The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
rench fries were not invented in rance.
!e sometimes ta"e English for granted
#ut if we e$amine its parado$es we find that
%uic"sand ta"es you down slowly
#o$ing rings are s&uare
And a guinea pig is neither from 'uinea nor is it a pig.
(f writers write) how come fingers don't fing.
(f the plural of tooth is teeth
*houldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
(f the teacher taught)
!hy didn't the preacher praught.
(f a vegetarian eats vegetables
!hat the hec" does a humanitarian eat+?
!hy do people recite at a play
,et play at a recital?
-ar" on driveways and
.rive on par"ways
,ou have to marvel at the uni&ue lunacy
/f a language where a house can burn up as
(t burns down
And in which you fill in a form
#y filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes+
English was invented by people) not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
0!hich of course isn't a race at all1
That is why
!hen the stars are out they are visible
#ut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when ( wind up my watch
(t starts
#ut when ( wind up this observation)
(t ends.