2

Better Tomorrow

By

Yemi Omogboyega, LL.B (Hons), BL, MNIM

(Breakthrough Edition)
Ref: Vision-Driven Legacy Series 5.1

“This is a book that will be found useful by all who are

tempted to despair. It will inspire and motivate the young
and reassure the general reader that tomorrow is indeed
another land of possibilities.” - Reuben Abati

3
 First Published - October 1992

Reprinted March/September 2006 and July 2007

Except for purposes of research studies, class work,

debate, or review no parts of this publication may be
reproduced without the Author's express permission.

ISBN: 978 - 36104 – 3-0

For further inquiries, please contact

The publisher,
Treasure Vault Integrated Services (Nigeria) Limited,
(Books Division)
P. O. Box 71946, Victoria Island, Lagos
Tel. No. 08035200143; 08035200090 (Yemi)
or 08035200122 (Mary)

Cover Designed and cover printed by JustPrint Int’l

08037164170
Binding and Finishing works by
INCORE PRINTS,
10, Aina Street, off Abiodun Street,
Shomolu, Lagos.
GSM: 08042149459, 0829103720
e-mail address: fakoyageorge@yahoo.com

4
 Why You Must
Read This Book

“Yemi Omogboyega’s Better Tomorrow is not the usual

Nigerian biography about he life and times of a public
figure nor is it one of those exercises in self-praise, rather
this is biography as evangelism, biography as motivational
talk, biography as testimony.”

“…This is a book that will be found useful by all who

are tempted to despair. It will inspire and motivate the
young and reassure the general reader that tomorrow is
indeed another land of possibilities….”

“…Omogboyega offers a lot that is enlightening about

marriage, parenting, financial management how to
overcome poverty and adversity, the spiritual life… and
the challenges of publishing in Nigeria…”.

Reuben Abati Chairman Editorial Board of “The Guardian” (Nigeria) newspapers

during the Launching of Yemi Omogboyega’s books at the Muson Centre on 29th June
2006.

5
 Table of Contents
(Pages 0-28)
Title page
Publication details
Why You Must Read This Book
Table of Contents
Dedication
Also by the Author
Media Comments
Acknowledgement
Foreward
Introduction

Chapter 1
My Roots ………………………………… 30
Chapter 2
Welcome to My Life ………………………………….. 31

Chapter 3
What Does the Future hold for Me and
How Do I Get There ………………………………… 50
Chapter 4
My Visionary Mother …………………………… 54
Chapter 5
My Biological Father and My Stepmothers,
As I Knew Them …….…………………………… 68

Chapter 6
My Paternal Sibblings …………………………… 71
Chapter 7
Chief Ilugbusi and His Influence on Me ……………… 76
Chapter 8
The Test of My Life …………………………… …. 80
Chapter 9
My Sojourn At Ajegunle, Idanre …………………… 82
Chapter 10
I came back to Iyin ………………………………… 91

6
Chapter 11
Off to Lagos …………………………….. 93
Chapter 12
Back to My Education ……………………………. 102

Chapter 13
I Held my Destiny In my Own Hand ……………….. 106

Chapter 14
All Roads Closed ………………………………………. 108
54
Chapter 15
Wither My Life? ………………………………… 111
54
Chapter 16
My Wandering Days ……………………………….. 113
55
Chapter 17
The Road is Open …………………………………….. 116
57
Chapter 18
I left Uncle ‘Safe’s house …………………………….… 124
62
Chapter 19
I was Hypnotised and Tempted Too …………………… 135
69
Chapter 20
The Thought of Tomorrow ………………………… 142
73
Chapter 21
A Narrow Escape …………………………………….. 153
80
Chapter 22
My Marriage …………………………………….. 157
83
Chapter 23
Time up for Marriage ………………………………. 163
87

7
Chapter 24
Our Wedding (I Met The False Prophet) …………… 175
Chapter 257
Bilding Our Home ……………………………… 178
Chapter 26
My Mother-In-Law …………………………………… 184
Chapter 27
How we Manage our Marriage ……………………….. 189
Chapter 28
How we Manage Our Finances ………………………… 202
Chapter 29
What Makes
Marriage Successful is
Compatibility ………………………209

Chapter30
How we Manage Our Children …………………… 211

Chapter 31
Why that hurry about Writing Autobiography ………… 220

Chapter 32
The Emergence of The Current Edition …………….. 226

Chapter 33
Publishing My Scripts ………………………………… 230

Chapter 34

The Fundamental Differences Between the

First and Second Editions …………………………….233

Chapter 35

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God’s Faithfulness …………………………………………237

Chapter36
Nigeria’s contribution to My Achievements ……………… 243

Chapter 37
A new Career Vision Emerged ……………………… 250

Chapter 38
My Sojourn at the University ……………………… 252

Chapter 39A God-sent Driver ……………… 270

Chapter 40
My Experience as A Student-Worker ……….…….. 272

Chapter 41
My Spiritual Life …………………..…………….. 278

Chapter 42
I Settled for Christianity …………………………… 302
Chapter 43
My Life as A Student-Worker ……………………... 309

Chapter 44
Appreciation to Those who Supported
My Family ……………………………………….. 319

Chapter 45
My Mother’s Life A Lesson in Womanhood……….. 322
Chapter 46
I Release my Mum to God! 337
Chapter 47
My First Trip outside the Continent of Africa ………. 349
Chapter48
Back to My Mother’s Burial ………………………… 369
215
Chapter 49
My Adversaries Proved Wrong ……………………. 381

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Chapter 50
My Visit to Norway ……………………………………… 385
Chapter 51
My Spiritual Growth …………………… 391
Chapter 52
My Secular Siblings ……………………………….. 404

Chapter 53
Music and My Life ……………………………………… 406
Chapter 54
Overcoming Poverty ……………………………………… 414

Chapter 55
Eradicating Poverty From My Family ……………. 429

Chapter 56
Eradicating Poverty from My Extended Family .,,,, 435

Chapter 57
My Passions for People ……………………………. 449

Chapter 58
In The People’s Court /Photographs of
Events……… 461

Chapter 59
I Am Grateful ……………………………………… 481

Chapter 60

I am Fulfilled! ……………………………………… 487

10
 Dedication

This book is dedicated to God Almighty Who gave me

the inspiration that led the successful completion of
this book.
I also dedicate it to the following three-some,
whose considerations overwhelm my total being that is,
children (whose lives are so fragile that they can easily
be altered for good or bad), women (who are victims
of many wrongs in our society) and Strugglers, male
or female, who, though have clear visions of what they
want to be, are emasculated by the environment in
which they operate and frustrated from realizing their
potentials.
I also dedicate this book to my late and visionary
Mother, Victoria Tomire, and my aged father, Pa
Gabriel Omogboyega, both of nurturing and love
translated greatly to whatever I am and will ever be in
life.
Finally it is dedicated to my inestimable wife,
Mary, for standing by me always and for her
contributions to all my works.

“The book can be classified easily

among the growing list of “How To”
publications whose production has
become such a huge industry among an
emergent group of Nigerian authors.”
Reuben Abati

11
 Also by the same Author

• Better Tomorrow
• This Thing Called Marriage
• Family Budgeting: A Must For Your Home
• A Gallery of Positive Thoughts
• Positive Flashes
• Yemi Omogboyega’s 4-in-1( (this is a compilation of A Gallery
of Positive Thoughts, Positive Flashes, This Thing Called Marriage and
Family Budgeting: A Must for Your Home into one book)
• My Life is In My Hands
• Visit: www.treasurevault-ng.com click on the author’s
photograph and listen to the short video review of each
book.
(For more details, please turn to the end of this book

Coming out Soon:

• Now That You Are Married, Make it Work

• Music And Our Life
• Be Vision-Driven
• His Final Words
• Your Talent Is Your Wealth

12
 Media Comments on
books written by the Author

“This Thing Called Marriage”

“…is an eye opener for those contemplating marriage…”
- The Guardian's Art page 13th November 2004

“… came at the right time. A time that the rate of divorce in

Nigeria in particular and the world in general is on the
increase.

This Thing Called Marriage will be specifically useful to

spinsters and bachelors who are contemplating marriage. It
will also serve as a guide for those who are already married to
know how to make their marriages work.
- Maureen Chigbo, Newswatch Magazine.

“A Gallery of Positive Thoughts”

“ … is indeed inspiring and capable of changing most

thoughts negative to human…”
- The Guardian Arts Page 27th November 2004/B27

“From the human foetus to the human corpse, and the soul,
either in heaven or in hell, the author gives some thoughts to
help the individual shape his life to achieve his set goal here
and hereafter.”
- Azubuike Ishekwene – Editor, The Punch

Also reviewed by Networth Magazine - December, 2005 Edition

13
 “Family Budgeting”
“… the content is vast and of inestimable value.”
- The Guardian Newspaper Arts Page January 15, 2005

“ It is recommended that every family, man or woman,

married or single, should have a copy of this compendium to
help them in planning their lives.”
- Maureen Chigbo, Newswatch Magazine. June 29th 2006
Also reviewed by Networth Magazine - November, 2005
Edition p.38.

“Better Tomorrow”

“…(Yemi) has produced, a thoroughly engaging,

entertaining and instructive book that is bound to
provoke interest and arguments.”
- Reuben Abati (The Chairman, Editorial Board,
- The Guardian Newspapers

“Positive Flashes”
“ The author, a lawyer, is able to capture activities in recent past and relate
them to the current socio-economic and political events, leaving a message that
nothing has really changed in Nigeria…”

.
“My Life Is In My Hands”
“… the writer cannot resist the ambition to touch on the issues that
are fundamental to the life of each mortal. In other words, from a
parent to the child and back to the parent, the book has something
revealing for everyone”

14
 “…what Omogboyega does in My Life Is In My Hands, is to offer
practical guides that see the individual through from the cradle to the
grave.”

- Akeem Lasisi, Personal Finance Editor,

- The Punch (Front Personal Finance page)

“Better Tomorrow displays the same flavour; what he has

done mainly is to use the example of his own life to
motivate others to seek “a better tomorrow,” to energise
those who have taken the first step to beat the odds of life,
and to encourage those who are seeking success to stay the
course.” Reuben Abati

“Omogboyega’s story is worth reading. It

demonstrates the importance of education, diligent
self-application and life of purpose. Where others see
obstacles, Omogboyega sees challenges. Where
others see failure, he sees opportunities.” Reuben
Abati

Readers of this book are bound to form

opinions and attitudes about this central
episode, but the larger point that is clearly
established is Omogboyega’s Socratesian
realization that “man must know himself.”
- Reuben Abati

15
 Acknowledgement
I wish to express my sincere thanks to all those
who contributed to the successful completion of this
book.
First in the role of honour is late Tunde Samuel
who read the first manuscript of the First, (1992)
Edition of this book .
I am equally deeply grateful to the following for
their immense support and useful advice, criticisms and
encouragement: Dr. Wahab Goodluck and Mrs.
Goodluck, Mrs. M.O. Ogun (for writing a second
foreward to the book), Sina Luwoye, Mr. Kunle
Adesida, Area Pastor Bankole Fabiyi, Mummy Fabiyi
and Mummy Adesida both of whom especially took
the trouble to scrutinize every word in this book before
its release to the market. . To my literary mentor, Bisi
Ojediran and author of the main Foreward to this
edition of “Better Tomorrow” and Elder Andrew
Masade who edited this book I am grateful.
In addition to my parents, the following people
gave me a solid foundation I needed as a child and I
sincerely appreciate them: Madams Hannah and
Iyaniwura Omogboyega and Late Pa Ilugbusi, his late
first wife, “Eye Salu”, and his entire household.
. Of course my wife, Mary, has always been the
first assessor of all my works. Her sharp criticisms
have remained spirited, and forthright, thereby giving a
sort of imprimatur of appropriateness to my writings
and thoughts. Mine is a blessed home!

16
 This is a golden opportunity for me to also
acknowledge and appreciate my other “wives”, Bunmi
Omogboyega, Dele Akinsanya and Kemi Omotoba.
Their coming prompted my first book on marriage
titled “This Thing Called Marriage” which is selling
well in the market place.
As real fathers are sometimes unable to name all
their children, I too should be forgiven here if I omit
any names of my children (biological as well as
adopted). I am grateful to them in whom I have
pleasure: Olumide, Muyiwa, Sunkanmi, Bosun, Tope,
Seun, Yetunde, Mrs. Busola Ajayi (nee Adeniyi), and
man others too numerous to mention here.
But I also thank Miss O. Osa who jointly
underwrote the initial printing costs of the earlier
edition of this book.
I thank you all in advance, who will purchase this
book and read it. I am certain it is going to be well
with you as it is with me now. Amen.
Above all, I give glory to God Almighty who has a
purpose to fulfill in His children and who spared me to
complete this work successfully.

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 Foreword To
The First Edition

In its title, content and timing, “Better

Tomorrow” is the book for all. The title, apart from
being highly inspiring, is the silent and audible
supplication of every heart, the world over.
An indepth and rich narrative, Better Tomorrow
brings to limelight many of the often neglected
transitory, yet gruelling, instructive and sharpening
encounters that dot the path to success. To many, who
have not yet bowed out of the endurance-race of life, it
is a timely booster with a multi-war head: some would
find it a soothing balm of immense therapeutic value,
and a great tranquillising power.
Better Tomorrow is an account of universal value
to everyone who is determined to reach the peak of his
career pursuits, particularly on this part of the globe -
people to whom truncated paths and hostile
environments must become a familiar terrain.
The underlying truth and the emerging theme
from this delectable book is simply that the You in
you, walking and working with God, is all that you
need to attain your God-ordained, success-mark,
regardless of the environmental factors.
Approached with an open mind, Better
Tomorrow has the potential to encourage, strengthen
and stabilise most discerning minds, on the track to
success.

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 The honour bestowed on me in writing this
foreward, I also extend to you, as I wholeheartedly
recommend this book to you.

PASTOR L. OSAGIE
Powerline Bible Church, Ijeshatedo, Lagos. (Sept.
1991)

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 Foreword To
The Second Edition
At 48, Yemi Omogboyega may not be ripe to tell
his story: after all, they say life begins at 40.
Traditionally too, people who write autobiographies,
usually with lavish presentation ceremonies, are elderly
people with more degrees of life's experiences than the
thermometer.
Before I knew Yemi in the ever-busy corporate world,
he had started writing this book. When he saw the
writer in me, he bulldozed the writer's blocks in his
way and continued writing at a faster pace, and some
pages he had written long before our meeting were
dusted up.
I provided him some mentoring and stayed back
to watch him develop. He added to writing of
inspirational books, and what I saw later was a cascade
of publications. They were sprouting everywhere by
the quarter or so.
Today as I write the foreword of Yemi's
autobiography, I do so convinced that he is not being
boastful about it, nor is he trying to send signals that
he has arrived as a writer: it is never easy to be a good
writer.
Yemi has a story to tell, and as he had often
argued to convince me, he wants to give hope, send
comforting words of encouragement to children,
youths and adults alike, who are choking in deprivation
and poverty.
Above all, in this book, Yemi, as he told me, is
simply saying DO NOT GIVE UP. DO NOT GIVE
20
UP, HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,
BELIEVE IN GOD AND JUST WORK HARD.
Considering the level of general poverty in the
countryside and the lack of social infrastructure like
schools, hospital, etc., many people there are born into
harsh environments that threaten to snuff out their
lives or their inherited potentials. But Yemi says, please
do not give up! That is the plea of a young man who
himself suffered so much poverty. To break the cycle
of poverty he, as a youth, had been involved in
farming, hunting and other occupations to make a
living.
Today, blessed with a fulfilled life, Yemi has tried to go
back in time, peeling the layers of his early life and
taking time to also explain the positive roles others
have played in it.
The hand of God in Yemi's life is obvious. And what
he has done here, I will simply describe as counting his
blessings, or even praise-singing. It is a thanksgiving
display of the Glory of God in his life. The Lord is
Good!
The wealth of the book therefore goes beyond
Yemi's achievements. It is a case of “see what God has
done in my life.” The Yemi Omogboyega I know is a
humble, God-fearing man. He is so open, you could
read him like a book, as this book shows.

21
It is my pleasure to be associated in this way to a book
of such profound significance. As I have long
discovered, the combination of HUMILITY,
HARDWORK and the FEAR OF GOD never fails.

Bisi Ojediran
Author, Playwright

22
 “Better Tomorrow”,
A Book For All

At the time I joined Lovell Stewart Nig. Limited (a

construction firm) 27 years ago (1978) as the Company
Accountant, I had the good fortune of having Yemi
Omogboyega as my Personal Secretary. I had
preference for a male Secretary. With this choice, I
was not disappointed.
Yemi was a very humble, hardworking, committed
and efficient young man determined to make a success
of any assignment given to him. He displayed good
understanding and helpful attitude expected of a
Secretary.
Within 12 months of our working together, Yemi
had shown a high degree of integrity, willingness to
learn and to advance his education.
On occasions I noticed he was studying after
office hours obviously to better his lot in life of course,
I observed also that he had potentials. It was therefore
easy and natural to encourage such a person, which I
tried to do in what I considered my little way.
As the saying goes, “Heaven helps those who help
themselves”. He has challenged himself to reach higher
heights and has remained focused.
I am therefore very proud of him for all his
achievements to date, from a simple level of a personal
secretary to become a highly responsible married man
with good children, a senior executive in a multi-
national company, a Lawyer, a Human Resource
23
practitioner, a member of some notable professional
bodies such as the NBA, NIM, a graduate member of
Chartered Institute of Personnel Management of
Nigeria and Author of many inspirational books on
various subjects.
To cap it all, on the spiritual angle, I was glad to
learn that Yemi and his wife were both ordained as
Deacon/Deaconess during the 2005 Convention of the
Redeemed Christian Church of God.
No doubt by dint of hard work and God's grace,
he has been able to achieve these much and he is still
promising to make his life better and better just as he
was doing when we first met over 27 years ago!
Another unique quality of Yemi is his selfless
nature, which seems to have propelled him to want to
positively influence anybody with whom he is in
contact either physically or through his numerous
books. He has demonstrated this practically by
willingly releasing to humanity the first edition of his
autobiography as early in life as when he was barely 30
years old in order to inspire/motivate them, especially
the downtrodden. I read that book and I felt he had a
message for humanity at large!
That he has decided to release the 2nd edition of
the same book, which spans over his 48 years of
sojourn upon the surface of this planet demonstrates
again that he is selfless. The very rich, practical,
educative and inspiring contents of “Better
Tomorrow”, amply drives home this point.
I think one of the messages he is passing across is
that if he can make it as he has done, with hope, hard
24
work and faith in God, it means anyone who cares to
read this and many other books authored by him is
truly on the way to good success in life. His definition
of success is not limited to career success alone but
touches all facets of human endeavours. For this
reason, I commend this book to everyone looking for
solution to life's overwhelming problems in all facets of
life.
To God be the Glory for great things He has done
for him and his family. I wish him more successes in all
his endeavors.

M. O. Ogun (Mrs)
9th September, 2005

25
 Introduction

Those who fail in life have many reasons for their

failures.
They blame everyone else but themselves for their
fate. They blame everything, spiritual and physical, for
their failures. They attribute their misfortunes to
poverty, polygamy, failing health, lack of help,
sunshine, rainfall, gender, governments and so on.
Their complaints are very loud in the churches, at
the market places, in the village square, on the
mountain top and in the valley, on roof-tops, in all
public places. They tell but hardly do. They come into
the world, grow up and watch events around them
passively. They die in the same state and are buried in
that condition.
Whereas, those who succeed endeavour to
conquer the world and leave it a better place than they
had met it. Such is my vision, that is, what drives my
passion. It should drive everybody's passion, whatever
the circumstances of birth or social standing, state of
the nation or our total environment.
It is therefore my mission to encourage those
who, as it were, are at the bank of the river of life ready
to take a dive; those in mid-sea determined to swim to
the shore and those at the deep-end who should not
despair because they can swim to safety. Indeed, at the
end of every tunnel, there is always a light!
My attitude to life is to do what is necessary to get
where God wants me to be. This is precisely what God
26
has given me the grace to reveal to you in this book -
how I made it. It is a case of revealing my life to you
for the betterment of your own life.
Yemi Omogboyega (February, 2005)

27
 L-i-f-e
Is all about
Taking reasonable risks
No risk, no gain
No pain, no gain
No pain, no pleasure
The higher your risks and pains
The higher your returns,
Gains and pleasure!
Yemi Omogboyega

28
 Chapter 1

My Roots
Maternal

The source of my story is my mother, Late

Victoria Tomire.
Madam Ojorubutu, my maternal great
grandmother, a native of Iyin Ekiti, was captured into
slavery and taken to Ilorin.
Likewise, Pa Olatomi, from Aisegba Ekiti,
suffered the same fate and was taken to Ilorin too. In
Ilorin they met and got married and bore two children,
Olofinse and Olayinka.
When slave trade ended, in the 19th century, the couple
regained their freedom and they both left Ilorin together.
Ojorubutu was unsure whether she would meet
her parents alive in Iyin. However, she struck an
agreement with her husband that if she got to Iyin
and met her parents alive, she would settle down
in Iyin to take care of her aged parents. Fatefully,
Ojorubutu met her parents alive! That was how
she settled at Iyin with her two children -Olofinse
and Olayinka. There were exchanges of visits
between Pa Olatomi and Ojorubutu (for my mother
knew their home at Aisegba) but Olofinse and
Olayinka were destined to remain there. There they
got married and finally settled but paid occasional visits
to their Aisegba home. The rest is history.

29
 Subsequently, Ojorubutu got married again to one
of the Esan's family in Iyin Ekiti. There she bore her
remaining two female children, Olofinteye and
Adetola.
Thereafter, Olayinka (Chief Ejio Olupekun of
Okesale Quarters, Iyin Ekiti) my maternal grand-father,
got married to Ige. The couple bore Victoria Tomire,
Adeniyi (who later became Chief Ejio), Bosede,
Ibidunni and Folowosele. Tomire and Adeniyi have
died while Bosede, Ibidun and Folowosele (who
succeded his brother, Adeniyi as Chief Ejio) are still
alive as at the time of writing this book.

My Paternal Origin

Oral history, as told me by my father, Gabriel

Omogboyega, has it that my paternal grandfather,
Molayemi (the late Odofinyin of Iyin Ekiti) fathered
nine children: Faseluka, Oyeyemi, Asipon, Ige,
Omotola, Omogboyega, Arujo, Aina, and Ereola-
through his four wives: Isikalu, Olofinteye, Faluke and
Ajayi. (The names of the children are not arranged in
order of seniority please!)
Amongst the four wives of Pa Molayemi, the
writer is of the Ajayi grand-motherhood, Omogboyega
being her first child. For the purpose of this book, that
is as far as my paternal history will be traced.

30
 Chapter 2

Welcome To My
Life!
(Childhood,Education
and Early)

Women Had No Say!

The foregoing history of my maternal parenthood

revealed that my mother, Victoria Olofintomire, was
given in marriage by her father, Chief Olayinka, to
Chief Ilugbusi as a second wife.
By my estimation, Pa Ilugbusi might have been
born around the year 1870 while Victoria Tomire, my
mother, was born on or about the year 1910.
No matter the great age of her husband, the
tradition then was that fathers determined whom their
daughters married. That was the case with my mother,
Victoria and she had no choice in the matter other than
to accept the choice of her father.
However, Pa Ilugbusi was fertile enough to father
seven children from Victoria of whom three -
Fehintola, Ajiboye and Julianah, survived. At the point
of my mother's last delivery, she was too young by
African standards to stop bearing children when Pa
Ilugbusi's libido dwindled.

31
My Birth

So, my mother decided to continue bearing children

regardless of the disability or unwillingness of her
customary husband to co-habit.

I am not Pa Ilugbusi's Child!

In variably by her liberty, she challenged the age-long

tradition, which, unfairly, tied a woman perpetually to a
particular man and his family, whether she liked it or
not! It was in this state of flux that she conceived me
for Pa Gabriel Omogboyega who was from an entirely
different family. Their love relationship produced this
writer biologically for Pa Omogboyega. That was on
22nd July, 1957, when my mother Victoria Tomire was
about 46 years of age. Thereafter, it was not only left
for me to discover my heredity as I grew up but it was
the genesis of the hottest battle I had to fight in my
later years!
Meanwhile at birth, I was named after Pa Ilugbusi
who was my legal father rather than my after biological
father, Gabriel Omogboyega. I was also raised in Pa
Ilugbusi's house.
Even after his death in July 1967, I continued to
bear his name till January 15th, 1993 (See the Guardian
Newspaper of 15th January 1993) when after over 25
years of thorough research myself, I found out the true
circumstances of my birth. The discovery motivated
me to change my surname to Omogboyega to reflect
the whole truth about my biological origin.
32
 Since I had promised to give you, the thick and
the thin of my life-story, then let me give you, my dear
readers, the first-hand account of a nasty experience
(but which I now consider amusing) before I detected
my biological origin and reclaimed my otherwise
hitherto lost birthright.

How I discovered My Biological Origin Myself

First, neither my mother nor my father ever one

day called me and (voluntarily) narrated the story of my
birth to me. (According to what I gathered later), it
was left “for the child to discover and decide for
himself what he would do”! However, they
deliberately created the enabling environment for an
observant child to discover the truth.
For instance, I grew up to see my father,
Omogboyega, being very close to me. My father and
mother always greeted themselves warmly whenever
my mother was on her way to the farm or market. My
mother took me to visit my father as often as possible.
Actually, Pa Omogboyega's senior wife, Hannah, was a
bossom friend of my mother. But there was no hint of
the unusual or special meaning to such visits, at least
from my innocent child's perspective.
However, I was very conscious of the fact that Pa
Omogboyega paid me a special affection and he always
drew me closer whenever Mum and I visited him. His
wives always went out of their way to give me surplus
food to eat. His junior wife, Iyaniwura, constantly
visited my mother in the evenings “to buy fish”! I
33
never knew, until much later, that there was no fish
whatsoever to buy by her. It was a simple cover-up or
an avenue for her to deliver messages from her
husband to my mother and vice versa! I was too
young to understand or decode their hidden agenda.
My simple understanding and conclusion was that Pa
Omogboyega was a part of Pa Ilugbusi's larger family;
so I was interacting in a free relationship between both
houses! During his life-time, Pa Ilugbusi himself used
to send me to my father's workshop to repair his
cutlasses and hoes. Even with the benefit of hindsight,
I would not know whether he was aware of the
situation.
As time went by and my awareness expectedly
increased, I began to question things generally. I
remember sometime in or before 1967, I asked my
mother this question: “what is the relationship between
Papa Agbede (or Pa Black Smith, for Omogboyega
was a blacksmith by profession) and Papa Ilugbusi?”.
Whatever her answer, it was never convincing.
Unknown to me, this was the very beginning of my
very innocent inquiry into my biological origin. I
repeated this question often whenever it occurred to
me to do so but my mother always diverted my focus
by introducing new topics!
When Pa Ilugbusi died sometime in July or so
1967, I as a (10 years old) child, celebrating the passing
away of his father, tied my 'agidi' ( a form of khaki
material or wrap around) to my neck and joyfully went
to the centre of burial activities, dancing away
unconcernedly to the local drumbeats. Uncle Ayo
34
Ilugbusi (now late) uncharacteristically shouted me out
of the place! I am not saying here that Uncle Ayo
apparently knew of my actual parenthood or that he
did it deliberately to hurt me. The truth could have
been that he would have ordered any other child out of
the scene to preserve a solemn atmosphere where only
elders were expected to gather for rituals. Uncle Ayo
was such a wonderful man with whom I was very
close, both at home and in the farm. However,
whatever his reason might have been, his action
registered strongly in my subconscious mind at the
time, so much so that I could easily recall the incident
while writing this book. That formed part of the
corroborative happenings in 1979 or so, when the
actual meaningful investigation of what constituted the
relationship between Omogboyega’s and the Ilugbusi’s
emerged.
Sometime that year, my mother visited me. Then
I was living in a Boys Quarter at No. 28 Balogun
Street, Bolade-Oshodi, Lagos. Ever since Pa Ilugbusi's
death in 1967, Pa Omogboyega continued to treat me
endearingly whenever I visited home and he often
invited me to his abode. I still suspected nothing, as I
reckoned that his abiding affection for me was the
carry-over of earlier years.
However, one afternoon, it occurred to me to ask
her again why Pa Omogboyega was so close to me. I
told her my question was important because of the
dear and inexplicable manner he drew close to me
whenever I was home.

35
My mother, as usual, tried to shift our discussion to
something else which forced me to be agitated.
Thereafter, I pestered her to give me a straight answer
until one day, after a long emotional outpouring and
full of apologies for delaying for so long before telling
me the truth, she dropped the bombshell that Pa
Omogboyega “fathered you” biologically!
This revelation upset me greatly and weakened
me to my bone marrows. When I managed to control
myself, I realised that it was a nasty day in my history
as I felt totally cheated by my real father who had left
me to go through the personal sufferings I went
through up till then!
As catharsis ensued from my emotional
disturbance, something flashed the picture of Pa
Omogboyega through my brain and persuaded me to
compare and contrast our facial outlooks. Alas! I am
his direct replica! This fact further aggravated my
anger because I felt that this world had not treated me
kindly at all - what with such vivid resemblance by
which I was seemingly laughed or mocked at for my
naked incomprehension!
I vowed to my mother, there and then, that I
would have to change my name to reflect my father's.
After that, I went further to verify the truth of my
mother's denouement by confronting Pa Omogboyega
with my mother's confession. He confirmed her
statement and I promptly expressed my shock and
disappointment at the very unkind way he and my
mother had treated me.

36
 He too apologised profusely and explained to me
that I was too young to be saddled with understaning
the whole thing and that it had not been his wish to
abandon me but he rather hoped that the situation
would sort itself out, especially at the period of my
maturity. Moreso that if he had boldly come forward to
claim me, the Ilugbusi family would no doubt have
reacted violently an implication that might have been
worse for me as a child . That was why he and mother
reached the agreement that “when the child is matured,
he will decide for himself.”

As much as I can recollect, what follows below

was the sum of his discussions with me:

“Now that you have asked your mother and she has
confirmed the truth to you and I confirm it, the ball is
now in your court. I, and my entire family, will be too
glad to receive you. Indeed it is an open secret among
your younger brother, Ojo and sisters and indeed in my
entire family for I have always discussed your case with
them all. They have been anxious to meet with and
would gladly receive you whenever you decide to come
in. My two wives, too, are no strangers to you, they
eagerly await your coming to your rightful home. ”

After my father had expressly acknowledged my

paternity, I verified the position with members of my
paternal family (especially his two wives, my eldest
half-sister, Florence and my younger half-sister,
Desola) which corroborated my father's assurance that
37
my case was an in-house open secret and that I would
be welcomed into my natural home.
However, two (names withheld) out of my three
maternal siblings whom I consulted were very hostile
to me. To them, it was unthinkable that I should
change my name after 35 years of bearing it or move to
a new family I hardly knew. (Of course, they could
never contenance my relationship with Pa
Omogboyega who, according to them, did not
contribute to my upbringing nor would they at that
stage, condone the new development, no matter how
true it was). There were other vehement reactions and
threats that kept me unsettled for a very long while
before I could summon the necessary courage to
progress my decision to fruition.
Some people tended to look at the issue from the 'bread and
butter' perspective rather than the 'reality angle' - the fact that
blood is thicker than water. My maternal siblings in
particular did not want to know how devastated my
total being was, never really knowing where I belonged
and agonizing for years as I searched for my roots and
the truth about my being!
They wanted me to continue to live in agony and
delusion without a happy rest for my soul! Nobody
wished or was interested in giving me a fair hearing to
know my true feelings in the matter. This hard stand
by my maternal siblings, my own blood who should
affectionately stand by me during such trying times,
aggravated my agony. My mother and I were
seemingly barricaded in one camp while the rest of her
children ganged up against us on the other side!
38
 However, two persons, Uncle Julius Omogbemile
and Chief (Mrs) Elizabeth Adegbola who, at least,
listened to my story and tried to broker peace, became
targets of vicious attacks by my maternal siblings.
Julius was accused of habouring me while Chief
Adegbola was accused of having taken some bribe
from me! (The bribe, according to them, was the
financial role they claimed I played during her
installation as a Chief a few years back!) For three
reasons, I was highly disappointed and deeply hurt to
my bone marrows by their damaging remarks, no
matter the level of provocation! Firstly, because I
never liked myself, or anybody for that matter,
misinterpreting my good intentions to people. I
consider myself a mere instrument in the hands of God
used to touch people's lives. Secondly, Chief
Adegbola was third in rank to my mother by order of
birth. So, by all standards, she was too elderly to be
abused and ridiculed by my maternal siblings as they
did. I felt deeply sorry for her for she did not deserve
the vile treatment she received for trying to broker
peace among us.
The situation was worse for Julius because his own
house was the only place I could stay whenever I came
home for the past several years before the incident.
Due to his very kind nature and indeed he is the man
who championed the cause of every member of the
family and philosophy of life was guided my life
pursuits, he had been the closest person to me in my
entire maternal family (my readers would see more
details on this in subsequent chapters of this book).
39
 Actually it wasn't that he enjoyed the controversy
surrounding me but he simply felt on principle that he
could not deny me and not listen to me! God
Almighty will have mercy upon them for their good
understanding during that turbulent period of my life.
But I also seize this opportunity to apologise for taking
them through such a nightmare and hope that they too
have since realised that I had no choice but to do what
I did.
As the upheaval in the family played out itself, I
consulted with reputable men of God and engaged
myself in fervent prayers. For instance, I met with my
immediate past Pastor, Pastor Owaseye of Christ
Apostolic Church, Orile Iganmu, as well as my latest
Pastor, Pastor Lawrence Osagie of Powerline Bible
Church, Ijeshatedo for counsel. Even though both
men knew not themselves, they were unanimous and
candid in their opinions that since I knew the truth
about my origin, I needed not to be emotional about
my decision. Rather, I should proceed forthwith to
cement my relationship with my biological father. For
a long time, I prayed continually about it until the 13th
year of my discovering the truth when I finally made
bold to effect the necessary changes as published in
“The Guardian Newspaper” of January 15, 1993!

Ripples! Ripples!! Ripples !!! - Things Fell Truly

Apart!

First, my youngest child, 'Bosun, was due to be

christened on the 1st day of January 1993. He would
40
have become the first person to bear Omogboyega as a
surname from birth amongst all my children but the
tension in the air compelled me to maintain the status
quo ante and reluctantly and unavoidably named him
after Pa Ilugbusi because my siblings were with me
waiting to hear Omogboyega's name mentioned so as
to scatter the whole ceremony! God's wisdom and
humility on my part prevailed. The naming ceremony
was inevitably conducted under an atmosphere of
uneasy calm! Although I was very uncomfortable but
to avoid problems, only members of the Ilugbusi's
family were invited to attend the ceremony and they
did but under duress because they were already all
aware of my decision!
Shortly after the naming ceremony, some of the
Ilugbusis who visited me on the issue, after hearing the
full details of my circumstance felt really disturbed and
appealed to me to consider rescinding my decision
outrightly, describing it as a stupid one! However, one
person (Uncle David) stood out of the crowd and were
it possible, solely because of him, I would have
rescinded my decision.
What moved me about his own approach was the fact that
after I had narrated the whole story to him, he saw not only
where the truth lay but also my nightmare and the negative
consequences of the situation whether I stood by my decision to
change my name or maintained the status quo ante. As
recognition dawned on him, I looked at him straight in the eye
and asked him rhetorically “Daddy, why should this happen to
me?” and as I said that, I broke down in tears and wept bitterly!
He too sobbed.
41
 At this open display of emotional abandonment,
Uncle Isreal (my mother's brother) could not himself
help but join us in weeping! Both men understood my
dilemma and I respected Uncle David's very matured
approach of not being unrealistically and baselessly
antagonistic in considering the issue. He listened to
me attentively. But for this man, if posterity would not
judge me, if the generations after me would not be
reminded of the 'foolish decision' their father, grand-
father or great grand father had taken about altering
their biological origin long after I must have gone to
the great beyond, I would have rescinded my decision.
But I could not! It pained me because it somewhat
unavoidably offended him and I had to appeal to him
to bear with me as we parted.
Unfortunately, this innocent but reasonable
bystander became a victim of vicious attacks, starting
from my maternal siblings down to some principal
members of the Ilugbusis family! He was accused of
compromising! So for my sake, he was insulted! My
sincere apologies to him for as long as the issue
rankles.

My Mother and I Were Summoned To Family

Court

At the very climax of the controversy, mother and

I were summoned, in writing, to the Olonitolas' (Pa
Ilugbusi's larger family) Family Meeting to explain the
allegation that my mother had decided to give or had
sold me to the Omogboyega family and to authenticate
42
or disprove the rumour. The arena was visibly
charged. During the meeting, I made bold to declare
before the elders present how I established my real
paternity. They turned to my mother who asked a
rather rhetorical question before which she answered:
“Of my four surviving children, did anybody ever
come forward to claim paternity over the first three? If
not so, then I cannot deny knowledge of the other
man's claim over Opeyemi, my last born!”
Her firm statement provoked violent reactions including
physical threats, as pandemonium ensued. That marked a
complete breakdown in the relationship between me and my
maternal siblings, between my mother and them, between the
Ilugbusi family and Omogboyega's family, and between
Omogboyega and my siblings. In the end, my mother and I
managed to leave the environment unharmed physically.
Thereafter, my own siblings monitored me closely, day and
night. I was disowned and sold out to public ridicule by those
who ought to have protected me. I was spied on and reported
copiously to the whole of Iyin people about my every position at
all material times. So I was placed on tenterhooks!
I received loads of anxious visitors for whom I had to spend
so much money to transport them back home. They mostly came
to persuade me to rescind my decision. I humbly explained my
position to them, convinced them about it and they returned home
wiser, believing that my decision was irreversible if I, and the
generations after me, would not regret ever coming to this world.
Deep down, I appreciated the over-reactions of
my maternal relatives. I understood that it could truly
be dispiritful to lose a 35-year old, seemingly promising
child to another family. I felt for them but surely not
43
at the expense of my own joy. Their pain was
subjective and could never be equated with mine for as
long as I lingered over my fate. Their pain was just
emotional and a tip of the iceberg of my own
psychological and physical agony. There was just no
way to broker a compromise or sacrifice truth for
falsehood, subject God's arrangement to man's
tradition or sacrifice my personal joy (and those of my
generations to come) at the altar of selfish emotions.
Therefore I stood firm and prayed as much as my
strength could carry me.
Having achieved my goal by standing (!), I now
began to work to restore lasting peace. My strategy
was simple. First, I regarded the two homes as my
mine equally. So, I resolved not to change my attitude
towards the Ilugbusis. Thirdly, though difficult, I tried
as much as I could to continue to relate with my own
maternal siblings. Initially it was not easy but gradually
it got better and better.

I Briefed My Wife and Children

One thing I felt guilty about but which I could do

nothing to prevent was the fact that not until the point
at which I had sworn to an oath in the court and was
already about to place the classified advertisement in
the newspaper, I kept my wife in the dark about the
whole episode. The reason being that I was rather too
sure she would be too worried if I had briefed her
much earlier.

44
However, at the point it was clear to me that I was not
going to reverse my decision, I was compelled, full of
apologies for having hidden the matter from her and
our children till then, to narrate the full story to her
and all our children, biological or adopted. I also
prepared their minds for the crisis that would most
likely follow. It was one of the most uncomfortable
moments of my life. I summed up courage to go on.
So I leveled with them about the steps I had decided to
take. We discussed everything at length, the pros and
cons until we agreed on what to do.
That was why it was possible for us all to
accommodate the crisis that ensued as enumerated
already.
Another milestone we had to achieve was to let
my in-laws know about what was happening. But
before I could do that, one of my maternal siblings got
faster there than us. He had gone to my wife's family
to scare them! Eventually, when I got there, I had to
explain my position after which it was discovered that
the person that came to them was actually over-
reacting! So, I, accompanied by my father Pa
Omogboyega, my mother, and my two step-mothers,
Hannah and Iyaniwura with Uncle Ben Esan, visited
my in-laws to inform them about my whole
circumstance, during which I handed over to my
father-in-law a copy of the first edition of (“Better
Tomorrow”) and another pamphlet titled “Why I
Changed My Name” to them. Expectedly, they were
initially shocked, and expressed some anxiety but I
diffused their fears and convinced them that I had
45
been under a big yoke, which had been hanging upon
my neck from childhood. It was therefore inevitable
that I should change my name, which I assured them
had already been effected. They finally welcomed their
new set of in-laws and jointly prayed for better days
ahead.
Finally, my wife and my children physically moved
over to my biological father, Pa Gabriel
Omogboyega's house where his two wonderful wives,
Hannah and Iyaniwura as well as my paternal siblings
by them, who had longed to meet and receive us,
welcomed them with great joy.
So the heat from the Ilugbusi family was
counterbalanced and doused by the soothing balm
from the Omogboyega family. My relief was rooted in
the secret details of my relationship with my father and
his household as far back as when I was under ten
years old, even before Pa Ilugbusi's death.
However, as one of my children, Bosun, once on
reflection, rightly observed, “everything in this world
has advantages and disadvantages”. So I will
concentrate on the merits of my decision from this
point onward.
First, as I grew older before January 1993, I was
miserable because of the fact that I was not answering
my father's name. Secondly, the more I saw my father
and the fact that I am his carbon copy, it
psychologically made me wretched and I looked at life
as not worth living for me at all.

46
Before My Freedom

People said all sorts of things and expressed a

great deal of fears for my personal safety, but I
remained resolute in the God Almighty whom I serve
and in whom I trust. It is a miserable life for a child to
know his father and yet cannot freely and openly relate
with him. This condition reduces the child to a sub-
human existence! That was my agony for the first 35
years of my life! So, my greatest benefit from rectifying
the situation and consummating the relationship with
my biological father was unqualified joy, a deep sense
of freedom, peace of mind and a fundamental sense of
belonging. It was like a big yoke had been lifted off my
shoulders and I felt really light.

I Am Free!

But, the moment I acted, marked the beginning of

laying my life's foundation on solid rock, and self-
fulfillment.

The Benefits of Two Homes!

My second benefit was that my abode became two

homes: where I was physically born and raised, and my
rightful biological home. I knew that it would be sheer
ingratitude were I to desert Pa Ilugbusi's home entirely
-something like one biting the finger that fed one. As a
47
Christian, I could not do that. Much had been given to
raise me in Pa Ilugbusi's house; therefore, I had much
to give back to them in appreciation of their good
gesture and love. They cared for me unconditionally as
a family member from when I was a toddler till I
became someone of substance. That could not be
wished away.

I Realised God's Purposes for My Life

Thirdly, I recognized that God has used me

positively to bond and unite the two families, otherwise
biologically unrelated, into one big family. Today,
happily, the Ilugbusis invite me to all good things
happening in their house and I make it a point of duty,
as their 'son', to honour such invitations whenever
practicable. I am for them. They are for me.

Even In Death, My Mother Benefited!

When my mother died, she died a happy woman.

She was duly honoured by them as if there had not
been any ripple in the relationship. So my mother's
lying-in-state before burial took place in three homes:
her parent's home, Pa Omogboyega's home and finally
Pa Ilugbusi's home where she was laid overnight
before her burial the following day! It couldn't be
better for anyone than what my mother experienced
alive, nay even in her death!. That's why I have been

48
so glad to be a uniting link for both families.

My Mother Did Right

Fourthly, my mother died knowing that my fate

was settled and no longer hanging in the air. That
pleased me indeed.

49
 Chapter 3

What Does the

Future Hold For
Me?
Whatever the details of the circumstances of
my birth are immaterial to me now. Such details
or circumstances, over which I had no control,
have nothing to do with what I eventually become
in life, if I am rightly focused. Everything was in the
hands of God Almighty then, it remains in His hands
as I write and continues to remain in His hands even
when I must have long passed away! What is
important was that I had been born, and like every
other child, I am important in the eyes of my Creator.
What did the future hold for me? How would my
future positively be shaped? How would I fulfill the
purposes of His creation? What legacy might I
bequeath in weathering the storms of my life
successfully? These and many more were the germane
considerations for the rest of my existence. Those
were what have ever mattered to me and will drive my
actions henceforth.

Early Education

I started my primary education at the then All

Saints' Anglican School, Iyin-Ekiti, in 1964. I was

50
adjudged to be quite brilliant as my position in class
was invariably between the first and fifth, except on
one occasion when I inexplicably descended to the
20th position. I never sank beyond this position till I
passed out. I was in primary three when my foster
father, Pa Ilugbusi, died.
When Pa Oladimeji (Pa Ilugbusi's cousin) offered
to pay my school fees, I did not hesitate at all to
relocate to his home in Imesi Ekiti between August
and December 1967.

My Initial Ambitions

I was inspired initially to become a teacher, a

profession I had admired. To us children, teachers
were the most civilized among the professionals. Their
neat shorts or starched trousers as well as shirts were
most attractive to me. I also looked forward to riding a
bicycle, like the shiny Raleigh type that one of our
teachers rode. At the time, I was a very perceptive
child. Though I informed my mother whenever I was
flogged in school, I would also request her not to be
bothered by it as I was only being trained to be a good
child. Mother would console me and that would be the
end of the matter. That was how I fell into Pa
Oladimeji's trap in the first place. To whoever offered
to sponsor my education I surrendered myself totally -
body, soul and spirit!
However, on getting to Imesi, after the expiration
of two and a half months in Pa Oladimeji's home
51
working on his rice farm without schooling, I lost
confidence in the old man and decided not to remain
further under his roof. About that time, fortunately,
Ajiboye, my elder brother, came visiting. We planned a
coup. We agreed that whenever he was returning to
Iyin, he would take me along on the pretext that I was
seeing him off to the bus stop. To tighten our case,
when the vehicle came, Ajiboye would enter and as it
was about moving, I would insist that I wanted to
accompany him home. When the vehicle would have
started moving, I would run after it, crying. After a
short distance, the driver would stop to pick me up.
That was the procedure we executed to perfection even
in the presence of Pa Oladimeji who, incidentally, had
accompanied us to the motor park. He could not
believe what he saw. He brushed my wish aside as a
child's play and advised the driver to proceed without
me. As the driver drove off, I cried louder and ran
after it. My guardian could not keep pace with my
speed. Eventually, the vehicle stopped and with the
assistance of Ajiboye, I clambered aboard. My
guardian caught up with us and ordered me to
disembark but I held on tightly to Ajiboye. Finally he
got frustrated and had to let go. But he countered our
coup by asking the driver to collect the full fare from
me at destination. The driver gleefully insisted on
doing so in the end and it drew a heated debate. In the
end, my eldest sister, Fehintola, paid the adult fee of
nine pence before I was allowed to disembark!
Let me end this chapter by quoting a very relevant
portion of Rev. Dr. Chris E. Kwakpovwe's “Our Daily
52
Manna”, which relates to my state of life as
enumerated. The section titled “There's A Rose Within
That Thorn 2” is relevant:

“God is still saying to someone that no matter the

thorns (faults and defects) in your life, there is a rose
within you. Did something good not come out of
Nazareth, a despised city?

Let God also use you to show others the good in them.
Determine to find the rose within those people around
your life and ministry, despite their faults and defects!
Help others realize they can overcome their faults…!.”

In response to Rev. Dr. Kwakpovwe's clarion call, this

is exactly my message to you in this book:

I have an all-round success virus in me. I would want

to infect those who desire to make it in life.
Please let me positively infect your spiritual, secular,
business, marital, parental, educational, and, indeed,
your total being!

53
 Chapter 4
My Visionary
Mother
Inspite of what I called the 'nasty' experiences so
far narrated, life has not been totally unkind to me. I
found love in my mother, father, stepmothers, brothers
and sisters, extended relatives, and, indeed, wherever I
found myself I was loved! Take my mother's corner
for an example.
Her life radiated boundless love. She was kind and
generous to a fault. To everybody, she gave all she had. She loved
children to a fault. She could not stand the sight of hungry
children around her. She would rather go hungry herself than see
children starve for food. Her kindness extended to adults alike.
She cared for all her siblings (and their children) the same way
she cared for her own biological children. But I was special,
being the last child and the most obedient of all her
children. I was never flogged by her once in a while to
correct me when I am drifting away from set norms
but I was done with deep affection..

I Won her for Christ!

My mother was an animist - an idol worshiper like the

rest of her generation. But she got born-again as a
result of the sickness that afflicted me when I was
under three years old. As the story went, the sickness
had twisted my neck and turned my hair totally white
like an old person's. The only life in me for a long time

54
was that I breathed with much difficulty in a virtual
state of coma. My mother said she had given up hope
that I would ever survive because I no longer ate, but
she had vowed not to bury me until she was certain I
was completely stone-dead!
So one day she took me to a local Church in the
village where they prayed for me. Back home, my
mother said, surprisingly, I started singing a garbled
version of one of the songs they sang in the Church on
that day:

“A-a-a-kaa koko o” (Glorious God)

A-a-a-kaa koko o” (Glorious God)

Although she could not make any meaning out of

my singing, she let me be, and things went on that way
for some time. She was in her own world, and I in
mine. However, she took solace in the fact that the
dying child had suddenly started singing, albeit
incomprehensibly, and that was a sure sign that
something good was beginning to happen in my life.
Thereon, her hope soared when the child who had
long refused feeding began to accept food. I was no
longer sleepless but slept deeply and soundly. The
child whose neck once lolled, could then raise it up
and control its movement gradually. The child who
could not walk before, began tentatively to do so. That
was how I came back from the dead to the living!
That was the miracle that won my mother over
from being a devout idol worshipper to a lover of Jesus
Christ.
55
To crown it all, one day my song became clear to her. I
sang it in full and it made meaning to her. This is the
song:

Orimolade, Oga Ogo, (2ce)

Ohun Rere Wonu Iyin
Ema Bami Yo o!

Glorious God (2ce)

Good tidings have arrived in Iyin
Come and rejoice with me!

Intuitively, once she decoded the song she

promptly joined me in it and the song became our
favourite hymn till I attained the age of understanding
myself.
When my mother became a Christian, she did so
with passion without compromise. She prayed
unceasingly and also prayed specifically for me every
now and then. She tried, always to keep all the
commandments of the Lord to the best of her ability,
the ten of which she crammed as she did the Lord's
Prayer too, as also Psalms 24, 91 and 100.
She was early to the morning service before
anybody. She was spiritually developed. She strove
hard to ensure that all her children thenceforth
understood the ways of the Lord. Regular fasting of
various duration - 3 days, 7 days, 40 days, constant
prayers and meditation, vigils in Church as well as
camps located in the countryside, total surrender to the
Lord in times of adversity - were her ways of life.
56
 This was the foundation of my spiritual awareness
too. We were very close to one another. She told me
stories surrounding my birth and my nursery days.
(However she concealed the aspect of my biological
origin!) She confirmed that she had exceptional
difficulties during the latter period. She dispensed with
taking any form of drugs, local or orthodox. She
believed in the potency of sanctified water for healing
all forms of illnesses. This was during the time of
Apostle Babalola, the Founder of Christ Apostolic
Church, which remained her church for life. Indeed,
she left an oral will that she should be buried at the
CAC burial ground and there she has rest today!
I had a listening ear and this benefited me a lot. She told
me so many things that happened which were enough
to cut short my life-span. However, though she
attributed her misfortunes to the work of her
“enemies”, I believed most of her experiences were
due to inadequate medical care, unhealthy living
environment, superstition and a general lack of the
means of livelihood.
She told me some mind-boggling stories but time
will only allow me to relate only one. One fateful day,
about 5 a.m., we were fast asleep together. A little
space separated us. At a stage, she wanted to draw me
closer to her. As she stretched her hand to do so, she
felt a soft, warm but scraggy object instead.
Sleepily, she moved her hand around the object,
caressing it. She wondered whether she was feeling my
hand or leg wrapped in my rough night-wear. If so,
she felt it was too soft and amoebic in shape. Why was
57
she not able to shift me from my position on the floor
so easily?. Her heart beat faster as those thoughts ran
through her mind and she felt uneasy. She then got
up, adjusted the lever of the lantern up and light
flooded the whole room as everything became visible.
She brought the lantern closer to view the strange part
of my body she had been toying with. What she then
saw almost gave her a heart attack and made her drop
the lantern in alarm! It was a big black cobra! Swiftly,
she found courage to lift me up, ran for the door,
through which she crashed towards where Pa Ilugbusi
was, shouting, “in mo gba mi oooh… Ori I mi oooh;
eeeeh.. ejo, ejo, ejo ni oooh” meaning “help, help, it's a
snake!”. Her SOS screams woke Pa Ilugbusi up. He
quickly reached for his cutlass. He was never known to
be afraid of snakes. The ensuing commotion did not
move the snake. It simply appeared to be saying it was
not there for any battle.
Pa Ilugbusi did not take its complacency for
granted. But as he raised his cutlass the snake suddenly
became challenged and its peaceful posture turned to
engagement. A battle of sorts began. As he brought
down his sharp cutlass aiming for the snake's head, it
dodged swiftly. He missed, it recoiled. As Pa Ilugbusi
swung his cutlass right and left, so the snake moved in
the opposite direction to avoid being struck. The
snake tried to strike him in the chest or spit its
poisonous venom into his eyes. Neither of them - man
or beast - succeeded in their intentions.
By this time a crowd had already gathered in the
corridor. Women and children were wailing. Mother
58
and I, with my step-father's brother, Pa Omotoyinbo,
were at the scene of the battle for life. The continuous
left-right-left swings of my step-father's cutlass now
fully provoked the cobra which had become desperate
while fending off the attack. Finally Pa Ilugbusi
overcame it when he deftly cut off the cobra's head,
leaving its voluminous trunk twitching and trashing in
its own pool of blood on the floor!
Till her death, mother strongly believed that the
cobra was sent by her enemies to harm me. But my
own view now is that, with the proximity of our
building to the bush, the reptile just crawled into the
house for warmth! If it were actually tele-guided to
harm me, why did it take such a long time doing so,
even as my mother's hand caressed it?

Mother and I Traded Visions

Even though I was very young, but through what

I can call a divine touch, I understood my mother's visions
for me. Her greatest ambitions for me were to serve God and see
me succeed in life through a good education. She nursed the
visions of living long enough to nurse my own children, ride in my
car and live in a house built by me. Mother meant them seriously
and she did all within her capacity to actualize them. She
provided all she could to see me through school.
In turn, my own visions for her were very clear to me too. I
vowed to cater for her abundantly till death; I never wanted her to
suffer. Young as I was, I started early fulfilling these
visions in my own little ways. For instance, between
1970 and 1971, when life apparently became very
59
rough for her, I gladly supplemented her wherewithal.
I would, at dawn, hasten to the nearby bush to gather
some firewoods for her cooking and sometimes cut
fresh poles for making tents, which I sold to the
woman ( called Eye Seemi) who used to sell “Amala”
to school childen every morning.
Eye Seemi, the food seller, never failed me.
Sometimes she would pay me the three pence in cash,
or she would give me three pence worth of amala
instead. Whenever I killed a mouse, I would sell it and
give the proceeds to mother. The irony of it all was
that the money would come back to me by way of
meeting my needs!

Our Visions Fulfilled

Mother and I shared our visions matter-of-factly,

as if we were sharing jokes. And God willing, we lived
to fulfill the dreams we had for ourselves before she
departed this world at the ripe old age of about 92
years. I shall give more details as my narration unfolds.

Awo's Free Education complemented our visions

One way God provided for me early in life was

the coincidence of the free primary education
programme the government of Western Nigeria led by
the visionary Nigerian leader, Chief Obafemi
Awolowo, launched at the time. Without that laudable
programme, in spite of my mother's vision for me

60
educationally, my education at the formative stage
would either have been aborted or become impossible.

Mother's unceasing prayers, father's 'remote' affection

plus Pa Ilugbusi's pieces of advice-cum-discipline
whenever I went off the track and the good people
who were friends indeed - Pastors, Tutors, Supervisors
and Colleagues at work whom I came in contact with
in my later life and my absolute faith in God - have
mainly sustained me and inspired my hard work.
As I stated earlier, mother dominated my spiritual
life which laid the foundation of my joy from God. I
was attentive whenever sermons were preached at
church services and tried to understand them through
meditation. However, I hardly read the Bible myself
then! Mother's influence on me was not limited to all I
have said. There are many more areas of life she
shaped my life for the better. This may be an
appropriate place to review them.

My Mother's Nature In Me

As the English would say, a fruit invariably falls by the

parent-tree! Apart from the prophetic caution against
unforgiving spirit I received when I was very young, I
imbibed the spirit of forgiveness from my mother. Up
till now, it is unthinkable for me to keep malice against
anybody. If I get hurt, my immediate reaction has
always been (and will continue to be) that the
perpetrator of such act did not deliberately want to
hurt my feelings. When I would reflect on what I might
61
have done in similar circumstance, I would conclude
that no neighbour would deliberately hurt me too.
Whether my conjecture is wrong or faulty, I forgive
and overlook the error.
Another particular nature of my mother which
radiates from me and dominates my life and which
became a generic driver in my desire to become a
Lawyer sometime in my lifetime was her insistence on
human rights, not just for oneself but for everybody!

I Hate Cheating, I Detest Oppression

I do not enjoy people being cheated at all. From

my youth, I did not enjoy the practice of some of my
Uncles who tricked me into looking at one direction
while they used the opportunity of my inattention to
consume my own portion of food! I detest oppression
in whatever guise it rears its ugly head.

I am Independent-Minded
From the symbiotic relationship with my Mum, I
have developed an independent disposition. I don't
like to be tied to anybody's apron strings!

I Hate A False Standard of Living

Resulting from my independent-mindedness, I

have shied away from situations that could inhibit my
free choice and direction. So, I've had to reject official
privileges like luxury accommodation in a location that
tended to give a false notion of one's actual standard of
62
living. I wondered then how I could live in an
accommodation where electricity and water supply
were steady in a country where everywhere else exists
in primitive darkness. What would become my fate if
the organisation sacked me? How would I adjust in a
new situation: begin to beg? No! - such risk is not in
my character.

I Create What I Like Myself

When I see what I like but cannot afford it, I try

to create such a thing. For instance, what distinguishes
Ikoyi and Victoria Island is the nature of their unique
environment - the trees, flowers, the waters, the open
spaces and so on. So if I could not live in such places
for their cost and sophistication, I could create their
ambience in my own chosen homestead, wherever! In
my particular case, I designed my house in such a way
that I was left with enough space in my one-plot land
to accommodate a11 the pleasures of Ikoyi and
Victoria Island! In addition, I have assorted species of
bananas, pineapples, pawpaw, guava, oranges,
coconuts, breadfruit trees, cocoyams and pears in a
happy environmental unity with yams and cassava
farms within my property.
They enrich my flowers! Everything about them is
useful to me - their oxygen, their fruits, their shades,
their colours! They invite all sorts of my other natural
friends (birds, snails, monitor lizards, even snakes!) to
visit me, day and night! With the exception of snakes,

63
I love every of such visitors as they give me the
pleasure of consistently observing them!
In the end, what is Ikoyi or such-like places to me?
There is no more hankering or envy. By creating or
replicating my own pleasurable environment, I have
not only avoided the sameness and snobbish life-style
of Ikoyi but also set a new standard to be emulated by
my own neighbourhood!

Mother and Her Sibblings, Uncles and Nieces

I have come to realise that the love I have for my

family members and for people in general originated
from the loving attitudes of my late mother. My
mother loved her siblings so much that she played
effective and active roles in everything concerning
them. She was never far away from them, neither were
they far away from her. She served every member of
her family to the best of her ability. She injected deep
love into their lives that they all found it difficult to
detach themselves from her too. She extended her
love beyond them to their children and their
grandchildren, their wives or husbands. Mother was
outstandingly affectionate. She gave direction to them
in all aspects of life. Till her death, she was concerned
for each and every one of them. They, in turn,
reciprocated her good gesture. She was never lonely
throughout her lifetime. So on my maternal side, I
grew up amidst loving people and that love still
pervades my life today. It has extended to my own
children who, all grew up with my mother's siblings'
64
children some of whom, at one time or the other, lived
with us. So in that segment of the family, we are
seemingly glued together! This is in agreement with
my philosophy of family unity!

Mother and my father, Pa. Gabriel Omogboyega

The relationship between my mother and my

father, Pa Omogboyega, was very deep. Inspite of the
fact that she did not live under his roof, they were very
close. I knew this because I was indeed their linkage
virtually all the time.
The most potent tool that my mother and
father adopted that cemented their relationship was:
effective communication. (This, perhaps, was where I
developed and honed my own attitude of effective
and unending interpersonal relationship, which I
apply in bonding with my own wife). I have told my
wife many times over that there is nothing like talking
too much in our marriage. We must talk, talk and
talk, day and night!
My mother and father used to discuss a lot. As
I was always present, I had the priviledge of
listening attentively to their conversations. They
addressed issues together and were never tired of
dialogue. My mother demonstrably lived in two
homes; the fact that she retired to Pa Ilugbusi's abode
in the evenings to sleep was the only difference that
located her legal residence!
However, as they say, there is never a perfect
situation in this world! The fact is my mother
65
begrudged my father because she felt he should
have provided for her much more than he was
ever able to do. She also felt that he should have
been more involved financially in my upbringing. She
never doubted his genuine love or affection for her and
me though, but she wanted it demonstrated materially
in certain areas of my life, like my education.
However, in deference to my father's repeated
apologies to her for his shortcomings and my joint
appeals that life is more than butter and bread by
reason of which she should bury the hatchet, my
mother, in Christian rectitude, eventually bore
everything and forgave father.
That was the true nature of Tomire, my mother.
If she had an issue with somebody and she was in
the right, she would insist on her right. But once
she forgave you, it was all over! She would never bring
up the matter again.
Now matured, I can understand why my father could
not do much more than he had done for me. The
reason was that he himself wallowed in abject
poverty but poverty is not an admissible defence
before any woman in the matter of her maintenance!
My mother was no exception!

66
 Chapter 5
My Biological Father
And My stepmothers, As I Knew Them
My father, Pa Omogboyega, was a Blacksmith by
profession and a subsistent farmer.
From my earliest moments of awareness, I have
always related with him and his influences on me were
situated in his deep affection. But he never disclosed
his paternity to me then. Why he and mother
concealed the fact from me beats my imagination
although the degree of his closeness to me enabled me
to discover much later that he is my biological father.
He either lured me to his shop, or sent my mother for
me. At other times, he would send one or the other of
his two wives (Hannah or Iyaniwura) to get me.
Although he had no money to meet my financial
needs, his conduct showed that if he had it, he would
have lavished it on me. But what he had he gave - love,
which he showered upon me. The measure with which
he gave it to me he gave equally to the rest of his
children.
His workshop had become my usual playground
and I did some chores for him like heating up the fire
in the furnace used to melt the irons he shaped into
cutlasses, hoes, snares and such like. I also went to the
farm with him as often as feasible.
Even as a youth, I had not particularly cherished
the celebration of the famous Ogun festival. But I

67
accompanied him during such occasions and he made
me proud at the time. I usually received my own
allocation of the dog meat used for the festival.
I confess that I was always in a dilemma eating
dog meat. In the first place, dogs have always been my
friends, so I considered eating their meat as a betrayal
of friendship. I agonized over their slaughter for their
closeness to human beings with whom they have
always shared trust. Their being killed was therefore
also a betrayal of such trust.
In such contemplation I often ended up offering
such meat to my peers in our compound who relished
such opportunities.
Father's affection for me was so persistent and
consistent that our mutual intimacy is intact till now.
He is a lover of history, for he stands on the side of
truth. He is also firm but fair. He is a Christian but
(having seen their potency), he does not see anything
wrong with developing some aspects of African
religion. So all efforts to prevail upon him to stop
sacrificing to Ogun (the God of Iron) meant little to
him! Surprisingly too, though an illiterate by western
standards, he is very sound in biblical doctrines and he
quotes what the Bible says without any error
whatsoever!

My Stepmothers

There were three of them - Late “Eye Salu” (I

don't know her real names) who was Pa- Ilugbusi's first
wife and Madams Hannah and Iyaniwura. All of them
68
drew me very close to them as if I passed through their
wombs. They gave me luscious food and treated me
well every time I was with them.
But, Hannah (who was my mother's bossom friend and
a distant cousin too) and Iyaniwura treated me with
such love as if I was their own biological child. They
fed and treated me well every time I was with them.
Iyaniwura used to come to my mother in the evenings
under the pretext of buying the proverbial fish. My
mother was most often with Madam Hannah in her
Restaurant and whenever I accompanied mother there,
she would serve me some pounded yam for food.
Till today, I cannot fathom why they so much loved me.
And their love has continued even after my mother's death. It
has become a mystery. They were surely the hands of God! Even
so, they were not then devoted Christians as to say that they
were influenced by their agape love-that's another mystery!
Rather than continue to dwell on the mysterious
aspect, I have decided that it would be more rewarding
to reciprocate their good gestures by ensuring that they
never suffer in my life-time. Their labour of love
deserves recompense and I have covenanted with my
God that such responsibility shall be my concern.

69
 Chapter 6
My Paternal Sibblings
Polygamy is not an Issue

I am not advocating polygamy in this account. No.

But when people talk frighteningly about the myriad
evils of polygamy, I sometimes wonder whether
polygamy is actually the problem or the absence of
love in people's lives.
My father has had three women in his life. They
jointly bore him, altogether, seven surviving children,
namely: Florence, Comfort, Yemi (myself), Dunni,
Desola, Remi, Ayo and Bose.
By the grace of God, the seven of us are not only very united
but, like it is in Britain, we have an unwritten constitution or a
code of conduct guiding our dealings with our parents and among
ourselves.
First, we have a common vision of how to run our
homes to ensure peace, organize our lives and do the
best we can for the comfort of our parents. All of us,
without exception, do just that according to our
respective abilities. Our parents are happy for our
collective happiness. Between us we share everything
in common and trust ourselves. We have no room for
jealousy, rivalry, envy and all such evil vices that
destroy unwary families, polygamous or monogamous.
We believe that the Lord who created and brought us
together has a good purpose for each of us. We are
not hankering after our father's farmlands but we are

70
focused on being able to create our own wealth
ourselves with our own hands!
If anyone of us makes a mistake, whoever first
observes it lovingly corrects it as if it were his own
error and we take it as a collective action. Each home
is taken as a common domain. Even though we are
born male and female, there is no sex discrimination in
our dealings. We respect one another reciprocally.
We take practical interest in ensuring that our
children interact and act together because they are our
legacies of love, oneness, openness, kindness, godliness
and all the virtues that distinguish the children of God.
We are so generous to ourselves that nothing is small
or too big to give to one another. In my daily wear, for
instance, I always notice that there is a gift from one,
two or more of us. Those who are yet to be strong
financially demonstrate affection and they care. Such
gifts are immeasurable and uncountable. We bless
ourselves spiritually and materially without any form of
public broadcasting. We thank God for all these.
We are particular that each and every one of us
should be economically independent and we act in
consonance with that belief. For this reason we strive
to lift up those of us who are yet to record appreciable
breakthrough in life.
We abhor gossip. Whatever we cannot say before all,
we don't talk about at all. Whoever hears one would
certainly tell others. Therefore, we believe in
transparency to the core.
Because of our concern for our corporate family
development, we frown at laziness and discourage it in
71
our midst so that we can work hard to attain progress.
While we accept that we are at different levels of
development and endowment, we believe that all of us
can reach the top by the special grace of God. We dine
and wine freely together. These are the secrets of our
unity, the strings that unite us, male and female.
On the social side, any invitation to a family
member is an invitation to all. We attend to any such
matter jointly as “THE OMOGBOYEGA FAMILY”
and not in our individual names. That is how we prefer
to run our family.
The presence of any of the three mothers
whenever we visit home is sufficient for any of us as
having met all the mothers. We feel safe and secured,
and our parents cherish our lives and unity.
Is this to say that there are no disagreements at all?
No! Our mothers in particular, occasionally disagree.
Our father also does have misunderstandings with his
wives but we, the children, isolate or distance ourselves
from such disagreements. Our parents know we don't
like such. So, as much as possible, they guard such
disagreements jealously so that their occurrence would
not leak to us. This is because they know we won't
accept any justification or rationalization of their
disagreements. We advised them to always examine
their own consciences.
On the occasions they have failed to live up to
expectation, we gather them together, do praise
worship, offer prayers and read appropriate passages
from the Holy Bible before taking them down memory

72
lane while examining them on some fundamental
questions.
One recurring observation we make to them is
that if God has been kind to them as to protect their
lives and make them happy, would they rather prefer to
court unhappiness? They always chorus: “No.!”
We would proceed: “Is quarreling amongst
yourselves the best way to appreciate God for His
mercies?” Again, their answers are with an emphatic
“No!”.
We would go further to ask: “Is quarreling
amongst yourselves the best way to appreciate God for
His goodness?” They say “No! ”
The next question would be: who amongst them
had God not favoured? Their answer was always in
the negative.
After such rigorous examination and cross-
examination, we counsel them to eschew quarreling
because it offends God. Finally we all kneel before
God to ask for the forgiveness of their sins, which can
provoke God to anger. We round off by praising and
worshipping God once more and then dance. After
that, we resort to the more important business like
group prayers for all members of our family at home
and abroad when we specifically pray for corporate
anointing for the growth of our family, with a
resounding chorus of “Amen!”. Such is how they are
reconciled to God and to us.
Our aim is not to know who is right or wrong. As
far as we are concerned, whoever the offender, they are
collectively wrong! With this ritual method of
73
cleansing, we discourage unnecessary quarrels and
maintain peace in the homestead.
Ours is a polygamous home others should emulate
for survival! And this is the foundation of my
postulation that if only we cared to love ourselves, our
homes, whether polygamous or monogamous and our
life would be peaceful. Someone in the family has to
start the emulation of the way of life we have
postulated and it is never too late to do so. Nobody
will die in the process of doing it!

74
 Chapter 7

Chief Ilugbusi
And
His Influence On Me
Chief Ilugbusi, my surrogate father, was a
gentleman indeed. The fun about him was that he
liked to converse in the English language, even though
he had little education. However, most often, the result
of such disposition might have been laughable doses of
malapropism. For me, although I did not understand
anything other than the strange sound of his spoken
English, I admired him nevertheless whenever he so
spoke because he always explained to me in our native
dialect whatever he had said in English. He was a
subsistent farmer. Although a Christian, he was said to
attend church services only occasionally. I did not
witness any of such occasions throughout our life
together. But he did not associate himself with idol
worshippers. He loved me very much. That fact,
however, did not stop him from beating me as often as
I had played pranks that resulted, say, in the breaking
of the water gourds, palm-wine bottles, calabashes or
whenever I was too inquisitive. Yet he pampered me
with such unbelievable intensity almost immediately
after such beatings!
He disdained to use any form of drugs, orthodox
or traditional, for healing ailments. He believed,
nevertheless, the Biblical saying that everything had its

75
own time: time for strength, time for weakness, time
for good health and time for sickness. Accordingly,
whenever he took ill, he would rest for a day or two and,
naturally, he would recover!
My habit that invariably infuriated him for which he caned
me, many times, was my talkative nature. As a child, I was
always telling stories, without prompting, of whatever meals we
ate whenever we were in our farm. Pa Ilugbusi did not
particularly like that broadcasting exercise. The consequences
were severe.
I remember vividly one occasion that I nearly paid
dearly for my abuse of liberty. The first sets of new
yams were harvested toward the end of April in the
community but with Pa Ilugbusi, some of his yams
were already matured by late March. It was the custom
that no new yam must be carried openly across the
market place until after the Ogun festival (sacrifices to
the god of iron) had been observed.
The festival was celebrated yearly between August
and September, but Pa Ilugbusi did not worship Ogun
and so he was not constrained to abide by such
injunctions. We used to eat new yams as soon as they
were strong enough for harvesting. We either pounded
the yam or ate it cooked, at times with a sauce of
garden-egg mixed with palm-oil and a tasty quantity of
hot pepper. I enjoyed such meals so much that I
thought only the life spent in Heaven might have
compared at all with the period spent in the farm!
This memorable day, Papa forewarned me not to tell
anyone stories of whatever we ate. His warning was particularly
stern concerning the new yam, which we had just pounded and
76
eaten for the first time that year. I promised to keep my lips
sealed. But when we got home, in the warmth of welcome
greetings, I forgot everything. Maybe, my tongue was faster than
my brain, I did not know. All I knew was that I had
summarized the event in the farm in the concise statement, “A
ji'yan l'oko at'usu ibunbun” meaning, we ate pounded yam in
the farm - laying emphasis on new yam. Papa shouted at me but
it was rather too late. The story had been told to the
fullest admiration and satisfaction of my eager
audience. The swift intervention of my step-mother
saved me from the dire consequence of his firm grip.
But I will never forget the terrifying swishing-sound of
the slim but strong, sun-dried atorin (cane) with which
he had tried to discipline me!
As I write this book, there is a kolanut tree,
somewhere very close to his tent then, which he made
me to plant as a historical monument. He dug the hole
and I inserted the kolanut seed, covered it up and he
told me that the significance of that joint exercise was
“if there is a dispute on this land tomorrow, you will be
able to say factually that (unknown to him that he was
not my biological father) your father dug this hole and
that you put the kolanut seed which produced this
tree.” That was around 1964 - three years before his
death.

77
The Relationship Between Chief Ilugbusi and My
Mother

Maybe because she was his very youngest wife or in his

old age, love like wine, had become more meaningful
and vintage, I do not know. My observation was that
Chief Ilugbusi loved mother very dearly. It is pertinent
to mention here that his first daughter was only a few
years younger than my mother. So mother's marriage
to him could only be attributed to the unquestionable
custom of parents, particularly the father, determining
whom their daughters married.
I can confirm that Pa Ilugbusi and mother neither
exchanged unpleasant words nor engaged in any
physical fight, except on one unfortunate evening.
It happened within a twinkle of an eye. As usual,
mother served papa the king of foods - a well prepared
pounded yam. She did not eat pounded yam herself
that night. What really caused it I do not know. She
must have, through her attitude, exhibited some anger -
but I saw papa jump up to his feet suddenly as mother
was leaving the room for her own garri (fried cassava
powder or grains). It seemed a joke, but presently he
held her by the waist, thereby preventing her from
leaving the room. His grip must have been hurtful for
mother uttered a painful cry. The encounter was soon
over. Until death did them apart, I never again
witnessed any misunderstanding between them.

78
 Chapter 8
The Test
Of My Love
Right from my childhood, I have always cared for
others. I could not hurt anyone. I am also on the
gentle side. However, one day, a friend of mine, Bayo
put me to the test. Bayo was of my age group and
we were really very close to one another.
Bayo always ran errands for his parents who, I
later gathered, lived apart. His normal route cut across
our backyard, where a moderately sized rock, about
five feet high and of a circumference of about four
feet, sat lazily. It formed part of our playground during
the day and where, at night, we were told moonlight
tales, especially by “Eye Salu”, my stepmother from the
Ilugbusi side. Around this rock, too, was a heap of
ashes, which served as our staircase and ladder
whenever we chose to reach the top of it.
As it was our pre-arranged meeting spot, I never
one day missed Bayo. Whenever he passed by, it was
our opportunity to do our exciting evening exercises.
On such occasions, Bayo had always been on the
victorious side whenever we fought our inevitable
youthful fights.

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I Overcome Bayo

However, one evening marked the end of his triumphs over

me. As customary, brothers, uncles, sisters, age mates and
neighbours who had always enjoyed our daily shows were
gathered. Bayo flexed his muscles as I stood about four feet from
him. Uncle John Omotoyinbo acted as our umpire and drew a
line between us as he watched us obey the rules of combat. It was
our practice to rotate who indicated commencement of 'hostilities'.
As it was my turn that day, I set the ball rolling.
We wrestled frantically for some minutes in the first round
and neither of us yielded ground. We were separated. When we
resumed, the battle lasted less than two minutes. At a point,
inexplicably, I found myself on top of my brave friend. It felt
marvelous and I was on top of the world! The victory was
celebrated by the beating of tins, broken calabashes
and sticks by the onlookers. To confirm my
supremacy over Bayo, I dealt a few moderate blows on
his exposed body. At that, an unrehearsed song broke
out among the spectators:
“Lagidigbi lole jao (solo)
Ija lole ja (all)

The song and the cheering crowd encouraged me

to freely punch my friend to my satisfaction. The
general laughter, jubilation and approval of my victory
was intoxicating. Then Bayo suddenly broke into tears!
It was the acceptance act of defeat. How are the
mighty fallen!

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 Chapter 9

My Sojourn
At Ajegunle, Idanre
In December 1967, my maternal Uncle, Israel,
came home from Idanre to spend Christmas. I was
there with my mother in their parents house. Uncle
Israel was a very kind, humorous and loving person.
He had heard that I was out of School and offered
to take me with him to Idanre. Mother agreed. So, in
January 1968, we left for Ajegunle, a village some
twenty kilometers after Idanre town. Uncle Aimasiko
drove us from Ado-Ekiti where we passed a night with
him. When we got to Akure, we took a taxi to Odode-
Idanre.
In Idanre Township there were mountains of rock
everywhere! I had never seen anything like that in my
life - a town, which enjoyed, as it were, the support
and protection of rocks as in Idanre. I observed the
sure-footedness of goats climbing the steep faces of
the rocks without falling! They were, indeed, mountain
goats!
From there, the journey was still some 20
kilometres to Ajegunle, our final destination. We
boarded the “Agbegilodo”, the open-back timber truck
that was the popular means of transportation at the
time.
The vehicle was very uncomfortable during the
ride on the untarred road, which was full of bumps.

81
Any attempt by the driver to avoid potholes was
severely jolting and we struggled all the time to prevent
our luggage from falling off. Crossing the few wooden
bridges was the most frightening experience, as they
were very narrow and barely accommodated the lorry.
At every passage, I imagined myself falling with the
lorry over the edge into the rivers or chasms below!
But soon, as with every child, the experience began to
titillate me, and I enjoyed it.
The houses in Ajegunle were built in rows, with
very narrow passages between them for walking.
There were about eight such rows for about half a
kilometer in length.
Uncle Israel had been a contract cocoa farmer.
His income was determined solely by the amount of
cocoa he was able to produce in a year. Any such
output was divided into three equal parts, with two-
thirds going to the cocoa-farm owner.
Ajegunle had only one Methodist Primary School
at that time, consisting of two buildings, each of which
had four classrooms. In no time, Uncle Israel kept his
promise by getting me admitted there. I was glad he
did.
My teacher was one Mr. Komolafe, an Ekiti man.
Another personality I admired very much, was said to
be the son of the Oba of Igede Ekiti. I admired him
because of his love for sports, his talent as a drummer,
his beautiful voice and his smart, trendy appearance.
Mr. Komolafe and this man, name I cannot recall,
lived in the same compound provided for the village
schoolteachers. The house was a stone's throw to our
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door-less house. What we used as a door then was a
board of the hingeless, thick bark of an Iroko tree,
about five feet high and four feet wide. We usually
supported it behind with some heavy layers of tree
trunks at night to prevent it from falling over or being
easily opened.
Our house contained four rooms and a large
parlour. We occupied one room and the large parlour,
while Pa Ogedengbe, a respected herbalist from Iyin,
and two other people from Gogo and Efon Alaaye, all
from Ekiti-land, occupied the remaining three rooms.
There was a large backyard where we grew vegetables.
It also provided space for our common kitchen and
separate bathrooms, as well as layers of holes and cages
where we reared some pigeons and fowl.
Shortly after I resumed school, Mr. Komolafe
noticed my studiousness. He soon became very
friendly with my Uncle and paid us regular evening
visits during which he reported to Uncle about my
academic performance and pleasant character.
I completed my primary three education in the
school that year and was promoted to four. But soon
after, there was a sudden closure of the school, creating
another disruption of my academic undertaking. In
those days, the period between late August and early
February each year was usually unsafe for children in
Idanre. It was a period kidnappers operated in the
surrounding villages. So, for safety reasons, my Uncle
like others, debarred me from going to school. That
was in 1969.

83
 In the interim, I joined in farm-work, hunting and
domestic chores. In the midst of it, I did not stop
reading my books in the evenings when the day's work
was done. Because of my dedicated service, Uncle
Israel loved me the more and encouraged me to
maintain the attitude. I had my own small farm just
beside his that I looked after in my spare time. But I
never forgot my school time and was wont to hum this
popular school song:

Iwekiko, Formal education

Laisi Oko, Without the hoe
Ati Ada, And cutlass
Koipe o (2ce) Is incomplete(2ce)
Ise Agbe n'isile wa, Farming is our bonafide
occupation
Eni ko sise, An idle person
A ma j'alee, Will steal
Iwe Kiko, Formal education
Laisi Oko, Without the hoe
Ati Ada, And cutlass
Koipe o, Koipe o. Is incomplete (2ce)

Face to Face with Death

My sojourn in Idanre was exciting and eventful. On

one such memorable event, I was nearly shot dead by a
hunter who almost mistook me for an animal in a
thick, thorny bush.
84
 Uncle Israel had set snares on animal paths along
the route to our farms. It was part of my daily duty to
inspect these traps every morning. Because of the high
incidence of kidnappings, there was a public injunction
that children should always endeavour to sing loudly
along, whenever they found themselves in out-of-the-
way places. So that morning, as I was out to inspect the
traps, I sang I.K. Dairo's “Owuro Lojo” (make haste
while the sun shines) and a few lyrics of Dr. Orlando
Owoh's gospel song, “Masika” (do no evil). As I recall
these events and remember such beautiful works of
great musicians like Ishola Adepoju's “Ayege ni
Nigeria”, King Sunny Ade:“Alaanu L'Oluwa” (Our
God is Merciful) and “Baba Jen t'egbe” (Lift Me Up);
Ebenezer Obey's “Ketekete”, “Ninu Odun timbe laye”
and “Aimasiko Londamu Eda”, (Inability to
Understand God's Timing Is the Dilemma of Man)
Lady Fashoyin's “Odun yi A Tura”, (This Shall be a
Peaceful Year) Shola Rotimi's “Bowo fun Baba Re”,
(Honour Your Parents) Haruna Ishola's “B'obinrin
dara bio o Niwa”, (I can spend a fortune to marry a
humble girl) etc, and the positive impacts they made on
me, I continue to wonder who, between musicians and
writers impact more decisively positively on the society
and whether writers and musicians put together do not
impact more positively on the society than most other
professionals? If musicians make such positive impacts,
then shouldn't they be more creative and positively
oriented in their works? This is a food for thought for
all musicians.

85
 I sang these songs one after the other as loudly as
I could so that anyone within a range of one hundred
metres could have heard me.
A few metres to where a trap was set, I stopped
singing to take a closer look as I noticed a pecularity
about it. In fact, the trap was no longer there! I was
excited and began to trace the bloodstained path of the
prey. I had to creep underneath the thick bush in the
process, not minding the thorns that pricked me.
At last, I saw the rodent at a distance and resolved to take
it home, come what may; so I crept towards it. I had had the
experience of some rodents escaping on traps at my advent. How
they managed it, I cannot say. Determinedly this time, I raised
my cutlass to hit the struggling rabbit. Then I heard a cracking
“Alee” (meaning Hello) from nowhere. I was stunned, with my
upraised hand arrested in motion. I looked about in my
crouching position but I saw no one. The bush was thickly
enveloping. I was frightened! Could it be a wild animal and if
so, what type? An elephant, a tiger, or lion? But, in any case,
animals don't talk! My heart beat fast and hard against my
ribs. Yet, I could not make a dash for it in such uncertain
circumstance. It was dangerous, so to do!
After a few seconds, the eerie greeting was
repeated and I fearfully responsed, “ooo Bai”. I was
literally floating in my fear! Could this be a kidnaper?
He would be as dangerous as a wild animal.
For the third time, he greeted me, at which point I
was able to catch a glimpse of the personality. It was a
hunter with his gun trained directly on my forehead,
ready to shoot. Luckily for me, I recognized him. We
were from the same village. He explained the situation:
86
“I had almost released the trigger before I observed
that you were not an animal. Why didn't you sing
aloud to indicate you are a human being?” he queried.
Thank God that I escaped being a hunter's game
that day. I went home, doubly rejoicing. But in the
evening, the hunter came to our house to inform my
uncle of what had nearly happened. I had been too
dazed to report the incident myself. However, my
negligence did not prevent Uncle Israel from
conceding to me the right to the head of the big rodent
as custom in such circumstance required!

I Saw My Fingers' Bones

Again, my love for trapping nearly claimed four

out of my five right-hand fingers. Another day, I went
to inspect a trap beside a ridge in our yam farm. But it
had not been sprung and I wondered why it had failed
to deliver. I looked around the edges of the trap and
could not see what could have prevented the targeted
animals from falling prey. Except of course the heaps
of sand nearby, which I resolved to remove.
As I did so with one of my hands, I was ensnared. Indeed,
of my five right-hand fingers, only the thumb was not in the
hook. It was a Sunday morning and I was alone! I groaned in
pain. I tried to depress the lever of the iron trap to release my
fingers but had no strength to accomplish it. I had to lift the trap
on my head to carry it home. Before that, in my panic to ease the
excruciating pain that I felt, I tried to squeeze the liquid from
bitter leaves nearby as a balm with my left hand. It brought no
relief. In the end, I placed everything - my cutlass, the trap and
87
my hands upon my head. The journey took me through a cocoa
farm, then I waded a stream and went down a hilly road before I
heard voices of some people coming my way. Fearing that they
might veer off the main road to their farms, I stepped up my pace
to herd them off.
A characteristic of mine all my life has been my
inability to speak loudly, not to talk of shouting. So,
naturally, loud people unnerve me. But my own tribal
people, the Ekitis, are the guiltier of this disposition.
We talk as if we are in a perpetual state of
quarrelsomeness with much energy and vigour. So
with this morbid aversion to shouting, I could not call
the attention of the people I was approaching quicker.
Eventually I got a glimpse of the two men and ran
quickly towards them to seek their help. This they
rendered agitatedly but promptly. Alas! my trapped
fingers were freed from the snare. By this time the
'teeth' of the trap had so damaged them that I saw the
bones. As blood was still gushing out of the wounds,
my 'liberators' helped me to wrap the damaged fingers
in the available plantain leaves. I had to manage like
that until I got home where Uncle Israel and his wife
pitifully and caringly nursed me to a restorative healing.

I Imbibed Idanre Dialect

My Idanre experience was very rich. I adapted to

the environment much faster than most children
would. As quickly as I mastered the Idanre dialect, so
quickly I forgot my own Ekiti tongue. But for the

88
careful intervention of Uncle Israel, I would have had
to re-learn my native dialect!
I continued to assist Uncle Israel on the farm until
the later part of the first term when, luckily, our school
was re-opened.

89
 Chapter 10

I Came Back To Iyin

In December, 1969, we finally returned home
from Idanre. I was admitted into Iyin School B, which
was the Catholic School. It was there I learnt so much
about the creed, sacramentals - that is, the mystery of
the Liturgy and so on, of Roman Catholicism. It was
compulsory to pass both the written and oral tests to
qualify for promotion in that school. We memorized
swathes of the sacramentals as well as other important
verses of the Duay Version of the Holy Bible that will
last me a lifetime. At the same time, I was a member
of the Cherubim and Seraphim Sect through my
mother. So all along, I juggled my faith simultaneously
as an Anglican, a Catholic and a Cherubim and
Seraphim member in addition to my Methodist
experience in Idanre!
As a matter of personal choice, my good friend,
Omowaye Oba and I decided to leave Iyin School B
and proceeded to enroll ourselves in School A. There
we completed our primary six class against all
entreaties. All efforts by our Headmaster, Mr. Ojo
from Ilawe Ekiti, to woo us back to School B failed, as
Omowaye and I dodged him on the occasions he tried.
Of course, we were afraid that he might prevent us
from sitting for our final examinations, in School B,
which was the examination center for all primary
schools in Iyin, or ensure our failure in the

90
examinations but our fears were groundless! The
School A where I begun my primary education in 1964
was where I finished nine years later in 1972! What
impressed me in my last two years was my membership
of the Boys' Brigade whereby I enjoyed exciting
opportunities during which we queued up to welcome
the then Governor of Western State, Major-General
Adeyinka Adebayo, who himself, incidentally, hailed
from my town, Iyin!

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 Chapter 11

Off To Lagos!

If you have a living God

Who answers prayers,
Your brain and mind to think
Your eyes to see
Your mouth to speak
Your hands to work,
Your legs to walk,
Your ears to hear
And you live amongst living souls
Then there's nothing more you need
To succeed in life

At this point, it will be incorrect for me to say I

had nobody to send me to Secondary School. Between
1970 and 1972 when I lived with Sister Fehintola, I had
so impressed her that she vowed to train me to any
level I chose to attain academically. According to her,
“even if it means selling my properties”. She made the
vow on her return from the hospital where she had
delivered her third surviving child, Dupe. On her
return home, she told me, “you have proved to me that
you are a very caring and hardworking child who can
be relied upon even in times of need”! It never crossed
my mind when her time was due that I was making any
impact with anybody as I excitedly went about packing

92
the baby things and ran ahead of her to the hospital as
if it had been my wife that was in labour! But God, in
His infinite wisdom, made the performance of her vow
impossible! Before I could obtain any forms for and
do the necessary examinations for secondary school,
my brother, Ajiboye, came from Lagos in December
1972 and offered me an irresistible carrot to go with
him (to a celestial place called Lagos!) with a clear
promise to sponsor the scholarship there! That was
how I inadvertently and permanently lost the chance of
having a full-time, secondary school education (but this
was not clear to me then).
Fehintola was unhappy with Ajiboye for taking me
away. She did not forgive him until the day (about a
year thereafter) when she observed from the letter I
wrote to her that my handrwriting “is now straight”.
She could not read but she could see a clear
improvement in the strokes of my handwriting. There
and then she concluded that I must have truly been
schooling. That false scale of judgment finally settled
the rift between her and her brother all on account of
me.
I had heard so much about Lagos, fascinating and exciting
stories that made me think, like other people, that inhabitants of
Lagos did not walk on their feet, but rather did so on their
heads! Another one that said that the dead and the living both
co-habited there together also reinforced this belief.
Fundamentally, those of us from the hinterland
saw Lagos as an escape route to liberty which consisted
ofreality eating bread not only during important annual
festivals such as Easter and Christmas as was in village.
93
So, going to Lagos was a rare opportunity to variagate
our culinary habits to include frequent eating of bread,
beans, egg, and so on. Bread used to be a status
marker of the Lagosians' superiority over their brethren
in the village. Even among Lagosians, as I later found
out, there was rivalry as to the type of bread one ate.
So, some resorted to buying bread with different
colourings to maintain class!
There was a variety that my brother used to buy
for us which we named 'Lagos bread'. It was of yellow
colouring and so tasty that whenever any aeroplane
droned over our village even at its great height, which
made it look only as big as a tiny symbolic cross drawn
on a classroom chalkboard, we would nevertheless
religiously appeal to it for bread on its return, as if the
pilot could hear us and take our orders!
I imagined that my sojourn in Lagos would fulfill
these expectations while the journey to it would give
me the opportunity of knowing towns and cities like
Ibadan and Abeokuta as well as all the places we had
read about in our English and Yoruba textbooks.
My excitement was indescribable. A few days to
my departure, I was full of songs, jubilant like someone
drunk and spoke imaginatively like Lagosians as I laced
everything I said with “Nigbati”. I invited everybody
to my meals with “Wa jeun” - come and chop ( as if I
was always so generous with my meal!). I was already
living the proverbial Lagosian: I dreamt Lagos, acted
Lagos and laughed Lagos. My appetite could only
savour Lagosian cuisine; it could no longer entertain
any other type!
94
 I was so taken up with going to Lagos that I
refused to go on any errand for anybody except,
reluctantly, for my Mum and sister Fehintola. Anyone
else who wanted my services was confronted with my
ready-made answer: “By this time tomorrow, come
and send me on errand again.” I said the same thing to
my mother once, and she countered me promptly: “At
least you are still with me today and you must do
whatever I ask you to do.”

I arrive Lagos!

If it was possible, in my last night, I slept with my

two eyes wide open to the day of my departure. The
reason was that I feared being left behind. At last, the
opportunity came and I rejoiced in it. My conveyance
was Pa Tijani's vehicle. Pa Tijani was a celebrity in our
village because he was regarded as a father to all
travellers. He did his work with the fear of God at
heart and sublime affection for humanity. Old as Pa.
Tijani was, every Tom, Dick and Harry took the liberty
to just walk up to him and drop his or her parcels or
letters to pass on to their kith and kin in Ibadan or
wherever. You didn't need to be his relation for him to
oblige you and bring back replies in whatever forms.
He remained the excellent gentleman he was until he
retired.
Pa Tijani's vehicle was a Pick-Up van popularly
known as “Deku-ma-go-lo” ( a snare made of a can). It
derived this name from the fact that its Nigerian

95
drivers recorded alarming rates of accidents with it and
the passengers were invariably trapped within it.
A little while after we took off, we got to Igede
about 5.30 a.m. and soon after, as we headed towards
Aramoko Ekiti, an edible big rodent dashed across the
road for the Cocoa plantation to the right. Pa Tijani's
attempt to crush it with his vehicle's wheels failed and
so he stopped abruptly, jumped down from the van
and started pursuing it in the early morning light.
Everyone in the vehicle responded in sympathy and
joined him in the chase. The rodent had no chance
with such a determined and hostile crowd after it, and
it was caught eventually. Papa promptly tucked it under
his seat and what finally became of it was beyond the
contemplation of this book!
For the rest of the journey, I was content enough
to feast my eyes on the kaleidoscopic passage through
Aramoko, Erio, Itawure, Ijebu-Jesha, Ilesha, Osu, Ife,
Ipetu, Gbongan and Ikire until we landed at Gate Bus
Stop, Ibadan.
Although we were at a corner of Ibadan, the
atmosphere was still impressive, what with the
cacophony of vehicular traffic, heckling bus
conductors and the general rowdiness. So this was the
Ibadan I had been hearing about and reading of in our
Yoruba books and during conversations! I saw very
big Austin Buses and 'Molues'. The sheer energy of
the bus conductors was bewildering: “Gbagii, Gbagii,
Beeree Beeree, Ojoo, Ojoo, ojeee ojeee, Mokolaa
Mokolaa, Ekoo, Ekoo, Ekoo, Lafenwa, Lafenwa!!!…”;
they shouted and heckled non-stop, announcing their
96
various destinations. The noise of stereo music that
blared from record stores all over the place
overwhelmed the entire environment. It was bedlam,
so it seemed to a newcomer like me. However, I held
on to my brother's apron string, for balance and a
sense of reality.
At last, we made up our minds to join one of the
big buses heading for Lagos. Unknown to me, my box
was erroneously stacked in the compactment of
another vehicle heading for Abeokuta or so! It was
during a final check of our situation as we boarded the
Lagos-bound vehicle that the error was discovered.
After a long and despairing search, it was eventually
located.
I had another experience that started as an
excitement but which ended in agony for me. It was all
due to my naivety. Our vehicle was full to the brim,
although there was a little room at the entrance or
tailboard of the vehicle for those who didn't mind
standing. In spite of the congestion, I had the offer to
sit on my brother's lap but I rejected it, preferring to
stand up at the door so I could have a tourist view of
our passage. I was advised against the choice because
the journey was too far to do that. I demurred out of
excitement and curiosity to see everywhere as we went.
Unknown to me, the Molue was noisier than its speed.
Although I was able to see so many places that I
cannot now remember, after one hour I was full of
aches and pains in my legs. It was so painful that my
spine was strained but I was too ashamed to let my
brother know the agony I was going through. It was
97
indeed a terrible experience as my legs finally collapsed
under me. As I toppled dangerously, those around me
quickly came to my aid. I was then squeezed inside the
vehicle where I was offered another but relieving
opportunity to sit on a gentleman's lap.
After traveling seemingly without end, we arrived
at Ijebu Ode, then at Shagamu and finally at Ikorodu
township. It was at Ikorodu that I started hearing the
vibrating noises of aeroplanes. I peeped through the
window and sighted some of them that seemed to be
sitting on top of us, as they were too low for comfort.
I feared they might fall off but, to my surprise, none
did. What I hadn't known then was that Ikorodu was
the direct tail-end of their descent route to land in the
Ikeja Lagos airport runway!
As from Ikorodu, I saw massive construction
works in progress, being done by gigantic caterpillars
and bulldozers. The snaking and frequent traffic jams
along the way, the high-rise buildings, the overhead
bridges, the extremely wide roads though crowded and
so many other things that a village boy like me had
never seen, fixated my deep interest. The Lagos State
Marcopolo Mass Transit buses were streaming up and
down, so were taxies, other big lorries, and molues. I
was excited to see them all, happy that I was finally in
Lagos. The date was January 3, 1973. As soon as we
disembarked at the suburb of Ketu, we joined another
bus heading towards the megabit bus junction of
Oshodi! Then we arrived at No 5, Salawu Street,
Oshodi which, was my first place of sojourn in Lagos.

98
Lagos is Unfriendly

The euphoria of being in Lagos was short-lived

and marred by two unpleasant denizens: the merciless
heat and ubiquitous mosquitoes! I never thought
anything would make me homesick in Lagos but, alas,
mosquitoes did. I would be forced awake in the
middle of the night, get hold of my usual weapon (a
broom) and battle the noisy enemies with the broom in
circling movements thinking that I could eliminate all
of them to have a pleasant sleep. But I had no weapon
to conquer the heat. Even though I could curtail or
contain mosquitoes by using mosquito nets and
insecticides, which were readily available in the
markets, my brother and uncles never used them. It
was surprising, how they slept soundly! Whenever they
were going to bed, they would make jest of me thus,
“Good night. Remember to kill all the mosquitoes
before you go to bed so we can sleep well”.
After some time, I knew it was a losing battle and
a waste of time. I learned to ignore and tolerate my
tormentors and finally didn't see anything unusual
about them.

I Missed Pounded Yam!

As I finished with one battle, another reared its

ugly head. In my hometown, and indeed for an
average person from Ekitland, pounded yam was and
remains a favourite food consumed every day. But I
99
was soon confronted with eating Eba, thrice weekly or so. I was
scandalised. Although I could easily eat, rice, beans, bread and
butter, beverages and so on which were luxuries back home,
enjoyed only during festive occasions, I still longed for pounded
yam. When there seemed to be no way out, I threatened to return
home because I wondered how I could survive without eating
pounded yam. But all were the unusual pangs and
reactions to uncomfortable adjustments in novel
environments!

100
 Chapter 12

Back To My Education
Uncle 'Safe and My Education

My educational development was taken in hand in

Lagos, for which I was subjected to a rigorous work in
English Language and Arithmetic. Uncle 'Safe played a
very praiseworthy role at this period of my life. The
passage of time has increased my appreciation of his
love. He administered painful strokes of the cane to my
body whenever I derailed from pursuing my academic
career. He has been unforgettable. He taught me
English Language and Arithmetic. One word he had
to drum into my consciousness is the verb “situate”
which took several weeks and innumerable strokes of
the cane to stop me writing and pronouncing it as
“sitmate” in my essays which I had to compulsorily
read out to him.
Uncle 'Safe was a talented counsellor. He made
up for the money he didn't have with words of
encouragement, which he had in abundance. He was
ever regretful of his inability to sponsor my education,
but did a lot for me in kind. Apart from teaching and
counseling, he bought me the first rubber slippers I
wore in Lagos. Within my first month in Lagos, he
took my photograph. He did so frequently and
sometimes together with my brother, Ajiboye. He
took me on sight-seeing to popular places like the old

101
Kingsway Stores, the Leventis Stores, UTC - and so
on, places which were famous in those days. It was also
Uncle 'Safe who enabled me to see the train for the
first time.
Uncle Idowu Omotoyinbo, like Uncle 'Safe, was
another affectionate one. He too had expressed his
regret for his inability to sponsor me or contribute
meaningfully to my education, but he made up by way
of counseling and charitableness. He gave me used
shirts and trousers which he amended to my size as he
did with all other items of clothing I received from
other sources, like my brother's friend, Uncle Samuel,
alias Jasper. Uncle Ayo Atoki always ensured that he
left for me some of the beans and bread he always sent
me to buy for him. All three of my relations Ajiboye,
Uncles 'Safe, and Ayo shared the same room at that
time. Uncle Idowu Omotoyinbo lived somewhere
close to Obey Street in Ikeja.

I Started Secretarial Studies, instead of a

Secondary School!

Aside from poverty, another enemy I had was ignorance.

Ignorance is truly a disease! Rather than offer me a secondary
school education, Brother Ajiboye enrolled me in a Secretarial
Insitute! Of course, I jumped at the change - crumps actually -
which, unknown to me, would permanently foreclose my chances
of ever attending a full-blooded secondary school for life! I
doubted too if my brother himself comprehended the full
implications of this diversive decision himself. Neither of us
perhaps understood the difference between a mere local institute
102
and a proper grammar school. That ignorance has kept scars
that will remain with me for life.
So in February, 1973, I was enrolled into the Alex
Institute of Commerce which was located two streets
away from our dwelling place at Salawu Street, Oshodi.
I had neither heard of, nor seen, nor practised any
subjects relating to both Typewriting and Shorthand.
So the day of enrolment to study them was my first
experience with them. My third subject of study in the
Institute was the English Language.
My brother, Ajiboye, provided my books promptly
and paid my monthly tuition fee of two naira (N2.00)
for three subjects as and when due. He did this
faithfully till August and stopped wilfully. His
decision was simply to punish me for breaking a glass
cup. This would appear minor in today's world but in
those days, such household items were treasures to
those who had them and whoever was unfortunate to
break any of them received punishment commensurate
with emotional loss! That was the issue in my own
case.
I couldn't do anything about it and it marked the end
of anybody ever sponsoring my education till today.
But I must at this juncture record my appreciation of
brother Ajiboye's immense contributions to my life.
THERE WAS NO DOUBT THAT HE REALLY
TRIED TO DEMONSTRATE HIS LOVE FOR ME.
Before, I used to hold it against him for not
completing what he had started in my life. But today, I
am wiser. I now clearly understand that it was God,
not Ajiboye's desire, who did not permit him to carry
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through his good intentions for me. OF COURSE,
MY MOST CARING DADDY AND ALMIGHTY
FATHER, WANTED TO DO EVERYTHING HIS
OWN WAY AND TAKE ALL THE GLORY,
ALONE. He just won't share the glory of my
breakthrough in life with anybody - no matter how
closely related to me that person might be! At least,
this became manifest when I changed my name and
none of my siblings took it lightly with me. Perhaps at
that painful moment when I had nobody to turn to,
except God, they probably would have made me feel
very guilty as an ingrate if they had done more to make
me somebody in life!
At this juncture, I give to God all the glory,
honour and majesty for His unconditional love for me,
for He left no room for anyone to taunt me: “if not for
me, would you have been who you are?”
All the same, Ajiboye receives my abiding
gratitude for the much he was able to do during my
primary schooling, my exit from Imesi Ekiti, his
quarrel with Fehintola in order to get me out of Iyin,
his bringing me to Lagos and finally enrolling me in a
Secretarial Institute which was the foundation upon
which all other qualifications I later acquired were
fashioned. In spite of a period of apparent
recrimination between us, he was still the one God had
used to secure my first ever employment at Specomill
Textiles Limited, Ikeja, where he then worked! That
surely is the stuff of which brotherly love is founded.
He deserves my commendation and gratitude.

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 Chapter 13
My Destiny
In My Own Hands
My brother's unexpected withdrawal of sponsorship was a
fateful development, which marked when I had to take my
destiny in my own hands. I managed to remain in Lagos
thereafter because God destined it to be so. At that
crossroads, I must acknowledge the invaluable
contribution of my brother's late friend, Tunde Samuel.
He became my strong advocate but because God's will
had to prevail, all his efforts to see me back in school
came to nought. May his kind and gentle soul rest in
perfect peace. Amen.

My Future Is Uncertain

Despite my late knowledge of the profession, I

loved Secretarial Studies tremendously, and the
Shorthand course part of it in particular. Within the
six months I spent at Alex Institute before my debacle
ensued, I had cultivated a good reading habit, which I
acquired in order to be proficient in Shorthand.
September and October went by, and no lesson fee
was forthcoming but I continued to attend classes at
the mercy and by the grace of our proprietor, who had
noticed my outstanding ability and was pleased about
my great progress. A bleak and an uncertain future
stared me in the face, unless relief came fast enough.
The expected relief never came!

105
I stopped Attending Lessons

In human terms, all good things have an end.

Alex, our Proprietor, normally did not tolerate a
student remaining in class after the third day of the
month without paying his or her fees, but I was an
exception. He allowed me to attend classes without
harassment or restrictions. But in the fourth month of
his grace, that is, January 1974, I myself decided to stay
at home for fear of forcing the hand of my kind
proprietor. At that point, my total indebtedness to the
Institute was six naira (N6.00). By the special grace of
God, eight years later, I settled the debt with a four per
cent annual interest rate. The proprietor happily
acknowledged the repayment and expressed surprise
that someone could repay such a long debt voluntarily.
The inspiration to do that, no matter how long it took,
came to me from the example of the late Chief
Obafemi Awolowo autobiography, “My Early Life” I
read while writing the first edition of this book. In it,
he stated that out of sheer honesty and transparency he
had to settle longstanding debts years after his creditors
had forgotten them. I was encouraged to follow suit
because I considered it a worthy behaviour to be
emulated by a good Christian that I aspired to be.

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 Chapter 14
All Roads Closed
In my first three months of solitude, I devotedly
practised Shorthand but by the fourth month, I began
to wonder if it was not pointless remaining in Lagos
with no definable future. I sought for what would
keep me constructively busy because I still yearned for
a life-long career, even if I had, meanwhile, given up on
my academic pursuit.
I agonized over my situation because I knew that going
back home after a year's stay in Lagos would affect my life
adversely as that would mean starting all over again. To gain
admission to a higher school would be difficult because I had
already given up the study of Arithmetic, which was a key subject
of any entrance examination! My progress so far in commercial
studies, especially in Shorthand, was something I did not like to
disrupt in any way. Of the seven of us who started Shorthand at
the Institute, I was clearly the most promising.
I reflected deeply and observed that the only two options
left for me was to either become a hunter or a driver but I felt
that any such undertaking was not good enough for me as I
believed strongly that my life's achievements would be anchored on
a good education. I was also conscious of the fact that poverty
dominated my total environment. Unfortunately, it was the
biggest heritage I had! Of course I did not like it and needed to
reject it as a fait accompli,if it were not to be the possible legacy
of the generations after me.
My path was therefore clear to me in two
perceptions, if I were to break out of the shackles that
107
threatened to engulf me: move closer to God and work
out my own destiny any way I could. These had been
the underlying thoughts that kept me going for three
months after my fees had dried up at the Secretarial
Institute.
As I have already acknowledged, Mr. Tunde
Samuel had made a significant entry into my life, which
he tried to keep on course. He was indeed a good
neighbour. He it was who encouraged me to read on
my own and weaned me from the idea of going back to
the village to hunt game. His was the timeliest moral
support I ever received from anybody. Despite the
encouragement, I was still in frustration and tired of
reading all alone without the school environment that
gives purpose to it. As a result, even my practice of
Shorthand, my best companion, began to suffer.

“A a Pade L'oke” (We Shall Meet At The Top)

There is this Uncle (name withheld) that I had

faithfully looked up to for help. He had consistently
promised to send me to school. Perhaps he did not
realise what such promises had meant to me then! If
he had known, he probably would have promised me
something else he could accomplish; certainly not
education that I very much treasured. Meanwhile I
took his word as his bond, seriously and hopefully
believed that he would one day fulfill it. For this
reason, prior to and during my turbulent times, I kept
visiting him, as a constant hint of my expectation from

108
him. Each time I went to his house he fed me and paid
my transport fares back home, but nothing else.
Finally I lost faith in him and stopped visiting him.
On my way home one day, in the frustration and
disappointment that engulfed my total being, I
prophesied impulsively: “A a Pade Loke”, meaning,
“we shall meet at the top”.

109
 Chapter 15

Whither My Life?
Precisely the above question was what I asked
myself at this point my life.
I confided in Jasper - that is, Tunde Samuel, a Printer by
profession - about the ghosts that hunted me. He then advised
me to take to printing, a profession where he felt he could
give me his unstinted assistance. After an extensive discussion,
I agreed, although I still doubted that I could make a career of
it because of the huge cost of establishing a printing press.
I had no money to my name and, to begin with, I didn't
know how I was to pay the sum of one hundred naira as
apprenticeship fee. Although my brother, Ajiboye, gave his
blessings to my change of career, his concurrence was not
backed up with the one hundred naira needed to pay the
apprenticeship fee. Neither did he promise to pay it at a later
date. Jasper himself wasn't bothered that I could not pay the fee.
He was satisfied that my brother gave his consent for
me to learn the new trade. So he proceeded to
take me on, free of charge!
In march 1974, I started attending his training
workshop. The workshop was located at Igbehinadun
Street, near Bolade Bus Stop, in Oshodi. I was one of
the three apprentices with Jasper then; the others
were Ade (now deceased) and Boluwaji, who were
Jasper's nephews.
I was designated the Compositor who set the
types. Late Ade was in charge of prints while
Boluwaji handled the menial jobs. I learned quickly

110
as I did with my Shorthand. Jasper was responsible for
only my lunch but, sometimes, he provided breakfast.
He clothed me too and gave me the first pairs of
leather shoes that I ever wore.
Unfortunately, a few months after I started my
printing career, the business collapsed. So was my
dream of becoming a printer, which died a natural
death.

111
 Chapter 16

My Wandering
Days
The only way forward thereafter was for me to
take any kind of job that came my way and which
would fetch me the money to resume any form of
further education. For this purpose, I trudged
repeatedly to several companies including Enpee
Textile Industries Limited, Ilupeju, Aswani Textiles and
Arcee Textiles, both in Isolo. I walked across the gates
of almost all the companies in Ilupeju and Isolo but all
to no avail.
What I can never forget was the maddening rushes
applicants made anytime the Enpee gate was opened for the
selection of factory hands. I succeeded only once in those rushes
but my reward was being rejected for being too young to be
employed. I wept profusely inside me that morning but the
internal bleeding could not get me the job.
I had a companion in this job-seeking and
harrowing existence. Uncle Sola, a brother-in-law who
lived with us, was naturally a cheerful fellow but he was
weather-beaten by unemployment, which visibly
affected his personality. Our territorial job-seeking
covered Ilupeju, Ikeja and Isolo Industrial Estates
where the textile companies were strategically located.
We trekked all the ways, and still found the
perseverance to occasionally visit the zoo in way-out
Yaba to cheer us up. Whenever we went to Yaba, our

112
preferred route was along the railway line from
Oshodi. If our area of interest was in Ikeja Estate, we
would go through Arowojobe Street in the heart of
Oshodi, to the interior of Sogunle and come out at the
Shogunle Bus Stop. Sometimes if it suited us, we
would exit at Ladipo and then take our lonely route -
the railway line.
For me, many things recommended the railway
line: its quietness and straightness - confirming the
reality that the straight line is the shortest; the rats that
delightedly scurried across the rails every now and
then, and the clumps of thickets that used to adorn
both sides of the rail route. I loved the step-to-step
arrangements of the wood and iron bars that made up
the railways and which mostly determined our strides.
The whitish or sometimes brownish stones that filled
the gaps on the floors of the rails were also beautiful to
behold. But the serenity of the railway was also marred
by the fact that the surrounding communities of people
had turned it into a convenient avenue for waste
disposal, much of which contained raw human waste.
So at long stretches along the line, one had to fight to
breathe easily because of the stench that oozed in the
air.
I was so familiar with the railway routes that I had
accurate timing of their distances. From Oshodi,
through Shogunle, to Ikeja Industrial Estate was
exactly a thirty-minute pleasurable journey on foot.
And from Oshodi to Yaba Bus Stop, it was
approximately forty-five minutes.

113
 Uncle Kayode Agbebunmi was another co-
traveller applicant with whom I would have
accomplished the most historic trekking exercise in
Lagos.
Our journey to Yaba, job-hunting, was, as usual,
unsuccessful; after which we decided to visit Uncle
Samuel Ayelabola in Ikeja and go on from there to visit
Uncle David Bankole at the interior of nearby Agege.
Even though I had no idea of the distance of the
proposed journey, I convinced Uncle Kayode to let us
trek it. At the time, the new Ikorodu, ten-lane
Expressway had not been constructed. There were
thick bushes on both sides of the existing two-lanes.
We had begun our journey along our favourite railway
line but a little after Mosalasi Bus Stop, we abandoned
the rail line and took to the pedestrian walk way of the
Ikorodu highway. We conversed and cracked jokes as
we trekked, oblivious of the world around us. The
animated conversation seemed to have taken away the
tedium of the journey. After Obanikoro Bus Stop,
almost opposite the Ilupeju Super market, I looked
down along the path and sighted a ten kobo coin lying
before me! As if it was about to disappear into thin air
I dashed for it, grabbed it and showed it to my Uncle.
That was how the Almighty God saved us from having
to trek all the way from Yaba to Ikeja that fateful day.
Such were our daily rather hopeless perambulations
throughout Lagos, and after several weeks of
unsuccessful attempts at securing a job, I wondered
what next I could do - go back home? I asked myself.

114
 Chapter 17

The Road Is Open!

I Secured Employment with Specomill

Every stage of my efforts to secure a job I had

faithfully reported to my brother. He too had taken up
the employment matter seriously. He spread a dragnet
among his friends for any opportunities of
employment but he finally succeeded with his own
Chinese boss, Mr. Hu, who was the Production
Manager of Specomill Textiles Limited in the Ikeja
Industrial Estate. I submitted a stereotyped application letter
laced with such humbling phrases and clauses as “I beg to
apply”, “with respect”, “I promise to do anything that comes my
way”, ending up with “Your obedient servant”. I was invited for
an interview. My only proof of schooling at all was my primary
six testimonial. I took it with me as I had not yet got my First
School Leaving Certificate, though I was convinced I had passed
the final examinations.
At the interview, Mr. Hu held my hand tightly, pressed
them together and shook my entire body. After a curious stare
into my eyes, he said that I was unsuitable for what I applied for
but for my brother's sake, he was reluctantly giving me the job. I
commenced work in the Drawing Section of the Company on the
4th day of June, 1974.
In the organizational hierarchy, the Drawing
Section was preceded by the Sizing Department but
was followed immediately by the Weaving Section
while the Spinning Department preceded the Cone

115
Winding Section. The Spinning Department spins the
yarns, passes them in cones onto the Sizing
Department, which, in turn, starches and rolls them
into “beams” of various sizes for onward transmission
to the Drawing Section.
The beams were of various sizes. We had the
1070's and the smallest size being the T.U.M's. Our
activities in the Drawing Section included loading the
beams onto trucks from where they were packed near
the Sizing Department, and pushing the trucks to our
own machine for drawing. Beams can indeed be very
heavy and, as Mr. Hu had rightly observed, my strength
was inadequate for the job. It took me some time to be
able to lift the smallest beam, the TUM.
On finishing our drawing activities, we then
passed on the beams to a depot where the Weavers,
with their own trucks or sometimes with ours,
transported them to any vacant weaving machines.

Excitement Indeed!

In my excited state of employment which I

ignorantly regarded as a 'government job', I sometimes
thought 'dangerously' about my future. I mused often
thus, “ Yemi, you are now lucky; you have got a
“government” job where you will be paid salaries: why
read further!”

116
I Bag A Suspension!

Specomill worked round the clock on a 3-shift

basis. I was on afternoon duty one week and at the
bus stop about 200 yards from the factory, when the
alarm for 2pm sounded. This marked the official
closing time for those on morning duty as well as the
resumption time for those of us on afternoon shift.
The sound of the alarm galvanized me into running
the race of my life that day. The regulation was that the
gate should be closed immediately the alarm stopped blowing and
the alarm was always for only one minute. Unfortunately, in
spite of my strenuous effort, the alarm stopped just as I was at
the entrance. The iron gate shut me out. It took no notice of my
profuse perspiration nor of my heavy breathing. I was virtually
paralysed with the fear of dismissal. I was stunned but feverishly
appealed to the policeman at the gate. Mercifully, he let me in.
Yet, for the few minutes lateness, I only narrowly escaped a
harsher punishment with a seven-day suspension!

I Went Back to The Reading Table

All things work together for good to them that

love God. The Bible is right. The suspension period gave me
the opportunity to reflect deeply on the kind of job I was doing.
It was quite clear to me that I had no bright future in it and I
was therefore quick to identify what my next line of action would
be. I decided to resume my secretarial studies, this time around,
on a part-time basis.

No Right to My Income
117
 Yes, it was true that brother Ajiboye was
instrumental to my securing the job. However it is
pertinent also to state that I was forbidden to take out
even one kobo from my wages. I must pass on the pay
packet to him en bloc whenever I received it. He was
not saving any of it for me either. But he gave me
transport money on daily basis.
The month following my suspension, I made my
intentions known to him and requested that provision
be made for my lesson fee from my wages. He would
not oblige. I was in a dilemma. Finally, I took courage
to deduct my lesson fees before passing on the rest of
the wages to him. He did not like this 'revolt' and
reacted by asking me to secure my own
accommodation. Our disagreement on the matter
dragged on for some time.

My Frustrations At Specomill

As a result, every day I spent at Specomill Textiles

Limited, especially after the episode of my suspension, brought me
more frustrations.
I became tired of the shift duties, particularly, the night
shift. Night duties used to elicit my fervent and open prayers, so
much so that my colleagues began to make jest of me. They even
nick-named me Pastor, Evangelist, and what have you. I
developed a negative attitude to my job. At night shift, one could
not close one's eyes for a brief moment without being threatened
118
with dismissal. Job security was not guaranteed. My future
remained uncertain. I was really tired: of the mosquito bites, the
heavy beams, the roaring voice of overbearing supervisors and
their assistants, the Over-lookers, the Foremen and their
delegated lieutenants, the fear of the small gods themselves - the
Chinese - in face a smile incorporated the pushful shouts of
“work, work, work … or me sack you”! I was indeed fed up
with everything!
For me, life in the factory was only comparable to life in
hell, especially because health and safety issues were not properly
addressed.

Back To The Institute

As I was saying, in order to resolve or alleviate the

prevailing inequities, I returned to my studies. Indeed I
began lessons again in a different Insititute - Ayedojo
Secretarial Centre. As God would have it, the
Proprietor of this Centre, Mr. G.K. Oyedele, became
another counselor to whom I owe a debt of gratitude. I
cannot fully evaluate the extent of his persuasion,
tolerance, timely advice and personal encouragement to
motivate me to work harder. Whenever I was
depressed and indeed uncertain of my future, he would
spend quality time counseling me into safe waters,
citing his own experiences to stabilize me. He allowed
me to make use of his Institute on Saturdays and
Sundays, full time. The small tape recorder that I
bought with part of my share of the nation-wide, 1974
Udoji Salaries Award became my 'wife'; Shorthand,
Typewriting and English Language were my children!
119
 I Meet Makaiva Abioko Tombri

A few months later, during my encouraging

progression into the Shorthand speed class, I got
acquainted with someone who later became a friend
and a great influence on my life. His name is Mackaiva
Abioko Tombri, my senior in the speed class. What I
first observed in him was his calmness and dedication
to Shorthand. Then his teaching ability which was
profound whenever Mr. Oyedele yielded the classroom
to him. Indeed, Mr. Oyedele made good his confidence
in Makaiva later by paying him a stipend for his
services.

Good News No. 1: Clement Passes Pitman's

Examination!

I had in my set in the Institute, such other

outstanding talents as Clement Ogbeide, Edith Onyeka
and Victoria Ikhile. Clement was the first student to
pass the Pitman 80 words-per-minute (wpm)
Shorthand examination. The news of his success
caught us by surprise and Clement became an instant
celebrity. To us all, he was a genius and his feat
gingered us to work harder on our Shorthand.

Good News No. 2 - Edith Passes RSA

Examinations!

120
 The second jolt of good news concerned a lady,
Edith Onyeka (now unfortunately deceased) who
passed the Stage 1 of the Royal Society of Arts (RSA)
London examination in Typewriting. She was soon
closely followed by Victoria Ikhile, who succeeded at
the same grade. This spate of successes spurred the
rest of us on as we realized that nothing could be
beyond us if we remained focused.

Good News No. 3: Edith and Victoria Secured

Employment!

One evening as we were in our speed class,

somebody came in to see Mr. Oyedele. His name was
Mr. Akinyombo who worked with the Administrative
Staff College of Nigeria (ASCON), Badagry, which was
then based in Ikeja. He was on a recruitment drive and
our two successful ladies with the Stage 1 RSA in
Typing were employed without much ado! Thereafter
their attendance in classes became irregular, although
they continued to practise their trade regularly in their
new office.

Good News No. 4: Edith and Victoria Passed

RSA/Pitman Exams!

In their employment soon after, Miss Onyeka

broke the news of her success in the RSA Stage 11
Typing while Miss Victoria Ikhile's success was in the
Pitman Stage III Typing Examinations. But what then

121
kept us focused about them was their (continued)
employment.

122
 Chapter 18

I Left Uncle
'Safe's House
At the time that I enrolled at Ayedojo Secretarial
Centre, I was living with Uncle 'Safe, because my
brother, Ajiboye, had then returned to Iyin. Uncle Safe
and I were compatible in every way except on bedtime.
His latest time for bed was 10pm while I was used to
studying much later: sometimes I did not sleep until 3
am and, most such times, I slept outside. My stay with
Uncle 'Safe was therefore short-lived.

I Move to Mr. Tombri's House

One day, I left, reluctantly, Uncle 'Safe's abode so as to

live with Makaiva. During my sojourn with my new
host, I discovered that he was what he was by God's
grace, coupled with his sheer dint of hard work. We
shared similarities except that, unlike him, my parents
were still alive. He had lost his, but he had a special
day of the year dedicated to his mother's memory.

Our Characteristics and How We Managed

Ourselves

Makaiva was a very cautious person. Unlike him, I was

impulsive. We were both inquisitive and enthusiastic,
particularly educationally. We competed healthily with each
other. He passed the 80 wpm in Shorthand before me but I

123
passed both the 100wpm and 120wpm stages ahead of him.
Every step either of us identified as good, we both followed. We
joined the English Language course of Business Training
(Correspondence) College, London and completed it together
successfully.
Employment wise, we worked together at Lovell
Stewart Nigeria Limited (LSN). Later he left LSN to
join Unitan Construction Company in Anthony village
where, and sometimes, he slept in the office. From
there, he joined UpJohn a Pharmaceutical Company
located around Toyota Bus Stop along Oshodi-Mile-2
Expressway. Again, we narrowly missed working
together.
We registered once with the National College of
Commerce, Bariga, for evening classes. He was the
first to withdraw, I followed suit. Our quest for
knowledge continued apace and we joined the
Progresside Evening Classes at Mosalasi Bus Stop.
This time when I withdrew, he immediately followed
suit. We both studied at the United Christian
Secretarial College, Apapa, where I enrolled in the
1980/81 session. He joined me there the following
session, and we were both successful in the final
examinations. Ours was a twin or symbiotic existence
and whenever one of us was successful, the other
threw a party to mark it. We did not allow any room
for envy but rather emulated one another's good
qualities.
As I said, I had gone to live with Makaiva reluctantly.
My reluctance had been based, honestly, on tribal sentiment in
spite of my strong, natural attraction to him. But I am glad I
124
took the bold step of venturing out to break down a pointless
tribal barrier. I still wonder about what heights I would have
attained if I had not lived with Mr. Tombri when I did.
Makaiva's loving disposition erased for ever any consideration of
tribal sentiments from my life, so much so that our friendship
extended to his own siblings.
During the period we lived together at No. 5
Boladale Street, Oshodi, we organized private classes
for students including those preparing for fresh
examinations and those who had re-sits in secretarial
subjects. Some of our students then included Misses
Aminat Ayinde (now Mrs. Abe), Stella Njimanze, and
Justina. Nwogu. We taught them as much as we were
imbibing in our own studies. Makaiva led the speed
class while I handled the theoretical aspect. We
charged no fees, yet there were days I taught until I was
exhausted! Our major reward was that the exercise put
us on our toes at all times, thereby ensuring our
mastery of the subjects. This was great gain in the
circumstance.
Eventually, I was strong enough to rent my own
apartment and Makaiva and I lived apart for good.
Only God can reward him adequately for all he did to
make life easy for me. But I am also glad that today we
live together as neighbours where he and I have built
our own houses side-by-side!

Backsliding, Revival and Redemption

That God has dominated my life is not in doubt.
However, the month of August, 1976, witnessed the
first spectacular miraculous work of God in my life.
125
 My religious background, coupled with the
challenges of the generally unsatisfactory nature of my
employment, had turned me into a dedicated and
prayerful Christian even though I did not attach much
importance to Church-going or to Bible-reading per se.
Little did I also appreciate the full extent of Christ's
might.
Uncle 'Safe and I had stopped altogether, going to
the Gospel Faith Mission which we had attended only
briefly. I might not have withdrawn but for the day
that the whole congregation, with the Pastor in the lead
himself, burst into tears simply because he said some
happenings indicated that the end of the world had
come. I had believed firmly that church should be a
place for joy, not an arena for mourning. I also
believed that rather than engage ourselves in weeping
and wailing, we should rather practise what the Bible
says and bother less about when the end would come,
so that whenever it came, it should not surprise us.
What should matter to us was to be rapturable. I also
held to my belief that this world is a University where
we should graduate to our heavenly homes. Therefore
we must not idle away here. I was also sure that if we
failed in this world, it would be difficult to make
heaven somehow. Because of these considerations, I
stopped frequenting the Church!
One Saturday evening sometime later, my friend,
Jimoh, from Oke Agbe in the Akoko Division of
Ondo State, visited me. We had lived together before
at No. 5, Salawu Street, Oshodi. He came to share the
good news that he had become a Christian. He had
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come to invite me for conversion. He belonged to the
Christ Gospel Church sect which was then situated in
the Odi-Olowo Area of Mushin.
Even though I had turned down similar invitations
in the past, it was wonderful that I accepted Jimoh's,
apparently coincidental to my frustrations in my place
of employment and the uncertainties of my academic
ambition. So, on the following Sunday, we went to
Church together.

Ask God for Whatever You Want!

Although I cannot remember the content of the

praise and worship songs we sang that day but I
remember vividly the kernel of the sermon, which was
anchored on “The Ability of God to Provide
Everything we Lack”, as long as we asked Him in faith
to do so. As we were about to rise for benediction, we
were requested to whole-heartedly pray to God and ask
Him whatever we lacked. It was a great opportunity for
me to converse directly with my God. As if God did
not know me before, I described myself as a poor
suffering fellow without any hope. I prayed for a better
employment and concerning my studies, I asked for
power of concentration and deep knowledge to enable
me achieve my aims in life, particularly academically.
After the silent prayers, we were advised to thank
God for doing what we prayed for. We were, however,
sternly dissuaded from repeating such requests since
they had been granted. I embraced this golden advice
and my faith grew accordingly but on the day of the
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advice, my heart dwelt so much on it that it was full of
nothing but praises of God Almighty.

God Answers My Prayers

When I came back from Church, I was told by

Uncle 'Safe that Uncle Kayode, my former co-journey-
walker of the Yaba-Ikeja-Agege episode, had come
twice to look for me. He was at that time a personal
driver to a retired Commissioner of Police, Mr. Hector
Omooba (later a Chief) . I couldn't fathom the visit
and wondered what it was all about. I waited for some
time but Uncle Kayode did not return. Since it was
time for me to go for my afternoon Shorthand lectures
which I received unfailingly from my brother's friend,
Mr. Ojo Olusoji, I appealed to Uncle 'Safe to re-direct
Uncle Kayode as necessary whenever he came back.
For later doing so, I am very grateful to Uncle Safe
for his kindness.

I Meet Chief Omooba

About two hours later, Uncle 'Safe accompanied

Uncle Kayode to meet me where I was taking my
lessons along Olusoji Street. Uncle Kayode and I then
drove directly to the Government Reservation Area
(GRA), Ikeja, where Chief Omooba lived. Though I
had heard much about the Chief, I had never met him
face to face. Since I wasn't told, I wondered about the
purpose of the whole journey. I then verbalized my
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thoughts and asked uncle Kayode the reason for our
journey to the GRA. It was then he told me that a new
company was being established, which needed a Typist.
My heart beat hard against my ribs on receiving the
information and I wondered if that would, so soon, be
the outcome of my prayer in the Church!
We met Chief Omooba in his sitting room and I
was immediately impressed with his level of politeness
which I least expected of such a highly placed public
figure. Indeed Chief Omooba was a man with a
difference! He spoke our Ekiti dialect so fluently that
it seemed he had never stepped out of Ekiti land and
like an illiterate native that had never encountered any
outside influence! And his mien was gentle and his
voice soft. I was kept completely at ease. We had a
brief discussion during which he affirmed what Uncle
Kayode had told me earlier. I was delighted and I kept
reciting within me, “Thank you God, thank You
God...”
However, the discussion got to a sensitive stage.
While it was true that I was good at typing and
Shorthand but I had no single certificate to prove it.
Worse still, I had no higher certificate than the Primary
School Leaving Certificate (which I was yet to receive).
The only document in my possession was my worn-out
testimonial. However, with the kind assistance of Chief
Omooba, I was finally recruited into Lovell Stewart
Nigeria Limited (LSN) as a Clerk/Typist. My
immediate benefit was that LSN afforded me the
opportunity to be acquainted early in my secretarial
career with a larger dimension of secretarial practice. I
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was exposed to a highly automated office with such
novel equipment as Dictaphones, electric typewriters,
photocopiers, and so on. All these were very useful
learning aids in practical terms and I made the best use
of them.

The Roles Chief Omooba Played in My Life

Chief Omooba gave me knowledge in several areas of life

during my days at LSN. He taught me the banking habit, by
ensuring that I saved some money monthly. This he did by taking
custody of my passbook so I would be thrifty. He taught me
administrative skills, which, up till today, have remained
invaluable to me in the performance of my duties as an
Administrator. He counseled me a lot on self-education and he
taught me many things about life generally, citing examples of his
own difficult past. My first driver's licence was obtained with
relative ease through his help. He took personal interest in my
family life. Apart from marriage counseling which he offered
freely to me, his wife was, and still is at the time of writing this
book, a mother to us all and also a good example of an ideal
woman. She attended my wedding!
The Omobas with their own lives taught me a great lesson in
humility.

I left Lovell Stewart

One year after I joined LSN, I recorded some

significant academic successes. Although I was
promoted in LSN, at a stage, I was convinced that my
remuneration was not commensurate with my
130
qualification. My employers were not moved when I
made a case for further advancement and so, in my
third year with the Company, I decided to explore
greener pastures. I got a job with Jerriman Travel
Agency which was located in Tafawa Balewa Square,
Lagos, where I considered myself well paid.

Roll of Honours

At this point of my life, I had a core group of

individuals who aided and shaped my life, to whom I
remain grateful. First, is a gentleman, Uncle Kayode
Ojo who was my brother's bosom friend. He took me
as a blood relation. As stated earlier, when my brother,
Ajiboye, became jobless in 1975, he had to return to
Iyin. It was to Mr. Ojo I had constant recourse. I
visited him often whenever I came to Exam Success
Correspondence College Office in Palmgrove, which
was near Mr. Ojo's residence. Such visits were mostly
to borrow money from him, but he ensured that I paid
for, obtained receipts and indeed attended all my
lectures. He also ensured that all my scripts were
submitted for marking.
Some others were the wonderful people I met at
LSN. Mr. J.M.C. Levitt (a Briton, beautiful signature I
adapted to mine) was the General Manager (Technical).
He grouchily taught me English grammar whenever I
committed any grammatical blunders. In fact, once, he
was so provoked by my infuriating malapropisms that
he terminated my appointment, but Mr. Omooba was
there to rescue me and have me re-instated almost
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immediately. Counter-balancing Mr. Levitt was Mr.
Adega with his sympathetic words: “Yemi, I
sympathise with all your efforts. I would advise you to
study Practical English Books 1-IV and read more of
African novels to enrich your vocabulary”. He pointed
me in useful directions in my academic struggle.
Another benefactor, Mrs. Anibaba (a West Indian), was
the Personal Secretary to Mr. Levitt. She organized a
speed class to improve my proficiency in Shorthand
and was the one whom God used, as you would read
presently, to minister to my spirit on how to find a
good wife.
I will not forget, of course, Mr. E. Itua, who
assisted me financially and morally, and Sina Alausa
too. There was also the unique woman, Mrs. Mojisola Ogun,
the Company Accountant, who later became my mentor. She
believed that whatever a worker deserved should be given him or
her, irrespective of age. When I was posted to her as a
Shorthand/Typist, she felt that I was worth a Confidential
Secretary. Thereafter, she created an environment conducive for a
competent Personal Secretary. Apart from regular counseling, she
encouraged me to pursue my desired career to a most rewarding
standard.
Her love and support were demonstrably practical. Once in
1979, I had need to undertake a correspondence course for my
GCE Ordinary Level papers at a cost of well over eighty naira
(N80.00). I contemplated a vigil to back up my prayers for a
loan of forty naira (N40.00) from LSN. I wrote the
application, forwarded it through Mrs. Ogun to the General
Manager (Administration), for approval. A few minutes later, I
went to her office to routinely clear her tray and, to my surprise, I
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found the same envelope in it but re-addressed to me. I was
disturbed and thought that she had disapproved of it. But on
opening the envelope, I was shocked to find the cash of
forty naira (N40.00) enclosed. When I asked her if she
had personally loaned me the money, she replied:
“Yemi, if you pass the GCE examinations, the money
is a gift but if you fail, then you are to refund it”.
I thanked her with a promise that I would succeed.
She had already left LSN when I received the GCE
results. Alas, I passed three papers (including English
Language at credit level) of the four subjects I offered.
Immediately, I had headed straight to her house in
Ikeja to inform her of my success. What made a
profound impression on me was neither her profuse
congratulations nor her warmth but rather her
challenging question: “Are you proceeding further with
your studies now? If so, anytime you need my
assistance, do not hesitate to come!”

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 Chapter 19

I Was Hypnotised
And Tempted Tool
I had funny and traumatic relationships and
experiences in my time. I once lived together with two
Hausa men (one a soldier, the other a civilian, both of
whom we simply called Alhajis). They lived together in
one room before ours at No. 5 Salawu Street, Oshodi,
for over two years or so. The soldier was a heavy
smoker of cigarettes, which he indulged in at night
behind our toilet building. Both Alhajis were very
friendly and kindly to everybody.
At the end of the first year, the civilian Alhaji
brought in a wife to live with them, but she did not
conceive. After some time, the Alhaji took another
wife who bore him a baby boy.
When our pit latrine became full, the landlord
decided to dig a new one in the open space between
the fence and the existing toilet. Incidentally it was
located at the spot where the soldier-Alhaji did his
smoking at night. One day, the pit latrine had been
dug to a depth of about eighty feet and was then
overlaid with some roofing sheets. Everyone in the house,
except the soldier, knew about this situation, because he usually
arrived home late in the night between 10 p.m. and 12 midnight,
often drunk. After he made straight for his smoking spot,
suddenly we heard a crashing noise as he apparently stepped
unsuspectingly onto the covering zinc sheets. The resounding echo
of his shouts “Allah, Allah, Allah!!!” as he fell to the bottom of
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the pit woke up everyone in the house. Many of us were
already either asleep or dosing in our rooms. We all
rushed out to the rescue. A long rope used by the
diggers of the pit was located and lowered down the
pit. His military training came handy. He grabbed the
rope and tied it around his waist and under his arms.
This way, he was pulled out of the pit.
He had sustained serious injuries, outwardly and
internally, because blood came out of his mouth
whenever he spat. He was given first-aid treatment but
by the following morning, he could not stand on his
own feet. He had to be taken to a herbal home. For
some time, he got better but about three months after
the incident, he was dead!
But the civilian Alhaji and his first wife remained
in the house. I did errands for them willingly and they
were kind to me too. It was through them that I fell in
love with the meal, Tuwo Shinkarfar, taken with Nuru
soup. It is a very delicious Hausa meal. The wife was
also good at preparing delicious beans. Besides, the
Alhaji used to bring home the best of fresh cow or
ram meat which the wife cooked well. I always had a
great helping of the meat too. Alhaji also generously
gave me money. The two wives were very friendly.
One particular year, the Alhaji informed everyone
he was going on pilgrimage to Mecca and he duly left
with his wives. That was the last we say of them for a
long time, and eventually the Landlord had to let out
their room after storing their few belongings
somewhere else.

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 About two years later, on my way from school one
afternoon, I sighted Alhaji on the other side of Bolade
Bus Stop and hailed him. He was very glad to see me
again and immediately invited me to his new house. I
obliged him and we arrived at a one-storied building in
a street not far away from the point of our recent
meeting. We then climbed upstairs and he opened the
door leading into the sitting room where he welcomed
me.
But it was not a normal sitting room because it
was filled with some very voluminous Arabic Books, a
mat, a huge bowl filled with beach sand, a row of
assorted perfumes and all sorts of other things that
conjured bizarre thoughts within me!
I was indeed shocked but I kept quiet even in the
realization that I was in for some trouble. Alhaji
seemed to discern my uneasiness and tried to allay my
growing fears. He assured me that as a father, he
would only want to help me. He boasted of big names
he had already helped to became rich in life. He
dropped such names as the Abiolas, the Dantatas and a
host of other very prominent people in the society.
Then he requested for some money to buy some
perfumes with which he wanted to do something for
me. At this point, I was no longer myself. I plaintively
informed him that I was in fact looking for my school
fees and that I had little or nothing on me. However, I
searched my pockets and found a little amount which
was just enough to buy the perfumes. Painfully, I gave
it to Alhaji. He opened one of his stock of perfumes
and poured its contents into my palms. He advised me
136
to rub the liquid on my face, hands and body. I did as
he commanded willy nilly.
Next, he took out one of the big Arabic books,
tore off a piece of a plain sheet of paper, folded it and
enclosed it between the pages of the book. He then
asked me to kneel down and pray for whatever I
wanted. I prayed my desires, albeit, in Jesus' name. To
him, the mode and language of the prayer did not
matter.
After my prayers, he opened the book and
brought out the same plain sheet of paper he had
inserted into the Arabic book in my presence. Lo and
behold, the paper replicated everything I had uttered in
my silent prayers in black and white! It was in very
beautiful scripting and in my actual words! Besides, on
the same page metamorphorsed a beautiful talismanic
ring. A detail of the magical facsimile informed me that
all I requested had been granted. The actual requests
were spelt out. I had no problem with that
verisimilitude because I had prayed in Jesus' name.
But these disclosures were shackled with conditions
and claims I must accept in my life thenceforth
following God's favours I had apparently been granted.
It was at this point that the knowledge of the word of
God concerning temptations quickly came to my mind
to rescue me!
The first condition was that I should thereafter
regard Alhaji as my god and that his words would be
binding on me. I would worship his spirit too.
My immediate spiritual reaction was a silent
recitation of the Bible passage in Exodus 20:3 which
137
states: “You shall have no other gods before me”. So I
stood on the ground that the demand of this so-called
spirit negated the will of God in Exodus 20.5, which
says, “You shall not bow yourself down to them nor
serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous
God..”
The next hurdle was the claim of the devil-writer
that he was a spirit in the River Mississipi (USA). My
canceling reaction: the claim ran counter to Exo. 20:4
which says: “You shall not make to yourselves any
graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in the
heavens above, or that is in the earth, or that is in the
water under the earth.”

Condition 3. I was required to provide a ram for a

sacrifice that would be carried out in the night at the
Bar Beach, Lagos.
My reaction: Sacrifices belonged to the Old
Testament times. Jesus Christ has completed every
form of sacrifice we needed to perform with his blood.
In the Book of Jn. 19:30, the Lord Jesus says, “it is
finished!” (MKJV)
Condition 4. The miracle ring that sprung out of the
process would be released to me to wear protectively
always. This requirement was contrary to church
practice where only marital rings were worn. Besides, I
was too visible as a member of the Choir to be seen
suddenly to be wearing a peculiar ring. How would I
explain it to my Pastor and fellow choristers?

138
 As I ruminated, the Alhaji was exhorting me to
take advantage of the 'golden' opportunity, otherwise, I
would risk sudden death.
Poverty Sets Me Free!

For once, my enemy seemed to be in agreement

with me! This is because my escape route lay in the
fact that I had no immediate financial capacity to carry
out other concomitant requirements to fit into Alhaji's
coven of converts, and I told him so. But he urged me
to go to wherever I could raise the money and assured
me that, in no time, I would be able to repay it.
As my self-assurance returned, I took the window
of opportunity that this opened and agreed to go look
for the required money, promising to return later to
accomplish the final initiation!
On my way home, the spirit of God started to
reveal pieces of wisdom to me. First, He referred me
to the book of Mark:8.36 which says, “For what shall it
profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose
his own soul?” (MKJV) Then I recalled another Bible
passage about the fact that it is only “God that blesses
and adds no sorrow to it”.
Then the Spirit reminded me of my past
covenants with God (truly I had some, many of which
were surprisingly also re-echoed in the magic letter!)
and of how God had consistently helped me. Why
should I then suddenly turn against Him? Besides, I
should review the life of the Alhaji himself. If he was
as capable as he then claimed, why was he unable to
have babies from his first wife?
139
 With such resurgent thoughts, I was sure that I did not
need Alhaji's help for what God wanted me to become in life.
But the threat of sudden death, should I fail to go back to
Alhaji, still nagged me! Although I was then not conversant
with Psa. 118:17 which says “I shall not die, but live and
declare the works of the Lord” (MKJV), I resorted to Esther's
courageous and defiant spirit: “if I perish, I perish” (Est. 4:16)
(MKJV). And I never went back to Alhaji, the agent of the
Devil!
In the spirit and aftermath of the foregoing
encounter, I wish to commend Jesus Christ to my
readers who are yet to accept Him as their personal
Lord and saviour to do so because only He can see us
through the temptations of life and lead us to fulfill our
God-ordained destiny. To have a foreknowledge of the
word is to be battle-ready at all times.

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 Chapter 20

The Thought
Of Tomorrow
Education, My First Priority

I became aware of United Christian Secretarial

College's (UCSC) existence through misadventure. I
had paid for an examination of the Institute of
Phonographic Society, London, with my centre at
UCSC. However, on the day of the examination, I
could not trace the college; so I missed the
examination altogether. I had been devastated, and so
became emotionally connected to it. Coincidentally,
the following year, 1980, I saw the college's
advertisement in the “Daily Times” newspaper and
consequently applied for admission. It set the stage for
my successful career development. One may wonder
how I went about it despite the restrictions of my job.

My Jerriman Travels Experience

Because I was the only Confidential Secretary with

Jerriman Travels, Tafawa Balewa Square Lagos, which
I joined on March 1, 1980, I soon realized that it would
be difficult for the Company to grant me any study
leave. Infact, neither the company nor my co-workers
had been aware of the arrangements I made to secure
admission into the college. I merely hoped that all

141
would be well in the end. The only way to overcome
the difficulty was to seek alternative employment.
Even though the human relations aspect of Jerriman
Travel was excellent, the volume of typing work I
coped with was far too much for one person to
discharge effectively. We did not close earlier than
7.30 p.m. daily. In fairness to the small but dynamic
company, it was a progressive organisation that
accepted and implemented good suggestions with the
utmost speed. An example of this outlook was when
my manual typewriter was replaced within one week of
my asking for a new electric one. So too, it accepted
my re-organised administrative procedures within the
month I joined the company. Another noteworthy
example of its dynamism was the speedy
implementation of my request for a supporting Typist.
Indeed, within one and a half months, the company
took full advantage of my administrative skills. In fact,
the Chairman, Mr. L.O. Ukeje (now of blessed
memory), had already discussed with both the
Managing Director, Mr. Jerry Nwosu and myself his
intention to convert me to an Administrative Officer.
But my reaction to this laudable plan was to decline the
offer because I knew it would be a serious obstacle to
my academic plans with its attendant responsibilities. I
was determined to attain the pinnacle of the secretarial
profession, broaden my work experience and make
myself financially strong to be able to pursue my first-
choice career of law (practice) and then other studies.

142
Tribal Considerations

Another niggling consideration that nearly

prevented me from accepting Jerriman's offer was this
widespread allegation of tribal intrigues that might
surface at the level of my proposed involvement. So
also the power-struggle that would continue to mark
every rung of advancement that would depend on the
powerful people one knew. While I did not rule out
those possibilities, I have since seen that it was not
always the rule from my experience while working with
Dr. Uma Eleazu (Igbo), Mr. E.U. Okeke (Igbo), Mr.
Christopher Ikwele (Edo) and Mr. Ene-Obong (Efik),
all of Manufacturers Association of Nigeria, as well as
my pleasant previous experiences with all and sundry in
Jerriman travel (who were predominantly Igbo).
Experience had also established so far in my life that
what mattered in the work-place was one's productive
capacity and competency, not tribe, colour or religion
per se.
So I realized that safety and assurance lay in a new
job. I attended three interviews subsequently. The first
was with the Nigerian National Shipping Line (thanks
to Stella Njimezi). I lost the opportunity of joining
that company as a result of its insistence that I must
produce a separate certificate in Office Practice;
otherwise I should accept the lower job of a Senior
Typist as against the position of Confidential Secretary
(Grade III) for which I applied. To avoid future
disappointments, I later went ahead to write the

143
examination in Office Practice and obtained a
certificate with credit.
The second interview was with Lintas Advertising
Company. Lintas was prepared to pay me well above
my Jerriman's consolidated monthly salary of N300.00
(three hundred naira). But I could not take up the job
because of the company's long working hours of
between 7.30 a.m. and 5.30 p.m. daily. It did not
correlate with my study programme and I foresaw no
likelihood of obtaining any study leave too.

I Joined The Manufacturers Association of

Nigeria

Thirdly, Sunday Olayinka, who was living with me

then, had introduced me to a Mr. Adeaga (both of P &
T), who, in turn, introduced me to one Mr. Tunji
Olajide, the Administrative Manager of the
Manufacturers Association of Nigeria. He subsequently
offered me employment as a Stenographer on a
consolidated salary package of N204 per month, way
below the N300 per month that Jerriman was paying
me. I accepted the offer thoughtfully.
When I told some friends of my decision to accept the
M.A.N's offer, they thought I was a fool. Only one of
them, Makaiva, saw my point of view. In my
consideration, time was of the essence. I would resume
duty at 7.30 a.m. and close at 4.00 p.m. daily, Monday
to Friday. It was an hour better than Jerriman's and
one and half hours better than LINTAS. The

144
advantage could be judiciously deployed for my
studies.
Second, United Christian Secretarial college's
study time began at 1.30 p.m Mondays and 3.00 p.m
(Tuesdays-Fridays). M.A.N., I hoped, might make a
time-allowance for me to start my lessons early. In any
case, notwithstanding its poorer conditions of service,
it portended the fairest opportunity of achieving
academic success, while working full time.

I Gained Admission to United Christian

Secretarial College

I resumed with M.A.N. 1st April,1980 or so.

Within one month, my admission to UCSC came
through, signifying some crisis, because I was still on
probation and to be confirmed after six months of
service. It turned out that M.A.N. had no study scheme
for its staff then. If I had to resign, which I was
prepared to do to achieve my academic ideal, I had no
financial base to weather the storm of inevitable
unemployment while studying. I had only a paltry sum
of eighty naira as savings in the Federal Savings Bank,
Ikeja - an account I had already decided to close down.
My only recourse was, as usual, to God who had never
failed me and had always been my succour. Coupled
with this constant resort is my characteristic style of
satisfying my conscience that I have done all I need to
do on my part at any level.

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I Sought God's Help

I believed, and still do, that if one's conscience was

free, with prayer and determination, one could move
mountains. Many of our projections in life fail
because of lack of strong desire and faith in God and
in ourselves. You must dare success and work hard to
succeed in life. I had prayed personally and took the
matter to a vigil of brethren where the children of God
added their own fervent supplication. The result was
miraculous! The Monday after the night prayer
meeting, I went to see Mr. Tunji Olajide, my
Administrative Manager, in humility and meekness yet
confidently, to discuss my problem. I began by
expressing my deep appreciation for his past assistance
generally and apologized for bothering him about a
favour that I knew would be difficult for him to help
me secure, considering my newness in the company.
But I told him that I knew that God might use him to
uplift me and that, if that happened, I would forever be
grateful to him.
As I presented my case before him, I could observe his
attentiveness and reflection as to what I was leading up
to and whether it was in his power to do. Everybody
knew Mr. Olajide to be very strict and prudent.
Like a salesman willing his customer to buy his
goods, I concluded my pleading by presenting to him
the original letter of my admission into UCSC for a
one-year course. While he scrutinized it, I put in his
hands the N50 (fifty naira) receipt of the deposit I had

146
been required to pay to signify my willingness to attend
the course.

The Great Dialogue

After examining the papers, Mr. Olajide looked at

my face thoughtfully and, for about three minutes, he
did not say a word. At last he said, “You know this
yourself, that you are still new in the company. You
also realize that you are yet to be confirmed. We could
have talked freely if that had been done. Besides, we
do not have schemes for programmes like this, yet…”.
He was silent. “I find it difficult to recommend your
request to the Executive Director for approval,” he
concluded.
While he spoke I quickly recited my petition at the
vigil and wondered whether, for once, God would not
grant my prayer. I re-assured myself with the
knowledge of His constancy and past dealings with me.
Then I said “Sir, I realize your position and would say
the same thing myself if I were in your shoes but…” I
paused, then continued, “Since I am highly determined,
I bank on God's ability to effect this seemingly
impossible task through your goodself and I …” I
stammered as I searched for the appropriate words to
express myself.
He finally cut in, “Leave your file with me
together with the letter and I'll see what I can do about
it”.

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I Obtained Study Leave

When I went back to Mr. Olajide's office 20

minutes later to clear his tray, my file was no longer
there! That sent me into a turmoil as to what he had
written to the Executive Director and what the reply
might be. But I had no reason to doubt God who was
in charge, as always.
The course was to begin almost immediately. The
file came back to Mr. Olajide and the Executive
Director's reaction was positive and with no strings
attached! I remain very grateful to Mr. Olajide and
Dr. Eleazu for the wonderful ways God had used them
to uplift me. Their support was invaluable during my
course. May God continue to bless them in all their
endeavours. (Amen.)

I Started Part-Time Schooling

My days in the UCS College improved my career

indeed. That was not all. My one academic year there
witnessed a lot of zeal in Students Union activities. Yet
when I got to the College, there was no Students
Union Movement. I had been surprised because the
benefits derivable from positive students unionism in a
college cannot be gainsaid. Apart from being a forum,
in the broadest sense of it, by which to foster a
domestic community, purposefully unionized students
made a better and more focused school. An organized
union of students also is an enduring and active link
between the old and the new students. I believed
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therefore that United Christian required such a body to
enhance its status of being the first Secretarial College
(of a Mono-technic nature) established since 1964.
United Christian, unlike other newly established
secretarial schools, was a well-equipped and well-
staffed college. The teachers were very competent,
experienced and dedicated to their duties. They
ensured discipline and orderliness, and it has become
the alma mater for many highly placed personnel in the
Nigerian labour market.

I Became a Unionist

I was among those determined to establish an

active students union, no matter how short my stay
would be in the college. I consulted with my fellow
students, the majority of whom, particularly the men
and some enthusiastic ladies, agreed to its formation.
My next step was to organise all the class monitors into
a committee, which we called the “Organising
Committee”, for which I was appointed the Chairman.

I Was Elected President

After several meetings and approaches, we

succeeded in getting the school management to
support and approve it. We individually conducted
awareness campaigns in our various classes to sensitize
students about the objectives of the Union.
Finally on 6th March, 1981, at 3.30p.m, a full-
fledged union called “United Christian Secretarial
149
College Students Association” was born. As the
Chairman of the Organising Committee, I delivered a
speech on the occasion, after which I was formally
elected the President of the new Association. I quickly
swung into action; with my cabinet, we drew up a
constitution and functioned faithfully according to its
enshrined objectives.

Our Successes, Our Failures

During my tenure, the teachers were regular in

classes, the students were very conscious of their rights
while the college authorities were strictly alive to their
responsibilities. We waged a campaign against the
lukewarm attitudes of students to studies and fought
for their welfare. We established a news forum (in the form of
weekly circulars and monthly general briefings) through which
students were kept aware of developments. We ran relevant
articles on how to succeed in the Secretarial Profession and in
other professions too. Our active unionism helped the school
authority to secure the recognition granted its Diplomas by the
then Lagos State Government (letter ref. NO.
LED/EDA/64/S.90/108 of 14th January, 1983 and
circular LED/EDA/64/90/114 of 4th January, 1983).
We were judicious in our spendings to the benefit of all and
transparent with a comprehensive report of all our activities,
including financial management which we presented to both the
School's Authority and to the succeeding UNICSA Executive
Committee after our tenure. We had a rousing end-of-the-
year party, which was attended by our Principal, Mrs.
Sanusi, the Head of Secretarial Department, Mr. S.A.
150
Bakare, as well as all the school's teachers and students.
We were able to present the college with a souvenir
worth N400, in form of a public address equipment
comprising a Kenwood Amplifier, two giant speakers,
a microphone, etcetera. We had also organized a
fashion parade. Above all, our final results (internal
and external Pitman/RSA) witnessed remarkable
improvement over the previous years.
Our failures were a product of time-constraint.
These included inability to conclude arrangements to
open a bank account and settle our printer's bills in full
for the publication of our constitution. Our
successors, the 1981/82 session executive, did it. We
had been handicapped by the low sales of the
constitution as the session was moving to an end.
Despite being the inaugural Student Union with the
normal slowness to establish norms, we were able to
achieve within nine months what older organisations
could not do in the same period. One Mr. Wilson Udu
succeeded me as President.

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 Chapter 21

A Narrow Escape
From Death!
Hazards exist everywhere, including work-places,
even types with which danger would normally not be
associated. That's how circumstances of the seemingly
safest undertakings could lead to or inhere dangerous
occurrences or possibilities. That was the sort of fate
I almost suffered one day after I had been at sixes and
sevens in the office as to how to dovetail my work on
the day to accommodate my study programme. I was
saddled with a typing load I must finish before I caught
the 1.30 p.m. boat-ride from Marina to the Apapa-end
so I could get to my school in time for an important
afternoon test.
The time was 1.05 p.m. when I peeped through my tweltfh-
Floor, Unity House, Marina office-window at the Ferry
Terminal where the boat still lay at anchor. I had completed the
typing on stencils and I was just about to roll them out on the
stenciling machine. Since the central air-conditioners in my office
were as usual, not functioning, I opened the window for some
fresh air. Along the way, I had thoughtlessly placed the stencils
on the window ledge. Whereupon the usual Marina breeze
gushed in and, before I knew it, all the stencils were already
flying like kites out of the window, in all directions, down
towards the nearby buildings and adjoining streets. I was
appalled by the sudden turn of events.
The stencil s were seven vital pages of classified
information that brooked no leakage! It was the
customary yearly pre-budget Memorandum that
M.A.N. sent to the Federal Government. Like a
headless chicken, I flounced about down and up the
stairs, unfocussed about how to retrieve the flying
stencils from my 12th floor position! In that state of
frenzy, I still peeped through a window to ascertain
that the Apapa boat had not set sail. Then I rushed

152
back to my office, picked up the original
Memorandum and began re-typing… After five
minutes, I noticed that time was already 25 minutes
past one! Finally, I called my colleague, Mr.
Fagbenro, to whom I explained my situation and
he willingly consented to help. I sneaked out of
the office and raced down the stair case toward the
ground floor, not trusting or waiting for the lift. I
was determined to catch the 1.30 p.m. ferry or else I
would be delayed for another two hours and then
miss the test!
I ran as if on wings across the Marina to the
ferry gate as the boat began to drift off. With my face
virtually distorted with anxiety, the cashier quickly
issued me a ticket and I rushed out onto the
Lagoon deck. I waved frantically to the Captain who
sighted me and kindly reduced throttle to enable me
jump into the boat across a strip of water!
Which Ferry? The one I landed in was the smaller
Marina-Maroko boat; the Apapa ferry had broken
down. Since it was the only boat on the two routes, the
Captain decided to make it a Marina-Apapa-Maroko
trip, thereby lifting the combined commuters at the
same time. The result was over loading and the
boat was already listing! As we sailed, you could see
anxiety in all faces because most of us knew the boat
was dangerously overloaded. In no time, the seawater
was already overlapping into the boat and it began to
sink slowly with the flooding. Many people had
already removed their shoes; some, particularly the
women, were crying; the majority however were busy
bailing the water out.
I remained calm, although I thought that the end
had come for me. About the middle of the lagoon,
somebody screamed “Omiyalee” (the word, which was
in current usage, developed from the Ogunpa flood
disaster which claimed very many lives in Ibadan a
few months earlier.) It was an awkward attempt to
relieve tension but it turned out to be an expensive
joke not funny in the circumstance, to draw laughter
from the surrounding, agonized faces.

153
 I looked steadily at the Captain's face, it gave no
sign of hopelessness. So I decided quietly to
rehearse the procedural use of the life-jacket as in an
emergency. Even though I could not swim, yet I
moved closer to the device so that I could grab the
nearest one. I imagined myself wearing one and
floating in the lagoon, flagging or flapping for
rescue!
To compound our dangerous situation, a big ship
was sailing in our path from the Apapa-end of the
Dockyard towards the terminal. As we were navigating
the same course, there was a possibility of collision.
In that eventuality, our boat would be in danger. As
it were, we were between the devil and the dee p
blue sea!
At the critical moment, however, the ship
slowed down for us to pass and in another
harrowing minute, we landed safely at the Apapa
quay!
I Left M.A.N.
In 1984, I left M.A.N. To join Ogilvy Benson ,
an adverting company located in Yaba. I worked
directly for the Executive Director Adminstration
(Ms Tola Olujobi). I did only one month at Ogilvy
Benson before I joined another company, a
multinational company, about which I cannot give
further details here because I have the principle of
not dwelling extensively on current occupations.
This stand stems from the fact that one is never
able to give a complete picture (which I am more
interested in) of a current situation that is not
concluded. So I prefer to write about companies
or people or places I have ceased to have dealings
with. In that way, I am able to give a fair and
complete account of my relationship with such
organisations and people. Unfortunately, some of
my friends will be disappointed here and I do most
sincerely apologise for this shortcoming. The
subsequent revisions of this book will give a

154
comprehensive and complete picture. Again,
although this book would have been richer in
content and wisdom, I think what I have narrated
so far is enough for those who will make it in life if
they learn to apply what we've already said and will still
say here after.

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 Chapter 22

My Marriage
My Visions of Marriage

As with all other aspects of my life, my marriage - from

courtship, which lasted a total of seven years, to the wedding -
was the product and execution of a clear vision. Let us
therefore take a journey to my marital life. This again
is in keeping with my promise somewhere in the early
part of this book to reel out, ample life-changing
information that would make my readers' lives better
than they were when they began to read this book.
Let me begin by saying that I had a clear mental picture of
the kind of marriage I desired. I was long aware that marriage is
a very serious affair. I knew that it went with responsibilities
and that a failed marriage would invariably destroy an otherwise
organized life beyond redemption. I was close to God Almighty
during my youth, and recognized that the greatest danger a young
man faced was pre-marital sex, which was a potent snare for the
unwary youth. It came as a ready weapon in the hands of
desperate girls intent on nailing down their careless preys. So I
abstained from it because I did not want to become a father by
accident. Besides, I had been well taught biblically that abortion
which might result from unlawful sex is a serious sin and bad.
The consequences are bad all round for the young father that
might have impregnated the girl, the girl herself (for that child
might have been the only and best child destined for her), the
innocent child life is terminated, the society as a whole which may

156
have just lost a member that would have advanced its cause and,
above all, it is a sinful blight before God.
I had grown to recognize the difference between
love and sheer emotion or infatuation. I also knew
that love isn't blind, rather it is people who make or
construe it to be blind. I knew where to find these
facts of life. The word of God is rich and all-
encompassing and I was careful to align my feelings
with what the Bible says. I enriched my understanding
with the teachings of my Church and added my
common sense.
In reality, I had the wisdom of the practical case-
studies of the lives of my parents, my siblings, my
uncles, nieces and my friends. I read a lot of books on
marriage issues and discussed marriage openly.
After a seven-year research of the subject, I saw that its
success rested on compatibility. For my marriage to
work therefore, I had to find somebody on all-fours
with me on the fundamentals of life: equable mental
faculty, educational background, ambitious, visionary,
good temperament, objective, open-minded, humble,
hard working, patient, persistent, reliable, and so on. I
cast my net wide in the search for my type-cast partner.
I was interested in marrying a Christian by practice, not
a Church-goer. I disregarded the geographical barrier.
The girl I was looking for was to be my alter ego! If I
found one, I believed I would be at peace with myself,
my immediate and my extended families, my culture,
my town, my religion and other variables of life. If I
was not careful, any hasty decision would ruin the
beacons of my academic and religious pursuits. I
157
wanted a girl who would understand me and take me
for what I was. I wanted a truthful girl, not a selfish
gold-digger. I wanted a girl with whom to share my
innermost feelings without any foreboding of betrayal!
Above all, I wanted a godly woman who saw and
took life any way it turned out and who forged ahead
honestly, regardless of fruitless and un-ending
argumentation and disruptive nagging. Also, I wanted
a girl who chose good company and was not overly
fixated on her so-called bodily beauty. Yes, I have eyes
for both physical and character beauties, which are rare
and very difficult to find in a girl.
To be able to do all these, I had resolved that I
must stay with God, acquire a sound educational
background and be holding down a good job before
looking for the girl of my dream.

Confessions About My Pre-Marital Life

The issue of pre-marital relationship has been a

topical one and will continue to be so through eternity.
One of the greatest challenges facing man is how to hold his body.
The sexual drive in man is so strong that an average man is
crazy about sex (and will continue to be) whether married or
single. Regardless, the truth about sex is that it is easy to
sermonize about on the pulpit and blame people who fall into its
trap for being abnormal. The reality is that the sexual drive in
man is about the greatest temptation a man faces. Maybe the
next temptation after sex is the craze for money,
followed by power. In such a situation, man is then
faced with temptation all his life. He generally has an
158
insatiable pressure for sex and that pressure virtually
drives him mad! No man, except perhaps, one with a
dysfunctional sexual organ, is exempted.

Now let us examine the life of this writer.

The question is: was I like an angel as far as pre-

marital relationships were concerned?
No. Not at all. I had conceptual indulgencies of
sex like any developing youth. I was not close to the
celestial bodies at all! So I was in no way superior to
other people: I got to the bends and crossroads like
any other person.
But my general outlook, shyness, the constant
drumming of the word of God around me, my strong-
cum- what people called my humble disposition and,
above all, the special grace of God saw me through
temptations that fostered pre-marital indulgences.
As I already hinted, sweet as this might sound, I
must admit still that there was no way I could have
passed the test of our Lord Jesus Christ in Matt. 5:28
which states,
“But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to
lust after her has already committed adultery with her
in his heart”

Surely, I must confess, I did that in excess!

Secondly, I was a regularly willing and relishing
messenger sent to girls by randy seniors. So I had
opportunities to do like those who sent me on such
errands.
159
 Thirdly, I was lured and encouraged to try
fornicating by peer warnings that I could die pre-
maturely if I did not do it. It was also said that boys
who did not have sex were more susceptible to
stomach problems. Actually, I had stomach problems
but I did not die.

Fourthly, I witnessed my friends doing whatever they

liked with girls and I was sometimes invited to join the
indulgent club. I felt like doing it but the gnawing
knowledge of the Word of God and the full awareness
of the consequences inhibited any lustful cravings that
burned in me! So even when I had clear opportunities
to do it, I could not, because fear paralysed me.

Lastly, the only option which appeared to me to be the

only available means of holding my body together, to
my shock, was considered 'unclean' by the Holy Bible:

“…When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh,

because of his issue he is unclean” Lev. 15:2b (KJV)

.”…And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him,

he shall wash all his flesh in water and be unclean until
the even.” Lev. 15:16 (KJV)

This happened to me times several times such that

I was always wet. Again, this meant that as many times
as I experienced running issues, that I was biblically unclean but,
thank God, the Bible did not say I sinned for there is a clear difference
between being unclean and sinfulness!

160
 Based on my experience, unless a man wants to
deceive himself that he can remain pure above the age
of 25 years or so, I think my postulation in my book
“This Thing Called Marriage” that a man should get
married at 25 years of age or at the worst at 30 years is
well founded. Failure to set a time-table for marriage
can lead a man to frustrations and can affect his
spiritual life adversely!

I suffered Physical and Psychological Defeat!

The worst of it all was that I felt guilty, uncivilized,

inferior,

psychologically depressed and deprived at that time. It

was a most harrowing and tempting period of my life.

So where did my righteousness lie on this issue?

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 Chapter 23

Time Up
for Marriage
As the Bible says, there is a time and a season for
everything. So it was that my time to look for a wife
was due. I did not embark on it, however, quite
willingly. My mother had been asking me grating questions.
She wanted to nurse my children and she felt I was old enough to
marry. She sang it aloud and in the secret. I heard her praying
loudly about it. Her carryings-on did not hasten me unduly
though. Whatever she felt about my maturity did not help what
I could do at my age. Preparedness to shoulder additional
responsibilities was more important to me. While mother and I
agreed that marrying was desirable, we disagreed on its timing.

External Influence

My attitude to marriage was largely conditioned by a

piece of advice that a colleague of mine had been
given by my Supervisor, one Mrs. Yvonne Anibaba, a
West Indian, married to a Nigerian.
My colleague had desperately sought a wife by all means
and even tried to hook a particular girl-friend through
impregnation. It didn't work; so he came to our office to narrate
his experiences to Mrs. Anibaba, whose advice he sought. Mrs.
Anibaba's response was, “… (you seem to be too
desperate about marriage. This can lead you to
wrong judgment. If you approach grown up girls
without success, then try the unborn!”.
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 I rather took Mrs. Anibaba's advice personally and
was for ever sold on the need to plan well ahead for
marriage and not to limit myself only to the mature
girls but also to the younger and pliant ones. In fact, at
the time, I had met some grown-up girls but who were
unsatisfactory.
I considered the positive and negative sides of
courting a young girl. We would grow into our chosen
way of life together and I would be part of those who
would mould her life. I would be able to study her
nature, acquaint myself with her family background,
her vision and all that can be expected of a serious girl.
I would be able to sound her out on fundamental
issues I had earlier enumerated. It was also a given
expectation that since I would be older than her, there
would be a natural flow of respect from her to me.
On the other hand, dating a young girl could be a
long drawn-out affair in which I might have to wait
until she completed her education. She might change
her mind along the way or her parents might have a
different agenda for her. In either situation, I might be
forced to begin a new search or contribute
inconveniently to her up-bringing.
Yet, I decided in favour of courting the young and
gave myself five years to find the woman of my choice.
The five-year period was to enable me court aright,
whoever came along the way. I was prepared to court
one girl at a time but would not waste too much time
terminating unpromising relationships.

163
Where Would I Marry From?

Where to marry from was a knotty question I had

to resolve. As a Christian, of the Christ Apostolic
mould, we knew we should not be unequally yoked
with anybody outside Christianity. In fact, such a
liaison would not receive the Pastor's blessing. That
message was clear in the Biblical authority of 2 Cor.
6:15, “And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or
what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?”.
So we were taught thoroughly how to avoid
marriage with any other faith, whether animist or
whatever.
So my search began among the CAC fold: in my
Church, especially amongst the Choir, but none met
my criteria, as the few girls there were either too young,
illiterate, crude or uncouth. Then I tried girls from
other denominations. The first attraction was a girl
from Edo State. She was beautiful, good-mannered
and of the Catholic faith. She was also studious but I
elicited that she was tendentiously materialistic in
nature and our focus appeared not to be identical. She
was ready to marry immediately but I had doubt that
we were operating in the same frequency. So I bowed
out.
The next girl was also beautiful from either Edo or
Delta State. It took me two years to woo her. What
attracted me to her was her strong resemblance to my
maternal eldest sister, Florence Fehintola Ibitoye. We
attended the same Secretarial School together and at
the end of two years, I was able to secure an
164
employment for her. After this, her personality
changed and she became very demanding - wanting
everything to be done posthaste. I did not like a hectic
life, so I bowed out of the race again.

How I Met My Wife

As it were, I was third-time lucky. I had two very

close friends: Mackaiva and Benedict. We also had a
fourth friend, Iyabo (now Mrs. Abe). The three of us,
who were male, organized extra-mural classes to assist
some schoolmates who needed help. We did it at no
cost to the students. As would be expected, girls were
pre-dominant in the arrangement and among them
were Stella, Justina, Iyabo and Victoria with only one
boy, Asimiyu. We taught them secretarial subjects to
our utmost level. Mackaiva handled the Shorthand
speed class while I handled the theoretical aspects of
Shorthand as well as Office Practice, Secretarial Duties
and English Language. Benedict taught Principles of
Accounts.
One day after our teachings, I went to visit Benedict
but he was not at home. However, I met a ravishing
and petite lady. Her focus on her studies impressed me
very much. She was Benedict's private student and
not part of our general arrangement. She was so
riveted on the book she was reading that she could not
hear my loud knocking at the door until the third
racket I made forced her to finally look up. She had
been buried in the pages of her Economics text-book
and I had observed her awhile before I started
165
knocking on the door. She impressed me indeed.
After our mutual greetings, she informed me that she
too was waiting for Benedict. That was my first
encounter with the girl who was (destined) to be my
wife.
Afterwards, when I met Benedict, he told me she
was Munirat (later changed to Mary after our
marriage), a younger sister to Iyabo who was both our
friend and Shorthand student. My initial interest was
to get her to join the students we were assisting. We
did, and during her studentship, I confirmed her
sterling qualities. But, frankly, it never occurred to me
to consider her as a prospective wife because she
appeared too small to be toasted!
However, I had become very close to Mary's family
through her elder sister, Iyabo (Mrs. Abe), that I had a
clear idea of their type of family. It was this reality,
coupled with the 'toast-the-unborn' theory of Mrs.
Anibaba, that raised my consciousness to considering
Mary in amorous terms.
As I never dated two girls at the same time, I had
to call off my subsisting relationship with my grown-up
girl at the time. Then I went ahead to bare my
honourable intentions to Mary. That was the point at
which our courtship began - some three decades ago
from the time of writing this book (2005).
Although she later changed her name to Mary to
reflect her (new) Christian faith, she was born into a
Muslim family and, by rote, worshipped God in
accordance with her parents' religious practice. Her
original and Muslim name was actually Munirat. She
166
belonged to the Muslim Students Union set-up and
was very regular at the mosque to worship Allah.

Mary's Characteristics

Mary is by all means (stature, height, face,

complexion and as I later got to know, character) a
duplication of her mother! On one occasion, because
of their sameness in everything, thinking it was my
Mary standing by the well in the frontage of their
house, I had beckoned at her but because of the non-
sensitivity to my gestures that drew me to closer
examination of my object, it dawned on me that I was
beckoning a bigger fish than my net could contain -
Mary's mother!
On the outside, her beauty, especially her face, always brightened
my day. I admired (and still do), her sportlike (or call it bow)-
legs. Her smile which exposes her well set milky teeth sparkled
(and will for as long as we live continue to sparkle me up!).
On the critical issue of who she truly was, Mary's disposition
revealed her as a very humble girl. During our various
extensive discussions, I found out that she cared for all,
notwithstanding the extended nature of the family or
its texture. I saw in her the spirit of unity, somebody
who would care for all strata of the family, one who
was ready to build rather than destroy.
Even though she was then a Muslim, I saw the
humble nature of Jesus Christ in her. She was not rigid
about religion. She later on confessed that she
preferred Christianity, to which her heart was attuned
but she had a dilemma, having been raised from
167
Muslim background to convert to the former. She
feared that she might face opposition from her parents.

Her Conversion Dilemma and our Debate

But this was the genesis of Mary's dilemma - that

her loving parents might resist her switching over to
Christianity, plus the strong fact that in the Muslim
Students Society, where she was very active, the Imam
emphatically forbade Muslim girls from marrying
Christian boys in order not to go to hell fire. And
Mary did not want to go to hell-fire!
We had to resolve this religious hindrance or
obstacle between us. After praying together for God's
assistance, we examined our two religions - both of
which preached love, peace and salvation. Their
fundamental differences concerned the right path to
salvation and the unique foundations of the two
religions. Since she was mature, I urged Mary to read
between the lines herself before making up her mind. I
also urged her to pray for God's guidance in making
the right choice. We agreed to fast and pray in the
interim and let the matter rest for some time.
Indeed we met again and advanced our discussion.
As God's time was always the best, we agreed there
was sufficient reason to work on our relationship in
order to become one flesh.

168
Our Initial Fears

The question of whether my prospective father-in-

law would oppose our union agitated our minds greatly
for the visible and solid facts we faced. My father-in-
law's first-born daughter, Aminat or Iyabo (Mrs. Abe)
had got married to a Christian. Her husband, like me,
was an Ekiti-man: I, from Iyin-Ekiti and Mr. Abe from
Ode-Ekiti, and, most importantly, Mary (then Munirat)
had been the most devoted Muslim amongst my
Father-in-Law's children at that time. I just could not
contemplate his reaction and disappointment at losing
her again to the rival faith.

We Dread Marrying the Ijebus or Egbas!

On my own side, after I had had a fair idea of who

I was courting, I had to play down the Ekitis' known
reluctance to marry from amongst the Ijebu and the
Egba whom they thought were fetish and did not value
marriage, judging by the failed marriages in which they
had been involved or conjoined.
However, in our blossoming relationship, I found
Mary to be highly objective as she weighed the merits
and demerits of all issues before taking any decision.
These observations I duly conveyed to my parents and
siblings for their digestion. There were mixed and
cautious reactions. My mum had been very objective
on her part. I recall some of her words thus: “Even
though we are afraid of the Ijebus' and the Egbas when
it comes to marriage, I know you would have given a
169
deep thought to these fears before you decided to
marry from their midst. Besides, you must have
studied the girl concerned and her household very well
before venturing into that family. Whatever is the case,
I know that my Lord will not allow you to make a
mistake maritally”.
To back up her position, my mother requested for
Mary's name and she took it to her Church and other
Churches for prayers. She reported back that ours was
going to be a good relationship. She told me the do's
and the don'ts of my Mary and I marveled at the depth
of her very clear message. She predicted that Mary
would be a very nice and dependable woman in
marriage but one who would not tolerate certain things
at all. When I asked to know what she would abhor,
Mum said the revelations were for my ears only. That's
why I cannot reveal them here. Suffice it to say that
parents can be very useful indeed and I am guided in
the way I relate with Mary by those revelations. It has
been the reason why I deal with her as transparently as
is humanly possible.
Even though I was not residing in my biological
father's house at the time but I sought his opinion. His
reaction was that he had enough goodwill to ask for
any girl of his family-choice from any other family in
Iyin and that he was confident that he would not be
denied that obligation. However, although he was
afraid that I intended to marry far away from Iyin, he
respected my choice, and, as he believed that, the girl
must be good, he prayed that the Lord would back me
up.
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 In the light of the comments and observations of
my nuclear and extended families, I cleared their
doubts about inter-clan marriage and the Muslim-
Christian dichotomy; whereupon, they gave me their
blessings to marry Mary.

Mary's Educational Worries

After completing her secondary school education,

she had fruitlessly sought admission into tertiary
institutions for three years. She wanted to read
Accountancy at the Lagos State Polytechnic but the
only admission she got was to read Insurance. She did
not like it and would not accept it. Meanwhile she had
started working as a Typist with the same Polytechnic.
That was the stage our relationship thickened.

Is She Ready for Me?

At a stage, I was ready to marry but I didn't think

Mary was prepared for that. Should I call it quits? I
asked myself.
Finally I had to table my intentions before her.
Did she fancy me as a future husband then? I thank
God I did put the question to her. I did so one
evening when I told her that I truly loved her and that
I had reached a make-or-break point in my desire to
marry. After analyzing the situation, we agreed that it
would be unreasonable to expect me to wait for some
three or four more years for her to complete a
polytechnic or university education. We therefore
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arrived at a compromise: we could get married but her
academic advancement could still be undertaken in the
marriage later. I promised to support her when the
time came.

Will Mary's Parents Agree?

We had one more battle to win: to convince her

parents about the soundness or reasonableness of our
plans. We agreed that the battle was hers to win. She
did and their response was favourable. I was surprised,
because the ease with which we got their consent did
not bear out the initial weight of our fears. The victory
was a pointer to the fact that God was at work in the
relationship.

A False Prophesy

On or about three years before our Marriage, I

had a dream. In that dream I saw myself before a
prophet. The prophet wore a white garment, and a
white cap similar to those worn by the Alhajis. His
height was about 1.3metres, dark in complexion with
slightly protruding eyeballs. In the dream, he revealed
to me my past, from birth till the very day I visited
him, which surprisingly, tallied with what it was. He
spoke about my future, most of which tallied with the
prophesies foretold my mother by a Prophet (whom I
did not see myself) about me as far back as 1965,
which mother and I had believed. However, he moved
straight to the issue of my impending marriage. He
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spoke at length about my would-be partner's qualities.
But at at the end of his prophesy,he said something
about her I disagreed with strongly which I forgot
when I woke up.

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 Chapter 24

Our Wedding
I Meet The False Prophet!

In real life, I was not given to visiting prophets or

seers for whatever reasons. I consider those who do,
confused people who risked being infused with the
spirit of fear by which they subsequently become
subservient to the false prophets who take control of
their lives.
I had so much faith in God that I did not and still
do not believe that I must consult anybody by way of
what amounts to divination. I am also aware of the
Bible passage which encourages every Christian to 'test
out' so-called prophesies before accepting them.
However, by fate, I was brought face-to-face with
the prophet I dreamt of three years earlier! At the
time, 1982, I had bought a brand new Volkswagen
Beetle Car with registration No. LA 3008 SF. I was no
longer mobile, and was anxious to know everywhere. I
had visited places I fancied and in company of my
brother, Ajiboye, had visited virtually all parts of
Ekitiland. On one such adventure, the Abes and I
visited Olumo Rock in Abeokuta which is the Abes'
home. Mrs. Abe was to be our guide and we fixed a
particular Saturday to do so, in the company of one of
their neighbours.

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 After first touring the township, we went to the
Olumo Rock. What fascinated me was that Abeokuta
was comparatively big, with a beautiful landscape that
looked more like Ekitiland in its rockiness! Then, one
of us wanted to visit someone and I gladly drove us to
the place. It was a one-storey building but the man we
visited lived downstairs. Behold, he was a prophet
dressed in a white robe with a white cap on his head
and about 1.3 metres tall! He welcomed us in the
midst of other people that were already there. The
man that followed us was the first to kneel down
before the prophet. He enquired as to whether
someone (a contractor) had been paid money for the
job he did! I was surprised by and displeased greatly
with this attitude. I became uncomfortable. The
prophet confirmed that the money had been paid but
postulated what would follow after that. He then
stated other conditions that would make the man
return to him.
The next persons that sought the prayers were my
own people! They too got their own portions of
revelations and conditions. But it was obvious to
everybody around that I was not impressed at all by the
seeming chicanery. However, to save the growing
embarrassment, I was persuaded to join the on-going
prayers too. I knelt down and it went on for a while.
After what seemed to me a pantomime, the revelations
began to come. My story from birth to date was
retold. My supposed future was revealed. All the
revelations tallied, of course, with all the previous ones
I narrated earlier. BUT he added that the original
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profession that God had ordained for me was
soldiering and that if I had joined the military, I would
have risen very high and received an anointing for
power and authority!
I had no problem with that for, by my nature, I
always work with military dispatch and precision once I
am convinced of what I am doing! He moved gain to
the issue of my would-be partner. He said she was
pretty, of a good character and she would turn out to
be a very good wife. Although she would bear me
children, she, being an “emere” or “ogbanje” (familiar
spirit), would surely die after her third child! I then
reacted spontaneously by declaring that my Jesus
whom I serve did not promise me such a fate, which
declaration the prophet's quick concurrence settled!
Seemingly alarmed, Iyabo (my sister-in-law-to-be)
asked him what to do to avert the looming calamity.
The man promptly reeled out a list of items - a cock,
black soap, etcetera - everything amounting to N120.00
then for an atoning sacrifice!
But I was very much aware of what the Bible says
about false prophets who tell you things that will create
fear in you and so bind you unbilically to them! So I
was decided not to do or follow his prescriptions.

God Reminded Me of My Previous Dream!

I confess that while the visit lasted, I did not

remember the dream I had three years or so before. It
never crossed my mind at all. But as we journeyed back
to Lagos, precisely in the front of the Aro Psychiatric
176
Hospital gate in Abeokuta, I suddenly recollected. I
marvelled at the preciseness of my dream: how I had
also accepted all what the prophet had pronounced
until he said something contrary about my would-be
wife which had forced my awakening then! So it was
again, and a voice within me then recalled, “that is
what I showed you years ago”. That finally severed
any further connection with the quack prophet.

We Got Wedded

As earlier foregrounded, having involved them

extensively during the long period of courtship, my
parents' consent for our marriage was a rubber-stamp
and Mary and I forthwith proceeded with our
traditional wedding!
As I have exhausted the car loan with which I
performed my traditional wedding, I had to defer any
other method of marriage-Church or Registry till a later
date. The opportunity for the latter only came up
towards the tail end of year 2005! That was another
set-back caused majorly by poverty but thank God for
‘reversing the irreversible’ concerning my marriage!

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 Chapter 25

Building Our Home

Unhealthy Beliefs and Tendencies and

How We Resolved Them

Alleluyah that, at last, the right woman seemed to

have arrived for me. But we were still young in this
relationship called 'marriage'. However, I have always
held the view that no matter how compatible a couple
might seem, for their union to succeed, they must put
in a deliberate effort and preparedness to build a happy
home. Their ability to FUSE together will determine
the extent of their success.
Prayers are a good, preparatory ground but
practical steps are needed to wade through
concomitant challenges that litter the path of the
voyage of life. Our house was not going to be an
exception to such experience. Indeed, we started on a
very shaky ground. I had thought, mistakenly too, that
I had fully and completely understood the nature of my
wife in our seven-year pre-marital engagement. I was
completely wrong!
Some fundamental issues capable of tearing our
marriage apart soon reared their heads. Let me explain
them, seriatim, and how we dealt with them.

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Unhealthy Beliefs and Tendencies

Soon in our marriage, I gradually discovered

through her utterances that Mary was full of so-called
old wives' tales, in which delusion she anchored a lot of
her outlook of life.
First, she believed very much that a woman could
do without a man. Second, she believed in the
necessity to acquire much personal wealth to be able to
stand on her own if the need arose. Third, she did not
like what she called 'the partiality of God' which gave
man total authority and control over the home to the
disadvantage of the woman who was seemingly left
with a minority voice. Left to her, a woman should be
able to impose her will like the man does in the home.
Besides, she as a working class woman, should also not
shoulder alone the home management. Alternately, the
man should do the cooking, wash the dishes and dress
the babies while the woman relaxed any way she chose
to in contented relief.
As these reflective attitudes unfolded, I knew it
was time to re-engage her as my student for a long-
term training session of re-orientation to reshape or
delete the wrong notions or personal philosophy,
which she had developed over time. I was not
interested in the source of her mis-beliefs but in being
her agent of change. My concern was that, if not
tackled resolutely, her considerations would reduce her
perception of the marriage institution from being
sacred. When a woman validates such an approach to
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life, she will most likely become materialistic, arrogant
and end up as a divorcee.
That scenario was not and is not my understanding of
marriage. To me marriage is sacred. Marriage is a “till-
death-do-us-part” partnership. A responsible man
cannot do without his wife. Likewise, a responsible
woman's affection for her husband should be
boundless. Marriage should be seen as highly
honourable for a woman. To say a woman is living
with her husband should mean that she is submissive,
responsive and responsible. An unmarried woman is
most likely to be an unstable woman. The absence of a
man in a woman's life is a big vacuum that is repaired
only by the presence of a man in her life! On the other
hand, a wife is a check on the excesses of her husband
and, vice versa; either of them living alone is prone to
unacceptable degree of tenderness with grave
consequences. The issue of instability can become
generational because children brought up under such
environment will display such features in their own
lives and may not attach a high premium to the
durability of marriage.
Gradually, I began to insinuate my views to my
wife at every opportunity and made her to realize the
need to be totally committed to me as her husband. Of
course, the Bible was my principal recourse as to what
marriage should be.
Because of our compatible nature which enables
us to discuss issues amicably and extensively and her
inherent ability to listen and be reasonable, her former
views have drastically and happily changed
180
wholesomely as to what a true marriage should mean
to a couple. The result is that we have achieved
happiness. Not only that, Mary is part of the endeavour
that produced a book on marriage. She had
contributed a whole chapter entitled “40 Ways To Lose
Your Wife” in my publication, “This Thing Called
Marriage”. This degree of collaboration confirms in no
small way that we are flowing together as a good
couple should.

Mary Switched Off!

As idealistic as we may appear, I have already

stated that we are not cut above the ordinary run of
individuals, except that we work hard not to lose sight
of God's eternal way. It is why it may not be too
ironical to state that inspite of all that I have said about
my Mary, there was a particular period, again, in our
marriage that she developed a serious anxiety. Our
marriage was between nine and twelve years old. Mary
had become highly emotional and very difficult to
please. It was like she had uncertainties which she
could not figure out. She was aggressive and nagging
and no amount of persuasion and openness on my part
could reassure her. While failing myself to solve the
mystery, I intensified our family devotion. She said
“amen” to all the prayers offered but it did not alter
her baffling character, even when I counseled her till as
late as 2 a.m. almost every day.

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 At a point, I was affected by her deteriorating
attitude. Her joy had been my joy, her sadness mine.
But God controlled my temper so I was only disturbed
but not angry over the situation.
The pregnancy of our last boy, Olatunbosun, was
incubated within this stormy period of our marriage.
To aggravate the already bad situation, her elder
brother's wife who had recently given birth to a baby
boy died. I was hobbled with both having to get Mary
back to her real self and simultaneously consoling and
condoling her entire family over the recent death in the
family.
I was therefore worried for her psychological
disposition in her own pregnancy and the fear of a
miscarriage or complications to her health during
delivery. I was on tenterhooks.
At a stage, I changed tactics of therapy. I had
proceeded like a Pastor before, then I became both a
Research student and a teacher. I consulted many
available books on marriage in the attempt to diagnose
Mary's problems and discover a redeeming solution.
Daily, I verbalized to her, like a town-crier, my
assurance that she would establish herself in my home,
and that I cared for her. I assured her of God's
unwavering support and love for her and recounted
our enthralling past. I recalled vividly the beginnings
of our love and how we had successfully managed our
initial, teething problems. Our prevalent situation was
not different, I assured her. Above all, God was in
absolute control.

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 One night about 2 a.m., I woke up to find Mary
sitting on the bare floor with tears running down her
cheeks, I quickly jumped off our bed to her side but
her mumbled answers to my questions were lost in her
tears. I was troubled to my marrows. I helped her
back to the bed and began a fervent prayer session
while laying my hands upon her head. After all the
prayers, I re-assured her repeatedly until we were able
to go back to sleep.

Mary Recovered

In the end, my research eventually revealed that it was

not uncommon to have such a crisis period in a
married woman's life and that the abiding medicine for
such condition was CONSTANT REASSURANCE by
the spouse. I applied this recommendation and added
prayers to it. It worked and finally Mary regained
herself again!

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 Chapter 26

My Mother-In-Law
This is about the right stage to comment briefly
about my wife's parents.
My mother-in-law was one of the most reasonable
mothers I have ever come across. Naturally mothers
have first knowledge of their daughters' love life,
including issues of marriage. Through my early
relationship with Iyabo (Mrs. Abe) and her husband, I
had an easy link-up with my mother-in-law-to-be.
Thereafter, she took me as if I were her own child.
She tutored me early enough on what to do to avoid
the wrath of my father-in-law to be. She gave me
freedom to access the family, as often as I wished,
partly through my good friends, the Abe family. In this
way, I was able to appreciate her deeply.
The greatest contribution she made to my marriage was
shielding me from any attacks during my courtship. For over 20
years of our association until her death in August 2003, I never
had a moment of regret with her as my mother-in-law. Madam
Amudalat Ayinde never intruded in our marriage as some
mothers-in-law do in the guise of so-called 'love'.
As much as possible, she distanced herself from our day-to-
day relationship. Rather she prayed for us unceasingly. On the
few occasions she visited us, she was usually very brief and would
come in as early as 6a.m. with cooked food and gifts for her
grand-children. Within an hour or so, she would be gone. Like
my mother, apart from praying for us, she always expressed her
deep appreciation to us for the little we were able to offer her for

184
her comfort. Happily, she never witnessed any quarrel
between Mary and I throughout her life! May her
gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.

My Father-in-Law

I had been warned of how hot tempered my father-in-

law could be. But I thank God that he had admitted
me into his family-fold without any prejudices. My
father-in-law, Pa Ayinde Buraimoh, was however
uncompromising about one thing in a man's life: that
he expected everyone to strive to have one's own roof
over one's head as soon as practicable! That
expectation became a limiting factor to the frequency
of our visits to him because he would not listen to any
excuse for the delay in building our own house!
Whenever we were with him, it was his recurring
question: what were we doing to acquire a property.
He confessed that his worrying attitude in the matter
was informed by his great suffering as a tenant.
Early in our marriage, the question troubled us
greatly because we had no acceptable answer and it
made him unhappy. However, as time went by, God
met this need in our life - we bought a land eventually!
Thereafter we became freer in our meetings for a while
and his question changed to: how far had we gone
with our building project? Again, this question
seemingly threw a spanner into the frequency of my
visit to him. This was not because I did not appreciate
his concern but I felt he had been driving us too hard.
When God eventually made it possible for us to lay our
185
building foundation in September 1989, it restored
more comfort to our relationship. Even though the
house was only roofed in April, 2004, before then I
was already able to face my Daddy's questioning
anytime I visited him.
To shed more light on how close I was to him, I
was to be among the first couple of 'his children' to
know the location of his new building site in his home
town Abeokuta. Like my mother-in-law, he has
appreciated very much the little that we have been able
to do for him too. He prays for us always and anytime
I have visited him, I have had to sacrifice the whole
day for it because our stories would begin from where
we stopped on the last visit, as a prelude to the next
story! I must not decline his refreshments which are
always surplus for me. That is my Daddy, Pa Ayinde
for you, and the fact that he has remained a Muslim
and we Christians, has not affected our mutual
relationship in any way. It has been such with my
parents-in-law that my wife and I have preached to and
prayed for them without creating acrimony.

His Other Wife

Pa Ayinde's home is a polygamous one, like my

own father's house. He had two wives. Therefore I
am used to living peacefully in whatever environment I
find myself - whether polygamous or monogamous.
My resolve has been to treat my wife's step-mother like
my mother or as my direct mother-in-law. Thank God,
I have a wife who is sensible, perceptive and agreeable.
186
She goes along with me in whatever is good. So, we've
cared in our own little way for my step-mother-in-law
accordingly and she has ever gladly reciprocated our
gesture with love. I have no fears sharing her repasts
and we relate in-depth freely with her children too.
That is the climate of relationship I enjoy - an
atmosphere of peace and love wherever I go, as with
my in-laws' entire household up till date.

My Wife and Her Siblings

I have hinted elsewhere in this book that all of us

(including my wife and her siblings) somehow resemble
facially. I was therefore not surprised when Pastor
Lawrence Osagie (now a Bishop) of Powerline Bible
Church particularly drew my attention to that fact in
the appearance of my wife and I. At another time, a
female colleague of mine, Roli Okome, on seeing us
together, walked up to me (after my wife had left),
apologized for posing a seemingly patently foolish
question and asked whether our culture permitted us to
marry our sisters in my place! When I asked why she
enquired, she replied, “your wife and you look so much
alike”!. Such reactions have continued to dog us, as a
result of which I have since developed some notion
that Mary and I might be related biologically, howbeit,
distantly!
Ironically, Mary and I are also similar in character
and basically share the same views on some major
issues of life. That's apart from our mutual fondness, a

187
relationship that has enabled our children to be close as
one big family.

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 Chapter 27

How We Manage
Our Marriage
I Preach what I Practise

First, having written a book on Marriage and how

to make it work, I think this chapter is important because my
readers will want a proof that the theories I postulated in that
book actually work or whether I am just another of those writers
who are only good at telling others what to do but do not match
their words with their actions in their own homes!
Secondly, my wife and I had to weigh carefully the
information to give in this book about our home for public
consumption.
Being more of an introvert, she was reluctant to
give any form of publicity about her private life. I am
therefore grateful to her that after a great deal of
persuasion and understanding, she agreed to the release
of the following detail for the interest of readers.
I had to resolve some questions that agitated my
mind to enable readers appreciate the remarkable
qualities that have characterized our marriage. It would
do no good to just state those qualities without
revealing how they came to be. Otherwise one would
give the wrong impression that one never had any
problems or that one was an angel. And the very
objective of writing this autobiography would be
defeated: namely, to impart the knowledge of how to
overcome marital problems successfully through the
189
prism of my (or our) own practical and exemplary
experience. Otherwise it would rather be idiotic or
facile to begin our story by saying our life togethe (that
is our marriage) has been blissful, beautiful, fulfilling,
rosy and marvelous.

For this reason, and to ensure that my readers

derive maximum benefits both for their valuable time
and buying this book, we have packaged and revealed
so much intimate details of our private existence to be
of universal value to all.

How I see My Wife

I see my wife as a rare breed of women who,

fortunately, are able to keep their heads when others
lose theirs. They had been obedient to their parents
who guided them in spiritual matters. They also stuck
to their books to realize their vision, which, in later
years, set them apart from the ordinary in their
societies.
In the above context, I see my wife as a universal
representative of what a wife ought to be - a mother
who needs utmost care and respect and whose views
matter. In that respect, to the best of my ability, I try to
care for her.
Sometimes I see her as a sister who needs
affection, for whom I become a Counselor. Other
times, I see her as a daughter who needs unconditional
love, support, prayers and guidance and whom I accept
in her essential strengths and challenges.
190
 I respect her as an ardent critique, a non-
conformist whose ideas must be valid. In this
realization, when she holds forth on certain issues, I
am guided by her attitude to arrive at a decision that
becomes 'our decision'. Her interventions have
become very invaluable to me in my literary
endeavours. She scrutinizes all my manuscripts ever
before they are proof-read by my editors. I see her as a
true friend whose views are transparently worthy and
to whom therefore I lay bare all the facts at my
disposal for a wholesome consideration and decision.
Therefore I regard her as a partner who shares my
vision, hopes and aspirations. We spend hours doing
this on the bed, often forgetting our conjugal rights
and exercises. We are both very philosophical in
nature. My wife is an epitome of humility that is
soothing to me in times of stress. She's a help-mate
who takes initiative in the running of our home in a
way that has given me a breathing space to work on
major issues single-mindedly without diversions.
I am strongly aware of her potent beauty, just as,
the other day, a lady at my optician's could not help
exclaiming, on sighting my wife, “E m'oju lo s'oja”,
“You have an eye for beauty”. Honestly, my wife is
truly beautiful and charming - physically and
characteristically. .
All the time, I am unable to disregard her as my
student who must be properly tutored on the issues of
life so that she will not stumble. She has remained
receptive to the teaching. When she pours out her
concerns, I gladly give her my honest opinions.
191
Wherever I am in doubt, I make research, even in the
internet, to arrive at the right answers which I share
with her. In the event, we have the habit whereby we
are constantly reading and discussing a book of
knowledge together. (I think my readers should imbibe
this reading habit of ours)

Our Spiritual Angles

On our spiritual side, Mary is as gifted as I am, in

seeing, even in the revelations of dreams and visions.
Many of her dreams on several issues have come to
pass. She's one-on-one with God. She talks to God
and God responds to her audibly. I am equally gifted
in these areas. However, discernment of the spirit and
boldness to teach and speak the word in public appear
to be the only edge I have over and above her in the
work of God spiritually. We are working together to
see that she also develops some of her many gifts in
the spirit too. There is no doubt that she truly loves
the Lord.

How I treat Mary on Domestic Issues

From the foregoing, my readers will observe the

true nature of my relationship with my wife, which, by
God's grace, will not change as long as I live and she
remains my wife.

192
 I do believe that a man's home is a reflection of
his vision of it. I have always thought of my home as
one where my wife, my children, my mothers, my
fathers, my brothers and sisters and all segments of my
extended family are not only fairly treated but see
themselves being so fairly treated. This principle
touches friends too. I have always reassured my wife
that we could suffer some pains to achieve this. She
has stood by me.
My wife knew early enough in our marriage that
she was entitled to acquire real property in her own
name, but she had to be open in doing so. In other
words, she had to involve me whenever she went
about and performed such self-actualisations. I would
not welcome surprises. I too was obliged to so treat
her whenever I went about my own acquisitions. Our
transparency has, therefore, remained mutual.
Mary whole-heartedly accepted my all-inclusive
treatment of family members as long as I was able to
provide the means to do so. After all, she grew up in a
community of people and would not enjoy living
where people are not fairly treated.
I made some early pledges to her: I would be fair
to her at all times and would not obstruct anything that
would bring about positive development to her life.
She was free to improve herself academically; by the
way, she married me as a Secondary School Leaving
Certificate holder but today she is a University of
Lagos graduate in Accountancy. (Ironically, we
entered into the Universities of Lagos and Lagos State
Universities respectively the same year and graduated
193
the same year!) Besides, she is already engaged in the
Chartered Institute of Bankers examinations.
I also promised to provide for my home to the
best of my ability. While doing so, she would always
see my pay-slip and know how I spend all the monies I
earn. But to allow for flexibility, we would not operate
a joint account, although we would together do the
Family Budgeting. All these are the reality of our life
today.
I convinced her that she has actually been a
member of Omogboyega's family from the beginning
but only had sojourned awhile in her paternal (Pa
Ayinde's) family just as I had done in Pa Ilugbusi's
house. So, like the Ruth-Naomi relationship in the
Bible, my home is her home, my people her people.
Interestingly, our likelihood of conduct might have
been the case of why people see us as look-alikes
(albeit facially!). I have had to do a bit of research to
establish whether there is indeed any historical or
biological relationship between us from ancient times!
I found some notional connection. She hails from
Abeokuta. My maternal grandfather, Olayinka, the son
of Olatomi, hailed from Aisegba Ekiti. I have read in
one newspaper publication that Aisegba people are
descendants of a particular segment of Abeokuta.
They had left Abeokuta for Aisegba-Ekiti because of a
chieftaincy dispute. In their new settlements, they
disclaimed their origins thus, “A-a ki-i-se-Egba”,
meaning “We are not Egbas” which pronouncement
metamorphosed by malapropism into : “Aisegba”.
This is how far I have gone meanwhile but even now I
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can claim with some measure of certainty that my wife
and I are consanguineously or ancestrally related!.
I re-emphasized to my wife that in the day-to-day
running of our nuclear family, she is next in command
to me. I let all those who live with me realize that
whatever affects my wife affects me too. Therefore,
there was no room for rudeness or allowance for those
oppressive traditions, which made a married woman
subservient in her own home to relatives of the
husband who could slap or disdain her without
repercussion.
As for succession to my estate, I am a strong
believer in making a written will. My wife has nothing
to worry about as to how I want my estate to be
managed whenever I die. I wrote my first Will at under
40 years of age and it has been revised over and over
again since then as occasion and significant events
compelled.
As I explained my concept of 'fair treatment' to
my family, my wife realized that my family does not
rate higher than herself. Reciprocally, she too has no
licence to abuse my relatives in any manner
whatsoever. They are family, not beggars. Thank
God, we detest abusive language in my immediate
family because such practice offends God and all that I
stand for. We know the lethal nature of the tongue
which, according to the word of God, “is the smallest
part of the body but it is the most powerful”. Instead
of abusing somebody in anger, we rather say the
opposite, and we have trained all our children and
those around us to do this from early on.
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 When there is a serious family issue to resolve
with any of my people, she understands that she has to
leave such matters exclusively for me to handle. Any
such issues should not be the basis for denying any
member of the family the necessities of life or for her
to develop negative attitude towards such a member or
members of the family.
To us, the word “family” incorporates the nuclear
and the extended. As far as I am concerned,
everybody (father, mother, step-mothers, brothers,
sisters, uncles, cousins, neighbors etcetera) contributed
one thing or the other to my upbringing. Truly I
cannot pay them all back for their goodness but I
would appreciate them in whatever little way in my
power. Therefore I have appealed to my wife that
whenever they are around, she should make them as
comfortable as possible, while it would be my duty to
meet their specific needs. It is in the execution of such
expectation that many self-centred women ruin their
marriages through insensitivity. But my humble wife
has succeeded through her acquiescent disposition, and
today she is a model in the family!
Another important issue in our relationship is the
importance of identifying with my origin, my culture, etcetera. I
have, for instance, stressed that no matter how rosy Lagos may be
for us, Iyin-Ekiti remains my fountain, as it is for my
descendants. Neither want nor favour will ever make my
children to claim Lagos or anywhere for that matter, as their
State of origin. Likewise, they can have dual citizenship of
countries in addition to that of Nigeria, but Nigeria remains
their natural origin. Whatever Ekitland is, is what I and my
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children are and will be. We are grateful to God that Lagos, for
instance, remains a land of opportunities but Iyin is the
nurturing environment that, historically, will not reject me and
my generations, past and present. My family and I must form
part of her development. God willing, we shall have a place
there that will be our own home. We should frequent
the place at will. Knowing the powers that women
wield to formulate the perceptions of children, I have
appealed to Mary to please ensure that she does not in
any way discourage or divert my children from
patronizing their origins. It is their land and by the
special grace of God, nothing shall hurt them there.
Rather, she should herself commendably identify with
Iyin people and their culture for the children's
emulation.
Today, Mary speaks Ekiti dialect better and much more
fluently than I do! She understands the geography of
my father's farm, perhaps more than I do and mixes so
freely with my entire family that everybody thinks she
was originally from Iyin. The relationship between her
and my mother was as between mother and daughter.
Indeed she has been my mother's last child!

Mary, My Mother and Step Mothers

My mother was fully entrenched in the (Pastor

Owaseye a.k.a Jesuloba -led) CAC Church. Just as I
rigidly insisted upon registering Mary in the public
Hospital whenever she was pregnant, so my mother
overtook my move first by registering her in the
Church's Clinic. My mother represented her on every
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mid-week service organized for pregnant women in the
Church and ensured that the 'annointed water' from
there was not only brought home for her use but that
she applied it properly as instructed.
And when our babies were delivered, it was
practically into my mother's palms, for she undertook
the rest of the responsibilities to nurture them. That's
what she dutifully did for all the children we have had.
My mother prepared food for us and she
maintained the home. She prayed for us as we went to
and from our work places every day. No doubt we saw
the hands of God in our lives through her prayers.
I would incur Mum's wrath if my voice was ever
raised harshly against either Mary or the Children. In
appreciation, Mary provided the best in terms of
clothing, feeding, groceries etcetera with which she
surprised Mum and me. Mary would sit at Mum's feet
to listen to endless stories about her origin, her family,
her town and all that she had. She did a lot of 'sing-
along' with Mum, of Ekiti songs sung in undiluted
Ekiti dialect and she acquired the intonation, the
enunciation, so marvelously that you would think she
was born and bred in Iyin. To further boost her
mastery of Ekiti dialect I had plied Mary and Mum
with King Femi Ariyo's and Chief Ogunyemi
Elemure's beautiful Ekiti songs which are a bundle of
gospel to everyone who understands Ekiti dialect.
From time to time we danced to the melodiuous
music of these great artists even in our sitting room!
Mary still listens to the weekly Ekiti programme
broadcast on Radio Lagos during week days! Such
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recourse and a thorough determination by my mother
to hand over a legacy of our oral history, honed Mary's
excellent spoken Ekiti dialect. This is what
compatibility brings to marriage - total acceptance of
one another by those involved!
My mother eventually departed to the great
beyond but my two other mothers who raised me in
the early years of my upbringing are alive and well. As
with my mother, the relationship between Mary and
both Hannah and Iyaniwura, my step-mothers, has
been an excellent one. There is an air of freedom
between them. The “iru” (locus beans) and dry
pepper, vegetables and yams are regularly parceled and
sent to Mary with introductory letters. The letters are
always full of prayers and praises for her innumerable
kindnesses to them.

Mary and My Father

Simply put, it is a replication of the relationship

between Mary and her own father, Pa Ayinde. My
father is deeply fond of her. He is an historian and
Mary is a good listener. By his teaching and
instruction, Mary will soon be able to write the history
of the Omogboyegas and the Iyin Community
accurately without further research! I will not be
surprised when that happens!

Mary and My Siblings, Nephews, Cousins

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 Mary has practicalised what I meant by fairness in
the family. Today, all those who lived with us accept
her as the Mummy and matriarch. They appreciate and
see her as God-sent. They reciprocate her good
gestures through ceaseless gifts, phone calls, visits, etc.,
by which they maintain contact with her. From the
comments I overhear and am told, Mary is a jewel of
inestimable value to the entire family. They shower
praises on her for the noble roles she's playing in the
entire family. To many, she is “Iya jeje” - the quiet
woman. Everybody in my family blesses Mary and her
children!.

Mary in the Church of God

She is humble, easy-going, a lover of children and

an active worker in the Church whose views are
respected. Properly trained, Mary is a good material for
Pastoral activities and with the full assistance of the
Holy Spirit of God, I have the onerous task of growing
her spiritually until she attains that level. It will be my
joy to see Mary, drawing upon her life experiences,
ministering to millions of souls (men, women, children,
etc) on this planet. This may be a tall order but God is
able to take us there.

Mary and Our Children

The children have individually and severally

extolled their Mummy as loving, caring but rather
strict, not given to explanations, in contrast to their
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father whom they see as patient and communicative,
caring and listening. They consider themselves as lucky
to have the mixture of 'hot' and 'warm' parents. They
are unanimous in their verdict that Mary and I are truly
loving.

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 Chapter 28

How We Manage
Our Finances
The issue of managing finances by a family is one
of the most fundamental issues that have built or
destroyed several homes. The lack of understanding of
how to manage homes financially is an unending
trouble to current day couples. It will continue to be
so for the foreseeable future!
However, to alleviate this problem and enable couples
to live happily together, there are three main theories
of managing financial resources to avoid jeopardy to
matrimonial homes. None of the three recommended
approaches is superior,one to the other.
First what is important is the underlying mutual
understanding that exists between a couple. They have
the essential need to co-operate with one another to
ensure the success of the method of financial
management they adopt to work for them. A sensible
couple should interchangeably try out periodically any
of the three methods as and when the subsisting
practice is failing to deliver on expectations maximally.
The switch or change-over must be mutually and
maturely managed to eschew any acrimony whatsoever.
In the end, they might be able to stick to the most
enduring method that aggregates the smooth running
of their home.
The first theory is about the husband and
(especially the working) wife maintaining a joint

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account whereby they put all their incomes in the same
purse. And then decide together how and when to
disburse the common wealth.
This method requires total transparency as to the
incomes earned by the couple. They plan together and
do everything in common. Since the management of
money is a major source of problems between people,
the ability of any family to operate a joint account
successfully leads to a closer rapport between them and
invariably eliminates the scourge of suspicion totally.
However, its practice has remained very difficult.
This is because of the unfathomable changeability of
the human being, resulting from pre-marital
agreements and expectations being broken by character
changes after marriage. Add the fact of the strong
natural tendency to be in control of one's personal
affairs! Divorces, breakages and breakdowns do occur,
and the threat of them disrupts even ideal
arrangements. Wills get disputed or litigated after the
death of couples, and settlement for myriad
beneficiaries or interests can be messy. So along the
way, reality intervenes to stump or put asunder a bond
of good living! Particularly in Africa, by the peculiar
nature of family configuration and relationship, joint
accounting is the exception rather than the rule.
The second practice enables husband or wife to
have total control of their separate earnings but they
contribute pro rata to the upkeep of the house. The
main feature here is that there is flexibility and
freedom. It is not to say that the freedom is absolute
or that each partner is not financially accountable to
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one another. It may work this way for instance: if the
couple is pursuing a capital project, the wife might take
over the responsibility of providing for the house such
as feeding, clothing, etcetera, while the husband's
income is expended upon such capital project. At the
end of the specific project, the husband resumes his
full responsibilities again and the wife reverts to her
previous role, whatever it might have been.
Another benefit is that this practice establishes the
man as the main provider for his home including his
wife. Though the woman contributes but her income
should not be a factor in running the home. But what
happens in the situation where the woman earns more
than the husband? This still does not change the
principle per se. The man only needs to be transparent
in his financial dealings with his wife. Once a woman
is so convinced, she willingly takes on responsibilities
that will benefit her family without complaint or
immodesty. However, it is important therefore that
the man seeks and strives continually to improve his
financial status so he does not degenerate eventually to
relinquishing his responsibility to and headship of the
family!
The weakeness of this method of financial
relationship and management is that the inherent
freedom could result also in gross abuse and lack of
transparency whereby married partners go their
separate lifestyles which probably results in broken
homes. Only a very compatible and transparently
honest couple can practice this method successfully.

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(This is the method we adopt, for now, in our own
marriage and it is working perfectly for us).
The third financial management style is one
whereby there's an agreement between husband and
wife to jointly manage a certain percentage of their
incomes. For this, a joint account is opened. The
husband contributes a certain per centage (say between
60-70%) of his income while the working wife
contributes, say between 30-40% to the same account.
This arrangement is particularly good when a couple
decides to jointly finance capital projects such as
building houses, establishing businesses, paying school
fees of childen and so on. This ensures a common
understanding between couples that are in well paid
employment, and they are thereby left with freedom to
expend the rest of their separate incomes any way they
each like to do. .
It is also, perhaps, the most appropriate method
for a couple to start their marital life in that it allows
for them to truly understand one another after which if
successfully practised, they can progress to the second
method and from there to the first method, if need be.
This method is attractive as it provides appreciable
but limited freedom for either party to enjoy part of his
or her income while it enables the family to pursue a
joint vision, or such-like. However, where a couple is
not compatible, it may fuel or engender controversies
as to what extent any estate so jointly financed belongs
to the woman exclusively since, often, all relevant
documents bear only the husband's name. Also, a
partner may wish to withdraw midway through the
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project, with the attendant reluctance or bitterness of
the other partner, thus creating an impasse or legal
debacle.
Like the totality of marriage itself, which is
humankind's greatest life's navigation, all three aspects
of accounting have merits and demerits!

We Chose To Manage Our Finances

Independently

In our financial understanding, while Mary might

be accountable for her own income, mine is subject to
family budgeting because it is my responsibility alone
in the first place to provide for the home or family.
This means that she sees the slip of my take-home
pay and the complete documentation of its
expenditure. Though her voluntary contribution to
family expenditure is enormous and highly appreciated,
I have not made it part of family budgeting. Rather I
consider it to be a cushioning income and record them
as “Mary's contribution” to the house in my budgeting
books. I don't even know precisely how much she
earns, talk less of budgeting it!
What have we gained from this approach? Apart
from defining the nature of our interrelationship and
statehood, this method has fostered a better
understanding between us and helped me clearly to
appreciate and quantify the maginitude of Mary's
voluntary contribution to our home. Whenever I seem
to totter under a capital project or the strain of (paying)

206
our children's school fees, she comes readily to manage
the domestic front.

Women And Financial Independence

Another gender issue that is of importance to me

concerns my wife (and women generally) being able to
own properties and being generally encouraged to do
so by their husbands. I do not see why my wife or any
woman for that matter cannot be economically
independent. I encourage this desire a lot in Mary and
I know that such attainment would neither inflate her
ego unduly nor make her materialistic in life.
So I advise her at every opportunity, because I
cherish a fulfilled woman who would not suffer
indignity even in widowhood or single parenthood. I
appreciate the position of a woman in the family as
envisaged or defined in Proverbs 31:11-31 and I try to
encourage Mary towards it. I see her also as the co-
pilot of an aircraft that achieves a safe-landing. Mary is
aware of my rather grandiloquent vision of woman,
which she happily shares. This picture of good living is
a necessary by-product of sound financial management
by any sensible married couple.

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 Chapter 29

What Makes
Marriage Successful is
Compatibility
“For every male, God has created a female who
is like him”- Yemi Omogboyega

Marriage, as I have said, thrives on compatibility.

Compatibility means living together harmoniously but
it does not exclude differences. But such differences
are always resolved with the couple's common
determination to move forward. One partner could be
sheep while the other is goat but they are always able to
co-exist. From our courtship days, readers could
observe that we have been confronted with the issues
of religion, clannishness, and educational
considerations but because we are compatible, we have
been able to surmount them all and live happily.
Let me not be too simplistic. A compatible marriage
certainly needs some doses of determination to make it work.
Compatibility is not an automatic guarantee of marital success
but it is the bedrock of it. This is because only people who can
reason together as God Almighty reasoned in the Holy Trinity to
create us that will be capable of resolving fundamental and
divisive issues amicably. Certainly God and Satan, like
light and darkness, cannot co-exist at unity as they are
in opposite poles. It then follows that only people of
like minds can interact to produce a positive
relationship or result. A truly compatible couple, no
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matter how tempted, cannot seek to harm, talk less of
hatching an evil plan against one another as it is
characterized in our society where a husband would
wantonly kill his wife for ritual purposes or a woman
would go to the extent of exposing her nakedness
before a native doctor, so-called Pastor or Alhaji, to
either make concoctions or secure satanic means to
appropriate a man. Compatibility cements
relationships naturally.

For every man or woman, God has created a

partnering likeness. So, to get the appropriate life-
partner, we must seek the face of God to give us the
right person for us. They are there and we would find
them if we are patient, prayerful and hardworking
enough to locate them. That is the antidote to the
calamitous marriages that have crashed and will crash
in the future in our society or in the world at large.
Compatibility enables the parties in a marriage to
see 'eye-to-eye' whenever misunderstandings or
differences occur, without hurting one another or
derailing their marriages. Ours is a practical example of
compatibility.

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 Chapter 30

How We Manage
Our Children
I have a clear vision of how I want my children to
turn out to be in every facet of life. I also believed
that for such visions to be fulfilled, I had to start early.
My first vision for them is to know God. With that, I
know that they will be easy to manage. For this reason, right in
their conception, my wife and I had prayed for them fervently and
prophesied to their lives. I had the habit of feeling how they
kicked in my wife's womb and, in conjunction with Mary, we
spoke the word of God to them as they wallowed therein. I had
appreciated how active as foetuses they were although
sympathising with my wife who had no choice in the discomfort of
bearing them.
As the children were given birth to, we delivered
them in faith into the hands of someone who was
much stronger and knowledgeable than we were, my
late mother, Victoria Tomire. She took care of
spiritual values thenceforth. That was when we
worshiped with the C.A.C. (Oke Aanu Parish) at Orile
Iganmu, Lagos. Although I had my personal
misgivings with CAC as a church, I remained there
because of my mother and my Pastor, Owaseye (a.k.a.
Jesu L'oba). My mother would not brook changing
from the CAC church and in Pastor Owaseye, I
discovered what was missing in previous CAC pastors -
enlightenment. Pastor Owaseye's sermons were rich

210
and progressive. In the end, all my children, except the
last baby, were named in the CAC church.
My mother shepherded them through every
programme in the Church while at the home front I
demonstrated to them, as a ministration (morning and
evening): consistently - right mannerisms, attitudes
and prophetic statements to mould their upbringing,
even though they didn't understand what I was saying
for a long time. By the time they started talking, I sang
along with them, mimicking their joyful, though
imperfect renditions! And as they began their A,B.C in
the Nursery Schools, I introduced God to them in like
manner. We all flowed together and early enough!
However, one of them was markedly different,
energetic and very restless, and he got my hands full
indeed. At his own insistence, he started schooling at
the age of one, on the day his elder brother who was
two years old, started. We thought it was a joke but he
stayed the course with his brother until primary five
when they were about to secure an admission into the
Secondary School together. Then Apata Memorial
School which they were moved to, decided to separate
them, allowing the older one to go to JSS1 while
insisting, for age reasons, that the junior be enrolled in
primary six. In natural progression, until then, I
virtually nursed twin brothers in every way!
As the junior grew, his restiveness increased and
he disdained to sit down during praise worships. He
fiddled with every available electronics equipment in
the house, wanting to know what made them function.
When he and his elder brother went for the National
211
Common Entrance examination and he urged him to
let them pray before writing the exams, he retorted
thus “that is how you will be wasting your time praying
instead of doing first what you are required to do”.
Incidentally, his senior subsequently scored 501 out of
600 in the exam while he scored only 438! Whenever I
wanted to review his day's work in the school to guide
him, he would say, “Daddy, don't teach me; I know it
all”.
He disrespected his elder brother whom he would
not accept as his elder. When anything was to be
shared, he chose first and the bigger part as well. He
overrode his elder brother in all situations and
challenged him into a fight every time!
One day, we called his bluff and cleared a ring for
them to fight, in order to put an end to his constant
harassments and restore his brother's birthright!
Indeed, his elder brother thrashed him so thoroughy
that he actually ran for his dear life! Thereafter, he
acquiesced and accepted, as it were, the pecking order
of the family. We forced him to recognise that his
elder brother was not only entitled to the larger portion
of anything they had to share, it was his brother's
prerogative to share any such things between them.
Finally, as a mark of respect, he was henceforth to call
his elder, 'brother', whenever he addressed him but
this order he was not prepared to swallow, he
seemingly regarded as a bitter pill - no matter the
threats we subjected him to. In the end, I resolved that
the matter needed a spiritual solution, whereby we

212
made it a recurring prayer-point during the daily family
altar.
Nonetheless, he continually kept the entire
household on their toes and seemingly perpetually
conjured a noisy atmosphere, although no one could
pin him down to it as the perpetrator!. But his
youthful progress was ceaselessly remarkable.
When he was enrolled in the CAC Nursery School
which my mother chose for the children, he fought all
comers, disrupting school activities in the process.
When eventually they were moved to a more
organised Nursery and Primary School, he was expelled
within two weeks for being too restless, thereby
incorrigibly disturbing the peace of other children!
This development really alarmed us about him and
emphasised the magnitude of the challenge we faced. I
intensified the practice of committing him to and
feeding him with the word of God, as well as
cultivating his companionship with me. In the course
of this remedy, God apparently came to our aid and He
appeared to him in a dream which he himself related to
us the next morning thus:

“Daddy I dreamt today. In the dream, I saw an old

man who said to me: 'you are a lucky boy. You have
very good parents who are very loving and caring.
Make sure you obey them always. Make sure you don't
give them troubles because they are very nice people!”

He seemed, not only to have been truly touched by the

dream but apparently shared the assertions of the 'old
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man' he saw in his dream. For a few days, he calmed
down and largely behaved to expectations again. He
still competed seriously with his elder academically
though and still yearned to outscore him always. I
loved that spirit of positive competition and so I
encouraged him to keep it up.
This was the position until a nephew of mine
(with a totally different background from our own
setting) joined us. My over-active son in question was
in JSS1 then and my nephew in JSS3. My nephew was
necessarily different by background. He exhibited
elements of stubbornness and lacked the culture of a
good reading habit. He preferred playing football to
committing to his studies then. These tendencies
negatively affected his academic performance in
school. At first my nephew and my restless son didn't
see eye-to-eye, so they were always quarrelling! One
such day, however, my son accidentally swallowed an
office pin during a minor scuffle between them. When
I remembered the story of an office worker who had
accidentally swallowed an office pin he was using as a
toothpick and he had died therefrom, I shuddered and
I rued the day my nephew came into my household.
After trying all possible means to induce him to vomit
the office pin, we finally gave him eba to swallow,
which he did successfully without complaining of any
obstruction or pain. We monitored him till day-break
when I took him to the hospital. His stomach was X-
rayed, and as the Doctor was examining the film,
surprisingly, my son was first to spot the pin in his
intestine before the Doctor could do so! Thereafter at
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home, we pleaded with him to let us always examine
his faeces in a bowl or on the ground before washing it
into the toilet, to be sure the pin was passed out of his
system. He bluntly refused and said he would conduct
it himself. So I made him sleep with us to monitor his
movements. We searched his toilet unsuccessfully and
frustratingly until the fourth day when he was once
again pressed to defecate. I then dragged him
protesting to the side of the sewage pit to pass his
stool. Lo and behold, the pin was found in it! It had
become totally blackened and we praised God,
because we could breathe easy once again!
But that was not the end of negative influences
that threatened our collective fate on the arrival of my
nephew in our house. My son's positive competitive
attitude soon evaporated and he took after my
nephew's unacceptable traits a hundred per cent. He
started recording woeful failures in exams at school.
My wife and I as well as his elder brother,
Olumide, were seriously disturbed. We prayed,
counselled and chastised him but there was no
improvement. .
As a last resort, and in a flash of inspiration, I
summoned up my son and my nephew one day.
Rather than remonstrate straight away, I cursed
strongly the spirit that seemed to bind them invicibly
together and, in the name of the Lord, decreed instant
breakage of whatever their co-operative attitude had
wickedly foisted on them to perpetrate their backward
mentality. Then I threatned them with police arrest and
expulsion from home if they would not reform. While
215
on it, I descended more heavily on my son than my
nephew to avoid being accused of discrimination or
victimisation. Everyone in the house, except my wife
who knew I was putting up an act, was forced to plead
with me to rescind my determination. Eventually, I
allowed myself to be persuaded against my will!
Later, during the family altar, the spirit of God
directed me to remind my son of the content of his
earlier dream of the “Old Man' who had urged him to
be obedient to his parents and avoid causing trouble. I
urged him to realize that a child destined for greatness
must pass through troubles of the type he was
experiencing.
I reminded him that God was working with him
in a dream like the Biblical Joseph. I told him that
what was happening to him was Satan's design to make
him offend God and revolt against his loving parents
so that he could be cursed. Therefore, he needed to
resist the devil at all costs. As I spoke, I saw his
countenance suddenly begin to change! Then we
prayed and I laid my hand upon him, and emptied my
heartful desires upon him by prophesying that his
disturbed state would surely end and that he would be
his normal good self again; that like Joseph, he would
become great; God would continue to direct the affairs
of his life; he would bring blessing to his family and
not shame; he would prosper and, most importantly,
that he would become a Minister of God such as a
Pastor, apart from whatever career he might choose for
himself. (I also prayed likewise for my nephew)

216
 Again, God took control. My son became
contemplative and the spirit of the Lord took hold of
him. He was opening up to me once more and we
prayed together often. Although he remained friendly
with my nephew, he shed the bad habits he had learned
from him. There soon was a dramatic improvement in
his academic performance. He began to score credits
rather than passes. That was the position when he
wrote his JSS.3 examinations, whereas his elder brother
had made distinctions in virtually all his papers at that
level.
However, by the time he was promoted to SS1, he
had fully regained lost ground. Whenever I dropped
him and others at school in the morning he would go
straight to a particular quiet classroom to read his
books. When the school authorities themselves
observed this constant resort, they most often left him
out of the morning assembly so as not to disrupt his
studies. When he subsequently wrote his first term
exam, he took first position which he maintained until
he passed out of SS3!. Like his elder brother at the SS2
class, he passed the GCE papers with flying colours!
When he wrote his SSCE/NECO exams, they were
walkovers! Not only that he came home with the best
student's prizes in four core science subjects like
Maths, Physics, and two others, he also obtained the
Neatest Boy's prize in that academic year. His elder
brother had obtained 5 of such prizes in the core -
science subjects and topped it with the prize for the
best overall student! I was glad to fly down from
Abuja on the day of the graduation ceremony,
217
purposely to attend his valedictory service. I am proud
of him (nay, them)! He had become so focused and
competitive that one day he dared his elder brother
prophetically in my presence, thus:

“…thank you for waiting for me. I am

going to enter the University at the same
time with you and will graduate even before you”!

Spiritually, he voluntarily attends Church

programmes without any urging. My son today not
only reads the Bible himself but volunteers to
participate in Bible quizzes in my church, often
winning good prizes! (The same thing goes for his
elder brother who, observedly, is spiritually more
developed, even than the rest of us in the nuclear
family!)
Thank God he is like Joseph and not Jacob; so, I
see his competitive nature as a positive one rather than
the outsmarting type. (And I have personally taught
him to appreciate his elder brother as the pace-setter in
his life and I am happy he deeply appreciate that
golden contribution by him to his life's progresses).
As I write, both he and his elder brother are in
different Universities, but because his degree course is
a year shorter than his brother's, he would predictably
graduate earlier than his elder brother! We are happy
parents today.
The competition between them is healthily on-
going; so it is amongst the other children that God has

218
blessed us with (including those who are not our
biological children but living with us).
If only for the transformation of this boy, I thank God
for my decision not to put my children in the hostel
early in their lives. Whatever they missed by not being
in the hostel cannot be compared to the balanced
education (spiritual, academic and home training) they
have been able to receive from us as their parents.
Again, by the kind of environment God has granted us
the grace to create in our house for children, any child
who steps into our house, stands automatically
transformed academically, morally and socially, because
he or she becomes inured to hardwork, godliness and
sound moral grounding!
No doubt they become children of God as well as
assets, not only to themselves, their families, their
employers in the future but to this Nigeria and, of
course, the world at large. Spiritually, nothing stops
them from becoming top-class Ministers of God, in
addition to their secular callings. This is because we
have been consistent in their mentoring and
upbringing, from which they would not depart.
Indeed, the impact of our process of godly character-
moulding will manifest in subsequent pages.

219
 Chapter 31

Why The Hurry About

Writing An Autobiography?
(The 1992 Edition of Better Tomorrow)

I have a Story to Tell

I have always had a calling or serious inclination

to write. I have had this feeling as early as when I was
between the ages of 10 and 14 years. The powerful
expressions in the Yoruba Bible (especially the stories
of Joseph and Jesus) and such like other stories and
text-books like “Alawiye”, by J.F. Odunjo, and “Ireke
Onibudo”, “Igbo Irunmale” and some other beautiful
works of D. O. Fagunwa whetted my urge to write as I
grew up. Those books fascinated me a lot.
Again, as I advanced academically over the years
and became exposed to the very powerful works of the
likes of Prof. Wole Soyinka, “The Man Died”, and
“The Trial of Brother Jero” , Ola Rotimi's “The God's
Are Not To Blame”, Chinua Achebe's “Things Fall
Apart” and, “A Man Of The People”; Lord Denning's
writings in the field of Law, Kenneth Kaunda's
“Zambia Shall Be Free', Thomas Hardy's “The Mayor
of Casterbridge”, George Orwell's “1984”, Zainab
Alkali's “StillBorn”, as well as “Tess of the
Durbervilles”, “The Concubine”, “The Beautiful Ones
Are Not Yet Born”, “Animal Farm”, Camara Laye's
“The African Child” and other works by the likes of
Cyprian Ekwensi, Lord Denning's books in the
220
province of legal profession, my love for writing
became more and more deep-rooted.
I had also been amazed by the great works of the
father of all writers, W.S. Shakespeare in “Macbeth”,
“The Merchant of Venice”, “Romeo and Juliet”, and
the inspirational and Christian writings of Dale
Canegie, Mike Murdock, Pastor E.A. Adeboye and
Pastor W.F. Kumuyi. In time, I knew I would become
a writer, although I could not fathom the scope, nature
or direction of it.

I Begin to Experiment

My first attempt at writing was between 1976 and

1981 when I tried to write a fiction. It was infact
predicated on my own life experience as one who,
though born into abject poverty, triumphed in the end
through faith in God and by dint of hard work. But I
failed to finish it because I was not yet versed in literary
ways.
Realising that my venture into writing was
premature, I decided to first equip myself through a
sound education and literary exposure, so that when I
returned to it, I had something useful and valuable to
say expertly to humanity.
But the next opportunity I had to resume my
avowed literary undertaking did not come by way of
the anticipated logical development. Indeed, I had
been taken seriously ill suddenly on 7th October, 1981,
and as I was being rushed to the hospital, I had a
feeling of dread that I might die. If that happened, I
221
would have missed the opportunity to leave a
testament of my life for the coming generations, which
would indeed be sad.

A Will, Regrets, Legacy?

But, funnily, what immediately came to my mind

then to fill the vacuum was to write a Will, stating how
my few possessions should be sold off at the nearby
Oshodi market to enable my remains to be transported
to its resting place in my birth-place and for the burial
expenses to be met! Then two other issues troubled
my heart. One, I took a stock of the number of single-
subject examinations I had written with the various
examining bodies (RSA, Pitman, etc), the results of
which were still being awaited - 39 altogether. I then
prayed that God would spare my life to see their
outcome!
Second, I had always cherished the need to leave
this world a much better place than I had met it. The
only way to do that was by leaving something useful,
inspiring and worthwhile behind for posterity,
especially the underclass, the stressful and the
desperate. I could write my own story which would
cost me only time and writing materials. After all, I
could myself type whatever I wrote and the product
would add value to the lives of whoever read it. Such
writing would expose readers' own shortcomings as
well as induce them to similarly help other
downtrodden people. There was the possibility too
that such writing would get into the hands of some
222
prosperous people who might thereby re-focus their
minds to help the needy.
It was for these considerations that I started
writing the first edition of my autobiography.

Autobiography, Not An Easy Book To Write!

Yes, I began writing my history mainly to inspire

the young to catch their own vision and pursue it to
fulfillment in the society. It was also to encourage
those already in the struggle not to give up and for
those already at the top of the ladder to lift more
people up to where they are.
But I was concerned about where and how to say
whatever needed to be said, even in the first edition of
this book. That was beside my wonderment about
what could then be so unique and remarkable in my
life of just 24 years that would constitute a useful
material to humanity! Myriad other considerations
invaded my mind, which I thought would dissuade any
publisher from accepting my manuscript for
publication. But I was convinced that I would be
missing and wasting the opportunity if I failed to tell
my story.
I developed the content of my writing gradually,
researching along the way! In the process, I had to
read whatever books came my way, which helped my
so-called uncertain project. One such book is written
by a lady, Jones by name, the details of which I cannot
relate here. It said in part and I quote:“It is never too

223
early nor too late to write autobiographies. People are
interested in reading about other people…”
A big and recurring challenge was having to write
and re-write many times whatever I wrote. Initially this
effort was in long-hand and it was certainly tedious for
me. Later, I had access to manual typewriters with
which I typed the hand-written scripts. Then through
my Secretarial occupation, I was relieved with electric
typewriters, which gave me neater copies. Then came
the early Word Processors, which, for the first time
ever, helped to save my scripts as well as make editing
easy.
After eleven years of toddling efforts, I thought I
had produced an acceptable draft (as adjudged by all
those who read it). The big question was who would
publish it? As I contemplated this in 1992 or
sometime earlier, I saw a newspaper advertisement by
the Ilesanmi Publishers in Akure, inviting good scripts
from prospective writers. I quickly dispatched mine to
them by registered mail, which they promptly
acknowledged with a promise to get back to me after
scrutiny. When this promise was not forthcoming, I
made a follow-up trip to Akure but unfortunately,
Chief (Mrs.) Ilesanmi who had the final say was not
available.
I came back to Lagos in frustration. It was while
I fiddled that personal computers were introduced and
I was lucky again to have access to one by which I
quickly transferred my manuscript to a diskette. It
began my progress towards realizing a publishing
career. At a point, I used the computer to print the
224
contents and contracted out the printing of the back-
cover to a Printer-friend. I was able to produce just a
few copies. Later, a professional printer made plates of
the contents by which finally, one hundred or so copies
were produced at a token fee.
That was how I accomplished my publishing goal.
But I gave the books as tokens to all those I knew
would benefit from it. The feedback I received from
them encouraged me very much and it gave me the
greatest booster which spurred me to publish this
current edition in 2005.

225
 Chapter 32

The Emergence
Of The Current Edition
Updating my Scripts

While I guarded jealously the diskette containing

my original drafts, I kept updating them as I gained
more experience in life and it made my story better and
better by the day.

The Calls to Print This Edition

At a time, I gave a copy of an updated version of

the 1st edition to a new acquaintance, one Mr.
Fagbohun, a Law Lecturer with the Lagos State
University, Ojo. He was impressed with it and our
relationship became solidified. The book gave him a
deep insight of who I really was. He was full of my
praises for my resilience in the writing and he saw that
I deserved every kind of assistance that would enable
me attain my desired goals in life. Thenceforth, Mr.
Fagbohun did all he could to assist me in my academic
pursuits.
This was not the end of the story. One day, he
called me unexpectedly on phone and our
conversation, as far as I can recollect, went thus:

226
Fagbohun: Please sir, do you still have a copy of
your autobiography which you gave to me sometime
ago?

Yemi: I have exhausted my stock sir.

Fagbohun: Can you lay your hands on even the

script? I don't mind having that for keeps.

Yemi: I do have the script and can still print it on

the computer for you but what happened to the copy I
gave to you earlier?”

Fagbohun: I loaned it out to somebody who was

passing through a difficult period in life and on the
brink of giving up. After reading it you will be
surprised about what he has achieved for himself since
then and how transformed his life has become; you will
marvel that it was your life history that actually did the
miracle! God bless you immensely for giving hope to
those who are in dire need of it.
When I later asked for your book to be returned
to me, this guy would not do so. He rather advised me
to go back to the author for another copy. That's why
I'm calling you now to request for a new copy.
Yemi: God bless you sir. I am happy that the book
has achieved (and is achieving) my desired purposes in
peoples' lives. I will surely send you another copy very
soon.

227
To me, that was a major call to produce this (2nd)
edition.

Again, here is another call and testimony by Kazeem

Ojo Olanipekun who had the double fortune of living
with me and reading the first edition of “Better
Tomorrow”:

'About his book “BETTER TOMORROW” (the

1992 edition which I was priviledged to read
when I lived with him) the book revealed to me that
only fools do not believe about tomorrow for each day
past; the future keeps every one in suspense, hence the
journey to tomorrow. This book is a Fountain of Life.
It charted a good course for my life. I was doubly
blessed because I witnessed him live what he preached,
and he personally taught me day and night: the fear of
God, hard work, and the appreciation of people.
Today, his appreciation of personality is embedded in
my person'!

As I said earlier, what also led to this qualitative

revision, both in substance and print, was the contact I
had with a prolific Nigerian writer, Bisi Ojediran, who
has become my literary mentor.
Bisi introduced me to his own Editors and
ensured that they edited the book to make it
worthwhile for the larger market place. Gladly enough,
the modern technology came at the right time the e-
edition of this book is being published side by side

228
with the paper covers! I appreciate this personal touch
very much.

229
 Chapter 33

Publishing
My Scripts
But having related what good works could
achieve, it must be stated that having them published
had become a problem. Most publishers only consider
scripts that would yield them instant profits. In the same spirit,
they would rather solicit for and publish the life histories of highly
successful people like the Bill Gates of this world, the Rotimi
Williams, the Soyinkas, the Lord Dennings, the Chinua
Achebes, The George Bushes, The Bill Clintons and a host of
other renowned public men whose names ring a bell. They will
go to the graves of Williams Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, and
Abraham Lincoln, and a host of other past but very successful
leaders to re-echo their works to the present day generations.
Those are where the immediate profits lie for every publisher who
will not accommodate the likes of the yet-to-be-known Yemi
Omogboyegas of this world, even with riveting manuscripts and
interesting stories.
Of course it makes good business sense to take
such route, for no business wants to put its money
where the chances of making a tidy profit are
uncertain.
But, to new writers, this is a hurdle to jump before
they can come to limelight. That is the challenge before
me.
However, I have always seen opportunities in
adversity. Since I believe in myself, I should be
prepared to invest in myself. I do believe my stories

230
carry substance, for which, I stake my all to get them to
the target audience!
Therefore, this has been opportunity to turn a
seemingly unfavourable situation to my own advantage.
That's why I resolved that I would not only publish
and market all my works myself, with my own
resources, I will continue to do so until reputable
publishers will run after my scripts! Meanwhile, if I
lose, I lose; if I gain, I gain all! As I write, I strategise
simultaneously as to how to finance its production.
That was how I have published “Better Tomorrow”
(1st Edition in 1992) followed by “This Thing Called
Marriage” in 2001/2003 “A Gallery of Positive
Thoughts” in 2003 with the financial assistance of
friends (names I have acknowledged somewhere in this
book), “Family Budgetting, A Must for Your Home”
and now, this - “Better Tomorrow” (2nd Edition) in
2005.
But, keeping the publishing pace with the rate at which
I write had begun to pose some problems because my
literary capability had enabled me in the past to sustain
the writing of different books at the same time, apart
from putting some two or three other completed
books in reserve. I had to consult friends and relations
for a way out.
Recently, I met a topmost Executive of a multinational
company who confirmed that he has been seeing
(unknown to me) my works in the marketplace.
He wanted to know how I had been able to publish my
books and whether I have been covering my costs. I
explained to him what I have just said but emphasized
231
that in the past, what mattered to me was reaching out
to people whose positive feedback had been quite
encouraging and inspiring. He gladly told me how to
find local and international publishers who would
relieve me from the financial burden. Indeed, he
promised to always supply me the necessary
information about the international do-gooders
whenever it was available to him!
Such attitude has been a fountain of inspiration and
encouragement to me to continue to write but also a
relief in knowing of an existing opportunity out there
that would undertake to publish my works without
further stress to me.
Meanwhile, I am developing enterpreneural skills
through my self-help efforts in the publishing industry
which are invaluable assets to me in other spheres of
business.

I Got Sponsors/Publishers!

When I was to publish the book “Family

Budgeting” in December, 2004, I sent the draft to my
nephew who voluntarily undertook to foot its printing
after being captivated by its contents. I owe him a
deep gratitude.
The same fate of happy circumstance befell the
publication of “Better Tomorrow”. I coincidentally
mentioned to a good family friend, Miss Osa, that the
book was the next in queue for publication while we
discussed “Family Budgeting”. Surprisingly, she
promptly offered to cosponsor its printing to the
232
whooping sum of N80,000. This money was released
to me approximately eight months before I actually
went to the press! I pray that her own dreams would
not die pre-maturely in Jesus' name!
Recently, I read in one of the issues of the Success
Digest Magazines, an opportunity for an electronic
publishing. As I write, the (on-line) publishers have
already accepted to publish “This Thing Called
Marriage” on-line! (I appreciate through this medium,
Mr. Sunny Ojeagbese' for his personal interest in the
project.) I am glad about all these developments!
Of course, chances are that this book (Better
Tomorrow) will be published on-line even before the
hard copies are out! That is my realisable target.

233
 Chapter 34

The Fundamental Differences

Between the First
And the Second
Editions of This Book
In the first place, it is remarkable that the first
edition of this book amounted to less than thirty per
cent of the current edition, which recounts the ups and
the downs of my life up to recently. The first edition
had accounted for the first 30 years of my life while
this covers almost up to my Golden Jubilee.
Interpretatively, if my experiences during the foundations of
my life reportedly transformed the dire life of a desperate reader
into approbative existence, then one could justifiably feel fulfilled
and expectant that one's life would remain a source of relief and
inspiration to other needy in the society!
This is not to ignore also the bridging of the great
gulf in skillful writing between my limitation evident in
the first edition and the more mature literary rendering
in the current one due to the professional touches
from ompetent editors, Deacon Andrew Masade and
Mr. Achor. The former (Andrew) gave the book the
final touch of professionalism, strength and authority it
carries and I appreciate him for that. The invaluable
contribution of Bode Ajayi who also proof-read this
book is hereby appreciated.
Of course the state of my general exposure in
matters of life was evident in the two periods and it

234
was reflected in my writing. I was young in such issues
as marriage, nuclear/extended family management,
child rearing or home economics in which I had
practised barely a few years when I wrote the first
edition but after two decades of marital exposure at
which point I had written the book “This Thing Called
Marriage”, I had to have a better offering!
That's why, as I stated before, my hopes are
palpably high about the feedback I would get from
concerned readers whose lives need a boost and a new,
happier direction or purpose.

235
 Chapter 35

God's
Faithfulness
I had challenged God as I stated earlier, to spare
my life, when death threatened, so that I might see the
results of my numerous examinations. He was indeed
kind to me towards the tail end of 1981 when the
results began to trickle in.
First, before the end of my second term in the
United Christian Secretarial College, I received the
result of the Pitman Shorthand Speed at 120wpm test
which I passed. Shortly thereafter, the result of the
exams with the Royal Society of Arts, London, in the
much-needed Office Practice Stage II was also
successful. From then on, it has been success after
success.
In summary, I passed virtually all the 39 subjects I
offered in the different examinations - that is, GCE,
RSA, Pitman and the final result in the United
Christian Secretarial College!
When I was leaving the United Christian
Secretarial College, I was the proud possessor of
Pitman 120 and 130w.a.m in Shorthand and the
College's Diploma. The following year, 1982, I made
RSA Shorthand speed at 140w.a.m, thus bringing my
Typing/Shorthand qualifications to 50/140 words a
minute.

236
 With these certificates, I returned to the
Manufacturers Association of Nigeria with gratitude to
its top Management (including Dr. Uma Oke Eleazu,
Mr. Tunji Olajide and Mr. Uzor Okeke (now late). I
was later promoted to the substantive position of a
Personal Secretary to the Executive Director, Dr.
Eleazu.
Apart from that promotion, thanks to both Mr.
Olajide who recommended it and Dr. Eleazu who
approved, I was granted a loan of N4,812 (four
thousand, eight hundred and twelve naira only) with
which I bought my first ever, a brand new Volkswagen
Beetle 1500cc car! That was on April 24th or so in the
year 1982. Let me add at this juncture, with gratitude
to Dr. Eleazu, that he was actually the person who
triggered off my interest to own a car at that time by
offering to sell to me cheaply, his own air-conditioned
504 car! I opted for a Volkswagen Beetle because I
was very particular about owning a new car.
Appealing as all these elevations might be to my
reader, I left the Manufacturers Association only barely
one year after. I could not stay longer, not only
because the opportunities to grow abounded
elsewhere, but perhaps because that was how God had
destined my sojourn in the Manufacturers Association
of Nigeria to be; indeed I had vowed that I was not
going to stay in one place for poverty to catch up with
me again!
As I was concerned with my own growth, so was I
deeply and emotionally committed to the progress of
my brother, Ajiboye and my sisters. My vision of
237
success embraced mine as well as those of the entire
family.
About six months before I purchased my car, my
brother, Ajiboye, had acquired a 14-seater Litehace
bus (thanks to Uncle Ayelabola's wife who made this
possible through her brother, Jide)on hire-purchase
terms. The bus made commercial runs within Ekiti-
land but touched Lagos once in a month strictly to
make installmental repayments as they fell due. The
vehicle cost N3,500 but it was given to Ajiboye for
N7,000 on the hire-purchase terms. Ajiboye had paid
about N3,000 out of the N7,000 when misfortune hit
him on the 12th day of March, 1982. The vehicle was
involved in a serious road accident which completely
wrecked it and led to its remnants being sold off as
scrap. Ajiboye narrowly escaped death in the accident.
He was a guest of the University Teaching Hospital,
Casualty Section, Ibadan for a long time!
As often happens in poor economic circumstance,
this catastrophe had a domino effect on our entire
family. I was particularly devastated, knowing that
Ajiboye would have to start life all over again. Things
had totally fallen apart for him.
While we regretted the loss of his vehicle, we were
thankful to God for sparing his dear life. Soon though,
we were celebrating the purchase of my own car, even
if under the shadow of mounting family debts. At the
time too, it was not very well with my two sisters
either. Fehintola, my eldest sister, had lost her
husband while in Julianah's case, she was neck-deep in
personal debts and scared of a looming public disgrace!
238
 What could have been my mother's joy was
instead dotted and soured with escalating debts she had
to help settle. The circumstance rather aged her, so
that she needed more medical care and sustenance, as
well as personal assurance. This development greatly
handicapped me, reducing my ability, not only to
operate at my spiritual best but to care for Mum as I
had vowed to do in my life. The situation also
affected, negatively, the welfare of my nuclear family.
But my faith remained firm in God Almighty whom I
believed would certainly turn the situation around for
good.

Uncertainty

When I was to leave the Manufacturers

Association of Nigeria, I had given a two-and-a-half
month notice of my intention. Throughout the period,
I applied to other establishments for employment.
One such opportunity which I narrowly missed was
being employed as a Personal Secretary to the then
Archbishop of the Lagos Arch-Diocese, Festus Segun
(since retired). I lost the opportunity, apparently
because God had something better in stock for me.
He therefore allowed Mummy, his wife, to oppose
my being employed on the pretext that my salary
was too much compared to what she earned when
she worked , with the then General Post Office!
By 1996 or so, my God of restoration
revisited the case and settled it in my favour through
Mummy's younger brother (Folarin) who became my
239
boss in a multi-national organization! Folarin, who
knew me from nowhere before, but moved by the
kind of unfairness meted to me by his boss (to
whom I too reported directly) before he took over
the mantle of leadership of the same Department,
fought my case for me as if he knew me ever
before. He it was who re-evaluated my job-
position, which led to an instant promotion on the
release of the evaluation report! Ironically, I did not
get to know that Mummy and Folarin were from
the same womb until I attended the funeral of
their late mother during which I saw Bishop
Festus Segun's Canopy. As I write, I have never
discussed it with Folarin! I was more concerned
with the amazing and miraculous power of God
to right whatever wrong is done to us if only we
leave everything in His hands!
Now, I appreciate the trio: God who ordered my
steps, controlled my temper and restored my
seeming loss in the biggest way possible; Mummy
Segun, for making it possible for me to reach my
destiny; her brother Folarin whom God has used
tremendously to attain the course of my destiny! In
spite of growing uncertainty of securing another job
before leaving M.A.N., I was always heartened by
reflecting on the last paragraph of Chief Akinyemi's
letter to me dated 24th April, 1984, which stated
inter alia.
“I send my sincere prayerful good wishes to you
and your family, and I trust that our Heavenly Father

240
will continue to plan, provide for and protect your
life's work and progress.”
I had hope! So I tried my hands on many
things thereafter, including an application to join the
Nigerian Navy, which failed. However, precisely two
weeks before the expiration of my tenure in M.A.N., I
secured a job as a Confidential Secretary with
Ogilvy Benson and Mather, an advertising
Company based in Yaba as earlier reported. My
immediate boss then was Ms. Tola Olujobi. This
timely occurrence confirmed to me that God was
still on my side as ever and that He would not
allow me to be put to shame.

241
 Chapter 36

Nigeria's
Contributions
To
My Achievements

Nigeria Is Good

God did not make a mistake when He, in His

infinite wisdom, decided to create me to be a Nigerian.
He has, in His perfect wisdom, decided to place me in
a country THAT CAN NEVER GO BANKRUPT!
When I was much younger, one major fear I had
was the fact that Nigeria might go bankrupt if crude
oil, the seemingly only mainstay of the economy, went
dry. When I saw the volume of human and material
and natural resources God has deposited in the
geographical entity called Nigeria, I have since come to
realize that this country can never go bankrupt even if
the oil dries up. Nigeria has all it takes not only to
make the lives of its citizens abundant but the
wherewithal to hold the rest of the world to ransom!
Whatever I may pray for, for Nigeria, I do not want
her present geographical composition to be altered in
whatever form! My reason is simply that Nigeria
should be viewed or seen in the same awesome way
planet earth is regarded! So I urge those agitating for
her breakup to realise that such occurrence will do
more harm than good. It is this enviable country that
242
God decided to make my birth-place, a land-mass
literally flowing with milk and honey!

Our Leadership Is the Problem

What Nigeria lacks is a positive, vision-driven,

purposeful and selfless leadership. Nothing more. We
had a taste of the ideal type of leadership in the defunct
Western Region of Nigeria under the able Premiership
of the Late Chief Obafemi Awolowo whose legacy in
that part of the country endures, never to be forgotten
in the foreseeable future.
However, the current state of the nation is very
sad, whereby the majority of her citizens are labouring
under unbearable living conditions. The leadership
has been so far from reality that many good dreams
have died at conception and others at different stages
of their execution, not because they were
simultaneously unrealizable but because of a tentative,
careless and infact hostile leadership.
.
How The Leadership Destroys the Fellowership

There are basic and inalienable requirements for

life. They include food, shelter, education and good
health. When a country's leadership fails to enunciate
and pursue such objectives or a visible blue-print for
political, social and economic well-being of the
citizenry, then there's discontent, the spunning of a
prevalent anti-social underclass together with its
environment and a consequent state of anomie.
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Indeed, people are shaped mostly by nature and
nurture. Nobody is born evil but when he's
surrounded by neglect and a state of hopelessness, he
becomes an easy prey to undesirable tendencies. Such
is the fertile soil of violent revolution!

How They Affected My Life

In such a situation, my expectations of Nigeria for

my smooth development were pure fantasy and
disillusionment. The situation has persisted in one
form or another up till now. I am deeply hurt that
Nigeria hasn't broken from this circle of bad
leadership. I am aggrieved that my children and their
peers are still surrounded by this dark cloud of misrule
and lack of social engineering. It is vexatious because
my children and their kind have what it takes to make
good. Why is it impossible for the Nigerian leaderhip
to be organised and focused? Why can't they provide
the basic social infrastructure for development in the
midst of our abundant human and natural resources?
Why can't we have adequate schools (at all levels),
electricity,, housing, a manageable health system, social
security, etc. - amenities that are taken for granted, like
the air in other countries?
That's why I stated at the beginning of this book
that if I had had a choice, I might have wished to be
born in a more developed, organised and civilised
country, where leadership valued their people's lives, a
country where the innate capacity of its people was
encouraged to blossom.
244
 It hurts the more now to remember my
continuous ordeal in trying to live as a factory worker,
as well as a student, without electric light with which to
study. It was daunting, inhibiting, frustrating and
dispiriting, and I was sorely tempted to cave in. My
survival is simply vested in God who had pre-destined
me for recognition through achievement in life.
Otherwise, the alternative would have been very
devastating all-round! One Reginald Ibe rightly
captured my perception in one of his write-ups when
he said, and I quote:

“The challenges of those times still stand unassailed by

the nation. The problems which those powered
seminars, symposia, studies and lectures addressed
have only increased, worsened, or mutilated”

For instance, I jubilated when the Open University

system was first introduced by the University of Abuja
in the early 1980's although my joy was shortlived
when it was scrapped later by the 1984/85
Buhari/Idiagbon military junta without just cause. It is
gladdening to see that the programme has not only
been restored with an initiative from a democratic
Federal Government of Nigeria led by President
Obasanjo but the same Government has actively taken
the necessary steps to democratise the educational
space in the country to a greater level by approving
more private Universities. But for such initiative, my
own children, like others, would suffer the same fate
that I, their father and many other parents alike, had
245
endured and they would have inherited a legacy of
disaster! As at 2004 there has been the reported case
of over 640,000 students who wrote the Joint
Admissions and Matriculation Board's examination but
without the prospect of gaining admission into
Universities. It is also sad that Universities have had to
combine two years JAMB results to clear the backlog
of admissions arising from incessant university
teachers' strikes that had scuttled the opportunities of
qualified students in the preceeding years.
However, another wonderful development, is the
current requirement on re-screening students to
eliminate cheating in JAMB examinations before
admission into the University! This is a step in the
right direction. It is an opportunity for the so-called
high flyers emanating severally from JAMB's “special
centers” to prove their mettle. It is equally an
opportunity for proper students to prove their worth
because in my honest opinion, I do not expect many
unaided but brillant students to be able to score more
than between 190 and 250 marks in JAMB exams!
The monopolistic position of JAMB has made it
prone to inefficiency through unwieldiness. This
development has jeopardised the fortunes of otherwise
brilliant students to go to higher insititutions. The
unwholesome situation has enabled some
unscrupulous parents to negatively influence some
JAMB officials to help their dull wards score
undeserving high marks in JAMB examinations.
The obvious inefficiency of JAMB has manifested
in the scandalous distortion of examination time-tables
246
whereby, often, students slated to write their
examinations , say, at 9 a.m. do so instead at 3 p.m.with
repercurssions.
At the end of the day, students who actually worked
hard to score well suffer the cancellation or
withholding of their papers by the same JAMB on the
untenable pretext that such students had cheated! My
innocent children were victims of such examination
cancellations but, thank God, they have since been
doing well in their respective Universities after
surmounting JAMB's problems!
As a co-suffering parent, I have been frustrated
with the prevalent lack of leadership generally in
Nigeria and the seemingly unconscionable
mistreatment of the citizenry, even in this 21st century.
During the editing of this book, (3rd week of March,
2005), the news broke that the Education Minister and
the Senate President had lost their positions due to
their involvement in a N55m bribery scandal to pass
the annual budget on Education!
If a Minister of Education, at that, had to pay a bribe
before his budget could be passed, then there can be
no basis for national integrity - a situation that has bred
what has been shamelessly tagged “The Nigerian
Factor”. Besides, would such a Minister be able to
morally address a serious issue as examination mal-
practice in his jaundiced or flawed perspective? What
stops him then from diverting the funds, when
released, to other uses other than the education sector?
What chances are there of an honest cabinet or for
concerted national development? In this seeming
247
stench of corruption, what fate befalls university
teachers and their expectations or agitations?
Unless something radical or drastic happens, there will
be no end to strikes and shut-downs in our tertiary
insititutions.
However, we pray for sustained progress and that the
scepter of bad leadership in public (and private)
institutions will be eliminated altogether.

But My Vision Lingers

As it has been my practice, I have set aside the

failings of Nigeria's leadership to concentrate on
bettering my lot. I have therefore refused to allow my
vision of a better tomorrow to die. I have always
fought the good fight. I abhor the stories that failures
engender. I know that I am destined to win and, by God's
grace, nothing short of that destination would be mine! I am
ready to literally turn stone to bread. I am prepared to dig to hit
gold in the depths. That was why, at a stage of my life, I had to
ignore every expectations from Government; so, too, with my
brothers, sisters, or relatives for any assistance. I have relied
solely on God whom alone I have trusted to take my
destiny in my own hands. As I paddled my own canoe
- East, West, North or South - God has not failed to
send my way those whom He uses to fulfil my life!
So, having attained the highest promotional
opportunities in the Secretarial line, and still feeling
that I was not where God ordained for me, I began to
consider how to get to the 'promised land'.

248
 Chapter 37

A New Career
Vision Emerged
“My immediate concern now is
To make a choice
Between being a "lake"
And a "flowing river"

The above statement, which I wrote myself

sometime in early 1984, summarised my mood as I
contemplated a career change then.
At a point in my secretarial career, it was clear to me that I
needed to chart a new course that would be a fully absorbing,
sufficient and satisfactory engagement for life till retirement. I
realised that I could only give my present occupation ten or a
maximum of fifteen years post-qualification experience. I was
late to decide on the career change, almost eight years in the
secretarial profession just before I enrolled with the Institute of
Personnel Management of Nigeria (now Chartered). It was clear
then that my secretarial profession offered me virtually no new
challenges any more. All prospects had been achieved and
utilized.
My best career prospect was in reading Law but I
was then not in a position to pursue it. One of the two
other options was being a Reporter at the nation's
National Assembly, the qualification of which I
possessed but, again, the prospect was vitiated by the
fact of the existing military interregnum which blotted
any hope of the early emergence of civil rule by which

249
there could be a People's Assembly. The last
alternative was being an expert Human Resource(s)
practitioner- a profession I loved because one way or
the other, it has to do with solving people's problems. I
particularly love the industrial relations aspect because
it blends with my desire to know much about people's
rights in the workplace.
I have always admired and regarded Lawyers as
wise people with poise, who have a good command of
the English Language. They epitomised my ideal
society wherein justice and fairplay prevailed. I hate
cheating. Such feeling had underlined my earlier
involvement in active student unionism while in the
Secretarial School and, even much later, when I had the
opportunity of working for another organisation as an
active member of the Senior Staff Association. I do
believe that unions should see themselves as partners
in progress in an organisation but not equals with their
employers. I believe that only facts, no longer might,
should be relevant in the process of collective
bargaining. Beyond that, if any employer was
recalcintrant and reluctant to accept irrebuttable
evidence laid before it, then labour was free to employ
all the legal provisions available to improve the lot of
the workforce. Likewise, if an organisation's position
was transparent enough, it would be foolhardy and
irresponsible for union officials to instigate a strike
action.
My experiences in students and trade unionism
have, however, shown, most often, the phenomenon
of power play and politics because of selfishness on the
250
part of some leaders. For the same reasons,
unfortunately, this politics and powerplay is not even
excluded in some houses of God! Nobody seems to
recognize that God can do anything for him or her.
Rather manipulations are the order of the day. There
will be shockers in heaven!
Another consideration for change was so that
whenever I left paid employment, I could transit easily
to the chosen career seamlessly as my own employer.
Since the opportunity to read law appeared not to be
immediately feasible then, I opted to enrol with the
Institute of Personnel Management of Nigeria where I
passed all their three-stage examinations to become a
certified HR expert. Again, to be on the side of the
people, I specialised in the Industrial Relations aspect
of the practice. My thesis was titled “The Effect of
Government Intervention in Trade Unionism in
Nigeria…” using a multinational organisation as a case
study. About the time I was completing the IPM's
training, I still felt thirsty to read law.
To keep the hope alive, I therefore first enrolled
for the Diploma in Law programme in the 1990/91
session at the Lagos State University where I went on
thereafter to complete a six-year course for the LL.B
(Hons.) Degree in Law and the Bar examinations at the
Nigerian Law School. My experience at the University
was rather long and turbulent for the reasons to be
explained shortly.

251
 Chapter 38

My Sojourn
At The University
A Taste Of The Law

As mentioned earlier, my initial experience in the

terrace of the “Learned Gentlemen's” profession
started with my admission as a pioneering student of
the Evening Law Diploma course of the Lagos State
University (LASU) in the 1990/91 academic session.
The course was to last two years but unfortunately, it
took over 3 years for me to have a “smell”, not yet a
taste of the pudding that I had longed for all my life!

My Joy

I was joyful, even for that stage or level of the

profession although I would have been more fulfilled if
I had got a direct entry to read for the degree. At this
juncture, I must thank Engineer Adeoye Yilu for all he
did to secure my admission.

My Frustrations

Although the course was very interesting but I was

handicapped and frustrated in two ways: first, I always
arrived at lectures mid-way, a failing I could do nothing
about. This was because the traffic situation made it
impossible for me to get to LASU at 5pm when
252
lectures began. As a result, I got to lectures late at
between 15 and 30 minutes every day.
Secondly, the school calendar was uncertain due to
unending crises and shutdowns, which characterized
the Nigerian academic experience. One only knew
one's admission date, but not graduation day! LASU
was particularly notorious for its multi-dimensional
problems. One day, the crisis would be the students
calling for the head of the Vice-Chancellor; next day, it
would be the entire university staff going on an
inexplicable strike. Otherwise it would be the students
engaged in a senseless self-immolation by butchering
themselves over disagreements in their various
memberships of certain cults that seek to regulate
student-academic staff relationship. Once, I saw a
casket unaccountably placed right in the premises of
the chapel in the campus. Even when lectures were
going on, there could be eruptions! So what one
always searched for or ascertained was an escape route
in such eventualities. Compounding these experiences
was the epileptic electric power supply, which
guaranteed more malfeasance in darkness than mere
inactivity. In this chaotic situation, the University got
shut down many times for general safety. These were
the harsh conditions under which an already tired but
ambitious worker-student like me had to study after
each day's hard work. So it was not particularly
surprising that at the end of the diploma programme, I
had a reference in one subject.

253
I Meet Mr. Fagbohun

The reference, which I recorded in Commercial

Law, fortuitously brought me into a face-to-face
meeting with one of our lecturers, Mr. Lanre
Fagbohun. He later turned out to be, in my academic
world, what Mrs. Ogun had been to me years back at
work, as I earlier acknowledged.
Mr. Fagbohun was a lecturer per excellence in
Commercial law. He continually warned students about
the risk of not attending his lectures promptly and
regularly, as it would result in failure, no matter how
brilliant a student might be academically. His sole aim
was to get every student to have a thorough
understanding of his subject, rather than engage vainly
in wasteful academic voyages. He would prefer that a
student listened attentively to his teaching than
submerge in note taking or stenography. He stressed
that once a student understood a subject during
lectures, it would enable him to do further reading on
his or her own to expand his or her knowledge.
Otherwise, rummaging through volumes of books in
further research without basic understanding would
only lead to confusion instead of wisdom. His lecture
method was like a seminar whereby students were
guided from a layman's understanding of the issues of
law to the practical level of a professional using
everyday experiences or examples. Thereafter,
students were encouraged and inspired to do more
personal research later for a wholistic inculcation and
understanding of the subject. For his strictness,
254
students feared Mr. Fagbohun because they could not
escape him as Commercial Law was a core, compulsory
subject. His regulation about regular attendance at
lectures had proved practically fatal in my own case
because I could never successfully navigate the
constant 35-kilometre traffic jam between my office
after the day's hard work and the lecture theatre. So I
always missed the opening parts of lectures and no
amount of note-reading afterwards could save me from
recording a reference in the subject. That was why I
had to approach him for guidance as I prepared for my
re-sit.
What amazed me was the very warm welcome he
accorded me. He made me feel familiar and at home.
That attitude won me over. Mr. Fagbohun counseled
me extensively and he showed me some very key areas
of the subject, which every student must master. I
followed his instructions diligently. Fortunately for me
too, I came across some very useful question and
answer books on Law Relating to Banking written by
Femi Adekanye, in my wife's library. I also came by
other relevant question/answer books on the Law of
Agency, Partnership, etc., by which I mastered the
different types of agencies and their relationship to
their principals. As a result, my next re-sit was a
foregone conclusion and I left LASU a successful law
diploma holder!
Thereafter, for a long while, until the publication
of LASU Part-time (Evening) Law Degree programme,
I stayed clear of both the University and Mr. Fagbohun
whom I would probably not have recognized or he my
255
face, if we had come across one another during the
period.

Admission to the LL.B Degree Programme

Seeing that I was qualified, I went on to submit

the necessary admission form for consideration. I was
then invited for an oral interview which I attended. By
my nature, I do not like lobbying for anything in life
nor do I also like being pressurized into doing my duty.
So, initially I did nothing to follow up my application
as others were said to be doing.
I waited patiently but there was no response. So I went to
LASU one day to check if the admissions-list had been released.
There was no such notice on the board. I then decided to return
to my office.
On the way to my car, I saw Mr. Fagbohun afar off in the
opposite direction. Being naturally a shy person I thought of
dodging him. Since I was the only one who recognized him, I
could have just walked past him but, again, something persuaded
me to greet him, and I did. Mr. Fagbohun, in his usual
pleasant manner, responded politely but he wanted to know
where we had met before. I then introduced myself and he
embraced me! He asked me in Yoruba: “Ewo le tun wa se ni bi
o?” (meaning what again have you come to do here?). I
responded “Eyin le tun pe wa o” (It's you that invited us again).
“To come and do what?” Mr. Fagbohun asked.
I responded: “To read law at the degree level”.
“Lagbara Olorun a work out o”, he said (meaning by God's
grace, it will work out in your favour).

256
 We parted ways but, for sometime again, I never
bothered to go to LASU although I kept abreast of
events until the admissions list was published. When I
learnt that the first admission list was published and
my name was not there, I was consoled that another
list would soon be out so I had to exercise some
patience.
The second list was out but my name was missing
from it too. Worried, I went to LASU several times to
consult the then Law Faculty Co-ordinator, Prof. Mike
Ikhariale. He assured me that I would be contacted if I
was admitted. As a professional HR Practitioner, I
understood that such statements lacked merit.
Then I decided to see Mr. Fagbohun for
assistance. He was very solicitous and assured me that
by God's grace, things would work out in my favour.
He advised me to leave matters in his hands. Indeed
he later secured my admission. That's why I will
forever be grateful to him and his friend, Mr. Mustapha
, for all they did for me without any strings attached. I
consider it a divine favour of the Almighty God!
Mr. Fagbohun's goodness to me did not end there.
In the course of the degree programme, he did not
spare himself to assist me. I remember the period
when I had difficulty making sense out of the Law of
Evidence despite the excellence of my wonderful
lecturer on the subject, Mr. Collins Enesha. Mr.
Fagbohun had to sit me down in his office for over an
hour to review the subject with me in its totality. It
was such patient tutoring that enabled me to assimilate
the subject and fully understand what the statement
257
“the fact-in-issue” meant in the legal sense. Initially it
was very confusing to me.
Again, his organisation of an international seminar
on Environmental Law in 1997 opened yet another
chapter in my life as it was the first time, as a
participant in that conference, that I became fully
exposed to the environmental complexity or in
particular, the general legal aspects of it. This
awareness and experience led to my choosing to write
my final research project on it with Mr. Fagbohun as
my Supervisor. My experience with him as my
supervisor again proved to me how thorough Mr.
Fagbohun was in scholarship. We had to brush aside
any form of closeness we ever had during the exercise.
I was thoroughly drilled and made to know my onions
before my script was accepted. And the day he finally
approved my project was like the day a long-time
prisoner is granted a presidential pardon! I fully
appreciate him for it.

The Other People I Will Never Forget In LASU

They were lecturers who lectured conscientiously.

They were timely and concerned about students
understanding their lectures. They gave us notes
without extorting payment. They encouraged and held
tutorials and, if a student so desired, they made
themselves available for their clarifications on all issues
until the student was satisfied. They were frank with
students and emphasized the canons of law that must
be thoroughly mastered in their general knowledge of
258
the law. They discouraged and frowned on
examination mal-practices and punished it severely
whenever it occurred. They encouraged students to
study together in groups to discuss their lessons and so
kept us on our toes in a transparent and loving manner.

Who are these lecturers?

At the Diploma level, I am proud to identify

Professor Funsho Adaramola and Late Professor
Ogan. They jointly taught us legal theory and the
philosophy of law. Mr. Adegoroye took us on
Introduction to Law or Administrative Law. Mrs.
(now) Professor Aluko handled the Nigerian Legal
System while Mr. Solanke, the first Evening Law
Diploma Co-ordinator, taught us Criminal Law. Mr.
Babatunde taught Legal Methods while Mr. Taiwo
Ajala and Mr. (now) Professor I. O. Smith taught us
Land Law. Messrs Soroye and Emiri jointly taught us
Civil Procedure. Mr., (now Professor) Owasanoye,
took us on Contract while Messrs. Fagbohun and
Salami took us in Commercial Law alternately. Mr.,
(now Professor) Ikhariale did justice to Constitutional
Law at the degree level.
On the forefront at the degree level was Mr. A.D.
Badaiki, the untiring Criminal Law Lecturer, followed
by Professor Mike Ikhariale as aforementioned. He
taught us so much one day that he concluded his
lecture by reiterating emphatically “ I profess nothing
but the law”.

259
Our Computer Lecturer (name I cannot recollect at the
time of writing) was a very thorough man. Mr. Fakoya
took us in The Use of English. The easy-going lady,
Mrs. Adesanya (who later became a Judge of the Lagos
High Court) did Contract.
The famous “Mama Susu” who taught us on the
Law of Torts will be remembered for her constant
exhortation, “you all matriculated together but don't
necessarily have to graduate together. I want to
produce lawyers who would be able to stand boldly
before renowned legal luminaries wherever they go. If
you scored my 1.0, you will surely be able to do that.
Once you are able to scale my subject and Professor
Smith's Land Law, you are rest assured that you have
graduated from LASU”. Indeed our final results
showed that she meant every word she uttered because
a considerable number of students had carryovers and
some eventually only passed her paper in their final
year! As for me however, I took her words as a big
challenge. Thank God I escaped her stricture. I am
not aware that anybody in the history of LASU Law
Faculty had ever recorded more than a 3.0 in her Law
of Torts, up to my own time. It might happen some
day, before she retires but that will surely be a
Herculean task because the Mama Susu that I knew
was rather very uncompromising!
However, except for the low volume of her tone,
lecturing was down-to-earth and as exciting as it was
interesting.
Professor I.O. Smith, popularly known as “1.0
Smith”, because he marked many students 1.0 in his
260
subject, as aforementioned, handled Land Law. He
taught clearly and was a very punctual and regular
lecturer. His explicatory skills were fully demonstrated
in his two books, namely, “Land Law In Nigeria” and
“Practical Approach to Land Law in Nigeria” . They
teach Land Law from elementary level to the most
professional standard, providing all the tools required
to make the best out of the subject. The main
difference between the two books is that every word in
the smaller book, “Land Law in Nigeria” is very
pregnant while the second book “Practical Approach
to Land Law in Nigeria” is not only very detailed, it
ensures that all the foetuses in the smaller book are
safely delivered, thereby leaving no room for
speculation or darkness about land law in Nigeria.
As complex and fundamental as Land Law is,
Prof. Smith could award a 5.0 (the maximum score) if a
student merited it. Land Law turned out to be one of
my best subjects although in the first semester exam, I
recorded a zero in it! This happened to me not
because I did not prepare well but simply because I
missed the part (a) of a question in the exam so that all
my subsequent answers to (b), (c) and (d) parts were
all adversely and terminally affected. That was the
peculiarity of Prof. Smith for you. Whenever he sets
his questions, your answer to the first part may earn
you his full marks or a zero. So you needed to analyse
a question fully before ever attempting to write your
answer; otherwise, you would be fatally destablised in
all the rest. To him, it was simply a make or lose affair.
For this reason, he warned students to, in their own
261
interests, steer clear of his essay questions because he
was very difficult to please thereon. So if a student was
foolhardy enough to plunge into such an area,
whatever the result was, he or she was on his or her
own.
Now comes my able, Law of Evidence lecturer,
Mr. Collins Enesha. Though comparatively young, he
measured up to the likes of Prof. Smith, both in his
delivery and marking. He took the trouble to ensure
that students understood him but warned regularly
thus: “Even when you take the horse to the stream, it
may refuse to drink. Some people destined to fail will
fail, no matter what a lecturer does to encourage him
or her to succeed, because he or she will not give it the
seriousness it deserves to pass. To such students,
when the chips are down, I owe no apologies. Before
the exams, I will do all within my capacity to lecture
very well and I will encourage students to come for
clarifications on aspects they don't understand but
once the exams have been written and you refuse to
cross River Jordan, your result shall be your result. I
will read everything, including your punctuations, so
that I will satisfy myself that I did what is right”.
To me, Collins had been a natural and gifted lecturer.

Mr. Emiri lectured on the Law of Equity and

Trust and he was full of what it took to deliver the
goods to his students.
Prof. M. Adediran, all the way from Obafemi
Awolowo University, Ile Ife, is an authority in
Administrative Law. The least notes I ever took on
262
any lecture he delivered covered 25 pages of tiny hand-
writing! Although he was commuting from Ile Ife, yet
he got to the lecture room as early as one who resided
in Lagos. Until your wrist began to ache, you did not
always realize that you had been writing for a long time
because he interspersed his lectures with rib-cracking
jokes that eased the tension in you. Whenever he
noticed general tiredness, he would say, “jeje ni loo wa,
too ni o fe di loya, maa ko we nsoo” meaning, “the law
is on its own. It is you who decided to become a
Lawyer. Therefore keep on writing!” or “Come to my
“Iyan foworog” village. He kept repeating such
statements until one day he explained how he came
about his “Iyan foworogi” joke (details of which I have
now forgotten). But he told us of the 'niche' that that
statement carved for him amongst his students. He
told us of a student whom he had lectured at Obafemi
Awolowo University, then the University of Ife. One
day, as he drove by, the student saw him afar off. She
wanted to greet him but apparently did not remember
his proper names. She then resorted to calling out his
slogan “iyan foworogi”, (meaning pounded yams
hanging on a tree”! With that quip, he immediately
remembered that she must be one of his old students!
Every female in our class he addressed as “young
lady” or “baby”, and that is where I learnt to call every
lady “baby” till today. I soon discovered the
winsomeness of such words. They engender affection
and make communication and interpersonal
relationship more informal, thereby promoting
friendliness. Some lecturers were not snobs (talking
263
down to you) but human beings who had conscience
and displayed love and affection both for their subjects
and their students. Prof. Adediran was such a man.
Mr. Kelani was not new to me. He was in his final
year for a law degree when I was in the diploma level.
He became my tutorial lecturer. Thereafter, I had
admired him as a promising and talented lecturer. At
my 400 level at which he taught Islamic Law, because
of a research-oriented mind to know something about
Islam, I had to offer it even though it had meant
exceeding the number of subjects allowed. I did this
for some reasons. Apart from trusting Kelani's skill as
a lecturer, I, as a Christian, was aware of the see-sawing
criticisms between Christian and Islamic adherents. I
wanted to know the basic differences between the two
religions. After all, the Bible admonishes Christians to
“search for the truth”, moreso as Hosea 4:6 states: “My
people perish from lack of knowledge”. Besides, there
is the popular saying that “knowledge is power”. So, in
search of knowledge and wisdom so that I would not
criticize people unnecessarily out of ignorance, I seized
the opportunity to know something about Islam.
Mr. Kelani lived up to his billing as he gave his
total being to his deliveries as a lecturer. He was
friendly with virtually all his students but hated any
form of distraction whenever he was lecturing. Intrude
on this golden rule and see his temperament at work!
Even as an Islamic adherent, he taught us with an open
mind and religious controversy was not stirred.
Mr. Ajala was a very brilliant and firm lecturer in
Conveyancing. He had taught me in Land Law at the
264
diploma level and whenever, out of inquisitiveness, we
asked practical questions on Real Property Law, he
would jokingly reply, “come to my chambers; what will
be left for me to practise if I give you all the knowledge
at this stage?” However, I did not attend his lectures
beyond the first semester because I had chosen
another very fascinating subject, Environmental Law,
for my final project write-up. Nevertheless, I did enjoy
every bit of his lectures for the short duration I
attended them.
Mr. Ajala was a hard task-master who required us
to use our overall residual knowledge in all the other
law subjects to make revision and ensure our mastery
of every aspect of Conveyancing because the subject
could not be studied in isolation.
Conveyancing was therefore not a light subject at
all!. The manner of Mr. Ajala's teaching eased students
through any toughness that arose. As a result, only
two categories of students ever failed his subject: those
who were unsettled due to illness or other domestic
problems during examination or students who foolishly
took the study of Conveyancing too lightly.
I got close to Mr. Ajala through my wife whom he
met at the bank where she worked as a Cashier. When
he saw her name tag which bore Omogboyega, he
recollected that there was a name like that amongst his
students (though he could not place me then). He
decided to ask if she was related to me. Mary answered
in the affirmative and that I was her husband. This
incidental introduction brought us together, after we
eventually met during one of his lectures.
265
 This closeness enabled me assess him deeper both
in his private and official capacities. At that time, he
had become our Co-ordinator. Some earlier
developments had made us to misunderstand him.
First, it was during his tenure that our fees were jerked
up from N20,000 to N30,000. When we complained,
all he promised was that it would not go beyond that
amount till we graduated. This singular action created
ill-feeling between him and us. However, he showed
us unusual empathy in his recognising that having paid
so much money as executive students, we ought to
enjoy more comfort. To remedy our jeopardy and
seeming short-changing, he did work on the idea of
moving our lecture venue out of the Campus to
another place where our lectures would go on more
comfortably. He tried his best to bring about an all-
round improvement in the department to justify the
increase in our school fees. Despite these overtures
that he loved us, we never appreciated his efforts until
after he had relinquished his position to someone else
whose tenure was clearly worse.
Mr. Ajala also hated laziness and so he deliberately
over-worked his students so that, at the worst, they
were left with a sufficient residue of knowledge that
would stand them in good stead anytime, anywhere.
This grooming we appreciated, for which we regarded
him as a good person. He was also approachable, if
one really had a genuine concern!
Fortunately, LASU enjoyed virtually an
uninterrupted academic calendar from the 1995/96
session till we graduated in the 2000/2001 academic
266
session. We never lost anything in time! This was a
record in my 11-year interaction in the University!

Prof. Ogan (Now Late)

He was a methodical, sure-footed Lecturer who,

too, didn't like to be interrupted while lecturing until he
was satisfied he had delivered whatever was required.
His notes were highly technical but his delivery was
very simple. May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace.

Prof. Adaramola

He was a popular, easy-going and fluent speaker

of the English Language who cut a father-figure with
the students. His book “Basic Jurisprudence”, is a
master-piece on the subject and loved by students.
Though small in size, the book was rich with the
necessary knowledge which only very studious minds
internalized appropriately. And his lecture delivery
style was superb!

Mr. Odum

He taught me Labour Law. Having had a good,

practical acquaintance with this aspect of the law
during my professional encounters at the Chattered
Institute of Personnel Management of Nigeria, I could
clearly appreciate the richness of Mr. Odum's offerings.
He was a very kind lecturer who required students to
be attentive to their studies as he always warned during
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lecture “you had better understand it now or ask me
questions before the alarm blows”!

Mr. Sofowora

The Author of “Business Law in Nigeria”, his

interations with me occurred during revision classes for
my re-take of the Law of Business Association. As a
Christian, Mr. Sofowora was conscientious and he
carried everybody in his class along. He was very
concerned with creating the right ambience to enable
students understand and master his subject. This
attitude made him a friend rather than a Lecturer of
students who tried never to betray him.

Dr. Iysa Bello.

He too taught me in Islamic Law. He was a very

humble gentleman and highly explicit. Even though
most of the students were Christians, his conduct
overshadowed or precluded any differences. He was a
good example of what Islam preaches - humility,
moderation and peace.

Mrs. Ipaye

She took us in Family Law as well as Law of

Succession. She was highly dedicated and thorough as
she proffered refreshing insights in her areas of
specialization. It was a loss to miss any part of her
lectures.
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Mrs. Adesanya

She taught us Contract, I & II. Easy-going and

friendly, her soft spokenness was such that one hardly
realized when she had covered much ground at any
point in time. She was very thorough in breaking
down the Law of Contract into common
understanding and in a clear language, the volume
notwithstanding!
There were other Lecturers who did their bits, and
I appreciate them all.

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 Chapter 39

A God-Sent Driver
During my 400 level at LASU, it became obvious
that I had not been kind to my body by the excessive
daily driving exercise I undertook and endured. This
soon manifested itself with excruciating pains around
my waist, and a more concentrated pain on the left
side of my stomach. This spread to my spine and it
became very unbearable. I went for various medical
check-ups and the area around my spine, waist and my
tommy was x-rayed and even scanned. The first
examination of the x-ray revealed that there was a
slight bending of my spine, especially on the left side. I
attributed this to my excessive clutching while driving
and the fact that the seat of my Datsun car was
uncomfortably bevelled and I had tried to correct its
positioning a number of times. I was treated and the
pain subsided then. However, shortly thereafter, the
pain resurfaced, usually after some driving. On the
average, I covered approximately 110km every day and
60km every Saturday or Sunday. The distance might
not have been the problem, but the constant traffic
gridlock which was stressful to health.
Finally, I had to engage the services of a
professional driver! My experience with the first driver
was however unsettling. He was uncouth and a victim
of his domestic problems, which made him to lose
concentration even at top speed! He finally gave me an
unpalatable 'present' one of my birthdays, July 22nd,

270
when he woke me rudely from a tired sleep after the
day's work as he battled with the car, zigzaggedly
toward the concrete divide at the Anthony Bridge
apron along the Gbagada-Oshodi Expressway. Before
I could comprehend fully our dangerous situation, he
had lost total control and the car hit the culvert with a
crunchy dive, thereby exploding one of the front tyres
of my Mercedez Benz 230 car before, mercifully, we
came to a jolting halt! That accident effectively ended
my employer-employee contract with the driver.
Then I reverted to driving myself but soon my
backache returned more painfully than before. Yet I
was afraid of engaging another driver and foolhardily
kept on managing to do so to the detriment of my
health.
But my suffering fortuitously ended when I had to
go to my hometown on a week-end to attend my
younger brother's wedding. For the distance, I had to
engage, on an ad hoc basis, someone (this time, one
Mr. Mukaila) who was himself jobless at the time. He
drove excellently and safely throughout the period.
Impressed with his overall manner, I asked him about
his antecedents and he confirmed that he had just been
released from a contract employment with an oil
company for which he had worked several years. I
then informed him that if he was willing to accept my
offer (which would surely not be as high as his
previous earning), I was prepared to employ him
permanently. He agreed and became my driver, a
relationship which covered three crucial years of my
life.
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 On joining us, Mr. Mukaila - a 55 year old man, a
highly disciplined Muslim and a lover of children, not
given to laziness - worked with me so well that he
eventually became a member of my family. I trusted
him with my children to anywhere. He was a good
family man who did all within his capacity to train his
own children. He never looked at his watch once he
started his work and his driving was smooth and
consistently safety-conscious. I was so impressed that
within the three years he worked with me, I had
doubled his starting salary through gradual increments.
He made my life easy for the rest of my academic
pursuit, during extensive night driving and at week-
ends. My children, my wife, everybody in my
household, loved him very much.
Another unique thing about Mr. Mukaila was the
fact that he did not have the bad habit of frequently
requesting for salary advance! He was contented with
what he earned and managed it reasonably well.
Fortunately for him, at the beginning of his fourth
year with me, he secured a better appointment and had
to leave us. Even after he left, he was very active in
trying to source for a good replacement for himself. I
appreciate this good man, especially for the peace he
gave me throughout that turbulent period during which
an upset was capable of tearing me apart, healthwise.

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 Chapter 40

My Experiences
As A Student-Worker
Working and studying at the same time brought
me many challenges, such that I had to live strictly - a
lifestyle that curtailed my relationships within my
nuclear and extended families as well as my social and
spiritual activities.
It affected my friendships and impacted, adversely,
on my health - indeed my total being. This state of
existence had its good and bad sides. On the one
hand, I gained intellectual improvement as a good
human capital for the employment market. I was
exposed to the latest technological developments that
made life much easier for me: e.g, access to palm-tops,
mobile phones, laptops and other gadgets that made
the achievement of several goals feasible
simultaneously. (This explains my attachment to such
gadgets even as I write this book!) They made life easy
for me. For instance, with my Psion's Series 3a & 5, I
was able to continue with my various presentations -
typing, excel sheets etc - outside office hours, and
wherever I was in the car, the airplane, in public
transport, in the toilet, on my bed, etc, etc. Also the
fact that these gadgets were operated on ordinary
batteries eliminated the need for dependence on
electricity, which was more predictable in terms of
supplying darkness than light. All I needed to do was

273
to download the stuff from my main computer to the
palm tops and continue my work outside the office.
The next morning, I would download the updated
version back to the computer and then produce the
final copy, ready for submission to my boss. This way,
I did not suffer any set-back in my official capacity.
Neither did my academic aspect suffer too. My first
set of Multilinks land phone cost me N171,000 (one
hundred and seventy one thousand naira) while the
mobile one cost me N151,000 (One hundred and fifty
one thousand naira only): both purchased on a credit
basis. I did not mind these seemingly exorbitant prices
then, because I needed to communicate, if need be, 24
hours daily. Because of the need to enjoy latitude, I
migrated to the use of the Thuraya phone sets but only
to discover that, because they charged in dollars, I
could not sustain its use. Thank God for the
introduction of GSM phones, which have today
plugged virtually all the avenues the older phone
companies employed to thoroughly exploit Nigerians.
The way I was able to manage my busy
circumstance of a working-student gave exemplary
leadership to my entire household, so much so that a
reading culture was fostered among my wife, children,
nieces, nephews and other dependants. As I said
earlier, my wife and I graduated the same year,
2000/2001 academic session - she, in Accountancy and
I, in Law. The same year one of our children, passed
out of Secondary School with flying colours. Beside
winning the top prizes in five core science subjects and
also the prize for the best-behaved boy in his set, he
274
had been the School's Prefect. The following year,
his younger brother, performed similarly very well. He
too won the best prizes in four core Science subjects
and topped them up with winning the prize for the
overall neatest student in the whole school that
academic year!
During the period, I was able to network with
good people whose homes thereby became my home.
It was then I met Mr. & Mrs. Wahab, who were
respectively employees of the Lagos State University
and the Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education,
Ijanikin. While their home virtually became mine,
Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education also
became my reading spot.
So was my relationship with Rev. & Deaconess
Asaju who both work for the Lagos State University as
well. Their home too became my home. With
Deaconess Asaju heading the Law Library, I had
uninterrupted access to the library materials at will, of
course following laid down procedures.
Mr. Ferdinand Ojiemen was my Tutorial Lecturer
who chiefly was responsible for my indepth
understanding of ALL my courses from 200 to the 600
levels of my Law School courses at LASU.
Mr. & Mrs. Ajayi were also in the network of
happy second or alternative homes for many fellow
students who have remained my close friends. So was
Mr Remi Fatunase (now the Registrar) of the French
School, Badagry. With him, I was able to have access
to the serene study environment of the French school
where I studied during week-ends.
275
 I owe all of them a deep gratitude. I equally had a
rough passage while always on the road, day and night.
On one occasion, I ran into a gang of armed robbers
along Governor's Road, Ikotun about 9pm while
returning home from LASU. God saved me and
Bimpe Adewale, a Youth Corp member, who was in
the same car with me.

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 Chapter 41

My Spiritual
Life (1)
As I grew up, I queried every axiom of life.
Religion was one particular area where I went into
extensive research to convince me of the need or
necessity to serve God at all!
While my research confirmed that God exists, I found Him
too awesome, big and complex to be subjected to human scientific
proof. So I had to draw the curtains on my research in order not
to present myself as either faithless or agnostic.
However, that did not stop me from doing a comparative
study of the various religions, as a result of which I chose to
remain a Christian. So I am now competent to speak
elaborately on Christianity to which I belong.
But I am not satisfied with the fact that there are many
denominations in Christianity. Why, for instance, can't we be
one Church as in the beginning and then have branches of it all
over the world? I have since discovered that achieving universal
Christian unity (or ecumenism as currently packaged) is an
impossible mission because churches are now founded on their
founders' convictions or callings in the different dimensions of how
God Almighty allegedly allowed them to establish the
denominations!
That I remain a Christian in this unresolved disunity is
strictly due to my conviction that there is no superior
alternative.
I came to this conclusion after reading so much
about the origins of several of the religions I was
277
privileged to research - their bases, their doctrines, and
so. I am shedding more light on my adventure into
religions to enable my readers emulate me and be able
to hold on to what they consider to be the best choice
rather than tie their faith to mere religious inheritance.
The issue of salvation is personal to everyone.
While seeking the benefit of my readers, yet, I
cannot fully digest the contents of my research into the
religions of this world in a book of this nature. If I did
so, I would depart from the objective of my auto-
biography which is to lift the spirit of my readers
towards achieving good successes in life rather than
enmesh them in unending, seeming eschatological
arguments.
However, I have endeavoured to explain briefly
the religious concepts that are common to our
environment here in Nigeria.

Christianity

Even the Christianity that I finally embraced, was

subjected to thorough investigation. I went back to the
various versions of the Bible (The King James
Version, New International Version, American
Standard Version, Revised Standard Version, The
Duay Version, The New King James Version, The
Living Bible, Good News Bible) and as many more of
other versions as possible. I have six e-versions of the
Bible stored in my palmtop and a further four e-
versions stored in my Sonny-Ericson GSM phone set! I

278
read a considerable part of them, especially their
introductions and the teachings of Jesus Christ himself.
I researched thoroughly into their origins. I was
very much interested in the extent of their
completeness or otherwise. I discovered the nature of
man through the Bibles and also the number of
innocent lives that were lost in the process of trying to
make the Bibles available to everyone as we have it
today. I understood the meaning of the
word“Authorised” appended to the King James'
Version and all the troubles concerning its origin, the
life that was lost who made the moving statement “if
only God would open the King's eyes”, - uttered by the
man being executed for his daring to make the Bible
available to the society at large! I discovered the fact
that there were some other books containing the works
and miracles performed by some Kings, Prophets, and
even Jesus Christ that were not contained in the Bible.

Islam

When I was in the University, I purposely added

Islamic Studies to my course content. I went into it as
part of my research into religions and I was very keen
to know the basis of the Islamic Religion. As I write, I
have both the Arabic as well as the English versions of
the Electronic Quran which I purchased on the
internet installed on my Sonny-Ericson pocket
computer.. I read it whenever time permits me.
My discovery is that contrary to what quite a
number of our so-called muslims are practising, Islam,
279
like Christianity, actually preaches peace, love,
monogamy (not polygamy), total abstinence from
alcohol (not drink a little alcohol), absolute morality,
and so on.
At this juncture, let me assure my Muslim brothers
and sisters - some of whom are very good friends and
my blood relations (nephews and nieces - even Mary,
my wife, was one of them!) and who are deeply bound
in love just as God loves us all - that what I am about
to say are NOT meant to condemn their religion.
My little analysis here is purely academic, and the
observations I make are necessarily because their
omission would weaken my storyline; otherwise, I
would have excluded them altogether.
The most fundamental difference between Islam
and Christianity is the issue of the path to eternity -
Jesus or Mohammed? After personally comparing the
antecedents of these two men, Muhammed and Jesus
Christ, I am more persuaded and have preferred to
remain with Jesus because there is something more
supernatural about him and which goes to the
foundation of the world. His latter-day counterpart,
Mohammed and Islam, I noted, actually began on or
around the period when men had lost connection with
God about 400 years after the second century of
Christian dispersal through persecution. Therefore
Christianity pre-dates Islam. I also compared the
circumstances of the birth, the works and the death of
the two men and got more convinced that Jesus Christ
was unique in the manner of His death at Calvary and
its good portent. The fact that Jesus Christ rose from
280
the dead, which his brother, Mohammed did not, tells
me that there is something more celestially unique
about the former than the latter. His ascension to the
heavens before the very eyes of those who were alive
then, his walking upon water, his raising of the dead,
his asserted super-natural powers, all endeared me to
him the more.
When I also compared the depth of authority with
which Jesus Christ spoke and acted during his ministry
and the promises made from Abraham through to their
exact fulfillment in the New Testament of the Bible, I
had no other choice than to remain a Christian!

Other Religions I Researched

I read some Hare Krishna's books. So I did some

books on The Mormons (called The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter Day Saints).
I have also read some materials in the Christian
Science, the Jehovah Witnesses, the Deeper Life
Ministry, the Redeemed Christian Church of God, the
Catholics and so on.
I was born into the Anglican family and my very
early days were spent in that church; so I have no
problems understanding what they stand for.
I attended the Catholic Church, and its school as
well as the Methodist School/Church at one time or
the other and acquired a bit of understanding about
them. The Catholic and the Anglican, to me, differ
from the Pentecostals because they appear to be more
easy-going than the latter. The Pentecostals apply
281
more zeal, or, if you like, call it passion, to everything
they do: their prayer, their preaching, their counseling,
their utterances and other church processes than the
Orthodox churches like the Anglican and the
Catholics. They tutor their adherents to read the bible
inside out personally. They organize more regular and
structured bible training for the laity, encourage
attendance to the point that, sometimes, they live a
seamless, round-the-clock work-church life. They are
more focused organically, unrelentingly, as if under
pressure! They try harder to live Christ-like by making
the contents of the Bible to bear on their daily
existence. The issue of demons and how to combat
them through deliverance services take a prominent
place in their worship. Conversely, most often than
not, their converts narrow down their 'enemies' to
those they can see physically - their immediate
neighbours, co-workers, some bosses, and, in the
extreme cases, their mothers, fathers, brothers and
extended families! They become over-protective of
themselves and leave what needs to be done to
eradicate poverty from their lives and chase the
shadows like the proverbial Don Quixote!
On the other hand, personally, I don't appreciate
the necessity of burning incense, the predominance of
candles and the sprinkling of water during services as
practised by the Catholics and some other Orthodox
Churches. These practices seem to me a continuation
of Old Testament practices or a carry-over of Jewish
practices than the New Testament approach, which is
fashioned after both Christ and the formalities of the
282
early Apostles who fought to carry on His methods
and teachings.
Talking about the 'pressures' of the Pentecostals, I
personally feel that, yes, there is need for pragmatism,
but some of them have developed to the point of being
grating and deceitful as to capitalize upon the low
station of their converts and exploit their ignorance
and poverty. If you asked me, I would say we have
got to a point where those who seemingly lead the
fight to 'kill the unseen enemies have themselves
become the foes. They are neglecting to do the obvious
practical things that will keep believers' minds or
attention focused on the productive ways of existence,
which will lift them beyond the poverty level and
prepare their souls for salvation. Rather, futile
harangues in a loud bombastic declamation are often
expressed with strong emotions!
My conclusion therefore is this: the majority of the
converts in the Orthodox churches are too cold while
those in the Pentecostal Churches are too hot! The
mid-way is for the Body of Christ to breed converts
who through the full knowledge of the bible, will
become their own pastors (grow in the spirit), excel in
their secular callings and be able to approach life and
people with more love rather than scepticism.
My mother took me to the Cherubim and the
Seraphim Church for some time. I attended the Gospel
Faith Mission, The Christ Gospel Church and, during
the most part of my bachelorhood, I was an active
devotee of Christ Apostolic Church where I was of the
Choir. I studied their doctrines. As for the Cherubim
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& the Seraphim Churches, most of my candid
observation (without necessarily being judgmental
please) is that some of their converts especially the
youths - definitely live at cross-purposes, wherefore
they see the church more as a social fraternity than a
place to progressively get involved in propagating the
word. They need more exposure to living the word.
My suggestion is that they need a corrective dose of re-
orientation in the word of God!

Traditional Religion (Ifa, Sango, Oya, Osun,

Ogun, (The god of iron) Obatala and all that.

If the contents of our history books, which were

very explicit about the origins of most of our
traditional religions, were anything to rely upon, my
conclusion about all traditional religions is that they are
man-made, which cannot be practised at the exalted
level or presence of the Almighty, Omni-potent,
Omni-scient, Omni-present and Awesome Jehovah
Who is the invisible God - the creator of the heavens,
the seas and the earth. It has also been justified by
some of their adherents that these gods are actually
lesser gods and intermediaries between man and the
true God.
But, fate, once upon a time, unavoidably brought me
into contact with the activities of a local religion which
comibined Ifa oracle with spiritism. I used the words
“fate” and “unavoidably” from the onset because I had
thought that we were going to visit a Prophet Prophet
of God rather than a traditional setting. Maybe at the
284
time, God just wanted me to see something about the
other side of life if only to confirm to me, as the Bible
rightly said that there are truly spiritual “powers and
principalities”. Whatever it is, I thank God it was not
enough to separate me from Him.
Judging from the level of its accuracy, what I saw with
my eyes and heard with my own ears were astounding
especially when compared to earlier orthodox medical
and pastoral findings. This extent of scientific
precision on the part of Ifa oracle made me marvel and
it confirms the Bible's postulations about their
existence.

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The Jehovah Witnesses

I have read quite a number of The Jehovah

Witness' literature (the Awake in particular) and
discovered that they always begin very beautifully well
on any article they set out to write. However, half-way
through, they degenerate into ordinary intellectual
write-ups based on human reasoning to the end.

Christ Apostolic Church

Perhaps because of the educational background of

some of our preachers then, some of the Christ
Apostolic Church sermons were far below the level of
God's standard for me intellectually. Or what does one
make of my Pastor (then) who saw me reading Chinua
Achebe's “Things Fall Apart” in preparation for my
GCE examination and he exclaimed, “Brother John,
what are you doing with a worldly book instead of
reading the Bible alone?” Honestly that statement ran
me cold. How did he expect me to read only the Bible
for my non-religious exams? It was obvious that my
spiritual father missed the point and I could not abide
with such company and religious misleading! (Many
young fellows had fallen victims of such teachings in
the past and many unwary students will still follow
suit!).
At the CAC, we exerted too much energy praying
without planning and we left what needed to be done
undone! We were inundated with so much sermons
286
about the 'enemies', the spiritual forces, to the point of
confusion for a young mind like mine. At a stage, I
wondered whether we should not concentrate more on
praying and working for positive things rather than
making enemies of every human being that came our
way. It was in the CAC that I felt so holy within
myself that I regarded every other person as a sinner.
Even at a particular stage, I became a reject because I
had nobody to relate with anymore! As we were
intolerant of people, so we were with the other
religions, especially Islam. On every Muslim holiday,
declared by the Government, our Church would
deliberately fix church programmes that would keep us
away from the Muslim community.
I had said my wife comes from a muslim
background. I met her after it became obvious that I
could find no compatible suitor within the church. As
at then, the girls in my church had mostly been too
young and stark illiterates! When I approached my
Pastor about my predicament regarding the girls, he
unrepentantly switched off from discussing my marital
issues even though my would-be wife had become a
born-again Christian.
I wondered what would have become my lot today
if I did not know God enough to stand by my choice
of partner. What confronted me then was a choice
between pleasing my Pastor and myself who would
live with the woman of my choice. Later in my
Christian race, I was privileged to read the exceptional
story of Ruth in the Bible who hailed from a paganic
background, yet taught everyone who cared to know,
287
very instructive lessons about the meaning of marriage
which got recorded in the bible and through whose
lineage our Saviour Jesus Christ came. I predicated my
own case too on Ruth as an exceptional case, in order
to overcome the legalities of my church and proceed
with what I must do. It was a tough decision to take,
knowing and appreciating the angle my Pastor was
coming from, but at the same time, without losing
sight of God's (may be, exceptional) plan for me.
This was a tough decision indeed to take. The other
hurdles I overcame include the thorough research and
investigations I carried out over my would-be partner's
past life. It is even tougher having come to the
realization that if I failed to work out my decision, I
would be 100% responsible for the repercursions of
my actions or inactions! My readers have already read
of the abundance of my marriage and relationship
with my wife. If I had lost her, I would have lost a
treasure for ever! I would have been truly religious!

The Deeper Life Ministry.

When the Deeper Life Ministry started sometime in the

1970s, members of our CAC Church got so excited
about it that we all virtually trooped to her Gbagada
Study Centre. It was then a purely inter-
denominational Bible Study Centre, not a Church in
the real sense as it is today.
The youths, especially students, went in head-long
because they were offered 'carrots' in forms of free
holiday teachings including coachings in core subjects
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such as English, Mathematics and so on. Before
Deeper Life actually metamorphorsed into a full-
fledged Church, my (CAC) church, became so flustered
with our continuous migration that she gave us an
ultimatum to choose between the two congregations as
a permanent place of worship as she could no longer
tolerate what she saw as dual allegiance or fellowships.
Some of us moved over to Deeper Life in response but
I remained in the CAC.
When Deeper Life became a full church, I began
to see various manifestations of radical attitude on the
part of her membership. The development disturbed
me. I was appalled at the way they regarded the
technology of TV, which they wanted done away with.
Even though I did agree (even now) that any addiction
to it (technoholism) could damage or derail people's
lives, on the other hand, doing away with the TV
served no ultimate purpose in the emerging world.
Rather I thought that the advent of the Television or
suchlike information technology simply placed upon
parents additional opportunity to be very vigilant and
control the flow of what constituted useful knowledge
to their offspring in accordance with the tenets of the
Holy Bible.
To know the roots of the church, I got hold of the
book titled “Deeper Life” written by Alan Isaacson,
and foreworded by the founder W.F. Kumuyi, himself.
It was published by Hodder and Stoughton, variously
in London, Sydney Auckland and Toronto (1990
Edition).

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 My discoveries in the book were quite many and
very exciting. For instance, Deeper Life as a Church,
emerged as a result of the zeal to serve God in an
IMPROVED way under the cornerstone of
evangelism. Pastor Kumuyi disagreed with his Church,
the Apostolic Faith , on some fundamental issues and I
quote below excerpts from pp124-127, which I found
really useful for me:
“I just had a concern to teach young people
because I had been involved with the Scripture union
and young people's groups. We were teaching these
young people to be born again , and to live consistent
Christian lives. We also emphasized evangelism in
those days. Now the church I was going to at that time
did not accept the way we carried out personal
evangelism. They felt that young Christians who
evangelise might fall into false doctrine. They
encouraged you to invite people to the church services,
and believe that they would be saved. I didn't agree
with that, and so I was the target of the preaching there
a lot of the time. They would allude to 'the young man
who is going astray'. But I kept on going to the
church, and a lot of people who were coming to Bible
study went to different churches-some to that church,
some to Pentecostal churches., Evangelical churches,
and some remained in the 'orthodox churches like
Anglican, Methodist and Presbyterian.
“Then we had retreats. After the retreats, Deeper
Life members would go back to their own churches
and evangelise those people who they felt were not
born again. That approach may have been wrong, it
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may have been right; but that's what they did. They
felt the people in the churches were not receiving clear
teaching on the new birth; and that their lives did not
show clear evidence of the new birth, although that
was a subjective judgment. But that was their reason
for evangelizing them. They also taught them about
what they believed was consistent Christian living:
holiness, and other practical issues like 'do not smoke,
do not drink'. Now as young people, they had zeal,
and it was good. But sometimes they were wrong in
their emphasis, so I would correct them at the Bible
study but the churches did not know about the
correction, because they were not at the Bible study!
Eventually some of them were driven out of the
churches. For example one denomination gave a
general type of statement at their headquarters:
'Anybody who attends any other Bible study outside of
the church's, especially Deeper Life Bible study, will be
driven out of the church'. The brethren who attended
the Bible study therefore left that church and went to
another church. But the story repeated itself; other
churches also drove them out. Eventually my own
church sent me out too. I didn't want to tell you all
this earlier on, because I didn't want to sound negative
about the local churches. The local churches were
doing good work; it's just that there are differences in
our convictions. I think, to be consistent, I would
rather say that the way they felt was the only option
they had. My Overseer called me and told me that he
didn't enjoy what I was doing. He said I was not
practising what the church taught me, and that that
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might have some consequences. I explained my
perception and admitted that if what I was doing
would hinder the growth of the church and the
Kingdom of God, I would patiently bear whatever they
would do. And yet I couldn't give up my convictions
on evangelism. Finally, the church took the decision to
ex-communicate me…
“Now, when they excommunicated me, I didn't
join any other church. The church I had been going to
preached on holiness, and restitution. I felt that if this
church (which stands on the Bible) could drive me out,
then any other church not standing on the totality of
the Bible could do worse. I was driven out in 1977, and
we just continued the Bible study. The people coming
to the Bible study and who had also been attending
that church with me, kept going. I made sure that they
were not negative about it. I excused the church,
saying that they were not committing sin; that they did
the best they knew. OUR DIFFERENCE WAS IN
OUR CONVICTION.
“It was primarily pressure from existing churches
which led Pastor Kumuyi to start Sunday worship for
Deeper Life members thus forming a new Church,
rather than remaining as an interdenominational
ministry”
That is the unvarnished (or plain) history of
Deeper Life. Many people who were ex-
communicated from their various Churches and
needed more 'comfortable' place to worship - a place
that would go deeper into the doctrines of the Holy
Bible - gathered together to form Deeper Life Bible
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Ministry into a Church. One cardinal initial doctrine of
the Church was for members to give their 'all' to God.
Again, according to Alan (p. 105) on some Deeper
Life's initial doctrines
'…Conversion to Christ does affect the whole of our
lives, and members of Deeper Life are committed to
placing themselves unreservedly under the demands of
the Gospel. For example, in the early days of Deeper
Life it was unacceptable for women to wear trousers,
jewellery, or make-up in church or at prayer. Men were
to wear simple clothes; unflared trousers (despite the
fashion of the time) and plain shoes (acceptable heel
heights were specified). Born-again Christians would
not watch television or drink minerals such as cola or
lemonade, but only fruit juice. Marriage was not really
acceptable for the truest disciple of Christ although
this teaching was modified after Kumuyi's marriage to
sister Biodun in 1980! All this has led to charges of
legalism, which are still made. These accusations
regarding the past are no doubt true, but certainly in
Lagos, and in most of the other places I visited, I did
not hear such strict lifestyle regulations being preached
any more.”

Daddy Kumuyi has this to say himself:

“I think that most of us are creatures of our

background and early environment. When I became
born again, the church, of which I was a member,
emphasized all these things as part of one's Christian
life. Then too, I read much of John Wesley in my
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 early years of Christian life. I always knew that you
are saved by grace through faith. But then that we are
'created unto good works' (Ephesians 2.10), That
means as an evidence that I 'm born again, I should
show it by the lifestyle that I lead. If my life does not
conform with the Bible standard, and I am 'living in
sin' (Romans 6.2), it is an evidence that I do not have
what I profess. I am saved by the grace of God but the
good life is an evidence that my testimony is real.”

Modifications began to come, like the Leader,

feeling the need to marry and actualising it. Some
members felt affronted by this departure, and they
broke away. Gradually, the Deeper Life began to carry
out reforms consistently until, today, they have become
a Church to reckon with by every segment of the
Nigerian society.
These conflicting signals however kept me in the
CAC before I finally found myselfin the Redeemed
Christian Church of God (RCCG). The Gospel Faith
Mission. The approach was similar to that of CAC, then
highly laden with emotion and I did not waste my time
there at all.

Eckankar, Grail Message and Hare Krishna

I also read a bit of the literature on Eckankar, the

Grail Message and the rest of them. The more I knew
of them and compared them with Christianity, the
clearer it became to me that their religions depart from
the Bible. They haven't the originality and depth of
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Christianity. They are based on ordinary human
aspirations and emotions. For instance, a Hare
Krishna literature quotes Exod. 20:13 which says, 'Thou
Shall Not Kill” (MKJV) to mean “thou shall not kill”
even animals for food to justify that all beings should
be vegetarians!

Hare Krishna faith also quarels with the warnings in

Exodus 22:18-19 which says

“… If anyone adds to these things, God will add on

him the plagues that have been written in this Book.
And if anyone takes away from the words of the Book
of this prophecy, God will take away his part out of
the Book of Life and out of the holy city,…”

To justify the authenticity of their own doctrinal

teachings and books of faith, Hare Krishna argued that
God is not fixed, nor is He rigid. Therefore His
speaking cannot be restricted to the contents of the
Bible alone. If HE liked, HE could cause other books,
like the Bible, to be written.
Logical as their assertions may appear, it is clear
that what the Bible says is that it is complete as it is and
is not subject to a re-write or any form of alteration
whether by way of an addition or a subtraction!
Human beings can write other books as the Lord
inspire them, and as we see them doing all over the
place. But those books can never be equated with the
Bible to be the basis of everything as the Bible rightly
is. My firm belief is rooted in the fact that the Bible is
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the only complete 'manual of life' handed over to man
by his Creator.
We draw inspirations from it, revelationarily
interpret its provisions, but its SOVEREIGNTY over
all other religious works shall not be open to debate for
it has no comparison for its completeness and
unambiguity and the living pregnancy of its every
word.!
Reviewing the Hare Krishna assertion, there is
nothing wrong with being vegetarians but its practice
has no religious justification.
Being vegetarians from youth or particularly from the
age of say 40 years upwards is healthy as the 'flesh' in
the form of meat which we consume regularly add less
value to our health than eating much of assorted
vegetables. It is common knowledge that vegetarians
hardly suffer from common illnesses as indigestion or
constipation because their digestive systems function
better. Practitioners could also avoid such animal
diseases as the 'mad cow' disease that rocked Britain a
few years ago. It is a sure way for shaping for the
better, the health aspect of our lives tomorrow. But,
even then, if vegetarianism were a complete way for
longevity, most human beings would since have
adopted it as the most acceptable way of feeding!

Mysticism

For a very short while, I went outside religion. I read

some literature on the Roscicrucian Order and I had
the distinct feeling that ultimately, Roscicrucian is
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antithetical to Christianity and that they are mutually
exclusive.
Like others I have reviewed earlier, the AMORC is
not a religion, a fact they themselves acknowledge but
a parody of Christian beliefs anchored on human
intellectualism. They are more concerned with
developing leadership traits rather than the salvation of
souls. Therefore they discuss Christ, as well as
Mohammed only as great leaders (which no doubt they
were) with certain admirable qualities but they do not
truly analyse the salvation aspects of their leadership.
Christianity is a sufficient way of life but AMORC has
no enduring spiritual platform to uplift the human
spirit for ever more as Christianity does. Having seen
these signals, I left AMORC and its literature alone.
Still not satisfied, I saw an advertisement placed in
one of the newspapers for the membership of a body
called the “MYSPOTEM”. I did not waste time in
joining their Neophyte Membership category. Their
first two literature offerings did not contradict the
Bible in any way. But from the 3rd to the 7th, they
contained practices, which sharply contradict biblical
doctrines of the New Testament. We used candles,
lavenders and white hankerchief to perform what was
called ablutions during our quiet times usually in the
quiet period of the nights, which contradict the
Pentecostal approach to Christianity. The more I
advanced in their teachings the more the irreconcilable
contradictions.
Personally, I would not, simply because I disagree
with their practices, daub AMORC or MYSPOTEM as
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a secret society judging from their practices I knew
through their literatures, although my assertion will
generate a heated debate especially among fellow
Christians. It is sufficient for my readers to realise that
the conclusions I drew are my personal opinions! I
may be right, I may equally be outrightly wrong! But I
consider all the benefits in their practices as something
like “bodily exercise” which Apostle Paul rightly
opined in the Holy Bible “profiteth little”. Christianity
offers us the completeness we are looking for both to
have a good success in this planet and to enter into the
Kingdom of God we all seek after.
Again, my candid opinion is that it is not possible
practically for one to belong to those societies and still
remain a true disciple of Christ. Surely, there are
fundamental conflicts in teachings that cannot be
reconciled without rationalizing one's faith.
No doubt the net-working, the inspirational
books, the observation of quiet times at regular
intervals can help their members to excel in creative
thinking and develop their competence. The fact that
many of their members are already financially
successful people can lead to direct assistance to their
members, yet I found the Bible offering a fuller and
complete package compared to their goodies which
they offer their adherents. So I left them alone.
The main purpose of revealing this much
information on my religious conviction is to enable
readers to realize that their experiences and situations
are not unique or novel, because I have been a co-
traveller in the bewildering experiences of human
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existence. It will let them realize that even as a
Minister of God, I have, like them, gone through and
am still going through, some, if not all of what are
agitating their minds today. By seeing how I resolve
such life's conflicts, it will aid them also to shape their
lives for the better, especially spiritually.
I also want to enable them appreciate the realities
of the dilemma of man in spiritual issues as I similarly
questioned everything about life before I chose to be
what I have become. I have played out the
inquisitiveness of man's nature!
Finally, I have heard people complain about what
they might have been but for their parent's influence
upon them. I pity such people because their attitude
shows that they are not mature in handling the affairs
of their lives. I listened to and respected my parents'
views but my ultimate actions are my decisions,
unmindful of contrary reactions. Therefore, that I
practise or adhere to Pentecostal Christianity and
belong to the Redeemed Christian Church of God is
my personal choice and in line with how much truth
God and research work had revealed to me.

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My Wife's Roles in My Days of Adventure into
Spiritualism

It was simple. She never supported nor joined me

in my adventures. She felt and consistently maintained
that she did not see the need for such soul-searching.
So, where I left her - Christianity - when I went on my
voyage of discovery was the spot I met her when I
returned! She remained stoutly unmoved!
That is the nature of a woman: whatever they support
they support. That is the nature of man - ever
adventuring, reasonable or not! That is the nature of
human beings, ever looking for solutions to their
problems from all directions!

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 Chapter 42

I Settled
For Christianity
When I lived at Adesina Street, Ijeshatedo area of
Lagos between 1990-1993 or thereabout, I worshipped
with the Powerline Bible Church headed by Pastor
(now Bishop) Lawrence Osagie. One Mrs. Olajumoke
(now late), then a classmate of mine at the Lagos State
University, introduced me to the church. When my car
was faulty, she it was who conveyed me in her car from
classes - a fact that helped to evangelise me into the
Powerline Bible Church. At Powerline Bible Church,
the word of God is the enzyme which boosts the
vision of the Founder, Pastor Osagie. Pastor Osagie
was such an energetic preacher. From the accounts of
Paul the Apostle I have read in the Bible, it was
obvious that Pastor Osagie patterened after Paul in
zeal. This is a man who openly confessed that in order
for him not to be tempted to seek alternative
employment other than serve God, he had to set all his
hard-earned certificates on fire! He preaches the word
of God undiluted!
I was fairly close to him but the fear of being
trapped into priesthood made me to keep a safe
distance from him! Pastor Osagie is one person who
consistently marvels at the level of resemblance
between my wife and I share. He was the one who
wrote the foreward to the first edition of this book
301
published in 1992. He was the one from whom I took
counsel when I wanted to change my name and I
remember his words: “you don't have to be emotional
about it, change to your biological father's name!”
Although I loved to continue to worship in
Powerline but I was forced to leave because I moved
house from Ijeshatedo to Iba Housing Estate which
was about 20km away.
Before leaving Powerline, I had made up my mind
that I was moving to the Redeemed Church wherever
I found one.

I Joined RCCG Instead of TREM

Finally, I settled for the Redeemed Christian Church of

God and I will tell you how. In the first place, I was
unaware that there were two renowned versions of
Redeemed Churches in Nigeria - TREM and RCCG. I
was in love with the acronym, TREM, because of the
way it sounded. Soon after I moved into my new
accommodation at the Iba Housing Estate, Ojo, Lagos
I located a Redeemed Christian Church of God
(RCCG) and quickly joined it, thinking it was TREM!
Months later, as I discussed with another friend, Mrs.
Flora Oke, I innocently informed her that I had joined
TREM. She was careful to ask me whether the church
was TREM or RCCG. I insisted that it was TREM but
after she pointed out the peculiarities of the two
churches, I discovered that I was with the RCCG, not
TREM!

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 I made thorough investigations about the Church through its
own literature and from discussions with friends. Good enough,
they had ample materials revealing so much about the founder,
the doctrines and the incumbent General Overseer, Pastor Enoch
Adejare Adeboye. The more questions I asked, the more
answers I found. I became fascinated.
During mid-week and Sunday services, I flowed
very well with everything done. First, there was a
balanced preaching of salvation and the need and how
to succeed here on earth. Their presentation aligned
with my belief! Secondly, RCCG, as a church, caters
absolutely for the souls of everyone irrespective of
whether you are holy, semi-holy or unholy. RCCG has
the passion to win ALL souls to its fold.
RCCG receives you the way you are. You are then
indoctrinated with the Word of God through such
channels as its Believer's Class, the Sunday School, The
School of Disciples and other Biblical trainings until
you come to self-realisation and acquire the sound
ability to make mature choices!
The Church elevates you to appreciate holiness
and righteousness, which informs the choice of names,
such as Model and Classical, given to parishes. If the
parish is classical, they are likely governed with much
do's and don'ts in the pattern of the CAC, brooking no
compromise at all. If you can't stand such toughness,
you may belong to the Model parishes, which
predominate in the Church. They contain the trendy
ones, mostly the youth and females who invariably
prefer to sport trouser suits, flaunt the airs of the

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generally fashionable and the educated diction exudes
class!
My understanding of the church leadership's
philosophy is for one to serve God with one's heart
through the full exposure to the Word of God, by
which one should operate at one's individual capacity
to please God. I share this view very much. It differs
from the outlook of the previous places (except
Powerline which shares the same approach with
RCCG) where I have worshipped before joining the
RCCG..
The policy of establishing branches within five
minutes of walking (or for car owners, five minutes of
driving) distance to worshipers' residence is laudable
and visionary. It is admirable . It challenges those who
are zealous for God to become leaders quickly and has
reduced leadership tussles in the Church to the barest
minimum by the ready opportunities available to the
ambitiously restless. It answers Christ's statement that
the harvest is plenty but that the labourers are few!
One other thing I cherish in RCCG is the
inculcation of the spirit of hard work and intellectual
development through continuing education. Much of
the preaching is decidedly educative and a constant
reminder to the student adherents in particular to
buckle up always and not relent in their studies. So
mediocrity has no foothold in the congregation.
Above all, salvation of every member is the ultimate
goal in RCCG. Holiness and righteousness are her
emphasis and a lot of biblical training opportunities for
adherents to know how to attain the much desired
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salvation. No doubt a lot of miracles happen during
preachings, which only evidences the fact that God still
performs the wonders of old today. If any member
wants to really understand this policy of the church
clearly, it is important for him or her to join the School
of Disciples. The practical aspect of RCCG is manifest
there! RCCG is rooted on holiness, rightgeousness
and salvation.
RCCG also believes that good Christians are
needed in all facets of leadership (including politics) to
run the affairs of any nation well.
These two goals for a man to live an accomplished
and balanced life to inherit the kingdom of God tally
with my own understanding of God's purposes for our
lives.

The Controversies about RCCG

In every organisation, there will always be gray

areas. The one that seems to have brought
controversies in RCCG, as far as my research revealed,
centred on the aspect of the fact that members must
not breakaway from RCCG to establish their own
churches at will and that if they did, such churches
shall not prosper. Till the time of writing, I have not
laid my hands on any material from RCCG which
preaches this issue or(call it) doctrine.
I first heard of it during my Worker's Training in
the Iba Estate Parish. As a new comer to the church,
on hearing about it, the first question that came to my
head as a mortal being was whether that would not
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sound like someone belonging to a body by
compulsion and that if new churches have been
emerging everyday and their Founder's are truly called,
why can't that happen in RCCG? Again I reasoned
that the RCCG itself is an off-spring of a white-
garment church where the Founder, Papa Akindayomi
himself, once worshipped before he was called to
establish the RCCG. All these were my personal views
and they may have arisen because of the two aspects of
life I share with Apostle Paul, being a Lawyer and a
man with scientific inclination - always wanting to
know the underlying basis of everything!
However, if this debatable requirement of RCCG
was indeed a revelation of God to the Founder, God
can also empower at will other worthy born-again
believers in the Church to found new churches if it
would speed up world evangelisation to His
satisfaction. So, to me, if today a Member of the
RCCG rises up and says he has heard from God to
establish a new Church for His worship, all that he or
she needs to do is to humbly walk up to the
Authorities of the Church confidently and lay God's
message before them exactly how he received it.
Because of the fear of God which I believe is in
them and the gift of the spirit of discernment upon our
Daddy Adeboye and his team, I am sure they will not
just dismiss such claim as false. I believe that they will
hear directly from God who would give them
confirmation and direction on the emerging
development in the same way He had earlier directed
Pa Akindayomi on the same issue.
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 If His will is that the new church should spring
up, Daddy Adeboye would obediently bless the man
and give him every support to make God's will prevail
in his life. I know, from his characteristically humble
manner, that Pastor Adeboye would say within him
“Who am I to argue with my Creator?” I think what we
all need to do is to be good followers so that God
would elevate us to positions of leadership Himself.

Christian's Primary Concern

My view is that our primary concern, as Christians,

should be to serve God in truth and in spirit and to
identify and co-operate with the leaderships of our
churches to realize their visions of winning as many
souls to Christ as possible.

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 Chapter 43

My Life
As A
Student-Worker
Sometimes, when I recall the events of my life, one
aspect that makes me feel disturbed is the fact that I
had to combine studies with fending for my livelihood.
The implications on all facets of my life are far too
serious. I would wish that my life had not been ordered that
way.
First, during my work-school-church life, I was spiritually
weakened and my spiritual growth seriously hampered. My first
contact with RCCG was at the Iba Estate Parish.
Pastor Obed Akinmulewo - a very pragmatic Pastor-
headed the Church then. Through convincing and
resourceful sermons, he finally succeeded in
convincing me to grow in the church and spiritually.
He was ably assisted by (then) Assistant Pastor
Olugbemi. Indeed it was Pastor Akinmulewo's down-
to-earth teachings that decisively impacted my life (and
that of my wife) spiritually. It was in that Parish that I
got re-baptised in the RCCG's way and there I became
an active worker in the true sense of the word, having
attended the Workers-in-Training course.

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I Became A Landlord!

A year later, my family made an historical move to a

three bed-room flat in the Jakande Housing Estate,
Isolo, which I purchased with my own money to finally
end my being a tenant! From then onwards, I
qualified to attend Landlord Association Meetings and
thereby bid bye-bye to tenancy and its numerous
problems!

Appreciation to Mrs. Abe, My Last Landlady!

I think this is the appropriate point to appreciate

my long-time good friend, Mrs. Abe (my sister-in-law),
who was the owner of the 3-bedroom flat I occupied
in the Iba Housing Estate and she was my last
Landlady before I earned my new status of a Landlord
myself. Our relationship which started incidentally as a
teacher-student sometime mid-70's, grew to in-lawship
when I married her younger sister, metamorphorsed
into a Landlord-tenant relationship and today, with
the death of her mother, Madam Ayinde, Iyabo has
rightly stepped into the shoes of my late mother-in-law!
God has ordered our lives such that we remain
mutually beneficial to one another.
Ours is a strong testimony of my belief that it is
easy to have a clean, healthy male-female relationship if
those involved are focused positively on what God has
ordained for them to do together. Today, our two
families are one; our children indeed are one. We have
set a good example for generations after us to follow.
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My Roles in RCCG, Healing Porch Parish, Isolo

At the Jakande Housing Estate, Isolo, I was

introduced to the Healing Porch Parish of the RCCG
by Mr. Onilari who had been the last tenant of the
apartment I bought. I soon joined the Workers Group
and progressed to be a Minister by the time I got
admitted into the Lagos State University for a six-year
Law Programme. Consequently, my ministerial focus
was held in abeyance until I became a qualified Lawyer
seven years later. Pastor Okanlawon was the Parish
Pastor when I went on my study leave. Area Pastor
Dejo Oluwaniyi who is a close friend, succeeded Pastor
Okanlawon. I was a Sunday School Teacher. Areal
Pastor Oluwaniyi co-operated very well with me to
ease my church duties during the time until he was
replaced by Pastor Wole Daniels. In quick time, Pastor
Wole Daniel's family and my own family got integrated
and we became family friends. It was my son,
Olumide who had himself become a very active and
promising Minister of God at his own level that
actually brought us very close. At a time I was not very
visible in the church myself, Pastor Wole Daniels took
him in hand for his zealousness. I apprecited him
more deeply for steering Olumide to prefer attending
(and enabling him to get admission into) a University
of his own choice, which incidentally, is Pastor Wole
Daniel's alma mater. When Pastor Wole Daniel's
tenure ended, Area Pastor Bankole Fabiyi succeeded
him. Like Pastor Wole Daniels, my sons (Olumide and
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Muyiwa's) active involvement in church programmes
brought Pastor Fabiyi's family and mine together in no
time.

Why Go Back to School?

No doubt God can use an entire illiterate to do

His work whenever He chooses to - that is an
exceptional case. Nobody deliberately chooses to be
illiterate. I always believed that those who had no
spiritual vision should not be dogged about Ministry.
Also, concomitantly, whoever wished to stand on a
spiritual pedestal should also have a physical platform
to stand on.
In other words, whoever must serve in the modern
Church should endeavour to be thoroughly
knowledgeable academically and theologically to be
relevant and acceptable to present-day, knowledgeable
congregations, for even the Bible confirms this in
Hosea 4:6(a & b)

“My people perish from lack of knowledge.”

“Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you
as my priests;” (NIV)

Such presentation helps to convince the congregation

that a Pastor is actuated to serve and that he had not
escaped or drifted into the house of God because of
his failure or inadequacy in the secular world.
Today, congregations are mixed, representing the
different classes of society: the highly educated
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consorting with not so educated, the high society with
the town dwellers. Therefore, a Pastor worth his salt
should be able to deal competently with the needs of
every segment of his congregation, in terms of
knowledge that they need to have, validated or
disproved for their spiritual and physical growth.
If you are too unworthy or inferior and cannot
form the necessary bridge for the interaction of your
congregation, forget the Ministry. As Daddy Adeboye
has said,

“Just the mastery of an insignificant percentage of the

limitless deposit of knowledge which our Creator and
Lord has put in place before the discovery of formal
education itself is not enough for a man to become
swollen-headed”

In other words, good education is very important and

an irreducible minimum requirement for the clerical
garb!
Therefore any Pastor who would win the people
for Christ must be educated (enlightened) to a great
degree, if not more educated than the people he is
pastoring. On that platform, the popular saying that
birds of the same feathers flock together becomes
relevant even in the Church of God.
That requirement is in the mould of my exemplary
Fathers in the Lord such as Pastor Enoch Adejare
Adeboye, Bishop Oyedepo, Late Arch-Bishop Benson
Idahosa, Bishop Lawrence Osagie, Mike Murdocks,
Pastor Tunde Bakare, Pastor W.F. Kumuyi, Pastor
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Chris Oyakhilome, The Billy Grahams, The Hagins,
the Wesleys, Pastors Chris Okotie, Late Bimbo
Odukoya and a host of other highly accomplished and
well educated women and men of God. If by their
good education, these anointed children of God have
not tried to disprove the claims of the Holy Bible, then
God must be real and mightier than anybody or
intelligence and must be worshiped by all.
All these considerations informed my
determination to lift myself beyond mediocrity. To
actualize this dream, I went cap-in-hand to Pastor
Okanlawon to be released to go back to school, and he
granted my request.

The Prices I Had to Pay

As I have been trying to say, I paid a great price

for the choice. But I preferred the pain to the pleasures
of the moment. I must however confess that I was
spiritually weakened during my sojourn at the
University for being always in school at week-ends. I
suffered from what I call spiritual dryness. I stuck to
my grinding study schedule in order not to become a
victim of 'carry-overs'. So, I was not active in the
Church throughout my seven-year sojourn in school.
I wished to be (if only to help me to be steadfast in all
my ways) but I hardly could do something about that.
The truth however, was that I would most likely have
broken down in my health had I added the attendance
of most Church services to my tight schedule. So, I
was attending only the Sunday services but I always left
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soon after the grace, without attending the
concomitant meetings.
In contrition, immediately on completion of my
academic pursuits, I straight-away got enrolled into the
Bible College but aborted the course midway to truly
take some necessary rest.

Social Relationships

Socially, I was totally restricted by my occupations

so much so that even when my mother died, (against
her wishes) I had to keep her remains in the mortuary
for almost six months before undertaking her burial
and funeral rites. I did that because I did not just want
to bury her without pomp! My good mother deserved
the very best celebration as my last honour to her and I
thank God I was able to accomplish just that. I have
some elaboration to make on this later.
Throughout my six-year law course at the Lagos
State University, I hardly honored invitations to any
social occasions from whatever quarters. I sacrificed
everything I had (money, time, energy, etc) to achieve
my educational loft.

I Graduated!

By the special grace of God, I graduated with an

LL.B (2nd Class Honours) Degree in the 2000/2001
academic session. At this point, I had shed the poor
academic heritage I had been saddled with from birth!

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I Was Called to the Bar!

But LL.B was not my ultimate goal in the legal

profession. The ultimate goal was to become learned,
not just educated. With persistent encouragement
from my God-sent friends (Mr. Fagbohun, Mr.
Sofowora, Mr. Ferdinand Ojiemen in particular- thanks
to them) who insisted that I must not stop at the
Degree level for whatever reasons, I proceeded to
obtain the Nigerian Law School form. Fortunately I
got admitted and successfully completed the very
rigorous one-year course. On the 2nd of day of July
2003, I was formally called to the Nigerian Bar, thus
becoming a learned gentleman!

July, Is My Month!

I was born in July, I married in July, I had one of my

children in July, the most prosperous employment I
had in life started in July, and here it is again, I became
a qualified Lawyer in July! My first driving licence was
obtained in July! If I were to choose my dying month
after what the Bible has promised me a good old age -
why wouldn't I choose this favourable and perfect
number seven month - July - for it?

The Future of Legal Profession In Nigeria

Because of time constraint, the full account of my

experiences at the Law School, the more detailed
narration of the extensive exposures I had to the crude
315
nature of human beings and how the law has positively
reshaped them through well-reasoned decided locus
classicus cases will be left to a future opportunity.
Suffice it to say here for now that law will continue to
remain an instrument for social engineering.
Let me return to the Nigerian Law School. I would
like to say here that in spite of the problems of
underfunding, leading to a lack of provision of
adequate basic amenities such as an up-to-date library,
constant supply of power and water, good restaurant
facilities, etcetera, I am proud of the outstanding
quality of resource persons in the Law School. It was
in the Nigerian Law School that I saw Lecturers
(Messrs. Nwosu and Nwokocha) who would quote
from memory any section of the over 630-section
Companies and Allied Matters Decree 1990 (LFN) and
dissect all the provisions of the most technical of all
the laws we studied (The Law of Evidence) without
physical reference to it. By reason of the credentials,
formidable intellect and qualitative teaching of the
lecturers, the Nigerian Law School, I can say, in them,
the future of legal profession in Nigeria is very bright
indeed.
I must also commend the then Director-General of the
School, Mr. Kayode Jegede, and his Deputy and
successor Dr. Kole Abayomi who headed the Lagos
Campus then, in particular. Dr. Abayomi was most
affectionate to all his students. He demonstrated this
fully when one day he practically went spiritual, praying
for each student, laying his hands upon them to tap the
anointing for success!
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The study of law exposed me to the true nature of
man. The gamut of our legal education (in the cases
we read and digested) revealed to me the depth that
some men (and women of course) can be inherently
wicked, selfish, brutish and over adventurous! Yet the
realization has not eliminated my earlier assertion that
man is created good and that he recognizes and
reciprocates love, when he sees it please! However,
while the majority of human beings are good, it cannot
be ignored that but for religion and the law, which
combine to moderate him, he is capable of descending
to the level of the wildest beast!
The study of the law also exposed me to the wisdom of
the ages which is manifest in the various decisions of
the courts that we perused.
Since graduation, it has been a pleasant feeling that
people have accorded me greater respect than hitherto
and that they have been coming to me for professional
legal advice. The catch in the education is that
everyone thinks I had all the wisdom which is the great
challenge of Lawyers in society. I realize of course that
to justify the expectation, one must not rest on one's
oars!
Having become a Lawyer, a certified HR practitioner
and an Author, God has finally helped me to lay a solid
foundation for a better tomorrow. The icing of the
cake is the grace of God to excel, especially as I have
an eye to practise or lecture Law one day, in addition to
my desire to write as many books as will change the
society for the better.

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 Chapter 44

Appreciating Those
Who Supported
My Family

Throughout the duration of my educational quest,

the management of my home had to be surrendered to
my numerous family members including my mother,
my niece, Busola Ajayi (nee Adeniyi), my Uncle Julius'
wife's brother, Kazeem Olanipekun, my sister-in-law,
Bola Ogunloye (nee Ayinde) and, towards the tail-end
of my studies, my nephew, Lateef Biodun Jimoh.
I also acknowledge the good contributions made
by Emmanuel Rotimi Ibitoye. Indeed my wife met
him in my house and I have marveled at the beauty of
their interpersonal relationship since then and even
after he left us to be on his own. Two other nieces
(Miss Eunice Adegbola and Janet Olayinka - both now
married) who lived with us at one time or the other
also made their own useful contribution to our home.
Everyone of them happily bridged the gaps
created by the fact that my wife and I were a schooling
and working couple. They gave our children
psychological balance by managing our home co-
operatively with us selflessly!
Reciprocally, my wife and I shared their visions
and ensured that those who needed educating were not
short-changed. We counseled those concerned about
their future and generally shared a unified and

318
unforced homely ambience where there were no social
or family distinctions or prejudices. Happily, things
have turned out right for everyone concerned, and my
wife and I remain grateful to all those who helped to
see us through our numerous transitions in life.
Throughout their stay with us, we all had a sense of oneness,
such that nobody could draw the line between where the nuclear
family ended and the extended family began! Till date, they
remain cordial and happy with us. Busola Ajayi and her
husband have taken me (and is eager to take my wife) out of the
shores of Nigeria, seemingly to continue our good old days
together in unending love! Rotimi Ibitoye has been a
major pillar in the sponsorship of my children, even at
the University level. He was there to collaborate fully
with me to give my mother - his grand mother - a
befitting burial! Bola Ogunloye (my sister-in-law),
Janet Oyelami (nee Olayinka) and Abiodun Jimoh (my
nephew) were fully with me during my late mother's
burial. Kazeem Ojo Olanipekun, my Uncle's wife's
brother, has always been with us and he has continued
to buy me and our children Christmas clothes annually.
Imagine that!
This is why I maintain that human beings are
created good. When they see love, they recognize it.
When it is extended to them with all genuineness of
heart, they reciprocate it. If I had hurt him when he
was with me, he would most likely have reciprocated it
also.
It stands to reason therefore that extended family
members (so dreaded by some so-called nuclear
homes) can be very helpful in building homes if only
319
we demonstrated genuine love towards them. When
they climb the ladder of fortune, they will not forget
those who have been kind to them when they were
down below.
As we appreciate them, we know that God
appreciates them more and He will continue to reward
them accordingly.
With these testimonies, I expect any doubters to
bring their families (poly or monogamous, extended or
nuclear) together in love. Let us stop justifying evil. No
half measures! It just pays to do so and you, my
reader, should initiate the conduct or practice. What I
practised and still do, is what I am preaching to you. I
am not postulating theories but earnest practicalities.
You won't die if you do it. Rather, your life is bound
to be the better for it in the long run!

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 Chapter 45

My Mother's Life,
A Lesson in Womanhood
“I am not educated, but I know my mind!”
- Madam Victoria Tomire Ilugbusi (Circa 1910-Nov. 20, 2002)

How it happened.

I had mentioned very briefly in the earlier part of this

book who my late mother, Victoria Tomire, was; how
her life impacted so positively upon mine, how she
traded her visions with her children and how she drew
us to God. Particularly, I narrated how I responded to
her callings and the benefits that accrued to both of us
reciprocally, as between a loving mother and her
obedient child.
Perhaps, the nine-word statement of my late mother, 'Tomire,
quoted above, is one of her most powerful, educative, inspiring
and life-changing and most inspiring statements I have ever heard
in my life.
Rightly, if only to pay her an appropriate tribute
she deserves more than I have so far written. Not only
that, she has, by this narration, passed some vital
messages to my readers, which were the secrets by
which my mother positively brought me up.
In revealing the message, I am going to emulate
the biblical Paul the Apostle, in the manner he wrote in
the New Testament of the Bible. Limitedly though, I
share some traits of this great writer. He was a Lawyer
321
as I am. He was practical in his preaching, teachings,
and writings. I write on what I have seen or
experienced plus the outcome of painstaking
researches I have personally undertaken at one time or
the other, from which I draw practical lessons to
improve the lot of those who would follow them.

Apostle Paul had a knack for narrative writing, as I

think I do, though, a mere shadow. Apostle Paul was
driven by a passion and the desire to get results. I
believe so I am. Like him, too, I give my all for
whatever I do, including my writings. Like Apostle
Paul, I believe absolutely in my causes and fight for
and defend them to my utmost at any price. So are my
persistence and the capacity for hard work over which
my wife prays, complains and dreams so I would 'take
time out to rest'.
Perhaps the notable difference between Apostle
Paul and me is that despite my tight schedule, I share
time with my wife, children, nuclear or extended family
and accommodate people continually as in my
household. Paul never married!
So what I write about my mother's way of life I
would do Apostle Paul's way.

Mum, A Role Model

My mother was a role model to all women, many

of whom might be privileged to read what follows
about her to benefit from her exemplary life. She was
not an angel but she was a good woman in every sense of it.
322
Tomire, my mother, was not educated in the Western sense of it
but, often, she said unabashedly,“… but I know my mind”.
However, the lesson she passed on with that powerful
but short statement was that one can be truly quite
sensible without passing through the four walls of any
formal school. What is impotant is for one to know
his or her mind. To know one's mind, means a lot of
things to people at different times and stages of life.
The sentence means to people generally
contextually: to have a clear focus or vision in every
facet of life; to think right; to pursue one's focus
relentlessly; to be hard working; to know how to obtain
one's heart's desires; to be efficient and effective in
one's pursuits; to take the positive side of life and avoid
the negative; to tolerate people generally; to seek
wisdom; to stoop to conquer; to love unconditionally;
to observe the Golden Rule of Life; to unite rather
than merely integrate families; to respond
conscientiously to our environment; to live the day as a
last opportunity to live; to defend human rights
whenever the need arises; as parents, the need to bless
our children always and never curse them; to live an
exemplary life worthy of emulation; as children, to
listen to their (so-called illiterate) parents; not to be
envious of other people; as couples, to love
wives/husbands and the extended families as we
interact with ourselves; as neighbours, to be our
brother's keepers; as strangers in foreign lands, to act
as we would do at home and as children of God , to
fear God.

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My “uneducated” mother, Tomire, lived by such
considerations throughout her life-time - a legacy of
which I am a direct beneficiary. I particularly dedicate
this chapter to womanhood as a whole.
Because our mothers tolerated what are called the
“excesses” of their husbands, most modern day
married women claim to be wiser than their 'stupid'
mothers. This is moreso because such mothers
stoically tolerated other women's children, especially in
a polygamous setting. Some so-called modern woman
ridicule their prdecessors for not alienating their
mothers, fathers, sisters and relations but rather drew
them closer for harmonious living.
My mother's life demonstrated the absolute need for a
woman not only to look beyond her husband's but carry along
every member of that family. That was what my mother did in
her life-time. She demonstrated that a married woman should
equally remain an active partner-in-progress in her parent's home
for life while bonding her own children with her husband's
extended family, rather than separate them. In short, my
mother proved that in a heterogenous family, the
woman should seek and work towards total unity and a
loving ambience in which all the children would grow
without undue affectation.
My mother's life revealed that contrary to the
wisdom of man, God's purpose is served in all human
sociological relationships and that in the upbringing of
children, what should matter is not their mothers'
selfish interests but those of the children, which the
mothers should co-operatively work towards. The
children's life should be the center of the daily
324
supplications to God because, as my mother
demonstrated, “what you sow is what you reap”.
From such understanding, I have developed a
philosophy to work according to His pre-ordained plan
for my family (poly or monogamous), by yielding to
His will to beneficially enhance our interrelationships
as we make the voyage of life.
If my late mother had wanted me isolated from all
the homes to which I belong, she would have
succeeded to do so. If she had wanted to turn me
against my father, step-mothers, brothers, uncles,
sisters and aunties, I would surely have become their
enemies. If she had chosen to unsettle my home, she
might equally have succeeded. But her aspirations
and way of life exuded the spirit of unity, harmony and
love. Throughout her life-time, she was a true lover of
God and humanity. For every aspect of life, my
mother had a clear vision. Her goal for us her children
was to see us all glued to God, fully educated in the
Western way and fully integrated to our extended
family. She did all she could to realise those goals in
our lives.

My Mother's Rewards On Earth Tomire and Her

Career

In her smoked Fish/Meat trading, Tomire excelled

to the extent that her offerings became the most
preferred in the whole market. In the African setting,
it is customary to identify mothers by their children.
325
But in my mother's case, as indeed in other rare
situations, my mother was known by what she did -
fish selling, “Mama Eleja”!

Tomire & Her God

On her relationship with God, she initially served

the traditional gods, and according to her, “’with the
whole of my being”.
When she switched over to Christianity, she
testified 10 years before her death that, “ My God,
whom I have served, has revealed to me my rightful
place in HIS heavenly home”.
As already stated, Tomire brought all her children
(and grandchildren alike) and virtually all her people
closer to God. She was a devoted member of Christ
Apostolic Church; she preferred to be buried at the
cemetery. That's what we did when her time came!
Every Church she attended, as the journey of life
took her around, she was ever in the forefront of
positive activities and she kept at it even until about
three years to her death, when her diminished physical
ability prevented her from doing so.
Her faith superseded the application of drugs to
curing any form of ailment. So the only option left for
us to make Mama accept any orthodox medication was
to assure her that “the pastor had prayerfully sent it to
her”. Whatever my readers might call our tack or
attitude, I don't mind but I used the ploy consistently
until she lived to the age God had ordained for her!

326
Family Unity

Another unique profit Tomire bequeathed in her

lifetime was the total unity of her children and their
families. She was happy dying in such a successful
circumstance. Rewardingly, she died in the hands of,
and before the very eyes of Mrs. Mary Owoeye, her
younger sister - Bosede's daughter as well as her own
grandchildren - Olumide, Sola, Sunkanmi, and
Tunbosun. She died the day, my younger half-brother,
Remi, saw her last! Mama passed on at 11.40 p.m. on
20th November 2002! Remi had given her the last
monetary gift she would ever receive here on earth a
few hours before her death! This again is instructive
for women who would rather do everything to separate
half-relations without realizing the evil they might be
sowing: the denial of happy moments at crucial stages
of people's lives! My mother thoroughly enjoyed all
her children from the other women while she lived,
even at her dying moments and even thereafter! My
mother proved that it pays to love!

Family History

To prove her sense of history, Tomire dictated to

me her (paternal/maternal) family history which she
traced as far as her memory could recollect. This
history was authenticated by her Uncles, siblings and
all those I approached for verification. She tried all she
could to take me down to Aisegba Ekiti, her cradle, but

327
I failed her in this respect. My consolation is that
Folowosele, her brother, knows the place.

Tomire and Her Town

Tomire was so much in love with her beloved

town, IYIN EKITI, that she never wished to live
elsewhere throughout her life. But she had to come
and settle with my family from June 1985 and
remained with us until her very peaceful transition on
November, 20, 2002!

Tomire & My Family

All women should observe and please learn from

what my mother did to my family. While with us,
Tomire bequeathed the virtues of love and selfless
service. She nurtured her grandchildren in the way of
the Lord by taking them to Church always. She prayed
for them unceasingly, day and night. She cooked for
them and helped them to-and-from their schools every
day. She regaled them with unforgettable folklore
stories.

Our Periods of Worry

Day in day out, Tomire grew older and older and

the old age symptoms set in. It started with over-
eating. Her appetite for food suddenly became
insatiable. She no longer fit into our usual three-meals-

328
a-day program. Rather, Tomire ate many times as we
gave her food, yet, ever asking for more.
My observation however was that much as she ate,
rather than increase in stature the opposite was the
case! She became smaller and smaller physically by the
day. Two years before her death, she started
experiencing memory loss and became very emotional
while her speech became less and less co-ordinated.
She behaved like a baby - full of emotions and
expressed such either by crying at the slightest
provocation or by engaging in prayers. Her reaction
time to everything became slower and slower by the
day but with some sort of determination she still
continued to walk into the kitchen to search for food
or to the lady's to ease herself or have her shower.
However, many a time, she had to be supported back
to her room.

Our Trying Times

With her rapid physical and emotional

deterioration, like a baby, she needed more intensive
care. We had a problem here. We could neither
envisage nor procure the kind of nurse with the right
disposition of patience and hardwork for her
condition. But as if by divine intervention, a good
neighbour, Mrs. Odufunwa, without prompting from
us, offered to assist in getting a capable hand that
would give Mama the best attention she needed at her
age.

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Eni Olorun Steps In

My initial apprehension was whether Mama would

ever accept or take food from a stranger, for she was
very mindful of things of that nature, or even tolerate
the regular company of anyone she had not been used
to. In faith, we allowed Mrs. Odufunwa to bring in a
woman by the name of Mrs. Bolarinwa (whom we
called “Eniyan Olorun” - a godly person - coined out
of her own usual response to people's greetings).
True to Mrs. Odufunwa's assurance, Eni Olorun
became equal to the task. She was affectionate, hard
working and neat. She, appearently, understood the
psychological needs of elderly people and how to make
them happy. Being also a prayer warrior of the
Mountain of Fire Church, Mrs. Bolarinwa's MFM-style
(and untiring) prayer pattern found a kindred spirit
with my mother's CAC mode and praise singing.
Happily too, Mama enjoyed the food prepared for her
at the regular times served. She was taken on a stroll
twice a day, an exercise she loved too. My mother was
so impressed that she began praying for her nurse and
thanked us for getting her somebody like Eni Olorun.
Whenever Eni Olorun closed in the evening, the
children would have arrived from the school and
thereafter the entire family would continue her
responsibility until the following morning. Then, my
cousin, Seun Obolore, joined our household.

Seun Step In

330
 Seun, a young girl, bubbling with energy, zeal,
great affection and extra-ordinary love of old people,
took charge of my mother. Indeed she became our
version of “Eni Olorun” in the evenings. Seun
obviously enjoyed what she was doing which finally
conquered my mother's long pathological fear of being
neglected at old age. When she was still agile, my
mother would hold my hands and pleaded with me and
my wife:
“Yemi, Eye Olu (Mummy Olumide), please take good
care of me, and, by the special grace of God, your own
children will take good care of you”.
Her statement always moved me and I was glad
that finally my mother's expectation was fully met by
both Mrs. Odufunwa's Abolarin (aka Eni Olorun) and
my energetic 'daughter' (for she is more to me than a
cousin), Seun Obalore.
I remain eternally grateful to both women for their
labour of love and pray that God in His infinite
goodness will not only meet them at their points of
need, He will give them long life and provide for them
similary in their old age. Let me also appreciate my
nephew, Emmanuel Ibitoye and my cousins (or permit
me to call them my daughters) - Janet, Eunice, Busola
and my Uncle Julius' wife's brother, Kazeem, as well as
my nephew, Biodun Jimoh, and my sister-in-law, Bola
,who, during their stay with us, cared very well for my
late mother. I also appreciate my Auntie, Mrs. Mary
Owoeye, in whose presence my mother passed on.
They all shall not lack in Jesus Name. Amen!

331
Madam Comfort Omogbemile and Her Children

Two more persons need to be appreciated here

too - a mother and her son. They are Late Madam
Comfort Sefinatu Omogbemile and her son, Julius.
In my entire maternal family, Late Madam
Comfort Omogbemile was the only person my mother
was closes to and comfortable with throughout her
lifetime. Madam Comfort was indeed a very
considerate and affectionate woman. All her children
too took after her character and they have been reliable
and very trustworthy too. Madam Omogbemile, like
my mother, was a uniting force on her side of the
family. She had no time for petty talks. She was very
hard-working and so are her children. This
development reinforces the English saying that unless
for a special agent of dispersal, the fruit must always
fall by the parent tree! IF A WOMAN IS GOOD, IT
IS MOST LIKELY THAT HER OFFSPRING WILL
BE GOOD. That is the case with Comfort
Omogbemile.
Madam Omogbemile's active role concerning my
mother's care spanned two decades! Maybe Tomire
would not have actually lasted as she did but for the
remote and direct contribution of this good woman,
Comfort, to her life.

Julius Saved My Mother

Perhaps my mother would have been dead long

before I became capable of supporting her but for
332
Comfort's son, Julius Omogbemile, whom God used
to preserve her life.
Ten year's before I was able to bring my mother
down to Lagos to live with me, a period when she truly
deserved to be 'weaned' from the hard labour she
endured to be able to survive, Julius had actually taken
her to live with him and his family. That was shortly
after he got married himself. Because Julius actually
grew up with my mother, he saw my mother as his.
That hour of my mother's need he saw as his
opportunity to reciprocate my mother's good work in
his life. Julius practically did everything a good son
should do to a good mother for my mother. He
properly fed, clothed and sheltered her. He did all
these when I was a nobody in life and with the whole
of his heart. That is why I have said that people would
always remember a good turn whenever they are in a
position to repay it. Any woman who scatters the
membership of her husband's family is only destroying
the bases of her own future comfort!
My mother spent ten years with Julius (1975-85)
and that was a blissful period in her life. Julius
effectively held forth for me until I could shoulder the
mantle of responsibility for my mother's care.
Julius effectively played vital leadership roles in my
maternal family. He was a force to reckon with.
Highly affectionate, he was a man ever forging ways to
keep the family together. Apart from my mother and
father and Uncle Israel, Julius was my role model in
terms of working for the unity of our families

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Afterwards, my mother eventually joined me.
Whenever she went home, she only stayed with Mrs.
Comfort Omogbemile, Julius's mother. Comfort was
the only person that could cook to my mother's
satisfaction; she was both her confidant and
companion because they understood each other very
well.
When old age began to set in, Madam Comfort
was never irritated with mother's old age-induced
childish tantrums or incoherent presentations. She
behaved to my mother throughout like a truly
affectionate daughter and took good care of her unto
the end.

Also, her daughter, Busola's contribution to

Mum's care was equally extra-ordinary. Throughout her
ten-year residence with me, she continued the good
work that her mother and her brother started and
stood by Mum like a direct daughter!

Oluwasanmi and Felix, her sons, also were not left

out of the outpouring of affection and care for my
Mum. Auntie Lydia, her first daughter and Dayo, her
third daughter, were to my mother, true daughters!
They paid her regular visits, and Dayo took charge of
my mothers' hair-do till the tail end of her life! Can my
readers imagine the kind of a woman Comfort and her
offsprings are? Can my readers imagine the kind of
bond that was between my mother and Comfort on
the one hand and Comfort's children and Tomire's
children on the other? Ironically, Omogbemile was my
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mother's very distant cousin whom I ought not to
know but for the very loving family tie they forged and
exhibited to themselves!
To a very large extent, other people too helped:
like Chief (Mrs.) Elizabeth Adegbola (remember her,
the peace maker who was mercilessly attacked during
my change of name saga?) and her daughter, Mary
Owoeye. They, like the rest, stir an abiding deep
feeling within me. I can only hope to construct an
everlasting good linkage between and amongst our
lineages, which our own children can nurture and
maintain throughout their own life times.
As I have prayed before, God will reward
everyone and Comfort, who has already gone to glory,
will rest in the bossom of the Lord in perfect peace.
Amen.
You may then ask: what about Florence, and
Ajiboye, my mother's direct children? What were their
own roles too? My answer to that is that to every
child is given a different gift. Each and everyone of
them also played their own roles in their own unique
ways as good children of a good mother.

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 Chapter 46

I Released
My Mum To God!
Mum Was About To Go!

My father had been with us for his occasional rest for

about three weeks before my mother's transition. For
about five days before her death, Mama had stopped
eating well. I therefore resorted to feeding her with the
formula food, Complan. She responded by eagerly
accepting the little bit she could. But the volume of
her intake and its frequency wasn't to my satisfaction.
I couldn't help her either. We kept on giving her a
dose she could take. She was occasionally
uncomfortable with swallowing! None was sure when
she would give up finally. At her state, I felt bad that I
could not help my loving mother. My money, my
affection, my love, my feeling - everything that bound
us together - could not avail me to make her younger
or hold back the imminence of her passage!

My Father's Role

My father and I reviewed her situation from time

to time. In his assessment, it would be a miracle if she
lasted another week. I got the message and sent home
for her siblings and children to come and witness her
final departure. Alas, they arrived a few hours after her
passage!

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My Parting Prayers for My Mother

At 3pm on 20th November 2002, I had the leading of the

spirit to return home from where I went to pray for Mum. I
obeyed the inner voice and promptly went home. I found her
calm. I walked to her side, drew a stool close to her bed and sat
upon it. I clasped her hands and went into prayers, thus:

My Father in heaven, I thank you for your

daughter, Tomire. I appreciate all that you have done
for us all and me in particular, through her. I thank
you for seeing her through the thick and thin of life. I
thank you for granting her victory all round. Thank
you for prospering all the works of her hands. Thank
you for allowing her to enjoy the fruits of her good
labours.
Daddy, what else can I ask for? Nothing more;
she has delivered every good package you sent
through her to me and to others. You have answered
the prayers I prayed when I was very young to spare
her life for me to be able to cater for her medically,
feed her, shelter her and so on. She has lived to see me
to a point I am no longer afraid of life. She has led
my entire nuclear household to You. All these and
many more are the great things You have used Your
beloved daughter to do for me for which I shall remain
grateful to You. I hereby release her to You Lord. Let
her go! But I have one more request to make Daddy.
Since I do not know precisely the day and the hour she
would go, my only outstanding request is: whenever it
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 is time, let her transition be peaceful! This I ask for in
Jesus name”.

Everybody around chorused “Amen” and I went

back to where I came from, fully satisfied and pleased
with God, my mother and myself!

She Answered The Call!

At 11.40 p.m. on 20th November 2002, my

visionary, godly, loving, caring, affectionate, victorious
mother, completed her assignment with us on this
planet and went back to her Creator! God, I thank you
for everything - just too numerous to count!

Her Grandchildren Rewarded Her Goodness.

Yes, for her goodness, her grand children

surrounded her at the time of her death. They weren't
put off by or afraid of her dead body! As soon as she
passed on, they telephoned the medical centre we used
for instructions on how to handle her remains. They
followed the medical officer's instructions to the letter
calmly without bothering their mother! At precisely
5a.m. the next morning, I received a phone call and our
conversation went thus:

Me, Yemi: “Hello, who is calling?”

Son, Sola: “It's me, Sola”
Yemi: “Good morning Sola, how is everybody at
home? (I wasn't home that night)
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Sola: “Just to let you know that Eye finally passed on
last night!”
Yemi: “What time?
Sola “At exactly 11.40 p.m.” (Though I wasn't
surprised but I still was shocked!)
Yemi:“Oh dear!”
Sola: “Nothing to Worry about Dad. Eye has lived a
fulfilled life.”
Yemi: “Thanks, Sola, but how about the body?”
Sola: “We've taken proper care of that”
Yemi: “How?”
Sola: “We took instructions from Mr. Odumefun,
the medical officer.
Yemi: “How about your mother, how did she feel?”
Sola: “We never contacted her”
Yemi “Why not?
Sola “We believed, being a woman, she might disturb
our peace and put unnecessary fear in us!”
Yemi: “Weren't you afraid of the body”
Sola: “Afraid of our grand-mother's body?”
Yemi “Yes”
Sola “Why should we? When she was alive, she
never hurt us, why then would her body hurt us
now that she is dead. Besides, she was good to
us when she was alive. She has lived a fulfilled
and enviable life. She has lived to a good old
age. What we are seeing here (the body) is no
longer Eye that used to be with us but her
picture. Her spirit has since gone to her Creator.
So why should we be afraid of her soul-less
body - an ordinary dust material, Dad?”
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Yemi: “Ok. Thanks Sola, thanks to all of you for your
boldness and kindness to your grandmother. I
shall be with you soon”. We hung up our
phones.

On arriving home, I called my entire family

members together and prayed for them profusely. I
thanked them all for everything they did individually
and collectively. I prophesied upon their lives that as
they showed mercy, God would shower greater
mercies on them and the generations after them. I
singled them out, one after the other, for specific
blessings for which I trust God to fulfil in their lives.

The Journey to the Mortuary

The medical personnel of my Clinic (Mr.

Odumefun and his nurses) dressed and prepared
Mum's body for the mortuary. But when they (the
nurses) were about to carry the body to the waiting
ambulance, my children intervened and unanimously
decided to do the conveyance themselves. They then
collected the necessary hand gloves from the nurses,
surrounded their grandmother's body, gently lifted her
up and carefully carried the body from her bedroom
through the sitting room, out the exit door and placed
her tenderly in the Ambulance!
I thought that would be all. But then, they
brought out their cassette player and slotted in a
recorded cassette of their choice. As they vocalised the
praise songs, they arranged themselves on both sides of
340
Tomire's remains, shut the door of the ambulance and
urged the driver to drive on to the hospital. The rest
of us - myself, my wife and Mum's siblings - followed
acquiescently in another vehicle to the Isolo General
Hospital Morgue.
After fulfilling all formalities at the hospital, the
children waved aside the medical personnel and took it
upon themselves to take her into the morgue! This
they did boldly. Even I, their father, shivered in the
premises but the children seemingly took no notice of
the many other dead bodies laid out in the mortuary!
That was my first time of beholding or entering such a
dreadful sight or of entering such a situation called
mortuary! These children completed the assignment of
honouring their grandmother cheerfully, boldly,
willingly and calmly to everybody's amazement!
At the time, I introspected the body language
that flowed between me and the children on the
occasion, analysing the spirit that underscored their
wonderful performance, the source of their boldness
and the wisdom with which they had operated. My
conclusion was that God would surely compensate
them for their action of love and honour to their
grandmother. I was sure that my God would kindly
elongate their lives and grant them the grace to be able
to jointly make us, my wife and I, beneficiaries of their
large and dutiful hearts when our time came to leave
this world to meet our God! I felt fulfilled,
additionally, that my children, by their all-round
performance, have received a balanced education
certainly.
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Burial

It was time to make arrangements for the grand

burial of my mother. I had no doubt about the scale it
would take. It demanded the best of me and I was not
going to pussyfoot about it. Her burial was going to be
a very joyful one for a wonderful mother who spared
nothing for my upbringing and the welfare of her
entire family. I was going to do what a good and
dutiful son should do to celebrate his excellent mother.
I was going to deploy whatever I could afford to do so!
While these grand designs swirled in my mind, I
had this prescient feeling that the occasion would give
a fresh opportunity to my detractors to foment trouble
over the unresolved but scorched opposition to my
changing names from the legal (Ilugbusi's) to my
biological father's (Omogboyega). Already, there were
rumours that (especially) my own maternal elder
siblings, whose father's names I had given up, were
bent on disrupting my participation in our mother's
obsequies for my alleged stubbornness. My
relationship with them up till then had remained dicey
after they rejected my pleadings as to why my decision
and subsequent action were irrevocable. They refused
to acknowledge the obvious transformation that had
manifested in my life since I united with my biological
father and changed my family surname officially. For
reasons best known to them, they wanted to ignore the
overwhelming facts of my destiny and situation. They

342
would not reckon with the perfect will of God for my
life!

My Fears Were Confirmed

As I ruminated over the impending possibilities, a

woman, from Ilugbusi's family, who shared the same
apprehension with me, visited me one early morning to
express her concerns. Considering what she dreamed
about the matter, together with what she had gathered
from the grapevine, she predicted I would not enjoy
the level of co-operation I needed, especially from my
maternal sibblings. She warned me to be careful of
how I handled the whole situation and urged me to be
truly patient and prayerful during my mother's burial.
Therefore, she advised me to show extreme humility to
my siblings to achieve my expected end in the burial
arrangements. Despite the assurance from sound
advice, I was very agitated for some time. Eventually, I
knelt down and prayed thus:

“Lord, thank You once again for all you did

concerning my mother. Thank you for allowing me
and her other siblings to survive her. My Father, this
is the appointed time to prove Yourself that You are
truly my God, for this is the time that my adversaries
are waiting for. This is a weapon in the hands of
Satan. This is the time that would either make or
mar me. This is the time that will either permanently
unite or break the relationship between my siblings
and myself. This is the time that I need Your support
343
 most, for I have no wisdom of my own. You have
already revealed to your daughter who just visited me
what the plans of the devil are. It confirmed my fears.
Thank You for the revelation.
Daddy, I need the spirit of humility, I need
extra-ordinary patience, I need extra-ordinary wisdom
to be able to manage this delicate situation. Above all,
I need You to take total control; take the glory alone
and put the devil to shame, for in Jesus precious name
I have prayed. Amen”.

Then I stopped worrying and went about

doing what I had to do. Of course, at the time, I was
in the middle of a serious study programme which
would delay the burial schedule of my late mother.
I had options to consider. First, I could take her body
home for immediate burial and undertake other
ceremonies later. But I wasn't comfortable with such
plan because it would amount to double expenses on
my part at the end of the day. I settled for burying
her, once and for all, soon, because my mother had not
liked the idea of being kept in the mortuary longer than
necessary. However, there was nothing I could do than
to delay the burial long enough to complete my
educational pursuit and be able to conclude the
provisions of her burial. I knew Mum would approve
my considerations if I sought her opinion in the
circumstance. So I obtained a 'constructive' permission
from her to bury her at my convenience. This was
over four months after her death.

344
 Finally, I invited mother's siblings and mine to a
planning meeting. We discussed at length and I
pleaded with them for co-operation. I told them that I
could surrender or leave all the burial arrangements to
them and stay aloof if that would bring peace in the
family. But if that happened, I would have been
deprived of a fundamental opportunity to honour our
beloved mother, and it would remain a sore point till
my dying day.
I revealed to them that I was aware that my
mother's burial ceremony was being primed as a time
bomb to explode for some subjective reasons. I
pleaded with them to remember that nobody
(including our late mother herself) had been or was
faultless. So we had to tolerate our strengths as well as
our weaknesses. I pointed out that failure to unite to
give our mother a befitting burial would do us no
good. Rather it would permanently divide us to the
devil's advantage and to our own shame. I then posed
a question to them: “Does my changing my name
remove your blood from my veins as my maternal
sibblings?” They chorused “No!”. I went further to
ask: “Even if I continued to bear Pa Ilugbusi's name,
would that remove Omogboyega's blood from my
veins?” Of course the answer was “No”.
Again I asked: “Since I moved over to my
biological father's home, has my behaviour to you and
the Ilugbusis changed for the worse?” “Of course, no!”
they responded.

345
 Then if all these were true, did that not confirm
what I had been saying that both homes were my
homes?
I emphasised that if we allowed our emotions to
control our situation, the implication would be that we
would have succeeded in destroying the foundation
and the legacy of love and unity, which our mother
bequeathed to us all.
I concluded that my situation was providential,
which had made me the bond cementing the two
families who had no sanguinary relationship. They
should let God's plan prevail by burying the hatchet
and forging an everlasting unity for both families.
Their reactions turned positive and very open
thereafter, as they pledged to co-operate with me
thenceforth. We then proceeded to discuss the burial
programme extensively. We agreed on the burial date
and prayed for God's guidance for what needed to be
done. Once again, our faithful God took absolute
control of our affairs, so that two months to Mum's
burial, we were able to meet again to conclude our
plans together.

God's Miracles

As the burial date drew closer and closer, miracles

began to happen. My nephew, Ibitoye and I, drew up
the budget. It was really huge because we had to do
some preparatory works, like renovating the three
homes where she would lie-in-state, pay the mortuary

346
bills, buy an appropriate coffin and invest on other
innumerable burial protocols.

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 Chapter 47

My First Trip
Outside Africa
With all the activities I had on my plate, my life
had become a pressure cooker and I urgently needed a
respite. Having concluded my study project therefore,
I had time to consider, afresh, opportunities (which I
had long been offered but pushed aside) to have the
much needed leisure in a short, recuperative vacation
overseas. My younger brother and the Ajayi family,
both in the United States of America, had persistently
offered that I spent my holiday with them.
Before this time, I had a subsisting valid visa to
the USA on my passport; so I had no further reason to
decline their most recent invitation. I was therefore
prepared to make the trip to one of them (the other
had since left the USA). Always, whenever I have
planned any undertaking, God, to whom I have
constant recourse, showed His hand thereabout and
alerted me to certain or specific considerations -
through dreams mostly. This time around, about two
weeks to the date of my travelling, I dreamt that I lost
a vital but unidentified document. Since I was unable
to relate or interprete the dream, I discussed it with my
wife and we decided that it would be safer to ask for
God's guidance so that the warning would not affect
my impending travel.
With such a possibility at the back of our minds,
we were particularly careful therefore in the handling

348
of my travel documents and at every stage of the
boarding process at the airline check-in, immigration
and customs counters as well as at the boarding point
at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Ikeja,
on the night of my flight to the USA. Coincidentally I
ran into two of my colleagues at the airport, namely
Andrew Umoru and a lady with her child, whom, to
my personal embarrassment, I could not then
pigeonhole. Although she greeted me warmly, I was
too shy to ask for any clarification.
Our flight was by the Dutch Airline, KLM, and,
for me, it meant that I would have a change of aircraft
or airline in Amsterdam, Holland, for a reconnection in
the second stage of my journey to the USA.

Life In The Aircraft

In the aeroplane, we had an adequate supply of

newspapers in various languages. As soon as we took
off, I conditioned my mind to cope with a six-hour
non-stop flight in the biggest plane (as at that date) I
had ever used in my life as a means of transportation.

However, I was very much used to the Dorniers, and

the various other sizes of aircraft used by the
numerous domestic Airlines in Nigeria but the KLM
aircraft I boarded that evening appeared to me to be
capaciously intimidating! I also wondered whether it
would lift the great number of passengers that
congregated around check-in counters and their
luggages, all at the same time!
349
 Again, I wondered whether the designers of these monstrous
craft ever valued human life at all. If they did, why should they
choose the dead of night for such a trip? Supposing there was an
accident; how would the rescue experts get to the spot. These
ignorant thoughts were a product of my nervousness!
Anyway I relied on God for journey mercies, irrespective of the
time of day or the terrain (air, land or sea) or the vehicle (bike,
foot, car, aircraft, train, ship, tram, boat, etc) I might use as a
meansin such a journey. Unless God kept us, all the safety
procedures reeled out to us prior to our departure would have
meant nothing if real danger had emerged!
Finally, the Pilot and his crew began their work. We
taxied for a while on the runway and the aircraft, which
had looked to me like a dormant albatross, gained
tremendous speed and lifted off the ground rather
gracefully into the sky!
As soon as we attained the appropriate altitude
previously announced, the bell sounded and the air
Hostesses began to serve us all sorts of food. That was
good and timely for me because I had not taken my
dinner before our departure. The smart ladies, a
mixture of the young and the matured as well as some
men, were very neat, polite and prompt. The menu on
offer was elaborate and it covered everyone's taste. We
were plied continually with the goodies until I was
eventually forced to turn down every smiling gesture of
more service with a polite “No, thank you”.
As we cruised on, the pilot passed on to us necessary
journey information as to weather conditions, and
location! I was always apprehensive if the
announcements were about the so-called air bumps
350
which were a reminder of the local Nigerian flights I
had often found upsetting. So whenever we were told
we were going to encounter some, I would silently
invite “Jesus to calm them down” to make our journey
a smooth one. We experienced an occasional
shuddering but not as turbulent as I was used to back
home in Nigeria.
The television sets alternated their programmes
between film shows, flight information and the normal
CNN news. Except for the plane's throbbing engines,
I felt totally at home. I slept long enough but
whenever I was awake, we were still cruising! The
flight appeared interminable!
There was nothing to see except crystals of light as we
passed over some cities in the darkeness!
Eventually, when we we approached Amsterdam, we
were supplied the necessary customs and immigration
forms to complete.
Finally, at about 6 a.m., we touched down at Schippol
Airport, Amsterdam and everybody went their way.

Andrew, my friend, was proceeding to another part of

the USA and was not passing through JFK so we bade
ourselves goodbye. Throughout our stay at
Amsterdam Airport, our other companion (the lady)
and I lost contact. It was not until the boarding of the
flight to New York that I again noticed her and her
child. This time, we sat only a few seats apart but our
next interaction was the work of providence!

My Impressions About Amsterdam

351
 Schippol airport, Amsterdam in the Netherlands,
was something to behold for its beauty and spotless
condition. Since I was a transit passenger, my
movement was restricted to within the airport's
buildings, but from what I saw, the entire complex was
like a small town! Even then, one could see on-going
expansive improvements execution went on
synchronically without disrupting the airport's normal
operations! That was an enviable display, compared
with my Nigerian experience in less integrated
circumstances of a busy airport system.
To kill the six-hour delay for my next flight, I
happily trudged through the airport's portals for as far
as was permissible. Its entire complex, interspersed
with giant escalators that conveyed the milling crowds
of travellers and workers to the different levels of the
airport structure, worked seamlessly as both a tourist
hub and a market of all goods imaginable! The
reasonable prices of wares on display in the shops of
such a sosphisticated environment comparatively
confirmed not only the high degree of exploitation our
business people subject Nigerians to at home for the
same goods but also the operable solid value and finely
weighted system of the European society vis-à-vis our
wrecked or non-existent social system!

We Arrived At JFK Airport New York

352
 In the process of immigration clearance at the JFK, New
York, we were given forms to fill which required stating the
names and addresses of our hosts in the USA. I immediately
went for my letter of invitation from my would-be hosts, the
Ajayis, but a near nightmare began. I searched through all my
documents, emptied my pockets and rummaged through my hand
luggage for it but it was nowhere to be found. In desperation, I
alternately searched through my Nokia 910i Communicator
where I had stored the addresses and telephone numbers of my
hosts but could not locate them because I was confused over the
right entry of their storage!
I then asked the supervising immigration officer to enable
me use the public address system of the airport to contact my
hosts who were probably waiting outside but my request was
politely turned down whilst I was warned that until I provided a
specific address I would not be allowed to depart from the arrival
hall area.
All this while, I observed from the corner of my eye the lady
I mentioned earlier (from Lagos through Amsterdam) walking
up and down the hall inexplicably, until we were the only
passengers left there. Virtually at the end of my tether, I then
appealed to the immigration officer to allow me seek the
assistance of my friend, the lady! He obliged me. She responded
promptly to my beckoning and willingly and cheerfully gave her
own address in the USA for my relief. And thereafter, the kind
immigration officer completed the necessary formalities
while assuring me that he had no intention to frustrate
my passage. From my form, I was able to know that
my timely rescuer was Mrs. Edith Ibojie! She was the
pleasant lady that God had sent to extricate me from a
damning ridicule.
353
It was after I had recovered from the shock of my
short-lived dilemma that I recalled my home dream of
a lost document! That was what my merciful God had
forewarned me about, but true to His faithful nature,
He still made a way out for me in the end!!

JFK's Airport

When I had seen Schippol Airport in Amsterdam,

I thought I had seen the end of beauty but, behold,
there is no end to man's creativity! JFK Airport, like its
Schippol counterpart, is very beautiful, but bigger and
it was well lit with all the facilities working. There, the
toilets flushed, using the infrared technology that
triggers itself off as soon as someone approaches the
toilet. But, because I was bogged down with my
luggage, I was not able to tour the entire airport as I
wanted. I loved the relative ease with which its pay
phones functioned. I bought a card with which I was
able to dial my desired number once and got through
straight away! Courteous taxi-drivers offered to take
me to my destination - North Carolina, which was five
States away from New York City. I was able to pick a
trolley of my choice without touts molesting me in
pretending to help me. Everything was done in an
orderly manner! I marvelled at the neatness of the
airport and the courtesy displayed by the workers there.
My expectation of routine harshness and discourtesy to
black immigrants, especially those from Africa, was not
visible, despite reports that Nigerians, particularly, were
often so mistreated. Apart from my form-filling fiasco
354
earlier reported, I did not witness any contrary
behaviour on grounds of colour or race. Even at the
point of exit, the white customs officer simply wanted
to know what was in my bag and I confidently and
calmly told him, “dry foods, dry fish, my clothes…”.
Politely, he requested that I open my computer bag; as
I did so, he jokingly commended the quality of the
diary in it and we laughted over it. He asked me to
open one of the suitcases. As I reached for the key
from my wallet and bent down to the suitcases, he
thanked me and politely released me. Back home in
Nigeria, I knew that, even if I were released to go, I
would have had to appreciate “them” in concrete
terms.

New York City!

On the 7th Day of April, 2003, to God's glory, I

set my foot down on arguably the world's bigggest
conurbation - New York City! My journey from there
had been deliberately so planned by my hosts so that I
would travel by land across some States to North
Carolina. That was part of my presidential welcome
arrangement by them, to whom I would forever be
grateful! However, I was welcomed by a supposedly
very clear weather but which was deceitfully very cold!
When I had used a phone card to dial my host's
number, Busola and Tunde had promptly informed me
that they, with their seemingly welcoming Committee,
were nearby to pick me up shortly. Actually, I might
have literally walked into their waiting embrace but for
355
the minor accident they had on their long drive to New
York City. Soon after, they - Tunde Ajayi, Busola
Ajayi, Sister Yemi Durojaye, Daddy Onabanjo and Bro
Niyi Cole arrived and I was warmly tossed around
among them in a happy celebration of my safe arrival.
As I have never done before during similar occasions
when I had to receive visitors in Nigeria, I was really
moved on that occasion to give utterance to prayers.
With their enthusiastic reception, I felt very
comfortable. Then we drove round the city for a while
before finally arriving at Sister Yemi's apartment. It
was a beautiful house located in a quiet area. There I
had my first taste in New York City - a juice drink!
Towards evening, we left for Uncle Tayo's house in
Brooklyn, not far away from a Juvenile Court where we
passed the night.
My recollection of New York City is of a jungle
city with intimidating high-rise buildings, choked
continually with traffic gridlocks. It is a city of
contrasting features - stretches of beautiful, green-
leafed neighbourhoods dotted surprisingly with
pockets of exposed debris in some Streets.
Traffic lights and cameras were installed in all the
streets and they were effectively controlling the traffic
while, I believed, all those cameras were functional. I
could see that every driver observed and obeyed their
traffic signals. The streets were wide. However, the
city appeared to be far more choked up than Lagos in
the sense that parking slots were inadequate and
everybody parked their cars by the houses. The house
we stayed in was of red bricks externally but the stairs
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as well as the 'deckings' were made of wood - a
condition that made movement on the staircases to
creak loudly. It was a room-and-a-parlour kind of
apartment, fully equipped as an average house in Lagos
would be. I was granted the priviledge to occupy the
room (with all the household equipment functioning)
while the owner with the rest of my companions slept
in the parlour. They inconvenienced themselves to
give me comfort and honour. It was truly a
presidential welcome indeed! It is my unceasing prayer
that the Lord would continue to honour and grant
them comfort in all their endeavours. It was truly a
great sacrifice on their part, for their number. As I lay
on the bed, I observed the magnificient and high-rising
buildings, while I admired the general beauty of the
environment (bar the occasional debris here and there)
which elicited my ruminative soliloquy, “where am I?
Is this the New York City I watched in films? Is this
the New York City I had read about? Am I walking
upon the ground of New York City in the United
States of America?” When I assured myself that I was
not living in a dreamworld, I thanked my Creator for
His provision. The evening finally came, we offered
prayers and went to bed. It was a very quiet night
indeed. Very relaxing. Very comfortable!

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Our Journey To North Carolina

At about 8 am the next day, 8th of April, we

began our 12-hour trip from New York City to North
Carolina en route the States of New Jersey,
Maryland,Virginia, and finally North Carolina. Our
vehicle was alternately driven by Messrs. Onabanjo and
Tunde Ajayi. We went through beautiful and multi-
layered bridges (some suspended in the air, some at
ground level), automatic toll gates and riveting swamps
which emphaised the beauty of nature. Most of the
way comprised six to ten-lane expressways, some of
which were hewn underneath spectacular rocks or
mountains through well-lit tunnels!
Lived-in wooden houses seemingly hugged,
unprotected, the edges of the motorways in a
bewitching panorama. The trilling forests along the
way danced in the soothing breeze like a tribute to the
unadulterated environment! I kept wondering if, in
Nigeria, any sane person would dare to live in open
country as Americans uninhibitedly do. Or could one
afford to construct and live peacefully in the house
built with ordinary wood and without burglary proofs?
Would anyone risk trekking lonely places without a
consciousness about violence.
We travelled serenely and endlessly without feeling
any road bumps, nor were we stopped along the
highway or affronted by a policeman whom we did not
encounter in looming and haughty contraventions that
are the reckless order of the day on Nigerian roads. In
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America, in contrast, their whereabouts are marked
only by their cars that are parked, discretly, unoccupied
in a loud, regulatory silence! We stopped regularly at
convenient intervals at laybys for rest, without a care
that maraunders might materialise unannounced on the
scene to shake us down! A reason for the civilization in
American roads might be due partly to the fact that
there are radar cameras erected on the highways that
could spot an erring driver a long way off.
Were one to detail the level of social differences
between America and Nigeria, it would be a case of
comparing between civilisation and primitiveness. On a
personal observation, Americans are physically
generally huge, tall and fat - a condition that is
commensurate with their consumptive eating habit.
Like all Caucasian societies, heterogeneous America is a
settled and organised environment where discretion reigns
supreme. Religion is undertone, with cathedral-like churches
lurking uncelebrated, unlike the Nigerian scene which proliferates
with raucous assemblies (with apologies to their African-
American cousins!).

Reflections

As I made these observations, I wondered about the nature

of our lives in Nigeria. How have the leaders of the United
States of America been able to make things work in their
country? How and where do we start our reform or regeneration
and how long would it take us to get to their level of
development? It occurred to me that the USA was one of the
countries our leaders often retired to after dealing heavy blows of
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corruption on their own country. Didn't they see how things
work in the United States? If they did, did it not occur to them
to try to shape Nigeria practically and pattern it after the United
States of America? These and many more questions preoccupied
my mind from the day I landed in the United States of America
and ever since. I recalled how I had struggled against formidable
odds to achieve my modest status and wondered if I would not
have been a celebrated genus had I been born into the American
environment and worked as hard as I had done. What would it
then take to reorientate Nigerians for progress and how long to
grow leaders with the right and true vision? This determination
has become an obsession with me, which I have prayed would
become a reality in my lifetime.
We finally arrived at our destination - Burham,
North Carolina. My hosts' two-bedroom apartment
was neatly made of the characteristic wood, beautifully
painted in black and white outside but all white inside.
The room I was lodged was complete with
toilet+shower, hot/cold water, a roomy wardrobe, a
bedside radio and a very large bed adorned with
tasteful beddings.
I was very elated with my reception and pinched
myself for assurance that I was indeed in the USA.
Yet, the presence of cousin Busola and her husband,
Tunde Ajayi, was so familiar that I equally felt as if I
was still in my own apartment in Nigeria!
However, overriding every consideration was my
realisation that my circumstance was a confirmation of
the need for unbroken unity in family relationships.
What was being re-enacted wayout in America was
indeed a carry-over or continuation of the warm and
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endearing relationship that had been nurtured and
sustained between Ajayi's family and mine, back in
Nigeria. I hoped and prayed that the bond would wax
stronger between our offspring down the ages.
However, unlike in Nigeria where we give out
things to neighbours on arrival from a journey, I felt so
guilty that I did not come with any substance that I
could give to those good people as a token of my
appreciation!
Busola and Tunde pleasantly surprised me and
practically stayed with me all through my stay. I took
so much food and they pleased me with as much fruits
of my choice as my stomach would accept; yet the
more I thought I had eaten, the more they complained
that I was not eating enough! Busola provoked my
deep emotions when one day she observed the 'wild-
cat' nails on my toes. She sat down on the floor and
trimmed them to something acceptable to behold!
Indeed they purchased for me virtually all the things I
gave out back home in Nigeria. That was how detailed
(and much more) Tunde and Busola cared for me!

Throughout my stay, it was invitation galore to

and from their neighbours and friends all over the
place. The first person to visit me was the Ajayi's
Pastor who ushered me in with spirit-filled prayers.
My first outing was on the invitation by the Kolawoles.
This was followed by a visit to the Onabanjos, and
then the Olaleyes. On such visits, the reception was
presidential in nature. The cuisines offered made me
feel bigger than I am, for their richness and cheerful
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presentation. Every of my activities in all the places I
visited, every gesture I made and all the contrived
social do's were faithfully videotaped by the Onabanjos
(thanks to Michael who did the videographing). To all
of them and the family who later sent the processed
film to me afterwards in Nigeria, I remain forever
grateful.
On the day I was returning to Nigeria, as I was
about boarding a New York-bound luxury Greyhounds
bus, Mr & Mrs. Olaleye met me in the park and gave
me a package of assorted pomade which my family and
I used for a whole year thereafter as a parting gift!
In retrospect, I can only reconfirm my abiding
gratitude for their marvellous and spontaneous
hospitality and pray that God in His infinite mercies
will honour them, favour them, bless them, cater for
them and be everything to them forever. Amen.

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My Second Dream

Two days before I left for Nigeria, I had yet

another dream. In the dream, I travelled by train
and as I transited from one train to another, I lost my
baggage, which occurrence delayed my journey and
caused me frustration. The dream was so clear that I
was sure that my interpretation of it would be faultless.
I was dead wrong! But first, the Ajayis had
forewarned me not to accept any baggage from any co-
traveller for whatever reason and I had agreed. At the
JFK Airport, New York, I watched over my three
heavy boxes like a hawk as a result of what I thought
about my aforementioned dream.
Lest I forget, when I compared the services
rendered to its customers and the environment in
which Greyhounds Transport Company operated, I
could discern clearly the visions of our big-time
transporters in Nigeria like the Ekene Dili Chukwus,
The Youngs, etc, who are frantically experimenting on
such good ventures but efforts are being thwarted by
the inadequate environment they are in. Throughout
the night that we journeyed from North Carolina to
New York City, we had no Police Escort, neither did
we have any conductor. Except for somebody like me
who offered silent prayers before departure, I did not
see anybody around me doing the same thing.
Everybody was relaxed and the roads were well lit,
beautiful and the vehicle actually cruised! We stopped
at designated spots to stretch our tired feet and take
some snacks (whoever so wished) without any form of
363
anxiety. Our driver was the biggest person in our
vehicle and he was not only very proud of that but
used it as our marker to locate him in case we missed
our way when returning from the restrooms in an
Hotel where we stopped somewhere in Baltimore to
ease ourselves! Everything there was well except the
incident of the Cleaners who would not vacate the
toilets in time for our use inspite of all entreaties.
Eventually, my American co-travellers lost their
patience and we jointly trooped to the toilet area and to
insist on good treatment. There was a free flow of
unpleasant words before calm was restored. I was used
to that kind of inconsideration in Nigeria, so it didn't
really matter to me. However, I was impressed by the
way the American boys demanded for their rights from
the insensitive Cleaners!
In spite of this down-to-earth occurrence, which was a
touch of American imperfection,, I kept on asking
myself, Lord, why the vast difference in standards
compared to Nigeria? What is the real meaning of our
being so religious here in Nigeria when we practise
mostly the opposite of what the Bible says, whereas in
the USA, from what I observed, church attendance was
practically very low (with the blacks predominating
among those who attended) and everyone there doing
what is right and just?!

The Meaning of My Dream

As I was saying, I was at JFK airport watching

over my luggages when a gentleman, a Yoruba,
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introduced himself to me as a Pastor. He then politely
requested that I assist him to bear one of his baggages,
which, according to him, contained Bibles. Disarmed
and offguarded by his profession, I merely asked to see
his Passport. He obliged, also showing me his
Church's identity Card. They appeared genuine and I
photographed them with the digital camera of my
Nokia 7650 phone and stored them away. I forgot my
earlier pledge following my hosts' warning.
I later checked in all that belonged to me and then
added his own baggage. This bag would not pass the
electronic scanners, repeatedly indicating that
something was wrong in its contents. It had to be set
aside and I was consequently asked to wait! At that
juncture, I beckoned to the Pastor-friend and informed
him of the development. I then handed over the bag to
him. Meanwhile, the officials duly ransacked the bag
and they found a pair of brand new electric shaver,
which was promptly removed from the bag. Being a
metallic object, the scanning machine would not
tolerate it. After producing the receipt with which he
bought it, he was asked to 'go upstairs' for further
clearance. As a result, he left his remaining things in
my care. His isolation lasted until boarding began and
I had to be at the tail-end of the resultant queue.
When he showed up, the shaving kit had been seized
by the authorities.
I tell these stories of my dreams because God has
a way of revealing the future to his children in advance
to prompt them to pray and be vigilant. I also want to
validate the divine assurance that whenever we prayed,
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God always answers such prayers to prevent what is
revealed from overcoming us. It is also to point out
that whatever we do, whatever precaution we take, we
are far from being perfect and are prone to
miscalculations that are sometimes dangerous to our
well-being. I have wondered why I could not promptly
say “No” to my airport acquaintance, despite the
forewarning I had! What would have been my fate if
he had carried any of those dreaded, universally banned
items thus implicating me vicariously. May God be
praised for His continued mercies and favour upon my
life.
Because of the airline I took my return flight had
to stop-over again at Amsterdam. The return journey
was however just as good as the one into America.
The improvement was that our journey from
Amsterdam to Nigeria was made during the day
whereby I was able to appreciate the enormity of the
journey and had a clear overview of our route over the
oceans, the seas and rivers. I was able to see clearly
what the Sahara Desert truly means: a vast wilderness
starved of water supply and dotted with oases. I saw
the mountains of sand and the forlorn settlements.
How has man survived in such a hostile environment?
I marvelled at the heroic adventurers who continually
set out to cross it from one end to the other to test the
spirit and hardihood of man. The hostility of the sun
is at its severest in such landscape! After about three
or four hours of the desert areas, vegetation appeared
until it was most verdant. Finally, on the 17th of April,

366
2003, at about 7 p.m. or so, we landed safely at the
Murtala Muhammed Airport!
I was then totally refreshed to face up to my
mother's burial which had been fixed for Saturday,
26th April - a process we started in earnest.

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 Chapter 48

Back To
My Mother's Burial
Help Came from Above!

Before I proceeded on my vacation abroad, Emma

and I had agreed on a minimum budget for my
mother's burial.
The first surprise was Emma's pledge to contribute one-
third of the budget. I was then left with shouldering the rest.
Then came another miracle: my elder sister's husband, Mr.
Kolawole, unilaterally pleged a cow! In unstoppable order, a gift
of N137,000 (one hundred and thirty seven thousand naira)
came from someone who would wish to remain anonymous! My
in-laws were not left out. All these reduced our in-house
expenses and we husbanded the windfall. Those were just at the
beginning. As the day drew closer and closer, more assistance
poured in. For instance, my paternal siblings gave us a Cow!
High Chief Esan, a big goat! All these excluded cash gifts from
them and many more good people too numerous to mention here.
The very affectionate Omoobas, offered us the
free use of their comfortable house with all facilities
therein. They also supported it with cash gift. This no
doubt eased accommodation problem for us and our
invitees as much as it saved very much on hiring hotel
accommodation!
Many people, too numerous to list, gave me large
sums of money in cash and in kind.

368
 Again my only acknowledgement of their
generousity is to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for honouring not only my late mother, but
also my twin families and to wish divine control of
their own affairs.

The Wake & Last Honour

Friday, the 25th of April, 2003 was the day slated

for the wake before Mum's burial the next day. Early
in the morning of the 25th, her corpse was conveyed in
an ambulance from Lagos and the funeral procession
arrived at Iyin Ekiti at about 11 a.m. The convoy was
received by the renowned Ewi exponent “Alakinyede”
whose family appeared destined to perform at such
occasions concerning or affecting my maternal home :
his own father, I was told by my late mother,
performed the honours at my maternal grandfather's
(Olayinka's) burial!
Mum's body was taken round ceremonially in
customary celebration by the bearers, accompanied by
a band. It was a grand display and truly befitting. First,
she was laid in state in her parents' house; then to the
Omogboyegas and finally, to the Ilugbusis, where she
stayed overnight.
Two major observations amazed me during that
occasion. First, everything had been on an even keel
when my elder brother and sisters had been taking
their turns at the dancing stage. Then, when I took the
floor, the glory of God manifested more than expected
as all my children (
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biological and non-biological) surrounded me and
showered me with every kobo in their pockets, while
dancing joyously with me. At that stage, to my surprise,
people from all walks of life swarm around me
jubilating, dancing and in a frenzied demonstration of
solidarity! They hugged me collectively and
individually. The tempo of the songs and the
drumming attained a transcendental dimension and a
struggle ensued between the young and the old alike in
the attempt to dance with me personally on the stage!
I was overwhelmed at the magnitude of the
demonstration of love for me in an environment where
I had been treading with caution! At the end of the
open outpouring of affection, as I returned to my seat,
I heard one of my sisters, Florence, acknowledge me in
a proclamation thus: “Okun o, baba ewe”! (Hello,
father of children!) ; there and then, I reaffirmed my
resolve to remain friendly to children and to people
generally throughout my life.

I Am Free!

The other remarkable incident shortly after the dance

was the surprise invitation from a leading member of
the Ilugbusi family (name withheld) that I share a drink
with him, in the same cup! He tasted the drink first
and then handed the cup to me to do likewise, even
though I am not given to palmwine drinking. I
proceeded promptly to appreciate him by tasting the
wine and respectfully returned the cup to him after
which he declared
370
 “Ope, you are truly our child and lover; continue to
walk and mix freely with us. By the special grace of
God, you have nothing to fear from anyone as nothing
shall by any means harm you”.

He then openly prayed for me on behalf of the entire

Ilugbusi's family, to which everyone present elatedly
chorused “Amen”!

The Formal Union of The Ilugbusis and the

Omogboyegas

That was what God did, again, for me during Mum's

wake. The Almighty used the occasion to permanently
cement the relationship between the Ilugbusis and the
Omogboyegas! That was an occasion that formally
brought many members of both families rejoicing
together!
Chief Akinlabi Ilugbusi, the head of the Ilugbusi
family, voluntarily, in honour of my late mother,
deprived himself of comfort, vacated his room to make
the parlour free from any obstruction. He remained
outside, participating actively in the joys of the day.
His sisters, Mrs. Mofola, Gbemile and Mojisola, were
all actively involved. The Omotoyinbos, Messrs.
Samuel Ayelabola, Idowu and John, were all actively
present. The wives in the Ilugbusi's Family, their
Customary Police, actively performed their duties!

371
The Adenigbas apart from heavy cash gifts, physically
went to the market to help buy and promptly deliver all
the four cows we used during the occasion.
The Ibitoyes featured actively. Desola and Ayo with
their husbands featured prominently on all the
occasions. Bose and her partner too were not left out!
I missed the physical absence of Remi and Bunmi,( his
wife) but I must say that the husband made very
appreciable contributions (on phone) to the plans and
he actively financed the execution.
At that moment, I hoped my mother saw for
herself what had happened, for which I knew she
would have held a special thanksgiving service on the
very following Sunday in celebration (we did that on
her behalf anyway!).
So, contrary to my initial fears, God had, again, worked
things together for me and upheld the efficacy of
prayers, which I had resorted to in my hour of need.

The Burial and the Socials

The following morning, after the normal farewell

church service was held in her honour, she was taken
to her final resting place at the CAC Cemetary, along
Ado-Ekiti Road. Thereafter, throughout the day, it
was celebration galore, in which the likes of High Chief
Elemure Ogunyemi, a very famous Ekiti musician and
another young musician (courtesy of the Adenigbas)
performed. We all danced to our hearts' content!

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 The caterers from Lagos did not disappoint us
either! Their cooking was good, neat and efficiently
and effectively handled!
During our exuberant joyfulness, one miscreant
tried to mar the occasion that was (actually being)
policed from heaven, by dipping his devilish hands into
my pocket and stealing a fat envelope containing the
sum of N10,000 which had been given to me by an
Association to which, I belong. But unkown to the
thief, Angels, from above, directed the watchful eyes of
loyal young children, who loved me very much to his
malfeasance. They exposed him faster than he took
the money, retrieved my money for me first and then
dealt harshly with him. I had to plead for his life to be
spared!
That confirmed the potency of God's anointing
on my life (which he had earlier revealed to me in a
dream) that anyone who cheats or deals with me
dishonourably does so at his or her own peril! This
thief tried it and he had a taste of his pudding!
It is not possible for me to list all the names of
those who came to honour my mother, one-by-one,
for the purposes of appreciating them. Let me
however appreciate Dr. Oni, Mr. Sofowora, Mrs. Ajayi
and Pastor Wole Daniels, Mr. Dayo Awani, and all my
colleagues who trooped in during the occasion. I
appreciate their presence, I appreciate their gifts in
kind and cash!

God Gives Me a Unique Name!

373
 At about 6pm, the showers of blessings in the
form of a heavy downpour came from our heavenly
Daddy to cool us off but the children and some adults
frolicked in the rain and continued with their dancing
gyrations as if nothing was happening until about 11
p.m. when the band stopped performing! That marked
my mother's glorious end on this planet, Alleluyah!
In my quiet time, after all participants had
returned to their bases safely, I began to ruminate on
God's wonderful handling of my mother's burial
ceremony which had turned out more successfully than
anyone had hoped for. I reviewed before Him
fractious events that had reared their ugly heads,
threatening to wreck or disrupt plans for Mum's
obsequies. The situation had been like that of two
enemies trying to cross a very narrow bridge at the
same time, disregarding the dire consequence of a fatal
dislodgement in such a foolhardy scramble.
Yet, God had turned the seemingly impossible
situation around by converting the enemy's weapons
into plough shears and raging minds into co-operative
instruments. In the end, there was neither accident nor
fatality, rancour nor breach of the peace. Money
meant to ensure the presence of the police at the
occcason had been embezzeled but 'You, Father, God,
had provided our heavenly guards instead and
everything went fine.' Even those who tried the anti-
social tricks were confounded. “You provided good
weather throughout the joyful period! And above all,
the state of my health couldn't have been better!” Why
did everything work out perfectly this way?
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 God whispered in my wonderment: “Don't you
know that you are my favoured child?”
I replied: “Thank You Daddy, thank you Daddy; I
thank you for allowing me to bother You! No more
murmuring!”
I could then see how and why Abraham became
the “father of faith”; Moses “the apple of God's eyes”
and Jesus Christ, “My beloved son”. I myself had been
given my own unique identity, “favoured child”, by my
Creator! Putting aside the burden of the rough journey
of my life, which I have chronicled, have I not become
the truly favoured of God? That realisation was the
origin of the “Divine Favour” which I conjoined with
my name when registering my Legal Practice with the
Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) and which is
engraved on my letter head till date.

More messages From My Mother (as a mother-in-

law)

Women, particularly, should ponder glimpses of

my mother's biography, so they might experience a
permanent turn-around in their lives. My mother, an
ordinary rural housewife, succeeded where other more
sophisticated women (are you one of them?) have
failed. Her method was simple: she complemented the
efforts of her daughter-in-law while others, who were
wise in their own eyes, played intrigues with theirs
thereby making enemies out of them. She subsumed
herself in humility and dominated her daughter-in-law's
life with love. She transplanted subtly everything
375
about her religion, general culture, dialect and Ekiti
custom and culture to Mary, her daughter-in-law, who
hailed from Abeokuta in Ogun State of Nigeria! As I
earlier noted, Mary speaks Ekiti dialect better than I do
and she is solid with their social graces!
My mother demonstrated that it pays to genuinely
love one's daughter-in-law. She did not see them as
enemies. Mothers need daughters-in-law to enjoy their
sons! Daughters-in-law reciprocate the love that is
extended to them. If mothers-in-law abide by these
observations, they will be rewarded by God and man,
just like my mother enjoyed!
Let mothers-in-law be the one to initiate the love.
Like a loving daughter, the wife will reciprocate it!
They will treat their mothers-in-law exactly as their
own mothers! What they buy for their mothers are
exactly what they would buy for their mothers-inlaw
(did I hear someone say: unlikely, self-destruct,
indadvisable?)! Yes, the truth is that “God has chosen
the foolish things of the world to confound the wise”
(like such a person) and God has chosen the weak
things of the world (like respect, humility, mercy, etc)
to confound the things which are seemingly mighty
(our position, our wealth, our superiority complex over
the other woman, especially in a polygamous setting -
which attitude has led to self-centredness by
appropriating your husbands selfishly - 1 Cor. 1.27).
Housewives shoudn't be the bridge-breakers between
their husbands and their mothers. Instead, they should
be the bridge itself, by which mothers-in-law receive
goodness, mercy and favour from their husbands (the
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sons). There's only one life to live and God ordained
that a woman marries only one husband. There should
be no room for the spirit of selfishness, hatred and
contrariness to separate the wife from her God-given
husband through struggles with her mother-in-law. It
is sheer wickedness on the part of a wife or a wife-to-
be to wish her mother-in-law (or mother-in-law-to-be)
dead, just because she wants to have total control over
her husband. Surely the same fate would soon overtake
the wishful! Instead, mutual love is reciprocal. No
matter what it takes to achieve the desired goals, no-
one should give up. Heaven and mother-nature will
favour both parties in the end as they did Tomire, my
mother! Women (please, please and please) don't
block the chances of brothers and sisters-in-law. They
are the forest. A husband is only a tree in that forest
called family! The time brothers and sisters-in-law are
most likely to appreciate you is not particularly when
they are under the same roof with you. It would likely
be when they are out of your house. Treat them well.
When it is well with them, they will fly you across the
oceans (as I was treated in the United States of
America by those concerned) and bring you and your
children back in complete satisfaction! Even if they
don't, honestly speaking, the best way to treat them is
to do so while not expecting anything back in return.
Don't be afraid of your husband's half-brothers and
half-sisters. They are important members of your
family. Treat them as you would your own direct
siblings or the siblings of your husband. If God lays it
upon their hearts, they will repay you good-for-good.
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Even if they do not directly pay you back, the fact that
they are able to stand on their own unaided will glorify
the name of God whom you serve. That should be
something that gives you joy!
Likewise, it is necessary to advise brothers and
sisters-in-law to stop perceiving wives as slaves,
interlopers and blockers or protectresses in the
homestead. These women are your best facilitators for
any considerations from your brothers! It is foolhardy
to challenge their positions. You must realise that
wives are the next-in-command to their husbands in
the affairs of the nuclear family - not, I repeat, not you!
They are neither subject to your whims and caprices
nor your assault! Whatever you do to them are actually
done to her husband, your own brother. Reflect on
your own future situation in like manner: would you
tolerate any such mistreatment or disregard? Your
brothers' wives are capable of determining or shaping
your future. They have the key to your brothers' hearts
and even to their souls. Your only weapon to win their
trust is by co-operating with them rather than try to
lord it over them! The way you choose to relate with
them determines whether you are a loser or winner.
That attitude ensures how you enjoy your brothers!

My Mother's Cousins Reciprocated Her Love!

Because of her good examples of love, she was

very much loved by her Uncle's son (Julius
Omogbemile) with whom she lived for over ten years
in Ekitiland, preceding her coming to fin ally settle
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with us in Lagos. He remained solidly with my mother
throughout her life. His mother, Comfort
Omogbemile, also reciprocated my mother and she
was close to her throughout her lifetime. Busola, the
daughter, did the same with Mum until her dying day!
All these are the so-called 'extended families' that we
the modern-day people, treat with condescension or
outright contempt! Where love exists, there is no
demarcation or limitation in relationship! Likes, they
say, attract likes, good-love attracts good-love and evil,
evil too!

Tomire, My Children and I

Tomire, my good mother, yearned and prayed to

nurse my children (I being her last born). God granted
that prayer. She lived until my last child was about 11
years old! These same grand children she had prayed
and waited to nurse, (and did nurse) reciproacated her
'nursing', and they nursed her joyfully even in death!
Mum lived to enjoy the fruits of her labours to the
maximum possible limit. She lived a fulfilled life and
she testified: “precisely what I wanted, God did for
me”. What will your testimony be? As I earlier
postulated at the beginning of this book, I couldn't
wish for a better mother, even if I were to come back
to life again after the current one has expired!

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 Chapter 49

My Adversaries
Proved Wrong
Difficult to Write!

Writing this chapter of my life was a most difficult one

for me, not for any sudden loss of the ability to do so
or the lack of what to say.
First, as I detail the encounters of my life, I wish
to apologise to my paternal brothers and sisters for
breaking my oath of silence. I also admit that it is not
in the cultural heritage of the African to aggrandize
about himself and his exploits, which is normally left to
posterity to relate. So, I had to break my paternal
family's unwritten but established protocol of doing
things in anonymity. I hereby humbly tender my
unreserved apologies for breaking the golden rule,
bearing in mind that useful lessons are being given,
which cannot be learned otherwise, for the edification
of the noble human struggles as they manifested in my
paternal family and as they affected me.
Secondly, the point at which I write this chapter
became the point I was also mired in the scandalous
statements and reactions that followed my change of
paternal name. As a result, I had resolved never to
open up on that chapter of my life in order to let
sleeping dogs lie. Alas, because of the need to

380
compare and contrast issues of life, I have, reluctantly,
to make reference to the case, which I had once closed.
While my change of name had my desire to align with
God's own arrangement for my life, adversaries had
manufactured several damaging and unrelated reasons for my
action. Many had become 'prophets of doom' who openly and
falsely predicted that the Omogboyegas (my real biological clan)
would stop at nothing until they killed me!
My reaction to all the insinuations was to go to my
Creator in prayers thus:

“Lord, You know why You have ordered the journey

of my life this way. I thank You because if You had
not been my support, I would not have lived as long as
I have lived. I have continued to wonder how I was
able to survive the pressuers of life I had been subjected
to from my very beginning. I have lived some miserable
life simply because I was subjected to the tradition of
man rather than Yours ordained for my life.

“Now I have come into Your own divine arrangement

for my life to bear my biological father's name. Those
who have not shared my sorrows but would stand up
and mock me at the end of the day if I failed to act
now, have turned around to predict death for me just
because I would not toe their way!

“Daddy, blood is life; if that is so and, truly, it

is the blood of Omogboyega that flows in my veins,
then let not my adversaries triumph over me. Let them
not succeed in turning my brothers and sisters in the
381
 Omogboyega family against me. Let our love for one
another, which has been true, remain so and firmly
established. Above all, let me live to declare Your
glory. All this I ask in Jesus' Mighty name.
Amen”.

With the foregoing background, I was tempted to

write without the embellishment of my sundry, sour
experiences. I would have simply written when I was
born, which schools I attended, where I worked and
what my present situation was and, maybe lyingly, that
I had become independent! I would not author such
trash, such fantasy which offer no benefit whatsoever
to any readers. What would matter is the exact
chronology of the series of the good, bad and ugly
events of my life and how I surmounted them all to
become somebody of substance and relevance. That is
why I here present the thick and the thin of my life.
The essence of this decision is for everyone to realise
that life is not all a bed of roses or to put it simply:
everyone of us must encounter his or her own challenges and no
matter the degree of such obstacles one faces in life, one should
never give up hope. I believe that revelations, such as I
have experienced, would encourage them to weather
the storms of life.
Accompanying the effervescent joy of taking the
bold step to reconcile with my biological father, God
has opened the windows and doors of heaven to me.
Before then, I lived in bondage but ever since I have
lived in total freedom. With my father and his
immediate family, I have a coterie in whom I have no
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limitations at all and with whom I enjoy absolute trust
and faithfulness.
Providentially, they have also extended their love
to my maternal side and all who concern me. This all-
inclusive disposition has been attested by my maternal
siblings who have invariably requested me, whenever I
visited home, to convey their gratitude to my father's
people for one good turn or another.
When my mother died, apart from Emma's
unilaterally huge burial undertaking, the financial
contributions from my paternal siblings (my brother,
my sisters, their wonderful husbands together with the
other Omogboyegas in the diaspora) accounted for not less than one-
third of my own huge total share of the bills. Not only that, their
presence with me during the period was total in spirit and deeds. Those
who could not be present physically, kept up a constant intercourse with
me by phone, such that their presence was immaterial.
At a particular period when I had a trying time with my career, they
prayed and counselled me from all corners of the globe - a wonderful
response that kept me on track to secure God's favour in the end.
As I stated much earlier, at the zenith of my congested academic
pursuits, my paternal younger brother, Remi and his wife, Bunmi, were
one of the two families (the other being the Ajayis) who had invited me
to the USA to have a deserved rest. But, inexplicably, I was never able to
honour their own invitation. Nevertheless, constructively, I regard them
as the first people to fly me outside the shores of Nigeria.
No matter the harshness of my environment, I ended up being
favoured wherever I turned!
All these happenings therefore support my postulation that love
transcends everything in life and God's favour has nothing to do with
geographical, ethnic, sexual, religious and other limiting factors
whatsoever. All the accounts given above were just but a few out of my
very positive encounters with my paternal siblings. I will dwell a little bit
more on this in the next chapter.

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 Chapter 50

My Visit to Norway
I had another opportunity for overseas travel and
relaxation after Mother's obsequies. Happily, it was a
fulfilling reunion with my younger brother, Remi, his
wife and children, Bunmi and Fola, who had relocated
to Norway.
The opportunity came in November, 2003 and, as
usual, my flight out was by the KLM Airline, via
Amsterdam. We landed at 6 a.m after a six-hour, non-
stop flight from Nigeria and, barely an hour later, our
change-over flight from The Netherlands (Holland) to
Noway, across the North Sea, was a kaleideoscopic
overview of unspoilt nature. It was a beautiful stretch
of natural waters as well as an architecture of man-
made dykes, aquiducts, well-tended agricultural farm
lands and hordes of diary farms and cattle in a
choreographic, slow motion! To the West, one could
see the stringy outline of Great Britain, enveloped in
the vapours of the swelling waters of the North Sea.

The landscape of Norway itself was curiously

familiar: the rocks and mountain formations were like
those in my home town, Iyin-Ekiti. I was particularly
struck by a mound of rock that looked like an exact
replica of our own “Oke Esa” back home in Iyin!
The only stark difference in the environment of
Norway was the almost total absence of black people.

384
For starters, I was infact the only black passenger on
the plane from Amsterdam, in addition to the fact that
the flight stewards/stewardesses spoke only their own
Norwegian language except when they had to speak
English to me while serving snacks.
However, soon after completing the immigration
and customs formalities, I was in the happy embrace of
my beloved brother, Remi. It was exhilarating to
experience a re-enactment of the meeting of the
Omogboyega family in a foreign clime!
For all practical purposes, Norway is virtually
enveloped or buffeted by the Sea. And perchance, its
shoreline was a display of shops and yatchts. The
streets of Sola city where Remi lived were beautifully
tree-lined, paved up to the buildings, which were full of
shops. The air was pure and fresh but extremely chilly,
although I was swathed in appropriate clothing and in
a heated car.
When we got to his house, Remi and Bunmi, little
Fola and a sister named Mowa equally gave me an
enthusiastic welcome. I could hardly do justice to
Bunmi's sumptuous services, for which I (with
apologies) disappointed her and virtually everyone in
the house most times. Since my U.S. experience, I
have found that I could only take two meals a day even
though I could consume almost limitless amounts of
fruits including apples.
Norway is an ideal place for holidaying because of
its peaceful and quiet ambience. Everybody and every
activity went on quietly. Although there was a railway
behind where Remi lived, its utility was unlike my
385
rattling experience back home in Lagos, Nigeria,
where, at the Oshodi suburb in which I had lived, the
passage of a train was fearful, as it kept residents on
the alert. Whereas in Norway, the passage of the train
was virtually sound-proof: a vibration, a caressing
tremor echoing at high speed, clean beauties of
outstanding engineering design and streamlined luxury
apartments, along routes that are secured from human
invasion!
Another impession worth noting about the
Norwegians was the dedicated manner they kept their
history. I visited the museum at Sola City. Its treasure
was not just artefacts and sculptures but also records of
the working of nature: of things above and beneath the
ground as well as exploratory simulations that altered
the physical formations of the universe.
A common feature in their transportation system
was the straightness of the routes - rail or road. The
people apparently operated on the principle that the
straight line is the shortest line. The result is that no
route was ever diverted by reason of a physical
impediment such as mountains or rocks! So, roads or
railways were tunnelled through them, even if they ran
the entire length of any mountain range to the desired
destination!
This phenomenon took my mind back to the
situation at home where roads and railways were
snaked round every physical confrontation, so that
trains moved at snail speed and road travel became
unnecessarily long and hazardous. I wish I could bring the
Norwegians to Ekitiland in particular where mountains needed
386
to be tunnelled, not only to make our roads safe and straight but
also to give it the tourist attraction it deserves. I wish I could
invite them to come and do something about “Akannasan'', a
particularly most dangerous, double-bent, hill with a deep valley
which continually swallows so many lives and properties and on
which, rather than adopt the Norwegian way, we have wasted
millions of naira sacrificing to the man-made gods, whose
appetites are insatiable, even as I write this book!
I wish I could bring the Norwegians to “Oke
Idanre” in Ondo State to come and make the work of
nature manifest through their unparalleled skills in
tunnelling through rocks!
During my Norwegian tours, the excellence of
Caucasian life was re-enacted everywhere: automated
trade and commerce, unbroken conventions of life and
evidence of why the people would never again have to
pray the poor man's mantra, “… for our daily bread”.
There were no congestions of any kind, the school
system and the learning environment were proficient
and humane, and there was order everywhere. One
could only surmise that in these circumstances, the
menace of social miscreants was inconsiderable.

I was also impressed about the state of Christian

worship in Norway - at least, wherever I visited. The
churches were sedate and the provisions for worship
outstanding. Particularly, the sermons preached by the
Pastor were deep and constituted food for thought.
Healthwise, their medicinal value of water therapy
was a legacy I took away. Rarely would they prescribe

387
drugs as a health remedy. The frequent medical advice
was drink, drink and drink water!
The Norwegian practice in water therapy actually
gave me some more understanding in the Christ
Apostolic Church where the therapy plays a prominent
role in their solutions to problems, which are presented
as miracles!
Another observation I made in the Norwegian
System is the policy of leaving on vehicle headlamps
during broad day light! On inquiry from my host, I
was informed that the vehicles over there were so
designed that their headlamps came on immediately the
ignition was switched on so that drivers did not bother
about forgetting or remembering to do so at night or in
darkeness!
The banking system was beautiful - no
congestions whatsoever and new notes were freely and
continually issued. Electronic banking made life totally
easy, such that cashing was a 24-hour daily service.
Like in the USA, there were no police checkpoints
or road blocks. Yet the policemen did their jobs
effectively well. Traffic lights and radar monitors
equally dotted their motoroways as in the USA.
After two weeks of such wonderful idealism, I
returned to Nigeria. I had firm reasons to be grateful
to my hosts in Norway. I was particularly glad that
despite the doomsday prophecies of detractors about
my biological fatherhood, the Omogboyega was the
family, which had taken me, first constructively to the
USA and, second, physically to Norway - which most
relations never do for their family members.
388
 I thank God for all my paternal siblings: Florence,
Comfort, Desola, Dunni Adenigba, Remi, Ayo and
Bose. So also do I thank God for our wonderful
wives, Mary and Bunmi Omogboyega, who are in no
small way instrumental to the happenings that
cemented our relationship the more. I can only pray
that we will never cease to advance the frontiers of
love and sense of unity among our clan. Amen!
They have all challenged me to good works and by
His grace, I shall endeavour to live up to that billing.

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 Chapter 51

My Spiritual
Growth
Back To My Beat

The issue of how to get back to active

participation in Church activities had become a
recurrent discussion between my wife and me. Yes, we
were willing but our daily schedules were so busy or
congested that we could not work it out. We just
could not get around the problem!
But this uncertain period of our devotions came
mercifully to an end one afternoon during one of the
rare services we attended. At the appropriate point in
the service, the names of those who were considered to
be lax or lukewarm in the affairs of the Church (other
than financing) were announced. My name and my
wife's were amongst them and we were accordingly
'sentenced' by Pastor Fabiyi, to undertake a Workers-
in-Training Class for three months!

Good, But Hectic Training

As stated elsewhere, I had done a Workers training

once in the RCCG, Iba Estate, during the tenure of
Pastor Obed Akinmulewo. So, I did not envisage any
stress at all but with Area Mummy Fabiyi leading the
class, I was proved wrong!

390
 The first sign that the training would be different
was the detailed Manual on it. It was unlike the
conventional RCCG's training Manual. We had two
very dedicated teachers: Mummy Fabiyi herself and
Sister Ayo who was quite caring, firm and loving too.
But Mummy Fabiyi added to those qualities: strictness,
punctiliousness and extra-ordinary pushfulness. By her
very nature, she was a got-getter who would not
compromise on anything to achive results!
Our first lessons included the history of RCCG
and its doctrine. As a research student, I loved this
because it gave me further authentic information about
the origins of RCCG. The roles of a worker, his
attributes, and many more other things were laid bare
to us.
However, three messages sank deeply into me:
first, we were nobodies and we should therefore
subject ourselves to the service of the Lord with
humility.
Second, the training was a 'charater-moulding
course' and, finally our vision as followers must be
subsumed to that of the church to avoid confusion. In
other words, our visions should align with that of the
leadership of RCCG. We studied the book of
Nehemaiah thoroughly and wrote a full test on it
before our graduation into the Workers' fold.
Let me at this juncture appreciate all my Pastors:
Okanlawon, Oluwaniyi and Wole Daniels (and their
wives), particularly for showing understanding during
my academic pursuit which virtually took me away
from the Church most times. I also appreciate Pastor
391
& Mummy Fabiyi for being the people God used to
uncompromisingly restore us to our spiritual beats.
For this reason, I consider the Fabiyis to be our closest
spiritual mentors.

My Ministry or Specific Callings

As would have been dicernable from the

beginning of my story, I do not pursue any cause
without a clear vision of it. My spiritual calling has
been similarly treated.
Though, for the most part, I have found church
attendance and work easy as I have stated before. In
view of my tight official and private schedules, I did
not want to be too actively involved in church
activities.
But whateer my own considerations, God had His
own plans for me. It was soon clear that He wanted
me to serve Him and nurture His children in faith
through my teaching them His word, so they would
grow spiritually. Initially, I did not catch the vision and
so concentrated exclusively on my private agenda.

I Had A Revelation

Dreams, prophecies and revelations have largely

shaped my life. Those closest to me, like my late
mother and my own wife, were some of the
instruments or agencies in this development. Because
of them, I took everything in good faith without
question, and their reality was constant and self-
392
fulfilling even till date. I do not detail them here
because they are my private relationship with my
heavenly father, not for fear of any other
consequences. But I can reveal that over 65%of the
prophesies revealed to me by a Prophet through my
late mother have come to pass, and the rest are yet to
manifest.
However, I would advise my readers to try to
develop their own visions. While prophecies are
acceptable phenomena of life, they should not be
allowed to pre-occupy one's life. Otherwise, anxiety
over them could lead to unholy acts that could prove
ruinous to life, the Macbeth's example!
My readers may say: “but nobody has prophesied
concerning me.” That is not true. God did that amply
in the Holy Bible (Deut. 28:1-14) and many others.
Therefore, God's purpose for every life, including
yours, is to prosper and it is to lead you to an
“expected end”.
That, in itself, is enough prophesy for a spiritually
matured person. If you claim it and prayerfully work
hard towards attaining it, you will obtain God's plans
for your life.
However, I am tempted to reveal here just one of
my own and one of my wife's dreams seeming to rally
around my spiritual callings.
While I was attending LASU, I withdrew from the
Holy Ghost Nights. Neither did I attend the Church's
Annual Conventions. Indeed, my spiritual life almost
went totally dry.

393
 But surprisingly, that condition did not stop God
from giving me revelations in a dream! I think we
human beings tend to want to see God from the
punitive aspect but my life reveals to me that God is a
merciful God. Whoever He has decided to favour, He
will not withdraw from, even when he or she is in
critical condition or even running away from Him!
That's my Father!
That night, I dreamt and I saw a lot of people
searching for me all over the place. Eventually they
located me. I asked them why they sought after me so
fervently. They replied that the General Overseer,
Daddy E.A. Adeboye, had sent them to look out for
me wherever I was. I asked why? They replied that
there were some issues concerning the children that
needed urgent attention and that only I would be able
to resolve them and for that reason, Daddy Adeboye
had sent them to fetch me and that I must come down
urgently to attend to the issues. For that reason, they
insisted, I must go with them for they could not return
to Daddy Adeboye without me! They did not allow me
to offer any reason(s) why I could delay my coming
and in that process, I woke up!
It is pertinent here to add at this juncture, that my
wife had previously dreamt years before on an issue
relating to my spiritual calling too. In that dream
(which she narrated to me) she said that she went to
our former Pastor, Owaseye, for prayers to resolve a
very burning issue concerning her life. And on getting
there, the Pastor simply burst into laughter. As she
was wondering why, Pastor Owaseye, according to her,
394
referred her back home to me saying that she already
had a Pastor as a husband and that the annointing
upon him (her husband) to break such yokes was
greater than the one upon him.
She woke up that morning and from then onwards, she
started addressing me as “Pastor” even before she
narrated the dream to me! I considered all these
happenings as pointers to something about God's
direction for my spiritual life. But then the issue of
when and how remained unresolved for I did not want
to venture without a clear direction.

Interpreting The Dream

Then, I began to wonder what God meant for me in

the dream. I meditated upon the dream for a very long
while before I got an idea of what God meant for me.
That was when I realised that God had a calling for me
in the Children's Ministry. However, the issue of
timing, that is, when to take up the mantle was also a
crucial issue because God speaks well ahead of time
about His servants. I needed to seek guidance as to
the nature of involvement God had ordained for me.
Was it to preach to them directly as a Childen's Pastor
or to go into the project of writing books on the
Gospel for children? I needed counsel to work out
these details for me to make the right judgment in the
matter.
Towards the tail-end of our programme at the
Workers Training, we were required to choose a
Department we would like to function in. We were
395
advised that it was important that our choice should
tally with our callings or talents so we would flow well
in such Departments. My dream made it possible for
me to quickly identify that I rightly belonged to the
Children's department. I chose just that and became
committed to that cause. My joy is that I am enjoying
them and the children approach me from time to time
to say that they have enjoyed the way the Holy Spirit
has been using me to teach them.

I Became an Associate Minister!

I received a pleasant shocker on the 2nd day of

January 2005 when I was elevated to the position of an
Associate Minister in my Church! That was my first
New Year gift from God Almighty through my Area
Pastor, Fabiyi. The elevation has been a great
challenge and an acknowledgement of my growth in
His vineyard. It is quite honourable to be called to
serve God and I look up to him to fulfill His callings
upon my life despite my very busy secular assignments
that sometimes threaten my health!
In the circumstance, I have realized that I need to live a
stricter and more disciplined existence, as well as adher
to God's unflinching guidance, support and assurance
to succeed in the assignment he has given us.

Mary and I Became Deaconess/Deacon!

It has pleased God Almighty, eight months on, to

again lift my wife and I in His vineyard on the 1st day
396
of August, 2005, when we were formally ordained as
Deaconness and Deacon respectively! As we sat
anxiously waiting to be invested, I was moved to check
out the meaning of the words “Deacon or
Deaconness” in my e-dictionary. It was defined thus,
“a protestant layman who assists the Minister”. My
new status now makes it compulsory for me to totally
subject myself to my Minister(s) in my local parish or
wherever they may be. So it is a call for mandatory
service. Previously, I could dodge or abdicate
responsibilities but now it is spiritually irresponsible for
me to do so in His work!
After the ordination, I chewed on how I would
successfully cope in the face of my various challenges
and responsibilities in my tough secular world, but, I
was again buoyed up by the provision in Psalm
119:36-37 which says,

“Bow my heart to Your testimonies, and not to unjust

gain. Turn away my eyes from seeing vanity; in Your
way give me life.”

I was relieved, and realized that He who ordained

us during a Convention titled “Excellence” will surely,
inspite of our human weaknesses, grant us the grace to
become excellent in the assignments he had mapped
out for us to perform.

The Challenges

397
 As I desired to be more relevant in the things of
God, however, I suddenly discovered that the
incompatibility between my office location and my
abode squeezed me in between and made it difficult
for me to move as close to Him as my desire to do so
was becoming more and more manifest. As I struggled
to balance both assignments, my health started to
experience unprecedented depreciation almost on daily
basis!
This development threw a big challenge to me. I had
two options: one, resign my appointment and face full
time Ministry where I had been assigned a major
responsibility or change my location by moving my
house closer to my office. Either way, I would face
new sets of challenges.
It was obvious that I was mid-sea as far as family
responsibilities were concerned. With three children in
the Universities and another in a private secondary
school at JSS2 level, I needed to be cautious in taking
such a decision without proper consultations with God
and man. I was yet to conduct proper feasibility
studies on my proposed next line of business- legal
practice combined with writing.
Careerwise, I was still mid-way into my career in my
office and it appeared opportunities still abound here
and there.
Above all, I had not received any specific direction
from God to relinquish my secular career to a full-time
ministry; so whatever decision I took, I must be
prepared for the consequences which will also affect
every member of my family!
398
In the midst of all these considerations and seeming
confusions, early in the morning two weeks before the
end of December 2005, my wife and I engaged in
fervent prayers to our God thus:

“Our Father in Heaven,

We thank You for how far You have helped us as a

family. We are grateful to you for giving us direction
in everything that we do up till now, what we are
doing and what we shall be doing in our future.

Daddy, we are in a dilemma. Our present place of

abode is not compatible with our office location. We
waste upwards of three-and-a-half hours to return
home from our offices every evening, making it
impossible for us to be effective in Your house. We
are tired of the low-cost normenclature attached to the
Estate where we reside. Our health is being adversely
affected daily. Psychologically, we are so unsettled
even as to think right!

Daddy, since we cannot yet resign our appointments

unless you so directs, our simple request is this: please
relocate us to another place where we would be able to
gain more time to serve You and to live happily
together as a family. Certainly, we cannot continue to
live like this a life, which makes us to be neither here
nor there in Your house.

399
 Daddy, please interevene in Jesus' name we pray.
Amen”

Surprisingly, precisely three days after these

prayers were offered to Him, God answered our
prayers! He granted our requests beyond our own very
imaginations! On the 27th of December, 2005, barely
a little above one week after our prayers, God relocated
us from a low-cost housing to a place far above that
level! We now have time for family altar every
morning and evening! Mary and I now get to work
earlier and return home earlier to attend evening
services in our nearby local church without stress!
God accelerated the process of our movement such
that we hardly had time to go into long stories telling
our neighbours that we were moving. We only
managed to hint them of our decision at the eve of our
departure! That's the nature of this Merciful God that
is our Father and to whom all glory and honour must
return for everything He did for us!
Another implication of our sudden move obviously
necessitated our relocating to another Parish, which we
are trying to do as I conclude this book. It would not
have mattered much to anybody if only we were
ordinary members of our local church but as Ministers,
it meant so much to our previous local parish, RCCG
Healing Porch! This is more so because of our
seeming relevance to the service of God in that Parish.
It is also the more painful because we were forced to
leave our spiritual mentors, Pastor Fabiyi and his very
active and spirit-driven wife, Tola. We are going to
400
miss them so much! We are leaving them, painfully, at
the time they thought we had settled and at a time they
were keeping watchful eyes upon our steady spiritual
growth. They give us direction every now and then and
encouraged us where other Pastors would have
discouraged us!
We are going to miss our very good friends too,
the Ministers and various friends, (the Ajibades, the
Bellos, the Durosaros, the Hicks, the Bodundes, the
Fadairos, the Onamusis, the Idokos, the Antos, the
Bonas, the Olorunnowos, the Osedahunsis, Sister Ayo)
and all members of various departments (who had
virtually become our family members but whose names
are too numerous to record in this book).
I am particularly going to miss the close to 40-
membe r Blessed Men Society, which I happened to
lead while Mary will miss the Excellent Women
Society. We, both, of us shall miss the Children's
Department where we had served at one time or the
other. We will miss every one of the lovely children in
that Department which is closest to our hearts!
We shall miss the entire congregation where we had
worshipped and served God precisely for 10 good
years, and a church which, according to history, started
as Home Care Fellowship in the sitting room of our
previous house!

To avoid missing all these people, first we had

toyed with the possible idea of remaining in Healing
Porch Parish indefinitely but we discovered that if we
did so, we would neither be here nor there as the same
401
traffic jam we ran away from would make us to operate
as, if not worse, than it was previously. We would miss
virtually all mid-week services! If we worshipped at
Healing Porch only on Sundays, we would not be
relevant wherever we worshiped within the week as we
would not be able to participate fully in their activities.
Since RCCG Church is within the 5-minute-treck to
our new abode, it is better to be more useful in the new
area than to be less useful shuttling between the old
and the new!
As for the impact of our missing our loving Area
Pastor and his entire family, we believe their joy would
be fuller if, after leaving them, they continue to hear
good reports about our spiritual progress wherever we
are and for us all to be rapturable. For this reason, we
are comforted.

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 Chapter 52

My Secular
Callings

It will be an incomplete story if I only talk about

my spiritual callings and leave out the physical ones.
The fact remains that every human being is imbued
with both the physical and spiritual attributes and it is
imperative that he or she should recognize and nurture
to full potential, both aspects.
I must admit that God has been very kind to me such that
He does not hide from me His chosen path for me at any point in
time, not minding the state of my overall social background.
My physical callings have been very clear:
continuous academic pursuit, to be a Lawyer with a
focused advocacy for the underdog, to be a prolific
writer on inspirational issues such as they affect pre
and post-marriage, child upbringing, youth
development, poverty, wealth creation and the need for
people to have vision. As to vision, God has given me
a clear picture of what to do to contribute meaningfully
to make my family and parents, sibbilings, friends,
town, society and country better than they are.
In my work situation, I am more inclined towards taking
up issues of social engineering, which directly impact people's lives.
That is why I am more on the human side of enterprise - Human
Resources - with a focus on Industrial Relations, Recruitment
and Training. I just love such work. That is why I never feel
dissatisfied with whatever I do that will lead to the solution of
403
people's problems. That is why my two professions; Law
and Human Resources Management, are seemingly
patterned after my very nature to my pleasure!

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 Chapter 53

Music and
My Life
My readers will wonder, what's my business with
music? Am I a musician? What's so special about
music and what direct linkage does music have with me
as a person or how is it related to my story?
I have promised, right from the beginning of this
book, that I would go beyond the ordinary boundaries
of the usual autobiography. I did say I would stretch
its frontiers to the inspirational domain. This is why I
touch so extensively on every topic I have since
covered. It is a story that blends theory with practice.
All the things I write about apply to you as they do to
me.
Secular music has become so controversial in the
Church, especially amongst those with intense religious
beliefs. There has been the recurring question:
“should a Christian listen to secular music?” I have my
clear views. My readers do have theirs too.
We should exchange our views and experiences so that
those who are still in the 'tunnel' would see light.
On the positive side, good music is the soul of life.
Good music is like the good books we all read for our
spiritual, academic and professional examinations.
Good music is a tonic. Good music reawakens a
dry or (even) dead spirit. Good music gives hope to
the listener and it not only reduces anxiety, it is a

405
therapy for psychological illnesses. Good music could
be a direction to our lives, and an energy booster. It
helps the blood to flow and regulates our heartbeats.
Good music supplies a quick and sublime access to the
Lord Almighty. No wonder, King David sang his heart
out to God, thereby becoming the man after His heart
(whom He rewarded by giving him unending
inspirations). Till today, the book of Psalms is arguably
the most spirit-lifting segment in the Bible. God loves
music and cherishes it. The Bible tells us that even
Satan was once the Choirmaster of God before pride
brought him low.
God enjoys good music.
Human beings have followed suit. It is remarkable that
even newly born babies react to music. For instance, if
your baby is disturbing you anytime of the day and
nothing else has worked to calm him or her down,
please look for a good gospel or cool music for the
baby. You will be amazed at its spontaneous calm
down.
Music removes boredom and like football, it cuts
across all barriers (racial, space or belief).
On the negative side, bad music corrupts the body, the
spirit and the soul of a man or a woman, boy or girl. If
you would corrupt the generations after you, play
corrupt music to the unborn. Through it, pass down to
them immoral messages, let them dance to it naked in
the street and do so with abandon. In no time, nobody
will remember God anymore.
But I have chosen to be tremendously and positively
impacted by the good musical works of good
406
musicians. That is why I am so taken up with music.
Don't ask me whether it is gospel or secular please.
Music is inherently good and does not per se engender
contrariness. Its lyrics are however manipulated by
men to debase or descend to immoral or unacceptable
tunes and levels!
Good music is good music. There are some
gospel as well as secular works that are lacking in
creativity and the power to pass the elevating messages
and feelings. There are the copy-cat musicians who
add no substance to the renditions and they are many
in gospel music. I do not enjoy abusive and or
immoral music too because they do nobody no good.
I am also concerned with the stuff my musicians are
made of. For instance Fela was a giant in the music
industry. He was a profound and relevant social critic
with his beautiful music and engineered an enduring
and distinct genre of music but his attack on religion,
especially in one of his works titled “Suffer suffer for
World”, though beautifully packaged, definitely
impacted negatively on our youths because it tended to
make the youths and the unwary adults alike tend to
think that all our religious leaders are cheats and that
serving God does not have any positive role to play in
influencing our moral attitudes. It would have been a
perfect work if he had removed those offensive words
portraying pastors and Imams as people enjoying while
the congregation suffers. That he did not believe in
God does not in any way nullify the importance of
religion to our lives. (I hear you say but it's a fact for
us all to see!) Yes, I agree but good Christians or
407
Muslims are not responsible for the level of poverty in
our society. It is the bad leadership, and the fact that
they bear John, James or Ismaila or Fatai does not
necessarily qualify them as good leaders.
The world would have definitely been a worse place to
live in if the religions were not there and if their leaders
had not been passing on all the moral messages to the
populace over time!
Indeed, there are Nigerian musicians who have left rich
veins of wholesome music for the society, like the late
Comfort Omoge whose works brought out the best
heritage of Africa, Onyeka Onwenu (Ekwe, One
Love), Mike Okri (Awo Omo Alaigboran po nile
iwe…), Late Jim Rex Lawson, Victor Uwaifo, Sonny
Okosuns (Who Owns the land), Adewale Ayuba (Baale
Ile Yi Eweso), Late Haruna Isola (B'obinrin dara bio ni
wa), Late Jim Reeves (This World is not my home), Ipi
Tombi and Oliver de Coque - to mention a few. I
don't understand the language or dialects in which
some of these musicians sang but the contents of their
works are highly moralistic and life-moulding.
In the early 70's, King Sunny Ade's “Alaanu l'Oluwa”
(The Lord is Merciful) gave me hope that God would
have mercy upon me. Today that hope has been
fulfilled. His “Baba Jen'tegbe” (Father, make me head)
passed a serious message to me that I must work hard,
earn enough money to be a true head of my nuclear
family and to be very relevant in my extended family
and even my society at large. What he said about the
married man who, blinded by poverty, had to
accompany his wife to beg bread from her lover was an
408
eye-opener to me that a man who lacked money was an
unacceptable victim of an intolerable fate!
In his latest release he says: “Boko ra teru, k'ale ra
sanyan, oko la maa ki ku inawo Ase danu ni t'ale je”
(Let the husband buy his wife cheap materials while the
concumbine buys the same woman expensive ones, the
husband that receives the commendation; concubines
are prodigals!). Sunny has passed a frank message to
our men who would abandon their homes and spend
lavishly on strange women. Such are the messages
good musicians should pass across to their audience.
Because of religious bias, here and there, it is only
secular musicians who can reach out to every segment
of our society.
In his desperate moments,KSA sang “Esu biri biri
ke bomi ooh, Iwaju lo'loko nwami lo ehin l'oloko
nwami lo emio mo o” (please rally round me, I know
no more the direction of my life!). Whenever I am
desperate, I did cry this kind of cry to God. We all
have desperate moments and at relevant times such
music elevates us to higher grounds. “Eniyan laso iyi
mi ti mo fi nbora”(people are my clothing which gives
me warmth). These vital messages emp hasise the need
for us not to live in an isolated world.
Jim Reeves, even in his grave, has continued to
remind every living soul by no means, that this world is
not our home. It is instructive and a reminder to us all
to take life easy.
Dr. Orlando Owoh's “Masika” (Do No Evil),
“Asaro Elepo Rederede' (the wicked woman who in a
polygamous home attempted to kill the son of her rival
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but erroneously poisoned her own child) , 'Bopo
Bariwa l'ode won a wowa tembelu” (those who look
down on people should desist from doing so) - are all
powerful messages to humanity.
Back home in Ekitiland, there are Ishola
Adepoju's 'Ayege Ni Nigeria…” , Late Ajoyemi's
numerous good works, King Femi Ariyo's over sixty-
two well researched records amongst which are:
“Omiye Lala” (Our siblings are important), 'Oni sun
ale kedide” ( wake up from your slumber), “Oni sare
laye nse' (we are the cause of road accidents, not the
enemy -a timely warning to our commercial drivers),
“Kan bati bani fo se loni mei gbo” (Take to good
counsel), “Bere Ko to wobe” (investigatigate your
would-be spouse before going into marriage), “Opolo
ni mei lo…” (I am creative), “B'aye baferan re” (if you
are loved, do not be puffed up), “Onimoto Rora
Wami” (Mr. Driver, drive me safely) and so on.
Chief Elemure Ogunyemi's “Ekiti Kete” (A unity
call to the Ekiti's in diaspora to identify with their
origin) “Ati Rio un ka Iwa” (we've secured what we are
seeking for), “Seranko Seniyan”, (an unstable man) and
many more good works from this highly rated Ekiti
musicin are highly instructive. Others include I.K.
Dairo's “Owuro Lojo” (make haste while the sun
shines), Ebenezer Obey's “Ketekete, Ninu Odun timbe
laye, Aimasiko Londamu Eda” (if we knew our destiny,
we won't have been in dilemma) and “Ko sogbon te le
da” (You cannot please the world).
As can be observed, I have dealt more extensively
with good secular musicians than I did their gospel
410
counterparts. That is deliberate because it is the former
that is controversial, not the latter. What is important
is to remember that both secular and gospel music
constitute the vehicle for conveying messages of hope
and a veritable instrument for resolving issues of
morality and wellbeing of the people in a famished
world by the church and the society.

In closing this chapter, I have a charge for our Gospel

musicians in particular. This charge is that there is no
limit to creativity. Rather than keep repeating songs
that have been creatively recorded by their
predecessors unamended, they should pick up the
Bible and turn every word, every story, every quotable
quotes therein, to songs themselves. They should read
story books that raise issues of good morals, they
should be keen observers of contemporary issues and
link them up to Gospel truth and release such to the
society. They should meditate deeply on touchy issues
that affect people's lives and turn them to songs. They
should research and come out with something unique
that praises God in a new and inspiring way. God
wants them to praise Him from their own perspectives,
not from the perspective of another person who had
done his or her own in the past.
Ok, nobody says they should re-invent the wheel; all
musicians, gospel or secular, if they must copy, let
them do it the Kehinde Dairo or Femi Anikulapo
Kuti's way! Copy but stamp your own authority on it
by adding something fresh and exciting! Success awaits
you thereby. Music, gospel or secular, is a lucrative
411
business. It is a distinct profession. It is a commodity
that can never saturate the market. Be creative, make
all the monies there's in it to make your life flourish!
My summary of this is that there's nothing wrong
with music that touch deeply on morality. Morality is
an issue of so its usage will facilitate the moderation of
non-believers into truth and belief.

412
 Chapter 54

Overcoming
Poverty

Average Syndrome

“…If you aim at achieving the average, you don't need

miracles, signs and wonders. But if you have decided to be
outstanding or to fulfill your God-given destiny, then the
Lord will give you miracles, signs and wonders. What do
we mean by average? It may surprise you that a rich man
is an average man. When you look at the entire spectrum
of wealth, you will find various compartments. At the
bottom of the ladder you will find the poor. He is
somebody who cannot make ends meet. He is like the
widow with her last meal. After that meal, she was to
expect death. This class includes the jobless.

The comfortable comes next. This refers to the one who

makes ends meet but has no savings. At the slightest
emergency, he is reduced to the level of the poor. Before the
month ends, he has gone a-borrowing.

The third category is that of the rich. Those in this group

have their needs met with additional luxury. They may
have a million naira in their account. The problem with
those in this category is that they brag about (it) as if they
have arrived; whereas, a million naira when converted to
pounds sterling is just about £4000.

413
 The next category is the class of the wealthy. Thse are so
rich that they can afford to put some millions in fixed
deposits for, at least, six months.
At the upper extreme is the class of the flourishing. These
are so rich that they lend to nations. God wants to take
you to the level of the flourishing. But you must determine
never to be average any more.

Action point: Reject the tendency to be average and ask

God to make you enter the class of the flourishing.“

Source: Pastor E.A. Adeboye's “Open Heavens” Daily

Devotion of Tuesday October, 11 Vol. Five, 2005

“I tell people that poverty is a choice and not an accident!

You're the architect of your wealth or poverty because both
come from inside of you. When you are ignorant, you will
most probably be poor. … poverty is the inevitable result
of ignorance. Poverty doesn't have anything to do with the
state of your birth. It has nothing to do with your father,
mother, family background or the neighbourhood in which
you grew up.”

Source: April 11, 2005 edition

of Pastor Chris Oyakhilome's
Daily Devotional Booklet,
“Rhapsody of Realities”.

Liberating Myself

414
These notable men of God Pastors Adeboye and
Chris Oyakhilome, actually expressed what I have
believed since I was young. I stated this similarly in the
introductory page of this book.
A cardinal vision of my life is one without poverty.
I hold the same vision for my nuclear and extended
families and for all those I would come in contact with
somehow in my life. It is a legacy I want to bestow to
humanity.
I am ready to conquer the monster called poverty,
which is my greatest enemy and that of man generally.
Poverty and I are not compatible. So, from my own
generation onwards, by the special grace of God,
poverty will have no place in my family any longer.
Poverty is not limited to lack of cash in hand. It
includes poverty of ideas or its management. It has to
do with intellectual poverty by way of being an
illiterate. Many of us are already rich and (we do not
even realize it) ignorant!). Poverty and ignorance are
twins!
However, my conquest of poverty will be guided
by the will of God, and diligence. I will not do it by
resorting to short-cut or contrary methods. I will only
engage myself in anything godly, anything legal,
everything ethical, anything good, anything transparent,
anything verifiable and considered fair in the process
of hacking down this enemy called poverty. My
method is going to be exemplary to all who will ever
fight to rid society of poverty.
God created all human beings equal but it is
poverty that has created classes in degenerating order,
415
and it has led some otherwise good people to anti-
social behaviour in society.
To effectively fight poverty, one has to identify its
root causes. One cause is definitely poor thinking and
lazy disposition. Most people believe that wealth will
drop into their laps without effort or by mere wishful
thinking!
For this reason, most Christians, who routinely
engage in fasting and praying dutifully, live careless and
planless lives while they wait for God and governments
to make them comfortable in life.
My observation about Nigeria in particular is that
God has blessed us with abundant resources, both
human and material. So He has done His good bit.
But our ignorance has left us poor in the midst of
plenty through our own (individual and collective)
choices.
Individually, we have failed to be realistic in our
approaches to life while our leaders have themselves
failed us by manifesting all sorts of ungodly
behaviours, mostly selfish leadership and corrupt
practices in running the affairs of the country.
As a result, we are mired in anti-social behaviours
that do not task our innate ingenuity and
resourcefulness but which bring quick gain
nevertheless: gambling, commission agency, '419',
surrogate money-laundering and other levels of sharp
practices. Life should not be so. Every facet of our
lives should be planned purposefully and judiciously
managed. We are lazy in managing our finances, our
marriage, our spiritual lives, our careers, our health, and
416
so on. I wonder how we would analyse our lives
without creating and maintaining a consistent database
for our transactions including our incomes and
expenditures.
Again, the truth is that every naira we have is a
seed. Where we plant it and how we nurture it to bear
multiples of fruits matter very much. But alas! We are
irresponsibly wasteful in our spendings. An average
working person should be able to assess his total
worth, his net worth, his liability as well as his overall
incomes and expenditures, which constitute his assets.
If we are lazy at keeping records, how can we assess
our self-worth?
All these failings lead us to poverty. For instance,
we are even so planless that we get married when we
are not prepared for family responsibilities! Because
we do not want to experience pain, we pursue pleasure
as our primary objective. Admittedly, there are
problems that are not directly ours like our parents
who produce more children than they could cater for,
thereby foisting responsibilities on their innocent
offspring right from their cradle. But often times, as
soon as we acquire money, rather than partner with our
wives to pursue common goals, we go for unrealistic
and grandiose ones. We make emotional pledges that
we cannot redeem. We spend money carefreely,
thereby creating wrong impressions of the statuses of
nouveaux riches. We lavish money like confetti at
social occasions to which we are invited as if we grow
money trees behind our houses! We acquire wasteful
properties needlessly, and self-injuriously try to please
417
everybody - our families, friends, community and so
on, for self aggrandizement!

I Am Guilty of It Too! But…

I was once entangled myself in this life of false

living. I found myself being continually out of pocket
no matter how much I earned and not knowing where
the monies went. But sometime, in 1987, in
exasperation, and in an attempt to find a lasting
solution to the problem, I decided to check how much
income I earned in kind and in cash and my manner of
expenditure.
I did this on a daily basis. Then, as a second leg to my
enquiry, I prepared a questionnaire for an anonymous
earner but who was actually myself. I distributed
copies of the questionnaire to 16 members of staff
under me at the time. I requested them to provide or
fill in answers that would enable the desperate earner
to live within his income.
They dutifully completed the forms and after
collating the results, I analysed them to the best of my
ability. Two things came out of the analysis: first, my
income was far below my expenditure; second, I had
been spending it wastefully on things that had no value.
Lastly, I was 'giving out foolishly'. At that time, I was
living in a room-and-parlour apartment, which I
foolishly (in the name of love) over-crowded with
extended family members to the detriment of my
immediate family.

418
 In fact, we were 12 persons living in the apartment
at 21 Osemeka Street, Orile Iganmu, Lagos, then!
Certainly that was no way for a principled man who
wanted to eradicate poverty from his life to live! In my
foolish and do-gooder behaviour, I had been forced to
such a situation that I could not feed well anymore and
resorted to harvesting pre-mature cassava tubers from
my undeveloped plot of land for food
supplementation!
Anytime I remember this period (1989) of my life
as a married man, I always thank God for my wife
whom He gave me, because she bore all my excesses
equably even though she possessed fewer than four
good dresses in her wardrobe!
One day I had to apologise to her profusely for
my foolishness. Though we agreed to continue to help
our extended family members but we also resolved not
to do so at the expense of our nuclear family. So we
made the necessary adjustments.
Over three years, we were able to reduce the
population in our house to seven inhabitants in a
humane manner that did not hurt those affected. But
their population was still too much for our levels of
income. So finally, I secured a separate
accommodation for my wife and I, leaving the five
other persons in the old apartment. For two years
thereafter, I still paid the rent for two of those left
behind. But it had been a painful period for me,
particularly for my wife but she had borne everything
with equanimity.

419
 Today, while still helping extended family
members to the best of our abilities, we do so outside
our nuclear setting, not permitting more than a
maximum of three persons to live with us at any given
period. This strict rule has been uncomfortable or
unpalatable to prospective beneficiaries, and I
understood why. People loved to stay with us because
they believed we could influence their lives for the
better! We loved that too but there has to be a
boundary, otherwise they would kill the goose that lays
the golden egg and that will be bad for the goose as
well as her keeper. So, we have had to put our foot
down without looking back!
Naturally, we are still prone to wasteful spending
in some other areas but it is now due to the occasional
failings of the heart, not thoughtlessness nor
carelessness.
I had tried to play 'god' attempting to meet
everybody's needs. But I nearly killed myself in the
process. Now, I have since realized that those I had
sacrificed for would have lived on, regardless of my
ultimate fate. Now I know what 'help' means. It
means “an occasional assistance based upon needs that
would add measurable value to the lives of those being
assisted”. It is obvious that there is a thin line between
'help' and over-indulging people. Everybody must be
prepared to work with his own hands to become
economically independent!
With the new understanding, I can distinguish
between 'must-do' and mere 'desirables' in do-goodism!
I apply the same principle with my own children whom
420
I have counseled to realize early in life that they would
not live with us for ever but that, God willing, at
adulthood (25 years old or a little while beyond that), if
not on their own already, they should be on the way to
being so.
By God's special grace, as I write, I appreciate the
fact that I now earn well, though not well enough - for
I still resort to (thank God for the opportunities)
obtaining loans - credit purchases here and there to
meet some essential needs which are capital in nature.
However, I am grateful, for my level of earning has
made me to be credit-worthy in the first place and
suffices to the extent that I don't have to borrow
money to buy food anymore!
Also, having put the issue of shelter behind me, I
think I am on the threshold of Maslow's Physiological
Needs Theory or Pastor Adeboye's Comfort Zone
Theory, which marks me for nobler pursuits like what
Pastor Adeboye calls the rich, the wealthy and the
'flourishing zones'. The flourishing zone, is my
ultimate goal. In that zone I would pay higher than
10% of my income as tithes and make other huge
financial contributions to the furtherance and
upliftment of the gospel and humanity in general
without struggles and pain. At that zone, I can build
churches, establish viable Trust Funds for scholarships,
sponsorships and other charities which would impact
positively upon my immediate and distant
environments. That is my petition to my Father in
heaven and once granted, I would be able to leave this

421
world much better than I met it and die a peaceful
death!
Anything short of that achievement will amount to
a failed vision. As I enunciated at the beginning of my
life-story, I am one of the three identified groups for
whom I have a strong concern: a fellow “struggler”.
That is why I am ruled by vision.
How do I intend to get to that level? I have earlier
touched on the issues and virtues that I should
cultivate to overcome. They include a new way of
conducting my life which incorporates transparency,
honesty, accountability, budgeting (for which I have a
fast-selling book in the market, “Family Budgeting, A
Must for Your Family”) and data banking by which I
have cut out wasteful spending and indulgences.
Today, I am working on multiple streams of
incomes rather than limiting myself to a linear income
strategy, which had hitherto been the case. The
present-day economic challenges require that every
individual develops between five to ten sources of
incomes simultaneously! Unfortunately, many of us
have not got that message yet. Many parents are still
training their children for paid employment instead of
pointing them in the direction of self-actualisation and
establishing their own productive businesses ab initio.

Make Yourself Wealthy!

Many people are still captivated by the possibilities

of income through miracles instead of exploring God's
wisdom for wealth as severally revealed in the Bible.
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Such a habit is the 'ruination' of peoples. But the
African has always been ignorant due to lack of
knowledge, as stated in the Bible! Many people are still
shying away from researching into God's wisdom for
wealth which, apart from their being revealed in the
Bible, can be gleaned from other books written
divinely by great men, the internet, seminars, and so
on!
Ignorance in Africa has persisted because a large
number of the people are lazy-minded when it gets to
issues that sustain life. For instance, treasures are
hidden in the books written by those whom God has
blessed. They are in the internet free of charge-just use
the Google, Yahoo or About search engines on the
internet for the word 'wealth' or “riches”. Visit the
www.multiplestreamincome.com and drink from the
wisdom bank of the George Allen's wealth creating
ideas! By early January 2006, my website, www.joent-
ng.com would, hopefully, have been operational. You
will be amazed as to the number of resources that will
be available therein, for you freely to prosper! All one
needs are the ideas for prosperity. They are there but
we don't read them. For instance, George Classon's
little book “The Richest Man in Babylon” counsels on
how to invest money where it will produce children,
grand-children and great-grandchildren. If I had read it
and applied its wisdom since 32 years ago when I
started working, I would have most likely become a
billionaire today. Other such rewarding books abound,
if only one would seek them out!

423
 As I have stated already, Nigerians are exposed to
all the avenues to make life meaningful if only they
would take them. Apart from the Igbo people in the
Eastern part of Nigeria who practise the multiple
streams of income system, all the other ethnic groups
in the country are so contented with the linear method
of income that once it is jeopardized, calamity stares
them in the face!
So, our salvation lies in developing the culture of
reading to keep us abreast of the available methods by
which we can live our lives in the light and sound of
our Creator!
If my readers want to be rich, let them find out
the secrets of wealth creation, starting with the Bible
which contains ample resources; then read up all other
books they can lay their hands upon. If they want to
be healthy, start with the Bible too and they will find
what will give them perfect health. If they want to be
an effective Pastor, follow the initial routine and go on
to read all the literature they can lay their hands on
regarding pastoral duties. If they want to be a Lawyer,
start with the Bible, from Genesis to Malachi! Do they
know that the very first principle of 'fair hearing'
origininated from the Garden of Eden when God gave
Adam the opportunity to explain his position regarding
the commission of original sin? If they want to marry,
let them start with the Bible where they will find all it
takes to have a successful marriage. While on it, they
shouldn't fail to read the whole Book of Ruth and also
Proverbs 31:11-31 for the revelation of the roles of the
good woman. They will discover that a woman is not
424
supposed to be caged in the kitchen or she should be
the breadwinner of the family!
They may well ask, why the emphasis on the
Bible? I have since realised that it is the complete
source of wisdom and knowledge. Every true wisdom
contained in other good books is transplanted from the
Bible and, similarly, every good book - motivational,
professional, leadership, etc - is a true distillation of
the contents of the Bible too. Someone, somewhere,
had practised and preached all human habits before in
the Bible, but it is good for my readers to discover for
themselves in the Bible. For instance, every leader
whether in the home, the workplace, the Church, the
Club, anywhere there is leadership challenge, should
be thoroughly familiar with the book of Nehemaiah to
see how godliness is effectively combined with hard
work and how every distraction of the adversaries (if
you like it, enemies, within and without) were
successfully warded off in order not to disturb the
vision of re-builing the walls of Jericho.
The Bible has rightly summed it up by saying in
Hos. 4:6 that “My people perish from lack of
knowledge.”
Lack of or poor reading habit amounts to 'lack of
knowledge'; lack of knowledge amounts to ignorance
and mediocrity, and mediocrity begets poverty.
Unfortunately poverty is a major bane in the African
continent and until that is eradicated, we will not see
true emancipation. I, about whom you are reading
today, have years ago done it. Let my life story
register something in you - that you cannot fail unless
425
you choose to fail. Secondly, you cannot succeed
without taking the pain to search for the hidden
treasures wherever they may be. I will give you more
details …
As I have stated earlier, what I practise is what I
preach. I had freed myself from the grip of ignorance
by first changing my attitude to reading and the natural
and practical effect of that new culture includes the
writing of this book!
However, a cardinal purpose of this book is to
encourage readers to use what they have learned to
make a success of their lives, whatever the
circumstances they might face. I also look forward to
their responses, which would make me organise a
crucial meeting of stakeholders to discuss, or interact
on, the numerous issues that have been raised herein.
The published outome would certainly profit the world
at large.
What I am driving at is that it is necessary to
establish that in order to be wealthy, it is imperative to
earn income from many sources that couldn't be done
or achieved from receiving wages of a single
employment, no matter the additional overtime pay!
(which I discarded as far back as the late 70's) . That
has been proved from the pages of Robert G. Allen's
“Multiple Streams of Income”.
When I look back to my beginnings, my first
employment at Specomill Textiles in 1974 or
thereabout on a wage of N1.05 (one naira and five
kobo) per day and compare it to my present worth of
far more than 0.50k per second, I must say that I have
426
made a tremendous achievement which was only made
possible by God who favoured me with a clear vision
anchored upon hard work. That is the type of
transformation I wish my readers to also achieve in
their lives.

427
 Chapter 55

Eradicating Poverty
from My Family

It will be a folly and I will be self-centred to

concentrate all efforts on eradicating poverty from my
own life if I fail to carry my family and others alike
along in that race. For this reason, I have had to
ensure that I did not allow my past personal failings to
bring me down and thereby jeorpardise the fate of the
generations after me.
In the war against poverty, I have had to start with
myself, my immediate and extended families before
extending my strategy of survival to the world at large
in whatever capacity I find myself.

My Children

I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter that,

lack of moderation in anything we do is one of the
major causes tying us with poverty. That is the
underlying consideration why I resolved that I would
not bear children beyond the number (don't ask me
how many of it is immaterial) I can personally care for
conveniently. I do not favour a situation whereby,
through indiscriminate procreation, I would undercut
the children's foundations or wipe out the
opportunities for their survival and progress. First, I
want to give them a legacy of financial availability. I do
want to become a grandfather that the children and
428
grand-children would like to visit rather than one that
would be a burden to them. I am therefore investing
in their lives as a good father should do for his
children, especially through education for I am not
going to stack up money somewhere for them to
access uninhibited. When they have prospered, I will
accept 'whatever they voluntarily feel like giving me' in
reciprocal appreciation of my being a good father. I
will not create responsibilities for them. I do not only
practise it but I am seen to uphold that principle.
Second, I must give them the spiritual and
physical skills to prosper in life. I recognize that it
takes God, education and good moral upbringing,
which ensure good conduct and honesty, to leave a
worthwhile legacy for one's offspring. Such
consideration underpins my family's guiding principles
in the training of our children. In the pursuit of all
these ideals, I ensured that I provided the enabling
environment for my children to serve their God, study
without disruption whatsoever and, even at their very
tender ages, agree to the professions they would like to
pursue for a living when they eventually possess the
qualification for them.
I learnt a great lesson from what the Nigerian
leadership of my struggling days did to me to interfere
with my destiny by not providing the necessary power
supply for me to read my books, a fact that has
continued to affect the current environment of my
children! To restrict or eliminate such a situation, as a
permanent feature of their growing experience and
uplift their academic goals, I searched for acceptable
429
alternative power until I came across the so-called
'Inverter Technology'. This technology whose batteries
are capable of being charged from wind, solar or other
identifiable sources, can store power while Direct
Current (DC) is available and then supply alternative
power seamlessly whenever DC ceases or fails.
Though the provision was rather expensive, my
children's interest was uppermost in my consideration,
to enable them continue their reading without stress
during frequent electric power outages in Nigeria. I
justified the seeming stupid venture to the children and
they have considerately made the best use of it.
Another conscious effort I have made to shape
the outlook (and ensure a well-rounded education) of
my children was to make them interested in the core
science subjects - like Mathematics, Further
mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. As my
own early childhood was deprived of such priviledge, a
fact made more painful in the realisation of my
inherent vocational disposition to the scientific
approach to life, I have fought to put a stop to such a
situation in my family. So, from their kindergarten
days, I supported and motivated them to gain a proper
mastery of the seemingly knotty subjects which have
generally proved to be a nightmare to most Nigerian
students who routinely fail them in examinations.
By the special grace of God, most of our children
who have left secondary schools collected the top
prizes in the subjects.
Also, availability of books is essential to profitable
study. So it is mandatory upon me to ensure that all
430
books recommended for my children are promptly
purchased at every stage of their educational
development. Besides, my library is full of books for
guidance and further education.
In my own peculiar way, considering the depraved
society Nigeria has generally become, I have not
allowed my children to attend boarding schools in their
young years. Neither have I been tempted to send
them overseas for their education. I reckon that they
can do so later at their adulthood.
I believed that if they stayed with me in their
youth, they would reflect my nurturing and my
attributes in their persons in the end. I did not believe
in just paying school fees, I was interested in the quality
of my children or how they turn out to be. I made
them aware that I was not training them solely for the
Nigerian situation, I wished to make them citizens of
the world: to be insatiable seekers after knowledge and
Godly citizens who cherished and promoted honesty,
truth, fairplay, social justice, love and good
neighbourliness.

Serving God

I see my Creator as the God of the Family. So, I

have always endeavoured to worship Him with my
family. I have never wanted my children to be nominal
Christians who served God by rote - that is, Sunday-
Sunday Church goers who satisfied only the
expectations of society. Therefore, I have reared them
by involving them in the practical reading of the Holy
431
Bible together at family lessons, which instruct our
practical daily living. We pray together in all
circumstances.
I have shared my views, experiences and history
with them. (They were beneficiaries of the first edition
of “Better Tomorrow” when it was published in 1992).
I personally charted the development of their character
traits so I could moderate them to become acceptable
human beings. It was dangerous not to be their
constant companion during their vulnerable teenage
years, especially because the Holy Bible is emphatic
about the fact that what one teaches the youth remains
with them and shapes their characters for life! So I
watched and guided both their physical and spiritual
development jealously.
They have been witnesses to how I treated my
parents, my wife, my extended family, my friends, my
neighbours and my colleagues so that they will know
how to treat others when they grow up.
Above all, they have realised that whatever I
preach concerning God and man is what I practise. I
have taught them to follow Christ and that it is not
enough for them to treat their own spouses well when
they are married but it is also important they identified
with their extended family and played whatever roles
that would uplift the entire corporate family. They
have been taught that no matter where they might live
Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State, (which is their origin), should
remain a treasure to them. They should be part of its
development! No matter where they sojourn upon the
face of the earth may be, Nigeria, the country of their
432
birth, must remain dear to them. They should not
merely observe what is bad therein but they are morally
bound to help right any such wrong and bring about
the kind of good society they envision for her
whenever they are in position to do so.
These and many more are holistic views that will
stand them in good stead throughout life and bring
meaning and satisfaction to their God, themselves and
humanity in general. Once they achieve these, my joy
shall surely be full.

433
 Chapter 56

Eradicating Poverty from

My Extended Family
My Parents

My ultimate vision concerning my family at large is

that of total unity. I have, however, identified poverty
as the most potent weapon that can make the
realization of this goal unattainable. The blessings and
joy of the single successful family member are stunted
by the general poverty of the majority, thus
confirming the saying that a tree cannot make a forest.
In his kind-heartedness and willingness to meet
everyone's needs, he's most likely brought down
instead!
It is poverty that breeds the wickedness among
women in polygamous homes. Poverty destroys the
foundation of their love for themselves. Poverty even
precedes greed, self-centredness and all other such
vices.
I have taken out quality time to ponder on the
question: why is it that, in a polygamous home, there is
so much struggle amongst mothers to covet the best
for their own children? Even in a monogamous home,
why do children struggle so much to outdo themselves
to the point of throwing love to the dustbin?
Why do children from polygamous homes have
no problems with the children from their maternal
origins?
434
 The answers are simple: on the paternal side,
every woman wants her own group of the children to
inherit the fattest portion of her husband's insufficient
property; whereas on the maternal side, the children
are bonded, because there is no contentious inheritance
on that side of the family divide. Instead, they struggle
to inherit anything outside their common weal.
This knowledge, that I received through my personal
observation and experience, underpins my unrelenting
fight against poverty and my continuous propagation
for its destruction everywhere.

Resistance To Change

In the process of reshaping things, I know I would

step on the toes of those who would resist change, for
I will not sustain the old habit of anybody receiving the
gift of fish. I am only interested in teaching and giving
somebody the skill to fish. As I do this, I foresee the
agony of pain. Yes, it is a familiar terrain, which I will
not circumvent. Pain is very necessary to win a battle
of this nature. It cost God Almighty pain to give out
His “only begotten son”, Jesus Christ, for believers in
Him to be saved.
Jesus himself knowingly suffered a painful death on the
cross of Calvary to accomplish God's gift of saving us. For yams,
corn, oranges, for example, to produce their kind, they must first
die in their sowing or burials (pain) before they can germinate
and fruitify. For anybody to rise within or ouside a family, he
must suffer some deprivation or pain. For the persons God
435
would use to uplift him or her, they must suffer some
pains as a result of giving out to him or her what the
givers ought to use for themselves. For a place to
acquire the stutus of modernity, it must suffer
reshaping that wuld prune it of its bush edges that
make it ancient-like and retard its further growth.
Some, in their pains, might over-react and resort
to some undesirable aggression - verbal or otherwise,
but the spirit of truthfulness and undiluted love will
neutralise such tendencies.
However, on the other hand, this experience of
pain among erstwhile beneficiaries will come from
having to learn new ways of survival, totally different
from the lackadaisical past, in a difficult manner.
Expectations of the usual largesse from the former but
now reluctant “Father Christmas” will be disappointed.
As I write, I have two live cases on my hands: one,
a boy whom God has been using me to uplift
academically but who is preferring to while away the
first 30 years of his useful life without attempts to be
independent!! That brewed some misunderstanding
until I had to invite his parents to make him and
conform to my vision for him.
My focus has been to give him the necessary skill
as quickly as possible, at no cost, like expecting him to
wash my clothes or cook my meals! I have eagerly
looked forward to the day he will graduate from the
University and settle down to his own life. He, having
failed to make the JAMB requirements or secure a
direct admission to any University at about the late age
of 23 years, I had to use what he already had to get a
436
part-time Degree admission programme for him that
should begin his journey to self-actualisation.
But for the fact that he was bent on going for full-time
courses, he is unwilling to cooperate, even though I
pleased with him that my retirement is near and that I
should know when he would graduate and when he
will stop depending upon me for his daily bread.
Moreover, my own children are in the University, as
well as other serious-minded people who need
assistance (within an doutside the family). I went
further to plead with him to hold on to the part-time
programme then and that if he eventually succeeded in
obtaining full-time admission within a reasonable time,
he would be allowed to abandon the part-time for it.
He did not see things that way. He assured me that
once he was able to make an upper credit in his
diploma programme he was certain that LASU or any
other University would admit him automatically their
full-time programme. He was made to understand that
if he undertakes the 5-year part-time study admission
in his hands, baring any form of strike actions, he
would graduate at 28. With the one-year National
Youth Service, he would be ready for employment at
around 29 or 30 years. Beyond that age-bracket, he
would be risking unemployment, considering the way
things or corporate policies are shaping in Nigeria! He
was too certain that nothing would stop prevent him
from being admitted and I rested his case, waiting for
him to come up with his dream.
Ironically he is being short-sighted. He wants to
continue to seek direct admission at all costs no matter
437
how long it would take him to secure one. He is under
peer pressure and, unfortunately, nobody can persuade
him as he toys with his future. His attitude negates
what I stand for (remember my 25 year-rule?). To put
an end to our contention, I had to invite his parents
and after extensive review of the situation, my
conclusion is that if he toys with the admission in his
hands and fails to secure another one before the 31st
day of December 2005, he should consider himself
outside my care and sponsorship of his education.
That is as far as I would compromise.
As events turned out, he made the expected
Upper Credit in his Diploma programme. I was happy.
But LASU did not admit him automatically! As this
happened, I did not get totally tired of him still, I
offered to obtain for him another part-time
programme form, which was out at that time closing
on the 14th of January, 2006. Still, he wasn't keen as
he said I should allow him to conclude everything
about his alternative University admission. I had no
option than to allow him to satisfy himself. As at 15th
January, 2006, the LASU part-time form (his second
opportunity) has closed while the feelers I am having,
sadly too, does not point to the fact that things are still
difficult concerning the his expectation from his
alternative choice of University! However, on the 11th
of January, 2006, I forwarded the following SMS to his
father, and himself:

“How far with (name withheld) admission sir. He

should remain there until he gets it because there is
438
nothing he will be doing for himself or me here (in
Lagos).”
Of course he cannot return to me unless he produces
the admission letter. It takes two to co-operate
before any progress can be made. If we are not
compatible vision-wise, then our continued stay
together will produce no desired result that is, for him
to obtain within reasonable time, the skill, which will
give him life-long dependence!
Even though all along, I have encouraged my
people to live with me, it has never been for the
purpose of househelp. The aim has been to grow them
so that in our corporate families, we would rise up.
Anything short of that, I am prepared to do without
them or anybody for that matter!
In our larger family also, I have already stepped
on toes too. Unfortunately those affected are people
who have meant so much to me. It is really sad and
anytime I remember that, I am depressed!
But if I truly love them, I must not be afraid to tell
them the truth on the way our family can move
forward. If they don't share my vision, I will not
accept to go their way as I cannot be saying 'let's rise
up' while they in turn are saying 'let's remain where we
are”! I am sick and tired of the poverty-dominated
level we have been all the while. We must advance! If
anyone, no matter how closely related to me says he or
she would not advance, then my policy towards that
person would be that we shall remain family within the
concept of what I call 'general love', which does not
require over-stretching myself beyond acceptable limit.
439
If I find nobody to go along with me in the entire
family circle, first I will go it all alone and search
anywhere outside my family for people with clear
visions and who are ready to move and we shall go
forward together!
For example, much as I do not preach that people
should plan the size of their families, yet it follows
common sense that they should only bear the number
of children they can cater for by themselves and within
their limited and hard-earned resources. While doing
so, they should bear in mind, too, their need for a
preferred minimum standard of life, (why can't a family
enjoy annual vacations?), support for poor relatives and
the cost of both personal development and the
irreducible contribution to Church and society.
Otherwise, families are trapped in the vicious circle of
poverty, become a burden on society and suffer
spiritual death in the Church where they become the
subject of discussion in welfare packaging.
Because they are permanently under pressure,
their eyes and hopes are permanently pinned on the
government to provide everything free for them and
their children. They are the people who cry 'help, help,
help' without understanding the real meaning of the
word 'help' itself. To them, 'help' means 'carry all my
burdens' instead of 'I am in a temporary fix, assist me
to stand on my feet again'. Failure to meet their
insatiable demands sentences their potential helpers
automatically to the camp of their enemies against
whom scud missiles, spiritually and otherwise, must be
directed! They have no 'progress' reports; rather, they
440
have myriads of problems invoices they present to you
to settle. When they write letters, most often they
forget to ask after the wellbeing of their potential
helpers. What comes first is an unending list of
financial 'emergencies' in their lives. They have no
useful advice for anybody. They are pre-occupied with
what to eat, and their appetites are never satisfied.
Their brood of children are thereby neglected,
underfed, without proper upbringing and education,
psychologically and morally fragmented, rooted and
silted in the delta of poverty! The destination of those
children is the votex of child labour, hardship,
exposure to anti-social behaviours, which incubate
wildness and, for the girl-child, sexual degeneration.
For the boy, he grows up without supervision and
soon, becomes a menace to the society.
Any child who manages to remain intact from
such austere upbringing will need the special grace of
God to compete amid affluent peers and achieve a
worthwhile goal in life. Such a survivor would be
scarred for life and he would tend to be a difficult or
complicated partner in the home or elsewhere. Would
such a person not be better, or averse to being dragged
down again by the demands of siblings and relatives?
If he responded at all, would he not do so with taunts?
What family would spring from such a poisoned
source? How do we contemplate a world populated by
near deviants? Would such a child not find him or
herself being chased by 'the invisible enemies' from his
origins and so run away from them?

441
 To avoid the actualisation of such a frightening
scenario, I have since carried my enlightening
campaign of the ideal family to the doorsteps of my
own extended families.
I shall continue to preach the message to anyone
who would listen in my life time. If we want to step
out of poverty, we must do things in moderation. For
instance, if I want to help you to grow, I must see that
you are willing to grow. I won't make myself unhappy
by continuing to pay the school fees of a child that has
no interest in his or her studies. I do not see why I
must involve myself in building the life of a man who
would rather descend the elevator of poverty by
producing children indiscriminately. I don't see any
justifiable reason (except for stupidity of course) why I
should sit by the side of the impoverished who has
chosen not to use his or her own hands to work and
listen to his stories of woe. You must work to earn a
living and you must be engaged in a worthwile cause to
attract assistance. Your offerings must be attractive for
other sympathetic people's investment. Only such a
situation would let God minister to the hearts of His
chosen 'do-gooders' to intervene in the lives of the
truly needy.
My readers, hear this: I was once told of a story of
a Tea girl who worked for one of the topmost banks in
the country but who pretended to a sympathetic man
that she needed money to pay for her GCE
examinations. The man believed her story and gave
her the money. However, fortuitously walking down
the staircase of their multi-story building later, the man
442
came upon the same girl where she was buying clothes
with the money! That is the kind of 'wasteful help' that
some people plot. The dresses she bought would have
since been torn but if she had applied the money for
the announced purpose, her GCE Certificate would
have exposed her to better opportunities in life that
would not tear or fade! Let's assume that she even
failed the exams but she would have thereby added
value to her life having read the books. The
experiences would have improved her chances of
passing the next exams and the first benefactor might
have been persuaded by her perceived zeal to fund her
again.
Believe it or not, the truth is that our helpers do
monitor, or at least they are interested in our progress -
not only to see whether they could invest more in us
but also for personal satisfaction.

The Care of My Parents

Ever since I identified poverty as the primary bane

of life and have fought to overcome it, so I have tried
progressively to protect my parents against its ravages.
I have commensurably fed, sheltered and medically
catered for them. However, I have never allowed them
to drag me into emotional expenditures even if other
people's children do so.
I started this experiment with my late mother who
was vision-driven all her life. I thank God that for the
last 18 years of her life she spent with me on daily
basis, she was at peace all round. She lacked nothing
443
good in terms of feeding, shelter, clothing, spiritual and
medicare until her dying day in November, 2002. She
never suffered. She lived a victorious life over
poverty!
As to my father (another God-favoured fellow all
round) and my step-mothers, God has made it possible
for us (their children), to take proper and adequate care
of them

My Siblings - generally

Part of my strategy for eradicating poverty in my family

was never to engage external house-helps in my
household, not even when my family was rearing
children. Instead, I brought in my relations who were
most likely to treat our affairs as their own. Indeed our
entire corporate family benefited from this decision.
It tied-in with my resolve to do what I could for those
that lived with me which would enable them to be
economically independent in the long run. Their
domestic chores were co-incidental, not reciprocal
service. Not surprisingly, when they saw love, they
responded naturally by making my home their home
and getting emotionally, physically and psychologically
attached and involved in all that my family did.
This is why I assert that people are not created
bad. When they see genuine love, they will recognise it
reciprocate it also. Many of us have problems with our
families because we see them as outsiders. If we
demonstrate that we truly love them, they will
reciprocate our love endlessly.
444
 Therefore, my target was to train at least a child of
every sibling of mine. I made such relatives realise that
my own reward for such gesture would be for them to
respond similary to their own families and others they
would interact with in future. I also appealed to their
parents not to overburden their children by breeding
more children that would not only hamper our efforts
at destroying poverty in our families but would make a
better future a mere dream.
By the special grace of God, I have done this
successfully for my three maternal siblings. However,
the extent of poverty eradication in their own families
has been a function of how well their children followed
the legacy they received from me. I combined my
God-given teaching skills to teach them the word of
God on daily basis. They rehearsed my slogan: “it is
not what you give to me that matters, but what you
take out of my house”. Whenever they failed to
perform household cores (which was rare though), I
had no problems with that. But they knew I would
fight the hell out of them if they failed to carry out
their academic assignments or failed to read the books
I spent my hard-earned money to buy for them. The
boys were strongly aware that the moment they
impregnated any girl, meant that they were set for
marriage and that they must do so outside my house.
It would be stupid to expect me to cater for them and
their irresponsibility.
The girls also got the message that once they got
impregnated, they were ready to get married and move
in with their spouses, for the same reasons as the boys.
445
In addition, they were counselled on the consequences
of waywardness and the ample rewards of a focused
life. Since they all were fully integrated with my
nuclear family without discrimination, they lived our
lives and received all the lessons of godly life I
imparted to my own children.

My Paternal Sibblings

As would be expected in any undertaking, there

have been many successes as well as failures. The
results were a natural outcome: as in the Biblical story
of the sower, some seeds fell on thorny or stony
grounds while others germinated on good soil.
Besides, mental capacities are different; so also are
genes. But we thank God that the right orientation has
been recognised by all. The battle for a perfect world
will not be won in one generation or too soon, but
there is rejoicing in heaven whenever someone is
liberated from the shackles of this world.
As to my half-brothers and sisters (if that will
make for specific identity even though I don't like to
use the word 'half') on my paternal side, the results
have not been as canalised and profound as I would
have wanted them. Part of the loss was due to the fact
that I came into their lives midstream, as it were, at a
much later date when their habits had died hard, as a
result of initial orientations and environment. So my
effort had been concentrated on forging a like-
mindedness and understanding between us and

446
identifying in my little way with their children to
achieve common cause.
In other words, we interact as frequently as
possible, not only physically but also through constant
communication and counselling. We have a sense of
unity and there is no reticence. We throw open our
doors to ourselves uninhibited.
However, my main target is to perfectly knit our
children together so that their own unity will surpass
our own as their parents. I have particularly been
interested in opening their eyes to the menace of
poverty in our family and that they should do
everything honestly possible to ensure that it has no
foothold in their lives. This is one major gospel I have
continued to preach to them and I am happy they are
understanding the message. It is a project which I have
given them to deliberate upon and which we discuss
from time to time. The younger ones will meet us and
join the train as they grow and expand in
understanding. I want the corporate anointing for the
eradication of poverty to extend to every member of
our next generation and the generations after them
from now till eternity! They are being groomed for
research that will open them up to wealth-creating
ventures pari passu with their ongoing higher
education. This is to enable them ample exposure
academically and intellectually while my house is their
University of Wealth. I have a library full of
knowledge treasures and, whenever they are on
holidays, they resume classes, as it were, in my
'University' where they read inspirational books and we
447
discuss their contents from time to time to properly orient
them for self-actualisation and wealth creating to make a better
world. The challenge I have for them is to be their own employers
and thereby avoid the ignorant choices we, their parents, made to
struggle thereafter as worker-employee earners..
I am happy to see our children interact, especially during holidays
when as much as possible I mix with them personally to lay bare to
them my basic and utilitarian philosophy of life - an antidote to
poverty. I think I have had my bearing right and we shall all flow
together.

My Mother's Siblings

Why do I bother myself with this category of people? It is

simple. My mother's people were the trees that formed the forest in
which I was born. One way or the other, they had contributed
much, however intangible, to my upbringing. They were the people
who made my childhood a memorable and joyful one. They formed
the world in which I circulated. They fed me, gave me water to drink
and provided me warmth not only in their homes but when I was out
in the cold in search of the meaning in life. Their children were the
bushes among whom I found refuge. They were the people who
cuddled me and milled around supportively when mother nursed my
sick body. They were the people who buoyed up my mother in times
of turbulence. Yes! It was they with whom my mother shared her
innermost secrets. So, it has been easy to conclude, at this moment
of my easy street when all is well with me, that it couldn't be better to
induct them into my circle of new understanding of life. Delivering
on my life-long legacy, I have so far been able to pull up three out of
my mother's four siblings by their bootstraps. My belief has been
that trained children would help their parents and go on to train their
own younger ones. Those of them who have bought into my vision
for them are benefiting their own families already. What I owe them,
thenceforth, is 'whatever I could conveniently afford, certainly not
the burden of bearing all their responsibilities. For the one I could
not yet help, I pray to be able to do something tangible for her
someday.

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 Chapter 57

My Passions
For People
As I stated at the very beginning, I am prone to
some specific categories of people. The are children,
women and genuine strugglers (their sexes
notwithstanding). I am not committed for anyone
outside these groupings, no matter the close or blood
relationship. Whenever I see or meet this category of
concern, I instantly recognise them and we empathise
automatically.
So let us examine briefly some of their attributes,
after which I will use my wife as a symbol for the
women's group.

The Children

I feel strongly for children and their lives because

they are innocent and pure - toys and puppets that are
easily pliable wastefully in the harsh environment we
live. They have no malice and are like empty
computers which can be freely loaded with viruses at
any time. So to me, children are fragile and they
should be handled with utmost care to make their lives
meaningful.

The Women

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 They are akin to children, very fragile and very
trusting. Once convinced, they stake their totality to
whosoever seeks them. Between the ages of one and
ten years, they are like the young flower stems in the
garden. Between 12 year and 18 years, they blossom
and are full-blown rapidly.
Everything about them gives hope but at the same
time they become targets of all sorts. They therefore
become problems: to themselves, their parents and all
categories of people, especially to their male
counterparts. Soon, their parents are unable any longer
to vouch for their purity of heart. Thereafter, they
become, fully, their mothers' children and
responsibility because their father ceases to vouch for
their character. They become problems to themselves
when, with the evolving experiences of womanhood,
they soar with the dizzy feeling of the freedom to
manage themselves. So they begin to see, erroneously,
their parents as threats (some in-house rivals). They
want to take time out. They want to venture into the
world. They want to attend the night parties. They
want to belong to the group of those 'who have
arrived'. Their skirts become mini and minier. Their
blouse (these days) end high above their navel. Their
jeans trousers are worn below the belt. Some of them
go for the 'tights'. Their lips are multi-coloured, their
steps now well calculated to attract. Above all, they
become very fashion-conscious.
This is the period when boys will obey whatever
the girls say, ever trying to please them. They (the
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boys) swarm around them like bees for honey or palm-
wine. Even the grown-up men (married or not) are not
left out of the game of natural dance of life. They give
them unsolicited gifts of all sorts, which make some
girls to regard cautioners, including their parents,
siblings and well-wishers as either enemies, fools or un-
progressives. They are admired by their irresponsible
teachers who, willingly, offer them cheap marks
whenever they are ready to 'play ball'. Their steps are
now guileful. Indeed, they tempt people and people
reciprocate.
Yet the tragic-comedy of this period is that it determines
whether they will be a success or failure in life. Only a few girls
avoid acquiring permanent scars after experimenting with the
signposts of adolescence: sex, drug, stubbornness, abandonment of
their studies, dalliance in disco, entertainment life, weird fashion
and all that. Some would have even over-indulged in spiritual
gerrymandering to the detriment of their studies!
Unfortunately, in emotional matters, women are
ruled totally by their hearts and, under such pressures,
they end up in catastrophe. They are either
'accidentally' impregnated or they become so exposed
to the world of contraceptives that they virtually
become prostitutes with the attendant consequences.
Their educational status, whether they are in the
Secondary or Tertiary institutions of learning, doesn't
affect or dampen their thoughtless reactions.
It is only a few of them, who learnt on the side of
God and humbled themselves, that are able to escape
the inevitable social scourge. They are those who
listened to their parents (whom they so cherished) for
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guidance and read good books and watched films of
sound moral content. They are those who kept good
company and shared progressive views. They are they
who appreciated spiritual matters while remaining
studious as they pursued their visions.
Above all, they are those who did everything in
the fear of the Lord and in moderation, determined to
excel in life and be a pride to their Creator, their
parents and the larger society.
When they graduate into marriage, women are
sometimes victims of the battering of cruel husbands.
That's not all. They have no permanent names of their
own, unless, God willing, they are married into good
homes or are met with good fortune. Otherwise they
are victims to everlasting agony.
When they are visited by the calamity of divorce
or broken marriage, they are invariably declared
persona non grata in their own parents' homes. If they
did, as in the Yoruba setting, they acquire a name no
responsible lady ever wants to bear, “ilemosu”, which
is a serious stigma for life. As single parents, the
society perceives them as if they are irresponsible
whilst burdened by the total responsibilities of caring
for their offspring. In a man's world, their erring male
partners would have 'mended' their ways and begun to
perch unabashedly with other women in their lives.
Thenceforward, loneliness dogs their days until many
of them end up in the psychiatric wards.
Even when they are happily married, they are on
permanent sojourn. It's God's doing if their husbands
live long enough to keep their company. Even so, after
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successfully rearing their own children, their position
changes to that of a nanny, caring for their grand-
children, and a house-help to their own children! They
move from one child's house to another in a ceaseless
circle of life-long catering. If the places where they
sojourn are rosy, they partake of the joy. But if they
boil, they boil along or are boiled in cognito.
If their husbands die, even when they were as old
as the Biblical Methuselah, autopsy reports would trace
it to them as the killers of their husbands. If the
women are young, they are easily appropriated like
chattel as a remnant of the dead man's properties to be
shared. These considerations are the basis of my
passion for women. They are at the receiving end, and
they are to be pitied.
It formed the basis of my early attachment to and
sympathy for my own mother, and I thank God that
He used me to wash away all her sorrows - at least for
the last twenty-five years of her life. She died a happy
woman and I survived her a happy child! That is why I
am passionate in my prayers that, God willing, my wife
should not taste of the bitter pills women swallow. It
is why I have resolved to be unconditionally
compassionate to virtuous and genuinely struggling
women (young or old) wherever we meet - without
any strings or conditions whatsoever attached. Women
deserve good treatment.

The Strugglers

453
 I regard this category of people as those destined
to win but are faced with all sorts of odds in this world.
Male or female, their common denominator is their
undying vision and their unquenchable spirit to stay the
course of the necessary struggle until they arrive at
their goals.
They are willful, and do not believe anything is
impossible. They may be in a quandary for a long time
finding a solution but they never give up. And when
the opportunity comes, they grasp it with both hands,
use it judiciously and come up at the end with positive
results for their labours. They believe in hard work,
which they display in all situations in order to feed
themselves by the works of their hands. They are
selfless, too, even in their dire situation because they
look forward with hope for a better tomorrow - in
which time and elevation they are prepared to help
others out of their misery. They are invariably close to
God who always shows them mercy.
Above all, they understand the true concept and
meaning of assistance or 'help' and would not demean
it by converting it into an art of 'dependency' like
people I call “The Milkers”. (I shall talk about this
group presently). Left to them, they would not bother
people but the necessity for self-actualisation impels
them to do so. Whenever they receive help, they show
genuine appreciation and do not see themselves as the
clever manipulators of their seemingly foolish helpers.
The female amongst them do not see such assistance as
an opportunity to seduce their helpers, whilst the male
are forever grateful to their benefactors - whenever or
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whatever they may be or have become. They employ
their personal means fully until it is exhausted before
they would think of or entertain any thoughts for
outside assistance.
And when they secure the assistance, they do not
exploit it for ulterior or selfish gain or profit. They
respond to others in like manner, and whatever they
receive they spend on the sole purpose for which it was
requested. These are some of the people I am
passionate about. They are highly ambitious. It
radiates from them, whether they be permanent,
temporary staff, apprentices or Youth Corpers, even
Industrial Attachees: they have a common propensity
to achieve and a fiery determination to make it happen.
Whenever I see them, I court them, and reason
with them as we jointly identify their problems and I
contribute my widow's mite in genuine cases. My
assistance is unconditional. In most cases, I am able to
introduce the beneficiaries to my home where, I
believe, they would elicit more favours and ultimate
understanding from my family.
Thank God, my good wife who shares my vision
in this regard, integrates them into our family and
sometimes the outreach also envelopes their families.
We have maintained this tradition even in the face of
some scandalous detractors who have tried to exploit
the situation to disrupt the harmony of our family. It is
part of the risk in the war against poverty. I accept the
pain joyfully since it will produce rich and better
people in our society. It is for their sake and the sake

455
of women and children in particular that I write this
book to encourage them.
My prayer is that God will remain our guide to
support others to the best of our abilities and that He
would not allow the gates of our enemies to prevail
against our stand.

The Indolent

There is yet another group that I hardly talk about,

who live in our families; they are present in our offices,
in our churches and wherever we find ourselves. Some
of them are our neighbours, and, unfortunately, many
more are our own biological children from whom we
cannot run away! They are in all age categories, even
much older than us. These are the lazy people - the
drones, the indolent ones! They want to milk you to
death. They invariably twist your offer of assistance to
ensnare you into a vicious circle of exploitation to
suck you dry! And the end-result is to create problems
for others, unrepentantly. They would rather indulge
in pleasure than dare the side of life where they would
experience pain. They criticize and are uncomfortable
with any suggestion that one or they must work with
their own hands to feed themselves and bless others.
There is no moderation in their dictionary and their
voices are loud and spiteful. They peddle rumours and
make written demands always beyond your overall
budget. When they visit you, they can only tell tall tales
that signify nothing but a waste of time and boredom.
If, unfortunately, you fall prey and are milked dry, they
456
leave you, unconscionably without a backward glance
for the next victim. The trajectory of their lives is an
irredeemable disaster!
To this category of people, I owe ONLY one
thing that I call general love, the type of love that God
has for all His creation - human beings, fauna and
plants alike. He showers His rains, His sunshine, His
fresh air, His talents, His mercy, His grace and so on
upon all regardlessly, but these are only means to some
ends. They do not necessarily solve all our problems
but He owes no one any apologies for that. If you
want something extra or beyond those, then work for
it. Otherwise, make do with that which you are given.
So, what do I feel for the sluggard? Everything within
the limit of general love but I will not consider whether
my offering meets his needs or not.

Nigeria and The World At Large

I have already said so much about Nigeria in this

book. I x-rayed what I thought were the ills and the
inadequacies of our leadership and touched on my
vision not only for her general well-being but by
extension for the larger world. The way forward is
therefore simple and not far-fetched. What I have
discovered were things that happened to me, not
hearsay. Unpleasant experiences produce history and
struggling, and history, properly analysed and
harnessed, produces positive changes for the better.
So my own experiences are a good basis and guide for

457
the creation of good visions that will elevate the lot of
Nigerians and the world at large. That's a great legacy.
My current contemplations are many. I can
choose the pulpit on a ful-time basis to radically preach
the Word of God to transform lives for the better; or
write books on how to achieve the necessities of a
successful life. I could create a website by which to
reach out to countless people around the globe and
pour out life-transforming information therein to them
or join the handwaggon of those dedicated to praying
ceaselessly for Nigeria. I could also create a trust fund
to provide for the training of people for impactful
vocations. All these I have brainstormed upon. I have
also contemplated the possibility of venturing into
politics but have seen that in the way it is currently
played in Nigeria, it is dangerous for people like me.
The electoral process is fraught with bobby traps
without transparency, and the growth of a genuine,
democratic culture that will advance the harmony of
heterogeneous Nigeria is being denied, suppressed and
killed.
To me, politics, politics in such a stage is not
synonymous with service to others' but like a
professional career practice meant solely for selfish and
heartless acquisitions! How does one operate in an
atmosphere where the elected are a bunch of puppets,
bought and shackled under the constantly
manipulating, proverbial monsters called political
godfathers. There is no room therefore for the
independent-minded, like me. And yet, politics

458
remains the only direct and surest public avenue for
the rapid redressing of chronic social ills and inequities!
We therefore look to God for guidance as Nigeria
battles against mighty corruption for her very survival.
If the battle is won to the extent that those who
would hold political offices are prepared to be the
servants of the people (which might not be impossible
during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the
political bandwagon!
I have therefore resolved to continue to watch the
turn of events as they unfold (especially considering
the current bold battle against corruption in the
country) while exploring alternative schemes to fulfill
my aims. If the battle is won to the extent that those
who would hold poiltical office are prepared to be the
servants of the people (which might not be impossible
during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the
political bandwagon!
For now, however, I have concentrated on a
combination of what Robert G. Allen, in his book
“Multiple Streams of Income”, calls Inforpreneuring,
network marketing and internet fortunes, as well as the
exhortations of the pulpit to advance my goal of
helping people to acquire the necessary knowledge to
eradicate poverty from their lives.
I have already identified writing books as another
avenue to achieve this, and I plan henceforth, God
willing, to release books to the market as often as
possible.
I will also do whatever I can within the shortest
possible time, to properly populate my website
459
(www.joent-ng-com), not only with the electronic
versions of my books but also conduct interactive
sessions in the same web by which people, generally,
would key into their own visions.

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 Chapter 58

In The
People's Court
One criticism that has always greeted auto-biographies
is the fact that they are self-exalting. Because I am
normally self-effacing, if there had been a way to say I
achieved this or that, without a tinge of self praise, I
would have adopted that approach. If there's anything
like praise-singing in this book, then it is to God Almighty, and
the good people He sent my way whom my achievements in life
are centred around, certainly not me. I am only favoured by
Him!
In that understanding therefore, I would advise my
readers to ignore the urge to criticize my tendencies or
seeming hyperboles and simply use my related
experiences to moderate their own lives for good.
They should see how I identified with and received the
help of God, surmounted one obstacle after the other,
and the successes that resulted from the struggles.
That track is where the benefits lie.
But in the course of writing this book I had this
inspiration to allow a few people who knew me closely
enough to make some input. I particularly appealed to
them not to ignore my weaknesses dwell too much on
my strengths (if any). Understandably, I gave room
first to my closest ally, my wife; then my children
(biological or otherwise). I contacted one of my
'children' who worked with me sometime in the 1990's.
As may have been observed at the beginning of this

461
book, one of my greatest benefactors, Mrs Ogun,
contributed the second foreward to the book after Bisi
Ojediran's.
From what follows, my readers will agree that this
book has been actually co-authored by many people
(whom I appreciate for their frankness):

How I See My Husband

Before the arrival of Yemi into my life, my simple

prayer of faith had been: “Lord, when I am ripe for
marriage, please provide for me, a godly man who will
care for me; who will not beat me or maltreat me in
any way”. This prayer-point emanated from the fact
that I was not pleased with the ways some of our
tenants' maltreated their wives and by extension, their
children. I didn't want to experience such at all.
Yemi caught me really young at about the age of
14 years. Then I was in JSS3 or so. For the seven
years that we courted, and till I got married to him at
the age of 21years, I did not really understand the full
implications of marriage. My limited understanding of
marriage was that it is a relationship where both parties
have to assert their rights. Indeed I felt my work-life
was more important than marriage because of the
belief I had inculcated that once I had the money, a
husband was secondary. My father emphasized to me
the need for a woman to be as hard working as a man
so that she will be able to fend for herself unassisted.
Though caring, I was somehow temperamental. I
was on the very cautious side and did not want my
462
seemingly caring disposition to be mistaken or
interpreted to mean stupidity. Even when I had
occasions to correct my children and those whom we
are privileged to sojourn together under the same roof,
I did it so harshly that my intent could have been
misconstrued as being that of a difficult woman. It is
not so. I am only very concerned about 'caution'.
I wanted everything done the way it should be
done; that is, the way I wanted it - no half-measures! I
encouraged people, especially children and the youths,
to take initiatives, for by doing that, they would attain
maturity themselves. Whenever I noticed any
unacceptable trait in any child, I drive such child hard.
In fact one of my children had so much of this, but I
am happy he realized that it was not out of hatred!
I never felt comfortable with anybody outside my
immediate and (sometimes) extended family members
then. This attitude had been informed by Bible
passages, such as “The heart of man is desperately
wicked”, “Woe unto any man who puts his faith on
human beings”. I was also so disposed because of the
act of wickedness perpetrated by some characters in
the Bible as well as those reported in the media.
Newspapers are full of them on a daily basis! For this
reason, I became very cautious about cultivating
friends (especially female friends), the majority of
whom I believed would use such closeness to give one
wrong counsel that could ruin one's home. My attitude
towards the girl-child generally is that she is more
difficult to raise than boys; so I preferred to have boys
instead. My prayer had been that if God decides to give
463
me both sexes, fine, but I would prefer to have more
boys than girls!
As if I was perfect myself or perhaps because of what I
had imbibed from my Muslim background, I believed
in the idea of “let anybody who commits any sin,
receive the maximum punishment for his or her sin”!
From this attitude Yemi developed an acronym, “TFT”
(meaning Tit-for-Tat”), with which he teased me
whenever I exhibited that trait. He even jokingly
turned “TFT” to be a proverbial Church, of which I
was the proverbial Pastor-Founder!
According to him he belongs to the “Freedom
Church”, where there is no sin too big to be forgiven
and where he, the Pastor-Founder himself, only
depends upon God's grace to attain everything
(including making heaven).
That's one of the wonderful ways he brought me
around to reasonableness without hurting me.
Indeed, as soon as our relationship started, my
husband, Yemi, started to work relentlessly on me,
using the word of God to disabuse my mind of
misconceptions. This he did alongside the teachings
he gave me in my academic pursuits. He took out
quality time patiently to tutor me on the nature and
expectations of God and man, and the need to adjust
my attitude to suit the will of God for man, and reach
out to people generally.
According to him, despite the Biblical passages
and the myriad sad reports seeming to give credence to
the wickedness of man, if treated well, man is generally
good. He reasons that due to broken backgrounds,
464
possibly arising from unfriendly social environments in
which they grew up, some people become wicked.
However, he sees their wickedness as an exception to
the general rule by which God created man good,
which makes man truly good.
He believes that all human beings need God as
well as themselves to make some headway in life but to
achieve that, one only needs to live right with God
and network with good people.
He also believes that rather than wait to be treated
well first by others, everybody should pioneer first the
act of doing so to others! I testify that he takes the lead
in this area. Wherever he goes, he creates a home for
himself.
He points out that wicked as man may seem, he
appreciates good gestures and is willing to reciprocate
them if extended to him. He believes that relationship
with people should NOT be based on expectations and
rewards. Rather it should be based on true and
unconditional love as Jesus Christ demonstrated
through his own life. He has this philosophy of
'friendship for life', which, to him, is best for
everybody.
Concomitant with his philosophy of life, whenever
he notices the traits of inconsistency in any friend, he
does not quarrel over the development but gradually
withdraws his deep attachment to him or her, while
maintaining the relationship and, surprisingly, puts the
the person in his prayers for God to restore him or her
with His grace.

465
 On polygamy into which we were both born, he
believes that its problem is not in the number of
women or the children that constitute or comprise it.
Rather its inherent turbulence arises from the fact that
the women in it do not particularly love themselves.
Naturally, they transfer their attendant bitterness to
their children. His dispassionate role in his own
polygamous homes, where he ensures that everybody is
treated with unconditional love without discrimination
- a practice he extended to my own family after our
marriage, has taught me a lesson to live above
sentiments in our dealings with all human beings,
especially in a polygamous culture as in Africa. I am
indeed surprised at his high commitment to his family,
nuclear or extended. He drums it into us that God
who created us into polygamous backgrounds
deposited blessings therein for our benefit. Therefore,
those who revolt in the circumstance or environment
reject their ordained messianic roles in them!
Genuine love is the need for everyone to practise
it wherever one finds oneself. That is his greatest
gospel. Relying on the relevant provisions of the Bible,
he teaches it to us in the family, day and night, and
practically demonstrates it in everything he does -
sometimes at the risk of everything he has!
Because he is trustworthy, the disposition attracts
people to him from all spheres of life. He is, clearly, a
crowd puller who enjoys the recognition (whenever he
is not in isolation writing his books or carrying out his
numerous researches), solving everyone's problems to
the best of his means. He regards all his interactions
466
with people in all spheres of human engagement no
matter their ages as family, whom he treats equally. I
was initially disturbed by this all-inclusive existence (for
I considered him too plain for the Nigerian
environment) but eventually accepted the situation as
his natural inclination. He once told me: “I would
most likely die early if I am not allowed to relate freely
with people!”
He hates cheating and admonishes that “we can be
rich without stealing”. He believes that people should
endeavour to keep proper records of their properties
so as to be able to explain themselves whenever the
situation arises.
While he may be regarded as a core giver, he
makes the distinction between a “Father Christmas”
and a “purposeful” welfarer. Apart from his generosity
due to “general love for people”, he likes to be
convinced of the productive use to which his giving is
put before committing himself.
If you offend him, rather than keep malice, he
believes he could call you and tell you exactly where
you went wrong and continue to relate with you as if
there had been no ripple!
He has an especial soft spot for women and
children whom he sees as vulnerable victims in our
society. He therefore encourages me to own
properties as much as I can and supports me in doing
so.
Another unique quality of Yemi is his ability to
tame people no matter how difficult they may be. So
he can cope with all manner of men, women and
467
children. He simply operates at their levels and thereby
registering himself in their hearts in no time at all! I am
not gifted with such patience!
He's delighted when people visit but upset if they
are ill-treated or mistreated. Until amends are made, he
will continue to worry! So to avoid embarrassment, you
must treat visitors correctly and his definition of
proper treatment is 'total comfort'!
Yemi has some weaknesses like everyone else.
For instance, when he decides to talk, he does so
ceaselessly but when he chooses to keep quiet, he's
withdrawn, dumb and irritating!
He's a restless fellow too. I have had to appeal to him
to have days when he rests and eats properly. Each
time we served his food, we are very cautious about the
size. If, in trying to please him and make him eat well,
the food exceeds a certain measure, he would not eat
the food. He would simply complain that we have
succeeded in spoiling his appetite! If the salt is not
enough or a little bit more than necessary, he might not
eat food! The position of our bed shifts according to
his mood and the whole house is re-organised
endlessly! He pays serious attention to details.
On the spiritual side, I see him as deep-rooted in
the word of God, yet he claims as far as the
understanding of the Bible is concerned 'I am a
novice'. I think the Bible is his sustenance and driving
force.
He manages to harmonise his love for me with his
obsession for (and addiction to) his electronic gadgets
(computers of all shades, sophisticated handsets,
468
desktops, palm-tops, etc), which he treasures so much
and with which he acomplishes feats. He is very
sensitive about these gadgets and his books! Above all,
he loves taking what I call 'positive risks'!
His ability to effectively manage crises was fully
demonstrated through the way he prayerfully and
coolheadedly managed the change of name sometimes
in the early 1990's apparently without hurting anybody,
even in the face of provocation!
I must confess that Yemi is the one who actually
opened me up to several facets of life (how to relate
with extended families, children, neighbours,etc) and
still continues to expand my understanding even as I
write.
Whatever successes I may have recorded in my
marriage and in some other areas of life, I achieved
them because he has good visions for his home. I
identify with those visions, as he has done with mine.
No doubt Yemi is an asset to all.
- Mary

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Our Father, As We Know Him
My dad is a man, a real man if you know what I
mean. He is made in the image of God indeed and I
really thank God for him as I observe his many virtues
, apart from his discipline, maturity and fatherly love.
He leads us by example and, as his son, I know that his
example is a great challenge for me now and in the
future.
I don't think I have found a better example of a
true father, a loving husband, and a family-oriented
man than him. He makes his mistakes sometimes, but
admits his flaws too. However, such natural
shortcomings haven't diminished his being loving. He
has truly laid a great example of self-development for
us all. Whatever he has done in the family, he has
always carried my mother particularly along. Any
decision he has taken concerning the home or
whatever he tells us about anything, he always
concludes with “Your mother and I have discussed and
this is our conclusion…” .
Another delight for the family is that he speaks our
local dialect fluently with our mum and we are able to
share because the rest of us have been taught well in
the use of language. I thank God for making him my
mother's loving husband who has cared for us the way
only a good father could have done.

- Olumide

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I cant' really write all I know about this man called
Yemi Omogboyega than to say he is a worthy father.
He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed
poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was
determined to attain greater heights academically,
economically and spiritually.
He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed
poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was
determined to attain greater heights academically,
economically and spiritually. I do not know much
about his past, except what I read from the first edition
of his book, “Better Tomorrow” published when I was
5 years old (which I got hold of). He is a man who
could be confided in.
The bottom line of his success in life is the Bible,
which is one and the most important thing he used in
guiding and bringing us up. Though he is the head of
the family, decisions in the family are taken collectively
through dialogue and mutual agreement.
He's a man who has time for his family despite his
workload. He devotes time for his children and his
family. He corrects lovingly when it is needed and
frowns seriously at laziness and whoever jeopardizes
his education and spirituality. Though I personally was
a “bone in his neck”, he made me 'flesh' through God's
word and his persistence, now. Now I testify to his
capability of being a good father. When I speak to my
friends and learn about their own backgrounds, I have
reason to always thank God for the kind of man he
made my father!
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 The times I don't like to see him is when he is
angry because he sets fear in the mind of the culprit,
even if the culprit wants to confess. He lays so much
emphasis on the offence that the culprit is forced to
keep quiet till he calms down. But I think he still
empathises. His positive influence in our entire
families is overwhelming. Though man cannot be
satisfied, he tries his best economically, academically,
and spiritually.
As I said earlier, I can only write on him limitedly
because God knows him best. His attitude isn't new to
me because it had been revealed to me in a dream
when I was less than two years old that the family I
was in was the best I could ever be and it later turned
out to be so ever since.
I pray that Dad lives long enough to be able to
impart this legacy on many, and we should be able to
do as he did, in Jesus name. If God would be that
faithful, I pray that God gives me the grace to be able
to truly appreciate him during his lifetime.

” - Muyiwa

472
 “For the first 15 years of my life, which I have
spent with my father, I have learnt a lot from him, and
he has had a lot of positive impact on my life in that
time.
First and foremost, my father is loving, caring,
kind and tender-hearted . He has exhibited these
qualities not only to his biological children but also to
his aged parents, other members of the larger family as
a whole and to people around him in general.
His first act of love, has been to send us, all his
children to good schools for proper education, and he
has taken time to assess our performance at school
almost every day. He reminds us constantly that
examiners who set our question papers are human
beings and that such questions have correct answers,
which can be arrived at diligently without resorting to
cheating. He has always assured us of his assistance to
enable us do well in the examinations but he would
never subscribe to or tolerate cheating, nor beg or
bribe his way for us to secure admission to any higher
institutions!
Just as he encourages us, so also he doles out
discipline to us on the other hand as he advises us on
very many issues of life. He demonstrates this
evenhandedness also to his extended families - every
member he attends to whenever the need arises.
Indeed he actively cultivates the harmony that exists
between the families.
Secondly, even if I am the one saying so, my father
is a God-fearing person, a disposition, he told us, that
generated from the early religious teaching his mother
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gave to him which wisdom he, in turn, was obliged to
pass on to us for our benefit.
He makes sure that everyone in his household
puts God first in everything and that they participate in
the things of God in the church.
My first reality of my father's determination and
visionis the fear of God in him which enables him not
to get angry easily and, even in such a state, he would
never abuse or curse anybody because such attitude is
against the will of God. Another thing I have learned
from my father is that he tries to keep the right
relationship with everyone including neighbours.
He is a prolific writer as his numerous fast-moving
books, which touch the lives of people, attest to this
fact.
Lastly, one of the most lovely aspects of my
father is his focus on a vision-driven life. The oral
history of his life that makes the round in family circles
is that from his youth, my father has relentlessly tried
to curb poverty in the family. Even as I write, we the
children (biological or otherwise) have constituted
ourselves into a “ Poverty Eradication Committee”.
This Committee was headed by my Uncle and name
sake, Olasunkanmi Kolawole. Encouragingly, Dad has
assigned us a theoretical project to debate extensively
on poverty, its causes and how to alleviate it (!) which
would be subject to his periodic review.
The reason for doing this engagement, according
to Dad, is for us to be aware, early in our lives, of the
many tentacles and ramifications of poverty and learn
how, not only to conquer it but plug, forever, all the
474
holes of its possible recurrence in the family! His
children's early sustainability was his shocking
declaration when I was about ten years old that, all
things being equal, we (his biological or non-biological
children) would quit his house by the time we were 25
years old to be on our own! At that time, I had
challenged him that he couldn't have been serious with
his statement but he had dared me to disregard the
warning. The effect was that I was triggered to study
hard so that I could pass all my exams before the
expiration of his ultimatum and secure good
employment so I can be on my own!
He has been a wonderful father.”

- Sunkanmi

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“My father is a man who takes his time to give us
moral lessons.
He buys quality materials for me. He cares for me and
he makes sure nobody beats me when I do something
wrong because he believes that you don't need to beat
a child before he changes for the better. He believes
that it is better to talk to the child than to beat him for
every mistake he makes.
. He is a man who has a vision and plans for all his
children. He is a simple man. He does not allow
wastage in his house. For instance he is always annoyed
when we waste food. He pays our school fees on time
and buys us all our books. He checks our class work
everyday and tells us not to cheat in our examinations.
He says we can pass our examinations if we read hard
and that he wants us to be the best and that is why he
buys all our books for us, give us light to read and sit
with us to discuss everything with us. He prays for us
all the time.
One day he told us we must leave his house at the
age of 25 years! I didn't like that but he has since
explained it to me and I now understand his reason so
that we will not be lazy! I am now working to be on
my own before that age and God will help me.
He is the best teacher that has ever taught me in
the teens class in our Church. My father loves his wife.
I like to be like him when I grow up.”

- Olatunbosun

476
He Moulded My Life!

I lived with him at a crucial period in my life - a

period when I needed to be given a purposeful
direction - immediately after completing my Secondary
School Education.
The man, MR. JOHN OMOGBOYEGA, is an
icon of wisdom, which I believe is supernaturally
endowed upon him by God Almighty. Knowing him is
like discovering an oil well, which brings about general
turn around and life changing circumstance, whenever
you believe in his principle of life generally. He is a
man who believes that it is not when you are born with
silver spoon that your name can be among the
Hallmark of fame; rather, he believes that a man can
work out his own destiny with God supporting him.
One of his philosophies is that the one legacy a
man can leave for his children is EDUCATION.
According to him, it is only God, education and hard-
work that can break the backbone of poverty and
social intimidation. He taught us thoroughly on how
to free ourselves from the shackles of poverty and
ignorance.
His book, “BETTER TOMORROW” (the 1992
edition which I was priviledged to read when I lived
with him) revealed to me that only the fools do not
believe about tomorrow because, each day lived, keeps
the future in suspense, hence the journey to tomorrow.
This book is a Fountain of Life. It charted a good
course for my life. I was doubly blessed because I
witnessed him live what he preached, and he personally
477
taught me day and night the fear of God, hard work,
and appreciation of people. Today, his personality is
registered in my person!

-Kazeem Ojo Olanipekun

478
He Has The Right Answer to Every Question!

I am Mrs Adebimpe Aruna (nee Adewole). I met

Mr.Omogboyega in January, 1999, when I was
introduced to him by my Uncle, Mr. Joseph Oluokun,
his friend. Then I was on National Youth Service
Corps (NYSC) and had to serve in his office. He was
my Team Leader but soon my relationship with him
graduated to that between a father and his daughter He
integrated me, embracing my brother Michael who
graduated at the same time with me from the
University of Jos, my parents and my entire family.
He called me “daughter” and treated me truly as one.
So his home became our home.
Mr. Omogboyega has become my mentor and my
role model too. I learnt so much from him during my
service year. He weaned me into integrity management
and administrative skills that have become invaluable
to me wherever I work. It is a hallmark of his
inductive grooming that determination and persistency
in whatever one does guarantees success in life. He
used to tell me that whatever the disadvantages of
one's background, it should not be allowed to foreclose
one's success in life. He said that what mattered was
belief in one's capacity to make it in life through hard
work and a strong will, such that even the sky is one's
beginning! He seemed to have answers to most
concerns, from the spiritual to the secular!
However, he has a 'weakness', if you will call it
that! He does not tolerate laziness or the flighty female
479
preoccupied with relationship with the opposite sex
during the work period!
He was very patient with me, and corrected errors
with compassion and a detailed explanation of how
they occur and how to avoid their recurrence. He
cherishes humility a lot. His general attitude at work as
a leader was like 'he was actually handing over' his
office as a legacy to the younger generation, so that as
you grew in your responsibilities, he gave you more
room to bring out the best in you.
At home, he has remained a loving father and
husband too, who pursues his children's education
while carrying his wife along in all he does. One thing
he always says about his wife is: “my wife is my best
partner!”. Another unique circumstance of his life is
that his house was always full of people. I was not
surprised at this though, because his nature was such
that many people like to associate with him.
Finally, the manifestation of the divine grace upon
his life which enables him to virtually work round the
clock, always armed with the latest information
technology! As he has been to me, Mr. Omogboyega is
a mentor and role model for the youth.

480
 Chapter 59

I am Grateful!
To God

It is good to be with you O' Lord,

It is good to praise you always
For you are the Merciful God of All

O Lord, I will ever praise you

For your unqualified mercies
Showered upon me
And for the inestimable love
You bestow upon me always
You have focused on my very self
Your handiwork, Your image
And given me priceless wisdom
And the vision
With which you freely endowed me

When I reflect
Upon those moments of distress
seeming hopelessness in my
life as a lone struggler,
And how you brought me forth
I will ever praise you
For your undaunting support
And protection

481
Like David,
I told you my plans
And You acted swiftly
I thank you for my past
For my present
And in advance, for my future.

You called Abraham “Father of Faith”

You called Moses “Apple of My Eyes”
You called Jesus “My Beloved Son”
You called Yemi “My Favoured Child”
I thought I was nothing
But You called me Somebody
I may have a zero-balanced Bank Account
I own everything I own on credit basis
I am grateful for even making me credit worthy in the
first place
I am grateful for though I borrow today,
I will soon be a net lender to nations!

I am rich in Your Glory

Your Peace in me is like a flowing River
Source source keeps on supplying freshness to my
existence
You make my life meaningful
You brought me for some purposes
To care for people is one of them
It all started with my parents
You make me an asset to them
Even the one that is dead died happy!
482
The ones still alive
Continue to see Your hands in their lives
You gave me the key to 'hold on' to their lives
Not until I ask them to go,
You never call them to You!
You did say concerning me:
“Whoever Touches or Cheats you will receive my
vengance!”
And I have seen it happen on several occasions!
You bless all the works of my hands!
Above all, You gave me the greatest commodity to
market -
“Your Word”
You followed it with uncontrollable positive
inspirations
That produce many books all at the same time
You give me a multi-purpose woman to marry
(Sometimes a wife, all the time a mother, a friend, a
sister, a daughter, an associate,
a critique, a girlfriend, an auntie … too many angles to
capture in a book)
You radiate beauty in her such that her face brightens
my day!
You give me children who are zealous for You
Your Ministers from their mother's Womb!
That is a major source of joy to me!
You surround me with many more spirit-filled children

Polygamous house is death to many

Inside it you planted me
You make it a place of unparalleled joy for me
483
You make my brothers and sisters truly friends
So, our mothers were mere vessels
But our unity and love know no boundary!

You Banished poverty from our lineage

Currently we are in a 'comfort zone'
Whereas You are taking us all to 'a flourishing zone'!
Thank you in advance for we know we are there
already!

I worship You, I adore You, My Lord, My God, My

creator,
My provider, Awimayehun, Asoro matase, Oyigiyigi,
Oba to ju Oba lo
Kaa bi yesi Re ooo! Olodumare!

To All My Friends Indeed

This is my special "Thank YOU"

To you all who
Today I can remember for good
For the appreciable contributions
Morally, socially and economical,
For making my dreams
Of a BETTER TOMORROW
A reality

For the struggling lots,

At this stage of my life,
I now believe firmly
That nothing succeeds like success
484
And success can be attained
Only through faith in God
Friendliness to humanity
And hard work
With strong determination to succeed
For there is no crown
Without a cross

To My Friends in Dismay

I have often heard a people say

"These enemies of mine
Will not allow me progress
Every step I take, they frustrate"

I assure you enemies there may be

Because you think you have some
Otherwise, those you refer to as such
Dictate the pace
Of your Progress in life
In the Holy Bible,
They did it to Joseph
Also to Job

But rather than fail,

These men triumphed
They realised God's plan
For their lives.

They did it to Jesus Christ

But God be praised!
485
Jesus accomplished his goal
To "finish" the work of our salvation!

Today, it may be you

And then me
God watches them
So that we may accomplish
His plans for us
And His glory will shine upon us
If only we have faith in Him

Aren't these "enemies"

Your greatest friends
Who, simply put, appear like foes
And to whom you should remain grateful?
As for me, I say a big 'Thank You' to them.

486
 Chapter 60

I Am Fulfilled!
With this book successfully completed, published
And released to the entire world,
I feel a sense of a great achievement
It is a great milestone achieved in my voyage through
this world
I feel truly joyous, I feel great.
That I am going to positively touch people's lives
All over the universe
I am convinced that the spirit of the Lord
Will open my readers' hearts and minds
To the truth about life
And by granting them understanding
That will free them all
From the shackles of life
If only this happens with this book
Then I have left a mark
In the sands of time
I am fulfilled!

THE END

“Readers of this book are bound to form opinions

and attitudes about this central episode, but the
487
larger point that is clearly established is
Omogboyega’s Socratesian realization that “man
must know himself.”
- Reuben Abati

488