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23 Scientific Keys To Changing Your Life
23 Scientific Keys To Changing Your Life
23 SCIENTIFIC KEYS
to
CHANGING
Any
BEHAVIOR
A Fierce Gentleman eBook
INTRODUCTION
Changing your life is hard.
Luckily, there are scientifically proven ways to do it that gives you the best chance of
success.
Anyone who is trying to change their own behavior without understanding this science needs to
stop, now. First, read up on the science. Learn to do it the more effective way. Then, start again,
with better strategies, and create the life you've always wanted.
Youve taken a really important first step by downloading this book: it contains the shortcut
version of the science culled from many of the top bestsellers of the day plus, summaries of
cutting-edge research that is not published in books yet.
Ive put this together as an aid to help as many people as I possibly can to achieve their dreams
and live the lives theyve always wanted to live.
Here's the other thing you should know: behavior change is hard. Hard like algebra. You will
work on it for "a while" before you get to that dream-life. What is "a while"? In most cases, years.
But that's okay. The secret of self-development is that everybody has to work hard and put in a lot
of work if they want to achieve something great.
Dont let it scare you off. Let it strengthen your resolve.
At FierceGentleman.com we believe that every man is destined for greatness.
(Every woman, too.)
So, below we give you the keys to greatness: 23 scientific keys you need to change anything in
your life.
Of course, information alone does not lead to life change. (That's one of the keys.)
But never before has so much high-quality, scientifically-validated information been available for
free, to anyone, to get their path started.
So lets get YOUR path started.
Duhigg.) Recognize how many of your behaviors are habitual. Realize that you can change
these habits, and you can put a better life on autopilot (with some work.)
ACTION STEP: Write a list of all the healthy habits youd like to have. Flossing your
teeth, running, juicing, socializing?
KEY 12. Start with tiny habits.
I call this a "wedge" that we can drive into your life to get leverage for further
improvement. The smaller the initial change, the higher the likelihood of success. My
favorite example: switch from drinking coffee to drinking tea in the morning. Youll get
a gentler boost of caffeine, and cancer-fighting benefits as well. (See The Power of
Habit by Charles Duhigg.)
ACTION STEP: Choose the smallest possible change you can make in your life today
such as flossing just one tooth. Do it. Then plan to do it again tomorrow.
KEY 13. The habit process comprises a Cue, a Routine, and Reward.
To add a new healthy habit to your life, use a pre-existing Cue to trigger a new Routine,
and be sure to Reward yourself with something. But make the Reward match the size of
the habit. If you floss one tooth, maybe reward yourself with a simple pat on the back. If
you write a novel, reward yourself with a trip to Tahiti. (The Power of Habit by Charles
Duhigg.)
ACTION STEP: Define in writing the Cue you will use to trigger the new tiny habit
(Routine) as well as the actual Reward you will give yourself once you do it. (Make sure
the Reward is something you actually care about and want to experience!)
KEY 14. Realistic self-knowledge is what wins.
Thinking carefully about how, when and why you will fail in your efforts at behavior
change give you an edge. People who are radically optimistic about everything tend to
underestimate their failure patternsand then they fail. (8)
ACTION STEP: Rather than saying, "I WILL accomplish this!" Ask yourself, "Will I?"
KEY 15. Optimism is dangerous. Uncertainty actually leads to better outcomes.
In The Willpower Instinct, Dr. Kelly McGonigal covers this: smokers who are the most
optimistic about their ability to resist temptation are the most likely to relapse four
months later, and overoptimistic dieters are the least likely to lose weight. The tempted
self is an unpredictable and unreliable enemy. . . we need to take steps to predict and
constrain that self as if it were another person. (Behavioral economist George
Ainslie, quoted in The Willpower Instinct, p 167).
ACTION STEP: What constraints can you put on your Tempted Future Self? Write
down 5 ideas and act on 1 of them.
KEY 16. Breathing is key.
Breathing more fully and more slowly builds willpower while reducing craving and
depression. (The Willpower Instinct.)
ACTION STEP: Try breath pacing. Sit down and breath for 5 minutes, trying to reach 45 breaths per minute.
KEY 17. Sleep is key to health, longevity, and willpower.
Most people run a constant sleep debt. Adequate sleep builds willpower and reduces
stress hormones (among many, many other benefits). (9)
ACTION STEP: Say No to whatever will keep you from going to bed at a reasonable
hour tonight. Aim to get exactly 8 hours of sleep. Turn off all digital screens 30 minutes
before bed.
KEY 18. Relaxation is key.
The colloquial sense of relaxation is "pop a beer and turn on the TV." Wrong. Both of
these things are toxic to willpower and behavior change. Actual relaxation involves lying
flat on the floor and progressively tensing and relaxing all the major muscle groups for
not less than 10 minutes. Try it. You'll see. (The Willpower Instinct.)
ACTION STEP: Lie flat on you floor (or on your bed) and relax all major muscle groups
for at least 10 minutes.
KEY 19. Rewarding yourself disproportionally to you results can set you back.
We habitually use good behavior as a 'moral license' to indulge in even more 'bad
behavior.' This is the reason many people gain weight on diets. (The Willpower Instinct.)
But wait, didnt I just say reward yourself when building a new habit? Yes, but not too
much. Thats why we match the Reward to the size of the habit.
ACTION STEP: Look at the Rewards you have in your life, and look dispassionately at
your Results. Are you actually achieving up to the level of your Rewards, or are you over
(or under) rewarding?
KEY 20. Forgiveness, not guilt.
Being self-critical makes behavior change harder. Self-forgiveness increases
accountability. (The Willpower Instinct.)
ACTION STEP: If youve been too hard on yourself, let it go. Say I forgive myself and
move on.
KEY 21. Immediate gratification is toxic.
Whenever you experience an urge for....anything, wait 10 minutes. See if you still have
the urge. Most of the time, you won't. (The Willpower Instinct.)
ACTION STEP: Next time you find yourself saying, Oh, I should check Facebook! set a
timer for 10 minutes. The urge will pass.
KEY 2. Don't believe everything you think or feel.
Feelings aren't facts. Your thoughts aren't necessarily true. (This applies to everyone else,
too.) Be an observer of your experience, without having to act on every little impulse.
ACTION STEP: Practice observing your thoughts in meditation. Practice labeling each
thought as useful or not useful.
KEY 23. Finally, The Most Powerful Secret To Behavior Change: Paying Attention.
Training your attention and self-awareness pays the best dividends...and it's free. The
faculty of voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again, is the
very root of judgment, character, and will An education which should improve this
faculty would be the education par excellence. William James.
ACTION STEP: What education is William James, father of modern psychology, talking
about? The education of attention. And what educates attention by bringing a wandering
attention back, over and over again, forming the root of judgment, character, and
will.? Meditation. It all comes back to meditation.
FEELING STUCK?
You may be thinking, Ive tried SO many things, and maybe it worked for a day or two and then
it stopped working.
Or maybe you feel like Why even tryIve failed before at other attempts to change. Why
doesnt it work? Am I doing something wrong?
If this is you, I can help.
In my 10 years of coaching Ive helped many people overcome their obstacles and get on the
straight and narrow path to the life of their dreams.
Even the self-identified hard-cases who had tried everything under the sun: books, lectures,
videos, audiotapes, self-hypnosis, tapping, EFT
If youre feeling ready to make massive forward progress, then I want that for you.
I cant guarantee Im the right Coach for you or even that Coaching is the right thing for you,
right now.
But, I do know you deserve the best possible life you can imagine for yourself.
And if you dont currently have that, then I want that for you.
So heres what Im offering to everyone whos read this far in the book (if thats you,
congratulations!)
Contact me using this link and grab a spot on my calendar for a powerful 1-hour Coaching
conversation.
Its 100% free & confidential, as my way of saying Thank you for joining my list.
Click here to see if I have any spots open.
The best one-hour Coaching session Ive ever received. Daleen P.
I look forward to speaking with you.
SOURCES
I've read tons of books and research articles on the subject of willpower, habit formation,
interpersonal neurobiology, and cognitive science, and I've been involved on the ground-level of
helping other people change their patterns, habits, and lives for over 10 years.
So although the majority of the above assertions are backed by solid science, a few of them are
from my own experience with over 500 individuals and their life-change journeys.
If you're interested in further reading, see the excellent books, articles and presentations below.
1. Paper The Physiology of Willpower: Linking Blood Glucose to Self Control; see also
studies by Baba Shiv at Stanford
The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr
6. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John Ratey
8. Ahluwalia & Burnkrant, 2004; Burnkrat & Howards, 1984; Hotgraves & Yang, 1990;
Sheldon et all 2003.