Ruth Vennetta Naylor

We do not cry alone

We do not laugh alone
No matter how joyous or hard to bear, someone has gone before
My Grandmother has gone before
My Grandmother laughs with me
My Grandmother cries with me

By Michael Shaw
 Ruth Vennetta Naylor
This biography is a compilation of
the memories and pictures from
Ruth’s daughters Mary Lou Shaw,
Venetta Abbott, Janet Dutton,
Chrissie Abbott and Ruth’s sister
Verna Cleverly.
My grandmother, Ruth Vennetta
Naylor, passed away July 15, 1957
about 12 years before I was born.
My mother has informed me that
when I was a small child, I would
sometimes ask older ladies if they
would be my grandmother. Writing
this biography has allowed me to
become closer to her.
stood up a bullet hit the gun handle
he was carrying across his chest and
it glanced off. Finally, he met face to
face with one of the prisoners. The
prisoner had a gun. The prisoner
pulled the trigger. The gun clicked.
The gun was empty, miraculously
sparing Frank’s life.
Frank Sefton Naylor and Rhoda Lois
Laird were married March 9, 1904 in
Salt Lake City.

Ruth Vennetta Naylor was born on

October 4, 1904 in Salt Lake City,
Utah. She had multiple roles
including, daughter, sister, wife,
mother, provider, stepmother, and
grandmother. Her life like many of
ours was a fabric of many different
stories and relationships. Through
these different events and roles, the
significant people in her life such as
her children, family and friends Frank Sefton Naylor and Rhoda Lois Laird
viewed her from different vantage Wedding Photo, March 1904
points. Her spirit remained strong.
Out of the ordinary, the Ruth was born on October 4, 1904
extraordinary is accomplished. Ruth and from the very beginning of
Vennetta Naylor was extraordinary. Ruth’s life she overcame the odds. In
1956, Venetta, Ruth’s daughter
Just one year before Ruth was born, visited the home where her mother
her father, Frank Sefton Naylor was was born. Frank Naylor described
a prison guard and involved in a Ruth as a baby to Venetta. He said,
famous prison break in October "When your Mother was born she
1903. He barely escaped death three was so small we put her in a shoe
times. During the attempted break box, she was so tiny, and then we
out as he stooped to push the bell to put that shoe box on the opened
warn the other guards, a bullet oven door on our big kitchen range to
whizzed over his head. When he
keep her warm. We didn't know if
she would make it, but she did."

Ruth at about 6 months old Ruth about 1908

Ruth about 1908 Childhood years

The Naylor Family lived in Salt Lake
City until 1910. During that time
Ruth became an older sister to Lois
and Frank Sefton Jr.

Between 1910 and 1921, the Naylor’s

lived in Plano, just outside of
Rexburg, Idaho. Ruth’s father went
into the sheep and farming business.

Ruth helped her parents with chores

as well as tending her younger
brothers and sisters. Ed Naylor,
Ruth’s little brother, called her Mama
Ruth. They had a special
relationship. Eighth Grade Graduation

Two other brothers, Marvin and
Garth were born. “Ruth was the
favored child of her father. She was
active and daring when she was
young.” –Chrissie Abbott
“Mother was proud of her graduation
from the eighth grade in Rexburg,
Idaho. She taught us that school
was very important. Encouragement
was for us to attend every school
day, if possible. She had a strict rule
that if you stayed home from school,
you must stay in bed. No flimsy
excuses were accepted.” –Mary Lou
Shaw

Around 1920

Ruth about 1917 “Mother had cardiac insufficiency

anorexia, or as she and everyone
else called it “Leakage of the Heart”.
The valves did not completely close
as they should so she never had
sufficient oxygen in her blood. This
came about when she was sixteen as
the result of rheumatic fever. Her
sister Lois had it, too, and shortly
after Mother had a heart attack, (I
am using the words she used), and
that is when Grandpa Naylor decided
Austin, Ruth and Others on an outing near Nampa
to move away from Rexburg,
Idaho, to a lower elevation because
After Ruth had her first child, her
his girls couldn't make it where
mother, Rhoda, had another child.
they were living; they had difficulty
Verna was born September 14, 1925
breathing and couldn't get enough
and was Ruth’s youngest sister.
oxygen. They moved to a farm in
Both Ruth’s daughter Lou and her
Nampa, Idaho, by train.” –Venetta
sister Verna were born in the Naylor
Abbott
home on Sunny Ridge in Nampa, ID.
When Lois and Ruth were older, they
would sometimes contend about who
had the worst heart problem or who
had accomplished more considering
their condition. They both died from
heart failure within three months of
each other in 1957.

While living in Nampa, Ruth met

Austin Abbott. Austin wrote about
meeting Ruth in his biography.
“When George and the girls came out
they paused on the church steps.
The sun cast a light upon Ruth
lighting her up…. Ruth stepped aside
and came and sat by me. From then
on I had a date with Ruth when I
came home every Saturday evening.”
June 25, 1924 Ruth went from being
a daughter and older sister to being a
wife. She married Austin Neal
Abbott in Salt Lake City, Utah. As a
couple, they lived in Nampa, Idaho.
On April 25, 1925, she became a
mother of her first daughter, Lou
(Mary Lou Shaw).
The Naylor Family – Frank, Lois, Ed, Sefton,
Garth, Marv, Ruth, Rhoda, Verna
Ruth’s second daughter, Ruth Fay
(Fay), was born February 6, 1927.
During child birth Ruth had a near
death experience. “She rose up to
the ceiling and saw herself lying in
the bed, Grandma Naylor and the
Doctor working with her then she
went toward the bright light, it was
like a tunnel of ultra bright light. At
the end there was a personage there
who told her to go back because her
work was not finished, which she
did, and woke up in the bed.” –
Venetta Abbott

Ruth named her third daughter

Venetta. “When Venetta was born,
March 5, 1930, Grandmother Naylor
and Verna came to care for Ruth.
Venetta was born at home and mom
stayed in bed for ten days. She
struggled to walk when she first got
up.” –Mary Lou Shaw

“Fay said, Oct. 2003, telephone

conversation with me: ‘Mother
loved babies, she said they were
pure, they had just come down
from heaven and being with God.’” –
Venetta Abbott

Ruth’s children: Lou, Fay, Venetta and Neal

Ruth’s fourth child, Austin Neal

Abbott Jr. “Neal” was born August 3,
1932.

Ruth’s daughter’s: Venetta, Fay, and Lou

There were difficulties in Ruth and

Austin’s marriage. She took her four
children and separated from Austin
for almost a year. Around 1933 she
and the children lived with her
parents in Utah.
The following picture was “taken at
the Sugarhouse ‘studio’ in Salt Lake
City and was taken after Neal was
born (August 1932). We had left Dad
and were living with mother’s folks in
SLC. It’s the beautiful one with the
fur and the pearls. She told me they
belonged to the Studio. She has a
fingerwave –popular in the 30’s. She
was 28 or 29, mother of four
children.” -Venetta Abbott
During the summers from about
1927 to about 1940 Ruth and her
family would occasionally travel to
visit her parents at their ranch in
Hobble Creek, UT.
“The Naylor Ranch” in Hobble Creek about 1933
The LDS Church asked Ruth to be a
teacher in Primary. She taught the
Trail Builder boys. “Ruth Abbott was
apprehensive and nervous about
teaching this group. She heard they
were quite rowdy but what a terrific
job she did with them! When Janet
was born, March 18, 1937, the Trail
Builder boys came to visit. Mother
asked them to choose a name for the
new baby. The chosen names were
tied on Ruth or Janet. They asked
me to break the tie. Fay’s full name
was Ruth Fay Abbott, so the lot fell
to the name of Janet.” –Mary Lou
Shaw

Ruth Vennetta Naylor

In a letter dated February 26 1934,

Austin wrote his brother, Stowell. “I
just got back from Salt Lake. I found
Ruth feeling better toward me, and
left her much better toward me. …
She is going to night school taking
typing and English. That don’t be out
till May 1st.” Eventually Ruth
returned to Austin in Idaho. Ruth’s daughter Janet
“I remember Mother rocking her
babies to sleep singing ‘Go tell Aunt
Lucy her old grey goose is dead sir.
The one that she's been saving to
make a feather bed sir.’ Second verse
same as the first. It was really very
delightful hearing her sing and
seeing her nestling the babies and
rocking them.” –Mary Lou Shaw
From 1929 to 1937 Ruth and her
family lived on 316 19th Ave South in
the town of Nampa, Idaho.
316 19th Ave South House (Picture taken years
later)
“When we lived in town, she sold
some of her homemade candy to the
pinochle card playing groups. She
excelled in candy with divine divinity,
creamy fudge with walnuts, and
taffy. Cooling the candy on a heavily
buttered platter was one technique
she had. The candy rarely, if ever,
went to sugar. Mother enjoyed
playing cards, especially with our
neighbors, Louise and Ernest
Frazier.” –Mary Lou Shaw
In 1937, they constructed a house in
the country on South Power Line
Road. “Our parents purchased the
property from grandfather, John
Austin Abbott.” –Mary Lou Shaw
Fay wrote a poem about Ruth’s
brother Ed coming to help dig a well
and repair their house.
UNCLE ED STOOD TALL
Ed offered to help Mom re-locate,
The half built house was in a terrible state,
Problems were too great to anticipate.
A Greek-like God of the human race,
Ed’s body moved with dignity and grace.
He soon changed the pace of the new home
place.
Everyone knew Ed was his own man,
But without being asked, he’d lend a hand,
From digging a well, to tilling the land.
Ed climbed to the roof and shingles flew,
The leaks stopped, he knew what to do,
As a fix-it man, Ed was a guru.
The fish Ed caught brought cheers of
acclaim,
A sharp shooting hunter with deadly aim,
Ed filled the table with birds and game.
We cried when Ed went home in the fall,
Going back to school was a demand call,
Uncle Ed, with the sparkling eyes, stood tall.
- Ruth Fay Callahan
“After we moved out on the acreage,
Mother invited the Trail Builder boys
to come out there. They would ride
their bikes out and build caves along
the drainage ditch. Even though they
were out of Primary they would come
to the parties we had there. One time
my grandfather, John Austin Abbott,
entertained them. He told us about
his mission to New Zealand, played
his accordion and did a Maori
dance.” –Mary Lou Shaw
Fay wrote about the walk she and
her Mother had to the Lantern Light
Parade from the house on South
Power Line Road. “This happening Chrissie Eveline was born September
was a double treat for me because 19, 1942.
when you are a member of a large
family, it is very difficult to get your
Mother alone for a private chat. I
learned at an early age the value of
listening to this woman who had only
been ‘schooled’ to the eighth grade,
but had managed to earn a master's
degree in life by studying human
nature. She always seemed to know
why people did things. My dreams,
disappointments, fears, and
accomplishments were put in their
proper place after she had looked at
them with her profound insight. She
was a rare human being who valued
excellence and could inspire others
to search for the larger self, lurking
within, trying to burst out. A mean
brother became the brave and noble
son, pesky sisters became virtuous
daughters, or else!” –Fay Callahan

Venetta had a conversation with Fay

in which Fay said, “in essence:
‘Mother knew me, she always knew
what I needed. Once, when we lived
on South Power line Road in Nampa,
Idaho, she took me down to the
basement (which was only dug out
under the back porch) to the far
corner away from the water pump,
and told me that this was my place, I
could come down here and have
privacy, that it was no one else's
hideout, it was my secret place. At
that time in my life that was just
what I needed. It was cool in the
summer, and warm in the winter,
and I loved having my own space in
which to think and dream.’” –Venetta
Abbott
Two more children were born. John
Frank was born June 18, 1940 and
Ruth’s son John and daughter Chrissie Eveline
Austin Abbott was excommunicated
in 1941 from the LDS Church for
teaching false doctrine. (Ref: FHLC:
007518-2513 pt.3; LDS Ward
Records.)
In 1944, Ruth and Austin decided to
move from Nampa to Independence
Missouri. They took a roundabout
route traveling along the coast of
California in a “Panel Truck”.
On that trip, Stephen Edward was
born on September 3, 1944 in Glen
Eden Beach Oregon.

Ruth and Stephen about 1948
In Independence Austin and Ruth
separated and it eventually ended in
divorce
Ruth in Independence about 1948
“September 14, 1948, Mother
divorced Austin Abbott. (Court
Records Bk 117 pg 210). I went with
her to the proceedings in
Independence. Dad had already left
the family and gone to Salt Lake City,
inviting all to go with him. No one
wanted to go. During their ugly
bitter quarrels through the years, he
had threatened her that the children
would be restored to him.” –Mary Lou
Shaw
“There was intensified fighting and
bickering before the divorce. Austin
left in June of 1948 when I was 5
and I was fearful. There was fear
that Austin would kidnap his
younger children. Our mother had
to care for and support all of the
family except for our sister, Fay, who
was with Joe Callahan. Five of us
children were in school, our youngest
brother Stephen was only three, and
our oldest sister Lou was a young
adult. After Austin left, the family
continued to live above the Sugar
Bowl Café in Independence, MO until
about 1949. Mother had the
restaurant on the first floor from
October 1944 until October 1947
when the RLDS church, who owned
the property, wanted to use it for a
bakery whose owner was a member
of their church. The family, which
was now comprised of the four little
kids – Janet, John, Chrissie and
Stephen – then moved to Skelly Inn
on HWY 40 near Lee’s Summit.
Mother had the café downstairs and
we lived above it. Later we lived off
Independence Square in the
basement of Dagwood’s Café on
Lexington Ave. The basement had a
dirt floor. Mother worked in the café
upstairs.” –Chrissie Abbott
Ruth was a great cook and all
through her life she prepared
wonderful meals and shared them
with family and friends. “Beef, pork,
chicken fried steak, hamburger meat
loaf, chicken, trout, salmon, bass,
catfish, chicken and dumplings,
potatoes and gravy, vegetables, corn,
tomatoes, salads, jellos, fruits,
desserts, and home made root beer
were the things she prepared. She
received compliments and
appreciation for her cooking. Before
we found and settled in the Sugar
Bowl, mother had a dream that she
was cooking for a lot of people.” –
Mary Lou Shaw
water on 40 acres. Our mother and
Henry built a small house there. The
roof and siding of the house were
constructed of metal sheeting. How
noisy it was during the rain and hail
storms! Later we moved into a large
farmhouse nearby which was also on
40 acres with a cistern for our water
supply. The farms and woods were
peaceful places for me. It was a time
when I richly enjoyed the beauty of
nature.” –Chrissie Abbott

1951

Ruth

Ruth met Henry Dutton and they

eventually married December 17,
1951. “He did not care for us
children but loved Ruth. I felt Henry
often made Ruth choose him or her
children. Henry had a connection
with Judge Randall, a prominent
politician, who influenced Henry into
moving to a rural wooded acreage
that would soon become a huge
recreational area called Lake Ruth and Henry Dutton
Jacomo. Our family moved out of
Independence to Blue Springs, MO On January 25, 1955, Ruth wrote a
and into a home without running letter to, Mary Lou. Mary Lou had
just given birth to Mary a stillborn.
“It is so terrible to lose the baby and
one never knows about such things
why they happen. Of course we are
to be tried in all ways. I guess it is
the way we act when trials come to
determine what kind of people we
are. I guess if we pray for strength
we can go through anything. I feel
sorry for you as that seems so
terrible to go through.” - Ruth Dutton
The handwritten letter:
“Probably the summer of 1955, the
kids and I were at her place in the
country near Blue Springs, MO, in
the big farm house. My children
were 3 and 5. We were in her
bedroom, which was downstairs.
Suddenly she grabbed a hairbrush
off the dresser and said to Buz and
April, “I’m your mama’s mama, do
you want me to spank her?” They
were wide eyed – so she repeated it
and said “I mean it!” Then the two of
them broke out into wide smiles and
nodded their heads “yes”. She
whacked me –I was startled- and
then she said “Shall I do it again?”
The kids were delighted, busy
nodding and saying “Yes”. She
whacked me on the bottom a couple
more times. By this time, the kids
were laughing so she did it some
more. I wanted to get out of there.
When she stopped, she laughed and
said, “See your mama can be
spanked, too.”…When I saw how
delighted they were and laughing out
loud, it helped me to realize it is not
easy to be small. She knew them
and understood.” -Venetta Abbott
June 1955
“In the spring of 1956, Mother came
to visit us at 615 Haggin Ave, North
Sacramento. She wanted her
children to see the Pacific Ocean.
Mother sat high on the beach with
her back to the ocean. (She had
received her fill of camping on the grandmother he ever had seen.” –
beach in 1944 when we lived in a Janet Dutton
‘lean-to-shelter’ with a camp stove in
South Laguna Beach, California.
World War II was in full process and
we could find no other place to live.
For that moment in time, the Abbotts
became ‘beach bums.’) Gayle and
Keith liked visiting their grandmother
(Abbott) Dutton. They enjoyed
swimming in the ocean with Venetta,
Chrissie, John, Stephen, and us. On
the way home, we stopped at the
Milk Farm for yummy milkshakes,
etc. Bob Shaw and Henry Dutton
were the drivers.” – Mary Lou Shaw
March 1956
Ruth went to visit her father and
siblings in Utah. Venetta reported “Mother told me
about going to Atchison and being
with Janet when Lynn was born, she
was elated, her eyes were shining as
she tried to express to me the miracle
of birth, and how thrilled she was to
be there, to witness it, to be with
Janet. This happened in March of
1957, shortly before she became ill.
She died in the summer of that year”
–Venetta Abbott

The Naylor Family in 1956 – Ed, Garth, Marv,

Sefton, Verna, Ruth, Frank, Lois

“Janet said (telephone recorded

message): ‘Hey, Venetta, in the
swimming pool this morning I
remembered what was so wonderful
about Mother, when we had little
kids was when Mother became our
friend, then she was our friend, but
before she was Mother. I don't know,
but it was the sweetest relationship
when I had children, and when she March 1956 – Janet Dutton, Mary Dutton, Bob
went to Atchison when Lynn was Dutton and Ruth Dutton
born the doctor said she was the best
“When Mother was sick, she had
been in the hospital a long time, the
doctor let her come home for a brief
time. She was bedfast and living in
the two-story farm house in Blue
Springs. I went out to see her with
my kids. She was lying in bed in the
bedroom just off the living room on
the ground floor, and we looked in
from the open doorway, she called
April and Buz, "Come Buzzy, Come
April, come on in and see me. They
ran to her side, Buz held her hand;
April leaned on the edge of the bed
and talked to her. Soon I came in
too, she was really too weak to have
visitors. But she called to the kids,
she wanted them.” –Venetta Abbott
Ruth Dutton
Chrissie wrote a school paper two
years after her mother’s passing and
here are some excerpts from that
essay written September 11, 1959.
“A very wise man once wrote, ‘We
never know the value of water until
the well runs dry.’ During our lives
we often neglect or fail to appreciate
the things we have until they are
gone… My mother… always had time
for us. She would see that our
needs, whatever they might be, were
met. She was both mother and
father to us. Our religious education
was very important to her. She
always saw that we made it to
church and Sunday school every
Sunday morning. …in 1957… she
called me into her room one day after
the doctor had left and had me listen
to her heart. It was faint and
irregular… She told me that she
knew she didn’t have too much
longer to live. I returned to my room
and prayed hard that she would live.
There were many more prayers after
that, and although the prayers didn’t
keep her alive, I know they did help
her… My mother passed away on
July 15, 1957.” –Chrissie Abbott
Ruth was an exceptional person.
From the very beginning of her life
she experienced hardship. Even
after having rheumatic fever at age
sixteen and then developing a severe
heart condition, she accomplished
extraordinary things including
raising eight children. She loved
them. Compiling the accounts of her
life has brought me closer to her.
Now as I see Ruth’s descendants
such as nieces, aunts or even my
own daughters, instead of seeing just
them, I see glimpses of my
grandmother as well.