PROBLEMAS CON LA SUCURSAL EN CHILE

(Memo interno escrito por el gerente general de una compaa

multinacional de capitales norteamericanos, en reaccin a la cultura
existente dentro de su filial en Chile).
From : General Manager
To : All spanish speaking staf
Subject : Improper Language Usage
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
establishment in Santiago that ofensive language is commonly used by
our spanish speaking staf. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
policy, is highly unprofessional and ofensive to both visitors and
staf. Therefore, all personnel will immediately adhere to the following
rules:
1. Words like guevn, conchetumadre or hijoeputa and other such
expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic
efect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2. You will not say la cag when someone makes a mistake, or la est
cagando if you see somebody being reprimended, or qu cag when a major
mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are
utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any
circumstances will be referred to as hijoeputa, culiao, la puta que lo
pari, guen conchesumare or chuchaesumare.
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de gueas nor
will persons who lack iniciative be referred to as cagn, maricn or
pelotudo.
5. Unusual or creative ideas ofered by the management are not to be
referred to as pajas mentales.
6. Do not say puta que hincha las hueas if a person is persistent.
Furthermore, you must not say cagamos (refer to item #2) when a matter
becomes excessibly complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate a la
chucha nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with Que mierdas
queris?
8. Under no circumstances should you ever call our elderly industrial
partners viejos culiaos.
9. Last but by no means least, after reading this note please don't say
me la paso por la raja. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
Thank you.