Peace Ambassador Training

Peaceful Communication and Energy Mastery with James O'Dea

May 21, 2014
[0:00:00]
Philip:

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Peace Ambassador Training. This is
Philip Hellmich, the Director of Peace with The Shift Network. And tonight we are
going to start into the third pillar of communicating peace. And James is going to
be leading this class with an amazing session on peaceful communication and
energy mastery. I havent seen this combination from many other people at all
so were in for a real treat.
What Id like to do now is ask if there are any volunteers who would like to lead
this meditation. If you would, please just press 1 on your touchtone phone. Next
week we have [Participant]. But if theres anyone right now who would just like
to step up and share, please go ahead and press 1.
All right. Well, here. Ill lead this one then.
So if you are in a comfortable place, safe place, not driving a car, I invite you to
just close your eyes and relax. Go ahead and take a deep breath in. Hold that
breath and tense all the muscles gently and then exhale and relax. Again, inhale,
tense and hold, exhale and relax.
Id like to invite you now to just witness the breath coming and out, just
witnessing that breath. Now become aware of your feet. They are on the floor.
Be aware of how you and your body or supported by the floor, if you're steady
on a chair how youre supported there.
Now become aware of whats under the floor, structure of the building youre in,
if you're outside, just the earth, under that structure, how theres the earth. And
just feel how you're supported by the earth. Just really feel into that energy, this
ancient energy of the earth and how you are supported. Its been here your
entire life and you can support it by your entire life. Everything that you eat and
drink comes from this earth.
Now, I like to invite you to become aware of how the earth is supported by the
sun. You also want to dance with the moon and other planets and how the sun
and these other bodies are connected with the earth, connected with you and
that you are supported by them. And now taking that a little bit further, become
aware that the sun is part of a galaxy, a vast galaxy with billions of stars, and that
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the sun, supported by this galaxy which supports the earth, which supports you,
each of us and how were all supported by this galaxy.
Now become aware that there are billions of galaxies, billions of stars thats
supporting this galaxy, supporting this sun, supporting this earth, supporting
each of us, and all of this is happening. We are all supported by it. Nothing we
need to do. Its all been here ever since weve taken our first breath even before.
It will be here after our bodies go and our souls go on to the next plane.
[0:05:16]
Now become aware that all of these galaxies, this entire universe is supported by
something that goes by many different names: God, cosmic consciousness,
Wakan Tanka, many different names. Our universe that support it, the galaxy,
sun, earth, and each of us are supported by this, whatever name you want to call
it. And all we have to do during the day is stop and pause and become aware of
that support that is always there. We dont have to do something. We dont have
to make something. We dont have to try to be something.
All we need to do is pause and tap into this support that is really manifesting
everything. Have a sense into that great peace, the security that comes that you
dont have to do anything in order to be supported, reminder that any time
during the day, we can stop and pause and feel that support of whats
manifesting all of us.
Now imagine how you can go through the day differently when you interact with
people knowing that you have this deep peace and security right there and how
you can interact with people differently based upon that deep sense of security
and how that could affect your communications with others. Anytime youre in a
conflict with someone you can stop, pause, go to the witness and become aware
of this support, and then respond to the people and that deep sense of security.
And when you are ready, I invite you to open your eyes, take in a deep breath,
exhale, just kind of wiggle your body around, and again feel that vast support
that its here with us. That was a meditation that I learned from a man you will
be hearing from in the Summer of Peace named Nithya Shanti, a beautiful
teacher from India, a young man.
Well, just a few announcements. As James mentioned in the last class, wed love
to invite people who have not been sharing to start taking a step forward in the
class and we encourage you to share if you are comfortable and if you can
stretch yourself, if you are uncomfortable and still feeling safe, please do so.
Wed love to encourage dialogue because our past experience is that people
tend to wait for the last session and everybody rushes in. And we all benefit
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when we share our collective experiences and wisdom. So we invite you to do

that.
And then also, if youd like to lead the meditation -- I want to thank [Participant]
again for last week and then [Participant] next week -- lead a meditation or read
an inspirational piece, please contact me, philip@theshiftnetwork.com. And then
as always, if youre having technical difficulties on the call, please hit 5 in your
keypad. And when Im not busy, Ill be there to assist.
And James, would you like to connect the last class with this class?
James:

Yes. As you mentioned, beginning the third pillar tonight and we have buckets of
stuff, a big class to get through tonight, lots of different aspects of
communication. This is all about peaceful interaction in the world who are
moving more into the world -- we've been very much in the world of course now,
the interactive process in the world that creates peace all the way through.
We've just had two incredible classes rounding up the wounding and healing
pillar class with Arun was so magnetic, so powerful, so much in there to really
delve into. We really understand the scope of the vision with the active and
passive violence so looking for the wound in the structure. In my mapping I was
asking you to locate the wound not just the incident of trauma. It helps us locate
the wound in the very structures and systems we operate in the governance
structure and how to entangle one of the ways which can be earned was a need
for sacrifice.

[0:10:45]
We need to go and give up ourselves in the process. This is not just a spectator
sport. This is really giving of our deepest self. And he emphasized that its
through sacrifice that you attain the moral high ground. So look at channeling
anger, view the whole concept. Lets not make anger wrong now. You got angry,
youre wrong.
Just see anger as one of the energies in the universe and actually we are
cleansing energy in some ways. But its got to be transformed, as Arun said, the
light. How do we switch the raw energy that if it gets directed in its rawest,
crudest form, he can redirect it at somebody and hurt them? It should be
directed at problems, not at people and it should illuminate.
Then he talked about respect, understanding, acceptance and appreciation; that
whole concept of trusteeship. Each of us have a talent. There are the trustees of
that talent. We can bury it in a box or hold it back. Ease comes when we act as
trustees of our own creative talents and share them with the world. That's core
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principle of the Peace Ambassador Training is really invite you into that
acknowledgement of the trusteeship of your own gift, finding that gift through
this process as we start the inner core and keep working our way outward into
the location process, into the systems process, and then into action you will take
in the world and to share with others.
Finally, Arun talked about in the moral high ground that's achieved when you
respect the oppresser. And Azim, dear, dear Azim, how he teaches us to go
through the process of deepest wounding and mourning and suffering, the
shooting murder of your son in such a pointless episode, and how he shows us
that you have to be with the pain and the suffering and have support from
others to really enter into that period of mourning and to release toxins of
unforgiveness, begin that long journey back to doing good, serving your
community.
So much powerful information is work on restorative justice and his invitation to
really check out the curricular materials that he has created. He really deserves a
Nobel Peace Prize and he had a massive impact, so profoundly the nature of the
victim at both ends.
[0:15:02]
So we have had some very deep souls and a deep journey into wounding and
healing. As I said, were going to really look at overview of the communications
process and peacemaking and end that presentation, looking at its reflection
even in peoples energy system.
So with that, Ill hand it back to you and well see if there's some sharing.
Philip:

Wonderful. Thank you, James. If you are on the phone and would like to share,
please go ahead and press 1. And if you are on the webcast, please go ahead and
type in your comment.
We have a comment here from [Participant] in Melbourne, Australia. He says,
"What a powerful session with Azim Khamisa, so much to reflect on. One point
that stood out for me was the crucial importance of having some kind of spiritual
practice before the crisis. For some, that may be underpinned by a religious faith
and for others completely without any kind of organizational restraints is
something that grounds them in a deep understanding of interdependency and
interconnectedness not only with their fellowmen but something greater than
themselves. I say that because I sense that Azim's journey may have been
rendered far more difficult had he been obliged to stand knitting his parachute
on the way down.
4

He was in his mid-40s when he lost a son and hes had decades of spiritually
based meditation to fall back on as well a loving and supportive community. I
feel for those undertaking such a difficult journey with no such support. Also, his
distinction between the approaches adapted by the criminal justice system and
restorative justice and the different parties involved was clear and succinct
appreciated."
Thank you, [Participant].
James:

Beautiful statement, [Participant]. Absolutely on track. I fully affirm that. Very

good.

Philip:

I had not heard that expression, James, "knitting his parachute on the way
down."

James:

Right. It's a good one.

Philip:

All right. Okay. We have [Participant]. [Participant], please go ahead.

Participant:

Hi. I just wanted to share the culmination of a practice that I engaged in 114
Thursdays ago. Im an Iraq veteran. I got back from Iraq in 2007, and I started a
blog and I outlined this blog after the book "The Art of Peace" by Morihei
Ueshiba, the founder of the martial art Aikido.
Anyway, his book, The Art of Peace, is written in a format of 114 stanzas and I
committed to writing a blog, one blog post per every stanza. I did that 114 weeks
ago last Thursday and I completed it. Its been 114 weeks of the study of the Art
of Peace. It's been incredible. Its been absolutely incredible to watch the way
the divine experience has become manifest in my life, including the way that
things are falling into place to the way that I am communicating with others, just
my overall life.
In a sense I really want to thank this organization and thank you, guys, for having
this opportunity to continue the practice in new and unique forms. So thank you
so much.

James:

Wow. Thats totally impressive, yes. You may have heard my earlier talk on
"aikido of conflict," and Morihei is the embodiment of skillful peacemaking. I
wonder if you could share one of the practices with us. And as a reflection --

Participant:

Sure. The last stanza of The Art of Peace is as follows: "The divine beauty of
heaven and earth, all creation, members of one family." And I think it was what
the meditation spoke to a minute ago. I think its what you have been talking
about these past couple of weeks. And the neat part about the Art of Peace is
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that there is 113 little stanzas like that before that final statement, and the very
first stanza begins with the simple fact that the art of peace starts with you.
[0:20:18]
James:

Yes. And Ill just remind the class about this word "Aikido." "Ai" means with in
conjunction with serving. "Ki" is that word for --we can it qi, spirit energy, primal
sourcing energy, cosmic energy. "Do" means the way or the path. So its the path
of being one with of connecting and serving the universal energy. So there are
many who wanted to take Morihei and give work and use it for the military. You
should know this is about world peace. He was a true believer in world peace
and a very profound teacher. So thank you so much for doing what you are
doing.

Participant:

Surely. Thank you.

Philip:

Thank you, [Participant]. And lets see. Anyone else who would like to share,
please go ahead and press 1. Or if you are on the webcast, go ahead and type in
your comments.

James:

If not, then well move on.

Philip:

Okay. Oh, here is -- oh, I had a couple who jump in here. [Participant], please go
ahead.

James:

Thank you. I just want to share a little something that happened. Ive had some
fraud and got very angry and hung up on a person that was kind of manipulating,
telling me that I need to know more than I do and that sort of thing. I said Im
going to kill myself and hung up. And then I thought afterwards, "Oh, dear, what
if she calls the police?" And about 30 minutes later there was a policeman at my
door and he was just so good in making sure that I wasnt going to kill myself but
also sharing how he had been a victim of fraud recently and could really relate.
And right after that, James, I went to your book and I reread that part in the
beginning that talks about how we can become peaceful within is what I was
experiencing as I read it. But I just want to tell you, it was almost miraculous the
way that youve put it together. I could really relate. This is what I really, really
need because if I am going to be a Peace Ambassador, Im going to have to get
beyond this ability to be so volatile.
I also want to say that Saturday when you came in late and said you had to run
to Molly's to get on the phone, Im in Boise, and I babysat David on a couple of
times before she moved to Crestone. I so wanted to tell him happy birthday but I
didnt have any way to get in touch. So thats so fun when you shared that.
6

James:

Thats great. Thank you so much for your sharing, [Participant].

Participant:

Thank you for all you do and Molly too.

James:

Ill pass it on.

Participant:

Okay.

Philip:

Wonderful. Thank you, [Participant]. [Participant], we actually have a question

for you. The question is, are [Participant]'s blogs available online? [Participant]?

Participant:

Im sorry. [Participant], what?

Philip:

Blogs. The blogs you're referring to.

Participant:

Oh, yeah, sure. Everything is under Armor Down.

Philip:

Is it .org?

Participant:

Yeah, armordown.com.

Philip:

.com, okay. Wonderful. Thank you, [Participant]. I encourage you to share that
on the Facebook group also.

[0:25:05]
Participant:

Okay, sure thing. Thank you.

Philip:

Thank you, [Participant].

James:

Okay. So I will pause now, Philip, and pick up later.

Philip:

Okay.

James:

So we have a lot to cover and well get through it. I am going to start with two
stories and I really want you to listen to the stories and think about the
communication process. So were also going to look at listening a little later in
this call and theres going to be listening with an analytical ear. This is one story I
tell on the book, the real truth, completely true story of Julio Diaz, New York,
going home to Brooklyn on the subway. He does this every night, gets back late.
He gets off at a stop before his home and he walks from there to a diner, has a
late supper and walks the rest to the way home.
7

One night when he gets off the subway, its late, hes the only person getting off,
a kid comes up to him and pulls a large knife on him and asks for his wallet,
demands his wallet. This is in the middle of winter. Julio obeys because thats
what you should do, protect yourself. So he just hands over his wallet. The kid
starts running away and Julio calls after him. "Look," he says, "Im almost home. I
have this warm coat on me. You are obviously in terrible need. Why dont you
take my coat as well?"
He stopped the kid in his track and had listened to the communication process in
the story, stops the kid in his track. The kid obviously thinks there's some trick to
throw the coat over him. As it unfolds, Julio takes off the coat, places it on the
ground, and he steps far enough away from it. So the kid comes back, teenage
kid, picks up the coat, and Julio said, "And you must be hungry too. Youre acting
like you need a coat, you need money. Youre probably starving. My diner is
nearby. Why dont you come to my diner and well have some food together?"
This creates exactly the opening that is needed. The kid puts the knife away,
walks with Julio to the diner. At the diner, everybody knows Julio because he
comes every night to the diner and "Hi, Julio. How are you doing, man?" the
manager, the clients, the waiters. "Who is your friend?"
So it progresses and they have their meal together. And Julio says at the end of
the meal to the young guy, "I would like to buy you dinner but something
happened to my wallet." And the kid by this time is starting to open up, takes
out the wallet and he gives it back to Julio. Julio pays the meal and Julio says, "Id
like to buy something from you. Id like to give you $20 if you would exchange
$20 with the knife that you have." So the kid takes the money, gives him the
knife.
What a story of essentially the nonviolent communication process, NVC as its
called, nonviolent communication, as its core. If you get to the heart and the
root of anyones needs, you will prevent violence. Its so true. Ive seen it true in
conflict zone. Im sure Philip has. It's really getting to the heart of someone's
need. In this case, Julio finds the true need, keeps responding to the real need,
disarms the kid, shows him what its like to be a healthy human being with
friends and a job and compassion and empathy. Brilliant story.
[0:30:43]
So that root of nonviolent communication is essentially what do you need me to
understand about your situation? What do you need me to understand? If I
could understand it, if I could truly understand you, you would have a
breakthrough.
8

I think it's a very profound opener. You cant really discuss communication
strategies in peacemaking without starting with nonviolent communication.
Really at the root of the root of nonviolent communication is the expression of
love and compassion. If, through any circumstance, you can get to that place
where you can express it, you'd do great things. We dont spend a lot of time on
nonviolent communication because many of you have done work in this area. Its
our experience that I've studied and often come to peacemaking work through
nonviolent communication.
The other story I am going to tell you, you can think about the communication
process here. When I was in Amnesty International as the director of its
Washington office for 10 years and one year Amnesty put out a report on the
death penalty in the United States. Some of you have heard me talk about the
death penalty. I just do not understand it. It seems obscenely cruel to
consciously and coldly take another persons life. It's a very different situation to
take someones life in a conflict situation.
So we had this report on the death penalty. I got an invitation from the largest
Jewish synagogue in the Washington, D.C. area to come and speak about the
death penalty. They are not interested in my coming to speak about Israel and
the Palestinians, but at least I was invited to speak about the death penalty. It
was a very large audience and very, very good people. I presented on the death
penalty and there was generally a lot of agreement.
Then I noticed an older lady got up to speak and I could see on her arm the
markings of a holocaust survivor. She was shaking and she said, "You know, I
wouldnt have the death penalty for young people, for juvenile. I would only
have it in a certain situations. But if any of those Nazis that tortured us and that
killed my people came into my view, I would personally strangle them." She
made a strangling motion with her hand, like she was strangling the neck of a
chicken. "I would do it this way." She was full of anger and passion. She said to
me, "This is what you must do to people like that."
[0:34:49]
So there you have a real situation, very charged, very volatile, energy up, people
all around, silent, waiting to see how I responded. And what I did was I took the
time to wait, took the time to look at this woman and to look at deep into her,
not just at the surface, at the words that she was saying, not just her shaking
anger but to look at her essence.
Once I had connected there, I said to her, "Oh, no you wouldnt. You would
never do that. You are such a beautiful person. I just could never see you doing
something like that." It completely disarmed her. She basically said, "Oh, stop it,
9

stop it, stop it," and like I was flattering her. I was like a young lover who would
come to flatter her. She said, "Stop it, stop it," and she sat down. And everybody
started chuckling and laughing because I had seen something and I named it, and
I in a way had honored her.
After the talk a man came up to me and he said, "I just want to tell you this. I am
for the death penalty. But what you said today has changed my life because this
holocaust survivor is a dear, dear friend to all of us and she was seen by the
Nazis as ugly, as deformed in some ways as to be annihilated. What you did was
you saw her beauty and you named it."
I think again if we analyze the communication process there, it's so important for
us to try to reach that place where you reach beyond the surface. Even though
the surface may be hugely charged and tricky and dangerous and loaded, they
recognize what is the really deep being in here.
So those are the two stories to think about as we go through the process.
I want to begin also -- Ive already begun I know -- by talking about dialogue
because as some of you know, I spent years and years with all forms of dialogue.
The Catholic theologian who said, "It will be dialogue or death on planet earth."
Unless we learn to dialogue, we are in some ways fundamentally doomed. I
emphasize it because so many of you are out there doing transformational work
and political work, and the tenor of the political debate has really moved away
from dialogue to name calling, to insulting, to ranting at each other.
Dialogue is a very interesting word. "Dia" which means through; "logos" higher
mind -- dia, logos. So dia logos, the word dialogue, is actually a very high word. It
says go through the highest mind. Go through the shared higher mind and you
will find each other. Dia logos, through the logos, through the deep, deep
meaning we'll find each other there. Often people think that dialogue means
between two people but it has a different meaning.
There are so many different types of dialogues. Just as I was reviewing the
context that Id been involved in dialogues, Ive been involved in dialogue on
mutual acknowledgement of wounding between Israelis and Palestinians. We
brought together psychiatrists, psychologist and social workers from both the
Israelis and Palestinians and did a dialogue process. We said, "Lets look at
mutual acknowledgement. If I acknowledge this about your pain and suffering,
what is it that you can then acknowledge about mine because Ive opened up the
space of dialogue to do so?"
[0:40:23]
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Ive been involved in dialogues on healing and peace. Scientists and academics
and Native American leaders have been involved in dialogues focusing on
collaboration rather than competition with the whole consortium of nonprofit
organizations. And you would think that nonprofit organizations would be less
competitive with each other but, in fact, theres a lot of healing that needs to
happen there.
Ive been involved in dialogues on the nature of activism and spirituality and
sacred activism. Ive been involved in dialogues in small island nations like
Ireland and Iceland coming together saying, "How can we survive in the global
economy that goes on?" There are so many contexts. Ive been in dialogues on
racial healing and I think the possibilities are limitless really in some ways.
So lets just review for a moment the kinds of dialogue.
So you really can create deep fields of meaning. One of the things in deeper
dialogues, we can say, "Well, these are the facts. Facts dont constitute the truth,
do they? Heres my experience and this is the truth of my experience." And
always, I mean its been almost universal in my experience in over 15 years of
international social healing dialogues, when people start to speak directly out of
their experience, something happens to the listening in the room. When people
are talking about the facts and arguing over the facts, theres a kind of a
blockage that comes.
One dialogic process is called the Wisdom Council Process. It's often styled on
the Native or indigenous process of the circle wisdom where as the Native
teachers of this particular dialogic process point out is there can be no
competition for who is on the floor. There can be no competition for time. You
start a Wisdom Council Process together. Its really about gathering wisdom to
allow for as much time as it takes. That takes days.
You dont start a council process of this nature and say, "Well, our hour is up."
They will not get you where you need to go. Only the person with the talking
stick, or whatever object is used, is allowed to speak. There is no crosstalking.
There is no argumentation. Just listening and listening as the circle goes for the
accumulation of wisdom. That field of wisdom in a noncompetitive,
nonjudgmental, non-interruptive Wisdom Council Process is very, very powerful.
And then we have in dialogue we also have inquiry. Many people look at David
Cooper's Appreciative Inquiry process. Inquiry is where you have a question you
are exploring together and you really want to get some direction. So where is the
Wisdom Council is more generalized as a wisdom process maybe about a
particular situation.
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[0:45:05]
If it's about a particular decision information that needs to be gathered from this
community, inquiry process is better. Appreciative inquiry says you should begin
with the appreciation. What is good about our situation? What is it that is
working? What is the good news here? Start with appreciation, and it does
something to the quality of the field, to the biochemical brew in the room of
your bodies.
Once we start appreciating, we change the energy system in the room radically.
The appreciative inquiry process is from discovering what is best and declaring
what is best to dreaming what could be. So you go from one to way out there,
just let it go. How could we possibly have the best possible of all possible words?
How do we dream together?
The fourth round is how would you start to design around that dream? And the
fourth round is how can we deliver it? Look at the questions, look at whats best,
weve dreamt of whats possible, weve designed it, and we are now starting to
deliver it. Very powerful process.
Many of you know about the conversation process, the world caf system,
where you bring people together in small groups. It may be a very large group.
Weve done these conversation cafes at the Institute of Noetic Sciences
conference with a thousand people that you have, say, six people around the
table. We design conversations so that every voice is heard and its a way of
farming ideas, of hearing the community voices, of listening in to what really
matters to everyone, not what you are telling them that matters. Very, very
powerful.
And then, finally, as I recall, deep dialogue process. So the deepest dialogue Ive
done has been with a colleague, Judith Thompson. Weve taken from different
conflict zones, brought them to Cyprus and really created a formula where you
listen, listen deeply to the hearts core without judgment; always calling forth
the deep and true experiencing of a person, allowing the field to get deeper. So
you need some days or commitment to meet regularly for deep dialogue.
Leroy Little Bear is a Native American elder I did deep dialogue with through his
guidance. He's Native American and physicist. Very interesting combination -scientist and Native elder going into deep dialogue. He says the key to deep
dialogue is suspending tacit infrastructures. In other words, the things, the
beliefs, the worldviews that dont get spoken, your way of judging the world,
your way of pinning down reality, your way of concretizing your belief, you have
to suspend that, to suspend it in a way so the room is not crowded out with the
12

hidden conversation of what people really believe, where you open yourself to
the canvas of what is there unfolding in the now, other people in the room.
Deep dialogue, you can talk about the deepest wounding and deep dialogue with
former Nazis and holocaust survivors, Catholics and Protestants, former IRA
members, Israelis and Palestinians, Hutu and Tutsi, people whove been in the
deepest places of wounding, of perpetration, of victimization, or it can all be
spoken and heard, the most sacred, sacred thing that I know is turning into deep
dialogue.
[0:50:23]
I invite you, my friends, to really look and learn more about the power of these
different forms of dialogue and peacemaking. A world can really heal more
rapidly in the presence of dialogue. Our politicians are behaving like adolescents
in the sandbox. I think its quite fine to reject dialogue and just insult the other.
We have to teach them. We have to find a new politics.
I'm so excited and happy that Marianne Williamson is running for political
congress office in California. If you hear her speak, it's exactly in this tone. Lets
bring about a new form of politics and lets each of us begin dialogues in our
community. Lets mirror the power of dialogue. Whoever we stereotype as the
other, lets enter into dialogue; dia, through logos, the deepest meaning, the
highest mind. Well find the spiritual support that we need when we enter into
dialogue at that deep, deep level.
So all this prepares us for deeper conversation about listening because none of
what Ive spoken about -- Julios story, the story with the holocaust survivor, the
various types of dialogue -- none of it is possible unless we do something with
our listening. People think, "Well, Ive got two ears, so I know how to listen." In
fact, we can absolutely grow in listening.
Philip will tell you that this is a revelatory experience for some people when they
really begin to learn about the dimensions of listening and listening to their own
listening talk about that.
Lets just review the seven kinds of listening so you get an idea of, wow, there
are worlds of listening. And when we teach this to others and share it and
practice it, really preparing the environment for deeper, deeper dialogue.
So the first kind of listening I call transactional listening. Youre at the checkout
counter in a supermarket and you ask, "Is there a discount on the organic
strawberries today?" And you get the answer and the micro part of the brain
13

that does the transaction. If youre listening for a particular focused response,
you get it, you switch off the listening. You're not listening to anything else.
Believe it or not, some people stay as their dominant life mode of listening in
transactional listening. Theres something to be heard, I got it, I got the
information. Thats all I need. It's a very, very tip structure of meaning both
psychologically and spiritually. There is so much more than that going on.
The second kind of listening I call it cognitive process listening. This is the kind of
listening that a number of you, many of you are currently doing. Youre in a class.
Youre listening to the teacher. Theres a concept being presented. Youre
learning about the concept and youre working it out and then you say, "Got it."
So in the transaction, we got it as much quicker, it doesnt take much conceptual
or cognitive work. In cognitive process, there's like a test or a problem or an
idea. You got a word, get it clear, uh-huh, got it.
[0:55:04]
The thing about cognitive process listening is that it gets misapplied. As I point
out in the book, women can misuse it more often. So if someone is speaking to
us but theyre really wanting something from the emotional domain or
something deeper, were listening whats the problem and so we become Mr. Fix
it. "Uh-huh, got it, got the problem." Its only a matter of if I do this, then your
spouse will tell you, "Its not about fixing me or fixing it. Its about listening and
understanding and allowing me to be fully present and to be heard and to be
understood." So something has to get suspended in cognitive process when
really theres a different kind of listening thats called.
And then the third kind is what we call emotional outcome listening. This can be
also very tricky because once you get this, my friends, and you really practice it,
youll see how life speeds up for you in many relational ways because youll be
listening not only to your own listening, but youll be observing how the other
person is listening to you and then you get it. This person is listening to me like
Mr. Fix It, or like I am a problem that has to be solved.
Same in emotional outcome. When you notice that somebody is listening or a
particular emotional outcome, you can start to address that quickly then you
waste a lot of time and get confused and angry with each other. This is very
emotional. Maybe its emotional release. You're listening for certain keywords
and will bring release.
You're listening for an emotional outcome that says, "I am vindicated. Aha!
Finally, I am vindicated," or "I am being seen. I am being understood. People are
seeing my pain." Theres a certain emotional outcome process that goes on with
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certain kinds of listening. When you hear it and recognize it, then you address it
by going to it immediately. What do you need of me emotionally in this
situation? Do you need me to understand why you need to feel vindicated? That
cuts through a lot of stuff.
The fourth kind of listening I call postural listening. Postural listening is enacted
with ideas, debating differences of opinion, different views. And somebody
speaking, theyre speaking about the current situation and you hear in your head
your own voice preparing your response to counter their argument. And so while
theyre still speaking, youre actually listening 50% of the time to your own head
and your own "Well, if he says that, Im going to say this and Im going to counter
it with that. Thats a ridiculous idea. Im going to suggest this."
Now the thing is that none of these styles of listening are wrong. Its simply the
way we function. And what you want to do is when you clarify these different
elements of listening and you can say, "Okay, this is not a problem that needs to
be solved. This is a debate that wants to happen. Let's debate this," that again
opens up clarity.
[0:59:52]
Democracy relies on a certain kind of debating, the exchange of ideas; but the
highest form of debate comes when you can actually seize that chatter in
listening to your own response, fully absorb and listen to the other person,
suspend everything, listen to them and then respond with your own views and
opinions. Recognizing each of these elements is key.
The fifth is inquiry listening where like that appreciative inquiry process. You're
looking at a particular idea. You are searching together, this beautiful inquiry
listening when you are really listening for the highest guidance. Maybe you are
having your spiritual conversation. You are asking a philosophical question. You
really are in the "I dont know." You are listening with ears that say, "I dont
know. I really want to take the journey together with you."
So different, isnt it, than postural listening which is "I know and I am going to tell
you what I think about it." We're not trying to make debate wrong. Were just
trying to make sure its used in the right place, an inquiry is used in that search
for the higher where you suspend your opinions and you really take the journey
with somebody. Its very reciprocal. Inquiry listening is you are really together.
It's a form of oneness. You are taking the journey together. It's beautiful form of
listening.
Something that really good parents know how to do with their kids is to suspend
the hierarchy and start listening together. Where can we go together? What can
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we imagine? What could possibly be the possibilities that lie ahead for us? When
you listen in that way, you really do become one with the other person.
And then sixth is heart-centered or compassionate listening. There is an
organization called the Compassionate Listening Project. Its done work
particularly in the Middle East. Simply come together and listen to each others
story and listen with a heart open; not to judge, not just to hear the wound, just
to hear the trauma, just to hear the joy also, just to hear the expression of
whatever it is the other person needs to communicate. But you are sitting with
your listening through the heart, through the heart of compassion, deep
sensorial, empathic communion with the other person, beautiful and healing
kind of listening that is.
Finally, I've added in the seventh one, which I call integral listening. Sometimes it
just takes practice because sometimes when you really listen with the heart, you
can switch off the head. An integral says I can actually function with both at the
same time. I can listen with the heart and I can make cognitive assessments and
judgments with the mind. I can understand the meaning.
Sometimes Ive had the situation of giving a lecture. Somebody will come up to
me and say, "Oh, your talk, James, is so beautiful." I ask them a question about it
and it was clear that they got the emotional content. They got the
compassionate link in but they didnt get the concept. And so its when you get
the compassion and the concept together that you can get the integral.
[1:04:44]
So those are the seven kinds of listening and how are you listening now? How
are you listening? The thing is that its so beautiful about this process so that we
can listen, aha, I can recognize now how I am listening to you. And really is this
the right kind of listening for this situation or do I need to adjust my listening? Or
oh, my God! This person is listening to me and expecting a certain kind of
emotional outcome, and I thought we were on an inquiry journey together
where whatever unfolds is unfolded. You see how much communication can be
facilitated by clarifying our listening.
So I wanted to end because it's a natural sequence. Listening is really proactive.
We think of it as passive, but its actually dynamic and its actually energetic. For
example, if we wired you up during listening process, we could tell some of the
ways that you are listening. You are listening with cognitive process. We'll have
more neural activity in certain parts of the brain if you are in heart-centered
listening.

16

What I really want to get clear is that sense that its an energy system in
listening, and when you are listening I think its about 9 to 11 hertz. Somebody,
when Deborah Rozman was speaking to us about HeartMath, asked about the
Schumann frequencies. The Schumann frequencies of Planet Earth are very close
to the frequencies of our states of deep listening. Earth -- E-A-R -- there it is, the
ear in earth. Its a beautiful image actually that were a listening planet, listening
to the universe in the way that Philip brought us during meditation.
So we enter into various frequencies of energies and were in different states of
being. Were not going to go through the whole frequency list tonight. It shows
up energetically in different forms. We process energy in particular ways often
going back to childhood experiences. For a peacemaker, the 21st century
peacemaker, what were now saying to you it's not only will you be dialogic in
nonviolent communication, masterful in listening; you will also be an energy
master.
So we talked about Aikido earlier with [Participant]. The more that you read
someones situation, the more you read their energy, the less conflict will arise
because youll be able to read that energy quickly and know how to respond to
that energy system. Very futuristic in some ways, isnt it? It would become more
subtle. In order to become an energy reader, you have to get into the subtle
plane. Spirituality is about that movement from the growth of raw energy to the
subtle energy.
Lets just review some of those energy types. One I call the blocker and weve all
met the blocker. Hes somebody who blocks energy that comes towards them.
They have had a bad experience. He had hurt them as a child. They got
wounded. They got abused somewhere early in the story. They learn that the
only way to deal with a hostile and dangerous world when youre vulnerable is to
block the energy that comes in. You can block it intellectually, you can block it
emotionally, you can block it physically, but you are a blocker.
Some of us will have had this experience at school or in the office as the blocker.
"No, dont do it that way." "Well, I have an idea about it." "Sorry, not
interested." It doesnt have to be as blunt as I am saying. The blocking can be
very subtle. What theyre doing is blocking any form of intimacy with you,
blocking your energy in a way that keeps you out and keeps them in control.
[1:10:09]
What I like to say, my favorite image for the blocker is once youve got the
energy system that you are working with, you say, okay, this person is dominant
energy modality because we all have many energy modalities. We often have a
dominant one. This person's dominant energy modality is blocking. I'm going to
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go along the wall, keep looking for the gate, looking for the entry point, where is
the place or an inroad.
Maybe it seems superficial that you find place of contact or the guard is off-duty.
Maybe its the persons interest. Its a way of perceptibility to be seen and
noticed and complimented, whatever it is. My experience tells me the blocker
has a place, has a gate, has a secret gate where the blocking guard is off-duty. It
is like the divine structure universe says, "There is a way into this person. You
just have to stay with it and recognize it."
Its a little different with energy system. I call it the bounder which is very similar
with where the energy blocker blocks and controls, the energy bouncer is more
hostile. Energy bouncer also had trauma or hurt or wounding, doesnt want the
energy to come in and so they push back. Theyre in your face: "Not a good idea.
Not now." Anything that you send, the energy you send in comes back to you at
double the velocity and you say, "Wow, what did I do? What did I do to deserve
this?" Once you recognize this is the persons energy system then it begins that
process of learning how to read them.
So with the bouncer, what you have to do is not bounce back. So it is a different
response and the response to the blocker. It's the bouncing energy. What
escalates is when you push back, and thats exactly in a sense what the bouncers
looking for so they can get their energy twice as alpha, twice as in your face.
Theres no winning. Theres only conflict thats going to arise and its only
whoever is the most dominant will win that situation.
So with the bouncer, with that energy of hostile arrogance, in your face, pushing
around alpha males dominating, you've got the picture, let it flow through you.
You become nonreactive as if nothing was said to you, nothing happened. That
again sounds counterintuitive. In fact, after a while thats the beginning of the
way of modeling to the other person how to take energy and not misuse it and
not dominate with it.
Theres more in the book on all of this energy process. The sponges and other
energy systems, more to be found, I would say, in our own peacemaking
community, certainly in the activist community. The sponge is the opposite of
the blocker and the bouncer. The sponge lets in, they let in everything. They feel
somehow "If I take it on, it will get better. If I do it, it will get done. Maybe it was
my fault in the first place. Maybe I didnt do enough. If I do more, if I work
harder, maybe Ill be seen, maybe Ill be recognized, maybe Ill save the world."
[1:15:00]

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Thomas Merton calls this a form of violence against the self, inversion to take on
too much, to keep saying "Its me who should do it." It's violence against you. It
comes from, again, patterns of experience. "The way I deal with my guilt or my
shame is taking on more. It must be because theres something wrong with me."
That thought must have happened early in childhood. So the sponge just keeps
soaking and soaking until the breakdown. Theres a crashing. The sponge cant
hold it anymore water and it crashes.
The case of the bouncer and the blocker, they have locked the energy all their
life and then it finally comes to them as a heart attack. It breaks through because
its an optical illusion of energy. You can actually do this. Energy doesnt bounce
away at all. It stays right there waiting to be processed. Thats what we know
about the energy of the universe. It never goes away. It only gets transformed.
Again, this personal style I call zapping or the zapper lives in that optical illusion.
All you need to do is look away. "Oh, lets go have a drink. Oh, lets go to the
movie. Oh, lets smoke a joint. Oh, lets do anything to distract us from that pain
and that suffering that we dont want to do." Eventually, that illusion that you
can run away from catches up with you and you crash.
So that means there has to be an energy processing system that is
transformational, and many of us have learned that we can transform any
energy that comes at us. It's the deepest code of contemporary peacemaking
that we see from the most deeply wounded, from people like Azim that in fact
you can take in and transform the most hurtful, poisonous, toxic, painful, hurtful
energy.
In order to do that, you have to spend time with it. You have to name it. You
have to see its nature. You have to witness it. You have to be it. You have to
allow it to be bitter. And the energy will start moving. It might move as tears. It
might move his anger. All those things are reflections. The energy is in
movement and you move with that energy in the transformational process. You
listen to the energy. You look at the energy.
Once you do, that energy starts to shift to become refined eventually. It is in fact
the root system of your own compassionate nature, your ability to see how
theres pain, to be with others pain. If youd been with your own, everything
that you can do unto yourself, you will then be able to do unto others and it
starts off as an inversion of that, doesnt it. Everything that everybody has done
to you, youll do back at them.
What if we reverse that and we say, "Everything you do unto yourself, you can
then do for others. Forgive yourself, you can forgive others. Heal yourself, you
can help heal others"? Form the toxic rage, the blocked anger, whatever it is, the
19

disappointment, the guilt, the shame. All energy can be processed upward and
transformed.
So weve moved through quite a lot of material tonight, but I think we need that
big overview of how profound the peace movement has become in terms of its
ability to communicate nonviolently, to practice the variety of skillful dialogic
processes, to really enact profound listening, and to reach energy mastery.
With that, Philip, Ill hand it back to you.
Philip:

Wow, James. This was a fully loaded class. Thank you.

James:

Yeah.

Philip:

Yeah. James, this is quite a bit of material. I just want to again I have not come
across such comprehensive overview. So thank you for that one. I want to
mention to people that Cultivating Peace has this material in there so I
encourage you, if you want a deeper dive to check there.

[1:20:12]
James, I assume we have time for some questions and comments, right? So if
you would like to share any questions or comment, please go ahead and press 1
on the phone. And if you are on the webcast, please go ahead and type in your
comments there.
Well, while people are doing that, James, I just want to mention a couple of
quick anecdotes. One was in Sierra Leone where I saw how similar to the story
about the person with the mugging, street kids in Sierra Leone have been used in
election for manipulation. The staff we had at Search for Common Ground went
to the street kids and interviewed them for a radio program and the kids were
really surprised that people were taking them seriously, acknowledging them
and listening to them.
And then the staff played the radio programs on the airwaves and then went
back to the kids with a bag of rice and cooked with them and sat down. And
these were kids that were living on the streets and politicians would come and
hire them to do violence. The kids, hearing their voice from the radio and having
the staff sit around talking with them, they suddenly had a sense of self-worth
that they hadnt had before.
They shared on the radio about their experience being manipulated. They asked
them, "What would you want to do if you could?" because they were tired of
being manipulated. And they said they like to be election monitors. So they
20

mobilized hundreds of kids across Sierra Leone who were election monitors
which was quite big because of the election before there's an incredible
violence. That was part of what contributed to a peaceful election there.
So this thing about really acknowledging the worth of other people and really
fully listening plays out on interpersonal and international levels.
Still waiting for some hands to come up here. Okay. I see we have [Participant].
[Participant], please go ahead.
Participant:

James, I was just wondering what were the resources that allowed you to
understand listening so well because I do also think that it is a vital and integral
part of developing peace within communities to be able to initiate dialogue but
then understand what's being said to you.
So what insight or what tools or what lessons brought you that wonderful
understanding of listening?

James:

Oh, thank you. I had a big moment in Amnesty International when -- in fact, it's
around that death penalty report too. I contacted Jean Houston, whom you may
know of, and asked her -- I didnt know her but I asked her to help me think
about creative ways to bring the death penalty to the national consciousness. So
FedExed her the report at her request.
A couple of days later we talked about it. It was a very pivotal moment for me
because she said, "You know, I'm sorry to tell you that this report is part of
telling the same story that has the story of abuse and hurt and shame and
wrongdoing and cruelty in so many ways. How do you really lift people and
transform the story and create a new narrative?" Start reorienting your own
process.

[1:24:56]
I actually went to her Mystery School. She was kind of saying the neurological
circuitry is laid down for us to listen in a particular way and our evolutionary
development calls for us to listen in a new way and then all those years of
dialogic process of just deep, deep, deep listening.
There's a new book out called How Do You Pray? They had contacted me about
it. They're asking different authors of how they pray. I said the way I pray is
listening in dialogue, listening so deeply into the pain and suffering of another
person until it breaks, until it moves, until it shifts in some profound way. How
do you feel for me? You feel the glory. You just feel absolutely that somehow
concentration in the field of being with each other and saying, "I am totally
21

present for you" is a very remarkable shift. And then at Noetic Sciences when I
was president there just learning how the cognitive neuro system works and the
frequencies, that aspect of it.
So it's a composite deepest gift came for me with that conversation with Jean
Houston which is we've got to listen to each other in a way that shifts the story.
And then we've got to tell the story in a way that people can hear new
possibilities.
Participant:

Beautiful. Thank you. That's remarkable. That's one of the things that I've been
most amazed about what we have available to us in this life, in this lifetime is the
wonderful teachers that are available -- Jean Houston and yourself and so many
others. I'm right now living Jean Houston's book that's, I dont know, 30 years
old, The Peacemaker, the story of the man from the North in Iroquois.

James:

Yeah, wonderful book.

Participant:

Yes.

James:

I'm starting to travel with that book, you know. She named the name of the
Peacemaker.

Participant:

Yes.

James:

Some of the Native tribes that we dont actually say his name in public. It's a
wonderful book. Thank you.

Participant:

Thank you.

Philip:

Thank you, [Participant].

James:

I think we're just getting out of time here, Philip.

Philip:

Well, we have just one real quick from [Participant]. It's her birthday, James.
[Participant], happy birthday!

Participant:

Thank you, guys. This is like my birthday gift from heaven. This is one of my
favorite lessons, James. So when Philip said, wow, this is exactly how I feel. I love
this particular lesson. I just wanted to share really quickly that I have the blessing
this week to attend a training at RJOY, Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth,
who hosted David Anderson Hooker, if that's a name you know, and it was in
honor of acknowledging this is the 20th anniversary of the Rwandan genocide.
He came to do one of his trainings which is called Transforming Historical Harms.
I was so blessed to be able to go to that and there were several Oakland Peace
22

Ambassadors there as well as people from the school district and other places
that really wanted have that kind of thing.
The part that just touched me the most is my question to Rev. Hooker was if I
hold in my heart something like the Israel-Palestine conflict will end in my
lifetime and your lifetime and not just keep going or the violence in inner cities in
this lifetime, what is it going to take? What's the formula? I was so touched and
kind of surprised that what he taught of and demonstrated was one of those
fishbowl exercises. If it's just literally a 1% change in the way the conversation is
being erected, as you talked about dialogue and all the things you talked about
the energy.
He used an example of racial issues here in Oakland and going from like you
approached it just because you're a racist or why did you say that? Just that one
switch of a question. What were you thinking when you said that? And then that
next 1% and the next 1% and the next 1%, all of them having a totally different
energetic exchange and a totally different conversation. So just to see that that
can happen at the community level and the country level and that kind of thing
then to realize it can happen just for us as a person.
[1:30:24]
Today on my decade birthday and I havent been on my bicycle for ten years, I'm
about to take a ride to take that one first mile again, just these little tiny changes
are amazing and just the courage to move that forward.
James:

Absolutely, [Participant]. Thank you so much. That's so true. It reminds me in the

Israeli-Palestinian mutual acknowledgment dialogue or is this moment in which
it was a very dramatic moment which this Palestinian took out a key and it
looked like a key from the 18th century, a very old key, and he said, "This is the
key to our family home which is now with an Israeli family living in it. One day
I'm going to turn the key and open that door."
An Israeli psychologist stood up and in a most compassionate and powerful
statement he said with deep, deep integrity, "I relate to every part of your pain
about being cast out from your house and having the key to your house. I want
to tell you, you are never ever going back. You are never going back to that
house." It was very, very emotional but the Palestinian broke open. We can
communicate the most painful things to each other and when we do, it can be so
much profound opening. In fact, he let go. He just let the tears come through in
the acknowledgment of the reality that the key could no longer symbolize the
return.

23

These communicative interactions with each other to me and to you, I know, are
sacred and profound and do move the game, do change the game.
Participant:

They dont always know how it unfolds but just hang in the game and take that
next step. Thank you.

Philip:

Beautiful. Thank you, [Participant], and happy birthday.

All right, James, do you have some homework for us?

James:

Oh, yes, the homework. We just got the seven kinds of listening: transactional,
cognitive process, emotional outcome, postural, inquiry, heart-centered and
integral. Listen in on how you are listening to others and notice how other
people are listening to you. Share it on Facebook. Share it in class. Just do the
magic of listening which is you can listen to yourself and to the way you're
listening and to the way other people are listening to you and see what
revelations come from that simple quiet act of listening to the listening.
That's the homework.
Thank you so much, Philip. I love you. Bye-bye.

Philip:

Thank you, James. Love you and congratulations on Session 7 of Class 7.

James:

Very good.

Philip:

All right, James. Have a beautiful evening there.

We would be breaking out into breakout groups now. So if you're on the phone
and would not be joining the breakout, please go ahead and hang up. And if you
are on the phone and want to stay in breakouts, just be there. If you're on the
webcast and want to join, please go ahead and call in on the number that was
emailed to you or you can call this magical general PIN number. The general
number is country code 1-310-409-2027 and the PIN number is 563009.
Again, the purpose of the breakout groups is an opportunity for you to share
with one another your experience with the class as well as your homework. It
looks like we're going to have small groups tonight so if you hold on in just a
second, I'll have it set up here.
All right, folks, so wherever you are in the world, whether it's morning, evening
or night, have a peaceful rest of your time. We look forward to being with you
next week when we have Rita Marie Johnson and Emily Hine.
24

All right. Bye-bye.

[1:36:22]

End of Audio

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