The Pros and Cons of Proposing

By
Jonathan Burnett

INT. RESTAURANT
A DIAMOND RING.
We pull back slowly, as we hear two voices talking. COLT, a
well dressed 25 year old and the MAITRE D, 45 and dressed in
a tux.
MAITRE D
Its a very nice ring sir.
COLT
It wasnt cheap, but I think itll
be worth the investment.
Colt shuts the ring away into its box, and puts it into his
jacket pocket.
COLT (CONTD)
Can you do me a favor? Can you
have your pianist play his most
romantic song at 8?
MAITRE D
It shouldnt be a problem. Ill
tell him right away.
The Maitre D turns to leave, Colt grabs his wrist to stop
him.
COLT
Sorry to be a bother, but can you
get the violinists to play along as
well?
MAITRE D
Of course sir.
Thank you

COLT

MAITRE D
Best of luck.
The Maitre D nods and turns on his heel leaving Colt behind.
We see our first glimpse of the Restaurant. Its
distinguished. Upper class. A place for special occasions
and the well to do.
Colt looks down at his WATCH, then looks up and sees
BRITTANY. She is also in her mid-twenties and she is
looking lovely. She sits alone at a table.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

But instead of sitting next to Brittany, Colt walks over to

a table of four adjacent to her.
The table is populated by two couples, they look to be in
their mid-fifties.
COLT
Can you do me a favor?
CRANKY MAN
What do you need? Money?
No.

COLT
I was wondering--

Colt pulls out his phone.

And holds it out.

COLT (CONTD)
Can you film something for me?
One of the ladies, well call her the MOTHERLY DIRECTOR OF
PHOTOGRAPY, looks at the phone.
MOTHERLY DOP
Ive got one similar, I should be
able to figure it out.
COLT
Okay great-MOTHERLY DOP
What do you need it for?
COLT
Im going to ask her-Colt indicates Brittany sitting alone
COLT
--to marry me tonight. And I was
wondering if you could film it?
MOTHERLY DOP
Oh! Of course!
The Motherly DOP turns her attention to the others at the
table.
MOTHERLY DOP (CONTD)
Bill you get your phone out too,
and we can both film it--

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

Thank you.

COLT

Colt hands the lady his phone.

MOTHERLY DOP
Youll do great!
Colt smiles and turns back towards his table.
MOTHERLY DOP (CONTD)
Bill stop fussing and pull out your
phone. Debbie get your phone out
too, you can take stills....
Motherly DOPs directions continue strong, but slowly fade
into the background.
Colt walks over to Brittany and sits down across from her.
Their food is already in front of them. Brittany is picking
at it.
BRITTANY
This sucks.
Excuse me?

COLT

BRITTANY
The food is nasty.
COLT
Nasty? That entree cost 50 dollars!
BRITTANY
That doesnt make it taste good.
WAITRESS
How is everything over here?
Colt quickly changes gears.
COLT
Its wonderful.
WAITRESS
Is there anything else you need?
COLT
Yes. Can we have a bottle of your
most expensive wine?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

WAITRESS
Will a Chateau Pauillac do?
COLT
Is that your most expensive bottle?
Yes sir.

WAITRESS

COLT
Then thatll be perfect.
The Waitress leaves.
BRITTANY
Can you honestly tell a difference
between those wines?
COLT
No. But its the price that
matters. Its expensive therefore
its special.
The Waitress returns with the bottle of wine.
the bottle, and pours it into their glasses.

She uncorks

Colt takes a savoring sip.

COLT
Actually. I take that back, this is
quite good.
Brittany takes a sip from her glass.
BRITTANY
Hmm. So this is what it tastes
like to be rich?
COLT
I could get used to it.
Brittany smiles, but shes not as convinced. Colt checks
his watch, and then takes a quick peek at his camera crew.
They smile back.
Colt looks to the Pianist. Still playing.
Brittany tries another bite.
BRITTANY
Rich people have weird taste.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

COLT
Thats what you get for trying
something with Caviar.
Colt takes a sip of his wine, though this time he does so
without savoring it.
Brittany begins to talk to Colt, but Colt cannot seem to pay
attention. Colt checks his watch again. Its 7:58. Soon.
BRITTANY
Its funny. The more they charge,
the smaller the portion. It seems
a little backwards to me. Maybe
when we are done here we can treat
ourselves to something, I dont
know, more normal? Like ice cream?
Colt sips his wine. The music changes.
People in the restaurant sense the change in atmosphere.
They are drawn towards Brittany and Colt. There is a sense
of anticipation. They can feel it. Something is going to
happen with this couple.
Colt quickly pours himself another glass of wine and knocks
it down quickly, and before he can second-guess himself
shoves the table aside.
If anyone in the restaurant wasnt watching before, they are
watching now.
Colt goes down to one knee.
Silence. Waiters and Waitresses stand frozen. Patrons sit
captivated. Watching.
COLT
Brittany Elizabeth Peters. Ive
never met anyone like you. The
perfect complement. You are my
best friend, and the only person
that Ive ever wanted to spend my
life with. Brittany, will you marry
me?
Colt opens his ring box.
The restaurant audience sits in suspense.
Yes!

BRITTANY

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

Colt slips the ring onto her finger. Brittany begins to cry
with joy. He kisses her outstretched hand, then stands and
kisses his fiance. The audience erupts in applause.
Colt puts an arm around Brittanys waist and "presents" her
to the audience. They smile and wave. Embracing their
inner celebrity.
Colt leads Brittany to the camera crew.
MOTHERLY DOP
Congratulations
She hugs Colt like a proud mother.
MOTHERLY DOP (CONTD)
Here you go. Ive got it all for
you. You two are just perfect.
She hands Colt back his phone, the video of the proposal
already playing.
Thank you.

COLT

MOTHERLY DOP
And Bill. Bill show him yours. I
had Bill film it too, just to make
sure.
COLT
Thank you I appreciate it. Bill?
Why dont you just send me the
file?
MOTHERLY DOP
Let me take a photo of you two.
COLT
Okay sure, Brittany?
Brittany walks over to Colt and they embrace for the
picture. Brittany proudly displays her ring for the
camera. After a few snaps, Colt lets go of Brittanys
waist.
A crowd has gathered around the couple.
RING GAWKER
Let me get a good look at.
Brittany extends her hand, showing the ring off to the
crowd.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.
RING GAWKER
Oh thats lovely.

You would think that the restaurant was filled with

professional ring appraisers from the comments made by the
crowd. Its like a press conference. The questions overlap
and Brittany struggles to keep up.
CHEAPESKATE
That must have cost a
fortune!

a blur

BRITTANY
Yeah. I dont know what he
spent.

CUTTER
Its beautiful! Is that a
princess cut?

BRITTANY
Your guess is as good as
mine.

CRYSTAL
Look at the clarity!

COVETER
Youre a lucky girl! Hes
quite a man!

CALENDER
When is the wedding going
to be?

BRITTANY
I dont know, next spring?

Brittany stammers responses to these questions. She looks

around for Colt. He comes in from the side and kisses her
on the cheek.
COLT
Are you ready to go?
Brittany nods.
COLT (CONTD)
Weve got to go. But thank you for
making us feel so special.
Colt takes Brittanys hand and they walk toward the exit.
Colt and Brittany are overjoyed. Their faces alight. The
patrons of the restaurant watch as they go. They reach the
exit and we FREEZE FRAME.
COLT (V.O.)
Thats the forty-seventh time that
Ive proposed to her.
MONTAGE:
The Maitre D turns to leave and Colt grabs his wrist.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.
COLT
Sorry to be a bother, but can you
get the violinists to play along as
well?

But this time we se Colt slip a WATCH off the Maitre Ds

wrist.
COLT (V.O.)
Its a pretty simple
scheme. Distract people with a
story of romance.
The Maitre D leaves, and Colt puts the watch onto his own
wrist.
INT. RESTAURANT
COLT (V.O.)
And theyll be willing to help in
any way they can.
Colt hands the Motherly DOP the phone.
COLT (V.O.)
Once they become your ally, their
guards drop quickly. They become
your "friends".
The Motherly DOP gives Colt a big hug. Like a mother.
COLT (V.O.)
And friends are very trusting.
While the Motherly DOP ensures that Colt is pleased with her
videos and pictures, Brittany steals the other couples
phones, wallets, and credit cards that are on the table.
COLT (V.O.)
Everyone dotes on a pair of star
crossed lovers.

Would she be able to steal

those things? Think about it.

The crowd circles around Brittany and Colt.

COLT (V.O.)
And obsess over the ring.
The gawkers gawk over the ring. While Brittany deals with
them, Colt makes off with their goods.
He slips wallets and phones from their pockets, credit cards
from their tables. No one pays him any attention.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

COLT (V.O.)
Once weve gotten what we came for
we leave.
Colt and Brittany walk outside holding hands.
COLT (V.O.)
And we dont even pay for dinner.
We are back with them at the exit and we UNFREEZE
frame. Colt gives Brittany one big last big kiss.
they pull apart we SMASH TO CREDITS.

And as