Welcome to Claims Department Issue 2

Last time we were all together, I

dropped the story of the Con that led
to the idea for Claims Department, and
this time I'm letting in on the tale of
my trip to Wine Country a little while
back. I hope you enjoy it and keep
reading.

The Location
Located about an hour and a half north of my living space is the Sonoma
Valley. If you drink a lot of wine, you'll either know of Sonoma or it's
snooty brother, Napa. Sonoma is like Napa, only with history, since it was
there that the Bear Flag Republic that lasted less than a month was declared
and they have several well-restored old buildings and a historic Plaza. In
addition, they have more amazing food per square inch than anywhere else on
Earth. I had the chance to spend a few nights in the city of epicurean
delights, complete with a card that got me free dinners in several restaurants.
I had asked a young lady to join me, but she couldn't, so I headed up on my
I stayed in a little place
called the Sonoma Hotel. The
place reeked of history.
Built in the 1880s, the joint
had been a dancehall and
theatre. Kinda spooky in
there. If you know anything of
ghosthunting, they all say
that theatres, after hopitals
and graveyards, are the most
likley places to find ghosts.
I witnessed nothing while I
was there, though I heard a
couple of stories from folks around town.
The room was small, but comfortable, and the location was right above a great
restaurant called the girl and the fig. I settled into my room and watched the
tiny TV. It was a nice place, and I got a lot of rest. I had my mini-DVD
player and watched a couple of episodes of The Simpsons. I knew there was work
to be done, particularly on the buying of things side of my life. I headed out
the door of my room about an hour after check-in.

The Book
I knew there were two wonderful bookstores in Sonoma
itself. One, an antiquarian bookstore called Chanticleer
Books, is a personal fave for historical texts. I once found
a book that had been owned by a co-worker of mine who's an
expert on classical calculations. The place isn't exactly
where you'd go to find science fiction, but they do have the
occasional piece mixed in with the stacks. This was the case
with the visit I made on the delightful spring day, already
having sipped a half-dozen samples at the Sabastiani Winery.
 choice seemed odd, especially considering who the editor of
the anthology was and the then-recent interaction between
us. I picked up, for twelve-fifty, a perfect first edition
copy of Dangerous Visions.
If you're reading Claims Department, you probably already
know a bit about Dangerous Visions. It changed the genre,
some say for the worse, but others claim it opened things
up. It certainly killed what little was remaining from the
Pulp era. Harlan Ellison edited the damn thing, cementing
his claim as the mad genius. I had read a couple of the
stories that appeared in Dangerous Visions in the past, but
I had never sat down and tried to read the thing. I had
been hesitant for the few months prior, despite knowing
Harlan at Loscon
about the reissue that had just happened, because of my
2001 mere moments
encounter with Harlan at Loscon
after calling me
I did a panel on The Future of the Internet and at one
the Devil.
point made a comment about copyright being an evil that I
Photo by Melissa
hoped disappeared. I've always held that belief, which is
Kaercher
why all my writing is in the public domain and doesn't
belong to me. Harlan was in the middle of his battle against AOL (which he
certainly should have lost and lost big), so when someone ratted me out to
Harlan and when I was introduced to him he said "You, and people who think like
you are the devil." Needless to say, I'm not a big fan.
I took the book directly from the shop to a restaurant on Sonoma's historic
Town Plaza. I've spent a fair amount of time on the Plaza over the years
(including one youthful indiscretion) and love the places to dine along the
edges. I chose a place called Mary's Pizza Shack.
Mary's isn't exactly high dining, and being in Sonoma, that's what most folks
expect. Instead, Mary's is a clean and dependable place for lunch. I ordered
a plate of Spaghetti and two extra meatballs which turned out to be the size of
dolls' heads. The food was very good and I started reading about one o'clock.
At three fifteen, I walked up to the counter and paid, having thoughtlessly
ignored half of my meal since I was far too much into my reading. The first
couple of stories seemed pretty standard, I guess with the last thirty years
there have been great advances in subject matter allowances and these just seem
pretty normal. It was the story by my personal favourite, Phillip Jose Farmer,
that hooked me so.
Riders of the Purple Wage is the type
of story that makes me wonder why I've
wasted my life. I could never come
anywhere close to this level of writing.
It's a story that may not have
influenced the world around us, but it
did show that Farmer had a much longer
view than anyone else operating at the
same period. The story is basically the
tale of a SoCal artist in the future who
lives in a wired society. That's right,
it's basically the story of my friend
The food at Mary's is exceptionally Steve Sprinkles, only written the better
delightful and good to read by. part of a decade before his birth. The
Oh Mary, how you've stolen my heart! heart of the future that Phil seems to
 drop on us is the Purple Wage, I guess it's sort of
like what the world would be if a Burner ran
things. It's pretty much a distributed wealth
system, which is interesting, as it takes social
welfare to the furthest logical step. The story is
sort of nothing, it's almost a story about nothing,
but it works so beautifully that I didn't at all
care.
PJ Farmer's Awesome Card Having walked out of the restaurant, I wanted a
place to sit down and read some more. There are hundreds of little places
where reading would seem like a good idea. The beautiful town Plaza was a
smart choice, but I was more in the mood for the in-doors. I found a guy I
knew from the Sonoma Valley Film Festival and we got to talking. He recommended
a place where I could chill out, drink some wine (for free with his name) and
read to my hearts content. I headed over to the tiny little winery and dropped
the name, was handed a bottle of port and settled in to one of the chairs in
front of the building. In the lovely sun, I got my read on with a story from
Theodore Sturgeon. The story was If All Men Are Brothers, Would You Let One
Marry Your Sister?.
This was an equal treat.
Sitting under a floppy hat in the warm sun
on a slightly windy afternoon while reading a
great book is almost Heaven. Add some good
vino and it is Heaven. I was one and a half
sheets to the wind while reading Sturgeon's
tale, which I am fairly certain I had read
before, at least in part. The story deals
with a visit to a world where the greatest Castle Vineyards
taboo is no longer taboo. The incest story is interesting, though flawed in
some of the logic and ignorant of the problems that incest relations can cause.
Still, the story is Sturgeon and has all the sign-posts inherent in that fact.
Sturgeon, in many ways, passed Farmer as the shield-bearer for sexual science
fiction. If All Men Are Brothers is a story that deserves a read followed by
serious thought afterwards.
I finished up Sturgeon's story and packed up, heading off to my room for a
nap. When I plopped down onto my bed, the room only slightly swaying, I
realised that the stories in Dangerous Visions didn't feel revolutionary. Now,
it was 30 years after the fact, so it's obvious that these were different times,
but they had a sense of 'let's put our hands in the cookie jar and see if momma
slaps them', almost as if they were trying to do things that they thought would
get them noticed for being edgy. I'm not saying that they were all that way, as
folks like Sturgeon, Farmer, Delany and even Harlan himself, had been doing
these sorts of stories for a while. What it felt like was a bunch of good
writers writing well in a style that they hoped would garner attention.
I drifted to sleep and woke up just in time for
dinner at a fine little Portuguese place. I had
the wild boar and it was to die for. Just amazing.
I read a couple of stories, including Ersatz, a
fine little piece by Henry Slesar that pre-dates
the long-running series of 'It turned out that she
was a tranny' jokes that Saturday Night Live alums
have made their living off for the last several
years. "Aye, and Gomorrah ... " by Sam Delany was
the final story in the book (I skipped around a bit), and was well and truly
the best thing I've ever read from Delany. The man knows how to open a story
(his opening line from Dahlgren 'To wound the autumnal city' is my personal
fave) and I thought that his was one of the three or four top stories in the
collection.
There were a few failures, like Fred Pohl's for example, but it was really
Harlan's intros that turned me off. At times pointless and at others
insulting, Harlan the Terrible was at the peak of his powers at that point and
he used them for annoyance. I wish that he would have just let the stories
talk for themselves.
I headed out of the restaurant after having gorged myself on four courses (if
you're ever in Sonoma, the Baked Oysters are worth it by themselves), and went
to my room where I read until falling asleep, and waking up at ten, started
reading again. I dragged the book around with me all the next day (two
tastings at Sabastiani and Ravenswood wineries) though I didn't read that much.
I knew I wanted to get my listen on with a good CD, since I had brought the
Mini-DVD player which served as a CD player as well. The period following the
tastings was highlighted by John Brunner's Judas and by the music of
Apocolyptica.

The Music
There is a small band called Metallica. They do what
the kids these days called Heavy Metal. From the
early 1980s through the early 1990s, Metallica did
some of the great thrash and grind songs you'll ever
hear. Master of Puppets, One, Enter Sandman, anything
off of Ride The Lightning, these were all classics.
It's not a rare thing to find a band that does covers
of heavy metal favourites, but it is kind of rare to
find a group that does them on cello.
The only one I can think of that makes that attempt
is Apocalyptica, those Finnish classicists who refuse
to keep covering Mozart and Handel.
I first came across their work in a film called Your Friends and Neighbors.
They used their version of Enter Sandman as the intro music. While the film
wasn't great, the soundtrack made me want to go out and buy their music. The
only problem was, back in those days, before the Earth cooled and I started at
the museum, I just didn't have the cash to spare. So, I forgot about it and let
it sit for a while. While in Sonoma, I couldn't find a music store. I looked
all over and found nothing. I took a little side trip to beautiful Santa Rosa
(once home to Charles Schultz of Peanuts fame, now home to his museum) and a
place called The Last Record Store.
Helsinki, thanks to
The Guys rocking in
photo
constabler.com for the

When I got there, there were dozens of people

milling about. I had no idea why until I
entered and saw that the 1990s band Camper Von
Beethoven was playing! Wow! I loved them in my
College Radio-listening High School days. It
was great to see them live, since I missed them
when they came through Santa Clara's One Step
Beyond in the early 1990s, but I got a chance to
catch a couple of their songs while I plowed
through people looking for a CD to buy. I
found myself in front of a section which was
headed by the marker Apocalyptica. I looked
in and saw that there was one CD left and I
grabbed it, took it to the counter and hurried
out, even before CVB stopped playing.
I didn't have a CD player in the car, so I
simply drove back to my hotel. I plopped down
on my bed and started reading. I started
working through a few pages and realised that
I needed music. I put in the CD and settled
into my bed.

Wow.
Top: The Folks in
I knew the style and methods of the band. Camper Van Beethoven
I'd heard a lot of their stuff one or two Bottom: The Crowd
pieces at a time, but this was unexpected. (I'm standing next to
The songs burst to life with all the rage of the cameraman) Photos
the Metallica versions. In fact, I'd say that by Steve Ciaffa
the wild WILD and blistering fingerboard work
One far outshines the dizzying fretwork on Metallica's original. It
was a rockfest, and it made the reading that much better. I did
have to put the book down and rock-out hard a few times, but it's
the cello, it's meant to be read by.
Strangely, I could see why folks would find this odd, I mean cello
isn't exactly what the kids wearing the ripped jeans are carrying
around the parking lot, but at the same time these guys are
seriously making loud, angry rock 'n roll. This is Lounge Against
the Machine, this is legit Metal made by guys who love Metal. They
are R-O-K-K rock, much more so than Metallica has been over the last
decade or so. They seriously have the metal in their veins and the
classical training to back it up. It's not at all rare for Speed
Metal guitarists to have years of training in classical guitar or
violin or cello, so these guys using the training to turn the
instruments of their training (which I understand is formidable)
towards the darque crunchy waves is understandable.
Back To The Book
While I was rocking out, I was reading. Brunner's story Judas hit me
in a big way. I never liked Stand On Zanzibar, though I liked
reading Shockwave Rider while working at the Computer Museum in
Boston, Judas was a story written in a way that hit me right. It's
the story of an automaton, which is a step towards me loving it.
It's got a scientist trying to put the genie back in the bottle, my
all-time favourite Science Fiction tradition. The God-like automaton
is arrogant and pampered and oblivious

Valley of the Moon Winery.

to the realities of the world outside.
The scientist, Karminov, is one of
those obsessed humans that will strike
out for truth no matter what. In many
ways, this story is the condensed
version of the Deep Blue story: we've
created a tool that can beat us at our
own game. It was an eye-opening story
that I fell in love with.
I managed to finish Dangerous Visions
in the morning of the third day,
setting it aside and realizing that I
had nothing much to do all day. I
turned on more Apocalyptica and

Photo by Wendy Mazzoni

realised that there is a fannish
tradition that I should keep up with.
So, I hopped into my car and drove out
to a couple of the Glen Ellen wineries
with a CD full of eFanzines to read and
my laptop.
If you've ever LoCed from a winery,
in the middle of the most gorgeous day
on record in the heart of the spring,
you know the joy of it all. Robert
Lichtman's probably experienced the
perfection of it all. There I sat with
my laptop full of eI, Peregrine
Nations,Flicker and more. I sent off
ten LoCs in the course of three or so hours. While that must be an average day
in the life of Lloyd Penney, for me that was a lot all at once. I wrote a
couple of articles as well, since I had the time. The sun, warming. My mind,
glowing. I think I'll drink some pinot. And I certainly did that afternoon.
A little too much so that I had to hang around and reread a few of the zines on
the screen until I knew I was fine to drive.
Once I made it back to the room, I picked up Dangerous Visions again and put
on Apocalyptica, diving into Sturgeon's story one more time and rocking to my
heart's content. Over the next few hours, right before my dinner at a lovely
little steakhouse, I realised that I could read some of the stories over and
over, mostly the ones by the folks who didn't seem to have stretched that far
for Dangerous Visions, the folks like Delany, Farmer, Sturgeon, Brunner and
Zelazny. A lot of the other stuff, especially the things by Poul Anderson,
Damon Knight, Fred Pohl, Fritz Lieber, and even Keith Laumer were not things
that I could try again. There was just something about the pieces they
delivered that bugged me. I've enjoyed things by all of those guys, especially
Laumer and Anderson, but their Danger Visions just didn't seem legit to me.
After dinner I came back and slept like and angel on Nyquil. The wonderful
thing about the room was that even though it was directly over a popular
restaurant, I heard nothing all night and never had any trouble finding sleep.
Much better than most hotels I stay at, though the fact that there was no Con
in teh hotel probably helped with the sleep. Tomorrow was Saturday and the big
night for me and pretty much my big reason for making the trip.
 The Movie
When I woke up, it
was well-past noon. I
had stayed up much
later than I had
expected, or at least
that's what I told
myself to make me feel
better about twelve
hours of sleepy-time
comfort. I got up and
walked over to the
plaza, grabbing a bite
to eat at a little
joint which served the
best Yucatan food
you'll ever find. I
got a mole dish that
just about destroyed
me. So damn good.
I wandered about, this time looking for a bit of good conversation. I
discovered that there was a nice coffee place just down the street and they had a
bank of computers. Since I had a wireless card that proved to be quite slow, I
figured a hard-wired system would give me better results. I walked over and
found a group sitting at the back tables. They were chatting loudly about the
films of Mike Nichols. I've never been a fan, but after I paid for my Mocha and
hour of net time and had a seat at the computer nearest to the ruckus. I checked
my mail and the folks kept chatting about movies. One of them, a young lady,
probably around 21, came over and took to the computer next to me. She smiled as
she sat down and went to work. She wasn't a bad-looking girl, face a bit on the
long side, but still pleasantly cute. I took a shot.
"Film fans?" I asked.
"Yeah, we always have these big round-table
meet-ups before the special screenings." She
answered.
The special screening she was talking about
was that of House of Wax, the classic Vincent
Price film being shown for a private function
that I had received an invite to through SF
friends of mine who know my weaknesses.
"Ever seen House of Wax?" she asked.
"A few times, only once in 3D, but that was
years and years ago." I answered.
She smiled. Nice teeth.
"I'm Ken, short of Kendra."
"Chris." I said.
We chatted for anther half-hour or so, all the while pretending to be
interested in out email. She invited me to a pre-show gathering at one of the
wineries. I was happy to go, and since there was a bit of time between the
moment we both signed off and the party, she invited me to join her on a walk.
I, of course, said yes and we traveled. We made small talk and stopped by a
 little winery that was right next to my
hotel. It seems like Sonoma Valley has
more places to take a potential date
than anywhere else. We had a couple of
drinks, she mentioned that she read a
lot of Robert J. Sawyer (who is a
personal fave of mine) and we headed to
the party.
Typical pre-film party, with just the
type of people you would expect. Ken
was a lovely girl and introduced me
around. I got into a long conversation
with a producer of documentaries who was working on one of William Castle. I
told him my idea for a doc about the history of the Computer in Film and he was
quite interested, though not enough to return my emails when I offered to make
the play to him and his backers. The wine was good, the food exceptional and the
atmosphere pleasant. Ken and I talked some more and headed to a quiet corner to
chat a little about Science Fiction (she had been one of the teenaged Con rats
that are so abundant, though she gave up fandom a few years before) and a lot
about movies. Darling lass, this Ken, though she had failed to mention that she
was just visiting from Portland until a few moments before they announced that
the film would start in five minutes.
We entered and got great seats…and Ken didn't even lower the arm rest between
us.
House of Wax may be the best use of the 3D medium. While Dial M for Murder is
a better film and The Creature from the Black Lagoon more iconic, House of Wax
puts the full 3D into use and has Vinny P to add to the unsettling vibe. There
are a few moments where you can definitely tell that they had finally figured out
how to properly use 3D (watch Bwana Devil and then House of Wax and you can see
the difference instantly). The effect of having the barker stand in front of the
theatre batting a ball on a string is brilliant. There is a lot of depth here,
pun completely intended. Too often, 3D films only use the 3D in big effects, but
here, it all feels like your pressing in on a real scene. Dial M is the only
other 3D film that does it so well, though I'm told Kiss Me Kate is just as good,
though I've only seen it flat.
The beauty of House of Wax is how well it works in both stereoscopic and flat
versions. Vincent Price is breathtaking in his under-toned evil. This is his
second best performance in my eyes, just slightly south of House on Haunted Hill
where he was truly evil and brilliant. This was really Price's first big horror
film, and the first that got him strong
notice. There was a time when Price was
thought of as a straight man perfect for
secondary characters in dramas. Here, he
mixes things up and gives us evil that is
burning under layers of Price's trademark
style. He never really kept you guessing,
but you tell there was always more going on
than you expected.
House of Wax is actually a remake of an
older, I think 1930 or so, Fay Wray movie
called Mystery of the Wax Museum. I've
seen it once or twice, and it's probably
 the better film, though far less fun. There is a
great deal of difference between the two, especially
the setting. House of Wax goes Old School and gives
us 1850s Baltimore while Wax Museum puts us in 1930s
NYC. There is no question which is more photographic
and the cinematography in House of Wax is undebatably
wonderful.
The secret of House of Wax is well-known, he's
using bodies that he stole from the morgue and
covering them in wax. We know this pretty much the
whole way through, but there is so much going in,
both in and out of the 3D, that we don't really care
much. It's the 1950s version of a Michael Bay movie:
it ain't gonna win Academy Awards, but it'll be worth
your money and the popcorn. Add to all of that the
stings that led young Ken to jump into my arms and
you've got a great time in the theatre.
The movie ended and I walked Ken back to her car.
She gave me her number with a 'if you're ever in
Portland' and headed off. I went back to my hotel
room and watched Saturday Night Live.
The book had been good, at times great. The music had been outstanding. The
movie was exactly right for me and the lass I spent the day with made it even
better. I headed out for San Jose the next morning, sleeping until just about
ten minutes before check-out. In my haste, I left Dangerous Visions behind.
Sad, as I had planned on reading more of it again, but maybe it ended up in the
hotel reading room, waiting for someone else who's a little behind on his
anthology reading.
That's all for Issue two of Claims Department. I hope you enjoyed it and will
send in your LoCs and any thing else you might wanna let me know. The next
issue, coming out right after I get back from BayCon, will feature a book that
Bill Gates claims to have read, the Greatest Song in The World and other ditties
and the beauty of watching TBS in bed on the company's dime. Carlsbad,
California is the location for a strange weekend spent among Fortune 500 CEO-
types while displaying a van load of classic computers. Trust me, this one will
be most interesting.
If you want to keep
receiving Claims
Department, send in a
comment or just hang
around BASFA. If you're
interested in my other new
GImmickZine, LISP, let me
know and I'll send it your
way. The Drink Tank is
your weekly source for
nothing important. If you
wanna get on the Chess
issue, let me know. The
print run for that will
probably only be about 50
copies, so reserve today.
The Details
The Sonoma Hotel is located right on the Plaza at 11 W. Spain Street in Sonoma.
It's a great location and the girl & the fig on the first floor is a fantastic
restaurant. Try the New York steak, it's breathtaking. You can find them at
www.sonomahotel.com. The third floor rooms are quite small, but comfortable.
They do a simple breakfast in the morning. The staff is very nice, probably the
nicest I've ever dealt with. High marks for service.

Dangerous Visions has been reprinted in a bunch of different forms over the
years. The version I read was the original 1967 edition published by Doubleday
in 1967. I recently got the 35th Anniversary edition which adds a few forward
notes by Ellison. The smaller versions that were released in the UK are good too.
I liked Again, Dangerous Visions better at times, but that's another issue of
Claims Department. For a copy of Last Dangerous Visions, beat Harlan about the
head and shoulders. In fact, you can do that for any reason.

Apocalyptica's album Inquisition Symphony released by Universal Music in 1998.

It's usually in the rock sections of video stores, but I've also seen it mixed in
with the Cello sections of some classical sections. If you buy it, listen to it
loud and proud. The boys tour America once in a while and their live shows are
crazy extreme. They tend to play big venues, but they also did a tour of opera
houses and symphony halls. I recommend visiting Apocalyptica.com for more info.

House of Wax is the 1953 Warner Brothers version, not the 2005 WB version with
Eliza Cuthbert. The Mystery of The Wax Museum is 1933 and is available on VHS
and DVD in an edition with The Island of Lost Souls. Well worth looking into as
well as a DVD version with House of Wax, though sadly that one is pan + scan.

Some of the wineries I visited include Cohn, Eric Ross and Valley of the Moon in
Glen Ellen; Castle, Sebastiani and Ravenswood in Sonoma proper, and Chateau St.
Jean in Kenwood. Castle Winery's tasting room is right off the Plaza in Sonoma,
right next to the Sonoma Hotel. It's a great place with the nicest pour-monkey
you'll ever meet. If you're a wine guy like Paul Giamatti in Sideways, you'll
not have a great time. If you're more like Thomas Hayden CHurch, then you'll do
just fine. Castle's Port is the best I think I've ever had that cost less than
100 bucks a bottle. Sabastiani is a really nice place and does servicable wines.
Cohn has olive oil tasting and I'd say their wine was a seven while the oil was a
nine. Valley of the Moon is a great setting and the wine is tasty. Chateau St.
Jean is beautiful and teh wine is good. Go on a sunny day and you'll be quite
pleased.

The Last Record Store is located in Santa Rosa at 1899a Mendocino Avenue, Santa
Rosa, CA 95401. Great selection of CDs and actual viyl records. Well worth a
trip if you've got the time.

Claims Department #2 is written, directed and produced by Christopher J. Garcia.

It's available only in print, so there! Any work written by Mr. Garcia is free
to use in any medium with or without consent. If you'd like to drop a line,
send it to Garcia@computerhistory.org or 1401 N. Shoreline Blvd, Mountain View,
Ca 94043. Be sure to read The Drink Tank on eFanzines.com and Peregrine Nations
where I have an up-coming article. Peace out, homies.