Emotional Bank Account

Segment 9

Building Your Emotional Bank

Account with Others
In the same way that your relationship with yourself is
represented by the Personal Bank Account (PBA), your
relationship with others is represented by the Emotional
Bank Account (EBA).
The EBA is a metaphor for the amount of trust that exists
in a relationship.
Deposits build and repair trust in relationships.
Withdrawals break down and lessen trust in relationships.

Making Deposits/ Withdrawals

Think of a friend you see daily. For each of the following
situations, decide if your friends actions are:
A deposit to your EBA (added trust)

Neutral (does not affect your EBA)

A withdrawal to your EBA (hurts trust)

Scenario # 1
Tagged you in a photo on Facebook.

A deposit to your EBA (added trust)

Neutral (does not affect your EBA)
A withdrawal to your EBA (hurts trust)

Scenario # 2
Found mistakes on an essay you already turned in and
pointed out what you did wrong.

A deposit to your EBA (added trust)

Neutral (does not affect your EBA)

A withdrawal to your EBA (hurts trust)

Scenario # 3
Sent you a text to wish you a happy birthday.

A deposit to your EBA (added trust)

Neutral (does not affect your EBA)
A withdrawal to your EBA (hurts trust)

Scenario # 4
Canceled your weekend plans because he/ she is not
feeling well.

A deposit to your EBA (added trust)

Neutral (does not affect your EBA)

A withdrawal to your EBA (hurts trust)

Low Trust

High Trust

WITHDRAWALS

DEPOSITS

Assume you
understand.

Seek first to
understand.

Show unkindness,
discourtesy, and
disrespect.

Show kindness,
courtesy, and respect.

Break promises.
Be disloyal; bad-mouth.
Create unclear
expectations.
Be proud and arrogant.
Hold grudges.

Keep promises.
Be loyal to the absent.
Set clear expectations.
Apologize.
Forgive.

EBA Reflection
(1) Identify an important relationship that is not as good
as you want it to be. What is the EBA balance with this
person (on a scale of -10 to +10)? Mark the graph below.

(2) Describe three things you think the person you identified would
consider deposits.

(3) Describe 3 things you think the person you identified would
consider withdrawals.

(4) BABY STEP: Commit to making a deposit to this persons

Emotional Bank Account.
What deposit will you make?
When will you make it?
Where will you make it?
How will you make it?

For a Strong EBA:

Know the persons currency. (Get to know the people
you care about. What do they consider a deposit? What
do they consider a withdrawal? How are they similar/
different from you and each other?)
Be sincere and consistent.
Make small deposits over time.
Remember that close relationships require more
deposits.
Try not to make withdrawals. (A withdrawal hits the EBA
harder than a deposit does. It may take many deposits
to make up for one withdrawal.)

Segment 10
I Am From Poem

Baby Steps
Check-in with your Accountabilibuddy and share your progress
with the Baby Step you selected last class.

I Am From