Kate Tempest Wasted BLOOMSBURYary Me rama An igri tory Pilg Pl | 0 ted Sc 286 fay ‘nse svi bleomsburycam ‘Bloomsbury i ogiered tae mark f Bloonry Pushing Pe ex pblaied 2018 epined 21% 24 ose) (© Kate Cave, 2018 ate Cae iat er ih ud the Cap ig, ead Path i oe en sane os ek ‘Als ered. pu hi pbcan may ie eprad Incoing potacoping, radio a ny nema surge era sytem without pro pein wing om he pelo No responsi for nw caused 309 india or onan ng on orsign sven race Pablicion cn be acrpe by Bloor hese leigh shasgeveria hi pty are ey rere nd aplion tpn al ema ire rary peso ‘Shen unfas a ence ar ented sane and errant a) prormmnceprenen eeroer ‘se abe roa the apne cyto Dri Library Catalog in Pabienton Daa ‘A cvalgue ein or is ane fm Wee Lier, brary of Cane Casogng a Pubcon Dae cules for ths book eae om the ny of Congres. ‘ise Mah Hein Lt Scarborough, North Yrstie sed premiered at Latiude Festival on 18 July 2011 and the cast wa as fllows Ted Alexander Cobb Danny Ashley George Charlotte Liny Was "The play toured in 2012 to 26 venues The role of Ted was plist by Cary Grankson and che ue of Danny by Bradley “Taylor Dini James Griewe asin Cai Dyan Tighing Design. Angela Anson ‘Shend Design Toon Gibbons ‘Muse Koake Bass ‘Fn Design Mathy Tremewan & Fran Broadnurt Assit Dietr Stel Drs Asia Dir Mark Maughan Compan Sage Menage Hare Stewart Production & Tena Colin Evert Ste Menage Producer Tata Wilkinson Line Paucr Hanna SectorWasted‘These stage directions are open for interpretation, Dark tage. Sounds of London ply ont the speakers. Danks singing. Sirens. Masiet men. Television hosts heard through ling room windos. Trafic. People laughing. School kids screaming. All fil recordings, acual London sounds. Projections of London lay ‘on the sven Lights come up gents, like suns, vecwaling each thavacer one at tine ‘Ted isa shy Hse des, rally small, with a massive phone omit ‘anda chunky old computer monitor and Toads af es. He oo tike he feo sch, He is malig pil. Ts ier side of him ave cardiac cut-outs of middle-aged women with immaculate ha, something about them is hideous. They have oversized heads. They ‘aye Hown up, monsirous versions of wrk collegues. The sounds nw ar of phones ringing, cal centre type voices, nat lary saying ‘anything, Dut polite, sickly tones, pretending ob hap, also ‘women talking abou celebrity couples, their nex door neighbours ‘Mindless gossip. Thy sores straight chen. Charlotte isin the staf room, Sounds of boiling hte, langing teacher, inaadibie bust conversation, The tones are sarcastic, Lined. hope show off anal compet forthe per hand. The conversation: ae dominated By exaggerated Belowing, the arschole teacher slogging off the kids to make thnseles fel beter. Balls ringing. Photocopier sounds. Charlte stands etueen two eardboard exons of teachers with massive exes, ea ips a ‘woman in drab clties— il ting leggings type ~ ane a balding tan in glasses ond lierspts. Charl is smi along, but looks Tike se might faint, o cr, or something. She looks completely alone, espa the nos. Danny is iting on a dingy sofa, in from of «coe abe, oner Ballads playing Jrom a cheesy radio waton. Magic PM. Bullshit conversation, sound of lod, exaggerated sing, people doing lines, To ether side of him ae to cardboard ew-ous often) foe ‘year old London men, they are bth searing very similar jeans and hrs They ae bulky, Ther heads are monstrous, especially their restr and mouths. Also two nomen, laughing iytericaly, massive ‘pelashes, lips, perfect hain Over-exoggerated laughing, Fumbleretelling of teenage memories. Empty cas of lage and bles of strange spits id things like chocolat ieur and Babychas. Anything goes al this time ofthe morning. Te voices inthe room are talling ver each othe singing along to the poe ballads, loging Danny on eh et ter ha confused, but e's smiling and nodding along. Cuting up a line for fay 7 ng along. Cutting up a line f ‘The sound swells to wncomforably loud, maybe some white wos, ‘and then cuts ut. These thre, as wel as bug the characters, are ats the Chorus. When they are speaking the chorus ines, they are alt and none of the characters. Any of them can spec any ofthe Ghorus lines. They should speak to the audience. They shoud’ be afr of smiling atthe audience, olaaking a thom dead inthe ye ‘They shld speak in their om accents, and be ear of the meter beneath the word, in the way tha ou ae ease ofa bel when Jo dance to song. These are nt the characters et even though they (ey aroha exeryone thats fel hs the characters fee. Chorus One ‘One If we're being honest with you, ‘Three Actually honest, not just apparently hones. One Then we have to ell you, we don't have a eue what any of you ave doing here. ‘Two We're not realy sure what any of us are doing here, ‘Three Thing is, ‘Two We wish we had some kind of incredible ruth toespress : One We wish we knew the deeper meaning. Three Buc we don't ‘Two We don't have nothing to tell you that you don't already know, andl we thought icwas worth acknowledging tha ‘Three Fuck it, while we've speaking plainly, le’ get all, ‘outin the open. One We're not used to this kind of environment. ‘Two We're the people tha feel awkward in theatres, One The people that don't laugh atthe bits where ‘everyone else laughs. ‘Two ‘The people that never know what to say aierwards when everyone elses expressing their opinions. ‘Three Wedon’t want to stand herein front of you and pretend we can see you. ‘One Wecan see you. ‘Three You look lovely. And we're glad you're here. One # Weare,6 Wasted “Two Weslo’ wan to show you something impressive that makes you feel clever. fey : One No Thee We ust want o show you some One Something our Two. And well be happyitit makes you feel anything atl One Nobig deal, but Three Atthesame ime, ig honest, One Everything we ever knew. ‘Two What this is, is home, ne Deserted playgrounds rps singing on the set Bodin gms ctl the piensa a ean and bodies till you can't see bodies, Three Working shit jobs ‘Two And tying co care about things you don't care about Three And saving up to buy things you hate yourself for wanting All Home, Two A city where nothing much happens except everything, ‘ Three Where everyone isso entirely involved in their own ‘One ‘nothing much? Three “That they forget about the every elsewhere. S z happening ‘Two And the things, if we've being honest with you, One And that’s all we want to be~ ‘Two 'simportant that we el you that we have no idea what we're doing, Chorus One 7 One Weneed you to understand the history here. Three See~ One We were thirteen once, with our fists full of beer that wwe jacked From the of ‘Three We ived without fear ‘Two We looked up to our elders, ‘Three And awaited the days ‘Two When we'd be looked up to by kids half our age. ‘Three ‘The years passed, : One We got wasted in raves and fel Two Godlike ‘Thee Held spliff up in the dark ofthe party like ‘Two Fog lights One We were children ina city of ‘Two Dogfights and rock pipes, One Surrounded by “Two Deadbeats and lost types ‘Three London belonged 10 AML Us ‘Two We smoked skunk on the bus. ‘Three Everything was ours One We got thumped in the guts but All Stood firm, ‘Three We was young and we trusted each other, ‘wo twas all romantic and real8 Wasted ‘Three We was frantic and full of our feelings and langhing and squealing, One Holding our sides heneach the unfolding of skies in the evening, ‘Two Ah, but things happened, Three Our eyes got One Dimmer ‘Three And our dreams got One Flatened, ‘Two We got older, didn’t we? We got responsibilities, One Started seeing our defiance a arrogance and stupiliy, ‘Two We used to be rebellious ‘Three And angry One And initall ogether, ‘Three Buttime passed and we realised ‘Two Nothing One Lass ‘Three Forever, ‘Two Sonow we carry it within us, the fact we used to be One Eternal, ‘Two Before the world caught up and we forgot what we ‘was living for, Three We became ‘One Theinmate, Two The guard, ‘Three And the key that locked the prison door. Chorus One 9 ‘Two We used to skim the surface One Till we sank and hit the river floor, Two We realised, One This s all theres. Three ‘There really isn't more. One Staring dovn the barrel ‘Two Ofan empty bottle Three Asking ito give us i All. More, ‘One Hearts heating ‘Three ag over bills to pay, Slosver than they used (0, ste ‘Two Aniilion distractions justo fill the day, ‘Three Faces greyer than before. I's not our world One Ics someone else's ‘Two We're less empathetic and more ‘Three Selish, ‘Two Less independent and more ‘Three Helpless ‘Two Thing is though, One We soldier on through the cigyseape, ‘Two Trying to carve outa niche for ourselves in our litle ways, Three Life's great, One Life's awful ‘Two ‘Repettions and figure eights,10 Wasted One Were i ing like our best days Two Have already slipped away. One And honesty, ‘Three How can we rise up and take the reigns back, ro When allwe realy wanna do isto ill our dreams and ler our brains AIL Smack, ‘Two ‘Themselves about in the corner of a rave? ‘Three Desperate for someone to help us, but convinced we: can't be saved. One We got friends we known since we were horn, but we ‘can't tell them what we're feeling, ‘Three We're alone with the city in allt ditty heaving ‘Two Wherethe children fight for breath and get and old before their time, One Or, die young enough to liveforever, or lose their fuckin’ minds, ‘Three And that’s the perfect tragedy of London ~ ‘Two A city where the best of us lose our ability to function, One And the worst of us thrive, ‘Two And the rest of us stride on and on through ‘Three ‘The mess, Two The rust, ‘Three The flesh, Two The lust, ‘Three Thelies Scene One 11 One Thebreath, Three Thedust, One The skies we lit our heads to wateh, ‘Three ‘The pride. Two Thesex, Three The blood, ‘Two The fried food, ‘Three ‘The stress ‘Two The way we hide from the truch that is inside. ‘Three We hold so tight to our disguise, ‘One That ve find ourselves alone when we're surrounded, divided from our tribe, Scene One ‘Ted i iting on a ark bench ooking ow atthe audience, He's Iaghing at Tony's He has can nhs hand, aplastic bag ful of cans by his fet. He's wearing a cheap anit and shoes, but he doesn’ lah shay. He loks smart. Smoking: He its there fra long ‘moment before speaking. Sound of birds, distant sirens. Kids Sereasmng ina playground somewhere, Tai, Ted seems quite ise But hes holding it together ‘Ted Ttused to be, we hung aut cor I couldn't wait to be around her, coulda’t wait to bury my head in her tts and Tisten o her giggle. But now. Now, we wake up together ‘every morning and it don't fel the same. 1 think I'm miserable, Tony. I woulda’t want her co know that, it don't seem fair on her but between you and me mate, think I'm prety fuckin’ miserable, Right now I mean, today12, Wasted Sh thins Pon he aes tr co wei siy tik ofc bu tm nx ough, Tony i plop nea surrounded by los, Net fom accouan inten ee Custard crear and ain al he Nell tie Ns nme, the wees goby. very day hese na Pte doit the wock ake a the data enya men nthe round andi won't have mae these iter diterce tonoone. I woulda even indi ye know, ie nor payin the bill, but isso foci tious thoes there allay, ging them all oy fk eae ery thy tha goes pat ack op, and Tower righ soncas, Angi teases the da Te give ems al fede together inthis anv row a ie tof ny leh me when Ta ung wo deep. Weestl young by hake Sake We could sell the car Leve the fa Packet oe ‘Wecotldlvein pain Leold gerajobin aes Storage bea are: Wecould sim naked these We ol ox drunk inthe aernoonanslepaffon te eae Danny wl np the path bend hin and stands next to him fora minut, ooking a the bag yh fot. He its dan Danny Alright, Ted? Ted Alright, Dan? Danny How’sit goin’? ‘Ted Yeah, alight mate, not bad. Danny looks around, atthe te, smokes his cigarette Ted Ten years Danny 1 know mate, Feels like yesterday, dunnit? ‘Ted Fees ike ten years to me, Danny takes some sank ow of hs pocket and stots skinning up, Heat wind Wit big ahd, ed ies Dany hand from the wind Scene One 13 ‘Ted (lo Tony, about Danny) He aint changed much, still bpelieves he can have whatever he wants. Thinks he's gonna play guitar on seminal lbumsand tour America and writea ult fuckin’ novel thal change the way we think about our lives. Shit. He's one of my oldest fiends, and I love him to pieces. I'd lie dawn and fsckin’ die in the road for him ~ but sometimes, sometimes, he can be abit ofa knob. You know, Ym not being funny, but, you knows, when he’s with all his cool new ‘creative’ mates. They ain't real, Tons. They ain't like us. They st around, with ironic trousers on and three Inaireuts each, waiting to be discovered ‘What he don’t realise i that in ten years, hell be thirty five, ‘one a them fuckers we used to laugh at at partes, gurning, his faceoff, dribbling over some nineteen year old acid casualty called Sparkle telling himself he's sill gotit. He'll be there, giving ic the old — might he sensitive but I'm still ‘dangerous ~ treating women lke shit eoz he hates hi for never having had the guts to put himself second and ‘commit to one of ‘em. Ittakes strength to commit, Tone, it really fuckin’ does... Then, next thing he knows, he'll be forty-five, strung out from the cocaine and the booze and the ‘MDMA, having panic atcacks every night when he's on his ‘own, cor he'll have realised that he's too old to be young, anymore, and the world won't apply to him, and all the isl be listening to music he don't understand and suddenly all them interesting ideas he had, and all them ‘exciting collaborations he was involved in, won't he half as fuckin’ important anymore. He'll be worse offthan me then, He'll have no seminal fuckin’ work to wank off about, he'll bie alone in his trendy flat, conducting imaginary interviews ‘vith imaginary journalists about imaginary masterpieces. ‘And me? Tbe as miserable as I've always been, right there beside him, Danny finishes rolling the joint He ight it lifts it the ee, ‘exhale, posses io Ted, Ted smokes, heavy Danny What do you reckon he'd be up to no a14 Wasted ‘Ted What d'you mean? Danny Like, for ajob, Ted Dunno, Same as the rest of us probably. Fuck all Danny Nah, he would have been something. Ted Like what? Danny I dunno. Something, Tod Like what? Danny Dunno, Chef; Have his own restaurant. ‘Ted He couldn't cook an egg, mate: Danny Cameraman then, Or a vet or something. I dunno, Anything, Fuckin’ lawyer 4 Ted Lawyer? Danny Fireman, ‘Ted He would have made a good lawyer actualy Danny Tiain driver, ‘Ted Know what I heard about train drivers? Danny What? ‘Ted Ifyou drivea train and you hit three people. Like, Like, tree people jump out in front of your tran. Danay Yea ‘Ted You get paid leave andl a pension rest of your lif Danny Really? Ted Yeah, even ifyou only been on the job a week. Danny ‘That's mental, Te Sounds srg though, don i? Twas hiking bout doing it. : : ines Scene One 15 Danny Yeah? ‘Ted Coulds’t handle ic though, if someone did jump out. Danny Never forgive yourself would ya? ‘Ted Three times as well. Fuck you right up that would, Danny Sill, he woulda been something, Ted. He would have. Ted Well we'll never know now, will we? Danny No. S'pose not Ted Sucha waste, Pans They Dri Danny How's work? Ted Yeah, its alright, Danny Same old same old ch? ‘Ted Something lke tha, yeah. Danny I dunno how you doit, mate. ‘Ted Well, you just do, don't ya? You just do. Danny Yeah, spose ‘Ted What ahout you? How’s the band and that? Danny Oh yeah, great yeah. Wel, you know, we don't have a drummerat the moment, but we have got these tshirts we ‘made. And I met a guy the other day who said he'd be up for drumming for us, and he's prety good as far a8 Ican tel Well, Lain’ heard him drum, but, he looks like a drummer. Long hair, tatoos and that. Nice guy. ‘Ted Tell you the truth, Dan, Iean't fuckin’ stand it Danny Can‘t stand what? ‘Ted. d's not like you set outto end up nowhere is it16 Wasted Danny You ain't nowhere, mate. You're working hard, Ted I need to change it up, Dan, Ifnot for me, for him. 1 ‘mean, look, Danny What? ‘Ted Wel, ook at his cree, Danny What about it? Ted_Even that changes four dines a year Know what I Danny Yeah, To. Ido. 1 been thinking the sime thing, Ted Course you have, Danny Day like today, you think, fuck, Don't you? All ofa sudden ten years has gone by: All the things you done, that’s Just what you done. You weren't even thinking. But now, suddenly i's made you who youre, You can’t go back, can ya? Ted No, you can’ Danny So, I'm making some changes right now, as it goes. Thad an epiphany, didnt os ‘Ted Anepiphany? Danny Yeah, you know. Like a realisation, ‘Ted Yeah, [know what it fick’ means, mate, What die you realise? Danny That's time, innit, i's time now. ‘Ted Time for what? Danny ‘Time for me o sort my shitout, Ted In what way? Danny _Inall ways. 've gota fix up. Geta proper job, sto ‘getting fucked al the time inaiodiees Ted Why? Scene One 17 Danny For Charlot, init. Ted Charlowe? Danny Iwanther back, don't, ‘Ted Serious? Danny Yeah. ‘Ted Hows that going then? Danny Wel, i's up and down to be honest. Sometimes it Feels like she's up for it but then suddenly she goes al eol ‘Ted Wel, she’s probably ust trying to be careful mate Danny She's driving me mental. ‘Ted Do you mean it? Danay Course I mean it That's what I'm sayi fix up. ‘Ted She's a nice girl, Dan. She's nota dickhead, Iced 10 Danny Tanna seitle down, ‘Ted You wanna setle down? Danny Yeah, What's wrong with that? ‘Ted You broke her heart, Dan. Danny 1 just need one more chance. That's all. If she'd just, give me one more chance, it'd be different ths time, but thads what I'm saying, you can't go back can ya? Ted No. Danny Like, lastnight, we went fora drink ‘Ted Yeah? Danny Fuckin’ great it was, Went back to hers. It was all good, But then, like this morning, soon as | wake up she's giving me the silent treatment, locking at me like I tricked her or something, Like I dane something bad, Tsay, what's going’on, then she just freezes up, leaves for work.18 Wasted ‘Ted That good was it Danny I keep telling her, fresh start, but what ean T do? If she's always expecting me to et the eunt, prety soon, I'm ona act the cunt, aren't I> ‘Ted She needs to Know you ain't gonna waste her time again. She's testing you Danny I ain't gonna waste her time again, Ted. That's what {Ym saying, The epiphany, it dawned on me, you know, today, Tony's ay and all that. I got to stop pissing about and Actually get something started. Show her innit. Show her that T mean it, Ted Yeah? Danny I'm changing things, ain't 1, chissit, mate ‘Ted Well, good for you, pal. Good for you. hey drink. Smoke the spliff. Danny takes a fuff and hols the -moke in, passes ito Tel and doesn't exhale wil he ges the jout back, Ted dis the same, Danny What you doing later anyway? Ted Dunno, more ofthis Danny We should do something, shouldn't we? Celebrate ‘Ted Celebrate what? He's dead Danny You know what I mean. Mark the occasion. He would have wanted us to, ‘Ted What you goc in mind? Danny Wel, there's this party my mates are putting on, ‘Ted What kind of party? Danny Nothing too mental, ‘Ted Ob right, just the usual ncenty rg sound clash then, lec me guess warehouse in Peckham full of wannabe rude boys out to rob phones, and trendy fuckin’ art students Scene One 19 passed out in a corner experiencing Ketamine, Think E'm alright, mate, Danny Dontbeadick, Come on. ‘Ted What about your epiphany? Danny What about it? ‘Ted I's not really my thing anymore, Dan. Danny Teil bea laugh, ‘Ted _Alaugh? Well get there, you'll fuck off and start chatting to a bunch of people with adjectives instead of ‘names, while [sit there like a lemon, getting drunk on iy own, Danny It won't be ike that, Ted, Come on, we ain't been in ages. ‘Ted That's coz I ain't really on it no more. Danny ‘Ten years, Ted. Come on, for Tony, mate ‘Ted Charlotte going? Danny Yeah, shes ‘Ted Maybe it would be nice, me and you and Charlote, like the old days, eh? Danny Exactly, ‘Ted Alright, let’ go party the ut you ean just fuck off with her the minute we get there and leave me, Billy ‘no mates, looking like someone's brought their Dad along. Danny Nah, Ted. The three of us. We'll zoand have it, for Tony, and the old days. And for right now: And for fuckin’ forever mace Ted Oh stop will ya, Pm welling up.20° Wasted Scene Two Charlotte's sanding a bo wth agin and tonic. She lak tired ‘The cardbvantcw-outs from earlier areal around her Sound of ‘eopletaling, not saying much, songs from a jue bs, doors opening and closing, barmaid bantering with regulars The friendly sounds make contrast with th il, monstrous eut-os, who are crouding her. Realy clae to her She faces th audience, ath them ithe side, the bar been her and the edge othe sage Charlotte 1m stood at the front of the cass and fel like Tm drovning. I'm staring out at them, and I'm thinking who the fuck are you lot anyway? Took at them, but can't see children, I can jus se the colour of ther jumpers, smudges where thei faces should be. Behind me, today’s dates writen onthe board tryin to pretend I don’t know what it means. mee Wes hot and te dasroom stinks and the clock’ broken and the wrk stuck upon he wala and the eornestare, ‘omingaway and thekxive seaming ‘Tm trying fo remember why I wanted to do this in the first place. You can't inspire minds on a timetable ike this, Think 1'm iiserable, Tony. {meant sand the sar in between clase an smile along with the others, ut they're allo ive, Tony They se also fckin’ haf Thin years inthe jo, and tey lane everything about it bt its to late or them to gets en fob and I'm prety sure that secretly they hope the bs cone ‘onothing. Tmean it. You shoul car the way they tlk about them. No wonde the kids aelling each other ver seodeson geting kat the though ot eng The elassroom's hot, and I'm staring at che kids, and Pm remembering us lot when we was a school - moving through the corridors like we was the fuckin’ Roman ‘empire. Tm remembering how it felt tobe filteen, us lot, in a Scene'Two 21 party, feling ike the world was our, like we fuckin’ owned it. 'm remembering how we cared about each other, how we {got in fights for each other and robbed Tescos and built fires And got off our faces, ic was exciting, wasnt it? Hel real. What even happened to.us? We go parties now, and we've {got nothing to say to each other il We're fucked. And even then. We spend hours talking about partes from before, things that happened to us once, we spend life retelling life ‘and its pointless and boring. And so, I'm staring out a the kids, watching them slouching in their chairs and playing with theit phones ang suddenly mu remembering the other day, sualight through the ndow of hot train, I'm sat there, heading into town, and there's a group of ten or fifteen boys on some kind of fel tsip with their teacher, nd they're wearing nice uniforms, ‘they must have been from a private school or something. I mean, I listened to them talking to each other and J wanted to cry coz these were young men with beautiful voiees and healthy hair and good posture, talking to each other in perfect English, and helping each other with equations and, Fackin' algebra and asking each other questions about how to say this or that particular thing in French, and i did't seem fai. [thought ofthe kids here in my class, wit their squinty eyes and bad skin, mouth fall of swear words and silence, and ie didn't seem far. And I'm stood there and 1 feel like bursting into tears and telling them all to un out on | the srects ind smash windows or something, do something. 1 want to tell them they're perfect and they're strong and tell, them to go out and live every minute of their lives from their {guts to goafter what they want, to own this fuckin’ terrible Géty and get ll they can out of if. But I don't say anything do T?Imiean, what could 1 say? 1 say nothing. [just stand there and listen to them telling ‘each other to fick off, stare atthe broken clock, the work peeling off the walls, and 1 know this isthe las time Tl stand herein front of them, the last time. And I'm staring at them,‘22 Wasted wondering what they'll be lke ten years from now. And then, sudklenly 'm thinking of Danny. I'm thinking of las nigh, Tewas perfect. But then I woke up and [looked at hin, and Thought about the future, Six months down the line, year ‘maybe, two. lle distant, worn ox by him, and he'll be pretending nothing's changed, out of pride he'l put his, ‘doubts awa, convince himself o be tis man he tells me only ‘can make hina, this better man he talks about. But realy, well be sick ofeach other, well be sfled anu clinging to cach other as tight as we can to keep ourselves froma ‘accepting there's nothing you can give person that don't take half f them away. Fean see myself, eating alone at the kitchen table, wondering where he is, the nagging gislfiend, uptightand unreasonable, his laughter in the ply shrugging it olf, me, st ehere, feeling so self-righteous that even when he does come home I cant show him that deep. «down I'm really Fuckin happy to see hima. And then the ‘moody silences, and off to bed, and strange, private dreams, andl waking up tothe alarm going and Kissing him goodbye without smiling and on and on until everyehis ‘selfs fopgotten, Even if feels good now, itll end in the same grey routine, the cozy choking afternoons, The unsaid words getting heavier and heavier ‘til we don't even fight out loud anymore, ‘Andls0 here Iam, in front ofthe lass and the classroom’s hot and I feel ike Tm drowning and T walk out ofthe classroom, Topen the door and walk out of the classroom, ‘And the kids are shouting after me, but Ignore them, T walk down the corridor, I turn lef, I walk down the sais, Kids everywhere, I swim through them, turn eft again, the doors, I walk through the doors, 'm in the a I'm outside, Te’ raining gently. I's good. Pm walking to the bus stop, I'm leaving. Pm making a decision, I'm changing things This iit. ‘And then 'm coming in here and I'm ordering a dink for ‘meand one for you, Tony, and I'm carrying them over to the table in the corner, and I'm stating athe pint and the Scene Two 23 empty chaiand Tm trying to remember the irs me they served urn ere, aking sp ofty drink and hen Pn lip your cata: And Ua energy are Bila ele epee ie sete Taner Deckend fhe ret of ny ‘Tea (like he might have oid it a fas tnes already) Chasloute? Charlotte Alvight, Ted. Sorry was miles away. Ted Someone sting here? Charlotte No, go on Ted What, that not someone's drink? . Charlotte Got i for, Tony Ted No course not, not siya al Charlotte You been to his eee yet? ed Yeah. Charlotte How wast? ‘Ted Ob, you know, still here. You been down yet? Charlotte Nab, not yet. Coulda’ face it. Came here instead, ly innit? Ted How's work? Charlotte Yeah, is alright How’s yours? ‘Ted Yeah, ya know. Not bad, Charlotte I miss him Ted. Do you? Do you miss him? ‘Ted Yeah, Course I do, Charlotte Ted But you know what? Charloue What? ‘Ted Ofall the conversations we had, me and him, over the ‘years gnd tha, Ian't remember any ofem.24 Wasted Charlowe What d'you mean? ‘Ted Like, we spent years talking to each other, but Tcan't remember a word Wwe sad, Charlotte Far as T remember it was mainly ~safe bruv, heavy, or let me have a Riza, ‘Ted Point is, you don't remember the particulars da you, Just the felings. Eknow 1 knew him, but I ean't remember hhow. You know what I mean? Charlotte Not realy ‘Ted That's why you got to act on your feelings init, coz i's all you got. you're either happy, or you ain’. Charlotte Teft my jb. ‘Ted What? Really? How? Charlotte 1 just handed my notice! ‘Ted What, that ic? Jus ike thar? Charlotte Yeah. 1 just walked out Ted Fuck. You left your job!.., How do you feel? Do you feel dilferehe? Gharlotte No, not really not yee Ted So what you gonna do? Charlowe I'm going away. Ted What? Charlotte Tain’ told anyone yet, but I booked a fight. I'm olf, Ted, Ted What? Chartotte 1 just thoughe, fuck t, you know. Fuck it: And L ‘went online, and I booked a fight and that’s it, Pm leaving, Ted What about Danny? Scene Two 25 Charlone What about Danny? Ted Youtet ne Charl scompliatd Tea Why? Charite ont know. ‘ed Donit you ke him? Gilet racer ferent Ted Everyone needs an arschot Carltte Yon’ rot hit, Ted cere Catto He thinks he docs. And he's very convincing but Telou' believe bi, And ont want to eel guy fr aaye ocean Ted What do you wan then? harlot just wana change, Pater ae eer Charlotte Yeah “ed When you gona el hin? CChutote 1 dor know Ted You coming out conigh though igh? Charlowe Wel I ws gona, bit, gotto packand come un ge You gous For [yaa ha ce tbetnepy Epp abo The three of ws, You gotta come. Anyway, packing can wait caufit When you leaving? hoe amare Ted Tomorrow?26 Wasted Chorus Tro One Change coming! ‘Two. Change coming! One swear, we can change something Three We change nothing, ‘Two Change is pulfing up its chest, ‘One Change is jumping wits death, Three Change is running, One Short ofbreath, ‘Two Change is falling Three Change is calling on its people, Two Change’ people are not talking. One Nothing changes. You walk around the cy, Two. Staréat strangers, One You might notice an expression ona fiiend you known forages, ‘Two. Butit’s hopeless, Three We can't keep each other safe, One We can barely focus Three We ust want to live ttle, ‘Two And what’ living iit doesn’ kill you? ‘Three Every atom in us screams at us to let our hearts out, One Burit’seasier to Two Pass out One Than ofall asleep peacefully, Chorus Two 27 ‘Three If we're lying co each other, we don't mean it deceitfully =| ‘wo We're nothing more than rag and bone, One We close our eyes Three And stagger home, ‘One While the groaning timbers in the windows seem to brag and moan — Three They sy, wel, you look older ‘Two But you haven't grown, One We see our fies slide across the pane, ‘Three We look away, One Nothing for it, ‘Two Bost your brain to glory, ‘Three Same old story One And it shows no sign of Three Ending, One Coz there's whole night ahead of us, Two Ours for the befriending, ‘Three And no matter what our brains beg of us, One Our hearts ae ripe for the tempting, Three See, One When you're sick of heing trodden down Three You reach for yourascension in the nonsense that you swallow down, ‘Two We just wanna find some One Substance wo 1h this hollow town,28 Wasted Scene Three 29 One It doesn't matter that tomorrow's round the corner if inning, with tir rms round each ther’ necks aking a ke ‘you're sorrows drowned tonight, re ten years eld. There shouldbe a massive difference in their ‘Two Atleast that's something, acter = eres a7 a ee pe e he They shuld een nd tactile. Thy gel oa bi then One _ And how can we be blamed when every: ‘day's the int wrestling each other, The three of them are dancing, in their sam? mrs and hn ther Td hous hs coms aren bth of Two We,just want ose our mames and our edges. et rcs, yal teget lt re ude, eng, and One Wi ried, looking thighs, oolong, grinning, ching me We ust want to lose our minds or ‘Blochout, sound stops Ligh come wp ond ts dylgt, sly Kind A desigh that you never ral want toe. Iselin Study ‘Three No one's gonna laugh at you if no one knows your Inoring, Ted, Danny and Charlotte ar siting onan old of tortured use Te dor othe partys tthe back of th sage, thes sn x ite yard that ads ot othe ert Mesbe sme ras, as. ‘Two We want to change, concrete. They're wasted, eyes rolling, jaws tight, sipping water, One But change aborced becomes strange lowing, indy Leaking mines, etn planorous. They Prise re see eee ae ould lt hve tht Bitle MASA ticks, ihr ewok inges pes ba ld repetitions, ‘pointing their words ou, or something in thei faces. Post ill ‘Two Wegrin, (gremlins, Charlotte is physically with them (they've al touching esa stats aise ts ch cer omehns at al ns) ut her mind sens eewhee ‘Three And we forget our epiphany ‘Ted Anthony. Did you ever cll him Anthony? One The minute that we thought it ‘Three And lose the lines that draw the borders. ‘Two. The shadows haunt the comers, Danny No, only his Mum called him that Charlotte Lealled him Ane sometimes, Scene Three pm na wrcosen Pra re cra comply munted. But rt na cariatr bind of ay Tay thal suggests they've een geting munted for many years, and hw get Nol Dee a fewer tht hing mal i deal no ak Danny No, tmeant, ike, Ted short for Edward toe, mayb sabe lights, or UV snp light make thon lok 1 3 pe ‘mate their teeth look dirty, eyes look a bit alien etc. prea Nebelog: als old Te mae ir as mai losing. Loud. Nahing hey, Real diy ond Danny My mum calls me Daniel ‘uss hay. Thee sould be a elng of toads 0 ther ape te bc Sa room. Maybe the cardboard cwt-ouis from earlier, Danny aud Ted as Ae siting together wth thei backs agent speakers, on te loo, Danny Good, Suits you too. Ted Anthony. Sounds ikea different guy, don't? Danay Does your Mum call you Edward?30 Wasted Ted What docs? Danny That ig fuckin’ face of yours, Ted What about it? Danny Suits you, Jus lovely ‘Ted Thanks, Dan. Ly my best you know, Ido try Danny [look at your face, and T think, you know, I known itso long. I know every fuckin’ bit of your face. Tt looks just like your face. Know what I mean? Fuckin’ hel, Ica’ Delieve it. How long we been mates? Ted Yeah. Weitd, eh? Considering how much we hate ‘each other, Danny You have to ruin it don't you? ‘Ted I'm just joking, you know I'm joking, [think we're lucky realy: do, and we are, sin’ we, us three? Danny Yeah, ‘Ted_Sonie people don't have mats, Danny No, ‘Ted_ Is een realy getting me down recenly, you know anny What bas, mate? Ted Oh, you know, work, and the routine, and Sally and me, the fat, and who's doing the washing up, and who's ‘making the dinner or, you know. I's, T dunno. [ain really been seeing alot of anyone else, Lost contact with alot of people, I suppose. Ie’ life though, innit. Getting older. But, Sometimes Dan, Tink up with you, and I think, what cunt, you know? Coz, you don't have any of those kind of worries ‘do you? The fuckin’ rush hour on the Tube, and the ely and the pub quiz. You jut naff around being interesting, and I think, whata prick. You know, But, i life, innit, Coz, obviously, you're nota prick. But, you know: It's good to get Dut, innit? Come out and party. Fd’ want to. Fm kind of Scene Three 31 wha tle Alone with all his. Done with call. You know? AR happened. But, I've had a fuckin’ great night Danny Well th Ted Obviously I don’t mean I actually think you're a prick, Dan. Danny No, Course not ed You know what I mean though, don't ya? Danny Mate, I'ma fckin’ mess. Right state, You? You got it sorted, Got a lovely girltiend, steady job, nice flat. You got itsorted. ‘Ted _I'sboring though. That's what I'm saying. You? You party hard, Me? I hardly party. Everything's exciting for you. Behind the bar or on the dole, or doing some shifs hhere and there. Every day something different for you. No responsibilities. You're offon tour Alright, maybe only a tour of Croydon, but stil. Off you go. Charlotte Oh shu up, the pair of you are doing great Trust me. You hoys are fine. I'm the one should be complaining. I woke up one morning and Twas hasically amy Nan, anny What? Nah. You gota steady job, good prospects, you're doing something you love Ted Charlotte spend my if trying to keep fourteen year olds {rom sending each other pietires of their cocks, Danny ‘Svery important. Ifanyone's alright out ofthe three of us, i's you, Charlot. ‘Ted_ We have had some good times though, ain't we? All us lot. I mean, I don't remember exactly what happened or anything. But we did though, didn't we? anny Yeah. We had a right laugh,ae Wasted ‘Ted And it’s good, inni? Have a night ou, feets beter than remember. God, I feel, I feel great Is lovely Te feels lovely Danny Wel, you deserve it, mate, You work hard, don't ya? Ted Yeah, Ido, you know. Ido, Danny Well, havea night out then, ‘Ted And it's not like Lain’ got plans Ghartotte What are your plans, Ted? Bed Well you know, gotlots of plans. Shit, actually, you Know, well, Ioads. Lmake plans all the tine, Finean, ne ‘ould have a plan together, couldn't wet Danny Like what? Ted "Well, [heen thinking about a business. My own business, get star up loan or one a them Charlotte What kind ofbusiness? Ted Oh, something. You know, What do we need? Now? "What do we need that we can't get? Danny “Delivery booze. ‘Ted Ah! Genius Perfect that, Fuckin’ right on the fuckin’ ‘ote, bang on the money, perfect. Absolutely fuckin’ yes, tate Twenty-four hour delivery boot, cold beers, citly stravs in your cocktail, litle sparklers, That's it, We've in busi Danny Let's doit then, shall we? ‘Ted "Yeah, we'll get one a them vans, lie a burger van, but ‘ell bea bar, dead swish, We'll wear dickie bows. And well Pull up outside whatever house ordered the booze, and bish bash bosh. There you go. Danny Mate, we could make a mine, Scene Three 39 We could callit Bar Bros IY. Whose Barbara? Noy like Bar Brothers, my ‘That's shit name, know, but all names are shit when you come up with im takes a while, don't ito sink in. may We should cal it wine wine wine, like 999. “That's fuckin’ shit, Danny Better than barbros. Charlotte We should call it Drink Drivers Danny ‘That's wicked! What about Pissed Stop. Like pit stop, ‘Ted Definitely not calling it pissed sep. Ghartotte Wait. Wait... gotit., We should call t—Van Rouge, Like, Vin Rouge, ‘Ted Well, whatever, point is, 1 wanna do so much, That's What itis There's so much I wanna do, and when it his, Like, I swear, the other day, we had ital to come, didait we And now, Uhardly see you, but I love you you both, So much. And, F want you to be happy. You kno} Both of you, Together. Charlotte We love you too, Ted, You're lovely. Danny Oh... Van Rouge! ‘Ted Mate, see what was we saying earlier? Well, now's you chance, right? One chance you suid, well, here itis, Seize ‘moment, mate. I'sa beautiful morning. First day of there ‘of your life and all that. And like, al life is, is moments, right? Tiny little moments, and ifyou don't make the most the moment, then you ain't making the most of your life, Right34 Wasted He serambles to his fet, falls off the sofa, manages to hep the wh atthe right angle sas vt to spill any pee Just stetching me legs. The back soon. Right? Good. Right then. See you in abit Lovely, He staggers offtage. They sit therein sence fora moment Charlotte That vas weird. Danny ‘Teddy, innie Charlotte Danny Itsa good party Charlotte Yeah, i¢'salrigh Danny You feel good? Charlotte Yeah, 1m fucked, Dan, Danny Me too, Want some of Charlotte Yeah, go on then, Danny Amazing, innie, Charlotte Prey good, yeah Danay ‘Think t’s the best fag I ever smoked, Charloue tes defintely a contender Danny I feel great. Do you feel great? Charlotte “Teds having fun, ain't he? Danny Yeah, inn Charlotte 1's good. les you to se, Danny You hear him on the mic earlier? Charlotte Don't let Ted was on the mic? Danny Yeah, For ages as well Charlote Bless him, Danny He was prety good as it goes, 5? (Cigarete.) Scene Three 35 fe What wasit he used to call himsell? Tough Ted. tle Oh yeah, Tough Ted and Tone Deaf! Pd ten about that, Wy. Remember when it happened? ny Teal was there, wasn't he lotte Does he ever talk about it? ynny Not to me. ote Fuckin’ hel, ny Think itjust got him Charlotte Poor guy. Danny He ain't really come out since. Charlotte 1 don't blame him, Danny Bute's having it now, ain't he’ Charlotte 1's nice here, Nice just sitting here, init. Danny Look, Charloue, last night was great Charlotte Yeah, it was, Danny Ihcen thinking about tall day. Charlotte Yeah, Danny ‘There's so much Tvanna say to you. Charlotte Me to, Danny Bur don't know how. Charlotte Yeah, Tknow: Danny * Coz Thave, you know 've really changed,36 Wasted Charlotte Yeah, so have L Danny And it’s all gonna be different from now on, Charlotte Yeah. tes, Danny Gor ve seen the light, Charlote. I getit now. I was aa knob, but now I'm aright, I'm a fuckin’ ~ ma changed ‘man, I mean it, Charlotte Tinow you mean it Danny So, what I'm sayingis, you've got nothing 10 he Seared of. You can just et yourself go, And itl all be OK. ‘And you don’t have tobe angry with me anymore. Charlotte Yeah, tknoy, Danny Cor I love you, Charlote Gharlotte I'm leaving Dan, I'm going away. Danny What? Charlotte [booked light. Tha’ it Danny What? What d'you mean you're going away? Charlotte I'm gonna travel. Live abroad. Teach Danny How long fo Charlotte Year or wo, Danny What? When? Charlotte In ike five hours or something. Danny What? You joking? Charlotte No. No, !'m not joking. Danny Why? Charlotte Why? Goz I've been inthe same part of own my whole life. I cou live anywhere inthe world, anywhere, but Tye never even moved across the river want an adventure, Leould to go teach somewhere completely new. I could be helping people. Scene Three 37 Danny You can't go, Charlotte Why not? Danny Wel, you teach here, What about your job? Charlowe 1's sorted Danny What about your fat? Charlolte My sister's gonna take the 100m. Danny Well, whatabout me then? Charlotte Tean't waste anymore of my time waiting for someone else to make me happy. . Danny You don't have to wat Charlotte I need to do this, Dan, Danny Well, yait for you then. I'l wait for you, ‘Charlotte; cor Hove you and I wanna be/ Charlotte You won't wait Danny 1 fuckin’ will! wil Charlotte You won't, Dan. You say it because it seems like the thing to say. You wancit oe a big romantic gesture. But jtisnt, Pknow you too wel. You might miss me, after you've got home with some girl you met ata party and she's Something stupid, but you won't wait. Coz the thing is, Dan, you can't put anyone else's feelings in front of your own. 1's ‘not that you don't want to i's that you don't know how. Danny I do know how. Take as long as you need. I'l he here. And when you come back I'll prove it.I don't want no ‘one ese, There's no one else for me. F'l wait for you, Charlotte I don’t want to hear you saying things that sound nice coz you think I want to hear them. I want you to be honest. Danay Lam being honest,38 Wasted Gharlowe 10s OK to say—1'm gutted, and Pl miss you, That's enough, You don't have o tell me that you're yoni be heartbroken and fuckin’ celibate, corit's just not true. 1 know what you're like. I gave you so many chances, And {evety time you showed me that you didn't really care, Not really. Not when it came down tot Danny Don't go, Charlot. I don’t want you 1 go. Charlotte Come with me then, Danny What? Charlotte Go pack a bag, get your passport Il meet you atthe airport Let's do itifyou want o, Dan, Lets go, Me and you. Panay What, now? Charlotte Yeah. Danny Well, viously I can’t just, I mean, you know its ~ The band. We're a unit. I can’ejust leave, And works 1 mean ‘my name's on the rota til next month, And I gota feed ‘Tibbles while mum's at my aunte's I can‘. just go like that, Tean', Charlotistands up, tarts getting her things together They sand ooking a eachother he goes obs her she mares aay hss his face and walk offtae. He stands there looking ie hes ben hick ‘the gus. She doesn’ look ack. He dans afer her wnt she's ‘gow. ‘Ted Where's Charlote? Danny Gone. ‘Ted What do you mean, gone? Danny mean gone, mate, Ted What, gone home, or-? Danny Nab, like gone, gone away. Ted Gone away? Scene Three 39 Danny She's booked light She's of, mate, Taveling, Bees gone. Shc fun Leb Med Fick ee tie Mec You aight ay Ye “edd, mate Danny Wesalight. 1s nota thing Ted You mherto way? Danny No Pele eet Danny What? Nah, Nab, Toul. Ted Why not? Danny Wha ke, go with he? Ted Yeah, Why noe? 17 Wel you know ego thi gg next week. You Dea yee ae dere ed You're aking, ight? Dany No Ted Mate Ln beng fay rgh? But Thonn yous agus gerne tecice mn perpen says oma signe tessa enna ome Iai bere ere! Hse iy Se alone egies oben fad yout been tig yt Danny So? ‘Ted So? Danny. I'm sorry, but your band’s no good, mate Pm sorry. But, mate your band’s fuckin’40 Wasted Danny What? ‘Ted I'm sorry, mate Danny Prick ‘Ted True though, innit? Danny Fuck off ‘Ted Mate, just this morning you're chewing my ear off about this gil. 'm just sat there, eying to have a peaceful bees, give alte time to remembering our mate, and there YoUare, Charlotte this, Charlotte that; I've changed Ted, ve changed. Twant more. I've had an epiphany? Danny So? Ted So-what? Danny So, shat you saying? ‘Ted I'm saying, thar told you, Dan, [told you you had to ‘ake your chance. Danny Did you know she was leaving? ‘Ted You know what your problem is, mate? You just around, expecting life to happen for you. Waiting fort all to 4ustland in your fuckin’ lap. You've never filed, Dan, Now ve never fuckin’ failed. You've never tried, You need to fuckin’ try at east once, Dan, rally uckis go for it and ty, Danny What you taking about? ‘Ted T'm talking about sacrifice, Dan. What life's ll about ‘You gota grow up, mate, Put yourself second, You know, You don't have aright to happiness, Dan, You can't jus you koow, get it. 1s hard, innit life e's tough. And loving someone, that’s hard too. I's not meant i he roses are blow Jobs forever. I's fuckin’ hard work, It's commitment mac {es knowing the kind of day she's had just by hearing the way her key turns in the door. Danny Alvight, Te. Jesus. Alsight Seene Three 41 What? P'm serious. you just need to makea decision, fuckin’ stick cit, By decision? Tha’ allicis, Dan, You decide. You ay o yourself 1 fe hisgir. fuck love his gil and then, ia couple goby and don’ el the same no more, wel fuk ute you remember your decison. Thats what Fm ng about happiness snot geting eaaly whi Jou Bocwhencrer jou fckn want wi he lot pone Mfr's about being alsghe with what you hae. ust ha aval ti Danny smokes cig, Td ans his head back gant Wer ed You should goalie her, mace is Pete Tm well happy. of ain! eee Id AnT?Ob Danny Coe sn happy, mate. ain mean malig, {de mean getal cir cre abou ba Tod elly wha iis igh? 1 thee hing a take Reka Spd hsp ike fou tom mpl42 Wasted aad Tiny Job: That. wake up inthe morning ai eel sick about my life. But Tike it when Taee toy Sarg Ue me colour parked next io each other. ke solange @Baretteson cold days, Hike it when someone maken net im clea just how Tike it, withobt me having tosh, Tike irae Sally ahs with her mouth fl. ike quis show 7 Fuck Tike it when Sally's brother inviees me round! o Brack therughy; even though Ihate the fuckin rugty cont items he's tying, Know what mean? Do you, Das? De ens know what I mean? 1g St tre, Danny thinks abou what Tel has aid, Ted seems a it Spet oer theotbur They anche a cigar Danny _ Come on then, Ted; you buying me breakfast or wha Chorus Three One Everything was Two Brighten One There wat no more exhaustion Three ‘The moments were all glorious, an full of importance ‘Two But now your jaw’s clenched, Three You feel sick Two And abitlike you're One Falling, Three As your One Night Chorus Three 43 Steps On the oes oftheir Moming ~ These Other People (On the street Walking, People who've slept and got up. The rain's Pouring, ree You (el the guilt chasing you down, One Your souls Three Roaring ‘Two That there must be a way tobe ‘Three Lifeina cy ofawkwardness ~ One We should have been monoliths, Three Could have had every ‘Two We know we've got more to give One Our skin holds our bones in, our organs are moaning, Three Cozit feels like ‘Two Nothing means nothing, Three Bur we need to feel All. Something, One Three friends, nce deep in the weekend,44 Wasted ‘Two In their own ways, they're all steeped in pretence One And what they want's Three More, ‘Two. Something real they can Three Touch One Well you only know whats enough, ‘Three When you know what's more than enough, ‘Scene Four re omc. dh abs Cas oan frond of them, No food, a ‘Ted You hear what that woman, bus? Danny What woman? Te Saal orkid with her and we naked pat an the id looke at me, and the woman put her haloes Re ce and said ‘don’t look at the man’, ee a Danny Pick Ted Wermus look a right fright. Danny You look lovely, babe, ‘Ted Prick, Danny You think you could eat? ‘Ted Worth ary, ain'cit? Danny Yeah, S'pose. Ted feel horrible Danny Me oo, ‘Ted Was a good night, though, wan't? Danny Yeah, mate, Great night, id when we got off the Scene Four 45 I do feet horrible though, They drink ther te, Te looks at menu, Danny picks up the oaks through it What's happening inthe real world, chen? ny flicking though the pages) Ob, you know, war, dead lian, fear-mongering about religious fundamentalism, haller that cheated on his wife, someone's tits, couple iminally insane schoo! children, Parrot found in Putney at can rap the fist verse of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune, z Ted Usual then. Danny I hate reading the paper. Don't matter where you {go in the world, does it, everywhere's fucked. Everything's fucked. ‘Ted Pie’n’ mash? That be 100 much, you reckon? Danny Makes you think though, dnnit? We might think we got it had here like, chink we're struggling, but we're fine. Look at us. We're fine. Compared to some ofthe shit going on, This is luxury, mate; you know what mean? ‘Ted Probably ist90 much, innit? Danny “There's always someone worse offthan you though, ain't cheve? ‘Ted Depends how big the portions are Is pose. Danny Ics always safer to look around and say, no matter hhow fucked Tam, it could be worse ‘Ted Look, that guy's go a jacket potato, Maybe tha’s what need. Beans though? Couldn't manage beans. Danny And that’s, innit? That's the whole point? As long. as you think that, why would you risk it? ‘Ted fin doub, head for the classe,46 Wasted Scene Four 47 Danny Changing things, mean. Making things beter yeah, we went fora couple of pins, then vatched a fim, “ed Full English shelf ea Da Wht ur REAP Danny (il oaing through the paper) Y mean, this can't be ftoDans fora. yeah? Yea, I know! sen him all © what sl been for Te I butyou Know ievbeen a hile snce- Oh ep, no, 1 ‘Ted _That’sit, mate, That's the one. Stick to what you know, the curtains, [know. Course. I'm sorry... yep. No, ch? Don't break titi xed. Fall English no beans Wel Pl valk up now then. yep, OK on the cores extra hash brown. Bosh, You ready to order yet or what? J, won't be, Alright then, babe. Yep, love you too. Yep. Danny I could go meet her couldn't I? At the airport. Just ee eS sitand havea coffe with her or something? T dans havete et onthe plane, Just gobe there, Show her. That's showing 7}, mate, I gota go. Sorry: Ise, you know. Duy cal nny Yeah, yeah, All good : Ted What you having? Youll be alight, wont ya? Danay Til have what you're having may Fine mate, done sly ‘Ted_Nope. No, you don't Lain’ having you throwing a You gonna, you be about later? Maybe see you in the strop coz I didn get you no bubble and squeak. pub? Danny Ijust can‘ seem to getit right with hex Danny Yeah, give usa shout, ‘Ted You're more fussy than you think, you know. ‘Ted Alright, mate. Thad a great night, Dan, We should do Danny No, 1'm not. nore often, feels like i's been ages. You know what I Ted Tonlaoes? a Danny Fuckin’ hate tomatoes ey ee ene Ted si Danny Everything Ido, Falwaysend up the cunt ess aba Ted White or brown? ‘Ted You're my best mate, Dan, ‘Ted Imeantit, earlier. Danny What? Danny Ain't so bad yourself, mate Ted Brea. ‘ed. Look 'm gonna go follow my gelftiend round IKEA forthe nex ou fuckin hours, [fel ike Tus swallowed a Danny fel horrible planetarium or something, Tm fuckin’ monet, and Pm ‘Ted (phone rnging) Sorry, mate, I's Sal 1 gots, hold on fon go and bold Sall’s hand and look at eurains and {tna coupe se eet one haven't heard om hi wd toothbrush holders and lanpahads and it's gonna be to) Helo darlin. You alright? Oh, lovely, Gre Yeah fuckin’ tag But Fm gonna do k, Cor thats what she needs Yeah in fine thanks babe. ust inthe xf now, yeas met @o, Know what! mean?48 Wasted Danny Planetarium? ‘Ted Dan, what the fuck are you doing here? Danny What? Tes Sat here in the same old fuckin’ caffagain, FaMY UP untila minute ago, mat, twas good. enough for you I 9a Ral her, Dam ita what you wan, Mae the decision, and go for it ~ DaneyTdonthoow, Te. ont know. aight, done war owt me know wham ding You saa PII fore you gto IKEA ‘Ted What? Nah, I'm done mate, Danny Suit yourselt, 'm fuckin done, ‘Ted Later on then, Dan, Danny Later on, Ted, Si ther fo a momen, aring ahead, sounds ofthe caf gt seal : cf realy luda (ing atheadoand ep tag fe pill. Wines. * peomenanes: Danny You're acy realy Uy hav lied nw you would have us got an boring lik the restof us You wouldnt nore reinsenGt 82 old enough ose your mate become the Manto with a drugs lisp, looking lke he's un foc) Tani in his mouth, nodding to himelt Ins Sramin Vinyl bomber jacket, "a Scene Four 49 er a go, they all grew up nicely, didn't they? They went fo uni and reinvented themselves and now they'se tors, replacing people's limbs in war zones, or they're fessional cricketers or theyre working in the fuckin’ iy, ing aton on coke every night and fuckin’ women that uldn' even look at me it was hanging in a gallery you're lucky. Coz it you was sill here, you'd have a habit; # lepression, or anxiety auacks, oral three, and you'd be king secret plans to run away and start again ina new Hick’ country where no one knows hove much afa fuckin" Preck you are, or, you'd be up to your neck in debe, fuckin’ a Dire that thinks you're a dick and checking your Twitter Ererycwentytwo seconds to seeif anyone's aid anything Shout your fuckin shit band, We used t be the fuckin’ bys, Mate. Now, the highlight of my day is taking a good shit, Tiss her already. I never meant vo take her for granted, Tony. But you do, dont you. It's like ai, You never know how much ic means to you tll you're drowning. And dhe 1FTcould turn around and be the Danny that T wane to be, the Danny that ives in my head, then shit she'd never sop smiling Buc the thing i, mate, {ain't that guy, Pm this gus Alone inthe caff withthe horrors coming on, will int ge ‘up off the las pill done, wishing T could be braver atl jvet sweep her off her feet. But she's gone, ain't she. She's had enough, off she fuckin’ trois, She's the only person that ever mace me happy, Tony, the only person that ever really Knew ‘me, and she thinks F'm a cunt And alright I probably am. Buc who fuckin’ n't? You were a unt. Who realy, deep own inside, isn't a complete cunts Ae least I'm ready to ty 1 want tobe on sage infront of thousands of seaming fans, dling something fuckin’ great and smiling like vs no Nig deal. Butevery time Ist down to practice my guitar Teed ‘up fantasising about sell-out shows while I play the same50° Wasted ity vif heen playing for years And you know what, its Kind of the same with her. ‘And as itis T gor nothing going on. Not really, Ted thinks 1 ses damourous lifestyle, but is all ull Thang out SPibhany every other fuckin’ day, then as soon 28 [gore {couple beers in me I'm back to square one, fame conversations I've had a thousand dimes over eo Gexgping around looking for someone to give me aline and I on't want to be this man anymore Fins ie a few hours~ Tbe staring at her name on my phone, t00 late to call, coz she'l be gone, ishing I could show her that when I'm with her Tfealar ‘ickn’ zeal like, not pretending nothing, just who Lane | {Reltike Can be the man I want to be. dT do want te be ne fuckin ‘And then Illcatch my reflection in between the letters of her name, face like a car crash, and I'll make the same uckig Panett make every morning Tell myself im changing ‘things. Tha this it pat then I suppore, if we could all be the men ve wanted to Pe, this calf would be fll of secre agents and movie sean, wou i? As that guy drinking milk and tbat guy eating beans with no teeth, and tal ofus, regretting the decisions we never had the gue, tomate. Chorus Four 51 Ml she's gone, She's fuckin’ gone, you're lucky really, horus Four And s, We have music, Two. We have lov, One We have each other, Three Bucie enongh. ‘Two So we get ruined, taking drugs o feel, One And it feels All Good, ‘Two Coz in these vacant sub-day days that turn the blood, One You touch my face, Three You wake me up, One Welove this city it raised us up, ‘Two Told us to brace ourselves against the Rood, Three Ittaught us ll we Two Know, One And thisisall we came to Two Show = ‘Three That times are sran Two Asall:imes are, ‘Three Our minds are strained, * Two Our eyes52 Wasted Three Wine datk, One Our lives are played like dice or cards, ‘Three But our hears are good, andl wear their scars ‘Two We look up, but there’s no One Stars, ‘Two. Just streetlights burning down on broken cars One Andin vs, churning guts, Three Unspoken Two Trust, One Closed eyes with our minds ‘Two Opened up— ‘One The ole mantra leaned that soaks us up ~ Three 1's best if'you don't hope for much. Scene Five Charlotte is siting nthe park, lecking at Tonys tree. Danny eal yp, ss her. She’ sergeng frm bt of shy, he's carrying a can of K cider t's lal afterncon Danny Charlotie? Charlotte Alright, Dan, Danny What you doing here? I thought you was Charlotte I come to say goodbye. Danny What time's the Hight? Charlotte missed it Danny What? Gharlotte Teleaves io an hour Scene Five 58 ny So, you aint going? tharlotte No, Lain’, may That's great Charlotte, low come? es lling 0 joint ote Loads of reasons. Mainly coz I'm fucked, and the ‘Wea of customs was making me wanna be sick, Honestly, I feel like my fae is doing interpretive dance, Danny 1'sballt. 3 Charlotte What, The Nuterackhead? Danny No, ballet. Lighting te jin (Charlotte 1 ain't been here all year, you know? Danny No? Charlotte No. Danny He wouldn't mind, Charlotte And 1 was thinking, the best thing Ican do to celebrate his memory, is make something of my life. Know what I mean, Dan? Danny Yeah, for real. Definitely Charlotte I'm gonna go hack to school and teaeh. Properly Gor Tove them kids, And they deserve so much more. They really do, Last ching they need is another person walking out on them. I'm gonna put all my energy into it, Dan, Pm, gonna be a teacher. A really fuckin’ good one, Danny Yeah, you should do that, Charloste. yy Yeah, y ‘aking ou some coke and doing a ump off the corner of «cand. He offers ue to Chaclote, She ges for i Charlotte Or something. I don't know. Something54 Wasted Chorus Five 55 Danny Yeah. I think you're right, And lke, I know what you mean, coz, Ebeen thinking too, Pm gonna do it you know? With the band, and al hat, Cm gonna fuckin doi es itveait ea aetna T's gonna be huge. mny Coz, you know, 'm changing things, Iam. I'll show i, Charlo, I'm sorting myself out. ynny Does make you think though don it, day ike Charlone Yeah? y Doe sh Danny Yeah. Hard work, i ati, it Just gotta keep working i can it, Lam, Tm sorting myself out Charlotte That's right, ye i oe tharlotte Me to0, Dan. Definitely Danny Practice init, six hoursa day Straight. And Tm thinking about a martial art too, For the discipline, ny (urpriad) Buck. Charlot Oh yea Charlotte What? Danny “Yeah, the breathing and that, the posture. I chink I Danny Lee fucked, you know. might sare taining, Charlotte (apa) Me 10, fuckin’ wasted. ‘Charlotte Yeah, you should, That'd be good for you. They have anther bump each. Sig some wish, Danny pus his Danny Yeah. Or yoga or something, ym around he Charlote. Yeah? Danny Yeah, Might start going classes. Gharlowte* Yoga, yeah? Mwo.nd Three Something, He pases th jon Suis rom ican. Lines up nce ; Antonie OE eee ‘Three Then old yourself your dreams int Danny And I'm gonna cut down on the siffand that. Cut One ond Two Nothing down on allofit. Stop wasting my time. Know whac less Get ay sie together ees One nd Three More Gharlowe Yeah. Meoo One ‘Than just something that came before you shook them off, ‘Two The thing is though, your dreams are Danny And you reckon, you're sticking around, could I, like, another time maybe, take you out? Like, we ould take peice nee things slow, couldn’ we? Ifyou're staying, there's no hurry Reece eee is there. Next week, the week after? Two Mate, Charlotte I don't think so, Dan, ‘Three# You do deserve everything you dare to want,56 Wasted One But you'll never One and two Fly ‘Two "Til you're prepared 10 ‘Twoand Three Jump, One $0 here's the thing then ~ Three Here's the closing ~ One Once, Two Thaebreaking wave was jst frozen raindrop Three Waiting fr its cloud vo open and ltt fal, One $01 it call your name ‘Two That thing inside you screaming, Three There is AL More Two Toyou than your routine One We came here to share the feeling ‘Three “That uni you tive che things you're dreaming ‘Two Th One Private, behind Two Eyclids— Three That's the point —we can "I stay to speak it One All the things you hope in secret you could be = All You are— Two Wemeanic ‘Three Whatever moves you - you must chase it~ One Stand before it~ mate—embrace it Chorus Five 57 ‘Iwo Life wants you —it beckons - makes itself immense — Three Respect it~ tak One Connect and face it. ‘Three Your life is for AML Much more One Than getting All Wasted. We see projections of supermarket ses, pubs, peopl in a party, thon Ps, revols, sles, burning cars el, interspersed withthe Uiee eharacters, busing cigoretes, ling on the flor ofthe la, watching Ail time-lapse footage of Landon, pizza Baws, traffic ams, marke. alls, quew in the bark, then Ted, IKEA, pushing tol Traded up wit loads of masve fli pack boxes, struggling, Egypt after the relation, Tonys tree, kids ina classroom, sual ficker of like when you tir ately of witha remote, goes tof tine, thew a dot, then licker back on and there's «camera iid an IK ox, Teel opens, tarts pulling ou planks of wed, i flickers, the Incase, back to Wackness Music il playing, th characters are back on tage inter fst postions, its Monday agai, nothing changes, Tel’ sila work, Charlottes stil in the eassoom, Danny i ill p sang ves wit his mates. The look tired. Lonely End,