How to Win the

Online Dating Game

Get ready to change the game forever.

Blake Steele
BuzzFeed Staff

With the growing number of singles around the globe, digital dating
has become a popular way to meet and date new people.
In fact, one in every ten American adults reports joining an online
dating service (Nuwer). This new method of snatching up matches was
long controlled by popular dating websites such as eHarmony or
Match.com. But, in recent years it has recently switched to rapidly
surfacing matchmaking apps. Tinder, one of the most popular new dating
applications, allows smartphone users to view potential dates by simply
flipping through profile photos and skimming short bios in order to
determine compatibility. If interested in a potential match all one has to
do is swipe right, and if uninterested swipe left (Wood). Recent statistics
show the average Tinder user signs into the app about 11 times a day
while spending between 7-9 minutes swiping -- which can total a
whopping 90 minutes each day (Bilton). The problem with these apps is
not that users are given thousands of new faces to pick through, but that
with the overwhelming number of options app savvy people just like you
and I are made into serial daters on a quest for a perfection that doesn't
exist (Pompey)! So what can consumers do to make this mind game
back into the courtship it once was? To answer that question I decided to

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take the honor of creating four simple solutions any aspiring serial-dater
can use to find love in the modern dating service.
1. Start by changing that old username to something more
thought provoking.
What better place to start raking in matches than the username
you made upon registration? While this may not apply to applictaions
such as Tinder, there are other computer-mediated dating services that
ask you to create a pseudo-name for yourself. However, it seems that
settling on a profile name can prove quite the challenge. Selecting only a
few words to sum up ones entirety when faced with the issues of an
already taken screen names, and confusing name generators- it should
come as no surprise that most users find it easier to just type in their own
names rather than add a fancy twist or a few numbers (Wood). Research
on attraction and persuasion conducted by Sameer Chaudhry (an intern
at the University of North Texas) and Khalid Khan (professor of womens
health and clinical epidemiology at Barts and the London School of
Medicine and Dentistry) helped them dig up 86 studies that honed in on
the factors that create real-world dates out of computerized exchanges.
Some of these studies revealed that men are attracted to usernames
with physical attributes in them, such as cute or pretty. While women
are more apt to search for usernames that imply intelligence such as
cultured or well read. The same research suggested either sex would
take positively to playful usernames like fun2bwith and avoid
usernames with words such as bug that hold negative connotations.
They also found that usernames starting with letters from the first 13
letters in the alphabet draw more attention than the last 13 letters.
(Nuwer). Dr. Khan explains that, as human beings, we have a tendency
to give things at the top of a pile more value. When dating online, its
always a never a bad idea to consider ways to make your current
username more amiable and approachable. Be it by adding more
interesting words to arouse better results, or removing distasteful slang.
Just try to remember that it is always more important to be yourself!
2. Get rid of the ratty selfies and add a glamour shot or two!
(Dont forget to show the pearly whites!)
Online dating services are beginning to admit the single most
important thing that matters when matching is ones picture. Despite how
much companies akin to eHarmony insist that they have acquired a
scientific method for helping people fall in love. A post on OKCupids
Oktrends blog that was listed in early 2014 stated, a persons profile
picture is worth that fabled thousand words, but your actual words are
worth... almost nothing. This suggests that measures to match people
can only go so far, and adding a few good pictures to your profile

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couldnt hurt! The reason for this is that within the pictures we post on
these sites, we leave behind a myriad of hidden traits that other users
pick up on when viewing photos and use when deciding whether to
swipe left or right. Anything can factor into these hasty decisions from
something as simple as a style of clothing and as subtle as puckered lips
or bad posture. Whats in each photo tells us a lot about how another
user such as how they respond to social situations, how often they party,
and sometimes even how confident they are. For example picture of a
guy at a pub surrounded by friends is interpreted much differently than a
picture of a guy walking a dog on the beach (Bilton). So when posting
pictures, ask yourself what each one might imply about you. Use these
hidden queues as an advantage. Oh! And according to Christian
Rudder, founder of OKCupid, people with unique features, tattoos, and
piercings attract 10 percent more messages than what are considered to
be traditionally good-looking people (Gregoire). Which means, if you
have a little ink it might not be a bad idea to include it! (Tastefully of
course!)
3. Your Bio is supposed to be about you, but present sure to
market yourself accordingly!
Put yourself in the shoes of a potential date that makes it past
your pictures and is interested in getting to know you. Said date will most
likely want to learn about you (passions, places visited, family life,
education, work) and his/her next stop will be your bio. Dont have one?
Well get typing!! Make sure to include more than just positive attributes in
your description. Professor of Communications at the University of Iowa
Andy High found that users are more interested in interacting with others
who are honest about what they write about themselves. High stated that
in a recent study, participants gravitated toward account descriptions that
contained info that made the person seem more genuine -- such as the
company they work for, or their blog name, rather than a description of
the perfect person. High explained that more than anything, users
simply desire to see and relate to the person behind the profile. Users
would rather have more details about a potential suitors life, such as
their job or interests, rather than just questionably positive, and
sometimes exaggerated, adjectives (Gregoire). Your bio should include
information relevant to you such as hobbies, interests, and aspirations.
Theres no need to beef the bio up, just be you!
4. Never forget to exercise caution; your security should be
your top priority!
Lastly you should always exercise caution when providing
personal information on the Internet. When you disclose this sensitive
information, these websites fail to inform you that other dating sites may

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receive that information as well as advertisers. Additional risks involved

with web-mediated dating such as predators and scams must also be
taken into consideration before agreeing to those terms and conditions.
When joining a dating website keep in mind you might also be also
putting your reputation at risk. Former Match.com CEO Greg Blatt
himself stated, What you do is more important than what you say. He
was referring to the difference between whom you browse through and
whom you match with. Websites such as Match.com will closely monitor
the kind of partners youre habitually attracted to take that into
consideration when pairing you with other users later. So the next time
you run a search for people near you, it might not be the kind of person
you described prior to sifting through profiles. (Privacy Rights
Clearinghouse). Considering this, you have to admit its important to
keep in consideration just how in depth these websites are able to go
and just how much they are able to do with the information you provide.
With these four things in mind you should find it much easier to
harness the innovations around us, and use them to help find your
perfect match.

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