MEMORANDUM

To:
From:
Date:
Subject:

Professor Aaron Schab

Cody Willmore
September 14, 2014
Writing to Achieve a Readable Prose Style

The following memo discusses the results from analyzing past writing to conclude how clear my
prose style is. I have analyzed two prior research documents, and provided examples to explain
both problem and solution. The sections below cover being concise, clear, precise, stressing
emphasis, and jargon.
Being Concise
When analyzing how concise my writing was, I found zero to five errors in each paragraph. I
frequently insert unnecessary words impairing readability of many sentences. Here is one
example from a previous research paper on Waters of China; I have highlighted unnecessary
text, and the parenthesis replaced it.
The purpose of anaerobic conditions (Anaerobic conditions) is the (allow) bacteria that
(to) grow within the (an) ecosystem have evolved (to evolve) to (and) break down
(degrade) chemicals that contain halogens, and utilize the energy from breaking those
bonds to develop and thrive (for development), thus essentially degrading (reducing)
toxic compounds within the waterways.
By removing text, the sentence is allows the reader to clearly understand the point instead of
misinterpretation.
Being Clear
The interaction of subject and verb can muddle the concept when nominalizations and active
voice are inadvertently used. I frequently illustrate that confusion when writing opinionated
articles. The following example is an edit of Twins.
In the end (conclusion), this article is perfect for establishing connection with (invokes)
the reader so they can be enveloped under (to establish) the idea that technology is
capable of helping solve some of the greatest mysteries of (can aid in understanding) the
human genetics, and to assist in captivating future readers in the possibility of (to)
pursuing (peruse) a career in genetics with the simplistic yet scientific writing.
I intended the reader to conclude the significance of reading articles designed to stimulate
interest in genetics careers. The original text is confusing due to verb and subject confliction and
unclear words leaving the reader unsure of the concept. By reorganizing and removing text,
understanding the concept follows.
Being Precise

The issue of precision arises when informing others about issues that encompass multiple topics.
I commonly struggle to express one thought, on a subject with multiple issues. The following
example is an edit from Waters of China.
The Huangpu River has always been abundant and reliable to support pressures and
impacts dealt unto the area from human implications, and this idea has fueled the lack of
concern for possible deterioration of resilience the river ecosystem might evolve into,
thus asking the question, is the use of the water being managed and utilized in a
sustainable manner.
Each highlighted word is unclear at explaining the problem. In the first sentence pressures I do
not clarify what type of pressure is there, and how that affects the river.
Stress Emphasis
It is significant to stress emphasis on the end of a sentence to allow the reader to understand the
concept easier. My research conclusions generally retain more information irrelevant to my main
point, resulting in confusion. The following example is an edit from Waters of China.
Another issue that can arise is the public interest in investing in swamps, where they can
sometimes be astatically unappealing, or the possibility of increasing foul smells as
derived from the microbes of the swamp.
This sentence conveys the conclusion if it were written as:
The last issue of concern is public interest, where values differ per individual, and
ascetic concern would fluctuate due to gases discharged from the wetlands
The original conclusion conjoins too many issues, and provides little explanation. The revised
conclusion clarifies the issue, and stresses the point, while supporting the reasoning.
Jargon
The language used in writing is significant to appeal to target readers, where if the jargon is
complex then the reader becomes confused. My target readers are collegiate individuals focused
in sciences, but after college, I must consider individuals with limited scientific backgrounds.
The following example is an edit from Twins.
One such example is the Berkey Water Filtration system, which is a filtration system
that utilizes, pours membranes that block the ability of biological growth from passing
through, as well produces ionic charges that capture chemical compounds from the
water.
The highlighted text targets readers with a science background. If a reader has no science
background, they might be confused by what it means. If this jargon is not explained,
understanding the concept shall be difficult.
Conclusion

After analyzing my previous work, I now understand my prose style differently and learned
where improvements are welcomed. The focus of my development is being concise and precise,
and articulating my point without confusing the reader. I will continue to develop my prose
writing.