Atwell 1

Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
Through Their Eyes
Working at the zoo is an experience I will never forget. As a Lorikeet keeper, my
time was spent caring for the rainbow colored little birds. The tasks I performed on a
daily basis included treating them to their favorite fruits, presenting them with a
constant supply of fresh food and water, cleaning the indoor and outdoor enclosures,
and keeping a watchful eye out for them as they were observed by people passing
through the exhibit. All in all, the Lorikeets had a pretty good system of going for them.
They never had to worry about a shortage of food, finding a place to nest, or the dangers
of potential predators. While the Lorikeets seemed content with their medium sized
enclosure, I could never keep myself from wondering if they ever longed to be free from
the metal barriers separating them from the outside world.
I decided a survey was a good way to see my fellow students opinions on animal
captivity and what good they thought came out of it. Questions included: Do you
support the captivity of animals for educational/entertainment purposes? Should
animals that can survive independently in the wild be forced to stay in enclosures their
whole lives? What is a reasonable situation for an animal to be held in captivity and
what should their living area look like? The responses I received seemed to be from
people who have never really thought about it, or wanted to think about it. The people

Atwell 2
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
had never truly thought about what the animal gets out of being in captivity in exchange
for their entertainment.
Most of the students interviewed agreed that the way animal captivity is done
isnt very beneficial for the animal. One student brought up a good point. While animals
at the zoo may have a secure source of food, water, and housing, the cost that comes
with their stability is their inability to go anywhere besides the man made biome theyre
forced to live in. They went on about how humans have taken the animals privacy away
in exchange for human viewing pleasure. Go to the zoo right down the road. The reptile
exhibit is awful. All those snakes, frogs, and lizards having to spend their days in a
cramped glass room, unable to go out and explore the world around them.
This response made me consider other animals in the same situation. Take the
marine life at Sea World for example. A ten ton orca whale living in a room that, to
them, is about the size of a bathtub. Whales used to swimming hundreds of miles a day
are reduced to swimming back and forth in a small pool for fish for the audience that
causes their captivity in the first place. At the end of a persons long day at the park,
they pile in their car and go wherever they want in the world, while the permanent
residents of the park swim aimlessly in circles. Thirty minutes of human viewing
pleasure comes with the cost of another living creature being forced to entertain and
then left in a glass box until its convenient to bring them out again.
In another survey I received a response from a person who brought up the
alternatives to animal captivity. They mentioned wildlife preserves. I dont see why we

Atwell 3
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
dont just have local animals at a reserve. An animal that is used to living in the Sahara
Desert shouldnt have to live in a zoo somewhere across the world. If people want to see
an animal badly enough, they should book a trip to where that animal lives, instead of
having that animal come to them. I couldnt agree more with this statement. With the
availability of the internet at our fingertips, a person can easily search for an animal
online and read endless articles about them and first hand accounts of other people's
experiences with them. People can even use YouTube to watch countless videos of
animals in the wild and learn even more from the videos than by watching the same type
of animal sit in their enclosure and wander around - longing to go somewhere else.
I think one of the few times animal captivity is acceptable is when an animal is
unable to live on its own. There are plenty of situations where an animals health
complications would cause it to be better off under the care of others than itself. In this
situation, however, I dont believe the animal should be kept if they become well enough
to be released back into the wild. A tiger with a leg injury should eventually be allowed
to go back to its home when it is able and not be forced to stay in a replicated version of
its environment. That being said, there are many times where an animal in danger
cannot be helped. These are the times when humans need to stand back and let nature
run its course.
Weve all seen the news stories of animals in captivity turning on the people
taking care of them and sometimes, even their own kind inside the enclosure with them.
Animals are a lot like humans. They need and want so many of the things we need and

Atwell 4
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
want. Just because we are the top of the food chain doesnt give us the right to disturb
the natural order of an animals life for our own personal gain. Next time you find
yourself at the zoo viewing a Bengal tiger or a Galapagos penguin in Little Rock,
Arkansas, ask yourself - How would I feel on the opposite end of the cage?

Works Cited
Foster, Alex. Personal interview. 10 Sep. 2015.
Hendrickson, Mike. Personal interview. 10 Sep. 2015.
Nguyen, Ana. Personal interview. 11 Sep 2015.

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Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015

Atwell 6
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
Essay #1 Evaluation Rubric 1311
2=inadequate, 3=adequate, 4=good, 5=excellent
4

Text shows an awareness of a clear external audience. The voice, tone, and
level of formality are appropriate for the audience and purpose. (here, you
could have discussed a bit more the connection of the complexity to your
own life)

Effectively synthesizes, and contextualizes appropriate sources (articles,

surveys, and/or interviews).

Shows evidence of thoughtful and intelligent re-thinking about the essays

global aspects (thesis, organization, focus, development of ideas, use of
specific detail, and language).

14

TotalRhetorical Knowledge/Critical Thinking, Reading, Writing, Design,

Graphics, Revision

Introduction
5

Fully and engagingly establishes the context and boundaries of the topic
while enticing the reader with vivid description and setting the tone. The
thesis is stated clearly and completely.
Establishes the context and boundaries of the topic as it attempts to entice
the reader and set the tone. The thesis, while present, could be clearer,
more specific.
Establishes the context and boundaries of the topic but is unengaging.

Atwell 7
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
Does not clearly establish the context and boundaries of the topic or is
formulaic or uninteresting. The thesis is unclear or incomplete or is
missing.

Body Paragraphs
5

Paragraphs develop one reason which clearly contributes to an

understanding of the thesis. Unity: Ideas are easy to follow and transitions
are used effectively. Development: paragraphs are fully developed,
providing convincing elaboration through specific and relevant details,
reasons, examples, and uses exact and appropriate language. The content
is remarkable because of the intelligent way the writer addresses the topic.
No major errors in logic.
Paragraphs develop one reason which contributes to an understanding of
the thesis. However, a few sentences may not clearly contribute to the
paragraph's main idea. Unity: some transitional words or phrases are used.
Development: paragraphs are developed with detailed support. While
supporting ideas develop the paragraph's main idea, there are places where
the writer needs to add more details or be more precise to make the
connections obvious. Some minor errors in logic may exist.
Paragraphs attempt to develop one reason which contributes to an
understanding of the thesis. However, a number of sentences may not
clearly contribute to the paragraph's main idea. Unity: some transitional
words or phrases are used occasionally. Development: paragraphs are
under developed with only some support. While some supporting ideas
develop the paragraph's main idea, there are places where the writer needs
to add much more detail or be much more precise to make the connections
obvious. Some errors in logic may exist.
Paragraphs may begin with a topic sentence, but do not clearly relate to the

Atwell 8
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
thesis. Paragraphs may also follow a predictable and monotonous pattern.
Unity: There are abrupt qualities either because of brevity or lack of
coherence among supporting ideas. Development: paragraphs provide only
a summary development of the topic. Support is presented in a skeletal
structure and relies on generalizations. Word choices may be careless or
redundant, resulting in thoughts that are unclear, lack depth and
imagination. Or it presents many supporting ideas, some of which do not
clearly relate to the topic. Some errors in logic may exist.
Conclusion
5

An original, graceful ending that reinforces the essay's thesis. Leaves

reader with something to chew on.
Restates the thesis and/or main points and offers the reader some analysis
or commentary that reinforces the essay's position.
An ending that merely restates the thesis and/or main points.
Too brief to be successful. Or introduces new ideas. Or Raises ideas that
contradict the thesis.

Language Skills and Voice

5

Strong command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is engaging,

trustworthy, credible, well-informed, thoughtful, and fair. Successfully
uses and punctuates a variety of sentence structures. Few if any errors
exist, and errors do not interfere with readability. Writer demonstrates
consistent command of higher level language skills.
Command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is mainly engaging,
trustworthy, credible, well-informed, thoughtful, and fair but breaks down
in some places. Some variety of sentence structure exists. Minor errors

Atwell 9
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
exist in structure. Writer demonstrates good command of higher level
language skills.
Some command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is mostly engaging,
trustworthy, credible, well-informed, thoughtful, and fair but fails to really
hold attention. Some variety of sentence structure exists. May contain a
few major grammatical and mechanical errors, but errors only create
minor difficulty in readability.
Poor command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is barely registers.
Writer shows poor basic skills. Frequent errors in basic grammar and
mechanics, which creates difficulty in reading.

Documentation
5

All references, quotes, and paraphrases are clearly and completely

documented, both in the text and in a properly formatted Works Cited
page.
In-text citations and Works Cited entries are included, but there are some
omissions and format errors.
Little to no documentation of sources resulting in unintentional
plagiarism.
Source material is deliberately plagiarized.

25

TotalProcess/Conventions

Atwell 10
Ben Atwell
Mrs. Scaife
RHET 1311
September 13, 2015
99
A

Grade