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Tyler Reinhold
Writing II
De Piero
February 18, 2015
M aking M oves
Out in the world there are millions of articles, books, embarrassing love letters, and

Commented [ZD1]: Cool title.

Commented [ZD2]: Ive produced a lot of these

blogs. Some of these works can be on the same exact topic, yet surprisingly different in their
content and even their genre, usually caused by the authors moves. Writers use different moves
and methods to reach a specific audience and accomplish their purpose in their writing, such as

Commented [ZD3]: Yes, exactly.

the authors of the academic text Theater and Therapy: How Improvisation Informs the Analytic
Hour and also of the mainstream article What Improv Can Teach Your Team About Creativity
and Collaboration. Both articles use different moves to explain the benefits of improvisational
comedy and acting while also demonstrating the importance of studying writing moves.
First, I must define a few things to ease up any confusion later in the essay. M oves are
what a writer uses to achieve their goal. These moves are similar to those used in sports, dancing,
art, and almost everything else in the world that has a goal or purpose. Writers use specific
moves to explain topics, present ideas, or just be entertaining. M oves are a great way for the
writer to engage the audience, put them on their back, and carry them to the finish line. Next,

Commented [ZD4]: I want a lot more specificity here,

Tyler. What moves, exactly? And how are they using them?
Are they doing it well? Not?
Remember: your thesis statement needs to take a
positionit needs to state what your argument is and how
youre going to be supporting it.
Commented [ZD5]: I have mixed feelings about this.
On the one hand, I really like how youre making this clear
from the get-godefining terms early on is smart.
However, Im wondering if you need to insert the I
language heredo you think you could just come out and
say it?

improvisation is a form of live theatre in which the plot, characters and dialogue of a game,
scene or story are made up in the moment (what is improv 1). Improvisation, also known as
improv, is made up right on the spot and highly encourages teamwork, creativity, and overall

Commented [ZD6]: Sentence 1 to Sentence 2 --- howd

you get there? Im not seeing the connection.

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fun. In the two articles presented, moves are used by the authors to explain how improvisation
can used to benefit people on a multitude of levels.
The first text Theater and Therapy: How Improvisation Informs the Analytic Hour was
written by both Rosalind Chaplin Kindler, M .F.A. and Arthur A. Gray, Ph.D., both very well

Commented [ZD7]: Im wondering if your Intro might

benefit from riffing off of improv a bitwhat it is,
why/how its written about in different ways

educated scholars and highly academic writers. The genre of this piece is would best be
considered as a highly academic research journal entry. Research was conducted by both writers
and explained and used in the article. The overall tone of the article was very professional. It was

Commented [ZD8]: This is a bit fluffy to me, Tyler.

Say what you have to say once, then keep the ball rolling.

serious, offering little giggle room (rather than wiggle room) while creating a very didactic
reading experience. By the end of it, I understood how improvisation contributes significantly
to the psychoanalytic process and is an inherent aspect of every analytic encounter (Kindler
264).
The conventions and rhetorical devices in the Kindler and Gray article definitely helped

Commented [ZD9]: Id like you to take a step back and

think: what do I want to accomplish in this paragraph? That
should be previewed in the topic sentenceit controls the
whole paragraph and allows your reader to anticipate
whats coming up.

to define the genre. The article is full of scholarly, academic words and phrasings, a typical
device used in the genre. The layout of the piece is conventional to the genre, with a large title
and multiple sub-headings later in the writing. In the beginning of the text there is a short
summary or abstract of the article, giving a brief synopsis of what to come. There are also
footnotes placed throughout the paper, to help the reader with definitions or sometimes for the
writer to make a citation. Additionally at the end of the article there is a reference page that is
about a mile long. This is a very classic convention of the research journal article genre.
The second article What Improv Can Teach Your Team About Creativity and
Collaboration was written by another pairing, Ken Blanchard and Scott Blanchard. This article
would best fit into the genre of self-help and how-tos. The article casually gives some advice to
business owners and managers on how to improve the work environment through the help of

Commented [ZD10]: So all of these conventions are a

part of the genrebut. so what? What does this have to
do with your analysis and comparison with the other piece?
I think you might need to evaluate whats being done
well/poorly and for whom. Remember: this paper is an
argument, not simply a description.
(PS: I love ya, homieplease dont be upset with me here.
Just trying to help you out.)

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improvisational comedy. Employees would learn to say yes, and (Blanchard 1) rather than
the traditional no used in most work spaces. Great steps were offered to show how well
improvisation exercises would help the businesses, and the colloquial language made it easy to
understand. This is clearly different than the highly academic Kindler and Gray article. This
article was aiming to help, but in a very casual writing style that is easy to read and comprehend.
The conventions and rhetorical features of Blanchard article are very different from the
Kindler and Gray entry, yet surprisingly similar. The Blanchard article comes from a popular

Commented [ZD11]: I want more specifics.

website called Fast Company, where browsers can find interesting facts, self-help, and also
company improvement lessons. The article is in a simple and easy layout. It is basically split into
two parts. The first part is a short explanation of the context of the piece, what improvisation is,
the purpose of the improvisation, and also a couple explanations of different exercises. The
second part is a list of the three key takeaways (Blanchard 1) that the business owners took
away from the experience. The article contains only a couple headings, a usual convention of the
genre, along with an alluring title. The title also happens to be in all capital letters, sometimes a
choice made by writers of mainstream articles. The language in this piece is very simple and
colloquial. Some words like newbie (Blanchard 1) were used in the article, which would
definitely not be used in the scholarly Kindler and Gray article. Compared to Kindler and Gray,

Commented [ZD12]: Youre switching gears here from

the format to the language used. Is that a. time for new
paragraph that I smell??

Blanchards writing is simple and presented in plain English. The piece is simply attempting to
be informative in a pretty plain way, no allusions or confusing words, sometimes occasional
humor, but mainly just plain English. The Kindler and Gray article was full of large words that
were hard to understand at times. This Blanchard piece also does not have any form of references
or footnotes of any kind, very different from Kindler and Gray. However, both articles aim at

Commented [ZD13]: OK, so what kind of rhetorical

impact does this have on you as a reader?

teaching its reader. Blanchard comes across as more of a hip or cool (De Piero-esque) teacher,

Commented [ZD14]: Thats right!

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while Kindler and Gray are didactic and sometimes pompous and hard to decipher in their
writing.
Just like the famed basketball player M ichael Jordan, or the King of Pop M ichael
Jackson, the writers of our two articles use very precise and specific moves to fill their purpose

Commented [ZD15]: This came across as distracting to

me.

and reach an objective. In the Kindler and Gray article the biggest move they make is their use of
research in their paper. Just as Dana Lynn Driscoll presents in Introduction to Primary Research:
Observations, Surveys, and Interviews, Kindler and gray use research to learn about something
new that can be confirmed by others andeliminatebiases in the process (Driscoll 154). This
particular move was game winning. It was the backbone to the article and helped them support
their ideas. The authors also created a highly academic reading experience. One could easily feel

Commented [ZD16]: Why was it game winning? To

whom? How, exactly, did it help them support their ideas?

the difference of the reading between this and the Blanchard article. This was created by the
layout of the piece and also the vocabulary and phrasing in the text, both very strong moves. The
purpose of these authors was to inform other psychoanalysts and scholars, the likely audience, of
the benefits of improvisation to psychoanalytical process. This piece was definitely aimed at
scholars and people in the psychology field. The article would not appeal to your average Joe,
possibly because they may not even understand the dense language of the text. This is likely
what the readers of Kindler and Gray come to expect from them; dense highly academic reading
usually on a topic involving psychology.
Kindler and Gray used the strong moves of observations and interviews in their article as
well. Both of these moves are discussed in Dana Driscolls article and are heavily praised in the
field of research. The observations in the article are usually accounts of the patients reactions to
the writers therapeutic methods or questions. The writers would record their observations which,
have lead to some of the most important scientific discoveries in human history according to

Commented [ZD17]: Not a complete sentence it

needs to be to use a semicolon here.

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Driscoll (Driscoll 160). Additionally Kindler and Gray used interviews in their article, citing
specific quotes from some of their patients. The detailed words and responses helped to gain
specifics from the therapy sessions. The interviews were greatly used to learn in-depth
information from a person forprimary research as Driscoll would explain (Driscoll 164). The
quotes from the interviews allowed the reader to be more in the moment of the therapy session
and better grasp the concepts presented.
Blanchards main move is the lack of moves. The two Blanchards play the slow approach
and let their target come to them. The writing of the piece is very straightforward and gets right

Commented [ZD18]: OK, so how about from a readers

perspectivewhat kind of impact does the use of
interviews have?

Commented [ZD19]: Hmmm.. this sounds interesting,

but I dont know what you mean. Its pretty vague.

to the point. The headings make it easy to find the main arguments and uses of improvisation.
One other main move which Blanchard uses, is rhetorical questions. M any of these are present in
the text, and Blanchard always answers. This article was aimed towards anyone with a certain
team. It seems that the article speaks mainly on behalf of businesses, but these improvisation
practices and exercises can certainly be applied to any group or team. Blanchards main purpose
is to give a tip to team leaders on how to improve their work setting and environment with
simple and easy, fun improvisation exercises. Blanchard also places some personal experience in
the beginning of the article, speaking how this really helped the environment of their work,
which is a strong move, similar to Kindler and Grays research move. This also can relate to the
observation factor used in Karen Driscolls article. Blanchard recorded the observations of the
benefits of improvisation in their own company. This is a great persuasive move that shows the
reader the great benefits of improv. Blanchard readers most likely come to expect informative
articles on the topic of business and self-improvement.
Blanchards article does however start a conversation (Rosenberg 212) which Karen
Rosenberg would explain is a very important aspect of writing in Reading Games: Strategies for

Commented [ZD20]: OK, I think this is worth riffing

off of. Why might this author have done that? Why in the
beginning, specifically? What kind of impact did that have
on you as a reader?

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Reading Scholarly Sources. Also related to Rosenbergs article, Blanchard did heavily consider
the audience. This is very important to Rosenberg because it gets the audience involved. The

Commented [ZD21]: How/why?

reader must know that the writer is keeping them in mind (Rosenberg 213) and attempting to
grab their attention. Overall, Blanchard does use some good moves like starting a conversation
and considering the audience. Both these moves help to engage the audience and catch their
attention.

Commented [ZD22]: I think you should bring this up

earlier on I was wondering how/why a lot as I read.

Non-academic pieces, like Blanchards, can definitely accomplish some of what Kindler
and Gray cannot. Blanchard is more appealing to a lot more people. The reading is easy, and

Commented [ZD23]: Get specific in your topic

sentences, Tyler.

quick to understand, with minimal what? moments. Non-academic pieces can connect easier to
readers also, by drawing from their personal experiences or even by presenting their opinions
more openly. Humor also draws many readers in, which is a hug convention of non-academic
writing. However, academic writing like Kindler and Gray can better inform people. They backup all of their claims with sources, and they also have the credentials to show their mastery of
this topic. Far more information and actual facts are presented in academic texts, rather than in
funny Buzzfeed top ten lists. Audiences who are not interested in the academic subject can easily
be bored of it and find it too difficult to read. The non-academic article appeals to a wide range
of people, those not incredibly educated, and those with a grocery list of credentials. Sometimes
even Bill Gates needs to research how to improve M iccrosofts creativity and collaboration.
Sometimes it is hard to see, but moves are used by writers of every genre. Writers are
attempting to appeal to a certain audience and achieve their purpose. In Theater and Therapy:
How Improvisation Informs the Analytic Hour by Rosalind Chaplin Kindler, M .F.A. and Arthur
A. Gray, Ph.D and in What Improv Can Teach Your Team About Creativity and Collaboration
by Ken and Scott Blanchard, it is evident that although these writing styles and genres are

Commented [ZD24]: Was this a big part of your nonacademic piece? Could you weave it into your paper more?
(I think your paper would benefit from more textual
evidence too.)

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completely different, moves must be used in order to achieve the purpose of the piece and to
inform their audience of the many benefits of Improvisational acting and exercises.

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Works Cited
Blanchard, Scott, and Ken Blanchard. "What Improv Can Teach Your Team About Creativity
And Collaboration." Fast Company. N.p., 12 Nov. 2013. Web. 18 Feb. 2015.
<http://www.fastcompany.com/3021450/what-improv-can-teach-your-team-aboutcreativity-and-collaboration>.
Driscoll, Dana. "Introduction to Primary Research: Observations, Surveys, and Interviews."
(n.d.): n. pag. Web.
Kindler, Rosalind, and Arthur Gray. "Theater and Therapy: How Improvisation Informs the
Analytic Hour." Psychoanalytical Inquiry, n.d. Web.
<http%3A%2F%2Fweb.b.ebscohost.com%2Fehost%2Fpdfviewer%2Fpdfviewer%3Fs
id%3D28d2471f-d267-4229-934e1f45fb816de9%2540sessionmgr198%26vid%3D6%26hid%3D109>.
Rosenberg, Karen. "Reading Games: Strategies for Reading Scholarly Sources." (n.d.): n. pag.
Web.
"What Is Improv? Austin Improv Comedy Shows, Classes The Hideout Theatre." Austin
Improv Comedy Shows Classes The Hideout Theatre RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Feb.
2015. <http://www.hideouttheatre.com/about/what-is-improv>.

Did Not Meet

Met Expectations

Exceeded

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Expectations

Thesis Statement
Use of Evidence from
Articles
Use of Course Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structure
Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

Expectations

Tyler,

Other Comments
To bump this paper up to the next level, I think that you
might want to get super-clear on what it is, exactly, that
youre arguing. In what ways is the one piece more effective
than the other? How is it accomplishing what its
accomplishing?
Providing more textual evidence would help you substantiate
your claims. Whenever Im wondering how? why?,
providing textual support would likely answer that question
from me.
Youve got a cool, casual voice in your writing and you can
maintain that as long as you back it up with support. I think
that s hould be your #1 goal moving forward.
Als o: remember that this is a thesis-driven argument. I want
to be able to see exactly what youll be arguing in this paper
and what youll be basing that argument on.
Keep up the good work and dont be the least bit
discouraged. Youre right where you should beyoure
improving.
Z
B