Eddie Park

The house is alive. Its heart beats from the basement; a stereo system poised at the bottom of the
steps. A generic party-mix of songs fills the home as the bass hits heavy and constant through the first
floors support beams. From the outside of my friends two story suburban home all is quiet, not a hairs
out of place. Sams parents went to Florida for the week, early December is when we found out that they
were leaving and early December is when the planning started. I was in college, Sam was in Highschool,
it was Sams party so the invites were left to him. By the end of the first week the entire school knew,
people he didnt even know would approach him about it. There was a point when Sam knew the
number of people was getting too high but the excitement kept him inviting people and word continued
to spread
Its 7:30 PM and everythings ready, the 5 of us in the inner friend group came early to drunk
proof and prep the house while Sam made the alcohol run. Next week is New Years but the party begins
now. Sams fridge is packed to capacity with 12 cases of beer and a plethora of liquor, all the condiments
have been hidden in miscellaneous drawers and cupboards, and the island in the middle of the kitchen
has been cleared and covered with red solo cups. Beer, liquor, music, and pong; add people and youve
got a party.
Over my friendship with Sam his house became a second home. Almost every day in highschool
this is where wed end up when the day let out Big groups of us would take the bus, walk down the hill,
and infest Sams house until it was time to return to our own. When I met Sam I had no friends, I was an
overly anxious introverted sophomore but Sam and his friends (now mine) took me in and accepted that.
This created a bubble of the select few I could feel truly comfortable around, his home became a safe
haven to be myself - but tonight this safehaven was about to be over run.
Lets smoke before people start getting here one of the six of us says, its the only chance
well get without mouchers. So we get high in Sams room and then people start showing up one by
one, two by two, three by three. The earliest to arrive are kids we all know, mutual friends, then people
Ive never met start meshing in. The music emanating from the basement is covered with the roar of
teenagers ages 16 to 19 cracking beers and tossing ping pong balls. Its 8:30 and the counts at 50, I step
outside for a breather. The back porch is surprisingly quiet compared to the jungle inside. Im not the
party type and beer the tastes like piss so the cool and quiet december air is a nice change of pace. I light
a cigarette to give myself a reason to be outside incase anyone comes and questions my solidarity, like I
even need an excuse but I dont feel at home here and I dont want to come off weird. The cigarettes
gone quick, the nicotine buzz quickens my heart rate but ironically calms me down, I crush it into the
already half full ashtray and make my way around to the front of the house.
There are no cars out front and this is increasingly surprising as more and more people walk up
the street towards Sams house. Sams out front, staring back at the front door, I walk up along side him
and ask what hes doing. He looks at me then back at the house and says The musics all the way up,
people are shouting, but it is silent out here. Sam was right and it was weird to say the least, hed
counted the number of people to be at about 80 now. Just as we were going to go back inside a short,
black haired girl walks up to us. I dont know the girl and assume shes going to say hello to Sam but
instead she questions us both Is this where the party is?. Sam and I look to each other, then back, she
gets her information and goes in. Turned out sam had no idea who he just directed into his house but he
didnt mind, he was just ready for this to go down as the 2013 banger of the year.
Inside is crazy, the music is shaking the floor and so are all the typsy kids whove massed in the
kitchen and living room. Sam and I find the rest of the 6 person host team and take celebratory shots,

its 9 o clock. After the shots the group disperses to mingle, I tag along with my friend X. X starts
talking to old wrestling buddies and almost instantly Im out of the loop again. I never did sports in
highschool, I never joined any clubs, I stuck with my small friend group and shied away from any other
social aspects, I never cared enough. I find myself moving through the people catching glimpses of
conversations I should be having, I walk aimlessly in circles interacting with friends for seconds before
they return to their own talks. Ive been playing the loner game for the past four years so it comes easy
to occupy myself by looking occupied, I keep a smile on to make it look like I belong when in truth Id
prefer the night end early so I can stop acting. Cj and Alex, two of the 6, are playing pong and I use the
opportunity to stop moving, I lean against the fridge and watch. The movement never stops around
them; young girls who cant hold their drink are screaming and falling, kids are piled high onto the
couch in the living room, and I can see the back of one kid crouched over the toilet in the bathroom. By
all other accounts this is a highschool party, but to me its a test of will power. I cant trust myself to
drink in large groups after the time I blacked out in wildwood and ran around shirtless shaking peoples
hands, Id much rather retreat upstairs and smoke more and thats just what I do.
At the top of the stairs there is a hole in the wall, now this hole isnt new but everyone who
doesnt consider this their second home thinks that it is. At the top of the stairs, next to the hole, is Sams
room and inside Sams room is an overly drunk 10th grader trying to apologize to Sam for the hole he
just put in the wall. I walk in the room and Sam looks at me, then over to X whos sitting on the bed,
then back to the kid. Sam shrugs and tells him he can pay for it by grabbing him a beer and the kid
leaves. You know, thats the tenth time someone has mentioned the hole, they arent helping, Sam stops
and takes a hit from the bong in his lap then passes it to me. Before taking a hit I ask what the numbers
at, people wise, and get One-hundred and thirty-ish as an answer from X. I light the bowl piece and
inhale hard thinking how I only know about one-tenth of the people there, an outsider in my own
domain. Weird. We finish smoking and head downstairs.
A black kid is leaning against the wall dividing the kitchen and living room, hes dressed in all
black and stands with a half smoked blunt hanging from his lips. The three of us move over to CJ and
ask if he has any idea who the kid is, His names Dunn, hes from Chester and he hasnt moved since he
came in...or passed that blunt, no one seems to know him and they walk around him accordingly. The
acid that the 6 took earlier in the night is starting to kick in and X makes sure Im feeling it too, no
ones playing pong so I hoist myself onto the island and watch the world move around me like a kid on a
safari. I think to myself Look at all the foreign animals, the elusive cheerleader in a chugging match
with the pygmy band geek. A stumbling drunk 10th grader, the same one from upstairs, comes barreling
into the room and Im back in my head like a nature documentary. Now watch as the rabid, fledged,
sophomore falls into the unprepared predator known as the jock. The kid goes down, spilling his beer
almost entirely on the varsity football player. Seeing this, X, Sam, and I all grab the kid before the jock
has a chance to retaliate and carry him outside with a friend of his in tow. The kids asking for more to
drink but we tell him hes flagged and cant have anymore, he starts flailing until his friend steps in and
tells us hell handle him, we head back in. Its 10:25 and the counts at 200.
By this point Im loose and ready to mingle. Backed by the hallucinogen and the safari in my
head I dive into conversation; if you can even call it that. Words fall recklessly from my mouth towards
a kid Ive never met, he nods with confusion on his face as I cant help but tell him how life is like an
endless loop. A loop, mind you, is something that comes full circle, and here we are. We wake up and
fall asleep, we go to work and then we go back home, we live to grow old to have kids to start the cycle
over;to put more loops out into the universe. If you really think about it, and I mean really really think
about it, youll see the loops in your life. Our planet, which is looped by the moon, endlessly loops the

Sun, I could go on but the kids already gone so I start wandering with my head in the clouds. Sam, X,
Cj, Alex, and Erika are nowhere to be found, at least not inside. Theyre all out back seated around a
table on the deck smoking cigarettes, I join them to reunite the 6.
As I walk outside from the kitchen they all turn as a wave of sound flys by me. The calm of
outside-life is unprecedented in comparison to inside-life, I can hear myself breathe.