ASK DR TROLL-SCIENCE

Politically Incorrect Humor for Science Fans of All Ages

VOL. 1, ISSUE 2

BLONDEES FAIR & FREE PRESS

Q: HOW DO I GET A NU BODY?

A: EZ. PRINT WUN!

PRINT YER BODY!

SPIDER DRESS

HOW TO: PRINT YER NU BODY!

Hi Folks, Itz tru! Now yu kin carree yerself over tu BodyMart an
git yer choise uv printed nu body to wear! If Im lyin Im dyin.
I no wut yer tinkin, How de hellz it dun?
EZ. Lemme splane. Dey yuze 28 kameras ta give yu de full-body
scan. OK, wate rite dere. Holed up. I guts a brane-storm!
Why dohn dey jess convert de airpert full-body scanners ta this
poipose? Brillyant, rite?
An dohn even get me started abowt de danjers of all dis body-scanning, hm? R we
ignerint consumers sposta be ignerint abowt de problems wit radiashun? Gimme a brake.
Yeh shur deres problems wit radiashun, like um decreese in bone densitee fer wun. How
abowt dat? Yu manufacturers need ta help us owt here, hm?
Heres wut de jenius inventers sae
The photography itself took seconds, the printing process a little longer but the results
were intergalactic!
Wit dis nex statemint we trolls cant evin sleep at nite
Ideally, a model system of an entire human body is the goal - a human body on a chip.
Holy Moly, now dats sum scary sheet.
Read de hole silly article here and more here
Publishers Note: Um, Dr Troll, I know you love to rant about radiation.. And we all
appreciate that.. But they used cameras for the action-figures, not scanners. Got that?

REVIEW: SPIDER DRESS ATTACK!

Hi Folks! Okay sose mebbe de akshun-figures are a littul bit
weerd fer yu. Butt hang on ta yer ice-creem cos now we bring yu
sumting dat every wun uv yu will want!
Yep dats rite folks, yer veree own spider dress! Whoopee! I nose I
kin hardlee wate ta get into wun uv dese bad boyz an go visit sum
bak-stabbin jakkassis I nose. Ya feel me?
Yep, ahm sayin yule rule de roost in dis get-up! Not fer wimps! Cos I meen, dohn all
mekanikull tings fail? Hahaaaa and wut happins den? Dem big clippers attack YU?
Wow, kin yu imajin dat? It wud bee like 47,000 hard-azz spiders all comin atchu at wunce!
Holy spandex!
Yeh, I tride wun on. Itz roboticks! Dem sensors meajure my breathin and I meen ta tell yu
dat yeh I wuz breathin reel I meen reel hard! Den dem lites along de stumick start flashin
and de spider legs start kickin and dem spooky sounds go nuts
Holy sheet, itz enuff ta make a good ole troll want ta throw down! I meen I gut outta dere
reel, like super fast.
If yer super brave, clik on de leenk and watsh de video, yikes!
Read de hole silly article with video here

PHOTO CREDITS:

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-29114744
http://www.cnet.com/uk/news/robotic-spider-dress-defends-your-personal-space/