way to Brixton.
17

Black girl
Hes having a laugh, take no notice, look hes
smiling.
Zero 7
Yha, Im only joking.
White girl
Youd better be.
Zero 7
Yha, he puked up right there.
(The three girls all squeal and laugh as the car
journeys on.)
SCENE 8
(Zero 7
office.
talking

EXT NIGHT
joins Rama later that night outside the
A couple of other drivers stand there
about business.)

Zero 7
Its quiet, theres normally a queue this time of
night, I wonder whats going on.
One One
Its those bastards down there.
(He indicates another cab office just a little
further up Berwick Street. Outside stands several
drivers and a large Turkish controller. They have
a large coffee urn and the controller is making a
big show of giving free Turkish coffee for the
waiting customers.)
They are taking all our trade down there; the fat
Turkish bastard. You see that urn, they put that
in the street all night and call it an office.
The fuckers stand around it and as the trade come
by they say hay, heres the mini-cab, want some
coffee while you wait.

18

One night Im going to pick up that urn and throw

it down the fucking street; see how the fuckers
like that.
Rama
Violence will not solve this problem.
Zero 7
Hes right though, look at the amount of drivers
he has brought to this street. No wonder we are
all standing around doing nothing.
(A man approaches the office)
Man
How much for a car to Woodford please?
Rama
Woodford, fifteen pounds Sir, heres your car.
Money up front please.
Man
Upfront, fifteen pounds?
Rama
Please. One-one?
(He indicates One-one and the man follows him to
the car after handing over the money.)
You see Zero 7, God is not with those people.
Because God has not blessed his business his
drivers will leave quickly and the business will
fold. Violence is never necessary when God is
looking after you; look. Here comes your fare.
(Two women approach the office)_
Woman 1
Evening Mr, Rama, who is our driver tonight?
Rama
19

Zero 7, take these ladies to Peck ham.

Woman 2
Oh, we like him. Come on Darling I want to get
home.
(They follow him to his car and climb into the
back. During the journey he listens to their
faint conversation.)
Woman 1
Its been so fucking quiet tonight, Ive been a
maid for twenty two years in the West End and I
cant remember it being so quiet. My girls done
twenty quid all day.
Woman 2
Really, we were well busy in Peter Street, the
doorbell didnt stop ringing.

Woman 1
Really, it must be those bloody crack dealers
that hang about outside our flat all night and
day. The bastards; I even caught one trying to
charge a punter for coming up the stairs last
week. Charging him for using the stairs
Woman 2
I ask you.
Woman 1
Well if Irish hadnt been around the girl
wouldnt have carried on working. If theyre not
selling the stuff then they are on the stairs
smoking it.
Woman 2
I cant see Irish putting up with that.
Woman 1

20

Too right; he wants his rent doesnt he. If the

girls ain't making money, then hes not making
money. He sorted them out once already, done one
with a crow bar only last week.
Woman 2#
No?
Woman 2
Really, but the slags were back the following
night. He only came up tonight to get his money,
just before he came some German walked in. He
took a seat and I told the girl. While he waited
I was looking at him and I got a funny feeling.
Dont ask me what it was because I dont know. It
was just a funny feeling, In my bones. So after
he goes in, nothing. Then after a few minutes I
heard the girl shouting, shouting for her life. I
went in the room and the bastard has only tied
the girl up with a coat hanger.
You know, hes undone the bloody wire, and
wrapped it around her wrists; then he was
strangling her. I started to have a go at him
when Irish arrived. He clocked this German so
hard I thought he was gong to kill him.
Woman 2
You poor cow. Are you okay?
Woman 1
I got a bit of a knock, in the rumpus but the
German came off worse. Irish threw him down the
whole flight of stairs. The bastard.
Woman 2
See, you never know. Did the German bloke have
have a mark under one eye and a bump, like a mole
between his eye brows?
Woman 1
A cyst perhaps, yes, just between his eyebrows.
Why, do you know him?
21

Woman 2
Short, cropped hair?
Woman 1
Thats him.
Woman 2
The slimy bastard came to see my girl last week.
He wanted really kinky sex, you know,
asphyxiation. He actually asked if the girl would
be interested for some extra money but she was
only eighteen so I said no.
There arent many who would take a risk doing
that sort of stuff in this city. Sounds like hes
not even asking anymore. Just doing it.
Woman 1
Fucking men. Present company accepted. Theyre
all bastards.
(Later that night the sun is coming over the
horizon as Zero 7 goes back home. The music is
playing in the car and he can see the first burst
of life on the streets as the paper men come out
with their parcels of newspapers. Cleaners going
to early morning jobs and dustmen doing their
dawn rounds. Pulling up outside his flat he rubs
his eyes, collects his phone and money and goes
up to the flat)
SCENE 9 INT DAY
(he enters the flat and sits down on the sofa
flicking a switch to put the TV on in the
background. There is an ornate box on the glass
coffee table which he opens and removes a small
glass pipe and a razor blade.
He then takes the small wrap that he paid for
earlier from his pocket and opens it with the
blade. Hard white lumps the size of peanuts fall
onto the table.

22

He cuts one of the glassy stones and puts a

little in his pipe and takes a drawer while
holding the lighter to the it. A curl of white
smoke rises before he exhales another cloud of
white smoke.
His pupils glaze over and he sinks back into the
sofa. As he opens his cigarette packet and
removes a cigarette the bedroom door opens a the
girl from earlier enters the room. She is dressed
in a vest and knickers.)
Girl
Dont you want to come in; you can smoke that
shit later.
Zero 7
Hi babe, Im sorry if I woke you.
(He lights the cigarette as she sits on the arm
of the sofa and plays gently with his hair. He
places the cigarette in the ash tray and takes
another blast from the pipe.)
Girl
You didnt. Ive been waiting for you all night,
come on in, Ive been dreaming about you. Come to
bed with me. Ill do what you like?
Zero 7
Oh yha, and whats that?
Girl
You know, that thing.
(He curls her up in his arms and pulls her onto
the sofa)
Zero 7
Well if you put it like that, how could I refuse.
Hmm, you do feel warm.
Girl
I told you Id been thinking about you.
23

Zero 7
And hard.
Girl
Less of that; come on tattooed lover boy; let me
entertain you.
(She stands and leads him to the bedroom.)
SCENE 11 EXT NIGHT
Zero 7 is driving through the west end on his way
to work. Theres a traffic update on the radio
which tells him the streets are busy. He turns
down the radio and picks up his mobile phone.
Zero 7
Hi yah, what time are you working till tonight?
Ill pick you up about 5 past 1 then, okay? I
slept like a baby today and I didnt hear you
leave; especially after being fucked rotten last
night (He laughs). Ill speak to you later, love
you.
(He drives into Brewer Street and sees his crack
dealer standing on the corner talking to one of
the clippers. They nod at each other. Soon he is
pulling up outside the office. Rama and a couple
of drivers are having an altercation with the
Turkish controller. Zero 7 steps from the car and
treads on a newspaper sitting in the gutter, the
headline reads Number 3 for the Cavendish Sq
Killer.)
Turkish Controller
You think this is your pavement dont you. Well
Ill tell you what; go fuck yourselves; go fuck
your mothers pussy. This pavement is for anybody
to use and if I want to stand down there giving
free coffee to pull in some customers then thats
my prerogative.

24

Im in bloody bastard England now mate. Im free

to stand wherever I bloody well want.
One One
No, my friend. This is a business venture here;
were trying to earn a few bob for our families.
Im sure this is what you want also? Your office
operates from down that end of the street and we
operate at this end. Okay, so now you fuck off.
Rama
Please One one, Id rather him be there without a
fuss, all this unpleasantness will frighten the
customers away
Zero 7
Having problems are we?
RAMA
Nothing that God and a little patience cannot
deal with
One one
Look, see the bastard has gone. You have to be
aggressive with this man. Zero 7, my friend, he
came from down there up to our doorway and when a
lady asked for a cab he said to her here is your
cab, its down here. Bold as brass monkeys. Its
true.
Rama
I understand how frustrating this may be. It was
One one who was next out when the very nice lady
came along. She was a regular you see, it was
very embarrassing to her. I just rather he take
her if they need the money that bad, just take
her rather then upset the lady.
One one
But Mr Rama, how would he like it if I took the
bread from his childrens mouths, how would he
like that?

25

Three three
Someone should tell the police; surely there is a
law against it. Some byelaw?
(A man approaches the office)
Man
Can I have a taxi to Brixton please?
Rama
Here is your taxi, Sir (indicating Three three),
take him to Brixton. (He faces the man) Ten
pounds please, always to Brixton, 10 pounds only,
pay in advance.
(The man pays Rama and follows Three three to
his vehicle.)
Zero 7
I thought One one was out next?
One one
No, I have been out and back again. The lady they
pouched was going to Mill Hill, a fifteen pound
job, the one I got next, Bond St, five pound
only. See, this would make any man angry. Muslim
or not.
Zero 7
Sure, that would get you going wouldnt it. He
better not come up here when its my turn to go
out, Ill put him on his fat arse in front of the
customer; you see if I dont.
(A woman approaches)
Rama
Mini-cab lady?
Woman
How much to Ilford in Essex?
Rama
26

16 pounds love, in advance.

Woman
Fine, who shall I pay?
Rama
Ill take your money here and this is your
driver, (He indicates One one and the woman
follows him after paying Rama.
A short while later, Rama smokes a cigarette and
looks hard at Zero 7)
You know Zero 7, you would make a fine Muslim,
have you ever thought about praising the glory of
Allah, blessed be his name.
Zero 7
Do what? Your God would not want me, Mr Rama
Sahib.
Rama
Why do you say that; God loves anyone who turns
to face him.
Zero 7
Lets just say my lifestyle hasnt any room for
deities. Its different.
Rama
Oh, yes different. I have met your girlfriend and
we see she likes the Jiggi-jiggie, we Muslims
like the jiggie-jiggie too. Serious, you can
still be a good Muslim my friend and have jiggiejiggie.
(They both laugh when a young girl approaches the
office, a man hangs back in the shadows but is
obviously with her)
Girl
How long for a cab?

27

Rama
Your cab is right here, (he indicates Zero 7)
Where are you going?
Girl
Local.
Rama
Local is it, well flat fee five pounds, in
advance. (The girl approaches the man and he
gives her five pounds which she hands to Rama,
then they both follow Zero 7 to his car.)
Zero 7
Where too, locally?
Girl
(Getting into backseat with man) Just around the
block.
Zero 7
Just around the block?
Girl
Thats right, just drive and Ill tell you when
to stop.
Narration
Id heard this number before, just look straight
ahead and take no notice of what goes on in the
back. I could see from the wide look on her face
and the wrinkles on his that this wasnt a
brother and sister act. No, hed probably picked
her up somewhere, a bar, a caf, a pub, then the
conversation had turned around to money.
He had it and she needed it, he could think of
one way she could earn it. It happens every night
on these streets, girls realise theyre sitting
on a fortune and the only difference is, some
realise earlier then others.
Girl (whispering)

28

I said up front darling; thats how we do it

round this way, every things upfront.
Man
Ill pay you after, thank you, its nothing
personal but Ive lost my money enough times
around here, its after or nothing.
Girl
Forty quid, you did agree?
Man
Yes, thats right.
Girl
Half now, half later.
Man
Just get on with it.
(Zero 7 hears the sigh of resignation from the
girl and looks into his rear view mirror in time
to see her head go down. He sees a flash of light
cross the old mans face and his eyes flicker
lustily.)
Narration
Thats it darling, earn your bread and butter.
Make the ole boy happy. Hes had a night at the
theatre and now its followed by a tasty tit-bit
on the way home. Well, if this bitch is getting
40 quid for giving him a blow job shes not
getting away with just paying a fiver, its got
to be worth an extra tenna just to put up with
the stink of his sweaty dick filling the cab; let
alone the noises
Girl
Happy now? Ill have me money please.
Man
No problem, I always keep my word, there you are,
forty pounds; Ill get out here.
29

(Zero 7 stops the car and the man gets out the
vehicle)
Girl
Hang on, Ill get out here too.
(Zero 7 turns swiftly and grabs the girls arm, he
pulls her back into the cab and takes a ten pound
note from her)
Zero 7
For the cleaning.
Girl
What do you mean, theres nothing to clean.
Zero 7
Ive just had that geezers sweaty old arse on my
chairs, I need to have then cleaned. You
understand dont you?
Girl
Oh, cleaned, Okay yha. You fucking shit, I wont
be using your car again.
Zero 7]#
Thats fine by me.
(Later he pulls up outside the office and finds a
queue forming for cabs)
SCENE 12 EXT NIGHT
(The scene outside the cab office is confused,
its late and people are drunk, the shops are
still open and people huddle in their doorways to
keep out the cold. Rama walks straight to Zero 7
as he pulls up)
Rama
Take this lady and her friend to the Oval please.

30

(He opens the door and allows a young girl and

another elder man to get in the back seat, Rama
closes the door for them and Zero 7 pulls away)
Lady
I dont usually go to my flat; not with punters.
Man
You will say nothing.
(Zero 7 hears a slap and looks in his rear view
mirror to see he lady holding her face)
Man
Nothing.
Zero 7]
Is there a problem in the back?
Man
Just drive please.
Zero 7
I was talking to the lady.
Lady
Its nothing, please do as he says and drive, it
is none of your business.
Zero 7
Fine.
Narration
Sometimes you have to just put it down to
experience, some people like to be dominated, for
all I know these two are married and are trying
to put a spark back into the bedroom. Playing
roles in a piece they wrote earlier. Still if
adults want to play their own games who am I to
interfere, say whats right and whats wrong.
Lady
Will you pay the driver please.

31

Man
I have paid at the office. Is this it?
Lady
Yes.
(Zero 7 turns to see her exit the car, catching a
glimpse of a silver evening shoe and expensive
dress. The man she is with stops to leer at Zero
7 before getting out. He had a lump between his
eyes. Once the couple have left he notices a
ladies purse in the back seat.
#
He opens it and sees a flash of money and the
photo driving license of the young lady. The name
says Miss M. Rossini, he looks out but the couple
are gone. He puts the notes in his pocket and the
purse in the cars cabbie hold)

SCENE 13 EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 pulls up outside the cab office and Rama
approaches the car)
RAMA
Please, Zero 7, go to 16 Peter Street. You know
the flats there, one of the girls has requested a
car to take her and a dog to Hampstead Heath; 12
pounds on account Okay?
Zero 7
Its a bit late to go walkies on the heath isnt
it?
Rama
We dont ask questions, do we? If she wants to
walk a dog at midnight its up to her.
(He drives to Peter St and pulls up outside a
doorway with a sign posted on the wall that
proclaims Specialist Model, 1st floor. There is a
girl standing there dressed in a leather cat suit
32

and a leather mask, her hair is pulled tightly

off her face and hangs in a long pony-tail down
her black leather back.)
Girl
You the cab?
Zero 7
Thats right babe, Hampstead is it?
Girl
Thats right, Ill just get him.
Zero 7
You want the dog in the back seat?
Girl
The boot will do, can you open it for me?
(She turns and goes into the doorway. Zero 7
exits the car and opens the boot. He looks
towards the door and sees another girl, this one
in a red rubber cat suit with a full head mask
peer out at him. She looks cautiously up and down
the streets before nodding into the doorway.)
Girl 2
Bring him out.
(The first girl exits the doorway tugging on a
leather and chain strap, On the end of this is
tethered a man dressed in a full, one piece
rubber suit. He stumbles from the flat almost on
all fours and is lead by the first girl to the
back of the car.)
Girl 1
Come on boy, in you get.
(The man climbs into the boot of the car and Zer0
7 shuts it closed, the two girls then get into
the back seat and Zero 7 climbs behind the wheel
and begins to drive. He looks at the girls in his

33

rear view mirror and makes eye contact with the

young one in red.)
Girl 2
Can I smoke?
Zero 7
Go ahead.
(She lights up a cigarette and adjusts the zip
over her mouth so that she can smoke
comfortably.)
Girl 1
You know where Jacks Straws Castle is on the
Heath?
Zero 7
Yha, I know it.
Girl 1
Well be taking the road beside it and youll
find a track that leads into the trees.
Zero 7
I think I know it. The ash trey is between the
seats.
Girl 2
Ta. How long does he normally go there?
Girl 1
This is the first time love. Normally I leave him
in the box for a few hours but tonight he wanted
to be out in the open; god know why. I suppose
this might be a little strange to you?
Zero 7
Theres nothing that would surprise me in this
town.
Girl 1
Hes paying us 600.00 quid for this. Amazing
isnt it; six hundred quid to be tied to a tree.
34

Zero 7
Whatever floats your boat.
Girl 1
Me and Melissa are going to chill for a while and
collect him later.
Girl 2
Around 2.00 A.M.
Girl 1
You will remember wont you?
Zero 7
I guess so, you want me to come back at 2.00?
Girl 2
If thats okay, someone else may not remember
where we left him.
Zero 7
No problem.
(A few moments later the car pulls into the track
the girl had indicated. Its dark away from the
streetlights and only the headlights illuminate
the trees.)
Girl1
Turn your lights out please dear.
(He does as she asks and the scene falls into a
eerie silence. The girls get out of the vehicle
and walk to the rear of the car, they open the
boot and the man inside gasps for air. The rubber
around his mouth vibrates as he sucks air into
his lungs.
Girl 1 pulls on his leash and he climbs out of
the boot sinking to his hunches by her feet. She

35

tugs at the lead and Zero 7 watch as the two

girls disappear into the trees with him.
A few moments later they come back to the car.
Once they get into the back seat the girl in red
undoes the poppers on her hood and removes it
revealing long blond hair over a childlike
face.)
Girl 2
Thats better, I can breath now.
Girl 1
Right, lets go. Please remember where we left
him, driver, Id hate to loose the bastard.
(He backs the vehicle out of the lane and onto
the main road.)

SCENE 14 EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 pulls his car up outside the office and
his girlfriend comes up to the driver side
window)
Girl
I was just going to call your mobile. (She leans
in and kisses him gently) How are you?
|Zero 7
Fine thanks, and you?
Girl
Im okay I suppose, had three wankers all in a
row before one oclock. My right arm feels like
its got cramp. The last one just couldnt come
either
Rama
Are you taking the girl home?
Zero 7
36

Yes, then Ive got to return to Peter Street,

they have booked me again in an hour.
(Rama makes a note on his clipboard and Zero 7s
girl gets into the passenger seat.)
Girl
Will you be late? Only I was going to cook some
food.
Zero 7
I wont be back before dawn, you may as well get
the bed warm and well eat when we get up.
(She is reading a leaflet and quickly stuffs it
into her bag when he glances at her.)
Whats that?
Girl
Nothing.
(They drive home in silence.)
SCENE 15 INT NIGHT
(Zero z presses a buzzer and the lock on an
interior door snaps back. He pushes open the door
and enters a room with two long sofas arranged
around a T.V; there is a S and M video playing,
a girl is being whipped by a bare chested man.
Her screams echo around the room. Melissa is
seated on one of the sofas smoking a cigarette,
her long blond hair frames her face in the
flickering light. She calls out)
Melissa
That driver is here. (She looks at him coyly)
Come in, dont be shy.
(A door opens and Zero 7 sees the other girl
enter the room, behind her a man is strapped to a
frame on the wall, he is dressed in a pair of
37

leather shorts and leather hood, his back faces

them. She notices Zero 7s interest and closes
the door sharply.)
Girl 1
Thanks for coming back, want a line of coke?
Zero 7
Sure.
(She sits on the sofa next to the younger girl
and opens a box, inside is a pile of crystals and
a blade. She uses the blade to construct three
thin white lines and sniffs one with a silver
tube which was also in the box. She offers the
tube to him.)

Zero 7
This is cosy, isnt it?
Melissa
Just you believe it, honey.
(He snorts a line of cocaine and passes on the
tube to Mellisa, as she sniffs her hand goes onto
his thigh and he leans back into the sofa.)
Girl 1
You ever had coke blow down your dick?
Zero 7
Cant say Ive had that experience, Ill try
anything once.
Melissa
Really, let me get my strap-on.
Zero 7
Within reason.
(The girl in black reaches over and unzips his
fly as the blond reaches for his head and kisses
38

him gently. He reclines further and kicks his

trainers off. The clock ticks by and the music
and screaming merge into a psychedelic haze.
The room gradually gets lighter before Girl 1
sits up.)
Girl1
Shit, whats the time?
Zero 7
(Scratches his bare chest and wipes the sleep out
of his eyes before glancing at his watch.) Its
six thirty.
Girl 1
The fucking dog.
SCENE 16 EXT DAWN
(zero 7 is driving home as the sun gets into the
morning sky. People are just getting on their way
to work and as he drives out of the city people
are driving into it. The queues at the bus stops
are long, full of smartly dressed people and
children in school uniforms. He sees the
newspaper vans making their deliveries and the
late milkman doing the last of his rounds.
In some shop doorways there are people sleeping,
wrapped in blankets and dirty quilts, some peer
out at him as his car speeds past. Zero 7 turns
on the radio and hears the end of a news
broadcast.)
Newscaster
Police in South East London today are looking
for the killer of a thirty five year old woman.
The womans body was found stripped and bound
early this morning in a flat near the Oval
cricket ground.
The womans room mate returned early this morning
to find the body and alert the police. The women
are believed to be Italian nationals who were

39

working in London; the dead woman cannot be named

until relatives are contacted in Italy.
Police declined to say if they believed this to
be another in the series of murders that have
plagued the capital in the last few months.
The Cavendish Square Killer, known because the
first of the series was in Cavendish Square, is
thought to have killed at least three other
women. This could be the forth; if anyone has any
information could they contact the police at..
(Zero 7 turns off the radio and pulls the car up
outside his flat. He wipes his eyes and reaches
across to the hold in front of the passenger
seat. Opening it he removes the wallet he found
earlier and takes out the driving license.
Rossini is typed in the bracket for surname. He
places the wallet and driving license in his
breast pocket and gets out the car.)
SCENE 17 INT DUSK
(We see a montage of Zero 7 getting up in the
morning, finding a note from his girl saying she
didnt want to wake him. He shaves while on the
TV in the room a newscaster broadcasts from
outside a flat in South London. He cant hear
whats being said from the bathroom.
Then he is driving into the West End, it is dark
again and the streets are busy; people going home
from work stare at him blankly as he passes
slowly, almost at a snails pace.
When he arrives outside the office One one is
talking loudly to another driver while Rama
stands between them clutching his clipboard.)
SCENE 18 EXT NIGHT
One one
40

Good evening Zero 7, youre just in time to solve

an argument we Pakistanis were having
Rama
No, One one, you have been arguing and we have
been listening to your argument. Hes very upset
because look, the office down there has now put
up this sign, see?
(Zero 7 looks down the street at a huge sign put
up beside the coffee urn.)
Zero 7
Wow, are they allowed to do that; I thought signs
that big needed planning permission.
Rama
The business is probably not even paying tax, I
dont understand English people sometimes. If you
pay your taxes, the police are always poking
around and if you dont pay, they leave you
alone; see, theres proof at the end of the road.
One one
The fuckers dont care. Touts, thats all they
are and no-body does a thing to stop them. You
mark my word, having cowboys like that on the
block will screw it up for all of us. Take the
bread from our babys mouths. Bastards; how the
fuck do they get into the country anyway?
Zero 7
Were in the European Empire now you know.
One one
Fuck Europe, what has Europe ever done for my
country; Pakistan doesnt even exist to most
Europeans
Rama
Britains your country now.
One one

41

Yes, hmm, of course. If that big fucker down

there poaches just one of our customers tonight,
Ill split his head open, thats what Ill do,
just see if I dont.
Rama
Think, is that what God wants you to do?
Zero 7
I got a Stun Gun if you want to borrow it; you
could zapp the fat cunt.
One one
You have a Stun Gun; what, in your car?
Zero 7
Yha,
One one
I think this might be illegal you know; you may
get into serious trouble if the police find a
Stun Gun in your car
Rama
Especially if you are working as a mini-cab.
Zero 7
The Old Bill would never find it, not where it
is. Ive been robbed in the past and now I
couldnt do this job without some protection. I
used to carry a can of C.S gas but I tried it one
night and it didnt seem to work quickly enough.
You need something that will drop them, quick
like.
One One
Nerve gas now, hear that; bloody nerve gas? Zero
7, the bloody mercenary.
Zero 7
Someone fucks with me in that car theyre gonna
get fucked back. (He laughs)

42

One one
Oh, Zero 7, you are such a comedian, I nearly
believed you; nerve gas and stun guns; You really
had me.
(Two girls walk past hand in hand, they see the
drivers and snigger)
Three three
Pretty girls eh, just ripe for the jiggi-jiggie
eh Zero 7?
Zero 7
They were gay, you can tell lesbians a mile off.
One one
Lesbians, really, oh wow.
(He looks at the girls wide-eyed)
Rama
Yes, lesbians. They have these things in this
godless country; its true.
Zero 7
Nothing wrong with that.
One one
Of course not, but if it was my wife or my
daughter Id kill them. A man could not tolerate
such a thing under his own roof.
Three three
Unless he could watch.
(They all laugh)
One one
Well of course. You know, Ive often wondered
what they do, you know, these lesbians.
Three three

43

Without a man they cannot be satisfied. Their bed

is lacking a little something.
One one
Or in my case, a big something.
Zero 7
Dont you be so sure of that. They get by; have
you never seen a woman go down upon another
woman?
Three three
Go down, what do you mean?
Zero 7
You know, suck pussy.
(Rama, One one and three three cough in unison)
Pha, thats disgusting.
One one
You mean they suck that thing down there; no, I
cant believe it.
Rama
No, that thing is not for the sucking, its for
the jiggie jiggie only.

Zero 7
Are you telling me that you lot, all married men
with children, have never gone down on your
womans pussy before?
Rama
We do not do such things; in our culture its
considered dirty.
Three three
The womans pee pee comes out there you know.

44

Zero 7
Well thank the lord for lesbians, at least some
women are getting orgasms.
(A man approaches the office)
man
Can I have a car to Stockwell please?
Rama
Ten pounds in advance please. Three three, take
this man please.
(The man pays Rama and heads off with Three
three)
One one
Zero 7, I dont know about the lesbians but in
some parts of Pakistan a man would give a house
to have a young boy to fuck. Its true. These gay
boys can be treated like kings.
Zero 7
Like queens you mean?
One one
Oh, yes, queens, thats funny.
Rama
In other parts of Pakistan these gay boys have
their bollocks cut off. Our religion does not
allow such abominations.
One one
Thats true; but they have to find out you know.
I am aware of it as a fact. Gay boys can live
very well in Pakistan if they do not bring
attention to themselves. Especially if they speak
English, because, that is the language of the
middle classes. Its only in the villages that
they would be persecuted, where the ignorant
people are. In the citys they can do very well.
(A woman approaches the office)
45

Woman
Hi Rama, who have I got tonight?
Rama
One one, take this very nice lady to Brixton
please.
One one
I know this lady very well; dont I love?
(They leave the office)
Rama
You know Zero 7, he is one of my best drivers. He
is here on time every night and stays until dawn.
Very reliable and fast which is most important
when mini-cabbing. And he works all day in his
brothers shop; its amazing isnt it.
Zero 7
Certainly is.
(A woman and two men approach the office)
Woman
Got a car for Heathrow?
Rama
Of course, Twenty pounds please, in advance.
Woman
Fine, in advance?
Rama
In advance, Zero 7, here is your fare.
(All three follow Zero 7 to his car and get in
the back seat while he climbs in the front and
starts the engine. He looks into his rear view
mirror.)
Zero 7
46

Where are we going, which terminal?

Woman
Terminal 4, the international thank you.
Zero 7
Youre Dutch arent you?
Woman
This is true, we are Dutch, well done.
Zero 7
I love the Netherlands, I was in Amsterdam last
year; blinding.
(The men speak anxiously to the woman in Dutch
and he understands that they do not want to make
chit chat. After a little while he catches one of
the mens eye in the mirror.)
You have been here in London for pleasure?
Man
Business only.
Zero 7
I hope that turned out okay for you?
Woman
Very good. Ere, blinding, as you say.
Man
(To the woman under his breath) Did you leave the
sample there with them?
Woman
Shyser, its still in my bag. Shall I throw it
out the window?
Man
No, we cant have it being found by some
children.
Woman
47

Ill leave it here, on the back seat.

Man
We cant risk getting on the flight with it.
(When they reach terminal 4 the woman and one man
get out of the car. The second man leans forwards
and taps Zero 7 on the shoulder.)
Man
Here is a tip,
(He hand over a fifty pound note)
Zero 7
Thank you.
Man
Have a good night.
(He watches them dash into the building and pulls
away. Just before hitting the motorway he pulls
to one side and peers into the backseat. To his
surprise he finds a small bottle containing a
clear liquid, he puts it in his breast pocket.

SCENE 19 EXT NIGHT

(In a chilly and dark part of the city, near by
Aldgate station a group of whores ply their
trade. Some are young, some are old all are
marked by their white skin and bags under their
eyes, typical heroin users who earn their next
hit by sucking the passing trade off. One young
girl who is new to the game and is working alone
approaches a passing man.)
Girl
Do you want a girl mister?
Man
Yes, but I am looking for a special girl.

48

Girl
Im special, we can go down here if you want, no
one will see.
Man
And get jumped by your pimp,(He replies in a
thick Germanic accent.) I dont think so.
Girl
I havent got a pimp; youll be okay, Ill look
after you.
Man
Havent you got a flat or something, Ill pay
extra.
Girl
Its me kids, see. Theyre back at home asleep. I
wouldnt want to wake them.
Man
Ill be quiet, you can trust me.
Girl
Youll pay extra?
Man
Thats right.
Girl
Okay then, follow me. Its not far.
Man
Good, now say nothing on our journey.

SCENE 20. EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 is driving to Stockwell with the female
passenger)
Zero 7
So you been out tonight?

49

Woman
Please, Im not in the mood to talk.
Zero 7
Sure, if thats the way you want it.
(Cut to the prostitute and her punter as she
leads him through a doorway into a dark foyer of
a small block of apartments.)
Prostitute
Its just up here.
Man
Shut your fucking mouth.
(Cut back to Zero 7 in the car driving his
passenger to Stockwell.)
Zero 7
Where do you want to go from here?
Woman
See that ally. Down there.
Zero 7
That narrow little ally across the road there?
Woman
Are you deaf?
Zero 7
Okay, I get the picture.
(Cut back to the prostitute, she opens the door
of her apartment and the man follows her in, as
he closes the door he locks it. She is looking
worried but takes him into the lounge. She turns
the light on and he immediately closes the
curtains.)
Prostitute
My kids are sleeping in the next room, so lets
be quick about
50

Man
I told you to shut up. Now, take your clothes
off.
(She begins to undress)
Prostitute
Dont you want to undress?
Man
Theres time for that, Now, lay on the floor.
(The girl does as she is told.)
Open your legs, let me see your pussy.(He pulls a
chair between her feet and sits with his arms on
the back) Further, open them further.
(He uses his feet to push her legs apart and his
breathing changes. She looks frightened. Back in
the car Zero 7 also thinks hes made a mistake.
He looks in his rear view mirror at the woman in
the back seat.)
Zero 7
Down here.
Woman
Thats right, down to the end.
(Back in the prostitutes apartment the man
stands and throws the chair against the wall. He
is masturbating. He falls on the woman and in one
hand is a blade. His other hand goes around the
womans throat. She starts to squirm and wriggle
which makes him more frenzied cutting a thick
gash under her chin. Blood pumps in a stream over
his fingers clasped around her neck.
His breathing becomes frantic and her drops the
blade to continue masturbating. Her struggling
subsides, he sighs loudly and the woman is limp.

51

He looks up and sees a child in the doorway

clutching a teddy bear.)
Child
Is Mummy alright?
(Zero 7 is driving down the darkened ally.)
Zero 7
Is this it?
Woman
Yes, I guess it is.
(She pulls a knife from her coat and puts it to
his throat.)
Now. Dont try to be a hero or Ill use this.
Zero 7
Im not going to be a hero or nothing, just be
cool, okay?
Woman
I swear, Ill cut your fucking throat you
bastard, just see if I dont.
Zero 7
Okay baby, be cool. Im not going to do anything.
Woman
Youd better not, fucker, Ive used this before
and Im not afraid to use it again.
Zero 7
No problem. Now, just calm down and tell me what
you want.
Woman
Money, I want your money. If you dont give me
your money Im going to kill you, understand, Im
going to cut your fucking throat.
Zero 7
52

I understand baby, now just calm down. Are you

cool.
Woman
What?
Zero 7
Are you cool?
Woman
Just give me your fucking money and then Ill be
cool.
Zero 7
Id love to give you my money babe, but you got a
blade to my throat so its pretty hard to reach
down and get it. If you are cool and I am cool
maybe youll let me reach under my seat and get
it for you. So are you cool?
Woman
Im cool,
Zero 7
Good, youre cool and Im cool, were just two
cool for school, okay?
Woman
Okay.
Zero 7
So, now youre going to relax your grip and let
me reach under so I can get my money; okay?
Woman
Its under your seat?
Zero 7
Thats right baby, under my seat.
Woman
Youre not pulling any stunts are you, because
Ill cut your fucking

53

Zero 7
Throat, yha, you said. But we are cool, right,
too cool for school.
Woman
Too cool for school.

Okay.

(She relaxes her grip and he takes her wrist and

pulls the knife from his throat gently, then
reaching under his seat he grips his stun gun and
with a quick flip turns her wrist so her arm
locks, then he lifts himself from his seat and in
a flash has her arm behind her back and his stun
gun to her forehead.)
Zero 7
Now, you see what we have here?
Woman
What?
Zero 7
We have here a Marconi 75 thousand. That means
baby, that its capable of zapping you with
seventy five thousand volts of electricity. You
know this is illegal in this country dont you?
Woman
Is it?
Zero 7
It sure is, you see the police did do a trial
using them to control drunken thugs and psychos,
see. What they found though is that people
generally dont respond very well to seventy five
thousand volts running through their bodies.
In fact, most of the time the people they tried
it on ended up dead, which wasnt the aim of
using them in the first place. So guess what?
Woman
What?

54

Zero 7
They stopped using them and made them illegal.
Illegal for them to use and certainly illegal for
me to use. So, would you like to know what it
feels like to have seventy five thousand volts of
electricity running through your body?
Woman
What?
Zero 7
I said, would you like 75 thousand volts of
electricity running though your body?
Woman
No, no I wouldnt.
Zero 7
I thought youd say that. So you are going to
give me that knife and we are both going to be
cool, okay?
Woman
Im going to give you the knife and
Zero 7
We are both going to be cool.
Woman
Okay.
(She relaxes her grip and he takes the knife and
tosses it on the front seat.)
Im sorry, I just needed the money
Zero 7
Stop squirming baby, okay, were cool, yes, too
cool for school.
Woman
I have bills to pay and..
55

Zero 7
Stop squirming. Now, Im going to let your arm go
and you are going to turn around nice and slowly
and face me, okay.
Woman
Okay.
(She turns to face him. He notices that she has a
black eye.)
Zero 7
Who did that?
Woman
Just some guy, thats why I needed some money, I
need to get away from him. I thought if I could
get the train fare Id go to my mothers. Ive
never done this before.
Zero 7
I kinda guessed that. How much do you need?
Woman
What?
Zero 7
Im asking you how much you need. Now if youre
going to put a knife to someones throat I think
you must need the money pretty damn badly, is
that a fact?
Woman
Yes.
Zero 7
Well how much do you need?
Woman
About fifty quid should do it.
Zero 7 (Taking his wallet from his breast pocket)
Heres one hundred; will that be enough?
56

Woman
Youre not going to call the police?
Zero 7
Is it going to be enough?
Woman
Yes, thank you.
Zero 7
Take it, if I was you Id give up the life of
crime, next time you might not be so lucky. I
guess you dont want to be dropped off here,
shall I take you to a station?
Woman
Thank you.
SCENE 21 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 is walking along Compton St, he glances
at his watch, it says 2.00am. There are people
everywhere, drag queens in tall wigs, leather men
cruising from doorways, people spilling into the
street from the late nite bars and loud music
blaring from parked up cars. He gets to the
corner of Frith Street and a familiar face steps
up to him.)
F
Hi buddy, lets go down here away from the
snoopers and cameras. You never know whos
watching round here; hows your night been?
Zero 7
Its been eventful.
F
Like that is it?
Zero 7
Ive had enough of the West End tonight; Ill do
another job then get home.
57

F
How your bird?
Zero 7
Shes cool.
F
Still doing the whips and spanks?
Zero 7
Everyones got to earn a crust.
F
Yes, I had a girl working for me down here, she
could turn round a ton in a couple of hours; in
the end she decided she didnt need a partner and
blew me out, bitch. Still it was a good little
earner while it lasted. What was it you wanted,
half a sixteenth?
Zero 7
Yha, heres a nifty.
(He passes over a folded note and F spits a wrap
into his hand.)
F
Go, enjoy. Give me a call sometime.
(With that he faded into the crowd.)
SCENE 22 INT NIGHT
Zero 7 is at home sitting at the coffee table. He
unwraps the rock that he just bought and takes
his pipe from the small box on the table. Then he
feels in his breast pocket and takes out the
small bottle he found in the rear of the car
earlier. He brakes of a small piece of the rock
and places it on the pipe before igniting it with
a lighter and sucking in the fumes. Then he lifts
his mobile phone and makes a call.)
Zero 7
58

Hi babe, yha Im at home. You never guess what,

some chick tried to turn me over tonight. Yes,
rob me. Only a ton, it turned out okay in the
end. What time you coming back. Right. Dont wake
me. Bye, love you.
(He places the phone down and smokes some more of
the rock before taking the lid from the bottle
and dipping his finger in and tasting a little.
Its bitter and he quickly puts the lid back on.
He rubs his eyes and lays back upon the sofa then
he realises the TV, which is on in the
background, sounds strange. He rubs his eyes
again and the colours in the room appear to be
brighter, the sounds from the TV echo and he
laughs.)
What the fuck?
(He takes up the bottle and looks at it again,
the contents appear to be swirling around like
fire opal. Colours stream from his fingers and he
lays back lost in a field of visions.
Time passes and he realises he is not alone, he
opens his eyes and his girl is in the room. She
approaches him and sits on the sofa stroking his
hair.)
Girl
Are you okay, I thought you would be in bed.
Zero 7
What time is it?
Girl
Its 7.30 in the morning, have you been there all
night?
Zero 7
Shit, yes. Ive been on the most amazing trip.

59

Girl
What smoking that shit?
Zero 7
No, see that bottle. I found it in the car. I
dont know whats in it but I have been fucked
since two in the morning. Its fucking heavy
shit.
Girl
I was worried about you, I didnt know if you
were hurt of anything.
Zero 7
Really, why?
Girl
You said someone tried to rob you.
Zero 7
Oh yha, was that last night, fuck, seems like
ages ago.

Girl
Youd better have some coffee, here. Whats so
funny?
Zero 7
Last night I was talking to the guys I work with
and two dikes walked past. They just couldnt
believe that two women could get enjoyment from
each other. Dont you think thats weird?
Girl
Most guys have a fantasy about two women getting
it together. Still, Asian women generally are
pretty stuck in their roles; I guess they never
really see anything different at home. It
probable does them good to see a strong woman in
the street, shows them that they do exist.
Especially after all the other women that parade
past that office each day.
60

Zero 7
What, the clippers and the whores?
Girl
I was thinking, a man can go to any European city
and pick up a woman for sex and not worry about
being ripped off but here in London they stand
more chance off getting ripped then getting
fucked; thats amazing isnt it. We supposed to
be so trendy and fashionable and yet London is
the only place in Europe where ripping punters
off is acceptable.
Zero 7
What can you do. Come here and give me a cuddle.
Girl
What are you like? If the government regulated
prostitution there would be no clippers, no clip
joints and tourists would get what they pay for.
Zero 7
They do sometimes.
Girl
But you have to know where to go. All my regulars
are local, its rare for me to service someone
who is just passing through.
(Pause)
Zero 7
I saw that flyer in your bag the other day.
Girl
Well?
Zero 7
Dont you think you should do something about it?
Girl
I dont want to have to deal with this at the
moment.
61

Zero 7
It wont just go away.
Girl
Not at the moment. Okay, leave it.
Zero 7
Snappy, okay relax. Ill change the subject.
SCENE 23 EXT NIGHT
(They are standing beside his car and it is
dented in the front.)
Zero 7
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is a pissing joke, I mean.
Look at the space they had. Youd think that they
could get through there without taking out my
lights?
Girl
Its only the wing and headlight.
Zero 7
But I cant taxi with it looking like that. Ill
have to take it to my brothers tomorrow. Come on
lets get going.
Girl
How you feeling today?
Zero 7
Better, I cant believe how strong that stuff is.
If I can sell it to the right person I might make
some dough; thatll pay for the car; unless?
(He smiles and throws her a wink.)
(They drive up to a Cash and Carry warehouse and
see two old ladies struggling with a trolley full

62

of boxes. Zero 7 pulls his car over across the

road from them.)
Im just going to chat up those two old girls.
(He gets out the car and, before crossing the
road, drags another trolley over and places it in
the road near his car.)
Afternoon ladies, want a hand?
Old lady 1
Oh thats very kind of you.
Zero 7
Its not a problems, is this your car?
Old lady 2
Yes, if you could lift the boxes into the back
seat and boot, it would help us a great deal.
Old lady 1
The staff just take your money and leave you. No
help at all.
Zero 7
Tell me about it. Youd think theyd collect
these trolleys wouldnt you. Me and my girlfriend
were just driving past when the wind blew one
straight into our car. Smashed up the wing and
headlight; did you hear it?
Old lady 2
Oh dear, was that you.
Old lady 1
We heard a crash, I think. Are you okay?
Old lady 2
Is your girlfriend okay, its terrible isnt it.
I hope you sue them.
Zero 7
63

I would, but theyd only pay up if we had

witnesses.
Old lady 1
We saw everything, didnt we?
Old lady 2
Everything, the wind blew the trolley right into
your passenger side wing.
Zero 7
Drivers side.
Old lady 2
Yes, thats right, into the drivers side wing.
Go inside and bring the manager out. Well tell
him what happened.
Zero 7
Really, you are a godsend. There, thats your
boxes loaded. Wait here while I get the manager.
Old lady 1
Yes, we saw everything. You would think they
would be more careful wouldnt you
(Some time later Zero 7 gets in the car with his
girl again. He hands her a form for making a
claim against their insurance that he got from
the manager and gives her another crafty wink.)
Zero 7
Sorted.
SCENE 24 EXT NIGHT
(They pull up outside a garage and a mechanic
comes out to greet them)
Paul (The mechanic)
Alright brov. How are you?
Zero 7
Things have been better, you?

64

Paul
Keeping my head above water, you know how it is?
You have had a bump havent you.
Zero 7
Yha, still, the Cash and Carry reckon theyre
going to pay for the damage so had a result
really. Any chance of sorting it tonight or
tomorrow?
Paul
What we talking about, a wing, headlamp. Any
damage to the engine?
Zero 7
No the engines okay but the radiator may need
replacing. Have a look at it for me.
Paul
Anything else?
Zero 7
Well Paul, I could do with a couple of nice fog
lamps and perhaps a chrome grill; whatd reckon?
Paul
No probs. Itll be really sorted by the time you
get it back. Say tomorrow night, youd better
phone first
Zero 7
Got anything I can borrow while you have it?
Paul
Well some geezer left that Merc with me. Ive
given it a service and he wants it back day after
tomorrow; will that do?
Zero 7
Lovely jubly.
Paul

65

You can take it but only if you promise to look

after it.
Zero 7
No problem.
Girl (Shouting from window of car)
Are you going to be much longer, I got to get to
work.
Zero 7
Just getting the keys for that Merc.(He passes
his keys to Paul) Heres the keys for the b.m.w.
Youre a diamond.
Paul
Thats what families are for. Just look after
that Merc. Your girls getting impatient.
Zero 7
Shes alright.
Paul
She sure is a pretty girl, is she a good fuck?
Zero 7
Shes alright.
Paul
I bet she sucks your dick and everything eh? You
know Mary, my wife, god bless her, shes a good
woman and a brilliant mother but this religion
thing of hers, man. It really gets in the way of
our sex life. She wont do nothing unless its in
the bible.
Zero 7
Well everythings in the bible isnt it. I mean
its a pretty racy book so Ive heard.
Paul

66

Not as far as shes concerned. If you could find

the passage that says Jesus had his cock sucked
Id buy you that Merc, serious.
Zero 7
You should broaden her horizons, take her to a
swingers club or something.
Paul
Swingers club. If I mentioned that, the only
thing that would be swinging is me, from the
nearest tree. Youre a lucky bastard. Heres the
keys to the Merc, dont break it.
Zero 7
You can rely on me.
Paul
Thats what Im worried about.
SCENE 25 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 pulls up outside the office, Rama and
Three three are standing in the doorway)
Rama
A new car, Zero 7? Very nice, are you expecting
executive clients tonight?
Zero 7
Someone ran into my B.M.W and drove off. Ive put
it in to be fixed.
Three three
Bastards, this happens all the time in this
country. I bet they never left a note or
anything. Bastards.
Zero 7
Hows business?
Rama
Ticking over. Quiet though. Its because of this
nasty business thats happening.
67

Zero 7
What nasty business?
Two three
The girls, you know. They found another one this
morning. Killed in front of her baby. Its not
right I tell you.
Zero 7
Well you know that girl I took to Stockwell last
night?
Rama
About one am?
Zero 7
Thats right, she put a knife to my throat. So
you can never tell.
Three three
What tried to rob you?
Zero 7
Its true. Put a knife clean to my throat.
Rama
Lord above. What did you do?
Zero 7
I zapped her with my stun gun.
Three three
Oh, that again. Its a joke, yes?
Zero 7
No seriously. She got it between the eyes.
Two Three
Hes joking, look, if he was robbed he wouldnt
be smiling.
Zero 7
Its true, Im telling you.
68

(They hear a commotion behind them and turn to

see a young man arguing with a woman.)
Young man
Two hours you had me waiting there, now I want my
money back.
Woman
If the girl didnt show thats not my problem,
she probably forgot. If you go back there Ill
call her now and get her to meet you.
Man
I want my money back; Im not going to wait any
longer.
Woman
So you dont want to meet this girl. Make up your
mind, either you do or you dont.
Man
Of course I do. But its not going to happen is
it?
Woman
Of course it is babe, you know these girls are
very busy. She probably forgot. If you wait over
there by that lamppost Ill call her now and get
her to come; okay love?
Man
You want me to wait over there?
Woman
Thats right love, by that post. Now dont move.
Ill come back as soon as Ive spoken to her.
(The young man goes to the lamp post and waits as
the girl scarpers down a nearby alley.)
Zero 7
That boy will still be there at midnight.

69

Rama
While shes at home with his money in her pocket.
Its early, perhaps shell have time to do
another before she goes home.
Zero 7
Theres always another mug waiting to get robbed
on these streets.
(A man approaches the office)
Man
How much to Green ford?
Rama
Greenford. That would be fifteen pounds sir,
upfront.
Man
Have you got a car to take me now?
Rama
Three three, you have a booking. Zero 7, can you
take this man to Greenford?
Zero 7
No problem.
(The man pays Rama and follows Zero 7 to the car
Man
What a splendid car, you cabbies must be making
an absolute fortune.
SCENE 26 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 pulls up outside the office. As he gets
out the car he notices a man getting into One
ones car. He climbs from the Merc and approaches
Rama.)
Zero 7
Was that guy a German?
Rama
70

What guy?
Zero 7
The one who has just gone with One-one.
Rama
Oh, Whitechapel, I didnt notice.
Zero 7
Can you tell One-one that I would like to speak
to him when he gets back.
Rama
Yes, of course.
(A commotion up Brewer Street catches their
attention. Suddenly the sound of police sirens
fill the air and the road becomes full of
uniformed men.)
Something must be up. You never see so many
policemen unless theres a serious incident.
F
Got-cha!
Zero 7
Shit, you made me jump. Hows it buddy?
F
Its cool mate. Whats going on up there?
Zero 7
I dont know.
F
Probably another girl got her throat cut. It
seems a popular sport these days. Look at those
cunts running around like headless chickens; hes
probably no-where near by now. Still as long as
theyre looking for him, theyre not looking for
me.
Zero 7
71

Ive got something for you. Lets take a walk;

Rama, Im just getting a coffee.
Rama
Take your time, there are two drivers to go
before your turn next.
F
Whats this, an early Christmas present?
Zero 7
I want you to get something tested and let me
know if you can get a buyer.
F
Sounds interesting, what is it?
Zero 7
Ive got a fluid ounce of this. (He hands over a
small square of blotting paper.) Its a liquid
and so Ive just put a few drops on this blotter.
If you need more to get it analysed let me know.
F
What. Is it acid?
Zero 7
I dont know. Perhaps you can hand it round the
brothers and see if anyone has an idea.
F
Does it smell? You can tell a lot about stuff if
you know what it smells like.
Zero 7
I would have thought you were taking the piss but
now you come to mention it I did notice. What was
it, Hmm. Yes, it smelt of liquorice. Ill tell
you this bro, its fucking strong. I got a small
dab on my finger and I was tripped out, loved up,
smashed and totally wasted for about six hours.
Its got to be worth something.
F
72

I may not get a result but leave it with me. I

know some guy who works with a gas spectrograph,
they use it in labs to test the composition of
chemicals. Ill see if he can look at it. If
theres a charge for the analysis Ill give you a
shout.
Zero 7
Okay, I knew I could rely on you. See you soon.
F
Ill call you.
(Zero 7 walks back to the office and goes past
the young man who is still waiting under the lamp
post)
Zero 7
Shes gone mate. Go home, put it down to
experience.
Man
Do you know her?
Zero 7
No mate, but theres a group of them down here
every night pulling that stunt. Serious, youll
never get your money back. Go home.
Man
Fuck you.
Zero 7
Please yourself.
Rama
Ive just heard, that man, the Cavendish killer,
he may have been seen up there. Thats what the
fuss is.
Zero 7
Theyre not sure then, the cunts wouldnt know
him if he had a sign round his neck. Where am I
on the plot?
73

Rama
You and your very nice car are next out.
SCENE 27 INT NIGHT
(Across town, Zero
quiet night so far
drinking coffee in
have in the foyer.
answers it.)

7s girl is working. Its a

and she and another girl are
front of the TV, which they
The telephone rings and she

Girl
Hello, can I help you?
Voice
I would like to speak to Charlie?
Girl
Who is this?
Voice
Im phoning from the Salvation Army. We are a
small agency which helps families find missing
children. At the present time Im engaged on a
case of a missing boy, his names Charles Hanter.
Have you hear of him?
Girl
Who gave you this phone number?
Voice
We have several sources..
Girl
Theres no-one here called that.
Voice
Please dont hang up.
Girl
I cant help you.

74

Voice
You do know him though, dont you? I want to let
him know that his family miss him a great deal.
Girl
If that was the case he would not have left home
would he?
Voice
People make mistakes. Sometimes they think that
too much has happened to turn the clock back.
Before you know it years have gone by.
Girl
Some things are better left as they are.
Voice
Not all the time. Things change.
Girl
What things?
Voice
People become ill. People die. Life is too short
to hold grudges.
Girl
Is someone ill, has someone died?
Voice
I need to speak to Charlie, could you ask him to
call me.
Girl
I dont know.
Voice
If you see him?
Girl
Ill try. Okay. I cant be any more definite then
that.

75

Voice
Thank you You could make someone very happy.
SCENE 28 EXT NIGHT
(Rama, Zero 7 and a couple of other drivers are
standing outside the office when a woman
approaches.)
Woman
Can you tell me how much a cab to Dagenham would
cost?
Rama
Where too in Dagenham?
Woman
The Romford end.
Rama
That will be twenty pounds please, here is your
driver. (He indicates Zero 7)
(Suddenly the Turkish controller approaches and
grabs the womans arm.)
Turk
Here is your cab lady, down here.
Rama
No this is your driver, here.
Turk
Yes, down here. How much is he charging you?
Woman
Twenty pounds.
Turk
The thieving bastards, well do it for fifteen,
come.
Zero 7
Get your hands off the lady, shes our customer.
76

Woman
Can you do it for fifteen?
Zero 7
Yes.
Turk
Then well take you for twelve. Come with me.
Zero 7
What the fuck do you think you are playing at.
One one
He did this before; its not right I tell you.
Turk
Take no notice, look here is your car.
Zero 7
Take your fucking fat fingers off the woman.
Woman
Come on boys, play nice.
Turk
Look here little man, you do not own this street.
Zero 7
Neither do you, you fat piece of shit.
Rama
Leave it Zero 7, if they can do it for twelve,
let them.
Turk
You heard your boss, little man, (He smiles at
the woman a row of stained teeth.) follow me to
your car.
Rama
Let them go, I dont want to worry the regulars.

77

One one
This isnt right. Hes taking the bread from our
childrens mouths.
Rama
But you see, the people hear a load of foreigners
Arguing and they think we are all the same. Id
rather let him go and not sink to that level.
Zero 7
But then they will take us for a bunch of cunts.
Rama
God knows the truth Zero 7; you see, he will be
judged one day.
(A man approaches the office.)
Man
Can I have a taxi to Kings Cross please?
Rama
Zero 7, take this man to Kings Cross, five
pounds.
Zero 7
Great!

SCENE 29 EXT NIGHT

Narration
This is typical of this fucking shithole. You
think for one moment that things are going okay
and then life takes a dump on you from a great
height. So, I lose a twenty quid fare and get a
fiver, fucking brilliant. Still, fuck face in the
back looks like hes had a good time tonight.
Hes either been getting his end away while
wifely waits over a slowly steaming dinner or
hes been promoted, okay for some.
Still perhaps F will come across with that gear
and I might make some dough for a change. No more
78

worrying about the credit crunch, global warming,

terrorist, bad drugs and violence. No more
driving these shit faced cunts around like a
fucking Joey. I might even get ahead of the game
for once.
Get out of this fucking shithole. Look at it,
gleaming like a two-bill whore. Gleaming, yet
under the surface there is nothing but pain and
heartache. People only get to know this town late
at night, when vomit fills the gutters and the
stench of piss fills the air. During the day the
city sleeps its only now at night that it comes
out and you see the real place.
The drunken idiots fighting in the alleys. The
vermin rotted slags selling their crusty bits in
shop doorways, the kids trying to earn a buck to
keep their arses off the street.
I hate this fucking place, shit, but I love it
too. Where else can you score the best rock you
ever smoked at four in the morning. Where else
can you get the best ecstasy and listen to the
best hardcore in Europe. Where else can you meet
a stranger at midnight and have sex in a side
street.
Its cheap and its nasty but its my cheap and
nasty.
Zero 7
Hay, Fuck face, were here.
Man
Did you say something?
Zero 7
Kings Cross mate, we are here.
(Soon he is pulling up back outside the office,
Rama is talking to One one as he approaches
them.)

79

Zero 7
Alright
One one
I am sorry to hear about your lost fare earlier.
You see this cunt, he needs to be fucked up good
and proper.
Zero 7
You know it, Ill abide my time and wait. Sooner
or later hell get whats coming to him. I wanted
to ask you something.
One one
Whats that?
Zero 7
That fare you took to Whitechapel earlier, was
the guy a German?
One one
You know him?
Zero 7
Not really.
One one
He owes you money?
Zero 7
No, I just want to know.
One one
I know hes a foreigner because I pick him up
from the airport every couple of weeks. I think
he comes here on business. He always asks me to
collect him and take him to this guest house in
Whitechapel, the same one every time. The guest
house opposite the hospital, you know the one.
Zero 7
The one near the blind beggar?
80

One one
You got it. I dont know the name of the place
but he always wants to go there.
Zero 7
Thanks, thats very interesting.
(Two women approach the office)
Woman
Hello Mr Rama, who is our driver tonight?
Rama
One-one, take these ladies home please, on
account.
(They watch the women go with One-one)
How is your girl treating you?
Zero 7
Shes okay.
Rama
Getting plenty of the jiggi-jiggi; ho, look at
this.
(An elaborately dressed transvestite approaches
the office.)
Transvestite
Hello love, can I have a car to Pimlico.
Rama
Seven pounds please, in advance. Zero 7, this
lady is for you.
(They walk to the car and climb in.|)
Transvestite
This is nice car, you must be a drug dealer.
Zero 7
81

Why do you say that?

Transvestite
Well, only drug dealers can afford cars like
this; you havent bought a brand new Merc from
your earnings as a cab driver have you?
Zero 7
My sugar daddy got it for me.
Transvestite
Dear, your arse must be red raw paying for this.
Come on, you are a drug dealer arent you?
Zero 7
No really, why?
Transvestite
Well, I want something, you know, a stone.
Zero 7
Oh, Ill get you one of those, what do you want,
a thirty of fifty?
Transvestite
Your not worried that Im a cop.
Zero 7
Come on, dressed like that love, I dont think
C.I.D are that eager to get a nicking. Do you
want one or not?
Transvestite
Are they okay?
Zero 7
The best crack you can get in London.
Transvestite
Well Ill have a thirty, can we get it now?
Zero 7
Let me just make a call.

82

SCENE 30 EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 and F are in an alley.)
Zero 7
Give me a twenty and a fifty,
F
Seventy quid please mate. I gave your sample to a
mate of mine. He recons it might be free-base e.
Apparently if it smells like liquorish thats the
precursor. Hes going to test if for impurities.
Zero 7
What, to see if its crap?
F
No man, apparently thats how you can tell what
it is. He was telling me, when they cook ecstasy
up they have to mix the precursor with other
stuff, like metals and what have you, thats what
causes the reaction to turn one thing into
another.
He says that each time they cook it a trace gets
left in the gear as an impurity. By finding out
what impurities are they can tell you exactly
what you got.
Zero 7
Blinding, when will you know?
F
I should get back to you tomorrow. Ill call you
man.
(He walks back to the car and climbs in)
Zero 7
One thirty pound stone.
Transvestite
Thats a nice size, Ill keep that in my mouth.
(Pops it in) Whats so funny?

83

Zero 7
Well, you keep it in your mouth, he keeps it up
his arse.
Transvestite
(Cough) Ohhhhh! Thanks for telling me.
SCENE 31 INT Day
(Zero 7 opens his eyes to find his girl shouting
at him. Hes sprawled on the sofa in his boxer
shorts a pipe and white ash on the table in front
of him.)
Girl
Do you have to make such a mess when you are
doing that shit.
Zero 7
Sorry, what time is it?
Girl
Its time you stopped messing with that crap. I
dont even use the shit and every morning its
everywhere, all over the table and the ash, its
a filthy habit.
Zero 7
Can I have some coffee please?

Girl
Dont take the piss out of me; get yourself up
and clean that shit away. What would happen if
the old bill came round; Ill tell you what, wed
both get nicked. Not you, both of us. Id loose
the lease to this place and be out on the
streets. If you want to smoke it, do it somewhere
else.
Zero 7
Give it a rest, you love me really.

84

Girl
You give it a rest. Youve already fucked your
car up, now you are going to fuck your body and
your mind up. Who will pick up the pieces when
you start falling apart, eh? Ive had all this
before
Zero 7
With Brian
Girl
Yes, with Brian. Look at him now, in jail. Is
that what you want?
Zero 7
Look, shut the fuck up, Im not Brian. Fucking
comparing me to that cunt, youre really getting
on my nerves now.
Girl
Good, I may get through to you at last. Im only
saying it for your own good.
Zero 7
Well whenever you want to give me a lecture you
bring up your ex.
Girl
Im worried about you; (She turns to face him)
what do you think about this lipstick, is it too
bright?
Zero 7
Sparkly. I like sparkly, give me a kiss and well
make up.
(She leans forward and he smears the lipstick
across her face)
Thats better.
Girl
You fucking shit.

85

Zero 7
What do you expect, I work all night, all night
mind you to keep you in sparkly lipstick and what
do I get, a load of abuse and comparisons with
Brian.
Girl
Leave Brian out of it.
Zero 7
You fucking brought him up. Come here and give me
a kiss you little raver.
Girl
I buy my own lipstick, you spend all yours on
that shit. Now, if you dont mind one of us has
got to go to work.
Zero 7
Go on, fuck off then.
Girl
Yha, dont be here when I get back, from now on I
want to see you by prior arrangement only.
Zero 7
Prior fucking arrangement, what am I, one of your
fucking punters?

Girl
No, if you were a punter wed have some sort of
sex life.
Zero 7
Oh, thats nice, kick a man while hes down.
Whats up, wrong time of the month?
Girl
Very funny. I just dont want that shit in my
life, you either choose it or me. Its that
simple.

86

(She puts her coat on and leaves. He bites his

lip and looks at the pipe on the table. The TV is
on in the background and theres an old black and
white film.
The actress is being given a ring by a suitor,
Zero 7 opens the foil wrap on the table and a
white lump falls out just as the girl says
Jesus, look at the size of the rock.
He smiles and loads a pipe. The phone rings and
he answers it finding F on the other end of the
line.)
Zero 7
Hello?
F
Its me man, you owe me forty quid.
Zero 7
Yha, whats the story?
F
Thats what the analysis cost.
Zero 7
Oh, right.
F
Yes, they found traces of Safrole, tin oxide,
mercury chloride and aluminium.
Zero 7
Whats does that mean, good or bad?
F
Like I said. Apparently the Safrole is the
precursor; that gets cooked up with tin to turn
it into an intermediate called P.2.P
Zero 7
87

P to p, right. Whats that then?

F
Its what they cook up with mercury and aluminium
to turn it into X. He reckons if you have an
ounce of free-base that works out to about an
ounce of pure crystal. He says all you got to do
is gas it up.
Zero 7
Gas it up, whats that then?
F
Apparently they mix salt, sulphuric acid and some
other acid together and it creates a gas. They
run this gas through the free-base and it
crystallizes. The cook I know wants you to bring
the ounce to him and hell gas it up.
Providing they get the result they are expecting
there could be seven grand in it for you, thats
after I take my cut of course.
Zero 7
Sounds good. Arrange it for me. As soon as
theyre ready Ill bring the bottle over. Bye.
(He turns the TV over and a news report is on
about another stabbing in the city, more death
and carnage, then a story attracts his attention,
a killing in the West End last night, a man was
killed in a club brawl just down Brewer St.)
Ahh, so thats what all the fuss was about.
(He turns off the T.V)
SCENE 32 EXT NIGHT
(He pulls up outside the office, as he approaches
the doorway a man approaches him)
Man
Want a girl Sir? Nice sexy girl, out-of-hour
drinks club?
88

Zero 7
Not tonight mate.
Man
Well, fuck you, cocksucker.
Zero 7
Charming.
Three three
Its quiet tonight, all the fuss with that guy
last night, its keeping the punters away.
Zero 7
Tell Rama Im just going to see my girl, Ill be
back soon.
Three three
Right you are, mate.
(Zero 7 walks up Brewer St into the arcade where
the Raymond Review bar is. A girl is in the
doorway, she winks at him and he smiles back.
Further on he sees a couple bartering the price
of sex in a doorway. He crosses Rupert St and
enters a doorway with the legend Colt Cinema
above the door.)
SCENE 33 INT NIGHT.
(Inside the doorway is an empty room except for a
table that a man sits behind. Hanging on the wall
behind him is a selection of rubber and
leatherwear. The mans name is Jimmy, a thickset
Irish man.)
Jimmy
Hi Mr Cabman, how are you tonight?
Zero 7
Could be better. Hows business?
Jimmy
89

Not bad, a couple of nice boys downstairs and the

usual crowd; you want a snort?
Zero 7
You offering?
Jimmy
Of course, my friend. Anything to get me a
cheaper ride home. No only kidding, hows the
girl?
(He lifts a small mirror from behind the table
and on it is a rolled twenty pound note and a
couple lines of cocaine. Zero 7 takes a sniff and
hands back the mirror)
Zero 7
Oh, we had a tiff. Shes okay though.
Jimmy
I was talking to her the other day, I saw her in
Mickeys spieler, when was that, Tuesday I think.
The girls got a lot on her mind at present. Has
she not said anything?
Zero 7
No, not a dicky.
Jimmy
Oh, give her time.
Zero 7
Whats going on?
Jimmy
Come on, its not like me to break a confidence.
You speak to her. Dont take her moods too
personally, get her to open up; okay my friend.
Zero 7
Okay, in the meantime
Jimmy
90

Feel free
(He nods toward a doorway at the back and Zero 7
enters a second room. It is dark, a porn film is
flickering on a far wall and loud techno is
blaring out through huge speakers. Zero 7 finds a
dark corner where he can see the action. A
cigarette glows nearby and in the brief light he
sees a pair of eyes glare at him.
Over by the screen a couple are engaged in a lewd
act, their bodies sometime get in the way of the
picture and grunting bodies are projected on
their bare skin. He is aware of a person glide up
to him and there is an exchange of silent
glances.
Zero 7 takes a cigarette from a packet and lights
it up, in the flicker of the lighter flame he
sees a young boy looking into his eyes, the boy
reaches out and strokes his hair. Zero 7 takes a
drag from the cigarette and the boy goes down on
to his knees.
Zero 7 exhales and undoes his trousers. Then his
eyes close and he rocks to the rhythm of the
music for a moment as he feels the cocaine reach
his brain cells. The music fills his head ands he
breaths deeply; almost in a rhythmic trance.
Then, with a gasp and sigh, he takes another suck
from his cigarette and leans back against the
wall. The boy comes up, smiles and gently kisses
him on the lips.)
SCENE 34 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 approaches the office, Rama is standing
outside with his clipboard)
Rama
How are you, ready for work now?
Zero 7
Yha, and you?
91

Rama
Im always ready for work, its quiet now but I
think tonight my drivers are all going to make
money; what you say Three three?
Three three
Well all do a ton. Hay Zero 7, isnt that your
black friend there?
(He turns and sees F approaching, Zero 7 goes to
meet him.)
Zero 7
How are you mate?
F
Things are good. I realised I still had your
sample in my pocket, I only needed a swipe for
the test; you can add what that cost to the money
we get weighed out.
Zero 7
When will that be?
F
Well, they want to gas up the free base tomorrow
afternoon, if all goes well the dough will be
there. Here, take this.
(He passes over a small plastic bag)
That stuff if so potent I could feel it even
though I never took any internally, only touched
the blotter. It seeped through the pours in my
fingers; so be careful with that. What will you
do with it?
Zero 7
I have some ideas. Give me a call when you are
ready tomorrow then.

92

(They walk to the end of the street and see a man

and woman arguing with a black guy, the woman
shouts:)
Woman
Irish, John, calm down. Irish, please
F
She works in one of the flats doesnt she?
Zero 7
Yes, that guy is her, er, landlord. I dont know
who the black guy is.
F
I just sold him a rock; he was probably smoking
it in their doorway, they dont look too pleased
about something, do they? Id better go.
(They part company as the black guy and the Irish
man start to wrestle in the street, the girl is
screaming for them to stop as a siren goes off in
the distance.)
Rama
That man fighting there, hes the one they call
The Irish, yes?
Zer0 7
Thats right, I wouldnt like to tangle with him.
Rama
You English, you call the Irish Paddies dont
you?
Zero 7
Some English do, I personally dont.
Rama
And the Scots, what do you call them.
Zero 7
I told you, I dont go for all that stereotyping.
93

Rama
Oh come on. Its funny.
Three three
They call Scots people Jocks, Irish are paddies
Welsh are taffies
Zero 7
French are froggies, Spaniards are spicks,
Italians are I-ties and Germans are called
krauts..
Rama
And what about us?
Zero 7
I dont know about that.
Three three
They call us pakis. It doesnt matter to an
Englishman if you come from Pakistan or not, any
Asian is called this thing. Its funny isnt it.
If you are white they are particular about what
country you are from before they call you these
things, but an Asian; he could be from India,
Suri Lanka, Malaysia, Turkey; they are always
pakis.
Rama
Its true; why is this Zero 7?
Zero 7
Come on boys, dont blame me for the fucking
ignorance of Mr Little Englander. I dont give a
shit for all those shitty boxes people want to
put other people into. As far as Im concerned we
are all people trying to get through life without
complications.
Still, talking about Turkish people, excuse me a
moment, I have something to say to the fat
controller down there.

94

Rama
I dont want no trouble
(Zero 7 walks towards the other drivers gathered
around their coffee urn on the pavement. As he
gets nearer he takes the plastic baggie that F
had given him out of his pocket and Palms it. He
approaches the fat Turk.)
Zero 7
Sorry mate, have you got any vacancies for
drivers. Ive had it with that lot up there.
Turk
Well, I dont know.
Zero 7
That coffee smells good, it is coffee isnt it?
(He lifts the lid on the urn and peers inside
before cautiously dropping the plastic baggie in
the urn.)
Turk
Little man, get away from there.
Zero 7
Jesus, that shit smells disgusting. Sorry mate, I
couldnt work for a place that gives its drivers
such poor quality coffee, sorry.
Turk
Thats Turkish coffee, the best in the world. You
are talking through your arse. Go on fuck off
back to your office
Zero 7
Well, its just not my cup of tea
Turk
You dont know real coffee till youve tasted
Turkish.

95

Rama
Zero 7 come back, you have a customer. Quickly
please, take this man to Victoria.
SCENE 35 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7s girl comes from her room and lights a
cigarette while locking the door. She becomes
aware of a man standing behind her.)
Girl
Hi, sorry were closed.
Man
You look like the special girl I am looking for
tonight.
Girl
I am closing up, this room has to be vacated at
midnight so Im sorry youll have to come back
tomorrow.
Man
I am leaving the country in the morning. I have
somewhere we can go.
Girl
I dont know about that.
Man
Ill make it worth your while.
Girl
Oh yha, what are we talking about here? I usually
charge fifty quid an hour for spanks and wanks,
no full sex.
Man
Thats right, I heard. How about three hundred
for an hour.
Girl
Three hundred?
96

Man
And Ill pay your cab fare back to wherever you
want to go after.
Girl
You must be desperate?
Man
Like I said, I am leaving London in the morning;
please. You really look like my kind of girl;
special.
Girl
I am special.
Man
Come I know where we can get a taxi.
Girl
So do I, just up Brewer St.
Man
Yes, but I dont like a lot of small talk, my
English is not so good.
Girl
Whatever you say.
SCENE 36 EXT NIGHT
(Zero 7 pulls up and joins Rama and One one at
the office.)
Rama
Hay Zero 7, look down there.
(There is a commotion outside the Turkish office.
One of their drivers has collided with another
driver and they are shouting loudly at one
another in Turkish. The fat controller is trying
to calm things down but doesnt seem to have a
handle on reality.)
One one
97

What do you think is going on with that lot?

Zero 7
I think they might be meeting their god.
Rama
You have a fare Zero 7, this lady and her man
friend would like to go locally, they have paid.
(Zero 7 notices the woman and man waiting to one
side and he leads them to his car. They climb in
the back as he slips behind the wheel.)
Zero 7
Where to?
Woman
Just drive around, you know left then left again
and left, Ill tell you when were through.
Zero 7
Oh, its like that is it.
(He starts the car engine as Rama comes to his
open window.)
Rama
You just missed your girl Zero 7.
Zero 7
Oh yha, did she get a cab home?
Rama
No, three three took her and a man to
whitechapel.
Zero 7
Okay . Its like that is it?
(He looks into his rear view mirror and sees the
woman getting into some serious tongue action
with the man. He shakes his head and starts to

98

think about what Rama had said. He picks up his

mobile and rings the office.)
Zero 7
Hi Mr Rama, can you give me Three threes phone
number? He hasnt got a mobile tonight, right,
can you remember if the man who was with my girl
was German.
German? Youre not sure but he was a foreigner.
How long did they leave? About ten fifteen
minutes yes. Just get Three three to call me as
soon as he gets back to the office. Its very
important, thankyou.
Man in rear seat
(To his woman) Thats right put your leg there.
(Zero 7 drives his car through the Raymond Review
Arcade making people jump out of his way, then up
through Berwick St. He does a sharp left at the
top of Berwick Street scraping the right wing off
the Merc on the side of a shop as he turns
towards Wardore Street.
Racing up to Marlebone Rd he rips off a side
mirror as he crashes onto Marlebone heading
towards Kings cross.)
Woman in back
Thats the way, faster.
(Zero 7 puts his foot down and races through a
red light at Kings Cross station almost colliding
with another car as he heads eastbound towards
the connection of Upper St and City Rd.)
Faster, you fucking bastard, faster.
(He crashes into a car coming onto City Rd from
Islington and forces it into a spin ripping the
front passenger side wing from the car)

99

Thats the point,(The woman squeals with delight)

harder, you cunt
SCENE 37 INT NIGHT
(The German leads the girl up a narrow flight of
stairs towards a door at the top. She looks
uncomfortable.)
Girl
Is it up here?
German
Be quiet.
(He unlocks the door and pushes her into the
sparsely furnished room locking the door behind
them.)
Lay on the bed.
Girl
Dont you want me to undress?
German
I will not warn you again, silence.
(He places a finger to his lips. Then gentle lays
her down. Gently he takes one wrist and lifts it
to the top of the bed before deftly clicking on a
handcuff.)
Girl
I did not agree to that.
German
Silence. (He slaps her face) Open your legs.
Girl
I dont fuck, I told you that.
German
(Slapping her again.) Silence bitch, do you want
me to tape your mouth, I will you know.

100

Girl
No, its okay.
German
Open your legs, let me see your pussy.
(He starts to rip off her clothing)
Girl
Youre hurting me. Stop that.
(Slap. She sees a glint of a blade in the half
light of the room and becomes aware of him
cutting at her clothing, exposing her chest.)
German
Very smooth, like a boy. Let me smell your fear.
(He sniffs her armpits and she realises that she
is in a very vulnerable position with someone who
is not quite right in the head.)
Girl
You like that, take this cuff off and let me play
with you. I will
(Slap)
German
Silence bitch.

SCENE 38 EXT NIGHT

(Zero 7 pulls up outside the guest house in
Whitechapel Rd Three three had mentioned. The car
is looking like a wreak.)
Woman in back seat
That was the best fuck Ive ever had, I need a
cigarette.
(Zero 7 reaches under his seat and collects his
stun gun and mace as his phone rings.)
101

Zero 7
Thanks for phoning me back, that German guy, do
you know what room he is in?
Three three
No, but there is a warden at night, he may know.
You have to buzz room one for him, you okay?
Zero 7
Not really, could you call the old bill and tell
them to come to the guest house, say theres a
disturbance.
Three three
Is there a disturbance?
Zero 7
Not yet, but there is going to be, just get the
Old bill here pronto.
(He climbs from the car and goes to the door of
the guest house pressing the buzzer for room one.
In a short while the door is opened by an old
man. Zero 7 walks past him)
Old man
What do you want, you cant just barge in here
its not right.
Zero 7
I am a police officer, have you a German tourist
staying here?
Old man
Wheres your identity badge.
Zero 7
Look I havent got the time for this, have you
got one or not?
Old man
A German, I dont think so.

102

Zero 7
Middle aged, cropped greying hair, European
accent.
Old man
That sounds like the man in the top room. Up
there. Wheres your I.D?
(Zero 7 dashes up the stairs)
SCENE 39 INT NIGHT
(The girl is almost naked, the German reaches out
with the knife and cuts through her panties. He
recoils.)
German
Sie sind nicht eine frau, sie sind en mann.
(He scratches his head)
This is most interesting. You British are a
strange lot. Ich kamhier zu toten eine frau habe
ich mich nunn zu toten zwie idiot manner, did you
understand that. Ill translate, I came to kill a
woman but found only two idiot men, yes, now you
must die for this
(He places the blade at her throat)
Girl
Please, no
(Suddenly the door is knocked upon, the German
covers the girl with a blanket and opens the door
gently)
German
What do you want?
Zero 7
I need to check something, can you let me in?
German
Do I know you? You dont work here

103

Zero 7
No, but you have something of mine. I want it
back.
German
I can assure you I have nothing of yours here.
(The door is forced and a stun gun goes into the
Germans chest. He recoils as the volts shoot
through his body.)
Zero 7
Wanna bet.
(He enters the room and sees the blanket on the
bed, pulling it to one side he comes face to face
with his girl.)
Are you okay.
Girl
Watch out. (Her eyes say it all, he turns just in
time to see the blade come down and enter his
shoulder.
The two men start to wrestle on the floor, the
stun gun falls into the Germans hands and he
zaps Zero 7 making his writhe in agony on the
floor. The German climbs on top of him and pins
his arms down.)
German
This is interesting isnt it? You realise Ill
never be able to use this guest house again, and
I did so like the view from my window.
Zero 7
Just let us go, no one has to know about this.
German
I came here to kill a woman, now because of your
friends silly games I am going to have to kill
two men, where is the fun in that?

104

(Zero 7 looks up to see his girl, behind the man,

raise from the bed with the blade in her free
hand. It swoops down and enters the Germans neck
making him drop instantaneously. He pushes the
body from him and goes to her taking the bloody
knife from her hand. He undoes the cuff on her
wrist.)
Girl
Can we get out of here?
(He leads the girl down to the street door with a
blanket wrapped around her. The old man is still
waiting at the bottom of the stairs)
Old man
What was all that noise about?
Zero 7
The uniformed branch are heading here, when they
arrive, give them this.(He hands the old man the
purse he found on the Rossini girl) Tell then
that I found it in his room.

105

SCENE 40 INT DAY

(Zero 7 and a young boy, his girl without her
drag on, walk into a coffee shop. They see the
old woman from the Salvation Army sitting at a
table with a man and a woman.)
Zero 7
Are you ready for this?
His girl (Charlie)
I should have called them ages ago. Come on, how
bad can it be?
(As they approach the table the old man raises
and holds out his hands)
Old man
Charlie, is that you?
Charlie
Yes dad, hello. This is my friend Stephen.
Old man
Come, sit down with me and your mother, and of
course, this woman who found you.

The End
C: The DogBreathes

2009
(all rights reserved) David William Kirby

106