Running head: HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

Lynn Houstons Ways to Engage Donors and Judges

Angelica Cramr
Antioch University Santa Barbara
Academic Writing 310
September 8, 2015

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

She has worked as a Hollywood photographer, chief pilot for a flight school, and a captain
for an airline. Lynn Houston is an amazing woman with lot of great experiences. When she

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:38

Kommentar [1]: Cool opener, Cramer. Try
to get just a BIT more parallelism in here: she
has worked as an X, a Y, and a Z. The
sentence might flow a bit more if you get all
those as/ans in there.

graduated from Antioch University Santa Barbara four years ago she wanted to do something

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:38

new with her life, so in June 2011 she founded A Different Point of View. Today, she is the

Kommentar [2]: Remember: this is a

research-based argument. Is this necessary?
Does it help further your argument in a
meaningful way?

president for her non-profit organization and she is also the head of the marketing and
communication division at Santa Barbara airport. Lynn has a lot of passion for writing, and for
her it is important to write form the heart. When she is writing the mission statement and
speeches for her non-profit, A Different Point of View, she uses personality, passion, and stories
to engage donors and judges.
A Different Point of View (ADPOV) is a non-profit organization that shows youth how to
become captains of their own lives at the same time as they teach them how to fly an airplane.
They help youths in the ages 14-19, who are in danger of losing their way in life, to understand
that they can be and do anything they want. ADPOV offers an aviation career program for the
youths to participate in, and In the program the students participate in self-awareness, air traffic
controllers, aircraft rescues and fire fighters, aircraft mechanics, and other leaders in the aviation
field (Houston, 2015). Though the aviation career program the youths gain a new understanding

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:39

Kommentar [3]: Avoid
something/thing. Its super vague and
imprecise. (Think: what do you mean by
something?)
Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:40
Kommentar [4]: Awesome! This tells me
what youre arguing/claiming in this paper,
and what youre basing that on (the mission
statement and speeches).

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:41

Kommentar [5]: Any time there is a
potentially unclear term that youre using in an
academic piece, you want to try to tease it
out as much as possible. What do you mean by
youth here? Hold old, exactly? From
where? And why that specific population?
Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:42
Kommentar [6]: This might just be a
Zack thing, but any time you have a really
cool/interesting phrase within your paper that
captures the heart of your focus, you might
want to consider using it as the title of your
piece.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:42

Kommentar [7]: Ah ha! Maybe include
this earlier?
Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:45

of what the aviation world has to offer and how they can succeed within that world. They also
show the students what the rest of the world has to offer and how they can be successful in that
world.
ADPOV help their students to gain self-confidence, self-advocacy, and a belief in themselves
that they can and will succeed in this world. The organizations purpose is to give the students the
tool to live a full and meaningful life, and it could be through a career in aviation or another
career that the feel passionate about. ADPOV helps youth understand who they are and what
matters the most to them. By demonstrating different points of views, they show youths that

Kommentar [8]: I really like the context

about ADPOV that youre providing here, but
Im not ecstatic about the way that youre
using this citation. What are you hoping to
achieve with this citation/quote? To describe
the program in its own words?
Give me some more guidance about how/why
youre using it.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:47

Kommentar [9]: 3 things. 1, I think you
mean through and not thought. 2, each of
these sentences sounds a bit vagueIm
wondering OK, offer WHAT, exactly? And
... [1]
3, youve already established that the program
Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:49
Kommentar [10]: Ditto, above. Youve
already established this. Either get right into
the specifics or scrap this. Remember: keep
... [2]

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

there is not just one way to do or be anything (Hawkins). Students get an understanding for what
they are capable of doing, and with their talents and skills they can bring something unique to this
world. To be able to give their students scholarships and chance to help them stay off the streets
ADPOV are depending on their donors.
When Lynn wrote the mission statement for her non-profit she wanted it to be powerful, and
have a strong impact on future donors. ADPOV mission statement is to engage, inspire, and
transform youth using flight lessons as a launching pad. Through aviation education and

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:49

Kommentar [11]: Id advise you to
refrain from using free-floating quotes (ie,
sentences that start and end with a quote). The
reader is probably going to be left wondering,
Who is saying/citing this, and how/why is it
relevant? Wheres it coming from? Try to
introduce the quote and give it context.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:52

Kommentar [12]: It seems like youre
trying to use this last word/idea of the
paragraph as a transition into the next
paragraphnice job. J

mentoring, we show students, a world theyve never seen before. Lynn chose to create a mission
statement with three powerful wordsengage, inspire, and transform that describes exactly what
the organization do for their youths. She wanted to make the statement as clear and descriptive as
possible, which she accomplished doing.
The style of the mission statement is strong with a straightforward tone. Putting three strong
and meaningful words together sets the tone for the entire mission statement. The tone and voice
are both important, because the tone should invite the audience to feel receptive to the message
and the voice should give the audience a sense of the writers identity (Losh, Alexander, Cannon,

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:52

Kommentar [13]: Effective use of dashes.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:53

Kommentar [14]: This paragraph wound
up a little flat for meis there any way to
introduce any interview data here? (Also, you
havent mentioned that you have interviewed
her, so it might come as a bit of a surprise
if/when you do begin to mention it thats
why its crucial to set the stage for your reader
right off the bat.)

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:54

Kommentar [15]: Already stated.

& Cannon, 2014). True the mission statement Lynn shows a lot of passion and power, she shows
that she believes in her students and that the organization is the right way to help them. Engage,
inspire, and transform are three words that gives the student a promise about the future and
informs the donors what the organization try to accomplish. ADPOV states that they will help
their students transform and give them a view of the world that they have never experience
before.
Lynn has also been writing speeches for the organization to engage donors and convince
judges. One of the speeches was for a fast pitch tournament and one was for the Adrienne Hall
Emerging Leadership Award. The fast pitch is a collaborative contest for non-profit

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:57

Kommentar [16]: This is coming across as
a lot of fluff, Cramer. Shes helping the youth
to empower themselves as pilots and beyond
(in life). what else can you say about all of
this? What about some of our major
concepts/terms? What about the interview
data?
It looks like youve got 10 pages which is well
above the minimum, so Id strongly suggest
deleting most of this redundant material. One
way to lose your reader is to belabor the
pointyou dont want to do that when youve
got such good material and interesting
thoughts.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:57

Kommentar [17]: This is a new topic,
which is totally OK, but Im curiouswhy am
I reading about judges all of a sudden. What
judges? What are they judging? Why?

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

organizations, where they get the chance to win cash by giving short speeches. Lynns pitch
impressed the judges and she won the competition, and earned $5,000 for her organization.
Lynn starts off her speech by talking to the audience as if they were on board on an airplane,
and she was the captain speaking. Ladies, this is your captain speaking. Welcome on board! I
invite you to sit back and relax and enjoy this short flight with a different point of view
(Houston, 2014). Immediately after the first sentence being said she has engaged her audience,
and given them a sense of what the speech is going to about. She starts telling a story about her
life, and she makes it really personal by telling the audience that she was a runaway and a thief.
She is talking about how she was struggling when she was younger, but she is also talking about
all of her successes. Telling a personal story gives the audience an image of who she is as a
person. It gives her an identity and creates a personal bond to the audience, which help her
engage and persuade the donor and the judges.
In the speech Lynn is also talking about the students in the organization, and that many of
them come from low-income households or the juvenile justice system. She mentions that many
of them have a lack of belief in their ability to succeed in this world. With this argument, Lynn
points out the students living conditions while trying to convince the donors of their situation.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 17:59

Kommentar [18]: Who is they here?
Me? Using pronouns can be tricky, and you
might want to steer clear of using too many of
them, unless its crystal-clear what theyre
referring to.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:01

Kommentar [19]: So cool. J J
Q for you: Why ladies? Is this organization
just for women, specifically? Does that
specific audience impact the way that Lynn
communicates?

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:03

Kommentar [20]: How about:
Immediately after announcing the first
sentence, she

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:04

Kommentar [21]: Whenever you use a
phrase twiceshe is talking aboutconsider
combining sentences and using it once.
She is talking about both her struggles and
successes

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:05

Kommentar [22]: Agreed. Nice follow-up
analysis to bring the point home.
Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:05
Kommentar [23]: Id like to suggest
changing up your word choice. How else can
you describe talking about?

She uses low-income households and juvenile justice system to point out the issue that the
student face, and to push the donors to take action. She uses proposal arguments to present the
issue that these youths have, and makes the donors wonder what they can do to help and how
they can do it.
Later in the speech Lynn also uses a personal story from one of her students to further
explain how close some of the students are to end up in the juvenile justice system, and how
ADPOV have and can help students get back on track.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:06

Kommentar [24]: Does she ask them
rhetorical questions? Is that a
feature/characteristic of this particular artifact?
(Also: wheres your interview data? If its
coming up, it might seem jammed together and
not evenly distributed.)

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:08

Kommentar [25]: To correctly
incorporate this block quote, start the next
sentence with
Lynn stated (or whatever), and then go into the
block quote without using quotes. They dont
need quotations marks.

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

Nicole has since the age of 11 been in and out of Juvenile Hall fighting her
way through the streets of Santa Maria. At 14, she attended their Aviation
Career Program. She was nervous and not at all trusting, but she agreed to
attend their leadership and self-awareness training. In the afternoon of that
first day they took her and the other students for their first flight lesson.
Nicole took off with her instructor, far away from her troubled life. Where
she went, how she went, and how far she flew were all up to her (Houston,
2014).
By using one of her students story Lynn makes the argument very personal, and it shows the
passions and love she has for her students. Using a real story is a good way to persuade the
audience, and it also makes it easier to make the audience feel engaged.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:08

Kommentar [26]: Is there anything else
interesting/important you can pull out of her
usage of this story? Something that helps
deepen your overall argument?

In the beginning of the story Lynn explains to her audience about the students struggle by
using words such as Juvenile Hall and fighting on the streets. It gives the audience an idea of how
much Nicole was struggling before she became a part of ADPOV. In the second part she explains
how Nicole took her flight lesson (life) in to her own hands, and that she was in control over
everything. This explains how the organization has helped Nicole, and how it can help other
students. With more donors ADPOV can help other students get on the right track. While talking
about her student Lynn uses pathos. Pathos is arguments that are based on emotions, and the
reason why she uses that is because she wants the audience to feel something. Nicoles story is a
sad and happy story that evokes a lot of emotions, such as sympathy and love. By evoking
emotions and make the audience feel something Lynn hope to create a personal bond between the
organization and the donors. In this case pathos is helpful and a good strategy to persuade the
donors to take action.
One of the strongest arguments Lynn makes in this speech is,

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:09

Kommentar [27]: Is it worth devoting a
whole paragraph to this concept? Right now,
its kind of buried within the paragraph.

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

Are you aware that there are over 800 children in the juvenile justice system
in Santa Barbara County and hundreds more who are in danger of losing their
way? A Different Point of View is forming strong partnership with probation
and Peoples Self Help Housing and other aviation organizations to help
theses youth find their very best selves (2014).
With this argument Lynn is questioning her audience by asking if they are aware of the high
number of youth that needs help. At the same time as she is claiming what ADPOV can do for
the students. In this argument she is using Logos, which is an argument based on facts and
reason. Writers stake out a claim and then present reasons that you should consider, or they may
present reasons and lay out a case that leads you to accept a claim in the conclusion (Losh,
Alexander, Cannon, & Cannon, 2014, p. 102). She provides her audience with statistics, and a
solution to lower those numbers. Lynn claims that 800 children are in the juvenile justice system,
and then she provides her audience with a solution, which is ADPOV. The reason she is giving
this example is because ADPOV needed two additional board members, and she was asking for
$150,000 to help 150 youth get off the streets and enrolled in their Aviation Career Program.
With this money the 150 students would get mentoring for a year. She continues giving her
audience evidence by comparing the cost of keeping youth incarcerated on Juvenile Hall for a
year, which would cost $88,000 per student, compared to what it would cost to have them
enrolled in the Aviation Career Program, which would cost $1000 per student.
In the end of the speech she ties back to the story about her student and leave the audience
with a quote from her. A different Point of View taught me that I can turn my life around and do
something bigger and better. I dont always have to run to the streets because I have a mentor
who will help me through my hard times. I want to thank you for teaching me how to fly
(Houston, 2014). Using this quote from one of the students in the end of the speech leave the

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:10

Kommentar [28]: Free floating quote. No
no.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:11

Kommentar [29]: This is great, Cramer,
but Im wondering if you can find a way to
make statistics-as-evidence a bigger role
within the paragraph. (Again, it seems
buried.)

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

audience with a great impression. The quote shows how much the organization can do to help
their students who are in danger of losing their way and prevent them from end up on the streets
or in Juvenile Hall.
When Nicole and Lynn use the word fly they do not only talk about an airplane. They are
talking about Nicoles and other students life, and how they can get control over it. The word fly
becomes a metaphor to the word life, which makes it more powerful. Using arguments that shows
evidence and success for the organization is a good way to persuade the donors to take action.
Leaving the audience with a quote from one of the students is a good conclusion and gives the
audience something to consider after the speech is done. Lynn is using the same strategy in the
end of the speech as in the beginning. She uses pathos throughout the whole speech to keep the
audience engaged. She uses sympathy when she explains Nicoles story, and she shows the love
she has for all her student and how much she believes in them.
The other speech Lynn did was for The Adrienne Hall Emerging Leadership Award. Lynn
was honored with The Adrienne Hall Emerging Leadership Award for her excellence in
leadership and for her great contribution to society. She received $5,000 that will be used for the
students in ADPOV. She starts her speech with a Chinese quote that means a lot to her: An
invincible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or
circumstance. The thread my stretch or tangle, but it will never break (2015). With this quote
she want to engage the audience and make them start to think and consider the people around
them.
Throughout the speech she wants the audience to keep the quote in their mind, while she
explains why the student choose ADPOV and why they are there. We teach our students that it
is important to acknowledge the people in your life that have reached out an taken your hand
when you most needed guidance, understanding, and encouragement (Houston). She ties this

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:11

Kommentar [30]: Whenever youre
referring to language AS LANGUAGE, use
either quotes or italics.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:12

Kommentar [31]: talking about

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

argument back to the story in the beginning of her speech, explaining what they do for the youth
and how much they need the donors. Lynn explains that she as a child was always lying on the
green grass in their back yard, while looking up at the blue sky and saw airplanes flying by.
Seeing the airplanes made her think about freedom and places she had never been before, and that
she someday would travel to all those places. In the story about Lynn lying in the grass, as a
child, shows how passionate Lynn is about flying. She uses a lot of details such as the green grass
and the blue sky, to give her audience a perfect image of what she experienced at that moment.
She engage her audience by giving them the option to create their own vision of what Lynn
experienced back in the days.
Lynn is an amazing woman with a strong mind. For Lynn it is important to engage her
audience using personal stories, and using quotes that mean a lot to her. She uses personal stories
to show how important ADPOV is for her and for the youth who are in danger of losing their way
in life. Her goal with the mission statement and speeches is to give a strong impression. In the
beginning of the speeches she wants the audience to get the feeling that they want to know more,
and she wants to end them with leaving the audience with a thought. She uses arguments to
inform, arguments to persuade, and arguments about the future to convince the donors to take
action. When making an argument it is important to consider three things: context, audience, and
appeals. Lynn considers all these things for her mission statement and her two speeches. Her
writing is powerful and straightforward with a lot of passion. There are many ways to make an
argument, and different concepts to use to engage the audience. Ethos, pathos, and logos are
concepts that are appealing to the audience, and Lynn is most certain using pathos and logos in
her writing. Lynn knows exactly who her audience is, and how she should reach out to them and
engage them.

Zack De Piero 8/9/2015 18:12

Kommentar [32]: Cramer, you need your
interview data I cant tell that youve
interviewed her

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

By using personal stories and stories from her students she provokes a lot of feeling to her
audience. How successful your arguments are depends on how well your strategy, content, tone,
and language meets the expectations of the audience (Lunsford, Ruszkiewicz, & Walter, 2013,
p. 96). Reading Lynns mission statement and her speeches she is definitively using the right
methods and strategies to engage her audience. She has been rewarded for both her speeches,
which indicates that she is using the right strategy, content, tone, and language to meet the
expectations of her audience.

HOUSTONS WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

10

Artifacts
Houston, Lynn. (2014). A Different Point of View - Fast Pitch
Houston, Lynn. (2015). A Different Point of View - The Adrienne Hall Emerging Leadership
Award
Hawkins, Judy. SBFoundation.

References
Lunsford, A., Ruszkiewicz, J., & Walter, K. (2013). Everything Is an Argument. Boston, MA:
Bedford/St. Martin. (Chapter 6)
Losh, E, M., Alexander, J., Cannon, K., Cannon, Z. (2014). Understanding Rhetoric: a graphic to
writing. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin. (Issue 3)