Looking back at the challenges in my life, there hasnt been one singular incident that has

dramatically changed me, but rather entire series of incidents. The series that jumps out the most
is the one that made up the majority of my freshman year of high school. That was probably the
hardest year of my life so far, but strangely, it is also one that Im deeply thankful for.
It wasnt just my first year of high school, it was also my first year in a new school
district. I only knew one person and though she knew everyone else, I was scared to talk to them.
It was nothing I wasnt used to, coming from a background of moving schools about every three
years, but for some reason it bothered me this time. I was fourteen and obviously felt a bit
socially awkward. It was October before I really began to overcome my social anxiety and talk to
a few people enough for us to consider each other friends. When November came, things were
looking up at least until that day.
At about 3:30 AM, his family was asleep. They woke up to the sound of a single gunshot
followed by his body hitting the floor. Maybe he didnt know how important he was to us, or
how sorry I was for the argument we got into the last time I saw him. Maybe it was an accident.
The police took a seemingly extended amount of time to determine which one it was. Whatever
the reason, none of us saw it coming. I skipped school. I refused to do homework assignments. I
ignored most of people I had just barely begun to call my friends. If I was struggling before, now
I was drowning. I couldnt keep up with half of my courses, and found myself unable to focus on
the ones I could. My mind was preoccupied with his blue eyes, or rather the fact that they were
rotting in the ground somewhere. His smile the right side a little tauter than the left followed
by the disturbing image of his decaying face filled my dreams for months.
When they thought I was over it though I wasnt my parents dropped the news that
my dad was moving to California for his work. We wouldnt be going with him. I had to make it
seem like I was fine with that fact that we couldnt hang out on a Saturday afternoon and play
volleyball or talk about life over a bowl of ice cream anymore. As misfortunes stacked up in my
life, assignments stacked up as well. My classes got harder, my new friends got sick of being
ignored for reasons I wouldnt tell them, and I was alone. My level of motivation decreased, with
my grade point average following closely behind.
I felt sorry for myself for an embarrassing amount of time before realizing that I was
letting these irreversible things get to me while ignoring opportunities to change the things I
could. The rest of the world wasnt waiting for me, and I needed to catch up. I wish I could say

that things just fell into place after this little revelation, but they didnt. Almost every day, I
stayed after school for tutoring as long as the teachers would let me sometimes until 4:30,
sometimes 6:30 until I understood everything I had missed. In the end, I passed with mostly
Bs, maybe an A or C here and there, but my GPA was still feeling the pain of being ignored for
so long. I realized those months of grief and self-pity werent something that could just be erased
by a little extra work, but that I would have to try to make up for them for the rest of my high
school career. Its been difficult to make up for those grades without the strong foundation I was
supposed to be building at that time, and its been even harder with the course load Ive taken in
order to graduate on the distinguished plan from high school along with getting an Associates
Degree and being core complete through UT Tyler. Even so, I havent stopped trying. This year,
Ive gotten As in every single one of my core classes, and I dont intend to let those grades slip
one bit.
Though it may sound clich, I fully mean it when I say the person applying for admission
into the University of Texas this year is completely different from the one who timidly sat in the
back of the classroom feeling sorry for herself freshman year. I am significantly more motivated,
intelligent, social, confident, accepting, and - mentally and emotionally - stronger than I ever
believed I could be four years ago. This is why, though it was hell at the time, I am thankful for
that year not because of the things that happened, but because of the way they affected me in
the long run. The whole experience made me learn two things: 1. if you dont keep moving
forward, youll be left behind, and 2. in moving forward, you cant forget about those who
arent. I will always try to help those people along even if they need to be dragged
occasionally.