Erica Wixon

English 111
Lucia Elden
11 November 2014
Learning as a Parent and a Student
As a parent and adult learner, I know that I view school very differently now than I did
almost 10 years ago when I graduated high school. Fresh out of high school I started the
enrollment process because that is what I first thought I should do. Everyone around me was
either already in the college courses they had started in high school or were getting ready to
move away to college in the fall. However, I never finished enrolling and didnt go to college
until eight years later. I didnt have the drive or a good enough reason to go to college right out
of high school. Part of the reason was my frame of reference from high school and the other
was, I believe, laziness. College seemed really hard and after talking with a guidance counselor
earlier in the year, I thought it was clear that I was doomed to a community college at best
because my GPA wasnt good enough for anywhere else. However, looking back at my
graduating GPA and what my friends and family were trying to telling me, I would have had a
good chance of being accepted to the colleges I had before thought out of reach. My GPA was
actually really good, not a barely two something the guidance counselor had told me. Also, now
that I am here, in a community college and experiencing it a little later in life than first planned, I
can tell you starting in a community college was the best decision for me. I thought I was
doomed for it, which was pretty harsh thinking of something I knew nothing about. However, I
am here and for great reasons. I wanted to gain independence in my thinking and beliefs. My
children are a great motivation for me. When they see me reading or doing homework, they sit
at the table and read and do homework also. I also notice that I try to be more optimistic about
tough assignments when they are around because I dont want them to get into the habit of

complaining about work and giving up when its difficult. Coming into college as a parent, I
believe, is what is making me a better student.
A person decides to further their education because they want to think for themselves and
form their own ideas and beliefs. Jack Mezirow, a professor at Columbia University, says it
best: Adult learners view learning to think as autonomous, responsible persons as an important
educational objective (271). Being an autonomous, or independent, thinker is essential to being
a parent as well as a student. A parent who is an autonomous thinker has the ability to shape
their own ideas and beliefs. That is a very powerful thing for a parent. The parents are the ones
who dictate the rules and roles in their families at the beginning. Being an independent thinker,
they are able to research and decide what is right for their family. Autonomous thinkers break
out of the mold of this is how one should think because that is how their parents
thought. Autonomous thinkers who critically reflect on their past frames of reference are
constantly learning and growing. Jack Mezirow goes on further about the reason parents become
students again. Their goal is to become autonomous, responsible thinker(s) (271). Parents are
already responsible. They are responsible for their families and their wellbeing. Wanting to be
an independent, responsible thinker is what parenting is all about. By asking questions before
reacting to situations, unlike they had before, will improve their parenting but can also improve
their learning as well. While attending college, a parent as a student will have difficulties and
struggles. Before the student was a parent they only had to worry about themselves. Now that
the student is a parent, the student seeks help with assignments they are struggling with, instead
of just pushing it aside and not trying to figure it out. Parents want to set the best examples for
their children as they can, making how well they do in college and how well they handle it even
more important to them.

Anyone who is attending college or has attended college will exclaim: a persons college
journey can be quite an amazing experience, riddled with struggles, changes, failures and
triumphs. How a person was taught and their learning style before college will set their
experience apart from others. That statement is true for all students; especially for students who
are also parents. One struggle a college student who is also a parent faces is not being able to
always focus fully on the task at hand. Their minds will sometimes trail off to their
children. According to Catherine Marienau, PhD, Even after children leave home and become
adults, they often are still fully present in a parents psyche (Marienau 3). This can be seen as a
problem for a parent who is also a student. However, Boud, Keogh & Walker would argue that
it does not have to be a problem. It can be viewed as a learning experience instead. When a
parent learner reflects on their experience, they can change their behavior, or commit to
different action (Boud, Keogh, & Walker). A parent learner who reflects on the events
throughout their day can make changes where changes are needed and work towards enacting
different actions. By doing this occasional or daily reflection, the parent learner could learn a
better way of handling certain argument situations. I dont mean arguing in a negative
sense. Its meant more in a normal everyday struggle, argument. Perhaps the child doesnt want
to complete an assignment because they do not find it interesting. Before the parent might have
instantly went straight to bribing or bartering with the child to complete the
assignment. However, after reflecting on an event similar in nature that happened earlier in
class, the parent could have observed a better tactic to use. Instead of bartering with the child to
do the assignment, the parent could calmly explain why it is important and work through it
together.

When a college student who is also a parent needs guidance on an issue, they often turn
to other parents in the same situation. When a child is falling behind in school, the parent can go
to the teacher and the school, however most times they choose to go to someone who is or has
been in the same situation. The helping parent reflects on how they handled the situation in
order to help the other parent with their questions and concerns. Both parents may not even
realize, but they are helping each other to transform their frames of reference. Something that
parents need to know is that classroom learning isnt always enough. For a college student who
is a parent that is valuable knowledge to have. A parent who is a college student has to open
their mind up to continue to learn from their experiences. Paulo Freire, who was an educator and
philosopher in the twentieth-century, believes Knowledge emerges only through invention and
re-invention, through the restless, impatient, continuing, hopeful inquiry human beings pursue in
the world, with the world, and with each other (Freire 1). Freire mentions invention and reinvention as a way of saying students must discover and re-discover ways of learning to keep
growing in education. In order to gain knowledge, students and parents must discover and
rediscover their ideas and beliefs by not stopping; but actively and zealously questioning
everything in their current reality, with the people close to them and with others that may not go
about things the same way as they do.
A person, a parent or a college student cannot get by on the hope to learn and become
knowledgeable. They must work towards their futures by critically reflecting on their current
frames of reference so they can grow and so can the people they influence throughout their lives,
like their children. Learning is not something that stops happening as a person ages. It is
something that progresses with life. Through persistence the lifetime student continues to
reinvent themselves and their thinking.

Works Cited
Freire, Paulo. Chapter 2. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Penguin, 1993. Continuum
Books. October 28, 2014. Web.
Mezirow, Jack. Transformative Learning: From Theory to Practice. Exploring Relationships:
Globalizing and Learning in the 21st Century. Boston, MA: Pearson, 2013. 272. Print.
Marienau, Catherine. Parents as Developing Adult Learners. Child Welfare. Washington,
USA: Child Welfare League of America Inc., 2006. November 2, 2014. Web.