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Notice how your internal representation changes if you use the present participle talking to
express the same three verb forms:
4. I was talking to her.
5. I am talking to her.
6. I will be talking to her.
7. I had talked to her. (past perfect) expresses a past event which was completed before
another past event.
8. I have talked to her. (present perfect) expresses a past event which may or may not
continue into the present.
9. I will have talked to her. (future perfect) expresses an event which will happen in the
future before another event.
If you display these forms on a time line, they might look like this:
The sentence I have talked to her. is not too different from the simple past I talked to her.
(or I was talking to her). However, the perfect forms express a sequential relationship between
two different time frames. I have talked to her. expresses a sequence between now and the past.
I have (present, right now) talked (past) to her. I talked to her. is completely in the past
there is no mention of the present in that sentence.
There are other verb forms that link two time frames:
10. Having talked to her, ... (having plus past participle) presupposes an event completed before
another event.
11. I hope to talk to her. (present plus infinitive) the event (talk) follows a present event
(hope), expressed as an intention (outcome).
12. I was glad to have talked to her. (past plus perfect infinitive) The event (talked) precedes
an evaluation (glad).
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Here are some verbatim examples of Richard Bandlers use of verb form shifts to presuppose
that a change has been made and that the old behavior is now in the past.
1. Putting a present problem into the past by using past tense The tag question negation (with
sinking inflection to make it into a statement/command) redirects attention to the past, and
prevents the problem from continuing into the future.
That was a problem, wasnt it?
You wanted to ask me a question, didnt you?
You were very concerned, werent you?
Richard Bandler states: A change of temporal predicates especially where there is a presupposition attached, means that something has already happened or something is going
to happen. So, if I say to a client, Well, you make unrealistic expectations. First you make
an expectation which you know is not going to be filled. So then you had doubts, but those
doubts were actually an expectation which was being filled because you knew you werent
going to do it and so you didnt, didnt you?
2. Putting a present problem behavior into the completed past by starting a sentence with present tense and shifting to past tense (with tag question negation and with sinking inflection).
It is a terrible problem, wasnt it? You want to make changes, havent you? That is a
swish pattern, wasnt it?
Isnt that what you had been doing? You have a problem, didnt you?
3. Reorientation into the future new behavior, transforming it into the present, and looking back
on the problem behavior in the past, or looking at yourself having made that change,
What would it be like when you have made those changes now, in the future, as you look
back and see what it was like to have had that problem. . . as you think about it now?
If you could make this change for yourself, so that you could stop having made that
change and see yourself now Do you like the way you look?
If you could make that change and look back at yourself having made that change now
Stop and see yourself as you are.
How did you think the swish pattern works? Remember what you used to do seeing it
in an expanding frame.
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You wanted to make changes, havent you? Isnt that what you had been doing?
A verb form shift will seldom (if ever) be enough, in itself, to accomplish a change. If youre
doing a swish for instance, you need to first elicit the two pictures (even if you do it covertly and/
or conversationally). Then the verb shift can be used to link them in time, to accomplish the swish
transition.
Overall your task is not to succeed, but to find out experientially how verb forms affect experience, and to notice the external nonverbal shifts that indicate that the persons experience has
changed.
1. A states a limitation and a resource or desired outcome. (B and C may quickly gather information to specify the limitation and the desired outcome. 3 minutes maximum.)
2. (5 minutes) B and C experiment with different verb shifts, without necessarily trying to
achieve the outcome. B and C watch for nonverbal shifts in A, and A gives feedback about
any internal shifts he notices, particularly those which take him toward the outcome.
3. (5 minutes) B and C alternate using verb shifts to alter the problem state toward a desired outcome. Try anything you want. A reports any shifts in his experience in response to the verbalizations of B and C,
Stretch: After B and C have each found a verbalization that impacts A in a useful way, ask A
to restate his problem, and then B and C will deliver their verbalizations simultaneously.
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SleightofMouth
This chart and list is our own reorganization and examples of the SleightofMouth patterns.
Most of these patterns were first devised by Robert Dilts, modelling Richard Bandlers language patterns. Reversing Presuppositions was developed later by Connirae Andreas.
These patterns are to be used on any complex equivalence or causeeffect statement. Below is a
list of patterns, with examples, responding to the following sentence:
Your being late shows me that you dont care about me.
A.
= B.
Being Late
=
Not Caring
External Behavior =
Internal State
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In the examples below, A, B, or A/B indicates that the intervention is directed at only the first
half (A), only the second half (B) or the entire statement (A/B). For the purpose of learning each
pattern, we have tried to use examples that only use the listed pattern. Note, however, that some patterns always include other patterns. For example, Hierarchy of Criteria always enlarges the frame,
and Apply to Self is always a metaframe. Of course these patterns can be combined in a single
response. Like the hypnotic language patterns, the more you can pack into one sentence, the harder it
will be to unpack, and the more impactful it will be.
1. Redefine: Changing the meaning. (Since A is the definition of B, you cant redefine B without
dealing with A also.)
A. Its not that Im late, its that I take my time.
A. Im not late now. When I dont show up for 24 hours, then youll know Im really late.
(also chunk down)
A. Being late just means that Im a busy person.
B. Caring is not a matter of punctuality, its a matter of making sure we get together frequently.
B. Its not my tardiness that can let you know I dont care, its the shabby way I dress.
A/B. Your bringing this up with me means we have the kind of relationship where we can work
things out.
2. CounterExample: An example counter to the belief.
A. I wasnt late yesterday.
A. Havent there been lots of times when I wasnt late?
B. Can you think of any other ways I show you that I do care?
A/B. I was late last week, but you knew I cared.
A/B. Have I ever been prompt, but you knew I didnt care?
3. Switch Referential Index: Switch who the belief refers to.
A. You were late yesterday.
A. Youre usually on time.
B. You dont care about me.
B. You cared enough about me to wait.
A/B. Does that mean that if youre late, you dont care about me?
A/B. Is your promptness a sign that you care about me?
4. Frame Size: A larger/smaller/different frame adds/deletes/ changes information in the same picture at the same logical level. (Whereas chunk size changes logical levelmore general or more
specific.) Usually you will want to enlarge the frame or change frame to increase options and
flexibility.)
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Larger:
A. I know Im often a little late, but I always come.
B. I do care about you; I also care about keeping other commitments Ive made.
A/B. Promptness and caring are both important to me, too. You cant imagine how busy Ive
been lately trying to keep all your bills paid on time.
Smaller:
A. I guess I was exactly 5 minutes late today.
B. On my way home I was thinking about two of the different ways I care about you.
A/B. I didnt think my being five minutes late today would mean that I was uncaring.
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Example 2: Another client wasnt getting what she wanted sexually. She didnt tell her boyfriend
what she wanted, because that would be limiting him, and taking away his choice. Connirae said,
Have you ever had the pleasure of giving someone a gift that you know they wanted to receive?
Client (Yes). Did you realize that youve been taking that choice away from your boyfriend? You
havent told him clearly what you want, so youre limiting him from giving it to you, even if he
wants to If you tell him what you want, then at least he has the choice of giving it to you if he
wants to.
Sequence in this example:
a. Clients original belief: Telling equals forcing or limiting.
b. Reversing Presupposition: Not telling equals limiting. Telling equals choice.
Example 3: Belief: If I let people know what I think and want, Ill lose all my friends.
Reversing Presupposition: Now that you think about it, how would your letting people know
what you think and want actually cause you to have more and deeper friendships?
Example 4: Belief: I have to stay cold and distant to be safe.
Reversing Presupposition: In what way would your being warm and present actually make
you safe?
General Formula for Reversing the Presupposition:
Limiting Belief: X
Equals/Causes Y
is
does
make
cause
can
In what way could X actually equal more/better of Y (opposite)?
mean
has
would
might
Exercise
(Trios, exercise on the above categories.)
A states a limiting belief. B and C identify useful presuppositions to change. Use Reversing Presuppositions to change it.
Notes:
1. Reversing Presuppositions differs from Redefine in that it results in a new belief that is opposite to the old one. Essentially you are asking, How is the opposite of what you thought,
really true?
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2. The question form in the general formula above enables the client to generate the evidence
for the new belief.
3. Sometimes its useful to first ask What is the opposite of X for you?
Worksheet
X
means/causes
Sentence: ________________________________________________________________________
1.
Larger: ____________________________________________________________________
2.
Different :__________________________________________________________________
Smaller: ___________________________________________________________________
Redefine: __________________________________________________________________
3.
CounterExample: __________________________________________________________
4.
5.
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MetaModel III
4. B asks his question, and writes down As verbal response. A notices how her internal representation changes in response to this question, and writes this down while B & C continue.
5. B & C write down all the presuppositions in As response.
6. Now C recycles to Step 2, writes down a question, and goes through steps 2-5. B and C alternate
asking questions, each time going through the steps listed above. (Continue for 30 minutes.)
7. Take five minutes (maximum) to compare notes with A to out how each question changed As
internal representation and other responses A had to the questions.
Stretch: Find out if you can change someones experience with three questions.
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11. Repetitive Verbs and Adverbs: verbs and adverbs beginning with re-, e.g., repeatedly, return,
restore, retell, replace, renew, etc.
A. Are you ready to relearn this material now? (You have learned it in the past.)
B. Ive noticed that NLP can repeat its results. (NLP gets results.)
C. Do you want a good way to renew your confident feeling now? (You have had a confident feeling.)
12. Qualifiers: such as only, even, except, just, etc.
A. Only you can learn the way you do. (You can learn the way you do.)
B. Except for NLP, few approaches to communication really work very well.
(NLP really works well.)
C. Even you can become confident! (You can become confident.)
13. Change-of-Time Verbs and Adverbs: begin, end, stop, start, continue, proceed, already, yet,
still, any more, etc.
A. Do you want to continue learning? (You have been learning.)
B. NLP still gets as good results as it used to! (NLP has gotten good results.)
C. When did you begin feeling confident? (You have been feeling confident.)
14. Change-of-State Verbs: change, transform, turn into, become, etc.
A. I dont think youd suddenly become a person who couldnt learn easily. (You can learn easily.)
B. No one really believes that NLP could turn into a methodology that isnt effective. (NLP is a
methodology that is effective.)
C. It would be quite a transformation if you changed into a person who isnt confident! (You are a
person who is confident.)
15. Factive Verbs and Adjectives: odd, aware, know, realize, regret, etc.
A. Are you aware of your learning ability? (You have learning ability.)
B. Its hard to believe some of the results that NLP gets! (NLP gets results.)
C. Are you pleased that you can be confident? (You can be confident)
16. Commentary Adjectives and Adverbs: lucky, fortunately, far out, out of sight, innocently,
happily, necessarily, etc.
A. Its fortunate that you can learn, isnt it? (You can learn.)
B. Do you enjoy the good results NLP gets? (NLP gets good results.)
C. Dont you think your confidence is remarkable? (You have confidence.)
17. Counterfactual Conditional Clauses: verbs having subjunctive tense.
A. If you hadnt been able to learn, you wouldnt be able to drive a car. (Assuming you are able to
drive a car, you had been able to learn.)
B. If NLP didnt get good results. I wouldnt be spending my time on it. (Assuming I am spending
my time on it, NLP gets good results.)
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C. If you werent able to be confident, you would still be living at home, wouldnt you? (Assuming you arent living at home, you are able to be confident.)
18. Contrary-to-Expectation Should:
A. If you should happen to not understand. I can explain it to you. (I expect you to understand.)
B. In the unlikely event that a particular NLP pattern wouldnt work. some other NLP pattern can
usually get the results. (I expect NLP patterns to work.)
C. If you should temporarily lose your confidence, you can press your own confidence anchor. (I
dont expect you to temporarily lose your confidence.) (You have confidence.)
19. Questions:
A. Which part can you learn more easily, verbal or non-verbal skills? (You can learn verbal and
non-verbal skills easily.)
B. What results has NLP gotten? (NLP has gotten results.)
C. How confident are you? (You are confident.)
20. Negative Questions:
A. Werent you the spelling champion in fourth grade? (I thought you were the spelling champion
in fourth grade?
B. Didnt you see the demo subject eating peanuts, to which she was previously allergic? (I thought
you did see the demo subject eating peanuts.)
C. Havent you had even one time when you were confident? (I thought you have had at least one
time when you were confident.)
21. Rhetorical Questions:
A. What difference does it make if you didnt learn math in the third grade?
(It makes no difference.)
B. Who cares if NLP doesnt fix 100% of all phobias in 20 minutes? (No one cares.)
C. What good does it do to focus on times when you werent confident? (It does no good.)
22. Spurious Not:
A. I wonder if youre not already learning more than you think. (I think you are learning more than
you think.)
B. I wonder whether NLP hasnt already proven itself to be effective. (I think NLP has proven
itself to be effective.)
C. I wonder if youre not already able to be confident. (I think you are already able to be confident.)
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Client: I cant say no. Well, 1 do say no, but I feel terrible when I say it. And often I dont say no, and
then my family gets shorted.
Connirae: How do you manage to feel bad when you say no?
Client: Well, when clients call and want to work with me. Theyve heard how good I am, and I know
it would take them longer with someone else, so I dont want to say no. And also I like the strokes I
get from working with people and making them feel better.
Connirae: So you want to help other people, and to get strokes/or yourself. What would result in your
helping the most people and getting strokes for yourself in the long run? Not just in that moment,
but over time, considering all your clients. (This enlarges the frame with respect to time and number of people.)
Client: Well, to get my rest, take care of myself, and so on. (He is clearly not associated into the solution, but he has recognized it.)
Connirae: So you were just thinking of that one client, rather than thinking about all the people you
might be able to help in the future, and your family, and the impact you want to have on them. Isnt
that what you had been doing? (Puts the problem into the past.)
Client: (flushes and laughs) I guess so.
Client: What will get me to think about the big picture in that moment when someone calls?
Connirae: Let me ask you this. When will you want to still say Yes? In that moment when someone
calls and asks for somethingwhat will still get you to say yes, even though youre thinking of the
big picture? (This installs the solution of the big picture, while asking for counterexamples to
saying No.)
Client: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is if they will pay lots of money. That will help my family in
the long run.
Connirae: OK. Good. What else in that moment will still get you to say yes?
Client: If the person calls and wants something that might be an interesting learning for me.
Connirae: Great. And that will also benefit your other clients over time.
Connirae: What else?
Client: ... Well, if I really do have the time, and my family will still be happy.
Connirae: Great. Now, can you think of anything that could possibly stop you from automatically
thinking about the big picture when a client asks you to do something, so that you will help the
most people and get the most strokes?
Client: No, I dont think so.
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Therapist
Client:
Therapist:
Client:
Therapist:
Client:
Therapist:
Is there anything that could possibly stop you from automatically using R (solution)
(in the context of the old limitation?)
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Supplemental Resources
The following book and CDs provide added examples of styles and applications of language patterns. All these products are available from NLP Comprehensive.
Heart of the Mind by Connirae and Steve Andreas (book)
Aligned Self by Connirae Andreas (CDs)
Changing Timelines by Connirae Andreas (DVDs)
Logical Level Alignment by Robert Dilts (DVDs)
The TOTE Utilization Process by Robert Dills (DVDs)
The Walt Disney Creativity Strategy by Robert Dilts (DVDs)
To order these and other products visit www.nlpco.com,
Write or call us for more information at 800-233-1657
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