Grade Nine Experience

The day started out slowly; math crawling by with a flurry of algebraic equations,
science class dividing itself and multiplying like cells performing mitosis. I miraculously
managed to get myself through those, although time didnt seem to be on my side.
Walking into the hallways was like entering a war zone, chaos surrounding me and
encouraging the rhythmic pulsing of the dull throb in my temples. As if this wasnt
enough, I heard the steadfast approach of a group of people that I had been attempting
to avoid all year. Ever since the first day of school, Ive known that I wouldnt have any
luck with them. Im sure that almost every school has one: the group of people who have
worked themselves to the top of the social food chain more by a survival-of-the-fittest
technique than actually getting people to like them. Sometimes I wonder if they even
enjoy each others company, but I wouldnt dare approach them, let alone ask them a
question that could possibly place me on their radar. They all walk with their heads held
high and their chests puffed. Their general demeanors directly reflect upon their inflated
egos, much to my discontent. With a sigh of resignation, I resist the urge to quicken my
pace and attempt to escape the imminent future. So much for a slow day.

Phillip, Dominic, Victor, Angela and Rebecca approach with their usual
obnoxiousness, and I tense; probably quite visibly - because they noticed and Ive
earned myself a remark.
What are you so scared of, kid? Dominic says tauntingly.
I meekly attempt to ignore his comment with a facade of confidence, but I doubt it
worked, because they continue to direct their undivided attention onto me.
What, are you deaf? I hear Phillip say, almost right next to me now.
Dont you have a class to get to? I retort. I immediately regret opening my
mouth, because now I am definitely a person of interest.
They all continue past me with sneering faces, and walk right out of the doors to the
school.

For the next class, I think about the interaction. Why did I have to do what I did? If I had
only gotten on their good side Ive seen it happen before - kids of particularly poor
social standing do something right to earn their approval, and suddenly theyre on some
unwritten A-list that is virtually unattainable to me now.

It doesnt take long for me to pay for the comment. Classes are safe, but in the
hallways, Im unprotected. I feel their collective gaze burn holes in my body and my
mind, irrational insecurities taking the place of flesh and bone. Their comments sting with
the persistence of a papercut, on the best of days. Lunch has become a passing of time
where Im playing a game that no one bothered to explain the rules to, against a stacked
team thats been playing for years. So far, they have a win-streak. Today, for some
unknown reason, they decided to be particularly harsh. They approached, greeting me
with vulgarities that you could really only attribute to a highschool student. I couldnt help
but notice that one person from the groupVictorhung behind. Maybe he wasnt in
the mood to torment me today.

Sparing the semantics of the verbal attack I had just endured, I get up and begin
to leave the cafeteria. I dont know where Im headedmy next class doesnt begin for
another twenty minutes. Soon, though, my thoughts are interrupted by a tap on my
shoulder. Startled, I jump, and whip my body around to face the person who had just
called for my attention. I must react quite disdainfully when my eyes meet Victors,
because he winces at me like he would a wounded animal. My thoughts race, and I start
to worry. Maybe this is why he hung back beforehe was waiting his turn. I realize with
unease that were currently in an extremely isolated region of the school; its the only
place that is left unmonitored by video surveillance.

Look, this isnt what you think, he starts.
What do you want? Are you going to beat me up? I say, defensively. I silently
berate myself for the obvious panic in my voice.
No. Just hear me out for a second.
He sounds genuine, and I realize that I was backing away from him like he was a bear
or some other large animal, so I stop. He seems to take this as an invitation,
despite the rest of my stance remaining wary.
Okay.. He takes a breath, seemingly readying himself. I really want to say
sorry. For well, everything.
He takes a brief pause, surveying my reaction and determining what to say next. When I
dont say anything, he continues.
I know that the way my friendsif I can even call them thathave been treating
you is awful. Ive been trying to get them to stop for months, but they just wont listen.
His facade of bitter carelessness shatters with his frantic admission. Still, I have a hard
time believing him.
Is this a joke? I spit out, before I can stop myself.
He shrinks at the comment, and remains silent. His silence fuels my anger.
Is someone paying you to do this? Or do you just think its fun to play with me
like this? Ever since day one, you and your friends have persecuted me for no reason
other than being younger than you.
He looks at me, his stark expression intimidating.
I recognize that what has been going on is wrong, and I take full responsibility
both for my part in it and my lack of efforts to stop it. I dont expect you to forgive me, but
I want you to know that if you ever need a hand, Ill be more than willing to help you out.
With that, he turns around and briskly walks away, towards his next class. I watch,
astonished by the encounter I just had with Victor. This was the last thing that I expected
from him. Thinking about it, I recognize that that wasnt the first time Victor had hung
back from the group when they decided to lash out on me. This revelation was quite
surprising, and for the first time, I believed that maybe I really had someone on my side.
I wasnt about to go hang out with Victor after school, but it was extremely comforting to
know that maybe things could change.

For the next little while, nothing changes, other than Victors disassociation with
the group, and I begin to lose hope. I had been standing up for myself more often, but
this only ever resulted in worse treatment from the groupthe relentless name-calling
and personal attacks on me becoming even more cutting than they were before, now
that I had acquired a sliver of hope.

After a while, though, I notice small changes. I can walk by them in the hall without being
bombarded by disparaging comments. Soon enough, the torment stops altogether. I
become able to walk down the hallways with my head up, and I dont have to worry
about hiding anymore. My grades return to normal, and Im no longer getting grounded
for failed tests and Fs on my report card. Every aspect of my life changed, and I now
recognize that Victor had been behind that. Although Victor caused a lot of stress and
discontempt, I appreciate that he helped me.