The Car

THE CAR
by Eric Ferguson
Copyright 1995 by Eric Ferguson.
All rights reserved.
57! "ossen Terr#ce $!
%inne#polis& %' 55(17
voice)*#+, -.1!/7!.0..(
1*ergie2pioneerpl#net.in*i.net3
-"l#c4out. Engine noises #re he#rd. 5ound o* # c#r engine st#lling. 6ights
co7e up. There #re *our ch#irs& #rr#nged #s the *ront #nd b#c4 se#ts o* # c#r.
'o other set or props #re used. 8river is sitting in the driver9s se#t. He
:e#rs # ne#t& :ell *itting business suit. ;#ssenger is se#ted in the b#c4
se#t. He or she :e#rs # suit si7il#r to 8river9s but it is un4e7pt #nd too
l#rge& :ith the <#c4et unbuttoned& shirt h#nging out etc./
8R=>ER
?h no& :h#t no:@
;A55E'AER
Bhy #re :e stopped& did you hit #nother bu7p or get #nother *l#t@
8R=>ER
"e Cuiet #nd close your eyes. =9ll 7#4e so7e engine noises :ith 7y 7outh #nd
you9ll thin4 :e9re 7oving #g#in. - He 7#4es so7e engine noises. He coughs./
;A55E'AER
Bh#t h#ppened to your rhetoric@
8R=>ER
Dust see :h#t9s :rong.
;A55E'AER
Eou see :h#t9s :rong. =t9s your c#r.
8R=>ER
= let you sh#re it& don9t =@
;A55E'AER
1
5h#re it@ Eou never let 7e drive. =97 #l:#ys stuc4 in the b#c4 so7e:here.
8R=>ER
Bell& it9s very nice o* 7e to c#rry you #long.
;A55E'AER
C#rry 7e #longF = *i+ the *l#ts& = p#y *or the g#s to 4eep this thing going. =
give you 7ore th#n you deserve.
8R=>ER
Eou don9t give 7e 7ore th#n = deserve. = h#ve e#rned everything = #7 given by
virtue o* being the driver.
;A55E'AER
Bho 7#de you the driver@ = didn9t vote *or you.
8R=>ER
This c#r isn9t # de7ocr#cy. = :#s born # driver. "y virtue o* h#ving been born
into # cert#in pl#ce& = h#ve e#rned everything th#t9s given to 7e or th#t =
c#n l#y 7y h#nds on.
;A55E'AER
This is #bsurd. 5o :h#t no:@
8R=>ER
Aet out #nd see :h#t9s :rong.
;A55E'AER
Eou9re the driver. Eou see :h#t9s :rong.
8R=>ER
=9ve been in the driver9s se#t& :h#t& #bout # hundred #nd *i*ty ye#rs no:@ =97
not getting out.
;A55E'AER
?h #ll right. -Aets out o* c#r./ 5o :h#t do = do no:@
8R=>ER
6oo4 #t the tires.
;A55E'AER
-6oo4s #t the tires./ Ee#h@
8R=>ER
6oo4 #t the t#illights.
!
;A55E'AER
Bhy the t#illights@
8R=>ER
They9re #t the sur*#ce. = don9t :#nt to bother digging do:n into #nything.
;A55E'AER
?4& :h#t9s ne+t@
8R=>ER
The license pl#te.
;A55E'AER
Bell& 7ost o* the pl#te is covered :ith 7ud& but the 7otto Gthe st#te o*
prosperityG is still re#d#ble. %ust be *or the *ilthy rich. -6#ughs. 8river
doesn9t <oin in./
8R=>ER
Chec4 the br#4eline.
;A55E'AER
The :h#t@
8R=>ER
The br#4eline.
;A55E'AER
Be9ve never bothered :ith the br#4eline be*ore.
8R=>ER
Be9re bothering :ith it this ti7e.
;A55E'AER
Bhere is the the br#4eline@
8R=>ER
Bell& uh& let 7e thin4.
;A55E'AER
=t9s your thin4ing th#t got us into this 7ess.
8R=>ER
%y thin4ing@F
;A55E'AER
Ees& your thin4ing.

8R=>ER
Eou don9t re#lly thin4 so.
;A55E'AER
= don9t do the thin4ing& you do.
8R=>ER
Th#t9s ho: it ought to be.
;A55E'AER
;erh#ps it9s ti7e = st#rted driving # c#r. A c#r :ith roo7 in the *ront *or
everybody .
8R=>ER
;erh#ps = ought to let you touch the steering :heel.
;A55E'AER
?* course you 7#y do the thin4ing #nd driving #s long #s you li4e. Th#t is the
n#tur#l order o* things.
8R=>ER
=97 gl#d you re#liHe it. 'o: chec4 the br#4eline.
;A55E'AER
Bell& :here the hec4 is the br#4eline@
8R=>ER
6oo4 under the c#r.
;A55E'AER
Inder@F
8R=>ER
Ees.
;A55E'AER
"ut you s#id& #nd = Cuote& G= don9t :#nt to bother digging do:n into
#nything.G
8R=>ER
At the ti7e = 7e#nt digging do:n :ouldn9t be :orth it. 'o: = thin4 = sh#ll
ch#nge it to 7e#n th#t = don9t :#nt to dig do:n into it. 'o: get do:n there.
;A55E'AER
All right. -;#ssenger loo4s under the c#r #nd gets up #g#in./ ?h& hey& there9s
(
so7e guy stuc4 under the c#r.
8R=>ER
Ee#h& = thin4 = 7ight h#ve he#rd #bout th#t. Ho:9s the br#4eline@
;A55E'AER
Fine.
8R=>ER
6oo4 #t the engine. -;#ssenger po4es #round in the engine& burns # *inger& #nd
gets b#c4 in the c#r./ 8id you loo4 #t the engine@
;A55E'AER
Ee#h.
8R=>ER
=s it still there@
;A55E'AER
Ee#h.
8R=>ER
Th#t9s not it then. 6et9s <ust sit here # :hile #nd 7#ybe so7ething :ill
h#ppen -They sit./
;A55E'AER
C#n = co7e up *ront no:@
8R=>ER
'o.
;A55E'AER
Bhy not@
8R=>ER
"ec#use =97 not giving up 7y pl#ce #s the driver.
;A55E'AER
Eou could <ust let 7e touch the steering :heel.
8R=>ER
=t9s not s#*e *or you to co7e up here :hile the c#r is 7oving.
;A55E'AER
"ut it9s not 7oving.
5
8R=>ER
Bell th#t9s the proble7& isn9t it.
;A55E'AER
Then :hy c#n9t = co7e up there@
8R=>ER
8on9t :orry #bout th#t until :e get 7oving #g#in.
;A55E'AER
"ut you s#id it9s not s#*e *or 7e to 7ove up there :hile the c#r is 7oving.
8R=>ER
=t9s not. Be 7ight h#ve #n #ccident. Eou 7ight thro: things out o* :h#c4.
;A55E'AER
= c#n9t 7ove :hile :e9re still bec#use :e h#ve to get 7oving #g#in& #nd =
c#n9t 7ove :hile :e9re 7oving bec#use it9s not s#*e.
8R=>ER
=t9s not 7y *#ult.
;A55E'AER
Dust :hy isn9t it s#*e@
8R=>ER
Eou #ll h#ve to 7#4e s#cri*ices.
;A55E'AER
8on9t you 7e#n :e #ll@
8R=>ER
'o& = don9t.
;A55E'AER
8on9t you h#ve to 7#4e s#cri*ices@
8R=>ER
?* course not.
;A55E'AER
Bhy not@
8R=>ER
Bell& you 7#4e s#cri*ices so = c#n h#ve 7ore roo7 to :or4 :ith& so = c#n 4eep
the c#r going. Th#t9s :hy you 7ust st#y behind 7e& so = c#n get the c#r
.
running #g#in.
;A55E'AER
"ut = still st#y behind you :hen :e9re 7oving.
8R=>ER
Eou don9t :#nt to upset things once the c#r is recovering.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t9s the point i* =97 still b#c4 here@
8R=>ER
Bell i* you c#n9t co7pete it9s your o:n *#ult. The driver9s se#t is reserved
*or those :ho :in it.
;A55E'AER
Eou didn9t :in it. Eou inherited th#t se#t.
8R=>ER
5o7e people #re <ust luc4y.
;A55E'AER
= thin4 :e 7ight be overdoing this co7petition thing # bit.
8R=>ER
"e c#re*ul. Eou9re sounding li4e so7e co77ie soci#list :i7p.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t =97 trying to tell you is...
8R=>ER
%#ybe =9ll let you hon4 the horn.
;A55E'AER
?* course& co7petition c#n only help us #long.
8R=>ER
= 4ne: you9d see it 7y :#y. -p#use/
;A55E'AER
6et9s c#ll # 7ech#nic no:.
8R=>ER
6et9s give the c#r ti7e to str#ighten itsel* out.
;A55E'AER
7
6et9s t#l4 #bout the election.
8R=>ER
6et9s do th#t.
;A55E'AER
6et9s thin4 #bout :ho to vote *or.
8R=>ER
6et9s e+#7ine the issues in order to pretend :e9re 7#4ing #n intelligent
decision.
;A55E'AER
6et9s stop #ll this let0letting.
8R=>ER
The i7port#nt thing is getting the roc404ic4ing proble7s str#ightened out.
;A55E'AER
Ee#h& the :#y roc4s #re 4ic4ed these d#ys& it9s getting out o* h#nd.
8R=>ER
At le#st there9s # choice this ti7e #round.
;A55E'AER
8o you usu#lly vote *or the lu7per p#rty or the su7per p#rty@
8R=>ER
?h& :ell& the lu7per p#rty o* course. Isu#lly there9s not # gre#t de#l o*
di**erence& though the lu7per p#rty le#ns # little 7ore in 7y direction.
;A55E'AER
There9s # good di**erence this ye#r though.
8R=>ER
?h ye#h& the lu7per c#ndid#te is #d#7#nt #bout str#ight0on 4ic4ing& :hile the
su7per *eels it9s 7ore progressive to 4ic4 roc4s soccer0style.
;A55E'AER
Th#t pretty :ell covers everything. There9s still so7e o* those e+tre7ist
p#rties :ho s#y :e shouldn9t be 4ic4ing roc4s #t #ll& :e should be spending
our ti7e helping 7#n4ind& #s i* helping 7#n4ind :ouldn9t lo:er our st#nd#rd o*
living. "ut :e9ve got #s :ide # choice #s you could #s4 *or. Eou s#y you9re
voting lu7per.
8R=>ER
J
8e*initely.
;A55E'AER
=9ve been 4ind o* :#vering. The su7pers do h#ve so7e good points.
8R=>ER
=* the lu7pers get elected you 7ight be #ble to 7ove up to the *ront.
;A55E'AER
Eou9re right& :e better stic4 :ith the lu7pers #:hile.
8R=>ER
5ure. "esides& the lu7pers h#ve # good point. Are people better o** #*ter
4ic4ing soccer0style # *e: ye#rs@
;A55E'AER
;eople h#ve # right to e+pect th#t they :ill #uto7#tic#lly get richer #nd
richer. Though 7#ybe :e shouldn9t :orry so 7uch #bout 7#teri#l things.
8R=>ER
8on9t be ridiculous. Everything runs on 7#teri#l sel*0interest.
;A55E'AER
"ut you #nd = don9t do everything out o* 7#teri#l sel*0interest.
8R=>ER
?h no& :e9re not sel*ish. As 7uch. "ut li*e9s never going to be good i*
everyone stops loo4ing out *or nu7ber one.
;A55E'AER
Bell& = :ouldn9t go Cuite th#t *#r.
8R=>ER
Bh#t do you 7e#n you :ouldn9t go th#t *#r@F Eou9re not going to st#rt being
one o* those pipe0dre#7ing types& #re you@F
;A55E'AER
=97 not # pipe0dre#7erF = never dre#7t #bout pipes in 7y li*eF
8R=>ER
;eople li4e you c#n9t see7 to get it through your he#ds th#t the :orld h#s
#l:#ys been run on sel*0interest. Everything runs on sel*0interest #nd the
:orld :or4s <ust *ine. Everything is hun4y0dory #nd should be le*t #s it is.
=t doesn9t :or4 :hen =97 h#7pered by stop signs #nd tr#**ic l#:s #nd #ll th#t
rot.
9
;A55E'AER
-6e#ning on *ront se#t/ = r#n into one o* those r#dic#l& Cuestion #uthority
#nd everything else types...
8R=>ER
;essi7ists you 7e#n.
;A55E'AER
6e*tists& pessi7ists& so7ething li4e th#t. Any:#y& = r#n into one b#c4 #t one
o* those pl#ces :e stopped #t the other d#y. = tried to tell hi7 everything
:or4s #ll right the :#y it is #nd he #s4ed 7e :h#t = 7e#nt by :or4s.
8R=>ER
Bh#t did you s#y@
;A55E'AER
= told hi7 he :#s # du7b co77ie #nd = le*t.
8R=>ER
Th#t9s telling hi7.
;A55E'AER
'o: c#n = co7e up *ront@
8R=>ER
'o. -;#ssenger 7oves b#c4. p#use/
;A55E'AER
5ee i* the c#r :ill st#rt yet.
8R=>ER
-Tries to st#rt the c#r./ 'ope.
;A55E'AER
?h& g#sp o* e+#sper#tion. -p#use./ 'o: c#n = c#ll # 7ech#nic@
8R=>ER
Ees.
;A55E'AER
%ech#nic. -Enter %ech#nic./
%ECHA'=C
Ees@
;A55E'AER
1K
Could you h#ve # loo4 #t our c#r@
%ECHA'=C
Bh#t9s the 7#tter :ith it@
;A55E'AER
=t doesn9t :or4.
%ECHA'=C
Bh#t do you 7e#n by :or4@
;A55E'AER
-To 8river/ = bet he9s # co77unist.
8R=>ER
Re7e7ber our sel*0interest.
;A55E'AER
The engine doesn9t do #nything.
%ECHA'=C
5ounds li4e you c#lled 7e in the nic4 o* ti7e. -He goes over to the c#r #nd
le#ns #g#inst it. ;#ssenger :#its *or hi7 to do so7ething./
;A55E'AER
Are you going to loo4 #t the c#r or #re you going to sCuint into the sun #ll
d#y@
%ECHA'=C
?h no& 7ister -7#9#7/ =97 not going to sCuint into the sun #ll d#y. =t9s b#d
*or your eyes. -p#use/ ?4& =97 re#dy to h#ve # loo4.
;A55E'AER
Aood.
%ECHA'=C
Bhich c#r is yours@
;A55E'AER
The one :ith the big shot in it.
%ECHA'=C
-B#l4s over to 8river #nd loo4s #t hi7. 8river #nd %ech#nic st#re #t e#ch
other *ro7 # *e: inches #:#y. %ech#nic turns to ;#ssenger./ Hi7& eh@
-;#ssenger nods yes. %ech#nic loo4s #g#in #t 8river./ 6oo4s only #ver#ge siHed
to 7e. - %ech#nic 7oves over to engine #nd loo4s #t it. He re7oves # p#rt #nd
11
h#nds it to ;#ssenger./ Hold on to this # 7o7ent. -;#ssenger drops it bec#use
it is hot. %ech#nic h#nds ;#ssenger #nother p#rt :hich is dropped. Repe#t./
;A55E'AER
Th#t9s hotter th#n the restF
%ECHA'=C
-Holds out #nother p#rt./ T#4e this too.
;A55E'AER
?h no& let hi7 t#4e th#t one.
%ECHA'=C
Here& t#4e this.
8R=>ER
Bh#t@ -T#4es the p#rt #nd doesn9t burn hi7sel*./
;A55E'AER
?h *or he#ven9s s#4e.
8R=>ER
5o7ething :rong@
;A55E'AER
'ot th#t = c#n tell.
%ECHA'=C
-6oo4s #round underne#th c#r./ Hey& = thin4 = *ound p#rt o* your proble7.
There9s so7e guy pinned under your c#r.
8R=>ER
Ees& = thin4 he -she/ s#id so7ething #bout it e#rlier.
%ECHA'=C
He s#ys he9s #ngry #nd i* you don9t get hi7 out he9ll turn the c#r over.
8R=>ER
Ho:9s the engine@
%ECHA'=C
Bell& =9ll tell y#& she9s going to need so7e speci#l tools. 5he9s got so7e
proble7s you 4no:.
8R=>ER
8o :h#t you h#ve to.
1!
%ECHA'=C
Bell& =9ll tell y#& c#rrying those tools is # rough& h#rd& long& slo:&
tortuous& sinecurous& dirty& 7e#n <ob. = could sure use so7e help.
8R=>ER
8on9t :orry #bout it& it9s no trouble #t #ll. Ao :ith hi7.
;A55E'AER
%e #g#in@F
8R=>ER
Bhen it9s running #g#in& = 7ight be #ble to *ind so7e sp#re roo7 in the *ront
se#t.
;A55E'AER
-to %ech#nic/ 6et9s go. Ti7e is 7oney #nd there9s # *ront se#t riding on this.
%ECHA'=C
=9d r#ther h#ve doll#rs #nd th#t *ront se#t isn9t riding on #nything until =
get the engine *i+ed. -They e+it/
8R=>ER
-;#use& then to #udience./ 8on9t :orry& they9ll be b#c4 be*ore long. They
#l:#ys c#7e b#c4 in rehe#rs#l. ?* course& :e #l:#ys h#d # c#ndy b#r :#iting
*or the7. "ut :e *igured& :ell& it is # per*or7#nce #*ter #ll& they :on9t need
#ny sort o* pro7pting. "esides& the vending 7#chine :#s out o* order. -p#use/
= hope you :eren9t e+pecting 7e to 4eep you entert#ined. =97 not getting out
o* this driver9s se#t or =97 li#ble to *ind th#t little pip0sCue#4 *ro7 b#c4
there 7oving into 7y pl#ce. Ho: do you li4e th#t runt& :#vering on :ho he9s
going to vote *or. He9ll vote lu7per bec#use li4e everyone else he votes his
poc4etboo4. He9s one o* th#t huge group o* voters :ho :ould vote *or #
concrete bloc4 i* it pro7ised to cut t#+es. A lot o* politici#ns #re initi#lly
success*ul th#t :#y. -;#ssenger #nd %ech#nic enter c#rrying # huge tool bo+
:hich is very he#vy. 6i4e the c#r this is p#nto7i7ed./
;A55E'AER
?4& o4& t#4e it e#sy& this bo+ is he#vy. C#re*ul& don9t :#nt this bugger to
slip.
%ECHA'=C
= don9t 4no: #bout bugging& but this stu** :ill *i+ # c#r.
8R=>ER
Eou9re b#c4& eh@
1
;A55E'AER
Ees& 7y b#c4 #nd 7y shoulders #nd 7y h#7strings #nd 7y #n4les #nd 7y #r7s #nd
<ust #bout everything else.
8R=>ER
Bould you li4e so7e help@
;A55E'AER
-5urprised/ Ees& :e :ould.
8R=>ER
Dust :ondering.
;A55E'AER
Aro#n.
%ECHA'=C
?4& set 9er do:n over here.
8R=>ER
B#it& not thereF Luic4& 7ove it over thereF -They 7ove to the other side o*
the st#ge./ 'o: turn it #round& turn& turnF 'o: 7ove b#c4 to the other sideF
Meep going& 4eep goingF -They 7ove #round the c#r #nd b#c4 to :here they
origin#lly :ere. / 5top thereF 6i*t your right legs& hold itF Eou t:o loo4
very silly.
%ECHA'=C
8oes he #l:#ys get people to :or4 #g#inst e#ch other li4e th#t@
;A55E'AER
Eou should see hi7 h#ndling l#bor rel#tions. -%ech#nic :or4s on the c#r.
;#ssenger gets into the b#c4 se#t./ =97 e+h#usted.
8R=>ER
= told you you :ould h#ve to 7#4e s#cri*ices to get the c#r :or4ing #g#in.
Eou9ve given 7e # ch#nce to rest up *ro7 the h#rd ti7es =9ve been going
through.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t h#rd ti7es@
8R=>ER
%ind your 7#nners. -They 7ove #s i* the c#r h#s <ust been given # sudden <olt.
%ech#nic loo4s underne#th the c#r./ Bh#t :#s th#t@
%ECHA'=C
1(
=t :#s this guy under the c#r here. He s#ys he 7e#ns business. 5#y buddy&
th#t9s re#lly # b#d de#l& you being stuc4 do:n there li4e th#t. "ut #s long #s
you9re do:n there& could you <ust hold those t:p nibs over there together@
Right& those t:o. Are#t &th#n4s. -to 8river/ 6oo4s li4e your c#t#lytic
converter9s # bit :orn.
8R=>ER
= don9t :#nt to he#r #bout those pollution control devices. =t9s <ust 7ore
l#:s #nd red t#pe. = don9t 4no: :hy the govern7ent doesn9t st#y out o* 7y
business.
;A55E'AER
5uppose = co7e up there no:@
8R=>ER
'o.
;A55E'AER
5ee i* the c#r :ill st#rt.
8R=>ER
-Tries to st#rt it. %ech#nic yelps #nd <u7ps b#c4./ 'ope.
%ECHA'=C
Hey don9t do th#tF
8R=>ER
Bh#t9s the 7#tter@
%ECHA'=C
Th#t hurtF
8R=>ER
Ao see :h#t he :#nts.
;A55E'AER
%e #g#in@ ?h 7u7ble under 7y bre#th. -to %ech#nic/ Bh#t is it th#t you :#nt@
%ECHA'=C
6et 7e h#ve th#t tool l#ying on top there.
;A55E'AER
=t9s not hot& is it@
%ECHA'=C
'o. -;#ssenger pic4s it up& yelps& #nd drops it./ Though you ought to be
15
c#re*ul o* those sh#rp edges.
;A55E'AER
;ic4ing it up c#re*ully./ Here.
%ECHA'=C
Th#n4s. -He :or4s. ;#ssenger :#tches./ This engine loo4s pretty b#ttered. Bh#t
h#ve you been running it on@
;A55E'AER
Co7petition #nd 7#teri#l sel*0interest.
%ECHA'=C
Th#t :ill do it. 6oo4s li4e you h#ven9t been p#ying #ll th#t 7uch #ttention to
7#inten#nce either.
;A55E'AER
'o& :e believe in l#isseH0*#ire 7ech#nics.
%ECHA'=C
5 Eou 7e#n you9ve h#d French7en :or4ing on your c#r@
;A55E'AER
'o no& l#isseH0*#ire 7e#ns le#ve it #lone. =gnore it. 6e#ve it to itsel*& #nd
the engine :ill run s7oothly& <ust #s n#ture intended.
%ECHA'=C
5till don9t 7#4e sense so7eho:. = never seen #n engine th#t :or4ed by h#ving
#ll the p#rts b#nging #g#inst one #nother li4e th#t.
;A55E'AER
=t :ill see7 li4e co77on sense i* you <ust thin4 #bout it # :hile.
%ECHA'=C
?4& = :ill. -He p#ces #longside the c#r& then he p#ces bet:een the *ront #nd
b#c4 se#ts& :#l4ing through the c#r. ;#ssenger st#res in disbelie*./ Bell& =
thought #bout it. =t still doesn9t see7 li4e co77on sense. =97 going to get
b#c4 to :or4. -He gets under the c#r. ;#ssenger tries to :#l4 through the c#r
#nd c#n9t. He uses the door #nd gets b#c4 in./
8R=>ER
Bh#t #re you doing@
;A55E'AER
=97 pouting.
1.
8R=>ER
Bell& Cuit pouting. There9s #n election co7ing up #nd you c#n vote *or :hoever
coddles you the 7ost. -;#ssenger stops pouting./ Bh#t did he :#nt@
;A55E'AER
Huh@
8R=>ER
= sent you out to see :h#t he :#nts.
;A55E'AER
He :#nts co77on sense.
8R=>ER
Bhy do you s#y th#t@
;A55E'AER
He doesn9t see th#t l#isseH0*#ire is co77on sense.
8R=>ER
Bhy& it9s not even so co7ple+ #s co77on sense& it9s 7ore li4e 7#gic& #s the
invisible h#nd 7oves ste#lthily... :h#t :ere you pouting #bout # 7o7ent #go@
;A55E'AER
Bhy& th#t guy :#l4ing...didn9t you see :h#t h#ppened@
8R=>ER
8id it h#ppen in the *ront se#t@
;A55E'AER
'o.
8R=>ER
= didn9t see it.
;A55E'AER
8on9t you notice the rest o* the :orld@
8R=>ER
'o& = don9t. = thin4 speci#l interests #re given too 7uch #ttention these
d#ys.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t #re you but # speci#l interest@ Th#t pessi7ist 7ight h#ve h#d # point. =
never h#ve re#lly thought the :hole thing through.
17
8R=>ER
= 7ight h#ve to thin4 #bout sh#ring so7e o* this sp#ce up here.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t #7 = s#ying& o* course you 4no: :h#t is best.
8R=>ER
?* course = do. -The c#r t#4es #nother <olt./ Bh#t :#s th#t@
%ECHA'=C
=t9s th#t guy do:n here #g#in. He s#ys you9re re#lly st#rting to r#dic#liHe
hi7 no:.
8R=>ER
The c#r doesn9t run right :hen = h#ve to be responsible *or other people.
%ECHA'=C
-to 7#n under the c#r./ ?h hey 7ister& you c#n let go o* those t:o nibs no:.
Re#lly #ppreci#te it.
8R=>ER
Bell doctor& :h#t9s the prognosis@
%ECHA'=C
-6oo4s #round re#liHes the doctor is hi7./ =97 not # doctor& =97 # 7ech#nic.
8R=>ER
%ech#nic then. Ho:9s the prognosis@
%ECHA'=C
Bell& it :#s bothering 7e pretty good # couple :ee4s #go& but = <ust got #
prescription *or it #nd it #in9t been too b#d. Ee#h& =97 *eeling pretty good
right no:.
8R=>ER
Eippee. Ho:9s the c#r@
%ECHA'=C
Bell& =9ll tell y#& it9s seen better d#ys& getting to:#rd the end o* the line
i* you 4no: :h#t = 7e#n.
;A55E'AER
Th#t9s ridiculous. This c#r h#s provided the 7ost speed #nd the highest
st#nd#rd o* co7*ort the :orld h#s ever 4no:n.
%ECHA'=C
1J
Ee#h& :ell& =9ve :or4ed on # *e: c#rs th#t h#d the 7ost speed or co7*ort or
:h#tever it :#s you s#id. They #ll :ore out #nd bec#7e obsolete eventu#lly.
;A55E'AER
This one :on9t. =t :#s 7#de by Aod #nd :ill l#st *orever.
%ECHA'=C
Bell& =9ll tell y#& Aod doesn9t build c#rs& #nd #s *or *orever& don9t you
thin4 th#t 7ight be :ish*ul thin4ing@
8R=>ER
8on9t underesti7#te :ish*ul thin4ing. ;residents h#ve been elected upon it.
%ECHA'=C
%#ybe you c#n elect # president out o* :ish*ul thin4ing but you c#n9t build #
c#r out o* it. 'o: = p#tched it b#c4 together& but so7eti7e you9re going to
h#ve to <un4 it& or else get such # dr#stic overh#ul it :on9t re#lly be the
s#7e c#r. =* you don9t& you better *ind so7ebody to push this c#r o* yours&
c#use it :on9t run. -He puts his tools #:#y./
8R=>ER
Ho: #re your legs@ And your b#c4@
;A55E'AER
= hope you9re <o4ing.
8R=>ER
Th#t9s <ust :ish*ul thin4ing on your p#rt.
;A55E'AER
C#n = co7e up *ront no:@
8R=>ER
'o. -Another <olt./ Bh#t :#s th#t@ Those <olts 4eep getting :orse.
%ECHA'=C
-6oo4ing under the c#r./ This guy9s still under here.
;A55E'AER
Bhen c#n = co7e up *ront then@
%ECHA'=C
And he9s still stuc4.
;A55E'AER
Bhen *or crying out loud@
19
%ECHA'=C
He s#ys he9s getting tired o* this.
;A55E'AER
Eou c#n9t st#y in the driver9s se#t *orever. = ought to h#ve # ch#nceF =t9s 7y
turnF
%ECHA'=C
He s#ys he9s tired o* l#ying in the gre#se #nd gri7e #nd grit.
;A55E'AER
Bhy do = h#ve to h#ve things so rough@F
8R=>ER
-to %ech#nic/ Eou don9t h#ve to be p#id i77edi#tely& do you@
%ECHA'=C
?h no& =97 4eeping tr#c4 o* #ll rep#irs.
8R=>ER
Aood.
%ECHA'=C
8on9t :orry& you9ll p#y in *ull *or e#ch p#tch up <ob on this old be#ter.
8R=>ER
= don9t h#ve to p#y 7ysel*& do =@
%ECHA'=C
Bho else@
8R=>ER
Bhy the govern7ent o* course. = c#n9t be e+pected to t#4e c#re o* 7y o:n
debts.
%ECHA'=C
= thought you :#nted govern7ent to st#y out o* your business.
8R=>ER
Th#t9s only :hen =97 7#4ing 7oney.
%ECHA'=C
-#side/ = bet his *#vorite c#r is # Chrysler. -e+its/
8R=>ER
!K
He *orgot to close the hood. Ao close it.
;A55E'AER
'o. =9ve h#d it. =97 not your l#c4ey #ny7ore. Eou c#n get out #nd close it
yoursel*.
8R=>ER
=t <ust 7ight be ti7e to let you di7 the he#dlights.
;A55E'AER
-Closes the hood/ C#n = 7ove up no:@
8R=>ER
=t9s not s#*e no:.
;A55E'AER
Bh#t9s the proble7@
8R=>ER
Bh#t9s the proble7@ =9ll tell you :h#t the proble7 is. = c#n9t drive this c#r
the :#y = :#nt to #ny7ore. First it9s pollution controls& then it9s street
signs. Then it9s 7ore l#:s& ordin#nces& regul#tions& bure#ucr#cy& #nd
restrictions piled up on e#ch other. They9re telling 7e ho: *#st = c#n go&
:h#t p#rt o* the ro#d = c#n drive on& no: = h#ve to st#rt :#tching out *or
pedestri#ns. =t9s # sh#7e i* people #re getting run over but i* they c#n9t
co7pete it9s not 7y *#ult. This c#r doesn9t run s7oothly #nd e**iciently i* =
c#n9t drive #ny :#y = ple#se. Everything is e#sier :hen you don9t h#ve to be
responsible. -Engine noises #nd bl#c4out./
!1